


Alone Together

by AgentGrey



Series: The Chosen Two [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety Attacks, Betrayal, Canon-Typical Violence, Depression, Enemies to Friends, F/F, F/M, Friends to Enemies, Guarded Faith, Heavy Angst, Hurt Buffy Summers, Jealousy, Love Triangles, Mental Health Issues, Minor Cordelia/Xander, Minor Willow/Oz, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Buffy, Past Child Abuse, Season Rewrite, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-06-20 08:11:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 192,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15529920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentGrey/pseuds/AgentGrey
Summary: Season 3 rewrite.  The only major change is that Buffy and Faith meet in LA at the start of the season.  Some other tweaks along the way to fix things that irk me, but otherwise sticking to canon except for where the altered relationship between Buffy and Faith changes things.  This will be part of a five-season rewrite tracing the ups and downs of Buffy and Faith's relationship.  No promises that they get together together in this one, but it's still a fun time with all the unrequited love, mutual pining, and angst that everyone loves, right?#ProtectFaithIt you ever wanna chat about my stories, or anything really, my Twitter handle is @baileygrey789





	1. Slayers in the Big City

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have a specific posting schedule or anything. Most of the chapters will adhere to an episode by episode format (ie Chapter 1 = Episode 1) but sometimes I'll skip an episode or splice two episodes together, where it makes sense for the story I'm telling.
> 
> Also note that I've never read Go Ask Malice. I'm pulling bits and pieces from that for Faith's backstory, but I'm also adding in some stuff of my own.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith is on the run from the vampires who killed her Watcher. Buffy has abandoned Sunnydale after having to sacrifice Angel to save the world. Chance or fate bring them together in LA, and sparks fly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anne

_I think I’m gonna like this town._   Faith smirked as she danced between two random guys, enjoying the way the music pulsed through her body.  She still hadn’t gotten tired of the way everything felt just a little amplified since she had been chosen.  _Who fucking talks like that anyway?  Chosen?_   But it was always most present when she could lose herself in a crowd.  She could feel the ebb and flow of the bodies around her, everything all sweat and desire and movement.

She could also sense the lack of movement.  Nah, that wasn’t quite right.  There was a pulsing to the bodies around her.  The human ones anyway.  The beating of hearts.  The in and out of breath.  These things marked the living as such—everything with life was about the in and the out.  Breathing.  Eating.  Fucking.  But not vamps.  Even as this guy moved through the crowd, there was that little sense of offness about him.  He moved, but he wasn’t moving.  Not like everyone else.  She might be new to this slayer thing, but this aspect of it just worked for her.  It was all instinct, and that was something Faith understood, in her gut.

She flashed a grin at the one guy who was looking at her, hip checking the other away from her so she’d have the space to make her way back to the bar.  It was amazing what a fine ass and a flirty look could get her.  She ordered another shot of whiskey as she waved at the guy whose tab it was on.  But her attention was firmly on tall, dark, and deadsome moving from the edge of the dance floor towards the exit, a young woman under his arm.  She was feeling just enough of a buzz at this point that the vamp might actually give her a bit of a fight.  The thrill of the chase shot through her.

Faith loved the danger of it all.  There was nothing like it.  The world was all pain and bullshit, but this—this was simple.  Straightforward.  Kill or be killed.  Good vs. evil.  Slayer vs. vampire.  If she wasn’t good enough it wouldn’t matter.  Be good enough, or be dead. 

 _Simple_.

She dropped by the guy on the dance floor just long enough to grab his ass and assure him she’d be right back, before making a beeline after the vamp and horror movie victim #2.  She grabbed a pool cue on her way out the side door and into the alley.  At this point, she had worked up a decent amount of muscle memory when it came to the slayage.  These vamps were all the same.  Dark club or bar, separate a girl from the crowd, find an empty alley.  So cliché.  But hell, the violence was predictable too.  Only this violence was on Faith’s terms.  She was the one who brought the pain, and then the death.

“Hey buddy, I don’t think they’re supposed to whimper like that—not exactly a reliable sign a girl’s into your moves, ya know?”  The vamp’s face jerked towards her, and it was clear he expected her to recoil in fear.  She guessed it could be a gruesome sight if a person wasn’t so used to it.  Brows all ridged and bumpy, pulled into a permanent scowl over animalistic yellow eyes.  Gleaming fangs already dripping with a bit of blood.  Blah. Blah. Blah.  

Faith had the pool cue behind her head, draping her arms over it in a pose of feigned boredom.  “Let’s see ya bring that ugly scowl over here, see if you can make me whimper, big boy.”  The vampire grimaced, taking the bait.  He pulled away from the girl, who was smart enough to immediately run away.  He stalked towards her.

“Think you’re pretty tough, huh, little girl?” 

“I think it’d be pretty funny if I shoved this pool cue all the way up your ass,” Faith retorted.  That got him.  He lunged at her, and she dodged.  Her footwork was a little off, thanks to the booze, but she still managed to slide past him, clumsily bringing the cue down and around, swinging it to crack over the back of his head.  “But as fun as that sounds, that wouldn’t be the most effective use of a long, pointy piece of wood, huh vamp face?”

She kicked him in the chest as hard as she could, forcing him to the ground, and she was on top of him immediately.  Her thighs held him against the ground, and _wow, I guess violence turns him on as much as it does me._   “Aww buddy, that’s too bad,” she smirked before bringing the sharp end of the cue down, fast and hard, into his chest.   Probably his erection wasn’t the first thing to turn to dust, but it sorta felt that way.  _Oh well._

Faith pushed herself off the ground, brushing the remains of the demon off her pants. She checked the side door she had exited through, but it was, of course, locked.  _Figures._   She walked back around the corner towards the entrance.  _Don’t feel like sleeping in the car tonight, and I’m too lazy to go looking for a motel.  Surely one of these boys is looking for a bedmate._   Then movement in the street caught her attention.

Some crazy old dude had walked out into the street, and a truck was bearing down on him.  Out of nowhere, this tiny blonde shot out after him, knocking him out of the way and taking the full force of the truck herself.  _Yikes._   Faith understood the impulse for the heroics.  She had entertained thoughts like that herself when she had first gotten her powers.  But she knew better now.  Knew what was out there.  _You can’t stick your neck out for people like that, because all it’ll get you is a broken neck._   As this girl had just found out.

Then, incredibly, she stood up.  There was a crowd around her, and someone called for an ambulance.  But the blonde shook off all the attention, before taking off at a dead sprint, as if nothing had happened.  Concerns about the nightclub, the pliant boys, and the possibly of a warm bed for the night were gone from Faith’s mind.  She had eyes only for this blonde girl, and she took off down the sidewalk after her.

 _Maybe I’ll get in two slayings tonight.  But why would a vamp or a demon or whatever save some old fuddy duddy from becoming roadkill?_ Faith couldn’t help but also wonder when they started making demons that looked that sexy.

~~~~

Faith didn’t get a chance to confront the mysterious blonde that night.  Or rather, elected not to force a confrontation.  Not yet.  Just before she had caught up to the girl ( _vamp girl?_ ), she had bumped into someone.  Faith kept her distance.  Turned out it was one of those creepy middle-aged white evangelist type dudes, trying to sell the girl on the healing power of god or whatever.  Faith had seen a lot of evil in the last few months, but it was still humans who most often gave her the genuine willies.  Being manipulative and abusive without a soul, that’s just nature.  Being manipulative and abusive with a soul, now **_that’s_** evil.

She went out of her way to avoid the guy, and just her luck, she nearly lost track of the blonde in the process.  Fortunately, tracking was another one of those Slayer instincts that she had taken a shining to.  Faith picked up her scent just in time to see her enter what looked like a shitty apartment building.  The surroundings had gotten rattier as she followed the girl to her destination ( _home?_ ), but she guessed that shouldn’t be a big surprise.  Vamps aren’t usually with the living large, now were they?  Honestly, the place reminded her a lot of the dingy south Boston building she had lived in with her mom for a couple of years.

Now it was the next morning, and Faith was posted up on the roof of a building across the street.  She guessed this was home sweet home for the girl, seeing as how she hadn’t left the building that night.  The front door opened just fine, so she did a quick sweep of the place to see if maybe the blonde was here to inflict some violence on someone.  No such luck, as far as Faith could tell.  She couldn’t figure out which apartment blondie had gone into, leaving Faith to debate how she wanted to play this.  Nothing about this girl set off her Slayer sense in terms of big bad danger.  But she had some serious power about her, that much was sure.  She decided that she’d just go ahead and stake out the building, see when the girl came back out.

 _What am I even doing here?_  Faith hadn’t slept, except for a couple of accidental power naps when the boredom got to her.  She was feeling cramped and tight, her body in desperate need of some serious action.  But she couldn’t bring herself to leave.  Something about this girl intrigued her in a way Faith couldn’t really describe.  Something about her body language.  She seemed … off.  All that strength, but she walked as if she wanted to take up as little space as possible.  Seemed like she wanted to avoid people.  Skittish almost. _Girl seemed like she could use a hug._

Faith frowned.  Her thought surprised her.  She wasn’t exactly the hugging type.  Dancing, fighting, fucking—those were the ways she was used to getting physical.  Hugging—that usually came with emotional stakes that inevitably led down a bad path.  Besides, that kinda power had to mean demon.  Unless …

There was another Slayer.  Diana had told her that much early on, when she’d first taken her in off the streets.  Buffy.  But Ms. ‘I Died and Then I Got Better’ was supposed to be in some small town somewhere, not the mean streets of LA.  Something about a Hellmouth or whatever.  Nothing about the girl Faith had tracked to this shithole screamed ‘Slayer.’  Strength, sure.  But the blonde was timid and avoidy in a way that Faith couldn’t imagine being—not since she’d gotten these wicked powers and all.  But Faith had never heard of a good demon, so what other explanation was there?  If there were other super-powered folks out there doing good, other than the Slayer ( ** _Slayers_** _,_ Faith reminded herself), surely Diana would’ve told her about them.  That was Watcher 101, right? 

The sun had been out for a while now, and the girl hadn’t showed her face outside.  So either she was staying put for the day, or she would come out and prove she wasn’t a vampire.  Faith’s stomach growled at her angrily.  _Oh right, growing girl’s gotta eat._ She should probably check on her car, too.  Half her stash was hidden in the passenger side door panel, probably wasn’t a good idea to leave it abandoned for too much longer. 

Still, she didn’t move.  She’d been sitting here on her ass all night, bored out of her mind, and yet part of her wanted nothing more than to stick around and wait on the mystery blonde.  _Geez, stalker much?_   Faith couldn’t explain why she was so captivated, so she told herself it was just the Slayer instinct.  Chick could be dangerous, and she was duty bound to take her out before she could hurt anyone.  _But why did she save that guy?_

Faith shook off the questions piling up in her brain, deciding that she needed food.  _Stop indulging this … whatever this is._   But of course, that’s the exact moment she noticed the blonde step out of the building, into the bright morning sunlight.

 _Definitely not a vamp._  Hunger forgotten for the moment, she took off down the fire escape of the building, making her way to the street before she could lose sight of Blondie.  She didn’t go too far, and not quite in the same direction she had come from that night.  After a ten-minute walk, she entered a run down looking diner called Helen’s Kitchen.  Faith may have dropped out of high school, but even she knew that the crappy pun was wrong, geographically speaking.  The girl took off her coat as she entered, revealing an overly cheesy diner waitress outfit, a bland white dress with red plaid at the collar and sleeves.  She hung her coat up on a rack behind the counter, then tied a matching red apron around her waist.  Her hair was even in pigtails, completing the embarrassingly cliché look.  _She’s a cute, all-American looking blonde … demon? … who works day shifts at a shitty diner?_

None of this was adding up, and it only made the girl that much more intriguing.  But Faith was done playing wait and see.  Patience and spywork weren’t exactly her style, and she had an empty stomach and sore ass to show for it.  Time for a more direct approach.  Faith was starving, and she could scope this chick out, talk to her a little, while she ate. 

She hung back long enough to get a look at which part of the diner was the blonde’s section, then she entered the diner and took a seat at a booth where she knew she’d get the girl as a waitress.  It took less than a minute for her to notice Faith and walk over.  She had a name tag on that read ‘Anne.’  _Huh._   Faith was underwhelmed.  The girl definitely didn’t look like an Anne.  But then again, there wasn’t much about the girl’s current appearance that didn’t strike Faith as ill-fitting. 

“Welcome to Helen’s,” the girl murmured, refusing to meet Faith’s eyes except for a brief initial glance.  “Here’s a menu.  Can I grab you some coffee or orange juice?”

Faith made a split second decision and went with it.  “Hey there, Blondie,” she practically sang, putting on her nice girl voice.  The nickname was enough to make the girl’s eyes widen in surprise, and she looked at Faith in time to catch the confident grin she was flashing the girl.  “Coffee sounds great, black’s fine.  I’m starvin’ though.  Feel like I could eat a horse.  But like a … breakfast horse, ya know?  Got any recommendations?”

Blondie— _I’m **not** calling her Anne_—flashed her a nervous smile, before going back to frowning down at her tiny pad of paper.  “If you’re actually that hungry, I’d grab the big country breakfast.  Two strips of bacon, two sausages, hash browns, a biscuit, and a whole mess of eggs.”  She glanced up to check Faith’s reaction, but Faith hadn’t stopped grinning at the girl.  Fun and flirty was the way she had decided to play this, and the fact that the blonde was a stone cold fox, even in that silly outfit, meant that Faith didn’t even really have to put on an act.

 “Yeah, that sounds killer.  What’s a girl gotta do to get a couple extra slices of bacon on the side?”

“Wow, you weren’t kidding about being able to eat a horse, huh?” Anne asked, and Faith could tell it was on impulse when she caught the briefest flash of an emotion on the girl’s face before she shifted back into her whole quiet stoicism schtick.   The way her eyebrows and nose had crinkled just a little had been beyond adorable.

“Hell yeah, Blondie.  I know what you’re thinking, mega hottie like me must not eat much, what with this bangin’ bod and all.  But I got a feisty metabolism, ya feel?  Keep myself pretty active, too.”  She winked but couldn’t quite tell if the girl noticed.  “Don’t you worry about me, I know what I’m getting myself into here.” 

Blondie nodded, making a note before turning on a dime.  She added softly, “I’ll grab you that coffee,” as she walked away.  Faith wasn’t used to having her charms fall on deaf ears like this.  _Blondie **really** doesn’t like interacting with people._   That seemed pretty damn odd for someone working a service job, since that’s basically all she did all day.  Maybe she didn’t have any other options.  Questions continued to pile up.

There was definitely something off about this girl, but Faith wasn’t getting demon vibes.  Or any kinda dangerous vibes.  But that didn’t mean anything.  People were rarely what they seemed.

When Blondie came back with her coffee, Faith grabbed her wrist before she could walk off again.  That caught the blonde’s attention, and her whole body tensed as if preparing to physically break the contact.  Then she visibly forced herself to relax, but her eyes were firmly fixed on Faith now.  She could see a fire in those deep green orbs, which was something that this Anne was clearly trying to keep hidden. 

Faith quickly released her wrist.  “Hey hey, sorry ‘bout that.  Not trying to get personal or anything.  It’s just that I’m new in town and looking to see some sights, have some fun, ya know?  You live around here?  Know any fun hangs?”  She didn’t exactly know how to go digging for information—she was a Slayer, not a spy—but she figured this was as good a start as any.

Blondie softened just a little after Faith let go of her and apologized.  Faith wondered how much harassment she got in a job like this, and she bristled a little at the thought.  _Men are the fucking worst_.  Faith decided then and there she could never be a waitress.  She’d probably break some pervy dude’s wrist the first day.

“Uhh, I’m not exactly much with the fun having, really.  Kinda keep to myself.  Work and home, that’s about it.”  There was a flash of a wistful, almost sorrowful look that was just as quickly buried beneath her skittish closed-off disguise again.  “Sorry I can’t really help.”

“Hey yeah, no prob.  Sounds like a boring existence is all.  Hot chicks like you and me should be out and about, getting our jollies on while we’re still young, yeah?  We could totally hang, do some exploring together if ya like.”  Anne’s eyes flitted around nervously, her brow furrowing in suspicion.

“Uhh, sorry, but no thanks.  I mean, you seem nice enough—”

“I can be, unless you’re looking for a different sorta vibe.  I’m a girl of **_many_** talents.”  Faith turned on the charm even further, if only to get a read on the girl.  So far it was like flirting with a brick wall.

Blondie blushed, taking a small step back.  Her whole body radiated nervous energy, and Faith finally felt like she was getting a real response.  The blonde shot her a quick, but authentic, smile, then responded, “Wow, you’re a charmer huh?”  Faith shrugged, maintaining her confident grin.  “Well, don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but I’m just not really looking to make friends right now.  I just … I don’t know, I just need to be alone right now.”

That feeling of wishing she could hug this girl bloomed in Faith’s chest again, catching her completely off guard.  _What’s with the sappy, dude?_ she asked herself sardonically.  Faith locked eyes with the girl.  “Hey, believe me, I get that.  Been there myself.  Still, maybe I’ll drop by for a meal again sometime soon, see if you’ve changed your mind?”

Blondie pursed her lips, clearly thinking about her response.  “Yeah, maybe.”  Then she smiled again, before turning to leave.  And wow, that smile could make a girl get all week at the knees.

It wasn’t long before Blondie brought her the food, and Faith let her retreat from the table without any additional hassle this time.  Apparently, that earned her a smile, then a brief glance back as Blondie walked away, and Faith got a whole warm, tingly feeling all of the sudden.

As Faith was chowing down, a tall blonde chick with terrible bangs walked in and made a beeline for Blondie.  Faith was chomping on a crunchy piece of bacon, so she missed the first thing the girl said, but Faith was careful to listen in on the rest.  There was a slight familiarity in the way the tall one addressed the so-called Anne, and she was buzzing with a worried kinda energy.

“This really isn’t a good time; can it wait?” Anne muttered, keeping her attention on the sugar containers she was refilling.

“Rickie's gone.  I haven't seen him for more than a day.  I… he's never left for that long.  I think something's … happened.  **_Maybe_** something's happened.”  What’s this Ricky person mean to Blondie?  If she’s the loner type she paints herself as, why is Bangs coming to her for help?

Anne answered without looking up.  “Did you call the police?”  Bangs sighed before explaining that this Rickie guy skipped out on his parole.  Anne seemed to get a little put off by that news, and snapped, “I don't know, did you, did you ask around?”

Bangs was really bad at taking a hint.  “Can you help me?”  Anne immediately responded that she couldn’t, trying to walk away from the conversation but still keeping her eyes down.  Bangs just followed her.

“But … but that's who you are and stuff, right?  I mean, you help people, and, you know—”

This time Anne did look at the taller girl, if only for a second.  “I can't get into this. I'm sorry, Lily.”  So, Anne was some sort of a helper type, or at least, she **_had_** been.  Before this whole loner act.

Bangs— ** _Lily_** —looked around, almost in desperation, before trying again.  “You, you know how to do stuff.”  _Stuff, huh?_

“I don't.”  Anne took a breath that almost looked pained in a way.  “Not anymore.”

“But … I don't know what to do.”  Finally, Anne stopped what she was doing and actually met the taller girl’s gaze.  They stood there for a good fifteen seconds or so before Anne came to some sort of decision.

“Fine.  Look, my shift is over at three.”

“I can meet you then,” Lily was quick to respond, clearly feeling hopeful all of the sudden.

“Fine, just … you can follow me back to my place so I can change, then we’ll see what we can do.  Think about the usual places where Ricky might hang.  I’ll see you later, okay?”  Anne’s voice made it abundantly clear that she was done with the conversation.  Lily smiled brightly, offered a cheery thanks, and then left.

The exchange had given her a bit more information at least.  And now Faith had a timeline for where this Anne would be for the rest of the day, so she didn’t have to keep following her around everywhere.  Faith was quick about finishing up her meal, and Anne didn’t say anything else to her except to tell her that she could pay at the counter.  She made sure to leave Blondie a big tip, along with a quickly jotted ‘Thanks, B” on a napkin, drawing a heart beside the note on impulse.

~~~~

Faith didn’t make it back to Blondie’s apartment until after dark.  She had found her car, moved it closer to the part of town where Blondie lived, then set about looking around for some fun.  She tracked down a liquor store, but otherwise didn’t really find anything of note.  Unfortunately, she also got a little turned around and missed her opportunity to jump on the trail of Blondie and Lily around 3:00.  She elected instead to go grab some dinner, before grabbing a book out of her car and heading back to the roof across the street from Blondie’s place.

As she posted up there, she allowed her mind to wander, unable to focus on the book in her hands.  By now, she had finally left the fear behind—mostly.  Everything she left behind in Boston---well, it was behind her.  She was pretty sure of that.  Faith had cut a random path across the entire country the past two months.  She’d seen a bunch of different sights, towns, and cities.  Met different sorts of folks.  Partied it up everywhere, from big city nightclubs to small town dyke bars, even hitting a couple of house parties when she’d hit it off with someone.  Once in Kansas City, and once in some town an hour west of Phoenix.

Part of her hated herself for being such a coward.  But what else could she have done?  Some part of her—the angry, violent part—burned for revenge.  And she knew that she owed Diana that much.  But the other part of her—the desperate, staying alive at any cost survivor part—knew that she did what she had to do.  She got the fuck outta Dodge and didn’t look back until there was a whole continent between her and the Big Bad that wanted her dead.

Faith could feel her chest tightening, and she appreciated that she was out in the open, under the wide open night sky.  _Fucking bad idea to dwell on this shit._   She glanced down at the street.  There wasn’t much happening.  Couple of hopeless guys, but not a lot of traffic here, foot or otherwise.  Then the tall girl with the bangs tore outta Blondie’s building in a hurry.  Lily looked beyond upset, and Faith guessed maybe she and Anne had found Rickie’s body.  _How long had she been there?  Was I so lost in thought that I missed her and Blondie show up?_  

Again Faith found herself getting fed up with the slow and patient approach.  Setting the book down on the ground, up against the ledge of the roof, she stretched thoroughly, trying to work all the tension out of her stiff body.    Without a second glance back at the building, Faith made her way over to the fire escape and back down to the street.  She figured she’d go door to door until she found this girl’s apartment and then she’d confront her.  She’d much rather have been invited, but she had been in LA for three days now and hadn’t done much at all other than stalk this Anne.  She was beginning to feel like a creeper, and maybe it was time to be done with this.  Either she was a supernatural threat or she wasn’t.  If she was, Faith would end her with the large knife in her bag, and if not, she was sure that Blondie would be sufficiently creeped out by Faith’s spying that she’d tell the brunette to get the fuck away from her.  Either way, Faith could move on to the next thing.

Except that just then, Blondie walked out of the building.  Faith ducked back against the wall, hiding in the shadows of the alley.  The girl had her hair down now, and she was wearing sweats and a zip-up hoodie.  It was a much better look for her.  Plus, she had this look of purpose about her, and it was a starkly different picture than the small, timid girl she had pretended to be the night before.  Blondie looked powerful and yeah, maybe a little dangerous.  It was pretty hot, and Faith found herself hoping that she didn’t turn out to be some sort of evil demon pretending to be a troubled blonde girl.  _Even then, Blondie don’t want any friends, remember?  Don’t get your hopes up, dummy._

She followed, keeping up with the blonde’s brisk pace fairly easily thanks to her Slayer stamina, but she was cautious.  Her heart was in her throat the whole time.  Blondie had seen her face, and Faith was sure she had made an impression.  So, it was a good idea not to get noticed.  Fortunately, the two of them made their way to a nearby blood bank without Anne ever really giving much thought to whether someone might be following her.  _Maybe there’s a downside to being focused,_ Faith thought wryly.

A feeling of unease began to spread in her gut.  She’d seen Blondie step out into the bright Los Angeles sunlight, but a blood bank is exactly the sort of place an anti-social, isolated vampire might break into late at night.  And the girl had definitely broken in, having the strength to rip the doorknob cleanly out of the door.  Faith pulled the knife from her bag, sliding the holster clip into place on the back of her jeans.  Then she snuck in, slowly edging the door open just enough to slide into the room.  She kept to the shadows, inching along silently as she looked to see what Anne was up to here.

The blonde hadn’t bothered turning on any lights, and she was currently in the middle of the room, rifling through a filing cabinet.  Faith froze as she pulled a file out and turned back towards the door.  Fortunately, Blondie’s eyes were locked firmly on the folder, which she set down a nearby table before turning on the desk lamp there.  Faith imagined this was as good a time as any to have a confrontation, so before she could second-guess herself, she stepped out of the shadows and cleared her throat dramatically.

“Whatcha got there, B?”

~~~~

Buffy jumped back from the table, shifting immediately into a defensive stance as her eyes shot up towards the voice.  Her eyes narrowed, analyzing the situation.  It was the overly friendly brunette from the diner this morning.  _What the hell?  Has she been following me?  And if so, why?  Is she involved in whatever got Rickie killed?_

“Why are you following me?”  Buffy kept her eyes focused on the other girl’s.  Her soft brown eyes were cautious but amused.  They glittered with hidden depths that Buffy couldn’t begin to guess at.  Nothing about her posture screamed threat, not yet at least.

“Wells, I happened to see you take getting hit by a truck in stride, then sprint away like it was nothing.  That gets a girl curious.”  She paused, a slight grin on her lips.  “If we’re trading questions, what’s a girl who is most definitely not a vampire doing breaking into a blood bank at this hour?”

 _Crap, she knows about vampires.  Who **is** this girl?_   Buffy tilted her head slightly to the side, without taking her eyes off the mysterious brunette.  _And why is she calling me B?_   She had done it in that silly note she left with a ( _very nice_ ) tip, too. _Does she know who I am?  Have we met before?_ The girl made an impression—Buffy couldn’t fathom the idea that they would’ve met previously.  She would’ve remembered.  Buffy played into the confused expression she was sure she had written across her features already and shot this girl an exasperated expression.

“Ummm, I’m sorry, did you say **_vampires_**?” Buffy asked, turning up the SoCal valley girl in her voice. 

“Yeah I did,” the girl responded, like it was nothing.  Like everyone just **_knew_** that vampires were a thing.  She looked at Buffy as if she could see through the façade.  Buffy had gotten the same vibe from the girl back at the diner, too.  It had unnerved her at first, but after that, it almost made her feel at ease.  Or at ease as Buffy did these days.  “But go ahead,” the girl added, smirking, “pretend like you have no idea what I’m talking about.”  She took a couple of steps forward, then leaned herself casually against the nearby wall.  Her eyes never left Buffy’s.  “So, seriously, whatcha doin’?”

Buffy shook her head.  Something about this girl just put her at ease, even now.  She supposed she should be creeped out by being tracked like this, but actually she was kinda impressed.  The girl had skills, and she didn’t look much older than Buffy herself.  A thought struck Buffy.  _Young girl, skilled tracker, knows about vampires.  Kendra died a few months ago.  Could she be the next Slayer?_   Buffy pursed her lips, pondering that.  It’d be a hell of a coincidence running into her like this, randomly while Buffy was on the run in LA.  But her life as a Slayer had been full of random crap like this.  Could be it was destiny.  Which Buffy was **_so_** not looking for right now, even if she had finally given into her instincts and agreed to help Lily.

“That’s none of your business, to be perfectly honest.”  Buffy took a step to her side, keeping the table between them.  “So, questions, right?  My turn.  Did you come here lookin’ for a fight?”

“Well see now, B, that depends on you answering my question.  Way I see it, you’re a bundle of fascinating, confusing questions.  But you survivin’ that truck, that takes some strength.  Some **_power_**.  Me, I got this calling, you might say— _yeah okay, definitely a Slayer_ , “—and if you were planning on using that power for evil shenanigans, then yeah, you and me are gonna have a problem.“

Buffy relaxed, just a little.  _Why do I always end up at odds with the new girl?_   “Look, this banter is a lot of fun, believe me, but maybe we should cut to the chase.  I’m gonna go out on a limb here—you’re a Slayer?”  The brunette’s mouth fell open, her cool girl routine replaced by genuine surprise.

“Fuck me, you’re **_Buffy_** , aren’t you?”

Now it was Buffy’s turn to be surprised.  Kendra hadn’t heard of her when they first met, but this girl knows her name.  And had a mouth on her, apparently.  Buffy sighed.  She should’ve known she couldn’t avoid the Slayer stuff forever.  “Yeah,” she admitted, her voice soft.  “You know my name?”  She felt shy all of the sudden, but she had no clue why that would be the case.  _Am I like … a legend or something?  Has no other Slayer in history come back to life?_

“Hell yeah I do, B!”  Faith paused, grinning.  “I **_knew_** you weren’t an Anne!  Look at me, getting the letter right and everything.”

“So, you didn’t know who I was when you came into Helen’s this morning?”

“Nah,” the brunette assured her, “I was just following my instincts, trying to figure out your deal.  I knew Anne felt wrong, so I was callin’ you Blondie in my head.  So that’s how I got to B, right?”  She stepped forward excitedly, and this time Buffy didn’t move away from her.  She hopped onto the table and leaned in towards Buffy.  “You saved that guy, and you didn’t ring any alarm bells with the Slayer sense.  Then you walked out into the sun and all, so I knew you weren’t a vamp.  For the record, I did think for a second that you could be **_her_** , the other Slayer, but you’re supposed to be Miss Valley Girl or whatever in some small town, right?  Didn’t expect you being all mopey and lonesome in the big city.”

Buffy’s face dropped a little, and the girl looked like she immediately regretted the phrasing.  “Hell, I didn’t mean it like that!  Sorry!” she apologized.  “I’m Faith.  Been doing the Slayer thing for a few months now.  Maybe we’ll get into sad backstory’s later, braid each other’s hair while we’re at it, but for now, what are you working on?  And how can I help?”

She **_definitely_** didn’t want to go anywhere near her own tragic backstory; after all, she had come here to get away from sending Angel to hell, slaying, the Scoobies, Mom, **_everything_**.  So, she jumped on the girl— ** _Faith’s_** question.  She moved closer, and as she reached for the file, her hand brushed against Faith’s very firm, but soft, thigh.  Buffy’s eyes grew wide, but she recovered quickly, opening the folder and flipping through to find Rickie’s paperwork.  She could **_feel_** the other girl’s grinning eyes burning into the back of her head, but thankfully, she didn’t say anything.

“So this guy, Rickie, had gone missing, and then tonight I found a body.  **_His_** body, but he was like 80 or whatever.”

“Guessing he wasn’t 80 before?” Faith asked.

“More like 20,” Buffy confirmed.  “But it was definitely him.  So, clearly some supernatural evil going on.  And earlier, I was in here with Rickie’s girlfriend Lily, because they like to give blood together or something.”

“Ah, young love.  Makes you do such weird things,” Faith said, her tone odd in a way that Buffy couldn’t place.

“Yeah, I guess.”  Buffy wasn’t touching the love topic with a ten—no, **_100_** —foot pole.  “Anyways, the lady here, who knew Rickie and Lily, gave me the total wiggins, in that Slayer way.  So, I figured I would come back.”  She glanced up at Faith, who seemed to be following just fine.  “And then look here at his file.  Says he is a candidate, but a candidate for what?”

They were both startled by a noise from behind Buffy.  _Speak of the devil._   “What are you doing?” the lab-coat wearing woman asked.  Her tone was threatening.

“Breaking into your office and going through your private files,” Buffy answered drolly, refusing to look back at the woman.  She did steal a glance towards Faith, who grinned playfully at her.  “Candidate for what?”

The woman ( _a nurse maybe?)_ responded with a threat to call the police.  To which Faith responded by emphatically ripping the phone out of the wall.  “Ain’t happenin’ Nurse Ratchet.”  Buffy grinned, but tried to hide it as soon as she realized she was doing it.  She kept her eyes on the file, flipping through some of the pages.

“Now, you’ve got a whole bunch of candidates here.  I wonder if any of them are missing like Rickie.”  Buffy turned to face the nurse.  “ ** _Gosh_** , I bet they are.”  She put a hand on her hip, and did her best not to flinch at all when she accidentally bumped against Faith again as she did it.

The nurse was unmoved.  “You’re getting yourself in a lot of trouble.”

Buffy felt herself shifting subtly into Slayer mode, her anger and frustration bubbling up.  “I don’t want any trouble.  I just want to be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy.”  _Tea cozy?_   Sometimes she just said things—words sorta flowed out of her when she got into full quipping mode.  “I don’t even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one.  Instead, I keep getting trouble—” she glanced sideways at Faith, though not exactly intentionally, “—which I am **_more_** than willing to share.”  She fixed her sternest Slayer glare on the nurse.  “What are you doing with these kids?”

Nurse Ratchet ( _dammit, Faith!_ ) answered calmly, “Nothing.  I just … I give **_him_** the names of the healthy ones.”

“Who’s **_him_**?” Faith chimed in.  The nurse finally looked uneasy.  She glanced back and forth, as if calculating her chances at making a run for it.  “Look, lady, don’t even think about it.  **_Trust_** me, you don’t wanna cross us.  Give us a name, and we’ll be five by five.  But hold out on us, and I’m not sure what my friend here might do.”

 _Good cop, bad cop?_   Buffy hadn’t expected this, but she was kinda into it.  She’d never had this kind of dynamic with Kendra.  The girl had been nice enough, but never quite got the stick out of her butt.  Being raised by a Watcher sounded like a special kind of nightmare, if you asked Buffy.  But here was Faith, just rolling in here, and not five minutes later, they’ve already got a dynamic or whatever.  It was interesting.

Nurse Ratchet caved.  “His name is Ken.  I don’t know his last name, but he runs a shelter nearby.  One of those vaguely religious things.”

“I know who you’re talking about,” Buffy cut her off.  Ken was the guy she had run into last night.  He’d set off all kinds of creepy alarm bells for Buffy, but she had ignored them.  She was trying to lay low and stay away from the creepy.  And now someone had died because of that choice.  Buffy felt a sharp pang of guilt and frustration in her chest.  _That’s the thing about destiny, I guess.  You can’t escape it.  Ever._

Buffy turned to leave, without another word.  Faith got off a quick, “You’re gonna wanna forget you saw us here, lady.  It’s for your own good, believe me,” before hurrying after Buffy.  She guessed she had a partner now, at least for tonight.

“That was fun, B.  Now, where are we gonna find this Ken and which one of us gets to kick his ass?”

~~~~

Faith certainly didn’t lack for spunk.  _No, spunk was the wrong word.  Energy?  Enthusiasm?_ They had sprinted back to Buffy’s apartment, where she still had the flier Ken gave her.  It was … exhilarating.  She was glad she had worn some sensible shoes, but it was incredible to go at full speed and have Faith able to keep up with her.  When they made it to the center, Buffy wasn’t even tired.  She felt energized, and she could tell Faith was feeling it too.  Maybe this was what she needed to get back into her life as a Slayer.  A partner.  Maybe even a friend.  At least, someone who might actually be able to understand all the crap she was going through.

This the place, huh?”

“Yuup, this would be it.”  Buffy caught Faith’s eyes.  “So, you’re a hell of a runner.  How are your acting skills?”

Faith looked at her curiously.  “Uhhh, that wasn’t exactly part of my Watcher-approved curriculum, B.”

Buffy nodded.  “Cool.  Not really mine either, but let’s try stealth, at least at first.  Follow my lead?”  Faith gestured with her hand, motioning for Buffy to lead on.  “Great!  So uh, so far we don’t know whether they’re human or not.  Just err on the side of not killing them, okay?  At least until you see horns or yellow eyes or whatever.”  Faith agreed, and they entered the building, following a grimy looking hallway down to the end.  There there was a big ‘Welcome’ sign over the door to the left.  Buffy pointed at the wall next to the door, silently directing Faith to hide against it.  She winked, which threw Buffy off for a hot second, then took her place against the door, out of sight from those inside.

Buffy knocked, and a dark-haired man in the ugliest polo and sweater vest combo answered the door, looking at her expectantly.  She smiled brightly at the man, trying to play the part of repentant sinner girl.  “Hi!  I uhhh… you see, this guy, Ken.  Well, I ran into him, and he told me about this place.  Gave me a flier and everything, told me I should come check it out if I needed hope.”  She glanced sideways at Faith again, just for a second.  The brunette gave her a goofy thumbs up, and Buffy had to work not to smile.  _What is up with this girl?_

“You know, I just … I woke up, and I looked in the mirror, and I thought, ‘hey, what's with all the sin?  I need to change.  I'm—‘” Buffy made a face, “’—I'm dirty.  I'm, I'm bad with the ... sex and the **_envy_** and that … that loud music us kids listen to nowadays.  W—'”  _Crap, this guy isn’t buying any of this._   She looked at Faith again and shrugged.  “Oh, I just **_suck_** at undercover.  Where's Ken?”  The guy tried to close the door on her, and she responded by calmly kicking the door in, the strength of it sending the guy flying backwards.  She entered, with Faith hot on her heels. 

Buffy knocked out the guy on the floor with a blow to the head, while Faith handled the guy who had come up behind him.  Beyond the foyer, there was another hallway, this one with several doors down it’s length.  But Buffy was sure their destination was at the end of the hallway.  “I’m guessing it’s the big scary black door all the way down, what do you think?”

“Seems like a good guess to me, B.  Ladies first.”  Buffy gave her a confused look, but she couldn’t keep the slight grin off her face.  Then she remembered why they were here, and she booked it the rest of the way down the hall before kicking that door in too.  Ken was inside, and he immediately faced them with a slight look of frustration on his otherwise disturbingly cheery face.  Behind him, however, was Lily, kneeling in front of a small rectangular pool of some sort, filled with a dark, oozy liquid.  Not a good sign.

“This is a private moment,” Ken insisted, as if they didn’t know some weirdo demonic ritual was going on behind him.  “If you could just—”

Buffy cut him off.  “How do you make 'em old, Ken?  Do you feed on youth?  What's the deal?”

He raised an eyebrow.  “Do you really wanna know?”  _That’s a good question, actually._

Just then, Lily looked back at them, her upper body still bent over the surface of the … **_goo_**.  “What's going on?” she asked, a little fearfully.  Then she shrieked as something in the goo reached out and yanked her in.

She and Faith both reacted immediately.  Faith ran at Ken, knife drawn, shouting at Buffy, “I got creepy Ken over here; you grab the girl, B.”  Buffy didn’t have to be told twice.  In fact, her first instinct had been to leap after Lily anyway.  The goo felt like it was pressing down on her from all sides, like gravity was stronger inside of it or something, and it writhed against her in a way that gave her all the willies.  She didn’t feel like she was falling, but rather being pushed forward, and after several highly uncomfortable seconds, she was dropped painfully onto the concrete floor, maybe ten feet below where the goo stopped.

Buffy caught sight of Lily being dragged around the corner by … **_something_**.  She shook her head, trying to catch the breath that was knocked out of her in the fall.  Then she pressed herself up to her feet and took off after Lilly.  She turned one corner, then another.  In front of her, the room opened up dramatically, and she skidded to a sudden stop at the horror in front of her.  She was on a balcony over a massive concrete warehouse, but one that featured multiple vats of what she could’ve sworn was molten lava or molten … something.  It was hot and yellow and fiery was all Buffy could say for sure.  Everywhere she looked there were these yellow-skinned demon guys in what looked horrifyingly close to Nazi uniforms, carrying whips and herding around hordes of human workers dressed in burlap sacks.  She was surrounded by the clanking sounds of metal work and hard labor.  The warehouse was dimly lit by large torches and a few spotlights.  She couldn’t tell if she was still on Earth, but she had the sinking feeling she had found herself in some sort of hell dimension.

She was so horrified that she didn’t hear the guards coming up behind her.  Just as she noticed the footsteps immediately behind her, she felt a sharp pain in the back of her head, and everything went dark.

When she woke up, her head still groggy and painful, she was in a large … pen was really the only word for it, with maybe twenty other people.  They were all in their late teens or early twenties, by the looks of it.  In front of the group was a large demon with a **_very_** disturbing face situation.  It was like the head of a deci…, decik…, of a **_very_** dried out, gross, shriveled up corpse, but without any lips.  Just exposed gums and dirty teeth.  But then there were like two yellow fleshy patches over the top of his head, separated in the middle but sewn unevenly together.  He didn’t seem to have any eyes, just empty holes where they should be.  Just as she was coming to, he started with the evil villain speechifying as he continued to pace.

“Welcome to the rest of your lives.  This is your new reality.  You work, and you live.  That is all.”  His voice had the cadence of a drill sergeant, but without any of the energy.  She stood, to match the stance of those around her.  Then she pushed her hair back out of her face, and as her head continued to clear, she realized they hadn’t bothered to bind her arms or chain her up at all.  _Oh right, cuz they don’t know I’m the Slayer.  Well, they’re about to find out._   She looked around, and she found Lily a few people over.

Mr. Nasty Face droned on.  “You do not complain or laugh or do **_anything_** besides work.  Whatever you thought, whatever you were, does not matter.  You are no one now.  You mean **_nothing_**.”  He stopped in front of a boy a few people to Buffy’s left, with long, dark hair.  “Who are you?”  _Oh god, don’t take the bait,_ she thought, hoping the boy had more sense than that.

He didn’t.  “Aaron?” he answered, voice quavering in fear and confusion.  Mr. Nasty Face slammed his club down on the boy’s head, leaving him bloody and unconscious on the floor.  Then he paced a few spots over to Lily.  The girl looked way out of it.

“Who are you?”  She avoided his gaze, if he could be said to have one, keeping her eyes firmly on the floor.

“No one,” she squeaked, trying to keep herself from hyperventilating.  The demon moved to another boy, who gave the same response as Lily.  And then, just her luck, he came to a stop in front of Buffy.

He looked at her, and Buffy was sure now that even without actual eyeballs, he could definitely see her.  “Who are you?” came the repeated question.

She smiled as she answered cheerfully, “I’m Buffy.  The Vampire Slayer.  And you are?”  She asked it with all the mocking friendliness she could muster, as if she was introducing herself to a cute boy instead of a horrifying faceless demon thing.  This time, he was the one to take the bait, as he immediately lifted his arm to bring his club down on her.  But she was way too fast for him.

Buffy grabbed his arm before he could swing the club, sidestepping to use the momentum of his swing to force him down to his knees.  She held his arm tight, however, before bringing her own down to snap it at the elbow.  Then she had his club in hand and made quick work of the three remaining guards, clubbing them into unconsciousness or death.  She didn’t care to find out which.  She turned to the other would-be slaves.  “Anyone who’s not having fun here, follow me.”

She turned and took off down a nearby hallway, unsure of exactly which way she had been brought in, what with the painful unconsciousness and what not.  _Who am I, Giles?_   As she found her way back to the large open warehouse area, she put her hands out to stop the prisoners following her.  There would be guards, and they needed to be careful.  Plus, she had to rescue as many people as she could. 

Try as hard as she might, she **_was_** the Slayer.  She could never escape her destiny, and it had been stupid to try.  Even if it had been nice to get away from everything and just wallow in her misery.  She saw now what actual misery looked like, and it really put things into perspective.  _Killing your boyfriend sucks, but it’s nothing compared to a lifetime of slavery in a demon Nazi labor camp._ She still hadn’t figured out what exactly Ken had done to Ricky, but now wasn’t the time to ponder that particular mystery.

Buffy peered around the corner carefully.  To their immediate right was a staircase, leading back up to the balcony where she had started.  She was pretty sure that was the same balcony, anyway.  She turned to Lily next to her, whispering, “There’s no way we’re getting back up their without meeting more guards.  When I give you the signal, I want you to lead these people up the stairs to our right and back out to the portal.  Fast and **_quiet_**.  I’ll be the distraction and see if I can free some more of these people.”

Lily seemed taken aback.  “You’re leaving me?  I—”

“Lily, you can handle this,” Buffy assured her, trying not to get exasperated at the girl, for the fifth time today.  “Cuz I say so.”  But because Buffy never got lucky, not even once in her entire Slayer career, it was at that exact moment that a blaring siren began to wail.  Buffy cursed silently.  “We’ve gone public,” she shouted at the group, then turned back to Lily.  “Okay, quick, get them up.  Go!  And be quiet!”

The prisoners began to move towards the staircase, but Lily hesitated.  “I’m sorry I said this was your fault before.”  Buffy’s eyes went wide.  _Is she fucking serious right now?_ “Lily this can wait!”

“Well, in case we die—”

“Go!”  Buffy shoved her, barely constraining her Slayer strength.  “Go!”  Then Buffy took off into the warehouse.  Immediately, two guards were hot on her tail.  As she ran, she shouted at the workers, “We’re making a break for it!  Everybody run!  Get out of here!”  Buffy spun around a pole to deliver a kick to the head of one of the guards following her, then continued to sprint.  Some of the slaves looked at her, but none were even trying to run.  _Really?  I guess they **have** lost all hope._   She couldn’t just leave them.

She pulled herself up onto a large raised platform, where she would have the high ground.  Tactics 101.  Giles would be so proud.  The second guard was on her in an instant, with a large mallet in hand.  He knocked her to the ground, but she blocked his blow and flipped him over her body.  As she did that, she pulled the mallet from his grip in one fluid motion, leaping to her feet and swinging it across his face as he moved to get up.  He fell, completely still, to the ground below. 

Buffy checked the balcony, and Lily’s group were making their way out.  She gestured wildly to the remaining slaves on the warehouse floor.  ”Come on guys!  This is the only chance you’re going to get!  I don’t know if I can take them all, but I promise, the world is still out there.  You can still make a life for yourself!”  Her words were finally getting through to some of them, who threw down their tools and began to make for the exits.  They were immediately slapped down by guards, so Buffy taunted them.  “Hey, big uglies, why don’t you pick on someone your own size!”  She winced.  “So to speak.  Unless you’re scared!”

It worked, and no fewer than seven guards began to make their way towards her.  She took out one with a roundhouse kick that sent him flying, then blocked the attack of another, knocking his club out of his hand before bringing the mallet up in a powerful uppercut that snapped his head back and flung him off the platform.  Another guard grabbed her around the shoulders, and she had to struggle with him, eventually getting an elbow into his jaw.  That created enough space that she could sweep his legs, causing him to fall backwards.  Two more were felled as they ran face first into a wild swing of her mallet.  She grabbed the next one and tossed him up with all her strength, slamming him into a low hanging concrete corner nearby. 

She turned just in time to narrowly sidestep the slash of an ax, and the momentum of the guard carried him past her.  She caught her breath, readying herself for his next attack.  She ducked under the swing, then brought the mallet up longways to catch the downward arc of his next swing on the mallet’s long handle.  Then she kicked as high as she could, catching the ax on the base of its handle and sending it spinning into the air.  Dropping into a crouch, she swung the mallet at his shins, knocking him off his feet so that she would have time to catch the ax.  She followed that up by kicking him forcefully under his chin, sending him flying off the platform.

As she stood, she realized there were no more immediate challengers, and the room was noticeably much less full of people in burlap sacks.  She looked down at the curved blade of the battle ax in her hand, and a stray thought almost made her laugh.  The ax and mallet combo she was double wielding looked very much like the whole hammer and sickle motif they had in communist Russia or whatever.  Smirking, she issued a challenge to the remaining guards.  “Alright **_comrades_** , come and get it!”

And they did.  This time, they challenged her two or three at a time, and Buffy went into full Slayer mode.  She never stopped moving, just a constant flurry of slicing ax, bashing mallet, and spinning kicks to the head for everyone.  A couple of times a guard or two managed to grab hold of her, but she found ways to break out of it, often using one guard’s action or momentum against another.  Somewhere along the way, she lost the mallet, but she was really enjoying this ax.  It was **_very_** sharp, and she didn’t get much resistance, even though these guys felt like they had pretty crusty skin. 

It looked like everyone who was going to escape had done so, and Buffy made the decision to cut her losses and make a run for it.  She did a front flip off the platform, catching sight of a nearby chain that she could climb up to the balcony.  Except there was Mr. Nasty Face again, trying to block her path.  One arm hung limp and useless by his side, but the other held a very large mace.  Her immediate reaction was to snark at him, but the other guards were hot on her tail.  _No time._   Instead, she tossed the ax in front of her.  It’s spin was almost pretty, and then it lodged itself deep in Mr. Nasty Face’s skull.  She yanked it free as she ran past his dead body, then leapt onto the chain, scaling the wall as quickly as she could with one hand still firmly hefting the ax.  The remaining guards either couldn’t or wouldn’t follow her up the chain, and she didn’t look back to see if they tried the stairs instead.

Buffy ran at a full sprint through the back hallway, around the two corners and into the room where she had first fallen out of the goo.  She shuddered as she remembered the sensation of crossing through that portal, but it wasn’t like there was a pleasant yellow-brick tunnel option instead.  She hefted herself up the two large metal containers the escapees had pushed together so they could reach the oozy portal in the ceiling and leapt up into it.  She had the same unpleasant sensation, the sickening writhing goo pressing all around her, until suddenly her hands were met with cool air, then hard stone.  Tossing the ax forward before grabbing onto the lip of the pool, she pulled herself forcefully out of the goo. 

Above, Lily and Faith were waiting for her.  Faith had Ken up against the wall, demon face exposed.  Looked like she had been beating him pretty viciously, and she currently had a knife at his throat.  “ ** _Nice_** ax you got there, B.”  Buffy grinned at the other Slayer, the energy still pulsing through her with the rhythm of her heartbeat. 

“I know, right?  Killed a bunch of demon Nazis with it.”

“Damn, I missed out on all the fun.  But you were only down there for like thirty seconds.”  Buffy gaped.  She was sure it had been at least an hour, maybe longer depending on how long she had been passed out. 

“No way, I was down there way longer.”  They both looked at Ken in confusion, and Faith twitched like she was about to punch him again.

He winced, then explained.  “Oh, did I not mention that?  Down there, a hundred years can pass and up here, it’ll have only been a day.”  _So that explained Rickie._

“So you just work us till we’re old and spit us back out?”  Buffy was beyond pissed at this point.  Ken was so going to die.

“That's the plan.  Folks like Lily over here die of old age before anyone wonders where they went.  Not that anyone would, that's why we chose them.”  Ken grimaced.  “Though it looks like you’ve really made a mess of things now.”

“Yeah well, maybe you should check to be sure a person isn’t the Slayer before you go trying to enslave them in some freaky hellhole of a labor camp,” Buffy sneered.  “Now how do we close it?”

“I was just getting to that part, B.  Go ahead, Ken, tell us.  And no lies, or I go back to whaling on your face.”

“There’s a panel on the far wall.  Hit it and the portal freezes over.”  Faith shot him a threatening look.  “Shatter it after that, and it’s closed forever.  I promise.”  Buffy stepped over to the panel warily and gave it a firm once-over before pushing down on it.  Instantly, icy blocks began to form over the goo, hardening into a flat sheet of dark ice.  She drove the haft of her new ax down against it, and the whole thing shattered, leaving behind only a shallow indentation in the floor, filled with quickly dissolving chucks of ice. 

“Hey look at that, Kenny boy was telling the truth.”

“Good for him,” Faith quipped, then stabbed him through the throat.  Ken died quickly, and Faith met her on the other side of the pool.  “You got to kill a buncha demon Nazis, I figured it was only fair I got to take out that creep.  We square?”

“You bet,” Buffy confirmed.  The suddenness and viciousness with which Faith had ended Ken caught her off guard, but she didn’t have any regrets about the no more Ken situation.  “Let’s get out of here.  It’s late, you can crash at my place.”

~~~~

Faith met her outside.  Buffy had a bag in each hand, plus her backpack.  Her LA life neatly packed up, with Lily—now Anne—all set to take over the life she had made for herself here.  The other Slayer eyed her up and down.

“You’re really gonna do it, huh?  Leave the big city behind and head back to uh…”

“Sunnydale,” Buffy clarified.  “Yeah.  That’s me.  That’s … home, I mean.  It’s where I belong.  Hellmouth and all.  Speaking of …”  She looked at Faith shyly, not sure how the brunette would react to Buffy’s proposition.  “You know, two Slayers are better than one.  I think we just proved that.  It’d be pretty great if you wanted to come with.  I mean … if you’re not busy here.  We never really got around to why you were here in the first place.”

“Easy there, B.  We just met, and you’re already trying to bring me home to mama?  Slow it down with the U-haul.”  Buffy had not a single clue what that meant, but Faith’s tone was playful and joking so she just laughed nervously. 

“Is that a … no?  Look, Faith, I get it.  I don’t wanna like cramp your style or whatever.  But we had fun, right?”  Faith’s face broke into a wide grin.

“Oh **_hell_** yeah we did.  No doubt about that.  Just not sure I’m finished with the big city yet.  Boston girl like me, gotta get a little more of a feel for this whole West Coast scene.  But we should definitely hook up again soon.”  Buffy could tell there was more to it than that; Faith was being careful not to give too much away.  For someone so seemingly wild and free, the brunette had a withdrawn hideyness about her.  But that was just all the more reason to get to know her better—Buffy just hoped for Faith’s sake that her baggage wasn’t nearly as traumatic as Buffy’s.  Then, shyly, the other Slayer added, “I had always planned on finding my way to you eventually.”

That was another surprise.  It seemed like Faith was full of them.  “Really?” Buffy cooed, grinning.  “Just jonesing for a good team up?”

“Hah.  Something like that.  Just uh … not ready to talk about it yet, ya know?”  Buffy nodded understandingly. 

“Alright, well—” Buffy set down both of her bags, then reached around to pull a notepad and a pen from her backpack.  “Let me give you my home phone number.  You can give me a call when you’re in the mood for a good old fashioned college town of the demon-infested variety.  We’ve got twelve different cemeteries!”  She wrote down her number and ripped out the paper, handing it to Faith.  There was a look of something in the girl’s eyes that Buffy couldn’t quite place.  If she was a boy, Buffy would’ve sworn it was something like desire.  But that was **_definitely_** crazy talk.  “Anyway, me and my mom, we’ve got a guest room in our house, and you’re welcome to it.  Just say the word.  I hope you will.”

“Damn B, you sure know how to make a girl feel wanted.” She grabbed one of Buffy’s bags.  “I’ll hang around here for a bit longer, then I promise, I’ll take you up on that offer.  Better be sure you clear it with your moms before you go offering room and board, though.”  Buffy felt a little guilty.  She didn’t even know if she was welcome in that house, much less with a permanent house guest.  She and Joyce hadn’t exactly parted on good terms.  ‘If you walk out of this house, don’t even think about coming back,’ were her exact words, as Buffy recalled.  “Anyways, we’ll live it up, B.  The demons and that Hellmouth better watch out!  Now, lemme give you a ride to the bus station.”  She started walking.  “My car is right around the corner.”

Buffy smiled softly as she followed the brunette.  She couldn’t really say why, but she had a good feeling about this girl.  Maybe with this new partner, she could finally have a nice, drama-free year of slaying.  Either way, she was finally ready to face all the trauma she’d left behind in Sunnydale.  Or … she would be after the two-hour bus ride.  Hopefully.


	2. No One Gets It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy is back in Sunnydale, but she feels no less lost. It takes a minor zombie apocalypse, and a tense moonlit stroll with Faith before she starts unraveling her issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dead Man's Party

Only two days into her return to Sunnydale, Buffy was already wondering if it was a huge mistake.  It was really starting to feel like everyone had moved on without her, and she didn’t fit into this life anymore.  Maybe that’s what being the Slayer meant, and she’d just been avoiding it for two and a half years.  Maybe she’d been fooling herself to think she could have it all.

“Nothing's settled yet.”  Her mom had just told her that her only option school-wise was some uptight all-girls private school, and now she was trying to convince Buffy that everything didn’t majorly suck.  “I just wish you didn't have to be so secretive about things.  I mean, it's not your fault you have a special circumstance.  They should make allowances for you.”  Joyce’s tone was casual and dismissive.

 _Special circumstances?  What the actual hell?_ “Mom, I’m a Slayer.  It’s not like I have a disability.  I just … fight the forces of evil at night.”

Joyce continued on as if Buffy hadn’t said anything, carrying a full trashbag towards the back door.  “Couldn’t you just tell a few people, like Principal Snyder?”  She paused, thinking.  “And maybe the police?”

Buffy just stared at her, dumbfounded.  Her mom really was clueless about all this.  She guessed it was nice and all that her mom hadn’t been serious about the whole ‘kick my daughter out for doing her duty and saving the world’ thing, but the woman still didn’t **_get_** it.  What’s more was she seemed pretty dead set on ignoring the fact that the first time Buffy told her about being the Slayer, she locked her up in a loony bin.  _But sure Mom, the police and Snyder will just be super understanding and helpful in a way my own parents weren’t.  As if._

Joyce noticed her disbelieving stare and responded, “I mean, I would think they would be happy to have a … a **_superhero_**.”  _Okay seriously, what the hell?_   “Is that the right term?  I mean, it’s not offensive, is it?”  She opened the door to take out the trash, and all of a sudden, Buffy wasn’t so concerned with her mom’s delusional ramblings about allowances for the local superhero.  Because the dead cat Buffy had discovered yesterday in the basement, and subsequently buried in the yard, just ran back into the house with a very creepy yowl.

“Gross!” Buffy exclaimed, even as she was moving to handle the cat.  Being the Slayer was kinda the worst sometimes.  She didn’t quite have the heart to just slay it though, and after all, it had already come back from the dead once.  Who’s to say it wouldn’t do it again?  Instead, she gave chase, her mom following at a distance.  Eventually she cornered the zombie cat in her mom’s bedroom, where it hid under the bed.  It seemed content to hide out there, so Buffy told her mom to keep watch over it while she called Giles.

While they waited, Buffy avoided her mom.  She’d had enough mother-daughter time for now.  _God, why does everything have to be so awkward?_   Things had been alright that first night she was back.  She saved the gang from a vampire they were rather hilariously trying to slay themselves, then gone to see Giles.  Buffy had been the most nervous about Giles.  She knew he was going to be disappointed in her.  He probably worried about her too.  She guessed her mom was worried, but she cared less about that given the whole kicking her out thing.  But Giles … he’d supported her through everything last spring.

But he welcomed her into his home immediately.  There was a sadness in his eyes, but he was happy to see her.  They all hung out there for a while, and Giles made tea.  It was a silly English old man thing to do, but Buffy had been surprised to find that she actually really loved it.  Everything had felt close to normal. 

Unfortunately, everything had been awkward and painful ever since.  Snyder refused to let her back into school, and his sneering joy at being able to screw Buffy over had given her the very strong desire to break his nose.  Or worse.  At least Joyce had supported her then.  After that, Willow totally flaked on their hang at the Espresso Pump, and eventually she’d had to walk home alone.  Which turned out to be way painful in and of itself.

As she walked through the town, there were reminders of Angel everywhere.  Places they’d hung out, fought demons, shared a kiss…  She could feel his absence more so much more powerfully here.  It felt like he was everywhere, except that he was actually nowhere.  Well… not nowhere.  Worse than nowhere.  He was probably suffering eternal pain and torment in some awful hell dimension.  Because of her.  Because she did her duty and sacrificed him to save the world.  Being the Slayer really sucked.

She’d managed to get her tears out before she got back home, but she definitely wasn’t in the mood to talk to strangers.  So of course she ran into her mom’s weird friend Pat, just leaving their house.  Pat had been patronizing and full of that obviously fake cheeriness that Buffy hated.  After that came the dead cat and the awkward burying of said cat while her mom tried to get all eulogizey for some reason. 

No one tried to reach out to her that night, not even Giles.  Buffy decided not to patrol, feeling more in a self-pitying hide in bed mood.  Things hadn’t exactly been any better today, and Buffy found herself dreading the dinner party with her mom and the Scoobies tonight.  Joyce had insisted, but Buffy was getting the strong feeling that no one really wanted her back anyway.  School didn’t want her.  Her friends were avoiding her.  Mom was trying, but every interaction with her was so cringeworthy.  She couldn’t understand what Buffy was going through.  And no one seemed to care that, hello, she had driven a sword through the love of her life and sent him to a dimension of eternal torment.  Like they all just figured she should be over it by now.  Buffy didn’t know how she was ever going to be over it.  That’s why she had run away in the first place.

There was a knock at the door, and Buffy sighed in relief.  At least there was some Slayery happenings now to take her mind off everything.  Maybe a full on research sesh could help soothe over things with the Scoobies.  She opened the door to let Giles in and quipped, “Welcome to the Hellmouth Petting Zoo.”    He had a cage in hand, and she led him upstairs, indicated that the cat was under the bed.

“Oh thank god,” Joyce said when Giles walked into her bedroom.  _Ick, why would you phrase it that way?!  Bad thoughts, **bad** thoughts._   Giles set the cage on the bed, then reached under it and pulled the dead cat, still mewling, out by its neck. 

“Oh my god, what a stench!”

“You know, I wanted Forest Pine or April Fresh, but Mom wanted Dead Cat,” Buffy snarked.  Joyce had a look of disgust on her face. 

Giles stood, his own face twisted into a grimace at the sight and smell of the zombie cat.  “I’ll uh … I’ll get it back to the library, see if we can determine its exact origins.”  He picked up the cage and turned to face Joyce, then noticed the wiggy looking mask that she had hung on her wall the night before.  That thing creeped Buffy all the way out.  “This is, uh, striking and … Nigerian?”

Joyce smiled proudly, like a complete weirdo.  “Oh.  Yes!  I-I-I have this wonderful dealer who specializes in ancient artifacts.  I don’t know if you—”

Buffy had had enough.  “You know, I love art talk as much as the next very dull person, but we have work to do Giles.  Research mode.”  She turned and started towards the door, before Giles stopped her with a suggestion that she should stay with her mom.  Joyce, however, was suddenly very insistent that Giles should absolutely take Buffy with him.  _Goody, let’s play hot potato to see who is stuck with the damaged little Slayer no one wants._

“Actually … she can’t.  Um—” He glanced over at Buffy, a look of guilt or maybe just discomfort on his face.  “You’re not allowed on school property.”  Buffy’s mood was already in a big ole smelly dumpster, and so yeah, figures Giles had to go and set the dumpster on fire.  He made a hasty apology and then booked it out of the Summers housed with the dead cat in tow.

Buffy wandered out of her mom’s room without another word, and shortly thereafter Joyce left to go to work at The Gallery.  Buffy decided to go for a walk to try to clear her head.  She felt even more lost than she had in LA.  Her thoughts wandered back to Faith.  The easy-going brunette Slayer had made her feel comfortable in her own skin for the first time since everything went down with Angel.  She found herself wishing the girl was here.  She’d understand the loneliness, and given that she apparently drove from Boston to LA all by herself, without much in the way of goals or a mission, Buffy guessed that she might just understand the feeling of not being wanted also.  They could commiserate together, and at least Buffy wouldn’t feel so alone.

Buffy was sure that she had seen some sadness hidden behind the girl’s overly cool façade.  She’d only been a Slayer for a few months, but Buffy wondered if Faith could empathize with Buffy’s anguish over having had to slay a loved one.  Probably not; sort of a rare situation.  But if there was one person Buffy could talk to about Angel and feel like there was any chance at all they could, you know, **_get it_** , Buffy wondered if that person wouldn’t be the other Slayer.

Her mind wandered to her dream last night.  She had talked briefly with Angel on the deserted Sunnydale High campus, their exchange all cryptic and nonsensical.  The most unsettling part had been that Angel hadn’t quite seemed himself.  Less broody and more smirky.  Almost like he wasn’t Angel at all, but rather …

She shook off the thought.  The dream was vivid and mysterious, and she was close to sure it was some sort of Slayer dream.  But she had absolutely no desire to talk to Giles about it, not at this point.  She was avoiding conversations about Angel like the plague, especially with Giles.  _My boyfriend killed his girlfriend and tortured him.  Not really a Hallmark card for that._   But maybe she could talk to Faith about it?  She wondered how much work the brunette had put in with her Watcher before whatever had happened to force her out of Boston.  She definitely didn’t seem like a Kendra type of Slayer, who was distinctively of the no-fun-having, study all the time variety.  But maybe she had dreams too.  Maybe they could try to decipher it together, or at the very least, commiserate.

Or maybe she had misread the girl completely, who really knows?  Buffy turned back into her front yard and walked up slowly towards the front door.  It had only been one day really.  Faith struck her as something of a party girl—probably she was living it up hitting the many nightclubs around LA.  Maybe she hadn’t even thought of Buffy at all since she left.

The phone rang, and it startled Buffy out of her reverie.  _Who?_   For a split second, she considered letting her mom answer, but then she remembered Joyce wasn’t home anymore.  Picking up the phone, she felt her lips break out in a wide smile when she was greeted by a somehow already familiar Boston accent. 

“What up, B?  How’s it hangin’?”  _Faith._

“Been better, if I’m being perfectly honest.”  Buffy leaned against the wall, wondering why Faith was calling her.  She ignored the small voice in her head that was already hoping the other Slayer was planning to visit Sunnydale.

“Yikes, suburbia is that bad, huh?  Your pals givin' you a hard time for taking some time for yourself this summer?”  The voice was wry, but with a hint of concern.

Buffy blew out a frustrated breath.  “Them, my mom, my Watcher… heck, I can’t even catch a break with the people at school.  Plus, I had to deal with a zombie house cat this morning.”

“I dunno, B, sounds like you could use some back up.”  Buffy’s heart fluttered, and now she couldn’t get the hopeful voice in her head to shut up.  _Wow, I must be **really** lonely right now._   “LA isn’t all that great turns out.  I was thinking I might check out your Hellmouth soon.”

“Honestly, Faith, that sounds amazing.”  Buffy tried not to sound overly enthusiastic, not wanting to scare the other Slayer off.  “When were you thinking?”

“Maybe the next couple of days?  I’m not super in a rush or nothing, but I wanted to check if that offer of a place to crash was still good?”  Buffy cursed internally.  She hadn’t talked to her mom about it yet, not quite expecting Faith so soon.  Plus, all the awkward.  No biggie, she would just ask before the party tonight.  But she had hesitated a little too long, apparently.  “If not, no biggie ya know?  I can find a motel or something.”  Faith sounded confident as always, but maybe a little disappointed.

“No no no!” Buffy insisted.  “Sorry, weird day and all.  We’re good to go.  Totally.  You’re welcome here whenever, I promise.”  Buffy hoped she sounded sufficiently reassuring.  She wanted Faith here more than she had realized.

“And you cleared it with mommy dearest?”

“Yup!” Buffy lied without any hesitation.  “She’s still being weird about the whole Slayer thing, but she is trying to get it.”  _Maybe._   “Anyways, she’s all about the welcome wagon.”  Then a thought struck her.  “Hey, Faith?”

“Yeah, what’s up?” 

“What if you came, like, right now?”  Silence on the other end of the phone.  Buffy hurriedly continued.  “I just … see, we’re having this like dinner party thing.  And it’ll be me and Mom and my Watcher and the Scoobies.”  She decided to try honesty.  “Things are still all awkward, like I was saying, and like **_you_** said, I could **_really_** use some backup.  Oh!  And it’d be a good opportunity for the new Slayer to meet everyone and stuff.”

“Yeah, B, I dunno about all that.  I’m not really a ‘take her home to mother’ type of gal.”  Buffy’s brow furrowed a little, not quite sure how to interpret that comment.  “Might be a little much for me.  Oh and … the fuck do you mean by ‘Scoobies’?”

“Oh!”  _Wow, I guess that does sound pretty silly, huh?_   “Umm the Scooby Gang.  Like from the old cartoon?  That’s my friends, the ones who know I’m the Slayer and help out sometimes.  Don’t ask how that name stuck, because I have no clue.”  Buffy remembered that she was trying to convince Faith.  “And also, look, it’ll totally be fine.  Trust me!  If you’re gonna stick around for a while and double team the slaying duties with me, you’ll probably be working a bunch with my friends anyway.  This is the perfect chance to start getting to know everyone.”  More silence.  “Please?  I’ll let you play with my new ax!”

“Hey now, that’s what a girl likes to hear.  I just needed a little begging,” she quipped, playfully mocking Buffy’s eagerness.  “Gimme a while to wrap things up here, but yeah, I can probably make it by dinner time.  Sunnydale, right?  What’s your address?”

“It’s 1630 Revello Drive.  You gonna be able to find me?”

“Cutie like you?  I’ll figure it out, trust me.  I got me a map—shouldn’t be an issue.”

“Uhhh … okay?  Great!  I’ll see ya soon?”

“You bet.”  _Well, this should get interesting_.

~~~~

_What am you doing?  Pretty girl invites you to dinner with her family, and you jump in the car and drive?  Really?_   Faith couldn’t quite explain it.  This definitely wasn’t normal behavior.  But LA had been boring without the other Slayer.  Besides, she had planned on tracking Buffy down anyway.  Meeting her unexpectedly in the big city  had just accelerated that process.

_That’s all there is to it.  Yeah, **sure**._

Faith had scoped out a motel on her way into town, not fully trusting that Buffy’s mom would be on board with taking in a stray.  People don’t just do that.  _Diana did._ But that was her job.  Watcher-Slayer.  As good as Diana was to her, Faith wasn’t under any misconceptions that the older woman would’ve taken her in outside of that context.  She didn’t see any reason Buffy’s mom would be any more welcoming, especially if she wasn’t chill with the whole Slayer thing.

As she pulled onto the street, Revello Drive, she kept her eyes peeled for a mailbox or street marker for 1630.  She was surprised to find that it was the house with the live band playing what appeared to be a raging party.  _Intimate dinner, my ass._

Still, the idea that Buffy’s ‘Scoobies’ ( _yeah, that name is still ridiculous_ ) might actually be party people made Faith feel a little more at ease.  A good ole fashioned hootenanny was so much more Faith’s speed than dinner with mom and friends.  Faith stepped out of  the car, stowing the keys in her satchel as she walked towards the house. But just as she stepped onto the porch, the music cut out suddenly.  It was replaced immediately by yelling.  Or at least like … a stern talking to.  Faith paused, the yelling muffled enough by the door that she couldn’t tell what was being said. 

Now people were uneasily trying to bail out the front door, apparently not down for whatever argument had taken center stage.  Faith went ahead and slipped in the front door as three more people slipped out.  She caught the tail end of what Buffy was shouting at the woman in red who Faith could now guess was probably her mom.

“… if I leave this house, don't come back.  You found out who I really was, and you couldn't deal!  Don't you remember?”  Buffy was all up in her face.  Her voice was full of hurt and righteous anger. 

“Buffy, you didn't give me time.  You just dumped this thing on me and you expected me to get it.  Well, guess what?  Mom's not perfect, okay?  I handled it badly.  But that doesn't give you the right to punish me by running away.”

 “ ** _Punish_** you?  I didn't do this to punish you!”  Buffy was focused firmly on her mother and hadn’t noticed Faith making her way into the house.  She held back on the edge of the remaining crowd watching the show.  Right now, Faith completely understood where Buffy was coming from.  She knew that impulse to run away; she just wondered what trauma Buffy had run from.

Some tall, scrawny guy with greasy black hair stepped in behind the mom, hands in his pockets like he was scared to cause trouble.  ”Well, you did.  You should've seen what you put her through.”  _Who is this guy, her brother?  They don’t look much alike._

“Great.  Thanks.”  Buffy glanced around, clearly feeling ganged up on.  She still hadn’t noticed Faith.  “Anybody else want to weigh in here?” She turned towards a tiny little guy in a dorky striped shirt, who was just about to stuff his face with a loaded up nacho.  “How about you by the dip?”  The kid looked like he was afraid he might burst into flames at all the attention.

He squeaked out, “No, thanks.  I'm good,” and Buffy turned back to her mom.  The annoying greasy guy decided this was a good time to keep scolding the Slayer, who could probably snap him like a twig if she wanted to.

“You know, maybe you don't want to hear it, Buffy, but taking off like you did was incredibly selfish and stupid.”  _No, it really wasn’t.  And I don’t even know the whole story._ Faith couldn’t believe these people.  These were her friends?  She didn’t know anyone here but Buffy, and now, the brunette was starting to feel like maybe she needed to insert herself into the situation.   Buffy ought to have someone on her side.

“Okay!  Okay.  I screwed up.  I **_know_** this.  But you have no idea!   You have, you have no idea what **_happened_** to me or what I was feeling!”  The blonde sounded like she was on the verge of tears now.

“Did you even try talking to anybody?”  He sounded whiny and skeptical, as if she ran away because of some nothing problem.  Buffy didn’t strike her as that kinda gal, so Faith was starting to get really fed up with this guy.

“There was nothing that anybody could do.  Okay?  I just had to deal with this on my own.”  He just kept on with his holier than thou attitude, and now it looked like Buffy had had enough of that.

“As if I even could've gone to you, Xander.  You made your feelings about Angel and I perfectly clear.” _Angel?_

“Look.  I'm sorry that your honey was a demon, but most girls don't hop a Greyhound over boy troubles.”  _Boy troubles?_   Yeah, there was no way that a feisty, badass Slayer like Buffy became the broken, skittish girl Faith had run into in LA over ‘boy troubles.’  Apparently, Faith wasn’t the only one who thought so.  An overly attractive brunette stepped in front of him to put him in his place, hopefully.

“Time out, Xander.  Put yourself in Buffy's shoes for just a minute.  Okay?”  _Finally, a friend who’s looking after Buffy._   “I'm Buffy, freak of nature, right?”  _Oh boy._  “Naturally I pick a freak for a boyfriend, and then he turns into Mr. Killing Spree, which is pretty much my fault—"

“Cordy!  Get outta my shoes!”  Now Buffy was pissed off, and there were tears on her cheeks.  Faith didn’t know what exactly was going on, but if she was hearing that right—Buffy was in a relationship with **_someone_** who was different, but he turned out to be a big damn murderer or something—then Faith felt like Buffy had every right to peace the fuck outta town.  Hell, that sounded like the most reasonable reaction.

“I'm just trying to help, Buffy.”

A pint-sized ginger girl standing next to a pint-sized ginger boy figured now was the time to add in her two cents.  But at least her voice was soft and semi-understanding.  “Buffy, you never—”

“Willow, please. I can't take this from you, too.”  Buffy was breaking down now, and Faith couldn’t hold her tongue any more.  Just as Greasy made to start yelling at Buffy again, Faith stepped forward.

“I’ve had about enough of this bullshit!”  Suddenly all eyes were on her.  A look of startled recognition crossed Buffy’s face, as if she just remembered that she had invited Faith to town.  The brunette quickly stepped forward so that she was at Buffy’s side.  “I don’t know what your damn problems are, but she doesn’t deserve this.”

“Buffy, who is this?” the mom asked, confused and a little flustered that a stranger was stepping up to her.

“I’m her friend, and apparently the only person here who’s got her back.”

Faith glanced over at Buffy and put a hand reassuringly on her shoulder.  But before Buffy could respond, a dead guy broke through the window.  And he wasn’t alone.  All of the sudden, the entire house was beset by the walking dead, and with a nod to each other, Buffy and Faith both sprung into Slayer mode.  Buffy tossed a fire poker to the greasy-haired guy, leaving Faith to assume he was one of the Scoobies, but Faith turned away, leaving this room for Buffy while she went to go help the party goers in the dining room.  Faith broke a couple of the zombies’ necks in quick succession, but the guys got right back up.  _Fuck._

Faith shouted back to the living room, “Hey B, these creepers aren’t really with the stayin’ slayed, you know what I mean?”  Buffy didn’t answer her, instead tossing a zombie out the front door and commanding some people to help her barricade the door.  Faith could already tell that wasn’t gonna work.  There were already at least four of ‘em inside, and they wouldn’t go down.  The front door splintered in half, drawing screams of fear from the civilians around Buffy, and then they were all running.  Which was really the best idea for everyone.  Buffy, her mom, and a couple of others retreated up the stairs, which Faith didn’t really see the point of.

For now, Faith guessed she’d keep pounding on zombies, see if she couldn’t find a way to make them more permanently dead.  She ran to the kitchen, looking for a knife big enough to try beheading.  She fumbled around through a few drawers, and she could hear a couple more walking dead shuffling into the kitchen behind her.  She grabbed the biggest knife she could find, maybe eight or ten inches long.  _Guess it’ll have to do._   Faith found herself wishing she had Buffy’s ax right about then.  She punched a nearby zombie in the face again before swinging the knife at its neck as hard as she could.  Even then, the knife got lodged in the thing’s spinal cord, only cutting halfway into the neck.  And it didn’t seem to faze him at all.  _Dammit._

She knocked the zombie to the ground and yanked the knife free, before bringing it down to take out its eyes.  Then she tossed it out the back door and slammed it shut.  Looking around for the next challenger, she realized that she was alone now.  Except then a nearby door opened, and the hot brunette and the dude ginger snuck out cautiously.  Each had a ski pole in hand, as if those would make for any kinda good weapon at all.  “Hey!” the girl whispered in agitation.  “Who are you?!” 

Faith heard bumps upstairs, and so she ignored the pointless question.  There’d be time for introductions later.  As she swung around the corner to take the stairs up to where the action was, an older man in a tweed suit hurried in through the splintered front door.  From behind her, she heard the girl greet him with a hopeful, “Giles!  Wait—how do we know you’re not zombie Giles?”  He gave Faith a confused look before turning to the girl in exasperation.

“Cordelia, do stop being tiresome.”  The overly British insult was apparently all the girl—Cordelia—needed for confirmation.

 “I think the Dead Man’s Party’s moved upstairs,” said the ginger, and Faith rolled her eyes. 

The older man explained that it was some sort of mask upstairs in Joyce’s bedroom ( _guess that’s the mom’s name_ ) that’s raising the dead.  “The Mask holds the power of a … zombie demon, called Ovu Mobani—Evil Eye.  I don’t think we can get past them.”  Faith decided to wait and see what else he had to say—at least he seemed to have answers.  Maybe he knew a weakness.

“What happens if they get the mask?” asked the ginger.

“If one of them puts it on, they become the demon incarnate.”

“Ohhh fuck that,” Faith muttered, then took off up the stairs.  She was gonna destroy that mask before one of these creepers got a major power upgrade.  Climbing over a gaggle of grumpy corpses, she caught a glimpse into the bedroom.  A zombie in really tacky bright pink was shoving Joyce aside, and Buffy was distracted.  “Buffy!”  Faith shouted, still fighting her way into the room.  “Don’t let any of them get to the mask!”  Buffy shot her a confused look, but they were too late.  The frumpy zombie got to the mask, which melded to her face, eyes lighting up a piercing red.

Suddenly, all the other zombies cringed away from the newly incarnated demon woman.  It said, in a truly heinous voice, “I live, you die.”  _Wow, be more cliché._ Buffy charged, and Faith was only a half step behind her.  Then its eyes flashed, paralyzing Buffy long enough for it to hit her with a forearm powerful enough to toss her across the room and into the door.  Faith simply closed her eyes, gritted her teeth, and drove the thing straight back through the window.  They tussled on the way down and off the roof, landing in a heap on the ground.  The wind was knocked out of her, but just barely.

As she leapt back onto her feet, Buffy landed next to her.  “Don’t look at it,” she cautioned. 

“I’ll try and hold her off, as best as I can all blind and whatnot.  You grab a weapon.”  Faith figured she could take a bit of a pounding.  She didn’t close her eyes, but kept them firmly on the ground.  Kicking as hard as she could upward at the advancing demon, she felt solid contact, but it grabbed her foot and threw her to the ground.  It was on her in a second, and now Faith did close her eyes, kicking out blindly and driving the demon back.  She heard running footsteps coming up behind her, and she glanced up to see Buffy with a shovel.

“Hey Pat!”  The demon turned away from the ginger boy now standing in the doorway, its head snapping back in Buffy’s direction.  “Made you look,” Buffy quipped, before driving the shovel straight through the eyes of the mask.  Faith got to her feet as a flash of light poured out of the mask, then the body disappeared entirely.  She shuddered internally.  She hated the name Pat.

“You alright?” Buffy asked.

“Never better,” Faith assured, shooting the blonde a cocky grin.  She followed Buffy back into the house.  As they entered the house, Joyce ran over and embraced Buffy, shouting, “Honey!”  Buffy hugged her back, and Faith found herself abruptly feeling way awkward.  Joyce pulled back, and gave Faith a quick look of puzzlement before turning back to her daughter.  “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Buffy murmured, clearly still feeling at odds with everything.

“So … is this a typical day at the office?”  Faith guessed all it took was a minor zombie apocalypse to turn Joyce from stern mom to goofy mom. 

Buffy cracked the slightest of smiles.  “No … this was nothing.”  Her voice was soft and distant.  Then she shook her head, as if clearing her mind.  “Hey everyone, this is Faith.” She stepped back so she was next to Faith.

“The Vampire Slayer,” Faith added, trying to sound confident.  Everyone seemed pretty taken aback by the news, but Buffy didn’t seem interested in explanations right then.

“Listen, I need to clear my head after all this.  We can all touch base tomorrow, but for now, Faith and I are gonna go for a walk.”  She grabbed Faith’s hand, which the brunette was really not expecting, and started to lead her outside.  Joyce made as if to stop her, but one pleading look from Buffy was all it took to get them out of the room, and then out of the house.

They walked in silence for a good five minutes.  When Faith couldn’t take the silence anymore, she teased, “So, do you always make jokes before you kill a baddie?”  She glanced over to check for a reaction.  All she got was a small, wry smile.

“Yeah, I guess it’s kinda my thing.”

“I enjoyed it,” Faith offered, still feeling awkward.  Silence sat in again, but this time it was Buffy who broke it.

“Thank you.”

Faith’s eyes narrowed, and she frowned just a little.  “What for?”

“Standing up for me.” Buffy blew out a frustrated breath.  “I’m sorry I dragged you into that stellar example of how oh so crappy my life is right now.  I wouldn’t have invited you if I knew.  But I appreciated the support.”

“It’s no problem, B.  Really.  Far’s I can tell, you were in the right.”  She decided to push a little.  “Those people are your **_friends_**?”

Buffy grimaced, but Faith couldn’t quite read the expression that settled on her face after that.  Then she sighed.  “Before all the zombies, how much of that did you hear?”

“You had a guy.  He turned violent.  You took off.  And your friends and family seem to think that wasn’t the right way to handle it, for some fucking reason.”  Faith kicked a stray rock.  “I’m sure there’s more to it, but I can’t figure why they think you did something wrong.”

The smile on Buffy’s face was wide and genuine, but her eyes were still sad.  “I guess it’s a **_bit_** more complicated than that.”  Faith kept an eye on the blonde as they kept walking at a leisurely pace.  “I was dating this guy.  Was in love with this guy.  But he wasn’t violent.  Or … not any more violent than you or me.  He was a vampire—”  Faith’s eyes widened.  _What the fuck?_   “—but he had a soul.”

“Well that’s a new one,” Faith joked, trying to mask her discomfort.

“Yeah.  I met him a couple of years ago and didn’t even realize he was a vampire at first.  But … it was like this big epic romance, you know?  We fell in love.  He helped me with my slaying.  He understood me in a way no one else really could.  Not even my friends.”

“So, what was that Cordelia chick getting at with the whole killing spree thing.”  Buffy’s face sank, and she was fighting back tears.  Faith didn’t feel like she knew the girl well enough to try and comfort her, so she just waited.  Gave Buffy her space.  Another minute or two passed while Buffy collected herself and thought about what she wanted to say.  Faith added, “Hey, I ain’t tryin’ to pry or anything.  You don’t gotta tell me anything you don’t wanna.”

“No.”  Her voice was firm.  “No, it feels good to talk about it with someone who wasn’t here.  And I feel like you’re one of the only people in the world who might get it.”  Faith wasn’t sure she was really going to understand falling for a vampire, soul or not.  Hell, Faith was pretty sure she didn’t even believe in love, at least not the sweeping romantic stuff Buffy seemed to be talking about.  But she could listen.  _Ain’t like I got anywhere else to be._

Buffy locked eyes with Faith, searching her briefly.  She wasn’t sure what for.  Then, Buffy continued.  “I’d dated before.  But Angel … he’s the only guy I’ve ever really loved.  He was my first … everything.”  There was a look of profound sadness that crossed Buffy’s face.  “So, his soul was actually a curse.  The soulless vampire he was before.  Angelus.  He was ruthless.  Sadistic.  He murdered some members of a Romani tribe, and they cursed him by giving him his soul back.  Forcing him to feel all the guilt and shame of all the horrible things he’d done for nearly a century.”

 _Yikes._ Faith didn’t really get this much either, but she nodded along.  “Sounds like it’d suck, but like … isn’t that the thing about vamps?  It’s an entirely different beast without the soul—is he really at fault for what the demon did in his body while his soul was off wherever souls go?”

Buffy didn’t respond immediately.  When she did, her voice was tentative, as if she wasn’t quite sure of the truth of what she was saying.  “I **_think_** so.  But Angel … he was always so sorrowful.  Whether he deserved it or not, he felt the burden of every bit of that guilt.  That’s a big part of why he wanted to help me.  He saw it as his way to atone.  To do some good in the world.”

“What happened?  Noticing a lot of past tense here.”

“The part of the curse no one told Angel was that if he ever had a moment of perfect happiness, he’d lose his soul again.”

“Shit.”  Sounded like some straight up bullshit to Faith.  You want a guy to suffer for all the bad things he did, that made sense.  Hell, maybe all that guilt could lead to turning a demon into a force for good—at least that’s what Buffy was saying.  But then unleashing a soulless murderer on the world again, just because dude was happy once in his miserable existence?  That was messed up.

“Yeah.”  Buffy stopped, then turned and started walking down a different street.  Faith followed, giving her a little space.  She glanced at the street sign as they walked by it.  _Crawford Street._   The warm glow of the street lights contrasted with the otherworldly pale glimmer of the moonlight, casting shadows that added some depth and mystery to an otherwise bland suburban street.  Under such light, Buffy’s blonde updo took on a sort of ethereal shimmery appearance, not quite silver but not quite gold.  Combined with her short-sleeved pink dress and the subtly powerful way she carried herself, even in this moment of vulnerability, Buffy really did look every bit the part of a protagonist in some sort of modern fantasy story.  Or … horror fantasy, what with the zombies and vampires and what not.   Even as she continued this tragic tale of her lost love, Faith found Buffy so captivating.

“It happened on my seventeenth birthday, after we …”  _Oh._   Buffy shook her head, trying to dispel bad memories.  “I woke up alone, and the next time I saw him, he was completely different.  After that, he took his sweet time stalking and tormenting me and my friends.  He killed people.  A teacher who was close to us.  He tortured my Watcher.  In the end, he was going to try to end the world.  I had to choose.”

Faith’s heart sank.  She’d been through a lot of shit in her life, but this sounded as fucked up as just about anything she’d been through herself.  She tried to comfort Buffy, though she really had no clue how.  “But the guy you killed… that was the demon, right?  Curse got broken, so the boyfriend, the good guy you loved, he was already gone.”

Buffy kept walking, refusing to look back at Faith.  Her whole body tensed up, and her breathing quickened.  She stopped suddenly and sat down on a bench.  Faith gave the area a quick once over, checking for anything that went bump in the night before taking a seat beside the blonde.  She left about six inches of space between them.

“I sent the man I loved to a hell dimension.”  The words were so quiet that Faith almost didn’t hear her.  “He … my friend Willow is a witch, and she figured out how to perform the same spell that had originally cursed Angelus.  It worked at the last minute, and by then it was too late.  The portal to the hell dimension was open, and if I didn’t sacrifice Angel to it, it would’ve swallowed the world.”  Tears streaked down Buffy’s cheeks, but her voice was steady.

 _This girl is amazing._   Faith didn’t know if she could make that decision.  It seemed like some pretty straightforward math, but she knew she had never loved anyone like that.  Here they were, months later, and Buffy was still devastated by this.  Did her friends know what happened?  Faith had to assume they didn’t.  She couldn’t imagine anyone getting all pissy with her for leaving town after that if they knew what had happened.

She felt a little caught off guard that Buffy was telling her all this.  Faith wasn’t used to people being this open.  Personally, she’d almost rather have to kill a boyfriend to save the world than be that vulnerable with someone.  Everyone she’d ever opened up to had either used her, abused her, or left.  In her experience, that was life.  But Buffy … she seemed different.  Maybe.

“My Watcher was killed right in front of me.”  The words were out of her mouth before she could talk herself out of it.  Buffy looked at her with wide eyes, tears beginning to dry.  Faith kept going while she still had the courage.  “She was … I had a rough life.  She was the first person who really looked out for me.  Gave me a purpose.  Believed in me.”  Faith bit her lip, focusing on the immediate pain of it to avoid getting overwhelmed by the still open wound of Diana’s death.  “Then a big bad vamp killed her right in front of me just to make a fucking point.”

Faith had no idea when, but at some point the blonde had shifted a little closer.  Buffy made as if to put a hand on her arm, and Faith flinched away on pure instinct.  She regretted it immediately, but she wasn’t willing to show weakness in this moment.  Bad enough she was sharing her pain.  “Anyway.  That’s why I left.  There was nothing for me there.”  That was half of the truth, at least. 

She peeked nervously over at Buffy, seeing that her expression was more considerate than disappointed or put off.   The brunette tried to hide her insecurity in that moment, tossing her hair behind her as she slouched back into the bench, stretching her arms over the back of it nonchalantly.  Unfortunately, she had no clue what to say next.

As if taking her cue from the brunette, Buffy relaxed visibly and leaned back, though not taking up the amount of space Faith was.  Even so, a couple of stray blonde hairs tickled Faith’s hand, unleashing a flurry of butterflies in her gut.  She felt powerless to control them, which was a feeling she hated. 

“You ever have dreams that are so vivid that they feel real?”  Buffy asked casually, her eyes on something across the street.  Not expecting the question, Faith didn’t have the foresight to brace herself against the flashes the sprung to her mind.  Sights and sounds that were confusing beyond comprehension, which made the fact that they were striking and unforgettable almost maddening.  Others that were simply horrific enough that she wished she could forget them. 

She locked down the open expression of shock and hurt, hiding her feelings behind her aloof demeanor before answering.  “I mean I got dreams like anyone else, I guess.”   Buffy immediately turned her head back towards Faith, tilting it slightly as she raised an eyebrow skeptically.

“That so?  **_Just_** like anyone else?”  Buffy shrugged, and Faith didn’t love how easily this girl seemed to see through her.  “Anyway.  I **_do_**.  Have dreams.  **_Slayer_** dreams.  I was hoping you might understand, but if you really have **_no_** idea what I’m talking about…”  She shot a pair of impressively cute puppy dog eyes towards Faith.

“Wow, way to lay it on thick, B.”  Faith rolled her eyes.  “Fine.  I know what you mean.  I have them, too. I just … don’t wanna talk about it.” 

“How about listening to me talk about mine?  And maybe letting me know what you think?” 

Now it was Faith’s turn to raise an eyebrow.  “Yeah, s’pose I could do that.  You **_did_** save me from a zombie demon tonight.”

“Anytime,” she replied, her tone cocky enough that Faith could almost believe she was flirting.  “So … I’ve had two dreams about Angel since coming back to Sunnydale.  Two very not normal dreams, and I don’t feel comfortable talking to my Watcher about them.”  Faith figured it made sense, but she was starting to feel like Buffy was gonna need a push to get over her dead vampire boyfriend.  But hell, now she was curious about these dreams.  It was an aspect of Slayer lore that Diana hadn’t gotten to before … the end.

“That first night, he and I were dancing at the Bronze.”  She paused, eyes darting towards Faith before she explained, “That’s the big club everyone goes to.  Anyway—”  her eyes moved back to the distance, and her body tensed just enough that it was noticeable.  “I felt safe and warm in his arms, and then I remembered.  Everything.  I told him that I missed him, and we kept dancing.  All my friends were there, staring at us.  Then the ring he gave me for my birthday slipped off my finger, and it hit the floor loudly.  He stilled, and we both looked down at it.  I had that ominous feeling in my gut, the kind I always get around big bads.”

She took in, then released, a deep breath.  “When he reached down to pick it up, I had bright, vivid flashes of when I stabbed him in the gut.  When I sent him backwards into the portal to the hell dimension.  I took a step back from Angel, told him that I had to, and that’s when he squeezed the ring in his fist, so hard that he bled.  He was angry.  Said he loved me.  Then he started bleeding where I had stabbed him.  I freaked, and he yelled at me to go to hell.  After that it was like he was a rotted corpse, and he just grinned and chuckled at me.  That’s when I woke up.” 

It sounded creepy as hell, but otherwise not particularly noteworthy.  Like Buffy was still struggling over the guilt of killing her boyfriend.  Is that all there was to Slayer dreams?  How was that different from normal dreams?

Buffy pushed her bang away from her eye, meeting Faith’s gaze.  She shrugged at the blonde, who then continued to the next dream.

“Last night, I was wandering my high school, except that it was all empty.  I felt groggy, dazed.  I walked out into the courtyard, and it was bright and sunny.  But that’s when Angel appeared behind me.”  She crossed her arms, suddenly nervous.  “He was wearing dark clothing this time.  He was in white the first time.  In the sunlight, he almost looked human.  I said that I’d thought ‘they’ would be there, but I have no idea who I meant.  Angel assured me that they were just waiting for me, but he didn’t say where. …  I don’t know, maybe he meant my friends and family.  They’ve been big on the avoiding me since I got back. I asked Angel if I was dreaming, and he only told me that I should go.  Then he said I should be afraid.” 

Buffy stood, taking a couple of steps away from the bench.  Her back was to Faith.  “He didn’t seem himself.  Angel was quiet, sweet but … sorrowful.  In my dream, he smirked and his tone at the end was almost mocking.  Almost like he was ….”  _Angelus?_   She faced Faith, wide eyes searching for answers.  “I have no idea what the dreams could mean.  When I’ve had dreams like this in the past, they were usually some sort of prophecy or whatever.  Like … not like I can see the future, but an omen of something that was to come, you know?”

Faith really didn’t, and she hadn’t wavered in her thinking that these dreams were just a troubled mind unable to free itself of a shit ton of guilt.  But she didn’t really think that was what Buffy wanted to hear right now.  She didn’t know what to say.

“Oh god, you think I’m nuts.  Just dreams, right?”  She looked disappointed, like she was hoping that she could get her life back on track simply by deciphering these dreams.

“Look, B … uh, if you’re looking for dream interpretation, I’m pretty sure that’s above my pay grade.”  Buffy deflated a little more.  “But,” Faith continued uncomfortably, “if you really wanna know what I think … maybe you’re lookin’ at these dreams the wrong way.”  The blonde’s eyes narrowed, unsure.  “What I mean is … I dunno if these are some big scary omen or whatever, but I **_do_** think they paint a pretty clear picture.”

“What picture?”

“You feel guilty.”  Buffy’s face twisted into something that was part grin, part grimace.  “I know, you’re thinking ‘no shit, Sherlock.’  But come **_on_**.  You’re drowning in it.  No wonder he’s haunting your dreams.  Whether it’s some mystical force or just your own brain, that ain’t important.  The takeaway here is that you need to find a way to move on.”  She frowned, and yeah, she definitely wasn’t looking to hear this.

But Faith knew she was right, and Buffy seemed willing to listen, unlike most people.  “I’m serious!  You’re drownin’ in it.  The guilt, I mean.  And you’re never gonna get your life back on track while that’s keeping you trapped in the past.”  She noticed that Buffy’s fingers were playing along the smooth surface of a silver ring now.  _Had she been holding that this whole time?_   “That the ring he gave you?”

Buffy looked startled, as if she hadn’t realized what her hands were doing.  She looked down at the ring, hands having frozen in place the second Faith had asked her about it.  Another long moment passed before she closed her fist around the ring and said, “Come on, let’s keep walking.”  Faith stood, and they continued down the street, side by side.

“It’s called a Claddaugh ring.  It’s a traditional Irish thing… that’s where he was from originally, before he was turned.  It represents friendship, loyalty, and love.”  The way she said ‘love’ sounded so wistful.  “He told me to wear it with the heart pointed at myself, to symbolize that I belonged to someone.” 

 _Sounds like a load of horse shit to me_.  In other words, exactly the sort of lovey dovey stuff that Buffy seemed to be into.  “So, you still wear it?”

Buffy shook her head.  “I took it off after he turned.  Guess I really didn’t wear it long, huh?”

“But you held onto it.”  Buffy wasn’t carrying a bag or anything, so clearly she had been wearing it tonight. 

“Yeah.  I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it.  It’s the only part of him I have left.  And tonight… well, I guess I just felt so lonely.  Isolated.  I guess I’ve always felt that way, ever since I became the Slayer.  I walk alone, because no one else can fully understand what it feels like.  A sacred duty.  The weight of the world.  Demons trying to kill me every night.” 

Faith thought about pointing out that she understood all of that.  That she lived in Buffy’s shoes.  Loneliness and isolation were things Faith was intensely intimate with.  But this wasn’t the time, and Faith had reached the end of her willingness to be vulnerable for the evening.

“With Angel, I didn’t feel alone anymore.  His burden wasn’t the same as mine, but he understood it.  As well as anyone else could.  He was always there for me, and I could talk to him about anything.”  Buffy shrugged.  “Haven’t exactly been feeling the love from, well, anyone … and I just needed something to make me feel strong tonight.”

“Well, mission accomplished.  At least, I’m pretty sure Demon Pat thought so.”  That got a smile out of the blonde.  “Hey I gotta ask.  And don’t bite my head off, cuz I’m just curious.  But uh, what exactly do you feel guilty for?”

Buffy halted, glaring at Faith, who quickly put her hands up defensively.  The blonde sighed, then started walking again.  Faith resumed her position to Buffy’s left, matching her brisker pace.  Finally, she answered.  Incredulous at first, but then quieter.  “I sent my boyfriend to **_hell_**.  We were fighting, and at the last minute, Willow’s spell worked.  He asked me what was going on.  He was so confused.”  The tears were back.  “He got his soul back, and he didn’t remember.  **_Any of it_**.  He was confused and lost, and I told him I loved him.  Then I ran him through with a sword and sent him to hell.”

Faith grabbed her arm.  Buffy’s bicep was every bit as firm as Faith had imagined, and the blonde stopped, turning her tearful eyes towards Faith.  “B, you had to.  It sucks.  It’s fuckin’ awful.  But it was him or the world, and you know it.  ‘Less you’re not tellin’ the story right.”  Buffy was silent, face hard as she fought against tears.  She turned and kept walking, with Faith close on her heel.  “Yeah, I didn’t think so.”  Buffy didn’t respond, and the silence grew a little heavier with each additional step.

“I still did it!   I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look of hurt on his face.  Betrayal.  I …”

“Look, I get it.  You lost someone.  It hurts like hell.  Worse, cuz you had to do it yourself.  You had to see his face.  Watch him go.”  Faith felt completely out of her element.  Pep talks were very not her thing.  But she was pretty sure Buffy’s guilt was misplaced, and apparently no one else was gonna tell her that.  “You got plenty of reasons to be sad.  That kinda loss comes with a buttload of pain.  That’s fine.  Work through it your own way.  Mourn.  That’s what LA was for, right?  But none of it was your fault.”

Buffy stopped again.  “We’re here.”  That’s when Faith noticed it.  The building was huge, though it was more post-modern castle than mansion.  It was cool, in a way.  Butt ugly in others.  She followed the blonde across the street and down a path around the side of the … _yeah, I’ll just go with mansion I guess._   It led into an outdoor courtyard/garden area.  “This is where it happened.”

Faith stopped immediately.  She was genuinely surprised.  _How could she come back here?_ Faith couldn’t imagine returning to that warehouse where Diana had died.  Even if the whole thing had burned down.  _Screw that._   The idea of it made her chest feel tight and pained.  But here was Buffy, returning the scene of her nightmares.  The blonde kept walking, but Faith couldn’t move.  None of this made sense to her.  _How can she stand to be here?_   “B-Buffy?  Do you … want me to come with you?”

She paused mid-step, her foot coming down slowly as she considered her answer.  “No, that’s okay.  You, um, you got me here.”  Then she kept walking into the mansion.  In the moonlight, Faith could watch her as she entered a large, empty stone living area.  She knelt down towards the center of the room.  Paused for a moment, maybe to say something.  Then she placed the ring down on the center of the floor.  It looked as though it took all her strength to let go of the tiny silver circle, but she did it.  Buffy released it, then stood.  Shakily. 

After giving the ring one last longing look, she turned and walked back towards Faith.  She could almost see the weight on Buffy’s shoulders lightening the tiniest bit with each step.  Then she was in front of Faith.  Her eyes were still on the ground between them, and Faith felt intensely out of place.  This was an intimate moment that she wasn’t entitled to.  But Buffy was the one who brought her here.

Just as Faith decided to ask Buffy if she was okay, the other Slayer moved, swiftly wrapping Faith in a tight hug.  The brunette stiffened at first but decided to let it happen.  She put her arms around Buffy and allowed the girl to cry into her shoulder.

Maybe this was Buffy letting go of her guilt. 

Regardless, Faith could tell the girl in her arms was tough as nails.  And she had the uneasy feeling that she was already feelin’ some kinda way about her.


	3. Slaying Personal Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as Faith starts to settle into her new life in Sunnydale, Kakistos catches up to her. Buffy is exposed to Faith's anger issues for the first time, and Faith finally gets her revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Faith, Hope and Trick

“Just give me a second, okay?”  Faith gave her a supportive nod, and Buffy walked back into the house.  “Mom?”  She found Joyce upstairs, cleaning.  Surprisingly, she didn’t feel nervous.  After the mansion, she just felt emptied out, and she still felt a little numb.  Maybe that was a good mindset to be in for this talk.  She definitely didn’t want to blow up at her mom again.

“Buffy.”  Joyce’s voice was soft, with a thick well of worry.  “You’re home.”

“Yup.”

“I-I … honey, I’m sorry.  I’m still new to this terrifying world you’ve apparently been living in for however long now—”

“Almost three years, Mom.”  Buffy specifically avoided an obvious jab about how Joyce had locked up her up in a mental hospital at the beginning.  The look of guilt on her mom’s face suggested that maybe her mind went there on its own.

“There was something you said to Xander, before all the zombies.  That we couldn’t understand.  We didn’t know what you were feeling.”  Joyce sat down on her bed, eyes firmly on Buffy.  “You were right.  I was so caught up in my own feelings of worry and fear and abandonment, and beneath that, more than a little guilt for kicking you out.  I was a bad mom.  I should’ve been there for you.  Especially now that I’ve seen a glimpse of what your life is actually like.”

Buffy’s heart melted, and she sat down next to her mom, leaning her head on her shoulder.  “For the record, I’m sorry I made you worry.  But I had to go.  Had to get away.”  Joyce stiffened a little but didn’t push the issue. 

“Well, I’m just glad you’re home.  I can’t promise I’ll be all ‘cool mom,’ but I’ll try more to be understanding of your … **_calling_**?”  Buffy smirked.  _Mom’s still totally awkward._   “I hate the idea that you’re constantly in danger.”

“I know.  But hey!  I’ve got a good team.  Giles is Mr. Information Guy, and Willow is a witch, and Xander … well he brings snacks sometimes.  And now there’s a second Slayer in town, and I trust her to have my back.”

Joyce pulled away enough to look at Buffy.  “Oh right.  Who is this girl?  Faith, you said?”

“She’s a friend.  We ran into each other in LA.”  Now Buffy’s stomach did flutter a little.  She still hadn’t asked her mom.  “Listen, I think she’s been through a lot, and she’s got nowhere to go.  But I don’t know that I would even be back here without her.”

“Say no more,” Joyce assured.  “If she’s watching your back, she’s got a place under my roof.  The guest room is hers, if she wants it.”  Buffy felt elated, and she hugged her mom tightly.  “Gentle, honey.”

“Sorry!”  She pulled away.

“You really do have super strength, huh?  My little girl.”

“Yeah, Mom, I **_really_** do.”  Buffy stood.  “So um, after all the fighting, Faith and I are pretty hungry.”

“Well then, let’s see what I can whip up for my resident heroes.  Besides, I want to get to know this Faith.”  Joyce followed her downstairs, where Faith had gotten to work trying to put things back in order as best she could.  The brunette tensed as she heard them coming downstairs, turning a little shyly as she glanced at Joyce then met Buffy’s gaze.  It was a side of the other Slayer Buffy hadn’t seen before, and she wondered what sort of person Faith was deep down, under all those layers of bravado and swagger.

“Faith, right?”  She nodded at Joyce, who moved closer to introduce herself.  “I’m Buffy’s mom.  Feel free to call me Joyce.”  The older woman got a little nervous, but kept going.  “I’m uh sorry that our first interaction wasn’t under the best of circumstances.  I just … moms worry, you know?”  A shadow flashed across Faith’s face quickly enough that Buffy wondered if she imagined it.  “Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for watching out for my daughter, and I hope you’ll accept my invitation to stay with us here as long as you’re in town.”

Faith’s body language screamed that she was caught off guard by Joyce’s straightforward kindness.  Buffy wondered what exactly she had expected, but then she remembered that Faith’s first impression of Joyce was big mean scoldey mom.  She hadn’t seen the caring side of Joyce.  “Uh, thanks, Joyce.”  Faith rubbed her own arm, stance full of uncertain energy.  “You sure it’s alright?”

“Of course, sweetie.  You two fight the forces of darkness every night; you need a good roof over your head.  And food!”  Joyce’s eyes brightened as she remembered.  “I’ll just head into the kitchen.  Give me ten minutes.”

As Joyce hurried away, Faith came up beside Buffy.  She elbowed her playfully in the ribs before offering, “Damn B, that’s quite an about-face from moms there.  Gotta say, I wasn’t expecting it.” 

Buffy turned to Faith, keeping her arms at her side instead of grabbing the other girl’s shoulders like she wanted to.  She didn’t want to scare her off by getting big with the serious emotions.  “I wasn’t just saying it when I offered you a place to stay, Faith.  Neither is Mom.  I know we just met and all, so don’t go making a big deal or anything.  But seriously, as long as you wanna be here, you’ve got a home with us.”  Faith tensed, and it was so confusing to Buffy.  Their late night stroll had been heavy and emotional, and the girl had even opened up a little.  _Only a little._   And yet, she still seemed super uncomfortable with someone telling her she was wanted.  Buffy made a mental note to talk to Willow about that, after everyone had been properly introduced.  She was always the insightful one when it came to hidden emotions.

Buffy and Faith set about trying to do what they could to clean up the wreckage, the silence fairly comfortable between them.  It looked like they were going to need a new front door, and Buffy winced at the thought of how much Joyce’s bad taste in décor was going to end up costing them.  _At least this one wasn’t my fault._

For the first time, Buffy really took a look at Faith, as the brunette cleared the wreckage of the window off of the couch.  She was wearing a dark charcoal crop top, with a bizarre winged skeleton with bared breasts across her chest, the words ‘Another Level’ haphazardly written in front of the skeleton.  Buffy was surprised to find herself quite impressed with Faith’s exposed abs.  And while Faith’s top was unpleasant, her dark red pleather pants made Buffy a little jealous.  Just because she wanted a pair herself, not because she happened to notice that Faith’s butt looked really good in them.  Overall, Buffy thought Faith’s look was kind of trashy, but the brunette pulled it off.  Somehow, it worked for her. 

It wasn’t long before Joyce shouted out for them to meet her in the dining room.  She laid out a large plate of French fries and some pizza bagel bites.  “I didn’t have time for a proper meal,” she said, embarrassed.  “But I hope this is alright.”

“Looks great to me!” Faith responded as she sat down.  She wasted no time in diving in.  As Buffy took a seat across from her, she wondered if the girl had eaten today.  She knew Faith had a car, but she didn’t know what her money situation was.  She did know, however, that there was no way she could ask without putting Faith on edge.

Joyce settled in at the head of the table, between them.  She turned her attention on Faith.  “So, you're a Slayer, too?” she asked nonchalantly.  “Isn't that interesting!  Do you like it?”

Faith was slouched in her chair at a bit of an angle, resting an arm over the back of the chair next to her.  Any semblance of nerves or vulnerability was gone.  She was in full on ‘nothing ever bothers me’ cocky Slayer mode.  Her voice sparked with passion as she answered, “God, I love it!”

“You know, Buffy never talks that way.”  Buffy’s eyes narrowed, but her mom was focused on Faith.  They’d had all of three short conversations about being the Slayer; she hadn’t really said much about it at all.  Buffy wondered if Joyce was still wigging about the zombies or if she was just trying too hard to make Faith feel welcome.  Joyce asked Faith, seemingly sincere, “Why do you love it?”  Buffy and Faith shared a quick look.

“Well, when I'm fighting, it's like the whole world goes away and I only know one thing: that I'm gonna win—” Faith made a stabbing motion with a nearby fork.  _Why did Mom bring us silverware for fries and bagel bites?_ “—and they're gonna lose. I like that feelin'.”  Faith’s voice was light, almost melodic in a way Buffy had never heard it.

Still a little confused about her mother’s behavior, Buffy added in a light-hearted quip.  “Well, **_sure_**.  Beats that dead feeling you get when they win, and you lose.”  Faith laughed at that, but Joyce paled.  _Oops._   Faith was quick to keep the conversation moving.

“I don't let that kind of negative thinking in.”

Joyce brightened a little at that, and Buffy shot Faith a thankful look.  “Right.”  Joyce pointed at Faith excitedly.  “Right. That could get you hurt.  Buffy can be awfully negative sometimes.”  Faith gave Joyce an incredulous look, but she had already turned towards Buffy.  “See, honey, you gotta fight that.”

 _Yeah okay, Mom._ “Working on it.”  She looked down at her plate awkwardly.

“Oh, Faith, can I get you another soft drink?”  Joyce stood, holding out a hand.

“Oh, you bet.”  She handed Joyce her mostly empty glass, and the older woman headed back into the kitchen.

Faith leaned in towards Buffy conspiratorially and whispered, “Wow, she's **_really_** cool, huh?” 

Buffy grinned at the other Slayer’s sarcasm, responding in kind.  “Best mom ever.”  The shared a soft smile as they continued to eat.

Reentering the room with a glass full of soda, Joyce jumped right back into the conversation.  “Well, I’ve just got to say, Buffy, there are some things I'd be happy to see you share with Faith here.  Like the slaying.  I mean, two of you fighting is safer than one, right?”

She had a point there, but Buffy was still feeling weird about the whole conversation.  “Sure thing, Mom,” she muttered.

Faith answered much more enthusiastically, winking at Buffy as she gushed, “I got ya girl’s back for sure, Joyce.”  Buffy’s mom continued to stand back against the wall, looking a little reassured by Faith’s zeal.

“You know, Faith, if you **_love_** the slaying so much—” she glanced at Buffy, eyes wide like a genius idea had occurred to her.  Buffy cringed, sensing where she was going with this, “—couldn’t she take over for you?”

Buffy sighed in exasperation.  One step forward, another step back.  “Mom, no one can take over for me.” 

“But you're going to college next year.”  Buffy’s eyes fell on Faith, whose cocky façade was momentarily down, her brow furrowed.  Joyce was oblivious though, focused solely on Buffy.  “I think it would be—”

“ ** _Mom_** , the only way you get a new Slayer is when the old Slayer dies.”  The words were out of her mouth without thinking, and she immediately regretted it.  Joyce straightened, her face slowly dropping into a look of horror as she blinked rapidly.  

“Then that means you...”  Her voice trailed off, then her eyes narrowed.  Her tone was angry now, nearly incredulous.  “When did you die?  You never told me you died!”

Buffy glanced back to Faith, and now there was a playful smirk on the brunette’s lips.  _Gee thanks, Faith._   Buffy rushed to calm her mom.  “No, i-it was just for a few minutes.

Joyce pulled away from the table, pacing nervously.  “Oh, I **_hate_** this. I hate your life.”

“Mom, I—”

“Look, I-I know you didn't choose this, I know it chose you.”  Joyce took a heavy breath.  “I have tried to march in the 'Slayer Pride' parade, but...”  Buffy rolled her eyes.  _Pride parade? **Really** Mom?  I’m a Slayer, not a big ole lesbian._  Faith shot her a look, and her stomach fluttered again for some reason.  But then Joyce had her attention again.  “I don't want you to die.”  Buffy couldn’t think of any way to reassure her.  Dying was always a possibility, and that was a big part of why it was so hard for other people to really understand what being the Slayer meant.  She stood and wrapped her mom in a soft hug.

Joyce held onto her like she couldn’t bear to ever let go.  The only thing Buffy could think was to put on a confident face, just like Faith.  “Mom, I’m not gonna die.  I know how to do my job.”  She stepped back, and Faith’s voice called out from the table. 

“Besides, like you said Joyce, she’s got help now.”  Then Faith shoveled a handful of fries into her mouth, without any shame whatsoever.  Buffy found herself smiling again, but she had no idea why.

~~~~

Fresh off the high of seeing Snyder put in his place when the school board forced him to let Buffy back into school—with some annoying strings attached, but still—Buffy met up with Willow as she headed to see Giles at the library.  As they entered and came to a halt by the check-out counter, Willow was joking about how Giles made a clucking sound with his tongue when he was too English to express his anger.  Buffy chuckled, and then, of course, Giles popped up from behind the counter.

“Hi, Giles!” she greeted, shooting a look at Willow, who blushed wildly as she turned to face the Watcher..

“Oh hi,” she stammered.  “Been there long?”

Fortunately for her, Giles seemed distracted, shuffling through some papers behind the counter.  He greeted Buffy inattentively, before asking for her help on something related to Acathla.  At the mention of the demon whose whole ‘wake up and swallow the world’ thing had forced her to send Angel to hell, Buffy’s chest tightened, and her stomach sank.  She was in a better place after last night, but Willow and Giles were the last two people with whom she wanted to discuss the topic.  _Actually, no. **Xander** ’s the person I least wanna talk about Angel with._ 

But Giles had been tortured by Angelus before the big battle, and Willow had fought off the aftereffects of a concussion to try to perform the spell to restore Angel’s soul.  A spell that had worked, but Buffy hadn’t told anyone else that, other than Faith.  And she wasn’t planning on sharing.  It was better for everyone if they left the past in the past.  He was never coming back.  So, she tried to deflect with humor.

”Giles, contain yourself,” she scolded jokingly.  “Yes, I'm back in school, but you know how it embarrasses me when you **_gush_** so.  Let's just skip all that and get straight to work.”  He finally looked at her, confused as first then a little guilty.

“Oh, ahhhh... Well, I, um... Well-w... O-o-of course, it's wonderful to have you back, i-i-it goes without saying.”  She raised her eyebrows at him but smiled as she did so.  He winced in the most uptight British way, then softened.  “But... you enjoy making me say it, don't you?”  He put his glasses back on as he turned back to his search, and Buffy figured that was good enough. 

Guessing that he wouldn’t let this go, Buffy asked, “Okay, Acathla, huh?  What are you doing, making him some demon pizza?”  _Stick with the funny.  You’re doing fine here, Buffy; you just have to convince Giles, and then you can move on with your life._

As Giles responded, completely ignoring her flippant tone, she played around with the bowl of herbs on the counter, then picked up a bundle of funny-smelling … ** _something_** , holding it out to Willow and making a face.  The redhead grinned back at her.

“We need to make sure that he remains dormant and that the dimensional vortex is sealed tight. So, I'm working on a binding spell.”

“Oh, a spell? Can I help?” Willow’s voice raised with barely constrained excitement.  Buffy wondered if Giles knew how big into the magic Willow had gotten over the summer.  She guessed not, given his drab answer.

“Possibly, with the **_research_**.”  He emphasized that, making it clear she could definitely not help with the actual spell part.  His eyes darted back and forth.  “It's very sensitive and...”

Willow couldn’t help herself, talking over his cautious words.  “Ugh!  Who's more sensitive than me?” she pleaded.

“...and **_difficult_** spell.  Again with the emphasis, and this time he gave her a very scolding look.  “It involves creating a- a-a protective circle around... Well, I don't want to bore you with the details, but, uh, well…“  He stumbled over his words, very unlike Giles.  As if his mind were elsewhere.  That or he was nervous about having this conversation.  “There’s a litany th-th-that one has to recite in Aramaic, and it's very specific. So, I need to get a few details about your experience of defeating Acathla and Angel.”  He turned away again, his voice softening as he mentioned the vampire’s name.

Buffy kept her voice light.  “Fire away.”

“I've put the time at about, um, 6:17, around, about half an hour after Xander rescued me.”  He posed it as a question, looking for confirmation.

“Less. More like ten minutes.”

“Oh, was the vortex already open?”

“Barely.”

“I see. And Angel?”

Buffy tensed, then forced herself to let go again.  She shrugged, then explained coolly, “Big fight, Angel got the pointy end of the sword, Acathla sucked him into hell instead of the world. That's about the it.” 

The difference between this conversation and the one she had with Faith the night before was stark. With Faith, it had been painful, almost overwhelmingly so.  But she felt safe and comfortable.  Enough that she could tell the whole story and just … let herself feel the powerful emotions that came along with it.  Faith had been pretty obviously uncomfortable with it, but she never made Buffy feel like she needed to censor herself or like she didn’t have a right to feel a particular way.  With Giles, it was more like a very tense dance.  It was important to her that he give him only as much information as he needed, and then move on as quickly as possible.  Getting back into the drama of it would only hurt him, and she didn’t want to deal with the look she would get from Willow if her friend knew that she had slain, not the grossly evil Angelus, but a confused and scared Angel.  Buffy was done going in circles on this.

Giles didn’t look at her, scribbling down some notes.  He didn’t seem particularly concerned about this spell, and she wondered if he had ulterior motives.  “Yes, well, that, um... should be very helpful.”

Buffy checked her watch, seeing that she had lingered for too long.  “Oh, no, I have to go take an English makeup exam.”  She picked up her books, then asked uneasily, “They give you credit just for speaking it, right?”

Giles and Willow just looked at her, and oh hey, there was that sinking feeling again.

~~~~

That night, the whole gang was hanging at the Bronze, and Faith had agreed to meet them there.  Buffy had managed to mostly smooth over things with Willow and Xander at lunch, having made everyone a fancy picnic that they ate in the small park just across from the school.  Xander had moved on from judgmental and was back in his full gross boy mode.  Fortunately, Buffy was used to it, and it was a definite improvement on his behavior from the night of the walking dead.  Besides, Cordy was pretty dependable to rein him in, and Buffy had no issues punching him when it was called for.

If only they didn’t keep trying to pair her up with Scott Hope.  Just because everyone else was all coupley didn’t mean Buffy needed to be.  Scott was a nice enough boy, cute in a really sweet way.  The opposite of Angel.  She’d had a crush on Scott when she first moved to Sunnydale, and she knew that at some point she needed to move on from Angel.  But she wasn’t ready yet, and she just didn’t really see Scott in that way anymore. If only she knew how to tell Willow that. 

The boy had come over to the couches and chairs where Willow, Oz, and Buffy had all posted up, but Buffy’s attention was on the door.  Scott tried to make small talk, asking her if she liked the song.  The band at the Bronze that night, the Darling Violetta, had played there before, and she liked them well enough.  But she honestly wasn’t paying attention to the music.  She wanted to welcome Faith into the group the minute she got there.  Then Scott asked her to dance, and she had to politely turn him down.

Willow immediately reprimanded her.  “Come on, Buffy. I mean, the guy is charming, a-and normal, which is what you wanted to get back to, right?”  Buffy wasn’t sure normal was ever really going to be a thing in her life. 

Oz, ever the good boyfriend to Willow, added, “Plus bonus points for use of the word 'mosey'.”

She shook her head.  _Where is Faith?_ “I just don't think I'm ready,” she answered, shooting a quick look at Willow to make her point.  But the fledgling witch had gained some confidence over the summer, and she just kept pushing.

“What's stopping you?”  Fortunately, Cordelia and Xander interrupted the thought, coming around the corner with drinks in hand.

Cordy wasted no time in making an off-color remark.  “Check out Slut-O-Rama and her Disco Dave.”  She pointed towards the dance floor, which Buffy hadn’t really paid any attention to since they arrived.  There, towards the center of the sparse crowd, was Faith.  She was in an outrageous outfit, a black tank top with some sort of tassley boob window and matching arm warmers.  Her pants were bright and patterned in a way that looked vaguely like … **_faux snakeskin?_   **_I guess?_   It was a look, and Buffy felt like Faith was the only person in the world brave enough to even try it.  And sure enough, she was dancing with a guy who was oh so painfully obvious in his vampiness, as if he had been plucked out of the ‘70s and dropped down onto the dance floor.  Buffy grinned, but she wondered how long Faith had been there.  _Why didn’t I notice her?_

Buffy wasn’t sure if Cordelia just didn’t recognize the other Slayer from the night before or if she just didn’t care, but Buffy wasn’t about to stand for her petty insults about Faith’s appearance.  She stood, glaring at the mean girl, before snarling, “Actually, that’s Faith.  She’s a Slayer, and if you had any kind of brain in your head, it’d be obvious to you that ‘Disco Dave’ is a vampire.” 

She took off to join Faith before Cordy could attempt any sort of comeback, and Buffy only felt slightly guilty as she moved quickly past Scott without a word.  She took up a position behind the vampire, far enough away that he didn’t notice her but close enough that she could catch Faith’s eyes.  The brunette grinned as she noticed the blonde, and Buffy made a face like she was a vampire, to signal that she knew what Faith was doing.  Faith nodded, then put an arm over the guy, gesturing behind her towards the back door.  They took off, arm in arm, still slightly dancing in a way that didn’t fit the music at all.  Buffy had to work not to laugh as she followed at a distance.

Faith let the vampire lead her out into the alley and back around the dumpster.  She was playing the naïve victim role now, and the guy was dumb enough that he didn’t even question the change in demeanor.  He was thinking only about an easy meal.  As he vamped out, he pushed her against the wall and ordered her to stay still.

“This’ll only hurt a little,” he menaced, and that’s when she leapt into action.  With a fierce growl, she grabbed him around the throat before punching him hard enough to put him on his back foot.  Then she jumped onto a nearby crate, pushing off to spin a kick into his face.  As she landed, she blew a kiss towards Buffy, who was content to watch for once, unless Faith got into trouble.  Buffy didn’t think much of it; she was sure Faith was just being playful, like always. 

Just as the Scoobies came up behind her, the vampire tried to grab Faith from behind.  She smirked, grabbing hold of his outstretched arms and slamming the back of her head into the front of his.  Then she fluidly flipped him around and tossed him against the wall.  Faith continued beating up on him a little, clearly enjoying the audience, but eventually she threw him to the ground.  Moving to end the battle, she clapped at Buffy, raising her eyebrows, and Buffy tossed her the stake out of her purse.  Faith jumped back as the guy ran at her again, allowing him to crash into the wall and then staking him in the back. 

Flipping the stake up and catching it playfully, Faith beamed at Buffy.  “Couldn’t’ve done it without ya, B.”  Buffy was almost taken aback as the other Slayer casually slung an arm around her as she surveyed the four other teens.  “These your Scoobies?”

“These are them,” Buffy confirmed, trying not to laugh at the way her friends seemed dumbfounded by the brunette’s strutting appearance.  “Let’s head back inside, and I’ll make formal introductions.”  Xander and Willow moved further apart to make way as the Slayers sauntered through the middle of the group, leading everyone back inside.  Fortunately, no one had taken their seats in the short Slaying intermission.

Buffy and Faith parted, with Buffy taking her favorite comfy lounge chair and Faith walking around the small coffee table to settle into a taller chair directly across from Buffy.  Xander and Cordy settled in on the couch, and Oz and Willow each took a chair between Buffy and Faith.  The other Slayer grabbed the arm of a server walking by, asking for a plate of muffins.  Then, Buffy cleared her throat.

“So, technically everyone met last night, but everyone, this is Faith.  She’s a Slayer, like me.  Faith, this is—” she pointed to each person as she called out names, “—Willow, Oz, Cordelia, and Xander.”

“’Sup guys, nice to meet ya when you’re not ganging up on Buffy for going through something rough, ya know?”  Buffy immediately shot her an admonishing look.

“ ** _Faith_**.  We’re past it.  Letting it go.”  Buffy uneasily checked out her friends reactions.  Cordelia and Willow actually looked a little guilty.  Oz was as stoic as ever.  And Xander was too busy staring at Faith to be offended.  Buffy shook her head.

Faith put her hands up.  “Fine, fine.  If you say so.  Not here to bust anyone’s chops, so long as you’re cool.  And since we’re all friends now, how did everyone like the show?”

“It was definitely a show!” Xander chortled, and Buffy and Cordelia both glared at him.  His attention stayed focused on Faith, though.  “So, a new Slayer?  You got any fun Slayer stories?” 

Faith’s eyes lit up at the question.  “Well, there was this one time I had to wrestle this demon alligator…”  Another thought struck her., as if she just remembered a much better story.  “But first, there was another time, in the hottest Boston summer I could remember.”  As she entered into a lively story about slaying three vamps while in the nude, the server returned with their muffins.  Xander continued to stare and gape at Faith, but Buffy left it to Cordy to deal with his piggishness.  Instead, she focused on Faith, who was showing off another side that Buffy hadn’t realized she had.  The brunette absolutely fed off of the attention, practically glowing as she showed off her storytelling chops.  Everyone else was every bit as captivated as Buffy, and a mix of emotions swirled inside her.  Genuine interest intermingled with a spark of jealousy at the other Slayer’s brand of bravado and freeness.  She’d only known Faith for like a week, and she wasn’t quite sure how to feel about her.  But the girl made an impression.

“So, I waste the vamps, and the preacher comes up, and he's hugging me like there's no tomorrow—” Buffy chuckled at that, trying not to blush as her mind unintentionally leapt to the thought of a nude Faith dusting a vamp. “—when all of a sudden, the cops pull up and they arrested us both.”  Suddenly noticing the muffins, Faith reached out for one and ate half of it in one bite.

“Wow. They should film that story and show it every Christmas.”  If Buffy was sitting closer to Xander, she would’ve punched him.  Cordelia seemed content to sit there with her arms and legs crossed, icily glaring at the back of his head.

Faith finished off the muffin and grabbed another.  “God, I could eat a horse.”  She gave Buffy a knowing look.  “Isn't it crazy how slayin' just always makes you hungry and horny?”  Everyone turned to see how Buffy would respond, and she blushed wildly.

 _Crap._   Buffy was frustrated at being put on the spot, beyond embarrassed.  Because **_of course_** she did, but no one was supposed to know that.  For the first time, Buffy felt like Faith’s bluntness was less than great.  She managed to sputter out an awkward, “Well, sometimes I-I crave a nonfat yogurt afterwards.”

Fortunately, Cordelia chimed in, drawing the focus away from Buffy.  “I get it!”  Buffy felt confused by the admission, and Faith just looked at her like ‘ ** _yeah_** , _you do._ ’  Cordy immediately clarified.  “Not the horny thing,” she scolded as she gave Faith a knowing yet disdainful look.  “Yuck!  But the two Slayers thing. There was one, and then Buffy died for, like, two minutes, so then Kendra was called, and then when she died, **_Faith_** was called.” 

Buffy’s heart fell a little.  She and Kendra hadn’t been particularly close, but her murder by Drusilla had hurt.  And while the charges had since been dropped, getting blamed for her murder wasn’t a particularly fond memory either. 

“But why were you called **_here_**?” Willow asked, curious.

“Well, I wasn't.”  Faith’s face fell a little, and she swallowed the remains of the second muffin while she thought about how to answer that question.  Hoping to spare her the necessity of opening up about her tragic backstory, Buffy tried to explain.

“Faith’s Watcher was killed in action, so she decided it was time for a change of scenery.”  The brunette looked pointedly at Buffy, apparently frustrated, and she wondered if she had misread the situation.  Faith had been so open about nude slaying, she didn’t figure it’d be a big deal to be honest about the reason she was in town.  It wasn’t like Buffy even knew any of the details. 

But Faith immediately recovered her aloof demeanor, taking another bite of muffin before shrugging.  “I figured this was my chance to meet the infamous Buff and compare notes.”  Buffy caught Willow’s eyes, urging her not to dig any further.  Faith continued as if nothing was amiss.  “So, B,” she said slyly, “did you really use a rocket launcher one time?”

Buffy tensed.  “Uh, yeah, … actually, it's a funny story. There was—”

Xander cut her off, asking Faith, “So what was the, uh, story about that alligator?  You, uh, said something... before.”  Faith gave him an open look of pure and utter disgust.

“Hey, asshole, B was talkin’.”  That seemed to break whatever spell Xander was under, and he looked around the group as if realizing what a creep he was being.

“Sorry, Buff,” he muttered.

She smiled warmly at Faith, then continued.  “Yeah, so that was right after Angel turned.”  Willow gasped, and Xander frowned.

“You told her about Angel?”  Willow sounded legitimately shocked.

“Yeah, I told her … everything,” Buffy said softly.  She shook off the sudden sadness in her chest.  “Anyway, Angelus was working with two of the vampires he has sired way back when, Spike and Drusilla, and they had assembled all the scattered body parts of this big demon judge guy.  He could burn the souls from people and supposedly couldn’t be killed by any weapon forged.  Lucky for me, that rule only really applied to weapons forged way back before he got ripped into pieces and stored in little boxes all over the world.”

“Betcha he didn’t see you comin’ then.  So you made with the big boom, and that took this Judge guy out?”  Faith leaned in towards Buffy, eyes wide in expectation.

Buffy nodded.  “Caused hella damage to that part of the mall, but the people whose souls he was trying to get all flamey with didn’t seem to mind.”

“Badass.”  Faith seemed impressed, but Buffy noticed that Willow and Xander were less so.  They both seemed a little unnerved that Buffy not only had told Faith about Angel, but was able to make it through the story so easily.  Buffy blew out a heavy breath.  It wasn’t easy, not exactly.  But she knew she had been avoiding the topic with her friends, so she could understand why they would be confused.  Unfortunately for them, she wasn’t in the mood to explain herself.

“Now, I wanna hear about these alligators.”  She didn’t have to ask Faith twice, and the brunette launched into the tale.  Apparently a vampire in Missouri had been raising these twelve-foot-long demon gators, and Faith had been tossed into a pit with three of them.  As she recounted the harrowing tale, Buffy cautiously glanced at Willow and Xander, hoping that Faith could distract them away from the previous topic.  Xander was easy, but Willow met her gaze.  She was clearly still worried.  But for once, it felt like the universe was on Buffy’s side.

As Faith finished the story, Oz suddenly spoke up, his tone more than a little concerned.  At least, for Oz anyway.  “Something occurring. Uh, now, you both kill vamps, and who could blame you?  But, I'm, I'm wondering about your position on werewolves.

Willow was immediately focused on her boyfriend instead of Buffy, putting a hand on his shoulder as she explained that he was a werewolf.  Faith had seemed a little wary last night when Buffy told her about her past relationship with a vampire, so Buffy spoke up cautiously.  

“It's a long story”

In a deadpan, Oz said, “I got bit.” 

Buffy felt kinda stupid after that, muttering, “Apparently not that long.”  She looked anxiously at Faith, hoping she was cool about this.

The other Slayer just shrugged.  “Hey, as long as you don't go scratchin' at me or humpin' my leg, we're five by five, you know?”  This was the second time Buffy had heard Faith use this strange phrase, and from context, she was beginning to understand that it meant she was cool with someone.  She wondered where Faith had picked up such a strange idiom.  The brunette locked eyes with Buffy, and she saw a fire behind them.  But the rest of her face was practically beaming at Buffy.  “The vamps, though, they better get their asses to Defcon One, 'cause you and I are gonna have fun, you know.”

Slaying had never really been something she had thought of as fun, exactly, but maybe with Faith it could be.  Maybe it didn’t have to be this heavy burden of duty.  She smiled hopefully.

~~~~

Faith was more than a little surprised that Buffy and her Scoobies hung out in their high school’s library, where anyone could just walk in and out.  But apparently, her Watcher’s cover was that of a school librarian, and the students of Sunnydale High were not exactly big readers.  She still thought it was wicked strange.

Buffy’s Watcher was, in fact, the British guy Faith had run into that night with the zombies. She guessed that Buffy had already told this Giles guy that Faith’s Watcher was dead, and she actively tried not to be annoyed with Buffy for blabbing her business to everyone.  Diana’s murder was still a really sore spot for her, and there was also the not small matter of Kakistos still being out there.

“You have my condolences, Faith.  That’s tragic, especially so early into your tenure as the Slayer.  But we are, obviously, glad that you survived, and that you decided to seek us out.”

“Yeah well, Boston was kind of a hell hole anyway,” Faith deflected.  “Diana and I were already packing our bags even before that.”

“Diana … Dormer?” he asked, face full of recognition.

“Yeah, you knew her?”  She did her best to seem aloof.  The last thing she needed was to fall apart in front of a bunch of strangers. 

“Not well, no, but I always admired her work.  No one told me that she was …  well, that this had happened.”  Faith wasn’t surprised by that.  It wasn’t like she had told anyone.  She didn’t really have any clue how the Watcher’s Council worked, but she doubted Kakistos had sent them a report or anything.

“Yeah, well, she was a cool chick.  She always had my back.”  She broke off, pacing away a little before turning back to the group.   “But that’s the past.  Let’s leave it there.  Surely the Hellmouth has got wicked evil for us to be takin’ on?”

Giles gave a her a soft, sympathetic look, and she glanced away.  She wasn’t looking for anyone’s pity.  So, she dialed up the humor, looking for a way to catch Giles off his guard.  In the light of day, he was a hell of a lot better looking than Faith had realized.  She guessed he was probably in his early forties, and he was definitely working the sexy librarian motif.  She didn’t realize suspenders could, you know, look good on someone.  But they **_definitely_** could.  Buffy had just introduced them, and Faith couldn’t help herself.

“Hell B, if I’d’ve known they came **_this_** young and cute, I would’ve requested a transfer.”  Her brazen compliment accomplished its goal, as the older man blushed ever so slightly, then took off his glances to direct attention away from his face as he moved to clean them.

Buffy was very not feeling it.  “Uhh, raise your hand if ‘ew’.”  That seemed like a really rude thing to say, but she and Xander both raised their hands.  Willow, though, very noticeably kept her hands at her side, and Faith shot her a knowing wink.  Then she turned to Buffy, leaning in so her lips nearly touched her ear as she whispered, "Hey now, B, wasn't your last beau like 200 years old? Hypocrite much?"  Faith snickered as Buffy turned an offended glare on her. 

But hey, it turned out Giles was witty on top of being cute.  He quipped in such a dry, British way, “Well, uh, leaving aside for a moment my, uh, youth and beauty, I’d say it was, um, fortuitous that Faith arrived when she did.” 

As he handed Buffy the local newspaper, Willow randomly shot a finger into the air and snapped, “Aha!”  Everyone stared at the unusual outburst, and Red wilted just a little.  “Sorry. I just meant … Aha!  There's big evil brewin’.  You'll never be bored here, Faith.  ‘Cause this is Sunnydale, home of the big brewwwwwin' evil.”  Faith grinned at her before eying Buffy.  She had little doubt about the lack of boring, and she tried not to focus too hard on how incredible Buffy’s cleavage looked in that top.

Giles cleared his throat.  “Yes, well, I don't know how big an evil it is, but, uh, two people have disappeared from the Sunset Ridge District.” Faith glanced over to scan the article Buffy was reading, gripping the edge of it so she could see better.  Her pinky grazed the top of Buffy’s hand, but the other Slayer didn’t react.  She also didn’t move her hand, and Faith felt a little tingly at the slight touch.

“Well, I'm good for patrolling.”  She turned to Faith, whose hand returned to her side as Buffy handed the paper to Xander.  “You down?”

“Always down for a spot of violence, B.”

Buffy’s eyes lingered on her own, and Faith tried not to read too much into it.  Then Willow interrupted.  “Hey, don't you have that health science makeup?”

Buffy blinked rapidly, then turned to Willow.  “Oh, yeah. It’s a little later though.  Actually, I could use a little coaching.”  But Willow’s attention was back on Faith, as she hopped off the table, smiling.  Beside her, Xander grabbed his things.

Willow asked Faith, “You know, you can hang out with us while she's testing. You wanna?”  Faith glanced at Buffy, whose expression was unreadable.

Xander added, “Say yes and, uh, bring your stories.” Then he touched her shoulder and smiled as he walked out.  Faith tried her best not to visibly shudder at the contact.

Faith decided it would be a good idea to get to know Buffy’s friends, and she had nothing better to do.  She had the strong sense that she was going to have to work hard not to end up breaking a couple of Xander’s fingers, though.  Buffy looked a little sad all of a sudden.  “You guys go. It's fine. Fine! I'll just... sit.”  Faith worried that Buffy was feeling isolated again, and as nice as it was to be invited to things, she didn’t wanna step on Buffy’s toes.

“Hey, B, you—”

“Actually, Faith, could I have a few minutes alone with Buffy?”  She searched Buffy’s eyes for confirmation, and the blonde nodded.

“Okay, if you’re cool here.”  Faith glanced back at Giles as she started towards the doors.  “And later, **_we_** will talk weapons.”  That went as well as she could’ve expected.  She just hoped he wouldn’t bring Diana up again.  As she turned the corner into the hall, Xander and Willow were waiting for her.  She followed along, only half listening, as they gave her a tour of the school.

They led her down the hall, out across a courtyard, and then finally through a big set of doors into— _surprise!_ —another hallway.  Willow excitedly pointed at a door, which led to the cafeteria where they had all been mauled by snakes.

“And this is the spot where Angel tried to kill Willow.”  Faith got the impression that Xander really hated Angel, and she eyed him suspiciously.  _This guy’s got a wicked hot girlfriend like Cordelia, but he’s still carryin’ a torch for B, isn’t he?_   Willow pointed out that Spike and his gang nearly massacred everyone at a Parent-Teacher night, and as dull as most of the tour had been, Faith got the feeling she was gonna like this town.  They continued a bit until they stopped in front of a stairwell.

Faith grinned and laughed as if she was really into all this.  “You guys are a hoot and a half.  If I'd had friends like you in high school, I ... probably still would've dropped out.”  _More like expelled, but hell if I’m telling queen of the bookworms that._ “But I might've been sad about it, you know?”

Willow and Xander grinned at her.  She guessed they were nice enough.  Well, Willow was at least.  But she was still wary of them.  She was the newcomer to the group, and she knew how these things went.  They were only acting nice because Buffy wanted her around.  What’s more, she didn’t trust them for a second.  Not after that first impression.  If that’s how they treated their best friend, how awful would they be to a perfect stranger?

“Oh hey, water,” she said, before ducking away towards the nearby water fountain.  She overheard Cordelia joining the other two and promptly scolding Xander for what Faith could only assume was the five-hundredth time.  It was a mystery to her what the perfectly tanned brunette saw in this guy.

“What is it with you and Slayers?”  _Yup, definitely carrying a torch for B._   “Maybe I should dress up as one and put a stake to your throat.  _And maybe you should go ahead and push it all the way through._   Faith shook off the overly morbid thought.  She pushed up and turned from the fountain, running straight into someone.

The shorter guy had dark hair and a bad haircut.  But he looked familiar.  “Sorry.”  She eyed him up and down. “I know you from somewhere.”

He thought for a second, then answered.  “The Bronze. You're friends with Buffy, right?”

 _Oh yeah, this was the kid that was standing sadly off to the side of the dance floor, pining when Buffy came to dance with me and that vamp._ She held out her hand.  “Yeah. I'm Faith.”

He shook her hand, introducing himself as Scott.  Things got immediately awkward as he continued to stand there rather than heading off to wherever he was going.  “So, how do you know Buffy?”

She smirked.  This guy’s crush was painfully obvious.  “Ah, ya know, a little of this, a little of that.  We hung out this summer in LA.” 

He smiled at her, apparently sincere.  “That’s so cool.  I know it’s close, but I’ve never actually been.  So, are you uh transferring here?”

Faith chuckled before responding, “No way, my dude.  School’s not really my thing.  I’m just here to live it up, have some fun.  See what happens.”  He nodded, laughing with her as if he had any clue what she was talking about.

“Wow, are you … I mean, I assumed you were a senior like us but…”

“Nah, I’m actually sixteen.  Well, almost seventeen.  I’d be a junior.  I just don’t really see the point.”  Now she was growing tired of the conversation, but she was facing away from the others and couldn’t see what they were doing.  She bounced a little, impatiently trying to figure out how to extricate herself from this conversation.  However, before she could blow him off, he said something actually kind of nice.

“That’s so off the beaten path.  Good for you.  I can’t even imagine … you’re a lot braver than me.”  Faith guessed she had been expecting judgment.  Everyone assumed the worst when they heard that you’re a high school dropout.  Faith raised an eyebrow.  She guessed that she could see the appeal of this Scott, if bland nice guys were your thing. 

Faith crossed her arms as she found herself really hoping that bland nice guys were not Buffy’s thing.  And that’s when Buffy popped in beside her with a bright, “Hey!”

Scott’s face lit up.  “Hey, Buffy!  Uh, Faith has been telling me tall tales.”  _Tall tales?  Really?_

Buffy grinned, eyes shifting to Faith.  “She's funny.” Then she grabbed Faith’s  right hand with her own, pulling it down and wrapping her hand around Faith’s wrist.  A pulse of electricity shot from Buffy’s skin to her own.  Or maybe she imagined that.  “And she's leaving. We have to go.”  Buffy released her wrist, but took her arm with her left hand and led Faith away.

“My hero,” Faith quipped, drawing a blush to Buffy’s cheek.  But her hand was still on Faith’s arm, and she suddenly felt like she couldn’t really handle that.  She pulled her arm away, then leaned in to whisper, “That dude so totally has a crush on you, B.”  Buffy looked at her surprised.  _And maybe a little disappointed?  No, I’m definitely imagining things._  

Buffy sighed.  “I know.  And my friends keep trying to push me to date him.  Or at least … they **_were_** pushing me to date him.”  Faith sensed some tension there, but didn’t push it.  “Anyways, I’m just not really feelin’ it.”

“Still hung up on Angel?”  The words were out of Faith’s mouth before she could think, and she winced, hoping that didn’t set Buffy off.  But the blonde kept walking, seemingly unfazed.

“Maybe a little, but it’s getting better.  I just … I don’t **_have_** to be dating someone, do I?”  Faith smiled softly.

“Nah, B.  Boys are overrated anyway.”

~~~~

“Nice place.  Do you ever catch kids doing the diddy out here?”  She glanced around, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at Buffy.  They were walking through cemetery number three, with no vamp action so far, and Faith figured it was as good a time as any to make some jokes.  And see if she couldn’t make Buffy squirm a little.

“Nah,” Buffy murmured before explaining that there was a ‘smooch spot’ up by the woods.  She looked way too cute in her pigtails and baby blue sweater.  Not at all the sort of patrolling outfit Faith would pick out, but the blonde made it work.  It gave her a sort of innocence that was oddly appealing.  Realizing where her thoughts were going, Faith rushed to compensate.

“You uh, planning on getting Scott up there anytime soon?  Ya know, kick the gearshift a little?”  She grinned, trying to hide the fact that she was paying close attention to Buffy’s reaction. 

Her eyebrows furrowed just a little as she gave Faith a look like the question was silly.  “ ** _Hardly_.  ** Don’t tell me Willow’s got you in on this too.”  She hadn’t, but Faith was more than a little worried Buffy might catch onto the nervous energy that flooded her system anytime Faith was alone with her.

“Nope.  I just over here, livin’ large and enjoying myself.  Curious about you, though … I mean, come on, you like him, right?  You tryin’ to tell me that when you think about him, you don’t get that good, **_down-low_ ** tickle?”

“I don’t know, maybe,” Buffy answered absently, before her eyes widened.  “Wait.  **_How_** low?”

Faith laughed, trying to hide the fact that her palms were sweaty and her heart was beating faster than normal.  “You tell me,” she cooed.  

“How about not?” Buffy said wryly.  Faith wasn’t sure if she should count that as a win or a loss.  “But he is—” Buffy sighed, “— ** _nice_** , and he's funny.

“And **_quite_** a muffin,” Faith teased.  _Shit.  Why am I trying to push her towards the boring white bread?_   Deep down, Faith knew why.  But she couldn’t let herself hope for that.  Not unless she had more confidence that she wouldn’t make an absolute idiot out of herself.

Buffy smiled at her, deciding to play along.  “Blueberry. That crunchy, munchy stuff on top. …. But, if I’m being honest, my most favorite thing is that he doesn't seem to be any kind of hell beast.”  _Not yet, anyway._

“ ** _All_** men are beasts, Buffy.”  Faith didn’t look over at Buffy, not yet.  She meant every word, but she definitely wasn’t looking to get into any sort of deep conversation about her issues with Men.

Buffy didn’t seem to take her that seriously, though.  “Ooookay, well I was hoping to not get that cynical till I was at least forty.”

“It's **_not_** cynical. I mean, it's realistic. Every guy from... Manimal down to Mr. ‘I Love The English Patient’ has beast in him.”  The fact that Scott was definitely of the latter variety didn’t make him any less of a man.  “And I don't care how sensitive they act.  They're all still just in it for the chase.” 

Faith knew from experience.  Men wanted to use you, if not for sex, then for emotional support or so that they looked better because they’re with you, or just so they had someone to feel powerful over.  Internally, she cringed.  _Such a hypocrite.  Push her towards Scott, then tell her she can never trust him._   Faith felt like such a mess, but she didn’t know how to get control of herself around Buffy.

And clearly, she was making the shorter Slayer feel uncomfortable.  “Enough about boys.  Tell me a little about your training with Diana.”  Faith tensed, and Buffy definitely noticed.  “Sorry, I just mean.  Have you studied martial arts?  What kinda weapons have you worked with?  That sorta thing.”

She relaxed a little, coming to a stop and facing Buffy.  “Hell, B, I can throw down with anyone.  You ever feel like your bottle needs uncorking, let’s have us a sparring match.”  Faith hadn’t intended to be **_that_** provocative, but oh well, it was out there now. 

Buffy looked as though she couldn’t tell if Faith was serious or not.  “I think you should be careful about biting off more than you can chew.”  Her eyes sparkled, and her voice was playful but charged.

“Did I just hear a threat?” Faith asked, taking a step towards Buffy with a grin.

Buffy’s eyebrows raised as she bobbed her head just a little.  “Would you like to?”

“Wowww.  Okay.  Whaddya think?  Think you can take me?”  She playfully shoved Buffy’s shoulder, butterflies swarming in her gut at the thought of where this was maybe going.

Buffy moved a little closer, mere inches separating them.  She stood as tall as she could, exuding strength and confidence.  Their eyes were locked, and the gravity between them felt intense.  “Yeah,” Buffy whispered, cocky even though her voice was quiet.  Then the spell broke as her eyes darted behind Faith.  “I just hope they can’t.”

She shoved Faith to the side to protect her from the oncoming vampire, and Faith rolled before finding her feet again.  She caught a glimpse of Buffy taking on two of them before the third was on her.  Faith avoided an attack, then grabbed a nearby trashcan and slammed it down forcefully over the vampire’s torso, sending him tumbling away.  She heard the tell-tale sound of Buffy dusting one of the vamps, then grunts as she struggled with the other. 

A fourth vampire caught her by surprise, punching her in the face as she turned.  She blocked the next two blows before decking the guy.  “My dead mother hits harder than that,” she taunted, as she spun him and tossed him over a gravestone.  Her juices were really flowing now.  Faith lived for the fight.  The other vamp was just barely managing to get free of the trashcan,  She swiftly kicked him in the gut, drawing an angry growl as he tossed the trashcan off his head and blindly reached for her.  She delivered another kick to his face, then was grabbed from behind by the fourth guy.  She elbowed him in the face, allowing her enough time to stake trashcan guy before facing her sole remaining opponent.  She was focused now, and her blood was pumping. 

As she circled him, he said something that chilled her to the bone.  “For Kakistos we live!  For Kakistos you'll **_die_**!”  Caught off guard, she didn’t move fast enough to completely block his blow, and they scuffled for a moment.  They traded blows and then she threw him hard to the ground.  She was on him an instant later, crouching just low enough to pummel his face with blow after blow.

Buffy was shouting something at her, but Faith couldn’t hear.  She was two busy shouting at the vampire as she beat him bloody.  “This is **_me_** , you undead bastard.”  For a half second, she was back in Boston, the night before everything had gone south.  They would pay for what they did to her.  They would **_pay._**   “You!  Can’t!  Touch!  Me!”  Each shout was punctuated by another shot to his face. 

And then Buffy’s hand was on her wrist, holding tight to stop her fury.  Faith was panting, and it was only then that she realized the vampire had already gone still.  She leapt off him, coming out of her bloodlust all at once.  Buffy calmly and quickly staked the unmoving form, turning it to dust.  In a heartbeat, she was back in Faith’s face.

“What is **_wrong_** with you?”

Faith wouldn’t meet her questioning gaze, but she wasn’t about to back down either.  “What?  What are you talking about?”

Buffy’s voice was more worried than angry, though there was definitely anger there.  “I'm talking about you 'living large' on that vampire’s face!”

Something about hearing her own words really set Faith off.  “Gee, if doing violence to vampires upsets you, I think you're in the wrong line of work!

Buffy bristled at that.  “Maybe you like it a little **_too_** much.”

“Whatever, I was getting the job done.”  She so didn’t need to be talked down to by someone who had no idea what she’d been through.  But Buffy wasn’t backing down.

“The job is to slay demons!   ** _Not_** beat them to a bloody pulp while their friends corner me!”  That broke through the rush of anger and fear Faith was feeling.  She hadn’t realized Buffy was in danger.  A sharp pang of guilt deflated her.

“Sorry,” she said softly.  “I thought you could handle yourself.”  Faith turned and walked off, feeling the sudden urge to be very, **_very_** far away.  _Kakistos._   She broke into a run, no longer caring about what it looked like to Buffy.  _He found me._ She saw Diana ripped in half by the ancient vampire’s massive cloven hands, gore and guts dropping with a sickening squelch to the ground as he laughed at her tears.  She closed her eyes, trying to force the images away, and then she tripped, toppling to the ground forcefully.

“Faith!”  She pulled herself up, wrapping her arms around her knees, and the tears were coming hard and fast now.  _Fuck._   She didn’t want Buffy to see her like this.  Pain radiated in her palms and knees where she had hit the ground at full speed.  Then soft hands were on her forearms.  “Hey, hey, are you okay?”  She couldn’t speak through the tears so she only shook her head.  _Isn’t that fucking obvious?_   Buffy’s hands rubbed up and down her forearms, trying to soothe her.  “It’s okay.  You need to tell me what’s going on.”

“Kakistos,” she managed to gasp out. 

“I heard one of the vamps saying that.  Is that a name?”  Faith nodded, still unable to meet Buffy’s eyes.  At least the tears were stopping.  She hated crying..  Even moreso when people could see her.

“Some big bad then?  Why are you so—” Buffy went silent.  Faith’s eyes darted up, and she could see that the other Slayer was putting it together.  “That’s who killed your Watcher.”  It wasn’t a question, and Faith felt so exposed in that moment.  Emotionally speaking.

“They don’t have a word for what he did to her,” she whispered, and now she was afraid again.  Her heart was racing, and she felt like she couldn’t breathe.  She saw spots on the edge of her vision, and her chest tightened further.

Then Buffy put a hand on her cheek and the world stilled.  She could breathe again.  Faith met her gaze, seeing the naked compassion in those pure green eyes.  “Hey.  You’ve got me now.  We’ll end him.”

Faith shook her head.  “No.  You don’t understand.  I … I was **_there_** when he killed my Watcher.  I saw what he did to her—” her voice broke, “—what he was gonna do to me.  I only **_just_** got away, and I ran.  Like the fucking coward I am.”

“Nope.  You don’t get to do that.” Buffy was firm, and she never broke eye contact.  “The first rule of slaying is that you don’t die.  You did the right thing.  Diana would’ve thought so, too.  But you don’t have to face this alone.”  There was a rustle, then a growl behind them, maybe twenty feet off.  Then another, and another. 

Buffy pulled her to her feet, and that’s when she saw it.  The face that haunted her dreams.  Only now it was even more terrifying, with the jagged scar she had left him over his now apparently blind right eye.  Kakistos was flanked by four other vampires.  Mostly your typical brainless henchmen, but one of them stood out, a sharply dressed black man in a suit.  He was new. 

As they neared the Slayers, Kakistos growled out, “Faith.”  The force of it shook her, but Buffy took a small step forward, moving into a defensive stance between Faith and the demon.  “Kill the blonde; Faith is mine.”  Three of the five charged at them, two rushing Buffy, and the other stalking towards Faith.  Kakistos waited, while the suited guy took his time following up the other three.

“Faith!” Buffy shouted, drawing her attention even as the blonde was fending off the vampires.  “Don’t die!” she urged, tossing Faith the stake she had dropped when she tripped.  She grabbed the stake out of the air and faced her vampire, going out of her way to focus on her and not on Kakistos. 

This one she staked quickly.  She was running on fear now, not anger.  But she hadn’t staked it quick enough, it would seem.  As she pivoted to rush towards Buffy, she ran flat into the solid form of Kakistos.  He was a head taller and twice as thick as the other vampires, wearing that same cliché red robe as last time.  Faith leapt leapt back and lifted her arm to stake him, but she met his gaze and froze.  She was aware that she was hyperventilating, but she couldn’t stop.  He slowly and methodically stepped forward, rage marring his already hideous face, then he wound up and punched her in the face.

She toppled to the ground, falling back against a tree trunk.  She felt completely dazed, like she’d been hit by a truck.  For a half second, she thought about how easily Buffy had shrugged off getting hit by a truck the first time Faith saw her.  Forcing herself to be like Buffy, she scrambled up to her feet as Kakistos approached her again.  She couldn’t find her footing in time, though, and he grabbed her by the front of her shirt, lifting her off the ground.

She screamed, and then he started pounding on her face, same as she had done to his boy only a few minutes earlier.  She couldn’t see straight, and the pain consumed her.  At some point, he hit her so hard that he knocked her out of his own grip.  Everything went dark, and her head was pounding.  She didn’t think she was passed out, and as her vision began to clear, she could see Buffy putting up a good fight against Kakistos.

To her left, she could hear voices.  It was the suited guy and another vampire.  They didn’t seem too keen on helping Kakistos out.  Almost as if they felt pretty sure the Slayers would prevail in the end.  As they turned to sneak away, she overheard him saying something about being a modern vampire who could see the big picture.  And that’s when she saw it.

Behind her, Kakistos roared, “I guess you need a bigger stake, Slayer!”  Then he laughed maniacally at Buffy.  But Faith had it in her hands now.  A thick tree branch, sharp at the end from where it broke off.  Sharp enough, anyway.

“Buffy, move!”  She shouted as she charged at full speed.  Buffy jumped out of the way, and Faith slammed the branch dead into the center of that fucking monster’s chest, with all of her strength.  She felt resistance, but only for a second.  Then the branch slid cleanly through him, and he crumbled to dust around it.  Just like all the rest.

Faith crumbled to the ground, feeling everything—her pain, anguish, anger, fear, and all that hatred—flow out of her.  She felt numb.  Which wasn’t what she expected.  Not that she had ever imagined she’d be able to get her revenge.  But it was done.

_So, now what?_

She sensed Buffy’s presence beside her, and she flinched as the blonde gently put a hand on her brow.  Faith could already feel the bruises forming, and she wondered if she was concussed.  She felt a hand in her hair, then came a soft, “Faith?”

Her eyes found Buffy’s.  She still couldn’t feel anything.  Her eyes darted between Buffy, her own hands, and the pile of dust that had been her nightmare.  “Can you walk?”  She nodded, and the action hurt like a son of a bitch.  She guessed she could feel something after all.  Buffy’s hand moved to her forearm.  “Come on, let’s get you to Giles.  He can check you for a concussion and put some ice on your face.” 

She resisted Buffy’s soft tug at first, then she gave in.  The blonde leaned in again, making sure Faith looked her in the eyes.  “Hey.  You did it.  You faced him, and you won.  It’s over.”  Faith breathed in, and then out.  Then she did it again.  “It’s done.  Let’s get you taken care of, okay?”

Faith smiled weakly.  She felt like absolute shit.  But it was over.  Her running was over.  Maybe someday soon, the nightmares would be over.  Those nightmares anyway.  Maybe Diana could rest in peace now. 

She put her arm around Buffy and let the other Slayer carry her a little as they walked forward.  Faith didn’t bother glancing back.


	4. Baggage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as Buffy is looking to move on, Angel returns. Meanwhile, Faith is healing from her encounter with Kakistos and trying to decide how vulnerable she's willing to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beauty and the Beasts

Buffy, Willow, and Oz were turning the corner off the steps from the courtyard when he called her name.  “Hey Buffy!”  Scott hurried over, his ill-fitting yellow polo sitting uncomfortably under the strap of his backpack.  “That’s what I stopped you for, basically.  Hey”

“Okay,” she responded, a little uncertainly.  But she smiled.  Then Debbie and Pete came up behind him to join the gathering of couples.  She guessed she and Scott were a couple now.  They’d been on a couple dates.  Kissed a few times.  She had fun, but didn’t really think about him much when they weren’t together.  It was … new.  And normal.

 ** _Very_** normal.

Debbie and Pete were Scott’s friends, and she’d been getting to know them the last week.  They were nice enough, though Pete sometimes gave her unsettling vibes that she couldn’t quite explain.  Maybe Faith’s ‘all men are beasts’ take was getting to her. 

It’d been a little over a week since Faith slew Kakistos.  They were planning on going patrolling tonight, now that Giles had finally cleared Faith.  Slayer healing was a blessing, but Kakistos had beaten her up pretty badly.  And it was on Faith’s urging that Buffy had asked Scott out.  Though she still had no idea why Faith cared so much.

The other Slayer hadn’t talked much the first couple of days after, and Buffy gave her the space she seemed to want.  But she made it clear to her that Faith was staying in Sunnydale permanently, and Giles would be her new Watcher.  She wanted to be sure that no matter what Faith was going through, she knew she had a home now.  Still, even as her spirits had brightened, she’d remained fairly distant since that night, even with all of Joyce’s mothering. 

Paying attention to the conversation going on around her, Buffy found herself completely at a loss.  Debbie and Oz were apparently talking about a marching jazz band that Oz was no longer a part of.  Unable to wrap her head around that concept, Buffy changed the subject.  “Those are pretty flowers,” she told Debbie.

“Thanks!  Pete brought them for me,” she said warmly, beaming at the boyfriend who had his arm wrapped around her shoulders possessively.

Pete made an awkward comment about Scott doing the same for Buffy, and the boy immediately became a stammering mess.  “Oh well, we’re not up to flowers.  Are we?  Up to flowers?  Did I miss flowers?” 

Buffy willed herself not to roll her eyes before reassuring him, “No.  We’re pre-posy.  Definitely.”  He seemed relieved at that, and Buffy, eager to escape the conversation, grabbed at his watch.  “Oh!  I have to go see Mr. Platt today.”

“Platt, the school counselor?” Debbie asked, her tone dubious.

“I get to convince him that I'm Little Miss Stable so I can stay in school.”  She wasn’t sure what exactly to expect, and Debbie’s reaction was less than reassuring.

“Platt creeps me out.  I would totally quit going, but I'm flunking senior bio, and my teacher says I have ‘ ** _success_** issues.’”  She chortled, but Buffy didn’t really get the joke.

“Senior bio? I kinda aced that final.”

Willow poked Oz teasingly in the ribs.  “And how did you do that?  Oh, **_right_**.  You showed up!”  Three weeks in, and Willow hadn’t yet tired of poking at Oz for getting held back a year.  He didn’t seem to mind much though.  Buffy smiled.  They were such a cute couple.  Oz assured Debbie she could have his notes, and then the bell rang.

“We'd better go.” She turned to Scott.  “I'll see you.”

“Yep.”  The kissed, barely more than a peck.  It was light and soft and extremely fine.  A little more awkward than when they kissed in private, but … yeah, fine.  Buffy headed off, and Oz and Willow followed.  They made their way to the library, where Giles and Xander were freaking out majorly. 

Giles greeted them with a grim, “It's good to see you. Um, no need to panic.”  Willow’s eyes immediately showed panic.  _Great job, Giles._

Oz retorted, “Just a thought.  Poker: not your game.”  Willow asked what was going on, and Giles managed to stammer out there was nothing amiss except for just maybe a tiny little murder in the woods last night.  He identified the student as Jeff Orkin, and Oz said he knew the guy.  Who was apparently mauled.  In a very possibly werewolfey way. 

Buffy was starting to freak, and Willow was about three steps ahead of her down freaking out lane.  Oz’s brow was furrowed, which for Oz was the equivalent of a level five wig out.  This was very not good.  Xander muttering on and on about how there was no way Oz got out last night made it even worse, since it was painfully obvious that Xander had fallen asleep during his shift.  Between that and the open window in the large cage that, for reasons Buffy had never actually learned, was built into the far wall of the library, everyone was starting to assume the worst.

“We can’t jump to conclusions yet.  There could be another werewolf, or it could be something else entirely.”  Giles, the only adult in the room, was the voice of reason.  Buffy joined in.

“It’s okay.  We’ll work together, and we’ll figure this out.”  She glanced around the room, realizing who was missing.  “And Faith, too.”

“Yes, Faith.  Perhaps she could watch over Oz tonight?”

“Having a Slayer watch me?  Glad we’re not overreacting.”  Oz pushed off the stairs and walked away. 

Willow got up to follow him.  “Oz.”

He stopped.  “Okay. Uh, you know that thing where you bail in the middle of an upsetting conversation?  I have to do that.  It's kinda dramatic, I know, but... sometimes, it's a necessary guy thing.”  _Not just a guy thing,_ Buffy thought.  Willow simply nodded sadly, letting him go.

Buffy turned back to Giles.  “Actually, I think I’ll need Faith with me on patrol tonight.  Who knows what we might run into out there, and she’s finally ready to get back out in the field.  I don’t think being cooped up in the library all night is going to be all that good for her.”  Also, Buffy was like ninety percent sure Faith would just say no way.  She was itching to get back out into the action.  “Besides, whoever is here will have the tranq gun, and it’s not like Oz has ever broken out of the cage before.  Just be sure the window is locked this time.”

Giles nodded.  “Alright, that makes sense.  The rest of us will keep watch in shifts as always, though I’ve got to run home for some additional research materials immediately after school.  Willow, tonight I will need you to go to the morgue.  Sneak in, get some samples.  Let’s see if we can rule out werewolf at least.  Perhaps Cordelia can drive you?”  Willow nodded solemnly.  Breaking and entering was way outside of Willow’s comfort zone, but Buffy knew she was desperate for anything to exonerate Oz.

“Okay.  Good.  We’ve got a plan.”  She turned to her friend.  “This is gonna be okay, Will.”  She nodded, still sad, and Buffy wished she could make it all better.  But she had to get to her appointment with sanity.

~~~~

As Buffy entered the counselor’s office, she was met with the tall back of an office chair, hiding all of Mr. Platt save for the hand sticking out, holding a lit cigarette.  Which Buffy was almost sure was some sort of illegal, and gross on top of that.  A voice emanated from the chair.  “Two o’clock.  Miss Summers.”  There was no indication that he had any intention to turn the chair around to face her.  Her eyes narrowed in bewilderment.

“Buffy Summers, reporting for sanity,” she replied softly, trying not to come off as too sarcastic.  A huge cloud of cigarette smoke billowed out from the chair, still unmoving.   Starting to feel uneasy, Buffy continued, “Look … I know that I have to do this, and I-I’ll cooperate, and I’ll look at your ink blots and everything.  But … I don’t wanna talk about my life or my childhood or... anything, for that matter, actually.  And, uh... I don't wanna be friends here.”

That was apparently the point where she had pushed it far enough, because the chair finally turned.  Mr. Platt had a kind face that almost made the sardonic look he shot her seem whimsical.  “We’re not gonna be friends.”  He smiled.  “You have friends already, I hope.  Friends are a good thing.  They like you.  Agree with you.  Tell you whatcha wanna hear.”  He put out the cigarette before reaching into his desk drawer for some air freshener spray.  “That’s not what you need right now.  What you need is a trained, not **_too_** crazy professional who will always give you his honest opinion.”

This guy was wacky, and Buffy was this close to actually liking him.  He at least put her at ease, which she supposed was probably a worthwhile trait in his profession.  He had her sit, and then she quipped, “Not too crazy?  Those are your credentials?”  He did that thing that teachers do, when they’re trying to seem cool—he walked around his desk, then sat on the edge of the front of it.

“Look, Buffy, any person—grownup, shrink, even the Pope—any person who claims to be **_totally_** sane is either lying or not very bright.  I mean, everyone has problems.  Everybody has demons, right?”  She swallowed hard.

“Gotta say I’m with you on that.”  Buffy decided she liked this guy, and ever so tentatively gave into her impulse to open up to him.  Then he asked her about why she ran away over the summer, and suddenly she was much less sure.  “That’s a long story.”

“Doesn’t mean it isn’t a worthwhile one.”  He waited patiently.  She shrugged.  Not like she could tell her school counselor that her boyfriend had been a 243-year-old vampire who lost his soul, spent months tormenting Buffy and her loved ones, and then fought her nearly to the death, only to have his soul restored just before she was forced to kill him in order to save the world.

“There was a guy.  He was my first … I loved him, and then he…”

“Changed?” he asked knowingly.

“Yeah.  And eventually, I ended it.  Because I **_had_** to.  But …”

“You didn’t stop loving him.”  _Alright, get out of my head now._

“No, I didn’t.  Maybe I never will.”  She looked up at him, trying to make it clear that she was being honest.  “But I’m over it now.  While I was in LA…. I made a new friend, and she’s helped me put things into perspective.”  She smiled at the thought of Faith.  “I saw that I was holding onto a lot of guilt that wasn’t really mine to bear.  And I’m learning to let it go.”

“That sounds healthy, Buffy.  See, I told you that friends can be good.”  He raised his eyebrows.  “This friend sounds as though she’s become an important part of your life rather quickly.”

Buffy thought about that.  He wasn’t wrong.  They were the Chosen Two.  Faith could really understand Buffy, and that was a precious thing.  Plus, for all their differences—and despite a boat load of trauma between the two of them—Buffy just genuinely enjoyed being around Faith. 

“I would caution you just a bit, though.  Be careful that you’re not simply trying to fill the void left behind by one person with an equally unhealthy attachment to a new person.”  She frowned.

“It’s not… I-I mean we’re not.”  She sighed, not sure what Platt was getting at.  “It’s not the same thing.  We’re friends.  I mean yeah, she gets me in a way no one else can, and I **_need_** that, but … I mean I’m dating someone.  Else.  A boy person.  I’m moving on from … **_him._**   It’s all very nice and normal.”  Buffy had no idea what she was trying to say, and she was sure she must seem like an idiot right then.

If so, Mr. Platt decided not to call her on it.  He simply raised an eyebrow, as if he could see something Buffy couldn’t.  “Nice and normal, huh?  I take it your relationship with the guy from before—it wasn’t normal?”

“No,” she said softly.  “But … I mean, no, Scott can never really understand me, not like that.  Not like Angel could.”  _Or Faith_.  “But maybe that’s what is good for me, at least right now.  To keep dating separate from …”  Buffy was flustered now.  She didn’t know how to talk about this in metaphor.  So, she shut down.

“Look, Buffy, you’re seventeen.  It’s okay if you don’t know what you need or what’s good for you right now.  You’re still growing and learning.  The important thing is that you stay in tune with what feels good to you, and be careful not to fall into old patterns.”  He stood, walking back behind his desk.  “It sounds like you’re already making good progress since you returned.  Thanks for stopping by, and we’ll do this again next week.”

With that, the chair swung back around, and Buffy felt a strong sense of ‘what the heck just happened here?’ as she left the office.

~~~~

“Anyway, so Willow’s freaked, obviously.  And like, it’s not like I can get a good read on Oz, but there was a definite lack of cool.”

“And wolfy’s usually all about that cool,” Faith muttered under her breath, shuddering a little.  She could imagine how powerless he must feel, having this animal side of him that he had no control over.  Some mystical darkness that took over his body and got all murderey in the night.  Her regular old human anger was hard enough to control sometimes.

She and Buffy had been patrolling for about an hour now, hoping to find some other evil beastie that could’ve mauled that kid.  Buffy had given Faith the low down after she got off school.  But hey, if they were gonna find some wild animal, this creepy ass forest seemed like a good place to look.  Except that Faith kept jumping at every stray noise that went bump in the dark.

But she welcomed the distraction.  Things had been just a little strained between the Slayers since Kakistos, and yeah, okay, that was on Faith.  She was really uncomfortable with the way she had broken down in front of Buffy.  It wasn’t that she didn’t trust the other Slayer.  Hell, she’d really taken care of Faith that night, inspired her to be strong when she was nothing but terrified.  The thing was that she didn’t trust herself around Buffy.  She just found a way past all of Faith’s barriers.  And that wasn’t something Faith could abide.  That just set her up for a letdown.

So, she was playing it cool around Buffy.  Which included avoiding mention of her boring little boyfriend.  Faith was glad that she had asked Scott out, but only because it helped put a boundary in place for Faith.  Even if she hated the idea of Buffy with someone else.  _How the hell did I end up here?  I just met this girl a month ago._

And that’s when something came out of nowhere and tackled Buffy.  It tossed her aside, then faced Faith, growling a low, guttural rumble in it’s—no, **_his_** throat.  Because it wasn’t a beast, it was a man.  _Same difference._   While he was hunched over a little, the guy was tall and broad-shouldered.  Dark hair and really pale skin.  Faith had no clue what the dude was doing running around the woods with no shirt on, but there was a wild, feral look in his eyes.  There was a bit of blood under his bottom lip, and it didn’t look like his.  But she was pretty sure he wasn’t a vampire.  This kind of action, he would’ve had his vamp face on by now.

“Hey buddy, you don’t wanna be stirrin’ up trouble with the two of us, trust me.  Looks like maybe you could use some help.”  He just grimaced at her, unhearing.  She glanced back at Buffy, and she was completely frozen.  Her eyes were haunted in a way that Faith couldn’t figure out.  “B! A little help here?”  The girl didn’t move, and then the snarling shirtless guy was on her. 

They tussled, and he was strong.  Unnaturally strong.  But she couldn’t be sure he wasn’t human, which meant no killing unless she absolutely had to.  So she tossed him off of her and went on the defensive.  _I’ll knock him out, and then we’ll see what the hell is going on with Buffy._   They traded blows, then she tossed him to the ground.  She kicked him in the gut before he could get up, then brought an elbow down hard against the back of his head.  Just as she made contact, knocking the guy out, she heard Buffy scream, “Faith no!”  She looked back at Buffy incredulously, who had finally broken out of her trance and run over.

“What the hell, B?  I just knocked him out.  What happened to you?”  The blonde ignored her, falling to her knees next to the unconscious man.  For a minute, she just stared at him, then she put a hand to his cheek.

“Angel?” she whispered, and then everything clicked into place for Faith.  That’s why he was so strong.  The long lost— _well, not **that**_ _long—_ vampire boyfriend.  But why didn’t he speak?  What was with the wild animal act?  Why didn’t he vamp out?

And what if he was the one who mauled that student?

Buffy was so tender with him, concern and guilt etched across her features.  Faith felt a swell of frustration and something that she told herself definitely wasn’t jealousy roil around in her gut.  “B?  What the hell?”  Her eyes snapped up to Faith, as if she only just realized that she wasn’t alone with her doomed lover in the middle part of some gothic romance novel. 

“It’s Angel.  I don’t … th-this shouldn’t be possible.  I don’t—” Buffy took a deep breath, then released it.  “Can you help me get him to the mansion, before he wakes up?”  Faith eyed her dubiously.  “I promise I will explain… what I can.”  Faith shrugged, not trusting herself to speak just yet, and took up a spot on the other side of Angel.  Together, they lifted him off the ground, and Buffy led the way.

It was maybe a fifteen-minute walk, and there was a tense silence between them for the first half of it.  But then, Faith couldn’t take it anymore.  “You really sure this is him?” 

“Yes.”  The other Slayer kept her vision forward, and her jaw was set and determined.  _Okay cool, super informative.  Screw it, I’ll try humor._

“I definitely didn’t picture him all shirtless and beasty—Scott really is the opposite of this guy, huh?”  Buffy glared at her, which was a reaction at least, then her eyes softened.

“This isn’t him,” she said softly.  “He wasn’t … I don’t know what is wrong with him.”  Faith took a look at Angel’s face.  Buffy had wiped the blood away, and unconscious, she guessed she could see the appeal of him.  Much more than Scott anyway.  The chiseled jawline.  Sharp cheekbones, at least for a guy.  The dark brow and hair contrasted nicely against his pale skin and soft pink lips.

But his eyes—she hadn’t seen any humanity in those eyes.  “B-Buffy, what if … I mean, what if there’s no soul in there?”

“This wasn’t---trust me, this isn’t Angelus.  He wasn’t a wild animal; he was a cold, calculating bastard.  Smarmy and awful.”  Buffy’s voice was thick with anger now.  Faith took it that Angel’s alter ego was pretty high on Buffy’s most hated list.  _At some point, I should try to get more of that story._   “I don’t know what is going on with Angel.  Or how he escaped hell.  But he had his soul went I sent him there—makes sense that he still has it.”

Faith wasn’t exactly convinced, but she also knew she wouldn’t hesitate to stake the guy if necessary.  She’d follow Buffy’s lead for now.  She was starting to get antsy about him waking up at any moment though.  They approached the mansion and entered from a different door this time.  Buffy pointed to a spot, and they set him down.  “Watch him, I’m going to go get some chains.”  _Now **that**_ _is the kinda plan I can get behind._   She nodded, and Buffy hurried away.

It was the same open living area from a couple of weeks ago.  Major castle vibes.  There was a massive fireplace, and all stone everything.  The only real decoration was the dark curtains scattered about the place—remnants from when it had been the evil vampire lair for Angelus and his progeny.  She glanced across the floor to the spot where Buffy left that ring.  The jewelry was gone, replaced by scorch marks roughly in the silhouette of a man.  Or in this case, a vampire.  _Buffy brought him back somehow?_

She thought she caught some movement from the still very topless form in front of her, but then Buffy came back into the room, heavy duty shackles and a chain in hand.  “Hurry up, B.  I think he’s comin’ to.”  Buffy tossed the chain through a metal sconce bolted between the wall and a lower-hanging part of the ceiling, and each of them locked a shackle around a wrist.  And just in time, as they both jumped back when he began to snarl and lunge at them again.

Buffy flinched with each lunge, and Faith realized, finally, just how traumatic this must be for her.  She put an arm around the blonde and turned her away from Angel, leading her over to the scorch marks.  “Hey, hey, we’ll figure it out, kay?  But … you need to check this out.  I’m guessing this is where he popped outta hell or whatever.”

The other Slayer’s eyes tracked along the edges of the residue.  _Searching for her ring?  Does she want it back now that the bf is back in town?_   Faith felt a bitterness settle in her throat.  She glanced back as Angel began to wear himself out, his noises diminishing.  When Buffy stood and faced her, the blonde’s eyes still had that haunted quality, but the Buffy fire and grit that Faith was so intrigued by were there too.  “Let’s head back to the library.  I wanna hit the books and see if I can’t figure out what is going on.”

 _Screw that._ Helping Buffy get Angel to vamp mansion and chained up was about as far as she was willing to go with all this tonight.  “Uhhh, I’m gonna have to take a pass.”  Buffy’s brow furrowed, and disappointment set in along her features.  “I just … hittin’ the books ain’t really my bag.  I’d probably just get in the way.  Plus—” she ran a hand through her hair along the back of her head, “—my head’s feelin’ a little off.  Think I’m just gonna head back to the house, okay?”

Buffy didn’t look any less disappointed, but she nodded.  “Yeah, I get it.  Thanks for helping me with him.”  Faith shrugged, then turned to walk away.  “Faith?”  Buffy’s hand was on her wrist, and a small spark leapt between their skin.  Faith immediately jerked her hand away.  “Just … don’t tell anyone about this, okay?  I need to figure this out, and they won’t understand.”

“Yeah, okay,” Faith agreed. “Our secret.”  Then she turned and got the hell out of there.

Joyce was still up when she got back to the Summers house.  “Hi, Faith,” she called out from the couch, where she was watching some TV show.  _Hell, I could use a good distraction._

Faith walked into the living room and sat down beside Joyce.  “Got room for one more?” 

“’Course I do.  Slide on in,” she answered warmly.  “Where’s Buffy?”  Faith tensed. _Shoulda thought of a cover story on my way back._

“Our patrol turned up a whole lotta nada, so she headed back to the library for wolf duty.” 

Joyce’s nose crinkled a little as she asked curiously, “Wolf duty?”  _Shit, did she not know about Oz?_

“Oh just … one of the students at school is a werewolf.  He’s a chill dude, except for three nights a month.  When the full moon’s out, we gotta lock him up and keep an eye on him.  Make sure he doesn’t get out and accidentally hurt anyone.” 

“Oh.  Well, that’s sure something.  I mean … I’m glad you all can help him, I suppose.”  Faith had gotten to know Joyce a little better the last week.  The elder Summers had been mothering her as she recovered from the beatdown Kakistos put on her.  Faith would never admit it to anyone, but it was kinda nice.  Breakfast in bed.  Someone who actually seemed worried about her.  Faith wouldn’t let herself get used to it, because that’s right when it would turn out Joyce was an alcoholic or a homophobe or was secretly planning on feeding her to her undead vampire kid in the attic or something. 

But she could tell Joyce was still super weird about the Slayer stuff.  Even if she tried to play it cool.  Faith unlaced and kicked off her boots, resting her socked feet on the coffee table with a raised eyebrow towards Joyce to see if it was alright.  Joyce smiled and shrugged.  “So, Joyce.  Talk to me.  How ya feelin’ about all this Slayer stuff?”  Joyce put on that smile of hers that didn’t quite reach her eyes.  “No no, I’m serious.  Hey—” Joyce looked at her uncertainly, “—I grew up on the mean streets of south Boston.  I’ve seen some shit.  You don’t gotta pretend with me.  You’re still freaked, right?”

The older woman sighed.  “I’m that obvious, huh?”

Faith made a face.  “Just a little.”

“It’s just a **_lot_**.  I mean… there’s so much that makes sense now.  And it’s great that my daughter is a superhero, not a violent delinquent.  But … I saw those zombies.  They killed people.  And your face last week.  I know that you heal fast, but …”  Joyce paused, the show forgotten.  “I worry.”

“Would it help to pick my brain a little?  I get that you don’t wanna bug B or whatever, but maybe if you tried to understand better, you might feel a little more comfortable?”  Joyce’s lips pursed for a moment, her eyes wandering as she considered.

Then she stood.  “I’m gonna make some coffee.  You want some?” 

Faith shrugged.  “Sure thing Momma B.”  She followed her into the kitchen, and they sat together on the stools at the kitchen island while the coffee brewed.  “So … what are you just itchin’ to know?”

“Well … I guess we should start from the beginning.  What are Slayers?  How do you become a Slayer?”  Faith’s mouth dropped open, but only for a second.  She caught it and threw up her walls again. 

“B really never talked to you about this?  Or Giles?”  _I don’t get you, B._   Joyce had her issues, Faith knew that.  She hadn’t had the greatest impression of her at first.  But it was obvious that Joyce cared.  She was trying.  So, why did Buffy keep her in the dark?  “Well … long and short of it is fate.  I never really got into the nitty gritty of the lore or nothin’.  But some girls are just destined.  They call us potentials.”

Joyce got up to pour the coffee.  “And who is ‘they’?” 

Faith frowned.  “The Watchers Council, I guess.  Buncha old white British dudes who have all the old books and think they can order us around.  I mean—” she thought of Diana, “—a few broads, too.  But mostly dudes.”  Faith couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her voice.  “Anyway… s‘posed to be all ‘Into every generation a Slayer is born: one girl in all the world, to wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness,’ blah blah blah.”  She winked, then took a sip.  “Guess our generation has had three though.”  _Generation must be a loose term_ , Faith thought.  She was well aware of the fairly short life span Slayers tended to have.

“So that’s it then?  Random chance?  Some girls are just … **_chosen_**?”  Joyce sounded a little defeated, like she was hoping there was … _what? A cure?  Sorry Joyce, shit ain’t that simple._

“Guess so.  Like I said, mythology’s not really my thing.”

“And Buffy …”  Joyce’s voice trailed off, and when she looked back at Faith, her eyes were all watery and scared.  “Well … I mean, she really died?”

Faith felt that question deep in her chest.  She didn’t know what it was like to have a good mother-daughter relationship, but she could hear the pain in Joyce’s voice.  “Sure you want that story?”

Joyce’s eyes widened, but she nodded. 

“Alright.  So … I’ve only heard it second hand.  My Watcher, Diana, she’d tell me stories about Buffy, after she found me—”

“What do you mean, ‘found’ you?” Joyce interrupted.  Faith wilted.  She opened up too much, not expecting Joyce to dig deeper.  _Shit._

“I just mean, I guess at some point the Watchers identified me as a potential Slayer—and no, I ain’t gotta clue how that works—they sent Diana to come find me, and she started training me and teaching me things until I was called.”  Joyce nodded, and Faith went back to her story.  “Anyway.  So there was this big bad vamp.  Ancient sorta evil.  Called the Master.  He was sealed away, but there was this prophecy that the Slayer would die at his hands and free him from his prison.”

Faith could hear Joyce grinding her teeth.  But she didn’t know what to tell her.  “I don’t know the whole story.  But apparently the Master drowned Buffy, and then someone gave her CPR and brought her back.  Guess that was enough for whatever mojo calls the next Slayer.  So it was this Kendra chick, then when she died it was me.”  She grinned widely at Joyce, trying her best to look confident as hell.  “B slayed the hell outta that Master though.  He got his.”

Joyce didn’t seem all that reassured, but she said, “Thanks, dear.  I’m sure she did.”  She took a sip of coffee.  “Has she talked to you about Angel?”

Faith froze.  Her chest was suddenly tight, and her stomach fell.  This was not a question she anticipated.  And she had promised Buffy to keep her secret.  As nice as Joyce had been to her, Faith’s loyalties were clear.  “She’s told me enough.  But if you want to know, I think you should ask Buffy yourself.  She trusted me with some stuff, and I’m not gonna betray that.”  Joyce’s face was unreadable, and Faith thought she could see the resemblance between mother and daughter.  “Even if this coffee **_is_** delicious,” she added, turning on the charm.

Joyce couldn’t resist pushing a little.  “But he **_was_** a vampire?  And she killed him?”  Faith breathed out a heavy breath.  She had come back here specifically to avoid the topic of Buffy’s newly returned boyfriend.  And yet, some part of her was morbidly curious to know what Joyce thought about the guy.

“Yeah.  But he had a soul, at least at first.  Then he lost it, and B had to put him down to save the world.”

“What does that even mean?  About the soul?”

Faith blew out a long breath.  “So, vampires don’t have souls.  When a person becomes a vampire, they die.  Their soul leaves the body, and a demon sets up shop.  They become evil killing machines, but with some of the dead person’s personality still there.  But Angel… he got his soul back.  For a while anyway.  He helped Buffy out, till he turned bad.”  Joyce didn’t say anything, and Faith took that as her opening to try and get a little information for herself.  “So … did you ever meet him?”

Joyce’s face darkened.  _That’s a yes._   “Only once.  I guess that was after …”  Her voice trailed off, and she swallowed hard.  “He scared me.  He was older—”

“That’s an understatement,” Faith muttered.

“—And he was obsessive.  Faith, I can’t really put it into words, he was just unsettling.  It’s like when you can just tell that there’s something off about someone.  Except that … **_everything_** was off.  He was almost gleeful in how uncomfortable he made me feel.”

 Faith bristled a little at that.  But then Joyce surprised her.  “But he must’ve been different … with a soul.  **_Very_** different.  I know my daughter.  She’s been through a lot, more than I know, but she’s a good judge of character.  And she said that she loved him.”

There was that word again. _Love._   Faith still didn’t get it.

~~~~

Buffy hadn’t come home last night, and Faith didn’t sleep well.  It didn’t sit well, how they left things.  Especially after her conversation with Joyce.  So, she got up early and made her way to the Sunnydale High library.  She grabbed a couple of coffees from a gas station on the way, assuming that Buffy stayed up most of the night researching.

Even as early as she had gotten up, Giles still beat her to the library.  She snuck in, holding onto the door as she entered so it didn’t make noise.  Giles and Buffy didn’t notice her, and she overheard their conversation.  Sounded like Buffy had fallen asleep on top of a book last night.

The other Slayer still sounded a little sleepy, but the question she asked Giles was a master class in deception.  “I dreamt that he came back.”  _A dream._   That was brilliant.  Since dreams were apparently a Slayer thing.  Faith ducked behind the check-out counter and out of the sightline of Buffy and Giles.  _Why was Buffy hiding Angel from Giles?_

“Of course. After Jenny was killed, I had dreams that she was s-still alive, that I saved her.”  Giles’ voice trembled in a way Faith hadn’t heard.  She wondered if Jenny was the girlfriend Angelus had murdered.

Buffy rambled a little about how vivid the dream was, which … yeah, since it wasn’t a dream, sure, it was pretty damn vivid.  Then Giles asked if she thought it was a prophecy.  That’s when she got stammerey.  Buffy was a pretty good liar, but she clearly didn’t love doing it.

She asked him, “Is there a chance even?  Could it happen?”  Faith guessed her studying turned up nothing, and she felt a small pang of guilt.  Sure, she wasn’t book girl, but Buffy had asked for her help.  Maybe they could’ve found something together.

“Well, there's no record of anyone returning from a demon dimension once the... gate was closed.  I-I-I can't imagine how it could happen or-or why.”  Faith could just picture Giles wiping his glasses awkwardly.

“Let's just pretend for a second that... Angel somehow found his way back to Sunnydale. What would he be like?”

His response was quick.  “I really can't say. From what is known about that dimension, i-it would suggest a world of brutal torment. And time moves quite differently there, so...”

Buffy interrupted, “I remember.”  The image of Buffy tossing that ax out of the ooze, then pulling herself up through it, less than a minute after she’d thrown herself in after that girl.  Faith had just figured she was a badass, and yeah, she was, but also she’d been down there for over an hour.  “So he would've been down there for hundreds of years.

“At least.  Probably thousands, at this point.”  _Fuuuuck.  No wonder he’s feral._

“Of torture.”  Not a question.  Just Buffy, stating the fact of what she’d put her boyfriend through.

“It would take someone of extraordinary... will and character to survive that and, uh, retain any semblance of self.  Most likely, he'd be, be a monster.”

Buffy’s response was quiet, hopeless.  “A lost cause.”

“Maybe.”  Then, a little stronger, “Maybe not.  In my experience, there are... two types of monster. The first, uh, can be redeemed, or more importantly, **_wants_** to be redeemed.”

“And the second type?”

“The second is void of humanity, cannot respond to reason... or love.”  The way he said the word ‘love,’ Faith wondered if he didn’t have some clue that maybe Buffy wasn’t talking about a dream.  Or maybe he was just being nice.  Either way, Faith was impressed by Giles’ words of wisdom.

“Hey, Faith.”  She jumped, not having noticed Willow coming into the room.

“Geez, Red, don’t sneak up on a girl like that.”  Willow eyed her dubiously, as if she could tell that Faith had been spying.  Then Oz came out of his cage, throwing on a shirt, as Giles and Buffy came out to meet the group.

“Jelly donut?” Willow offered Oz.  He ignored her.

“Everything all right?”

Buffy shot a confused look at Faith before responding, “Yeah, uh, what happened with the inspection of the body?

Willow continued with her obvious front of cheerfulness. “Anyone? They're yummy delicious!” 

Trying to deflect any attention from herself, Faith decided to indulge.  “Don’t mind if I do.”  She grabbed a donut, then glanced at Buffy as she slid a cup towards her.  “Brought you a coffee, B.”

Buffy took it, but her focus was on the redhead.  The girl one, anyway.  “Willow, come on. Was it werewolf?” Red’s anxious demeanor was about as obvious an answer as you could get, but Buffy was still freaking about Angel.  “Was it a vampire?”

“I-it wasn't conclusive—”

“How could it not be conclusive?  What did it look like?  Was he bit?”  Buffy was doing a terrible job of hiding her interest in that question.

Giles stepped in, sternly.  “Let her finish, Buffy.”

“No, it's just...”  Buffy realized what she was doing.  Faith leapt over the counter, finishing off her donut then grabbing her cup of coffee.

“Come on, B, let’s take a walk.”  The blonde went along as she put an arm around her and led her out of the library.  “Drink up, that coffee’s getting’ cold.”  Buffy did as she was told, but she still seemed a little out of it.  Then she made a face.

“Faith.  If you ever buy me coffee again, remember.  At least three packs of sugar, plus cream.”

“Guess I shoulda figured you for an overly sweet kinda girl, B.  Sorry ‘bout that.  But you seem like you could use caffeine right now a hell of a lot more than sugar.”  They kept walking, and Faith was very aware of the fact that Buffy hadn’t made any move to get out from under Faith’s arm.  She wondered what Scott would think if he saw them like this.  “Look, I wanna apologize for bailing on you last night.”  Buffy’s eyes shot sideways at her, surprised.  “I freaked a little about Angel, and I just … needed to get away.  Process.  Sorry I left you on your own.”

Buffy seemed like she wasn’t sure how to respond.  “No, uh, I get it.  It’s fine.”  _Did she though?_   “And thanks, for covering for me in there.”

“Sure.  Seemed like you needed to get away from that situation.  But I gotta ask.  How come you didn’t tell Giles about Angel?”  They found their way outside and took a seat in the courtyard.

“I … it’s complicated.”  Buffy took a long swig of the black coffee that Faith now knew she wasn’t a huge fan of, then met Faith’s gaze for the first time that morning.  “This is… my burden to carry.  With everyone … there’s just a lot of baggage.  Angelus murdered Giles’ girlfriend, then tortured Giles.  Xander has always hated him, soul or not.  Willow … she was really close to Ms. Calendar—that’s Giles’ girlfriend, she was a teacher here—and she was the one who restored Angel’s soul, but it was too late.  I haven’t told her that the spell worked.”

Buffy took a deep breath, then released it.  “I haven’t told anyone, other than you.  It’s just not worth the pain it will cause them, or me.  Or at least … it wasn’t.  When he was gone.  Now …  I just don’t know.  But you’re the only person who makes me feel safe enough to talk about this stuff with.”  Faith wasn’t sure how to take that.  Part of her got a massive thrill at having earned Buffy’s trust like that.  Especially after she’d been so unreliable with the Kakistos stuff.

But that didn’t diminish the wariness with which Faith approached basically everything.  Not to mention that, of all the topics she could be Buffy’s sole confidant on, Angel was about dead last in terms of what Faith wanted to be involved in.

Still … maybe Buffy had a type.  Dark, brooding brunettes with a tragic backstory and a touch of destiny…

 _Calm the fuck down,_ she told herself.  Then she noticed Buffy staring.  “Sorry.  Spaced there a little.  I didn’t sleep well either.”

“Nah, I get it.”  The bell rang.  “Gotta get to class.  Meet me after school?  Just before sunset?  Oh, and bring food!  You can make up for last night, even if you’re just the pleasant distraction while I do the research.”  Faith couldn’t stop herself from thinking about the many ways she could possibly be a pleasant distraction for Buffy.

“Sure thing, B.”  They hugged, and it wasn’t something Faith expected.  “Uhh, see ya later.”

~~~~

A nice casual evening of supernatural research and burgers.  That was the expectation.  Reality?  A much different animal.  Sometimes, being the only one not without a reason to be at Sunnydale High all day ended up being a massive pain in the ass.  Faith had arrived, fast food in hand, only to stumble upon full on carnage in the library.  Oz had gone full werewolf, and this guy Pete was apparently some ‘roided out monster dude, and they were going to town on each other.

When Faith walked in, Giles was out cold, and Were-Oz tore past her out into the school.  Buffy caught her eye and tossed her the tranq gun.  Faith was quick enough that she sat the bags of food down on the counter before swiping the gun out of the air.  “You get the wolf.”

“Got it,” Faith replied, then took off running after Oz.  Someone— _I’m guessing Red_ —was hot on her heels.  They chased him down a couple of halls and then down a stairwell.  He finally slowed just a little, and Faith set her feet, raising the gun to take aim.  Unfortunately, that’s when he turned on a dime and tackled her.  The gun clattered across the ground, and Faith kept her hands tight around his thick, furry neck, forcing his snarling snapping jaws away from her face.  She didn’t have much trouble holding him back, but it took all of her strength to do so.  She couldn’t get out from under him.

Fortunately, Willow was resourceful.  She gave her wolfish boy toy’s tail a quick tug, and his attention shifted in a hurry.  He leapt off and tore after Willow, who ran screaming “Get the gun!  Get the gun!”  Faith wasted no time doing so, swiping it off the ground, setting her feet again, and then smirking as she took the shot.  “Nighty night, pupalup.” 

Willow was at his side in a heartbeat, but Faith was worried about Buffy.  “Hey, you’ve got this.  He’ll be out for a while.  I’ve gotta go make sure B is alright.”  She didn’t wait for a response before running off in the opposite direction.  She found a trail of blood leading out a window, and she jumped up onto the lockers under the window, before climbing through with ease. 

Faith landed and look around for a trail.  To her left, a door was ajar, leading back into the building.  Some sort of basement room.  She peaked around the edge of the door, only to find Buffy face-to-face with tall, dark, and no longer in a hell dimension.  He was still shirtless, but he was standing up straight now.  His hands were still in chains, but his face was all vampire.  She tensed to throw herself at the guy, and then his face softened.

Angel took a step forward, then another and another, until he was right in front of the other Slayer.  “Buffy?”  Then he dropped to his knees, pressing his face into her and holding her tight as he cried.  She was tense, and her face was a storm of emotions.  Her eyes watered, and her mouth gaped.  Buffy seemed at a complete loss of what to do.  He said her name again, and then Faith finally noticed the rest of the room.

Pete and his girlfriend were both dead.  Two human corpses.  She didn’t have much trouble figuring out what happened here.  Creepy monster boy Pete did what men do—he got more and more violent towards the woman who loved him, until eventually he killed her.  Then he had turned on Buffy, and for whatever reason, Angel had saved her.  Murdered the guy with his bare hands.  Or that chain maybe.

And now, he and Buffy were locked in a tragic embrace.  Both crying, neither sure of what they were doing.  But the love was there.  This is what love was, right?  Drama and tragedy and overwhelming emotions totally out of your control?

Faith didn’t want any of it.  Didn’t **_need_** any of it.  Whether it was Scott or Angel— _but let’s be honest, it’s Angel_ —there was little question in Faith’s mind that what Buffy wanted was definitely boy-shaped.  And Faith was done feeling emotional and confused and vulnerable.  Screw having emotions.  Screw all of it.

 _Stick to what’s simple.  Surviving.  Slaying.  Living large._   She took one last lingering look at the Vampire Slayer and her vampire boyfriend, then she turned and ran away.


	5. Corsages and Combat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel is steadily improving, and Buffy still has no idea how to handle him being back. SlayerFest '98 proves to be the perfect opportunity for some Slayer bonding time, and Faith struggles with her feelings for Buffy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Homecoming

_Please be wearing a shirt this time.  Please be wearing a shirt this time.  Please be wearing a shirt this time._   Buffy closed her eyes and held her breath as she took the last couple of steps towards the curtains separating the interior of the mansion from the garden area. Except right at that moment, Angel yanked the curtains open, and she very nearly ran straight into him.

The still recovering vampire was wearing a shirt, so that was an improvement.  But it wasn’t buttoned, and his broad, well-defined chest was exposed.  Buffy tamped down on the part of her that wanted to run her hands against it.  Instead, she handed him the brown paper bag—his daily ration of pig’s blood, straight from the butcher.  He took it, turning back towards the living area.

There was a small blaze going in the fireplace, which seemed really out of place until she remembered that this place didn’t have electricity.  Or maybe it had at some point, but no one was paying the bill now.  Either way, mood lighting was so not what Buffy was hoping for right now.  Angel had improved somewhat in the couple of weeks since she and Faith had found him in the woods.  He was no longer violent and had begun talking more the last few days.  His memories were still pretty spotty though.  Along with his desire to wear clothes, it seemed.

More than anything, he just seemed **_off_**.  Shaky and unstable.  But the fact that, after hundreds of years (at least) of nonstop torment, he wasn’t a feral beast in need of being put down was a miracle. 

“How are you feeling?”  He wouldn’t face her, and frankly, she was okay with that.  Less temptation.  Fewer complicated feelings if she didn’t have to look into his soulful brown eyes. 

“It hurts … less,” he replied softly. 

“Good.”  Buffy felt awkward.  Part of her wanted to run away, having done the bare minimum of bringing him blood.  But she couldn’t bring herself to do that.  He needed her for more than just that.  _You’re playing with fire here._

This was the most calm and coherent she had seen him, so she figured it was a good time to see if she could get him conversing.  Get a feel for where his head was at.  “I haven’t … told Giles and the others that … you’re back.”  _I have told Faith, or rather you attacked us both and then I stammered on like an idiot while she helped me chain you up._   She hadn’t really talked to Faith much about Angel since then.  It was very clearly a sore topic for the other Slayer, but Buffy had no idea why.  She’d kept Buffy at a distance since that night.

She looked back up and noticed that Angel had gone suddenly still.  “Giles…” he said softly, voice tight with realization.  _Shit._   It sounded to Buffy like he was remembering what he had done to the Watcher.  _Gotta keep the conversation moving._

“And I’m not going to.  They wouldn’t understand that you’re… better.”  _Because I never told them you got your soul back.  Dumb, screw up Buffy, always trying to protect people and doing it the wrong way._   “I-I’m gonna keep helping you get better.  It’s just that everything’s different now.”  _In that I will definitely not be letting us get into any kind of situation that involved smoochies or down low tingles._   “I’m a senior!  I’m really working harder in school … even thinking about college.”  She gulped.  “A-and I’m involved with someone.”

The image of a soft and vulnerable Faith crying in Buffy’s arms flashed into her mind for no apparent reason, and Buffy shook her head, warding off the completely unrelated thought.  Which worked out, since Angel had actually turned and looked at her for the first time since she’d arrived.  There was shock in his eyes, along with a little bit of hurt.  She took a step back, but then he reached out as if to straighten the lapel of her jacket.  She flinched away, and then so did he.  All of a sudden, she realized that she was wearing his old leather jacket.  Now she felt stupid for a whole different reason.  In what world had she thought that was a good idea?  It wasn’t even that cold out.

“His name is Scott,” she explained.  “He’s a nice, solid guy.  He makes me happy…”  Maybe happy was overselling it, but Buffy definitely felt a good reliable sense of contentedness.  She and Scott had been dating for about a month, and he was growing on her.  He was sweet and thoughtful, and they’d progressed from awkward kissing to some light over the shirt stuff.  It was nice.  Normal.  Just what she needed.  Especially now that there was a very unwanted temptation—a tall, dark, gorgeous temptation—that she felt compelled to put herself near every single night.   “That’s what I need: someone I can count on.”

Buffy wasn’t entirely sure what she meant by that.  But her words had an immediate effect.  Angel’s shoulders sank, and he turned away from her again.  Then he kept walking, right out of the room.  Without another word.

~~~~

“Oh, man!  Guys should break up with you more often.”  The dark-haired Slayer shook her hand dramatically as she began removing the padded mitts that Buffy had just been whaling on. A sly, playful grin painted her dark lips.

“Gee, thank you,” Buffy snarked, the workout having helped her feel just a little bit better.  _Who the hell was Scott Hope to break up with her right before homecoming?  Someone I can count on my ass._ She assured herself that Scott was the reason for her frustration, for the excess of tension she was feeling.  It had nothing to do with the way Angel’s bare chest made her feel last night.  Or the disappointment she faced every time Faith lied to her and said nothing was wrong.  _Yup, definitely just pissed because the nice boy dumped me._

Faith’s voice came from behind her as Buffy walked over to the nearby table to grab her water bottle.  “No, I mean it.  You really got some quality rage going.  Really gives you an edge.”  Buffy started shrugging on her zip hoodie but stumbled with her arm half in the sleeve, looking back at Faith as the brunette hoisted herself up onto the table.  Her cut-off denim shorts rode up even further, exposing basically her entire thigh as she brought her knee-high lace-up boot onto the table in front of her. 

Buffy finished putting on her jacket before responding softly, “Edge Girl.  **_Just_** what I always wanted to be.”

Faith toweled off a little bit of sweat.  “Well, screw him, alright?  You move on, and... you party heavily, and you'll be fine.”  This was the most expressive Faith had been towards her in a couple of weeks, and the timing was pretty odd.  She’d been the one to push Buffy towards Scott, but maybe she hadn’t liked him after all. _I get cold, aloof Faith forever, then the minute Scott dumps me, she’s all pep talks and coy smiles?_   The other Slayer was an enigma wrapped in a mystery, as far as Buffy was concerned.  “I mean, you're still going to that dance, right?”

“Maybe.”  Buffy thought about it, then she eyed Faith hopefully.  She had hoped that after Faith got the resolution she needed from staking Kakistos, the brunette might’ve started opening up more.  But instead, she had turned even more inward, and between Scott, Angel, and her friends, Buffy hadn’t had a ton of time lately for patrolling with Faith.  Or anything with Faith.  No wonder the girl was wary of being vulnerable—Buffy wasn’t exactly making time for her.

But there was no reason that couldn’t change, especially now that Buffy was single.  Two unattached Slayers, livin’ large, as Faith would say.  An idea was forming in her head. “Hey Faith, I’ve got the tickets already.  Why don’t we go together?”

The brunette nearly spit out her Gatorade, raising an eyebrow.  “Yeah, B, I dunno about that.”

“Come on!  I know I’ve been more absent the last couple of weeks, but there’s no time like the present.  You and me, a night of fun?  I bet you clean up pretty nice.”  The look Faith gave her was almost wary, which didn’t make sense to Buffy.  What could Faith have to be wary of?  Buffy added a little pout to her facial expression, begging Faith to say yes.  She was done with the tension between them.

“Ugh, fine.  But no boys!”

“Obviously!  And to be fair, you were the one who pushed me towards the boys.  I’m just fine with the only boy in my life being Mr. Gordo.”  She flashed Faith a smile, and the other girl grinned back.  Her spirits seemed to lift a little. 

“Alright, you got a deal.  And believe me, I know how to show a girl a good time.”  The way Faith practically purred that made Buffy feel weird, but not in a bad way.  And she was glad that the other Slayer finally seemed excited about something.  She’d been way too mopey of late.

“The gang was talking about maybe getting a limo.” 

“Damn B, you know how to show a poor Southie girl to a fancy evening, huh?”  Buffy only half registered the joke though, as her thoughts had segued over to the girl they’d probably be sharing the limo with.  Seeing as how she was Xander’s date.  And also a self-involved bitch.  “Hey, what’s up?”

Buffy’s eyes widened, not having meant to bring down the mood.  “Ugh.  Nothing.  I’m just pissed at Cordelia.  She was supposed to tell me that today was picture day, and she got so distracted by her homecoming queen campaigning that she blew me off.  So I missed.”

“I’m guessing senior pics are a big deal?”  Buffy nodded.  “You need me to deck her for ya?”  Buffy chuckled, but waved her off.  “Hey, the offer stands.  You’re just getting back into the whole school thing.  Wouldn’t want you to get yourself thrown out just because the resident mean girl needed a good poundin’.  Ain’t nobody gonna give me shit about it.”

“As delightful as that sounds, no.  I’m good.”  She leapt up to sit on the table next to Faith, their thighs grazing briefly. 

Faith grinned deviously.  “Hell, you should give her a run for her money, steal that crown for yourself.”  Buffy couldn’t pretend like the thought hadn’t occurred to her.  Back before she was the Slayer, she had been the Cordelia of Hemery High.  Sunnydale High was small potatoes in comparison.  She felt confident she could take Cordy if she really wanted to—she just didn’t think that’s what she wanted anymore.

Buffy was doing better since her return to school, but she was still painfully aware of how ill-fitting the normal high school life had become for her.  Maybe that’s why things hadn’t worked with Scott.  Her friends had welcomed her back, but even that was different.  There was still a little bit more of a distance there than last year.  Buffy of a year ago would’ve been all about making the most of senior year, wringing every last drop of high school out and savoring it.  But she wasn’t that Buffy anymore, and it was probably about time that she started accepting that.

Live in the here and now.  Focus on the slaying.  Start figuring out what the future looked like.  Faith looked at her searchingly, and Buffy realized she was staring.  “Sorry!”  She blushed a little.  “Um, no … let Cordy have it.  Seems like she needs it.  I’m still figuring out what kind of person post-LA Buffy is, but I’m pretty sure she’s not a homecoming queen.”  She nudged Faith playfully with her shoulder.  “Screw it, let’s just go and have fun.  Blow off some steam.”

“Gotcha.  I’m all about it.”

~~~~

Homecoming night came quickly.  Buffy had already picked out her dress when she thought Scott would be taking her, but her mom had been so sweet with Faith, taking her on an impromptu dress shopping trip the day before.  Faith refused to show her the dress, though, and Buffy was beyond curious.  Joyce had gotten tied up late at The Gallery, and it was just the two Slayers at the house that night.

Buffy had a vanity and full-length mirror, so she was getting ready in her own room.  Not that she’d had much choice—Faith had set up shop in the bathroom and barricaded the door.  If Buffy didn’t know any better, she’d think the cocky Slayer was actually nervous.  The blonde was a little anxious herself.  Would it look weird showing up to a formal dance with another girl?  Especially one who didn’t go to their school?  Buffy didn’t care too much what her classmates thought of her, not anymore, but there was still a small voice in the back of her head wondering what people would think.

But Faith had been through so much, and she needed a pick me up.  The other Slayer deserved some fun, and Buffy was determined to be a good friend.  Even if it sometimes felt impossible to get past the girl’s walls.  Buffy found herself wondering, and not for the first time, what life had been like for Faith before Kakistos chased her out of Boston.  She had overheard her tell one of Kakistos’ flunkies that her mom was dead, but Buffy wondered if it wasn’t just a quip.  Still … if Faith had parents out there, why would she be here in Sunnydale all on her own?  What had happened in her life before becoming a Slayer?  When was the last time she got all dolled up for a dance like this?  Had she ever?  Buffy had such a strong curiosity about the other Slayer, but she was doing such a bad job of getting to know her so far.  Not that Faith made it easy.

Buffy finished off her mascara then grabbed the coral lipstick she had already laid out for herself, the one that perfectly matched her dress.  She took her time to make sure she applied it perfectly, then glanced at the clock once she was satisfied with her overall makeup situation.

 _Crap._   The limo would be here in five minutes.  Buffy leapt up, grabbing her clutch and hurring into the hallway.  “Alright, Faith,” she shouted, banging on the bathroom door.  “I’ve put up with this long enough!  The limo’s gonna be here any minute now—get your butt out here!”  There was some frantic movement from inside the bathroom, and a frustrated groan that almost sounded like a growl.  “No excuses!  I’m sure you look fi—”

Faith stepped out of the bathroom, and Buffy’s eyes went wide.  She didn’t know exactly what she had been expecting—something loud and pleather probably—but it certainly wasn’t this.  Buffy’s eyes started from Faith’s feet and slowly traced up the figure of her full-length slinky black dress.  It featured a plunging v-neck that perfectly accentuated the sharpness of her collarbones.  _Were those always there?  Had they always looked so … perfect?_   Her hair was piled up in a messy bun not unlike Buffy’s own hair, with a few strands down in the front to frame her face.  As elegant as the Southie looked, she still had that signature Faith flair.  A black choker drew Buffy’s eyes to her slim neck, and it matched the dark lipstick and inordinate number of bracelets that finished off the look. 

Buffy must have been gaping, because suddenly a shadow darkened Faith’s features, and she frowned as she pushed past Buffy in a huff.  “Shit.  I knew it.  I look ridiculous.  Fuck.  Let’s just go, B, no need to gawk—”  Buffy grabbed Faith’s arm, pulling her back.  They were standing closer than Buffy had anticipated.

“Faith, no.  I … sorry, I just … you look gorgeous.  Breathtaking.  My breath was taken, literally, hence the not talking.”  Faith eyed her apprehensively, as if she couldn’t quite believe that Buffy would think she was pretty.  Which like … duh.  Anyone with eyes could tell that Faith was a hottie.  Surely she knew that—she got looks everywhere they went.  And she sure seemed to know the effect she had on the boys.

But no boys tonight.  Buffy hadn’t let go of Faith’s arm, and she gave it a reassuring squeeze.  “Seriously, Faith.  You look incredible.”  A bright smile traced across the girl’s dark lips, and Buffy reached up her hand to brush a strand of hair out of Faith’s face, the tips of her fingers lightly grazing her skin just above her sharp brow.  For a split second, Faith’s dark brown eyes warmed, and it seemed like Buffy could feel her start to lean in just a little for some reason.  Then just as quickly, Faith flinched away.

“Goddammit, B, you gotta stop doing this.”  She sounded angry or maybe just frustrated, but either way, she tore off down the stairs.  “How can you be so hot and cold?  I can’t fucking deal!”  Just as she moved out of Buffy’s range of hearing, she could’ve sworn Faith muttered something about mixed signals.  Buffy just stood there, dumbfounded.  She had not a single clue what Faith was talking about, and of course, right then was when the limo honked from the driveway.  Buffy jerked forward into motion.

“Faith!  What the hell, Faith?”  Buffy trudged down the stairs, and Faith was already outside, not even bothering to close the door behind her.  Buffy swung it closed and locked it before striding over to where the limo driver was holding the door open for her.  As she slid into the car, Faith was avoiding her gaze.  “Hey.  What the hell was all that?  What’s going on?”

“It’s nothing, B.  Clearly.  Let’s just leave it alone, yeah?”  She pushed a couple of plastic containers across the seat towards Buffy.  “Looks like someone got us flower thingies.”  Her gaze was still focused on whatever was outside the window. 

“You mean the corsages?”  Faith’s brow furrowed.

“Sure, guess I’m not fancy enough to know what the flowers are called,” she sneered, suddenly so cold.  “What are they for anyway?”

Buffy took a long look at Faith, willing the other Slayer to meet her gaze.  But the brunette was stubborn, and Buffy gave up, sighing as she checked out the two corsages.  She pulled out the white rose corsage for herself.  “It’s just a fun dance tradition thing—you wear it on your wrist like this—” Faith glanced for half a second, “—and it’s supposed to accent your dress.  Here.”  She held open the elastic band on the orchid corsage so that Faith could slip her wrist through it.  “You should take the orchid; it’ll look so pretty with your dark dress.” 

Faith shot a skeptical raised eyebrow in Buffy’s direction, then slid her hand through the band.  She pulled her arm back as quickly as possible, avoiding any additional contact with Buffy.  The orchid really did look wonderful on Faith’s slim wrist, drawing attention to her toned forearm even if it looked a little awkward with the other bracelets already there. 

 _What did I do to set her off like this?_   Buffy wasn’t about to just give up.  She reached out a hand towards Faith again, only to have the other Slayer turn and scowl at her.  “B, just don’t.”

“What is your deal?  What did I do?”  Faith glared at her.  “Seriously, I don’t get it!”

“Yeah, you got that right,” Faith threw back at her.  Which only served to confuse Buffy more.  Then her brown eyes softened slightly as she blew out a breath.  “Look, whatever.  Just forget it please?  I’m being … whatever, weird, okay?  Can we just forget it?  Blow off some steam on the dance floor, spike some punch, have some fun?”

Buffy eyed her dubiously.  But she wasn’t keen on letting the tension continue either.  Even if she felt like she and Faith were speaking two entirely different languages right then.  “Sure,” she answered cautiously.  Then she glanced out the tinted window and saw only trees.  That was weird.  They should’ve been getting close to Willow’s house by then, and there were no woods in that part of town.  She called up towards the privacy divider, “Hey!  Where—”

The limo stopped all of the sudden.  Buffy’s Slayer sense was tingling, and a quick glance at Faith told her she wasn’t the only one.  They heard the driver’s door open, but it was immediately followed by the sound of footsteps hurrying away from the vehicle.  The Slayers exchanged a look, then they stepped out of the limo together.

~~~~

Faith so didn’t need this.  She was already on edge with the Buffy drama, and now they had been abandoned in the middle of some random fucking forest.  But of course, that didn’t change how incredible Buffy looked tonight, and that just made Faith that much more stressed out.  Red, or whatever girly name there was for the particular shade of red that B was wearing, was a stunning color on the blonde.  And Faith hated how much she found herself wondering what the exposed skin of Buffy’s shoulders would feel like under her lips.  _Who even fucking thinks like that?_

She scolded herself to pay attention to what was going on around her.  Focus more on the scary forest and less on the oblivious straight girl.  “What's massively wrong with this picture?”  Faith followed Buffy’s gaze to a television and VCR set, which obviously looked completely out of place sitting on a random rock in the middle of a random forest.  Where was it even getting power? 

Buffy pressed play, and immediately Faith bristled.  On the screen was Kakistos’ less than loyal right-hand guy, this time in an even more outrageous suit.  Dark red crushed velvet, with a pink shirt and a bright orange tie.  _What a fucking weirdo._   Faith looked forward to staking this guy.

“Hello, ladies,” came the leering, pre-taped greeting.  “Welcome to SlayerFest '98.” 

Faith snorted.  “The fuck is Slayerfest?”

“What is a SlayerFest, you ask?  Well, as in most of life, there's the hunters and the hunted.  Can you guess where you two fall?  From the beginning of this tape, you have exactly thirty seconds—” he checked his watch, “—no, seventeen now, to run for your lives.”  He grinned, and Faith was about done with this.  “Faith, Buffy.  Have a nice death.”  _Screw this._

Faith grabbed Buffy’s arm and pulled.  “Take cover.”  They crouched down beside the limo, and Faith listened for enemies.  Her blood was already pumping a little, and she tried not to think about how this was exactly what she needed to lift her spirits.  Things always seemed so much less complicated with Buffy when they were slaying together.  The muffled sound of a twig snapping came in the distance, followed immediately by a gunshot as the television behind them exploded. 

“Go!” Faith urged, and they took off in the opposite direction from where they’d heard the gunshot.

“Be careful,” Buffy warned.  “Whoever’s shooting at us is probably trying to direct us in a particular direction.”  _Smart._   Heeding the other Slayer’s words, Faith checked the path in front of them just in time to spot the bear trap.

“Buffy, stop.”  She grabbed her arm, pulling the blonde to a stop just before she pressed her foot down into the trap.  Then she registered movement in her periphery, and she tackled Buffy to the ground as another shot rang out.  She landed on top of Buffy, and immediately checked the other girl for injury.  Nothing.  But she could feel the sharp bones of Buffy’s hips pressing against her inner thighs through their dresses, and their faces were close enough that she could taste hints of Buffy’s breath, the faint notes of cinnamon left over from Buffy’s gum distracting her from the imminent danger. 

Neither Slayer lingered in the moment, and Buffy was out from under her in a heartbeat, grabbing the chain of the bear trap and slinging the metal contraption back towards the gunman.  As Faith stood, she heard a loud grunt, and the Slayers rushed over before the gunman could recover.  Faith grabbed the rifle and pointed at the grizzled hunter’s face.  “Alright, Daniel Boone, who else is after us and what’re they packin’?” 

The guy in the tacky fur coat eyed her for a few seconds before deciding she wasn’t bluffing, and then he started listing out their opponents.  “There's me, two Germans with AR-15s and grenade launcher... a yellow-skinned demon with long knives... and a vampire couple from Texas named Gorch.”

Buffy rolled her eyes as if that name meant something to her.  “That everybody?”

“Everybody who's out here. Germans are wired. Their boss is tracking them on computer.” 

“Gee, thanks pal,” Faith said cheerily, before knocking him unconscious with the butt of the rifle.  Then Buffy cried out as something whizzed past them.  A thin cut formed along Buffy’s biceps, and what looked like two rigid spines made of dark yellow flesh lodged in the tree just behind them. 

Faith’s eyes flashed as she scanned the horizon, a small grin teasing along her lips.  She was never one to back down from a challenge.  Well, except for that one time.  But she was fresh off defeating that particular personal demon, and she felt more invincible than ever.  At least as far as slaying went.  She glanced at the blonde beside her and felt a tiny prick of— _what’s the opposite of invincibility? Vincibility?_ —before she nodded in the opposite direction, and the two of them took off again.

They ran for a good five minutes, and Faith kept an eye out for any kind of decent defensive position.  “How big is this forest, B?”

“Not that big,” Buffy assured, her voice hitching a little as she breathed through a short leap over a fallen tree branch.  “I think we’re in Miller’s Woods.”  Just then, they popped out into an open clearing that held a dilapidated old shack.  Still, it was a dilapidated old shack with four walls and only one door.  They rushed inside, and Buffy barricaded the door. 

“Guess we’ve got the knifey demon guy comin’ up on us now.”  Faith cracked open the window facing the direction they came from and pointed the rifle out towards the perimeter.  “I’ll see if I can take him out from range.  You see what the weapon sitch is like in here.”  Faith didn’t look to see if Buffy did as she was told, using the scope on the rifle to keep an eye on the perimeter of the clearing.  She’d never really handled a rifle before, but it seemed pretty straightforward.  She wondered if Slayer powers included good aim.  _Guess we’ll find out._

Faith could hear Buffy exploring the rest of the single room shack, then she heard her speaking.  “Giles, it's me.  And Faith.”  She guessed Buffy found a phone.  “We're in a cabin in Miller's Woods, and we're in big trouble.”  Her voice trailed off. 

“B, what’s the deal?” 

“I found a phone, but it just went dead.”  Buffy continued going through drawers.  “Guessing that would be the high tech German guys.”  A pause.  “Hey, Faith?”  _Oh come on, B, not now._ “Why did you wig out on me back at the house?”

 _Because I nearly got caught up in the moment and tried to kiss you, and I’m pretty sure you woulda freaked the fuck out on me if I had._   Faith kept her sights trained on the perimeter, not sure how honest she was willing to be.  Well, that’s bullshit.  She knew full well that she had no intention of being anything close to honest.  She just didn’t know what to say to get Buffy off her back about this.  She had just reacted, without thinking, and nearly done something she couldn’t take back.

Faith hated men, mostly, but at least they were simple.  Get in, get what you want, get out.  No feelings, no complications.  No overthinking literally everything.  “Look, B…”  _Movement._   Faith immediately focused back on the perimeter, aiming the rifle at the movement she was seeing along the trees, then as the stegosaurus lookin’ dude stepped out beyond the tree line, Faith put a slug right between his eyes.  “Fuck, yes!”  She stood and pumped a fist.  “Hey B, turns out I’m wicked good with a rifle, who knew?”

The blonde simply grinned at her, and there was this look of … something.  Like she valued Faith.  Like she saw her.  Only Buffy made her feel that way.  And then the words were flowing.  “Look, I freaked a little about the whole Angel thing.  You and I got this connection, and we were doing the slayin’ thing together, just you and me, the Chosen Two.  Shit got heavy with Kakistos, but I was getting’ past that.  Then your boy toy rolls back into town from whatever hell dimension he popped outta, and you and me time disappears.”

Buffy frowned, a hint of guilt in those soft green eyes.  “I just … sorry.  I close off easy.  I figured, you had Scott, then Angel, plus your Scoobies or whatever … made sense that once you got your life back to normal, I’d just fade into the background.  That’s life.  I’m used to it.  It’s fine.  But then sometimes you act like you think I’m hot stuff, like we’re best pals, and … it’s just confusin’ is all.”  _Plus I wouldn’t mind ripping that dress off you,_ Faith failed to add.

She eyed the perimeter again, as Buffy moved in a little closer.  “I’m sorry, Faith.  That’s on me.  The Scott thing was a mistake—me trying to get back some semblance of normalcy.  But I’m not made for normal.”  She looked around them, smirking.  “ ** _Obviously._   **And honestly, things are good with my friends, but they’re all off in their happy normal coupledom in a way that I can’t fully be a part of.”  Buffy’s head tilted, listening.  “Look, we’ll talk this out a little more as we make our way to the high school.  Gotta get some more weapons from the library.  Just know that I’m sorry, and I’m all about being the Chosen Two.”  She grinned.  “Honestly, this is more fun than a dance anyway.”

“Hey, we hurry up and take out the Germans and the vamps, no reason we can’t do both.”  Faith was feeling a hell of a lot better now.  Maybe talking things out wasn’t quite as awful as she had assumed.  She couldn’t help but notice that Buffy hadn’t mentioned Angel though.  The epic tragic love of her life.

A large metal object crashed through the window, interrupting that particularly troublesome train of thought.  _Grenade._   Before Faith could react, Buffy wrapped her arm around Faith, dragging her across the room and tossing them both through the far window.  Faith didn’t let the shards of glass lodging in her skin keep her from running at full speed away from the shack, Buffy a half-step behind her.  The force of the explosion blew them both forward, but Slayers could take a lot more violence than that. 

“You alright?” Buffy asked, and Faith picked a shard of glass out of Buffy’s shoulder.

“Five by five,” she smirked, trying to avoid the pain.  Her dress was torn in several places, and Buffy wasn’t faring much better.  The right strap of her dress had been severed, and Faith had to actively avoid leering.  “Let’s get goin’.”  They ditched their heels and took off in a dead sprint, Buffy leading the way as they made their way in the general direction of the school.

“Hey so,” Buffy breathed out as she continued running, “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about Angel.”

“That so?” Faith gasped, matching Buffy stride for stride.

“Y-yeah!”  Buffy smiled again, and Faith tried to focus on putting one foot in front of the other.  _It’d be real unfortunate if I took a spill at full speed just cuz a cute blonde smiled at me._   “I’m over him.  Or … I’m uh getting there.  And you were a big part of that.  I hope you know that.  Just because he’s back, and he like … needs me right now … it doesn’t mean anything’s gonna happen.”

Faith wondered why Buffy felt that she needed to tell her that, but she couldn’t pretend like it didn’t make her heart soar to hear it.  They slowed slightly as the school came into view.  But Buffy wasn’t finished.   “That part of me is very past.  It’s an important part of my past, and uh well, I just … him coming back threw me into a tailspin a little.  But I know that nothing can happen there.  I know it’s dangerous to even think about it.” 

They halted in front of the doors to the school, and Faith opened it for Buffy.  “M’lady.”

“Such a gentle…lady,” Buffy tried to quip, coming off adorably awkward.  She followed Faith into the building.  “Point is, sorry I’ve been distracted, but it was a weird momentary thing.  Scott’s over, Angel’s getting better, and I’m mega into this Slayer thing.  I’m not going anywhere.”  They turned the corner, and there were the doors to the library.  Buffy stopped before they got there.  “Which is all a long way of saying, sorry that I’m was a bad friend but no need to go blowing up at me or putting up walls, okay?  Are we good?”

“Let’s slay us some vamps, then figure out how those Germans are trackin’ us, then yeah, we’re good.”  She grinned lasciviously at Buffy, nodding her head towards the music they could hear coming from the gym.  “Still got plenty a time to see if Cordy’s head is too big for that crown, then get our dance on.”

Buffy smiled brightly at her, then they kicked the doors to the library open in unison.

~~~~

“I mean, Faith was **_incredible_**.  We didn't have any weapons, so she took on Gorch and his wife by herself, while I grabbed a couple of stakes from the cage in the library.”

“Yeah, okay, but you shoulda seen our girl.  Tossed a stake across the room, dead in lady vamp’s chest like it was nothin’, and while the redneck was whining about his wife, tossed me the other so I could finish him off.” Faith grinned brightly at the disheveled blonde under her arm, the feel of a good battle still pulsing through the both of them.  They’d finished off the rest of the SlayerFest participants without much trouble, then made their way to the gym.

“What about the German guys you talked about?” Willow asked, almost shyly.  The whole group seemed a little taken aback by the sudden appearance of the Slayers, who probably looked like a hot mess at this point.  _A **sexy** hot mess,_ Faith thought, smirking.

“Right, so they were trackin’ us somehow, fancy future tech or whatever,” Faith explained.  Buffy seemed content to let her tell the story.  “And B, being the genius she is, figured it was them uh … **_corsages_** , right?  So, once the soldier boys were in the school, we snuck up on them, used our super sneaky Slayer stealth skills to pin a corsage to each of them, and wham bam thank you ma’am, they took each other out.”  Xander grinned at that.  “And now we’re here.”

“And just in time,” Cordelia said calmly, pretending to be completely unimpressed with their tales of Slayer adventure.  “They’re about to announce the Homecoming Queen.”  Buffy caught Faith’s eyes, and the brunette rolled her own in response before making a gagging motion that drew a giggle from Buffy.  She still had her arm around the blonde, who seemed perfectly comfortable with it there.

Cordy won the crown, as expected.  Faith wondered what might’ve happened if Buffy had decided to take her on, but a sidelong glance at the other Slayer told her it didn’t matter.  She seemed perfectly happy with the way things had turned out, and before long Oz and his boys were back on stage with the tunes.  “Come on, B, you promised me dancin’.”  She pulled the other Slayer onto the floor but not before she noticed a concerned twinkle in Willow’s eye.

They danced together like they slayed together—in unison and without overthinking it.  Faith was careful not to let her moves get too risqué—this was a high school dance, after all, and she wasn’t looking to go tipping everyone off to how lusty she was feeling after taking down all those baddies tonight.  But Buffy seemed intent on not letting more than a few inches of space come between them as they moved together, and it felt like they were both buzzing in the afterglow of the night.  Moments like these, it was almost like there was an energy, a nearly physical connection, a **_bond_** between the two Slayers that they could both feel as firmly as if they were actually tied together.  Faith wasn’t sure what that was about, but she wasn’t letting her brain twist her in knots about it.  She just went with it, content to worry later.

After a couple of songs, Buffy went to grab some punch.  It wasn’t until they broke apart that she could see all the weird looks they were getting.  Faith couldn’t be sure if it was because it was two wicked hot chicks having fun together or if it was because they both looked like they’d been locked in a cage match.  Most of the cuts from the broken glass had already begun to heal, but neither of their dresses had survived without a number of cuts and tears.  And dirt.  A not insignificant amount of dirt.  Faith shrugged.  If anything, she thought Buffy looked that much more amazing after battle.  Gave her an untouchable powerful feel that no amount of makeup or perfect hair could match.

She glanced around, and her eyes landed on a nearby figure she hadn’t expected to see.  Scott Hope was dressed to the nines and dancing with a blonde girl— _guess he has a type._   _This sleazebag dumped Buffy just to take some rando to the dance?  Oh **hell** nah._   She snuck across the dance floor, and the dark-haired little snake never saw her coming.  Faith interrupted their dance with a soft hand on each of their shoulders, her sincerest sweet girl expression painted across her face.

“Scott?  There you are, honey!”  She beamed at him, as if she was genuinely concerned about him.  He looked confused, then immediately wary.  “Hey, good news!  The doctor says that the itching and the swelling and the burning should clear up—” she made a big deal of putting her hands on his chest dramatically but glared at him with all the unmasked threat she was avoiding actually voicing, “—but we gotta keep using the ointment.”  Scott looked both terrified and embarrassed, and Faith reveled in his discomfort.  Then she turned to his date, touching her shoulder softly with a wink and a flirty “hi.”

As she headed back over, she caught sight of Willow and Xander arguing about something in the corner.  She wasn’t close enough to see what they were whispering about, but the body language was impossible to mistake.  Xander kept gesturing angrily with his hand, and Willow was deeply uncomfortable.  Faith didn’t know what was going on there, but she wasn’t yet close enough to them to worry about it.  She just wanted to find Buffy.

“Hey you,” came a soft, melodic greeting, as Buffy snuck up on her from behind.  The girl was full of surprises.

“Hey there, yourself, B.”  She took the cup of punch the blonde offered her. 

“Having a nice homecoming?”  Buffy seemed almost shy in the way she asked, as if she genuinely cared whether Faith had a nice time at a silly dance.  Maybe she **_did_** genuinely care.

“Matter a fact, yeah.  Havin’ a pretty great time.  Thanks for draggin’ my ass out here.”  Buffy’s smile widened, and Faith could get used to that.  Here, in this moment, things didn’t feel so complicated.  Everything just felt right, like they fit together.  Slaying, partying, living life.  And Buffy had eyes only for her tonight.  No Scott.  No Angel.  Faith knew was she was feeling was dangerous.  That if she let herself hope, she was almost certainly gonna get hurt.  But for right now, she was okay with that possibility.  She was also content to let things happen however they were gonna happen. 

The two Slayers spent the rest of the night dancing together with reckless abandon, not a single care in the world.    


	6. Who's Got Your Back?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of fun tension among our fave love triangle, and Buffy is as oblivious as ever. Meanwhile Willow's having issues with Xander, then the whole town falls under the influence of band candy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Band Candy

“He **_kissed_** you?!” 

Willow looked at her, pale blue eyes wide as panic spread across her face.  “Buffy, no!” she hissed.  “He **_tried_** to kiss me!”  Buffy’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, having clearly misinterpreted the story. 

“So you stopped him?”

“Uh hello, I’m all with the boyfriend having.”  The two of them were alone at Willow’s house.  Her parents were out networking or whatever fancy academic types did on weeknights to avoid their daughter.  Whatever.  Buffy was pretty sure Willow’s mom didn’t even know her name.

“I know, I know!  Sorry.  And Oz is wonderful.  He’s been so good to you.  But …  I know you’ve had a crush on Xander since before I even moved here.  I’m just checkin’ in, trying to see where your head is at.”  A shadow passed over Willow’s face.  “So, you really didn’t want him to kiss you?”

“No!”  Willow didn’t hesitate.  Then she smiled a goofy sort of surprised smile.  “Huh.  Well, I guess that’s that.  I mean, that was **_definitely_** that, and I gave Xander Harris a piece of my mind of course!” 

“Ooo spill!”  Buffy figured it was about time someone put Xander in his place.  She’d gotten used to his borderline creepy opinions towards the fairer sex over time—but maybe she’d gotten **_too_** used to it.  He was mostly harmless, but his attitude was seriously in need of adjustment sometimes.  Buffy had thought that finally getting a girlfriend—and especially one as strong-willed and independent as Cordelia—would sort Xander out, but clearly she had been wrong about that.

“Ugh.  It’s just things were so nice.  And so I didn’t see it coming at all.  Everything was normal between us, just the usual friendly closeness.  Then suddenly he got it into his head to lean in and make with the smoochies once I got his bow tie all knotted up.  I nearly tripped and fell, I backed up so quickly.”

“I mean, I was hoping you would spill on the tongue lashing you gave him—” Willow’s eyes went wide as she grimaced, “—oh **_gross_** Will!  Not like **_that_**!” 

Willow chuckled, then got a little more serious.  “It was really … I don’t know, Buffy.  It was confusing and disappointing.  Like … I can’t say what would’ve happened if he’d tried to kiss me a year ago, before Oz.  But I can definitely say it is not something I want now.  Like … even if I wasn’t with Oz, I just don’t …  I don’t see Xander like that anymore… if I ever really did.”

Buffy wondered what she meant by that.  But Willow wasn’t done explaining.  “I just think… he was my best friend, and it’s like I thought I was supposed to have a crush on him or something?  And it wasn’t until I actually fell for someone that I realized that I didn’t really have any idea.  But—”  Willow frowned, and she looked genuinely sad now.  She sighed.  “I didn’t expect that he would do that to Cordelia.  Or that he would ever think I’d do that to Oz!”

“So what happened?  Was it super awkward?”  Buffy felt like maybe she should say something to Xander about this, but maybe Willow had already said everything that needed to be said?  She wasn’t exactly sure what to do with the information Willow was giving her.

“Of course it was awkward!”  Willow nearly bounced off of her bed.  “I got out of that dress as quickly as possible!”  She sucked in air as she realized how that sounded.  “Ugh I … I mean I changed back into normal Willow clothes.”  She frowned again, and Buffy was a little worried now.  “But yeah, it stayed awkward after that.  It’s still kinda awkward, and he made things uncomfortable at the dance too.  It’s just like … since he tried to kiss me, I can’t stop noticing him looking at me with those like googly eyes or whatever and wow now I’m just realized that you already know what I’m talking about and I was so not helpful enough to you back then—”

“Will!”  Buffy chuckled, putting a hand on her friend’s wrist.  “Breathe.”  The redhead pursued her lips in the most Willow of ways, like she was just trying to contain all her frantic nervous energy.  “Yes, I’ve been there with the unwanted Xander attention.  No, it is not fun.  But you never did anything wrong vis a vis me or Xander, kay?  And I’m sorry if he’s making you uncomfortable right now.”

“Honestly, I just feel bad for Cordelia.  And yes, I know… I never expected to find myself saying that either.” 

Buffy found herself nodding, even if she wasn’t a huge Cordy fan either.  “Look, you can never **_ever_** tell her I said this, but Xander doesn’t deserve her.” 

“Ugh.  I didn’t mean for this to turn into a Xander-bashing fest.  He’s my best friend.  But that’s what makes this so confusing!”  Willow was wearing that confusion and tension all over her face.  “So … what should I do?  Do I tell Cordelia?”

Buffy considered that.  She wasn’t really sure Cordy would even do anything—Xander had been so blatant in his leering at Faith, and Cordelia let him off with an icy glare that Buffy wasn’t sure he even noticed.  It’d happened more than once, and based on the attitudes Faith had previously expressed about men, Buffy guessed that Xander was regularly in so much more danger of grievous bodily harm than either he or Cordelia realized.  She shook her head, briefly distracted by that thought.  She wondered what exactly it **_would_** take for Cordelia to break up with Xander.  Would trying to kiss Willow be enough?

“I don’t know, Will.  You’ve been his friend a lot longer—I trust your judgment.  Follow your heart.  I’ll back you either way.”

“ ** _So_** helpful,” Willow snarked, earning her a stern look from Buffy.  “Anyway … any luck selling your band candy?”

“Ugh, I gotta get on that.  I’m hoping Mom will buy a good chunk of it.  I can’t believe Snyder just enlisted us into the band like that.”

“And we don’t even get to play any instruments!”  Because of course, that’s the part that would bother Willow.  _I wonder if Angel eats chocolate?_ Her thoughts drifted to the most recent conversation she’d had with the soulful vampire.  He was nearly to the point where he was fully capable of living his own life and get his own blood, without any help from Buffy.  But neither of them were sure what that was going to mean.  Buffy knew that the safest thing for her own emotional stability would be to avoid him, but he wanted to stay in town and be available in case of big bad.  Except that would mean telling the Scoobies about his return, which was a whole world of no for Buffy.

She had meant what she told Faith, about wanting to be over Angel.  And about nothing happening.  But sometimes that felt like it was impossible.  She felt as though some part of her would always be his.  Maybe that was just a dumb teenage hormone thing, but Buffy didn’t think so.  She could feel the intense draw to him, and it felt nearly overpowering the last couple of times she had visited him.  This weird limbo they had found themselves in was doomed to coming crashing down, and probably soon, but she had no idea how to deal.

“Buffy?”  _Crap._   Willow had been talking that whole time, and Buffy had not a single clue what her friend had said.  The redhead was frowning at her, all with the pouty eyes and sulky breathing.  Buffy made her best apologetic face.

“Sorry, Will.  I totally spaced there.”  _Just please don’t ask me what I was thinking about._   She looked totally suspicious, and Buffy held her breath in anticipation of the impending question she had no idea how to answer.

“Hey so …”  Suddenly Willow seemed like **_she_** was the nervous one.  “Um, you and Faith seemed really close at the homecoming dance.”  _Faith?  Why is she talking about Faith?_   “When did that happen?”

“When did what happen?”  Buffy tried to keep the bewilderment off her face but was sure she failed to do so.

Willow, on the other hand, leaned in with this nervous energy that was very un-Willow.  “You know … like, I mean did you hang out a lot in LA?  She hasn’t been in town that long, but you two seem … you’re just super buddy buddy all of the sudden, with the finishing each other’s Slayer stories and the dancing and stuff.” 

Buffy was taken aback.  She hadn’t realized that there was anything noteworthy about the way she and Faith had acted at the dance.  Sure, they had been close, but that was because they were riding the high of defeating a series of baddies.  Or maybe Willow was just picking up on the bond they shared as Slayers?

“I only met her the day before I came back from LA, but yeah, I mean, we definitely have a connection.  That’s just the whole Slayer thing, though.  She gets certain things about me that no one else really can.”  Buffy didn’t understand why Willow was curious about her friendship with Faith.

“Yeah, but you weren’t all slinky dresses and bright smiles with Kendra.”  It almost sounded like Willow was jealous.

“I **_guess_** not… I don’t know, Will.  Hadn’t really thought much about it.  Faith is a lot of fun to be around, and even though she can be confusing and grumpy sometimes, there’s just this energy I feel when we’re together.”  She narrowed her eyes.  “What’s up with you?  Why do you ask?”

“Nothing!” Willow squeaked.  “I mean, no reason!  Just curious.  She’s all new and shiny, and I get why that’s fun and…”

“Hey.” She put a hand on Willow’s forearm.  “Just because I have a cool new Slayer friend doesn’t mean I’ll forget my cool old witch friend.  Er, not **_old_** just … you know what I mean.”  Willow blushed, eyes darting back and forth nervously.  Buffy wondered why she would feel threatened by Faith.

“Okay good.  Not that I was worried!  I just … you’ve been spending a lot of time together lately, and I don’t know her very well.”  She looked down at the box of band candy beside her.  “What do you really know about her?”

 _Not as much as I’d like to._   “I know that she’s had a rough life and has a hard time letting people in.  I know that deep down, she cares a lot, even if she doesn’t show it very well.”  She added, a little softer, “At least … I **_think_** she does.”  Then she smiled up at Willow.  “And I know that she has my back, especially when it comes to the slaying.”

Willow seemed only moderately reassured.  “Seriously, Will, she’s not some mean girl who stormed into town just to steal your best friend.  You just need to get to know her.”  She glanced at her watch.  “Crap!  Gotta get home now.  We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”

~~~~

“So the guy lives on pig’s blood and spends all his time hiding in that mansion, that’s what you’re tellin’ me?” Faith asked skeptically.  “Sounds boring as hell, if ya ask me, but I guess it’s better than actual hell.”

Buffy was stretched across the foot of Faith’s bed, while Faith was seated against the headboard, legs pulled under her in a way that made the other Slayer look softer than usual.  Her hair was up in a messy bun, and her face was nearly bare of makeup.  She wore simple baggy black sweatpants and a thin blue tee.  Buffy almost felt a little too made up in comparison, but she still planned on getting out of the house that night.

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you.  He’s getting healthier—he’s lucid now, and he’s slowly getting his strength back.  But I still need to bring him blood from the butcher.  Which is getting harder to sneak off and do lately.  Mom’s been drastic ever since I got back.  And Giles is even worse.  I'm supervised 24-7.”

“That’s rough, B.  But don’t even think about asking me to do it.”  She stuck her tongue out playfully.  “I’m still weirded out by the concept of a friggin’ vampire being one of the good guys.”  Faith continued to be doubtful about Angel, but at least she no longer got distant at the mere mention.  Buffy still couldn’t quite figure out why Angel’s return had bothered the other Slayer so much, but ever since homecoming, she’d been much more chill. 

“You should meet him.  See for yourself.” 

Faith rolled her eyes.  “Yeah, dunno ‘bout that, B.  Wouldn’t wanna go accidentally staking your boyfriend.”

“ ** _Ex_** -boyfriend,” Buffy corrected, noticing the hint of a smile that distinction drew out of her friend.  “And there’s an easy fix for that—don’t bring any stakes.”  Faith seemed less than enthusiastic about that idea.  But Buffy couldn’t blame her, not really.  Vampires had only ever been the enemy to her.  A vampire had killed her Watcher.  She fought vampires on a nightly basis.  And Buffy had been up front and honest about the brutality of Angelus.  She didn’t hold it against Faith that she had trouble wrapping her head around the reality of a vampire with a soul being a champion for good.

 “I’m not gonna force you to hang out with my ex or anything, but there’s a good chance if we ever have to face any major evil, it’ll be the three of us fighting side-by-side.  It’d be a good idea for the two of you to at least meet, even if you aren’t immediately best friends or anything.”

“Wouldn’t that tip your Scoobies off to the fact that he’s back in the ‘dale, ‘stead of rotting away in that hell dimension?  Why are you still hiding that from them?”  Her eyebrow raised in challenge, reminding Buffy of a previous conversation between the two that got a little heated.  Faith’s working theory was that, despite Buffy’s protests to the contrary, her unwillingness to tell everyone about Angel proved that she wasn’t over him.  Buffy had scoffed at the idea, but she couldn’t offer any rational reason as to why she was hiding him from Giles and her friends.

It had made sense to hide the fact that the soul restoration spell had worked, since talking about the fact that she had been forced to send the love of her life, rather than his sadistic evil doppelganger, to hell wasn’t a can of worms worth opening.  He was never coming back, and it would only stir up pain for everyone.  Except that he **_did_** come back, and now Buffy had no idea what to do. 

“I think I’m afraid of their reactions.”  Buffy decided to just be honest.  She trusted Faith at this point.  “Xander’s gonna be pissed.”

“Who cares what he thinks?  Dude’s a creep.”  _I **knew** it!_   Buffy shrugged.

“Okay, well I **_think_** Willow would be supportive.  Giles is who I’m really worried about.  Even if he knows, in his head, that Angel is **_Angel_** —and **_not_** Angelus—emotionally, it might not be so easy.”

“Hard to feel any sympathy for the dude who murdered your girl and tortured you for the fun of it, soul or no.”  Faith had a hard look in her eyes, one that worried Buffy a little.  “I can’t really blame G for that, and neither should you.”

 “And I don’t!  That’s what is so hard about this.  It’s why I’m so worried about telling them.”

“You’re just puttin’ off the inevitable though.  And you know it.  Unless you’re plannin’ on stakin’ him, which don’t look at me like that, I know you’re not!  But that’s the point.  They’re gonna find out sooner or later.  Wouldn’t you rather they hear it from you?”  It felt a little weird getting words of wisdom from Faith, but she had a really good point.  Buffy groaned.

“I hate it when you’re right.”  Faith grinned at her slyly, clearly relishing the admission.  “I just … not yet.”  Buffy rolled over onto her stomach and propped her head up on her hands as she faced Faith.  “I’ve gotta bring him some blood tonight.  I uh kinda lied to Mom and Giles about where I’d be.  Told Giles I needed Mom time and told Mom that I had to be out patrolling.  Would you mind…”

“Covering for your sweet ass if one of them gets suspicious?”  Faith finished her question with a tone that made it clear she was frustrated at being put in the position.  Buffy shot her mega puppy dog eyes.  “Dammit B, that’s not fair.  Fine.  I’ll cover so that you can go on your creepy blood date or whatever.”

“It’s not a date!”  She smiled at Faith, reaching to put a hand on the girl’s knee.  “And thank you.  It means a lot that you’ve always got my back.”

“Oh, I do, do I?”  Faith made a face.  “You sure ‘bout that?”

“Oh sure, play tough.  But I’ve got you figured out.  You’re a big softie on the inside.”  Faith looked legitimately concerned by Buffy’s teasing, and she wondered if she had pushed it a little too far.  It was always a tough balancing act, trying to get Faith to open up.  She was like a wild animal sometimes; she spooked so easily.  “Seriously.  Thank you.”

“Whatever, B.  You owe me one.”  She grinned, aloof and untouchable again.  “And I **_will_** collect.  Don’t be gone too long, or I’ll know it really was a date.  And don’t even think about getting all pelvic with the sexy vampire.  We all know how that ends.”  Buffy shoved Faith’s knees, hard enough to jostle the other Slayer. 

“Shut up, Faith.”  Buffy was ninety percent sure they were joking with each other, messing around.  But there was still a tiny bit of discomfort in the air between them.  She sprung off the bed, trying to shake off that feeling.  “I won’t be gone long.  I promise.”

“We’ll see.”  Faith waved her off, and Buffy rolled her eyes before turning and leaving the room. 

~~~~

Buffy entered the mansion through the front door, and Angel was nowhere to be seen.  There was, as always, a fire going in the fireplace, and many lit candles.  Buffy knew it was because of the lack of electricity, but she couldn’t help but feel like Angel was trying to tempt her with perfect mood lighting every single time she visited.

Dropping the paper bag with the quart of blood inside on the nearby coffee table, she thought about moving back into the many rooms of the mansion to look for him, but she had a feeling it would be wise to check the garden first.  Which is exactly where she found Angel, topless in the moonlight.  Buffy was about to crack a joke about his aversion to shirts, but she froze up, finding herself captivated by the sight in front of her.

Angel was slowly working his through a series of poses, each like a peaceful version of a fighting stance.  Like a more martial form of yoga or something.  His face was concentrated but serene, and he hadn’t noticed her yet.  She got the feeling that if vampires were capable of sweating, he would be right now.   His arms were extended, his right hand wrapped around the wrist of his left hand, which faced away from him.  He slowly brought them around in the direction of where Buffy was standing, then raised them, separating his hands as he spread them apart with both palms facing out.  In doing so, he raised his head up, and that’s when he saw her.  Staring at him like an idiot.

“Buffy,” he said, surprised but still calm.

She cringed, not knowing what to say about being caught ogling her shirtless ex-boyfriend doing … whatever it was he was doing.  A something that was undeniably hot.  Buffy stammered out the first thing that popped into her head.  “I didn’t know you could do that.”  _What?  Seriously Buffy, **that’s** what you chose to say?_

Still, it brought a tiny wisp of a smile to his face as stood up straight.  “I-I’m feeling better.”  Except that he his right leg didn’t fully support him as he put his weight on it, and Buffy rushed forward to catch him.  He put his arm around her, letting her strength help carry his weight.  She wondered how much energy shirtless fight meditation took—clearly too much for Angel.  Meaning he was absolutely **_not_** better.

“Let’s get you inside.”  They walked together, and the press of his body against hers had her heart beating faster.  It wasn’t quite electric, but it was warm and comfortable and familiar.  Safe.  It was so strange how being close to Angel made her feel so safe, what with how massively dangerous it actually was in reality. 

“It’s late.  How’d you get away?” 

She smirked.  “Aw, that was easy.  Started a fire in the prison laundry room.  Rode out in the garbage truck.”  He pulled away from her slightly, his expression a mix of confusion and something Buffy couldn’t quite read.  Her hand still rested loosely on his lower back, afraid to let go in case he fell again.  She released him as he settled back down onto the edge of the couch.  “I’m joking,” she muttered wryly, disappointed that she even had to explain that.  She waved a hand dismissively in the air.  “No garbage.”  She took a step closer, refusing to think about how bad an idea it was.  There were only a couple of inches of space between them.  “Smell me,” she teased.

Angel just looked at her, a neutral expression on his face.  The tension between them was palpable.  Part of her wanted nothing more than to remove the small space of separation between them and kiss him.  She sighed then grabbed the nearby paper bag and handed it to him.  Without looking back at him, she stepped away and took a seat across from him.  They both sat stiffly, the silence tense and awkward between them.

“How is uh … Scott?”

“Scott?”  _Oh crap, I said that out loud._   “Oh um… boyfriend Scott.  Uh…”  _Should I tell him?  That’s a bad idea right?  I mean… honesty is good, but if he thinks I have a boyfriend, maybe that will stop us from trying anything that could get us into trouble?_ “A-actually, he’s not …”  She looked at him, and he seemed intrigued by what she was about to say.  Too intrigued.  Almost … hopeful.  _Nope, can’t do it._   “He’s fine.”

She told him that the bag was his, but she was sure he had already smelled the blood in the room.  Vampires were like sharks in that way.  Buffy shook her head to dispel the thought, which always creeped her out a little.  He put the bag aside.  Angel refused to eat in front of her.  She wondered if that was because he was ashamed to be a vampire.  They’d never really discussed it, but she found herself thinking about the time they went ice skating together.  They’d been attacked by mercenaries hired by Spike and Drusilla to kill her, and afterwards, they’d shared a kiss.  It was the first time she’d ever kissed him in vamp face.  He’d shied away from her at first, not wanting her to touch him when he was like that.  She hadn’t cared, though.  She loved him—all of him.  Still, she had to be careful with her tongue—she trusted Angel, but a prick of a fang during a heavy make out session was still a huge risk.  A drop of Slayer blood was like catnip for vampires, even the ones with souls.  Even the ones who loved you.  It would’ve been a huge mood killer. 

Angel broke her reverie with a confusing question.  “You’re being careful, right?” 

She tried not to blush, feeling almost as if he could read her mind.  Or at least, her facial expression.  “With Scott?” she asked, trying to recover and deflect away from what she’d actually been thinking about.

“The slaying,” he responded, his voice a little tighter than before.

“Oh,” she said softly, exhaling.  She smiled brightly as she thought about how much easier slaying was now that it was a team sport.  “Yeah, of course!  Full of carefulness.”

“I worry about you.”  The concern in his warm brown eyes supported the sentiment.

“No need for worrying, nowadays,” she assured him.  “Faith’s got my back.”  She had told him about the new Slayer in town last time she’d visited, when she explained the whole Slayerfest ’98 adventure.  When she told the story, it always brought that rush back to her, the exhilaration she and Faith had shared as they turned the tables on their would-be hunters.  She hadn’t even considered the danger involved, but now she guessed maybe that was why Angel found himself worrying.

“She’s incredible, Angel.  Faith fights with such passion and strength.  The way she moves—it’s like she was born to be a Slayer.  She’s so fluid and graceful, it almost makes me jealous.”  Buffy knew she was gushing a little, but it was because she felt so safe and comfortable around Angel, even though things were a little awkward between them since he came back.  He just had this way of putting her at ease, and she found that her honest feelings just sort of poured out of her.  “It’s never a dull night when we’re patrolling together.  The slaying … it’s almost like it no longer feels like a burden, this scary thing that I **_have_** to do.  It’s almost … fun.  With Faith there, I’m not constantly watching my back.  We protect each other.  It’s like … we’re connected.  I can **_feel_** her when we’re out there together.”

Buffy thought of the night before.  They’d been ambushed by four vampires, who were surprisingly smart enough to work in tandem, instead of trying to attack one by one like most younger vampires.  But their ‘in tandem’ was nothing compared to her and Faith’s.  It was like they moved as one when they really got in sync with each other, one Slayer kicking out into an attack as the other slid fluidly around her to block one.  At one point, Faith had done this sort of flip/roll thing over Buffy’s back as she flung a stake straight into a charging vampire’s chest.  It was just … wow.  That was all Buffy couldn’t think to describe it—she had no other words than wow.  It was so cool.  She smiled, feeling that heat and energy just thinking about it.

“That’s uh … that’s good, Buffy.”  His features suddenly looked harder, as if he had put up a wall between them.  _But why?_   “I guess I’m glad that you’ve got someone out there to look out for you.”  He didn’t seem too interested in talking about Faith any further.  _What is it with these two?_  Angel looked at her as if seeing something more than what she was saying, and in that moment, she really hated that he could see through her in ways that no one else could.  But she couldn’t really figure out why she suddenly felt like she was standing naked in front of him, and not in a fun way.  _What is he thinking?_

She decided to push a little further, see if she couldn’t get him to say more, or at least react in a way that would give her an idea of what he was seeing that Buffy wasn’t.  The only downside of that was that she’d have to get honest and vulnerable.  About her feelings for him.  “Plus …  look, I’m not … you’ve been through so much worse, but …  I d-didn’t handle your …” _Crap, I can’t even say it out loud._   “After Acathla, I ran away.  I couldn’t deal.  With any of it.  I changed my name, got a crappy job and a crappy apartment in LA.  Cut off all ties.  I was done with the slaying.  I couldn’t face … what I’d had to do.  To you.  Couldn’t handle all the pain I felt at losing you.  So I just shut myself off from the world.”

Angel’s features softened again.  He sat forward and opened his mouth to speak.  “No,” she cut him off.  “Just let me…  It’s still hard to talk about, okay?  Maybe I was immature.  Maybe I hurt my friends.  Giles.  Mom.  … But none of them could understand what I was going through.  None of them understood, even when I came back.  But Faith… she understood it even before we talked.  At least, she made me feel understood.  She helped me defeat these Nazi demon slaver guys in LA, and she woke me up.  She’s the reason I came back to Sunnydale, and she was the only one who was there for me when everyone else just wanted to judge me and scold me for running.”  Recognition spread across his face, but of what, she couldn’t be sure.  She still felt bad about bringing this up.  As if three lonely months in LA could compare to hundreds of years of torture.  “She …  she’s got my back in more ways than just with the slaying.  Faith’s mega rough around the edges, but … it almost feels like she’s my closest friend right now.  The only person who really gets me.  And I’ve only known her for a couple of months.”

He didn’t say anything, and if anything, his demeanor was even less decipherable.  _So much for pouring my heart out._   She blew out a frustrated breath.  “Anyway, speaking of Faith, she’s covering for me with Mom, so I’ve gotta get going.”

She stood, but Angel did the same.  “Buffy, wait…”

“No, it’s fine.  I can’t …”  She looked at him, but only briefly.  He looked almost wounded, which made exactly zero sense to her.  “I’m sorry.  You’ve been through a hell I can’t begin to comprehend, and honestly, I really don’t want to.  I don’t … I don’t know what we’re doing here.  But I’m gonna keep helping you.  Okay?  But I really do need to go.  Now.”

“Okay.”  He sounded sulky, of all things.  Buffy felt deeply confused by the sudden turn in Angel’s emotions.  But that just made her even more eager to get out of there.

“I’ll see you later.”  And she fled quickly through the door.

~~~~

The sound of the doorbell ringing put Faith on edge.  Joyce didn’t really have much in the way of gentleman—or lady—callers, so whoever was at the door was probably looking for Buffy.  Little late for a traveling salesman… if that was even a thing anymore.  So … probably Willow or Giles. 

Buffy’d been gone maybe thirty minutes or so.  She said she wouldn’t be gone long.  Even so, looked like Faith was gonna have to cover her ass anyway.  She set down the book she was reading— _Frankenstein_ , that Mary Shelley chick was pretty badass—and made her way out of the room and towards the stairs.  She could hear stiff British tenor of Giles’ voice coming from downstairs, and yup, she definitely needed to get down there.

Faith got downstairs just in time for the tail end of the ‘I thought she was with you, but **_I_** thought she was with **_you_** ’ conversation.  Joyce and Giles both turned to look at her as she reached the bottom third of the stairs.  “Faith.  Perhaps you could, uh, shed some light on Buffy’s current whereabouts?”

She considered her options here.  She still wasn’t convinced that Angel was all house-trained and peaceable, no matter what Buffy said.  Blondie had blinders on when it came to her ex, even if she insisted she was over him.  Maybe she needed protecting, not only from the vamp, but from her own urges.  And that definitely had nothing to do with any feelings Faith was having.  She so wasn’t jealous.  Just worried.  Concerned, like any good friend would be.  A good friend who secretly wants to jump her good friend’s bones.  So to speak.

Another option would be not mentioning Angel, since that was a pretty big breach of Buffy’s trust and might blow up in her face, but simply … not covering for her very well.  If B got in trouble, that might mean more supervision.  Maybe she’d be forced to stay away from Angel, and Faith could say that she tried.  Probably also meant more team slaying under Giles’ watchful eye.  Not as ideal as the two Slayers out on their own, letting the passion of the slay take them wherever it may—but better than Buffy spending that time tempting herself with hunky undead beefcake.

But Buffy had been good to her.  Better than anyone else in her life, other than Diana.  Even when Faith got all weird or standoffish, usually because of Angel, B never really blew up at her or brushed her off.  Faith wasn’t quite to the point of trusting Buffy, but she was getting worryingly close.  And she couldn’t bring herself to screw the other Slayer over, even if it got her away from Angel.  She sighed internally, then put on a happy face.

“Hey G, what’s up?  Lookin’ for the Buffster, huh?”

Joyce’s brow furrowed a little, but Giles was the one to respond.  “Yes, well, given that Buffy told me she would be spending time with her mother, and vice versa to Joyce… we’re a little concerned.  Please tell me you know where she is.” 

 _Yeah, so you can both bust her and make her feel bad for being nearly an adult and having her own life?  Pass._   She could read both their body language pretty easily.  They were still afraid she was gonna make a run for it again.  Leave them stuck with the poor man’s version of the Slayer. 

It was so weird for Faith that these people who had known Buffy for so long didn’t seem to be paying any real attention to her now.  If they had any clue what B was feeling, where her head was at these days, they wouldn’t be so worried.  Well… not of her running away, anyway.  _How is it that I’m the one, of all people, who is even trying to understand?_   The situation seemed topsy turvy to Faith.  She wasn’t caring girl.  She wasn’t the one who had good friends who could depend on her.  She was all walls and edges and repressed trauma.  Get in, get out.  Don’t be vulnerable.  Don’t let anyone in.  Don’t let them think you care.  Avoid getting hurt again at all costs.

Yet here she was, having B’s back while all these supposedly well-adjusted, normal friends and family could only see some twisted version of the girl they invented in their heads.  At least, that’s how it seemed to Faith.

“Yeah so … don’t be mad at her, okay?”  Faith had thought up a cover story right after Buffy left, just in case.  “She’s at Willow’s.  Red’s having some sorta major boy issues with everyone’s favorite werewolf—” Joyce gasped, nearly dropping the chocolate bar she was munching on, and Faith cringed.  Guess she still didn’t know Willow had a literal furry for a boyfriend.  _Geez B, do you tell her anything?_   Frankly, Faith thought it was more surprising that Red was dating a boy than that she was dating a werewolf.  Oz was a chill dude, and Faith had a soft spot for his whole stoic philosophy guy thing, but Willow gave her serious sapphic vibes.  To the point that it made her worry that she could recognize some of Faith’s feelings for Buffy.  So not the point right now though.  _Head in the game, Faith._

“Anyway, it’s complicated and personal, and Red made her promise not to tell anyone.  Only reason I know is cuz I was lurkin’ nearby and overheard.  She’s just bein’ a good friend, alright?”  Faith couldn’t tell if they were buying it.  She’d been told she wasn’t the best liar, but she felt confident that her story was plenty believable.

Giles raised an eyebrow.  “I just saw Willow and Oz when school got out, and everything seemed fine.”  Faith narrowed her eyes, hoping she seemed hurt that Giles was accusing her of lying.  He pulled off his glasses and set about wiping off the lenses, which was a tick she had already noticed he had when he got uncomfortable.  And that’s when Buffy opened the front door and walked in, visibly shrinking at the sight of the three of them standing in the foyer.

“Hey B!”  She moved to stand by the other Slayer, cocking a playful eyebrow at her.  “I know you weren’t supposed to tell, but I was just explaining the sitch with Red and you havin’ to cover for her—”

“That’s quite enough, Faith,” Giles cut her off.  _Yeah, they definitely weren’t buying it._  

Buffy’s eyes went wide and shifty, then she gestured towards the living room.  “Do you guys wanna watch some television?  I hear there's a very insightful Nightline on.”  As if a simple change in subject could distract her mom and Giles.

“Buffy, you lied to us,” Joyce scolded.  “And you made us into your alibis.  That’s … playing us against each other, and that’s not fair.”

Giles glanced at Faith before turning a stern look on Buffy.  “Not to mention roping Faith into your lies.  I called Willow.  You also lied to her about your whereabouts.  We were all concerned.”  In an odd contrast to her seemingly upset demeanor, Joyce unwrapped another candy bar, then nonchalantly handed it out to Giles.  He broke off a piece, offering a surprised thanks.

Buffy's eyes shot to Faith nervously.  “Look, I’m sorry but I had to….”  Her voice trailed off, as she was seemingly unable to make up an acceptable excuse.  No way she was gonna fess up about Angel being back.  She turned and walked into the living room, but not before grabbing Faith by the wrist and pulling her along. 

Joyce followed them, Giles on her heel.  “Were you at the Bronze?  What was happening there that was so important?”

Buffy’s nose crinkled, and she let go of Faith to make an exasperated gesture with her hands.  “Bronze things.  Things of Bronze.”  _Nice recovery, B._   She tried not to grin at the other Slayer’s complete ineptitude at developing any sort of cover story.  Meanwhile, Joyce continued chomping down on that candy bar.  It was a little unnerving, if Faith was being honest.

“You're acting really immature, Buffy.”  _Geez, Joyce, because you’re handling everything like a perfectly rational adult._   Faith was this close to snapping at the older woman, but also she kinda liked having a roof over her head and free food.  So she held her tongue, even if it felt really strange to do so.

Speaking of immature, Giles decided he couldn’t wait until he finished chewing and swallowing his chocolate to scold Buffy further.  “I know I'm not your parent, but I am responsible for you. I think your mum's right.”  They were both seated on the couch now.  This time Faith couldn’t hold her tongue.  She was much more willing to stand up to G than Joyce.

“You think **_she’s_** acting like a child?” Faith asked, eying the empty chocolate wrappers beginning to pile up on the coffee table.  The implication didn’t seem to faze them, so she tried a different tact.  “Maybe that’s because you’re **_treating_** her like a child.” 

Buffy smiled at her appreciatively before frowning at the two adults in the room.  “You're both scheduling me twenty-four hours a day.  Between the two of you, that's forty-eight hours!”  Faith thought that was a bit of hyperbole, but Buffy’d get to a real point sooner or later.  “I’m almost eighteen!  I just wanna be able to make a few decisions on my own.”

Joyce’s eyes got that scared look again.  “The last time you made a decision on your own, you split.”

Buffy bristled at that.  “Yeah, and I took care of myself.  I don't need this much active parenting.”

Joyce looked affronted.  “You can't really be trying to use this summer as a reason you should be trusted.”

“Geez, Joyce, really?”  _Oops._   Faith couldn’t help herself.  “If you were paying any kind of attention to your daughter lately, you’d see that she’s not looking to make a run for it anymore.  You gotta let that fear go.”  Faith refused to look at Buffy.  She could stand up for her or be her emotional support, but she sure as fuck couldn’t do both at the same time.  She had a rep to maintain, and besides, she was pretty sure she wasn’t capable of that much emotional bandwidth.

As far as she could tell, Buffy’s attention was still on Giles and Joyce.  “You can't babysit me all the time.  I need you to back off a little.”

Giles held up a hand, responding (a little petulantly, Faith thought), “Uh, alright, come on. Let's, let's not, uh, freak out.”

“ ** _'Freak out'_**?  Really Giles?”  Buffy was as taken aback by G dropping some casual slang as Faith was.  But he went on as if nothing was amiss.

“Mmhm.”  He stood up.  “Uh, I think you should go to bed.  Both of you.”  _Holy shit, he didn’t seriously think he had any power whatsoever to send two teenage girls, neither of whom was his daughter, to bed?  Did he?_  “Um, we're all tired.”

Faith started to make a snarky comeback, but Buffy put a hand on her arm.  She looked at both of them like they were crazy, which _uh, valid_.  Then she pulled Faith away and up the stairs.  The reached Faith’s open door before Buffy halted and turned back to her.  She started to ask Buffy what the hell she thought was going on with the adults, but then she found herself in a fierce and unexpected embrace from the blonde.

Faith stiffened, but only for a split second.  Then she wrapped her arms around the shorter Slayer and held her tight.  She couldn’t pretend she didn’t love the way Buffy felt in her arms.  After thirty seconds or so—which felt like both an instant and an eternity to Faith—she pulled away.  But not far.  She still had her arms wrapped around Faith’s shoulder, clasped behind her neck.  Those crystal green eyes searched her own, warm and full of emotion.

“Thank you.”  Faith’s eyebrows furrowed.  She couldn’t focus on anything other than how gorgeous B’s eyes were.

“Uh, for what, B?”

“For trying to cover for me.”  Buffy’s eyes moved back and forth between Faith’s.  “For always having my back.  Sometimes it feels like you’re the only one who does.”  Faith’s breath caught in her throat, and for a heartbeat, she thought Buffy was going to lean in and kiss her.  Finally.  But instead, the blonde wrapped her up in one last quick hug before breaking the contact between their bodies.  “You’re the best.  I’m really glad you’re here.”  She looked down at her feet, uncomfortable all of the sudden.  “But it’s been a weird, frustrating night, and I’m gonna go pass out, okay?”

Faith stared at her for a good five or ten seconds before realizing she should respond.  “Oh, uh … yeah, cool.  I get it,” she said, completely unable to cover up how dazed she felt.  “Sleep tight or whatever.”

“You too, Faith.  ‘Night!”

~~~~

“Do you know that you have the parking brake on?” Willow squeaked out, very obviously terrified for her life.  Faith had to work hard not to laugh at that, but it was a fair concern.  If Buffy crashed the car before they got to the Bronze, the Slayers would probably escape with nothing more than a concussion.  Willow on the other hand…  Faith got the sense that her witch mojo wasn’t powerful enough to cushion her from being tossed through a windshield. 

Buffy offered a half-hearted, “Uh huh,” before releasing the parking brake, and Faith felt herself pushed back in her seat as the SUV jumped into a rapid acceleration.  Buffy couldn’t drive for shit, but honestly, Faith found that strangely endearing.  And the feeling of being near death at all times was pretty thrilling to her.  She couldn't figure why Joyce had given B the keys, though. 

Also cute, in a different way, was the fact that Willow was too sweet to call Buffy out.  Instead, she settled on nervously asking if they were going to the Bronze, reminding Buffy that the SATs were tomorrow.

“I can study at the Bronze,” Buffy replied confidently.  “A little dancing—”

“Oh hell yeah,” Faith shouted playfully.

“—A little uh … cross-multiplying.”  She grinned wickedly at Willow, and the look sent a sharp tingle down Faith’s spine.  “You know what we need?”  Buffy reached to turn on the radio, literally dipping her head below the dashboard to look at the station dial.

Willow screamed, “Eyes on the road!  Eyes on the road!”  And this time, Faith absolutely couldn’t stop herself from laughing loudly.  Buffy skidded around a corner at a speed that was this close to flipping the SUV, then both she and Willow shot her a glare.  But they managed to make it to the Bronze without crashing, and without Red having any kind of heart attack. 

After hopping out of the back seat, Faith slid her arm around Buffy.  “You know B, maybe I should drive us home after this.”  She loaded her voice with as much sultry teasing as she could muster.  Buffy only rolled her eyes as she shrugged off Faith’s arm.  But Faith noticed that she couldn’t keep a bright smile off her face.

What they found inside the Bronze was beyond their usual amount of unusual.  It wasn’t just that it was packed, much more than normal.  It was that all the new faces were … well, **_old_**.  The 40-and-over crowd outnumbered the late teens and early twenties kids, and that was as freaky as it was unsettling.  The three of them walked tentatively into the club, eyeing the newcomers warily.  Buffy and Willow recognized a teacher, a saucy silver-haired chick who was very clearly stoned.  The pervasive feeling of weird didn’t stop Willow from making eyes at Oz, though.  Dingoes Ate My Baby were playing the club that night.  Which was a wicked cool name for a band, in Faith’s estimation. 

When it felt like things couldn’t get any more bizarre, a short little bald man came up and put his arms around Willow and Buffy, a beyond goofy grin across the lower part of his overly bulbous head.  “Hey gang!  This place is Fun City, huh?” 

Buffy practically leapt away from his touch, then turned with wide eyes and shrieked, “Principal Snyder?!”

He didn’t seemed fazed by her wigging out.  “Call me Snyder.  Just a last name, like—”  He straightened nearly to the point of posing, and he was still as short as Buffy, which was saying something.  She was an adorable little hobbit.  “—Barbarino.”  As if any of them was going to get that reference.  He continued behaving as if he was a drunk teenager, pumping his fist to the music before asking if they thought Ms. Barton seemed wasted.  He made his way back into the crowd, and now Buffy and Willow were both majorly freaked out.  At this point, though, Faith was pretty amused by the whole thing.  Probably some sort of curse that she and B would have to take care of, but at least this one was funny.

When the band finished their set, Oz came over settling in to Faith’s right.  Buffy asked, “So we’re all agreed, right?  Something's definitely changing them?”  Faith and Oz nodded.

“A spell?” guessed Willow. That’s what Faith was leaning towards. 

Oz looked around, almost in wonder.  “They're teenagers.  It's a sobering mirror to look into, huh?”  _Speak for yourself there, wolfy._   The squat little principal caught sight of them again, complimenting Oz on his hair.  Then a bunch of portly old dudes, including Willow’s very topless doctor, started singing _Louie Louie_ on stage.  And not well.  Buffy, Willow, and Oz stared in morbid fascination.

“It just gets more upsetting,” Willow whispered. 

Buffy’s face scrunched up, and Faith followed her gaze to a pack of older couples making out on the dance floor.  Faith grinned wickedly, but Buffy could only manage to sputter, “No vampire has ever been **_that_** scary.”  _Poor little repressed Buffy._   Far as Faith was concerned, old folks had just as much right as anyone to get their freak on.

But she didn’t have time to tease Buffy.  The other Slayer reached over and grabbed her by the wrist again, ready to lead her through the crowd.  Faith wasn’t sure how to feel about how comfortable with touching her Buffy had become.  “We've gotta figure out what's going on. This has Hellmouth fingerprints all over it.”  Faith nodded her agreement, but then she noticed something.  ‘

“B, I think it’s the chocolate.  Check it.”  She gestured to the guys playing pool nearby.  They all had a chocolate bar in hand, and there were empty wrappers scattered around the table.  They all looked around, and sure enough, there were wrappers everywhere.  “That’s why your mom and G were acting weird last night.”  A lightbulb lit up over B’s head.

Willow seemed almost offended by the revelation.  “God, using candy for **_evil_**?!”

“My parents ate a ton,” Oz muttered. 

Buffy released Faith and put a firm hand on Snyder’s shoulder, squeezing just enough to be threatening.  “Who’s behind it?”

“I don’t know,” he answered, looking legitimately confused.  “It came through the school board.  If you knew that crowd…”  He shook his head.

“Where did it come from?” Buffy snapped, losing her patience.  “Do you know where to get it?”

“Yeah.”  Buffy caught Faith’s eyes, and they nodded at each other.

Buffy gestured at Willow.  “You and Oz get Xander and Cordelia, go to the library and see what you can find in the books.  Faith and I will go with ratboy here and see about the source of this.”

“Candy curses?’ Oz asked, mildly amused.  Buffy shrugged.

“What about Giles?”  Willow directed the question at Buffy, but her attention was on Faith, an uncomfortable look on her soft features. 

“Oh god,” Buffy moaned.  “He’s with my mom.  Hopped up on this candy.  No way are they still at his apartment.”

“Why’s that?”  Faith was curious, plus she figured a teenage Giles would be fucking hilarious.

Buffy had her body language under control, mostly, but there was a discernible panic in her eyes.  “Giles at sixteen was less ‘Together Guy,’ more “Bad-Magic, Hates-The-World, Ticking-Time-Bomb Guy.”  Faith was as startled as she was impressed to hear that G had a darker wild side.

“Buffy, I’m sure your mom will be okay.  Giles—even Ripper Giles—wouldn’t hurt her,” Willow tried to reassure her.  Buffy looked scared, and Faith grabbed her by the hand.  The blonde smiled softly at her.

“Yeah, you’re right Will.  And it’s pointless to waste our time trying to track him down.  We’ve gotta take care of this curse as quickly as possible, and just hope for the best.”  Again, Willow was making with the judgey eyes at Faith, and particularly at her hand, which was still wrapped comfortingly around Buffy’s.  She didn’t know what Red’s problem was.  Fortunately, Buffy didn’t notice.  “Alright, let’s go, Snyder.” 

~~~~

Faith hadn’t been joking about driving, especially not with all the adults in town having lost their minds.  Buffy had only fought her on it a little, especially once Faith emphasized that she had driven herself cross-country and that time was of the essence.  The tiny troll posted up in the back seat and excitedly directed them towards the factory where the candy had been manufactured.  Along the way, they came across numerous adults running around aimlessly, fucking around and getting into hilarious, but mostly harmless, trouble.

“The hell kinda curse even is this?”  Faith wondered aloud.  “Not like anyone’s hurting themselves or others.”

“Maybe, but no one's protecting their houses.  Everyone's just... wandering.”  She frowned.  “Where are all the vampires?  Soup’s on, but no one’s grabbing a spoon.”

“Candy must be a distraction.”

“Yeah, but from what?  I get the feeling it’s something big.”  They continued on, getting increasingly less comfortable with what had previously seemed like such a silly situation.  Snyder directed them through downtown, just to the edge of what looked like a warehouse district.  There were a ton more people here, and Faith couldn’t drive the SUV any further.  She parked it along the street, and the three of them got out.

They started walking towards what had to be the candy factory, as Faith squinted to see what was at the center of the crowd.  There were two men with cases of candy, tossing bars out into the increasingly rowdy crowd.  She turned to see if Buffy had noticed, but the blonde’s attention was firmly elsewhere.  Faith followed her gaze and … _oh._

“Daaaaaamn, get it Giles,” Faith leered at the couple making out passionately against the nearby wall.  It was only after Buffy punched her on the arm that she realized it was Joyce he was snogging. 

“Mom?  Giles?!”  _Oh no, Blondie’s losing her mind._

Giles didn’t even bother to look at Buffy as he muttered, “Go away.  We’re busy.”

“Yeah, we can see that, G.”  Faith couldn’t stop grinning, even when Buffy glared at her.  This was delicious.  She was going to give everyone so much shit about this once the curse was broken.  Giles looked ridiculous.  His hair was ruffled, and she thought maybe he was wearing just a hint of eyeliner.  He was clearly going for a sort of James Dean motif, in his dingy white tee shirt, with one shoulder rolled up around what looked like a bundle of loose joints.  He had a red plaid shirt wrapped around his waist.  Meanwhile, Joyce looked hot as hell.  Pale blue v-neck blouse tucked into a short black skirt.  Under that wicked feathery coat.  If Faith had to guess, she’d stolen the choker she was wearing out of Faith’s room.  Still, the dark, knee-high stripper boots had to be the best part.   _Holy shit, the Summers women are hot as hell._

Unfortunately, Buffy couldn’t find the fun in this.  She couldn’t seem to handle any of it, like at all, in fact.  “Mom!”  She pulled Joyce off of Giles.

“Hey!” Joyce protested.  Buffy started to scold her about the coat she was wearing— _holy shit, did G steal her a coat?_ —but then Giles grabbed her arm and pulled her around.

“Back off!” he roared.  And then Buffy got scary.  Legit scary, even to Faith. 

Her eyes got that dangerous smolder she reserved for vampires and demons.  Her voice was controlled, but only barely.  “Giles.  Think about this.  You wanna fight me, or you wanna let me talk to my mother?”  For all of his tough guy façade—and hell, maybe it wasn’t a façade at all, based on what Buffy and Willow said about ‘Ripper’—he immediately backed down, dramatically lighting a joint as he gave them space.  Faith didn’t blame him.

Buffy tried and failed to reason with her mom.  She insisted that Joyce didn’t need anymore candy, ordering her to go home.  Joyce’s reaction was priceless.  “Screw you!”  She glared defiantly at Buffy, as if she was the kid and Buffy was the nagging mom.  “I want candy.”

“Mom?!” Buffy gasped, her freak out not slowing down anytime soon.

“You wanna slay stuff, and **_I’m_** not allowed to do anything about it.”  She lifted her head petulantly.  “Well, this is what **_I_** wanna do, so get off my back!”

Buffy tried to plead further, but Giles reached around her and pulled Joyce away.  “Oh for God’s sake.  Just let your mum have the sodding candy.  C’mon, Joyce.”  His accent sounded different.  Faith hadn’t guessed that there were different sorts of British accents, but clearly there were.  His speech was much less stiff and posh now, more of a lilting and casual flow of words.  Almost made her think of south Boston.

Buffy stopped them and stepped up to Giles again.  “Listen to me.  You need—”

“No, **_you_** listen to me.”  He jabbed a finger towards her chest, and oh wow, Faith couldn’t wait to see Buffy beat the crap out of the Watcher.  Nothing against the guy, but he was pushing all her buttons, and it’d be quite the show.  “I’m your Watcher, so you do what I tell you.  Now, sod off!” 

For a second, Faith really thought B would deck him.  Instead, she plucked the joint from his mouth, threw it down defiantly, and stomped it out.  “Take her home,” she ordered.  _Sure that’s what you want, B?_

Buffy stalked away from her mom and father figure, focus turned on the task at hand. Faith turned and mouthed, 'Killer coat,' with a bright smile at Joyce, who responded with an enthusiastic thumbs up. Then Faith strode beside her easily, placing a comforting arm around the clearly on edge Slayer.  “Damn B, you really gave G a piece of your mind.”

“Yeah, well I’m about to do a lot worse to these guys handing out the cursed chocolate.”  _There’s my girl._   The two of them leapt onto the platform and made short work of the two dudes.  Giles and Joyce had followed them, so Buffy pulled her mom in behind them, refusing to let her out of her sight. 

There wasn’t much inside other than a bunch of boxes and a tallish guy with poofy dark brown hair and a blood red collared shirt, with his back to them as he talked on a phone.  She heard a soft, British “This is far out,” from behind her, and she snorted.  _Really G, a random warehouse full of boxes of chocolate gets ya goin’?_ He must’ve been more stoned than she had realized. 

“…Town's wide open.  You guys can go anytime.”  Faith snorted.   _Another Brit?_ She guessed this guy was reporting back to whoever had needed the big distraction.  Buffy stalked towards him.

“Ethan Rayne.”  _Guess she knows this guy._   Faith wondered if he’d made trouble in Sunnydale before.

Ethan warned his contact that they might want to hurry, before ending the call.  From behind her, Giles practically growled, “Ethan.”

“Ripper,” the tall, dark man replied curtly.  Faith was kinda digging the nickname, and she turned to make note of it to Giles.  Except that then Ethan was on the run.  Buffy took off after him.  The chase took them through the gut of the warehouse, around stacks and stacks of boxes, this way and that, before Faith came to a halt behind Buffy.  Normally, a regular dude—not that Faith was sure this was a regular dude—wouldn’t have a chance in hell of outrunning two Slayers.  But this place was a maze that he clearly knew his way around much better than them.  Ethan was nowhere to be found, and Buffy was taking stock of their surroundings.  Faith got the feeling that their guy hadn’t quite made his escape.

Giles came panting up behind them.  “Where … bloody hell!”  He was completely out of breath.

“That’s what smoking will do to you,” Buffy scolded.  “Now be quiet.”

Giles ignored her.  “Well, where’d the bastard go?”

Faith was starting to get as annoyed as Buffy was, and she didn’t give a damn about Giles’ history with this Ethan guy.  Unless they used to bone.  Because that’d be a story she would be interested in.  But … just later.  “Shh!” she whispered to him.  Then Buffy abruptly turned and spun a kick into a large wooden crate.  She pulled at pieces of wood until Faith could see Ethan’s face.  Buffy pulled him out of the crate, with little concern for whether the sharp edges of the broken wood caused him any harm. 

“Look.  A box full of farm-fresh chicken.”  Faith chuckled.  She loved Buffy’s quips.  She leaned up against a nearby stack of boxes, doing her best to look intimidating.  She was content to let Buffy question the guy, since she already knew him.

And B didn’t disappoint.  She was very clearly over all of this.  “So, Ethan, what are we playing?  We're pretty much in a talk-or-bleed situation.  Your call.”  Faith knew that they were in a hurry, but she still hoped he’d pick bleed.

Giles did too, apparently.  “Hit him.”  Buffy turned to glare at Giles, but only for a second.  Ethan explained nervously that none of this was his idea.  Giles paced off to the side, as if fighting against his urge to pounce on this Ethan guy.

”Meaning?”

“I'm subcontracting.  It's Trick you want.”  That caught Faith’s attention.  Trick was the fancy suited vamp who had been Kakistos’ right hand, then planned out the whole SlayerFest thing.  He was the closest thing to a nemesis that Faith had of late.  “I'm just helping him collect a tribute... for a demon.”

“He's lying,” Giles insisted impatiently.  “Hit him!”  Faith rose up, tending to agree with Giles, but Buffy stopped her.

She looked softly at Faith and said, “I don’t think he is.”  Then turned back and shouted to Giles, “And shut up!”  This was apparently a step too far for G.

“You're **_my_** Slayer, go knock his teeth down his thr—”

“Giles!” Buffy roared, silencing then older man.  That didn’t stop him from pacing though. 

Faith was no longer amused by him.  The mention of Trick had put her on edge.  She grabbed Ethan by the shirt and lifted him just enough that he had to stand on his toes.  She got in his face and growled, “What demon?”

Buffy punched him solidly in the face before he could finish lying, “I don't remember,” and Faith released him so he’d go stumbling back.  She flashed a sultry grin at Buffy.  Faith loved teamwork.  Behind them, Giles excitedly jumped and pumped a fist into the air.

“Lurconis,” Ethan gasped through the pain, his nose bleeding profusely.  “Demon named Lurconis.  They wanted a way to get the tribute away from people.” 

“So you're just Diversion Guy?” Buffy asked.

He winced.  “More than a diversion.  Well … they said the tribute was big, so big that people would never let them take it. That people had to be out of it. And later on, when the candy wore off, they'd blame themselves.”

Faith moved a step closer, and Ethan flinched.  “So, where's Trick?”

“I don't know exactly.”  Faith moved to choke him, but Buffy held her back.  Giles urged her to hit him again.  Buffy glared at Ethan, making it clear she’d let Faith do whatever she wanted if he didn’t stop lying.

Ethan waved his hands in surrender.  “No! I-I-I really don't know. Delivering the tribute?”

Buffy moved closer, releasing Faith.  They both stood over him threateningly.  “Which brings us to the bonus question, and believe me when I say a wrong answer will cost you **_all_** your points.”

Faith finished for her, “What's the tribute?”

“Please don’t hit me again; I honestly don’t know.”  He cowered helplessly, and Faith believed him.  “I just know it’s big.  Not involved in that part of the plan—I’m just here to have a little fun.”

“Fine,” Buffy sighed.  “Watch him,” she told Faith, who grabbed the guy as they all followed Buffy back to where the phone was.  She called Willow to see if they had figured anything out.  Once she explained the demon was named Lurconis, Red figured out that the demon ate babies.  Yeah, that creeped them all the hell out.

While Buffy talked to Willow, Faith caught Ethan eyeing a nearby crowbar.  She smacked him in the back of the head hard enough to force him down to his knees.  “Seriously, dude, don’t even think about it.”  Then Giles pulled out a freaking handgun and pointed it at Ethan’s head.

“I really wouldn’t,” he muttered, and Buffy’s eyes went wide as she turned to see what was going on.  She handed the phone to Joyce and got back into Giles’ face.

“Giles, give me the gun.”  She held out her hand, and the fire was back in her eyes.  This time, though, he stood his ground, staring back at her without responding.  She raised her eyebrows threateningly.  “Giles … **_now_**.”  He glared at her, then practically pouted as he handed the gun over.  Buffy flipped the safety on, then stuffed it into the back of her jeans.  Faith bit her lip.  That had been so fucking hot.  Fortunately, Buffy didn’t notice her attention.  “Someone find something we can tie him up with.”

Immediately, Joyce offered a tentative, “Um…”  She pulled out a set of handcuffs, giving Faith the distinct impression that she and Giles had gotten into some sort of altercation with a cop.  That the cop got the wrong end of.  Faith giggled, but Buffy’s eyes were as wide as saucers.

“ ** _Never_** tell me,” she ordered her mom.  She tossed the handcuffs to Faith, and she secured him to a nearby railing in the wall.  “We’ve gotta get to the hospital.”

~~~~

It turned out that the hospital was completely a dead end, as someone had already gotten to the newborns.  But it was at that point that Giles had conveniently remembered something about Lurconis living in filth, and they took off for the sewers.  Where they found a bunch of babies, Trick, and a big fucking snake.  Buffy took out the snake with some sort of gas pipe that she broke off then turned into a flamethrower with a nearby torch.  Which was, you know, incredibly sexy.  Faith had gotten in a pretty good pounding on Trick, but she hadn’t had time to grab a stake earlier that night, and he escaped because she had to save Giles from the aforementioned giant fucking snake. 

But, in the end, they’d saved the babies, and the adults were all finally starting to come down off their candy highs.  Faith and Buffy celebrated by chilling on B’s bed with a pint of ice cream.  They were cuddled up against her headboard, with Faith’s arm around Buffy so that they would both have easy access to the ice cream in Buffy’s hand. 

At least, that was what Faith said as she scooted a little closer and draped her arm around the other Slayer.  But Buffy hadn’t had any issue with it, simply shrugging and smiling as she cuddled into Faith’s side.  Buffy explained the backstory of Ethan Rayne, how he and Ripper were in a gang back in England that was obsessed with weird rituals and occult magic, and now he was a worshipper of chaos gods who popped in every now and then just to stir up trouble. 

“So … have you ever asked G?”  Faith wiggled her eyebrows, then dipped her spoon back into the rocky road for another bite.

Buffy looked at her quizzically.  “Asked him … **_what_**?”  Faith giggled.  The girl was clueless.  It was almost enchanting how naïve she was.

“Wow, B.  Seriously?  You couldn’t see the vibes between Ethan and G?”  Buffy kept up the doe-eyed confusion.  “The **_chemistry_** between them?” 

Realization dawned suddenly, and Buffy made a face as though she was sucking on the sourest piece of candy in existence.  Faith fought to keep a straight face.  “Faith, **_please_** don’t be asking me what I think you’re asking me.” 

“Sorry, Blondie, that’s **_exactly_** what I’m asking.  How are you not curious?  I **_so_** need to know if Giles and this Ethan guy used to get it on back in his Ripper days.” 

Buffy shuddered under her arm.  “Faith!  Groooooss.  Ugh, now I’m having images.  In my brain!  Horrifying images.  I’m going to have nightmares.”  She turned her head so that she brought the full force of her glare down upon Faith.  Figuratively speaking, obviously, since she had to look up to catch Faith’s eyes with her own.  The glare burned at Faith, but she wasn’t the kinda girl who lost at chicken.  “Seriously, Faith, how could you do that to me?”

Faith rubbed her arm soothingly, hoping she wasn’t pushing this moment too far.  The last thing she needed was Buffy remembering that she was straight and flipping out about how cuddly the two Slayers were being right then.  “B, what is the deal with you and sex?  It’s like any hint of even a possibility that people **_might_** have gotten pelvic at some point, and you turn into a five-year-old.”  Buffy scoffed, and Faith lifted her arm enough to pat Buffy on the head condescendingly.  “A very scary, badass five-year-old,” she added.  And still, she didn’t shrug out from under Faith’s arm.

“I’m not… I mean, ugh it’s just…”  It was unbearably cute when Buffy started stuttering like this.  Which Faith hated to admit, even to herself.  She had a lot of pride, and a tough girl reputation to maintain.  And her reputation was important to her.  It was a shield against the world.  It was vital that no one got the wrong idea that they could fuck with her.  She refused to let anyone hurt her again, not now that she had the power.  Yet here was this tiny blonde girl, reducing Faith to a gooey sap with heart-eyes.  _Fuck, what is wrong with me?_

Even as she cringed internally, she couldn’t pull away from the warmth of Buffy’s body.  Or lie to herself about how much she wanted this.  Still, gotta maintain her edge somehow.  “I. Ugh. Just. … what, B?  Just admit that you’re a total prude.”  Faith kept her voice light and playful, even as she teased Buffy relentlessly. 

“I’m **_not_**!”

“Of course not, I mean you’ve had sex exactly once, though points for doing the diddy with a vampire. ”  Immediately, Faith knew she’d pushed it too far.  Buffy pulled away, setting the ice cream down on the nightstand, as she turned around to face Faith.  There was a good two feet of distance between them now, and Buffy’s glare was no longer playful.  What’s worse, there was a pain in her eyes that Faith had never seen before.  “B.  **_Buffy_** , I’m sorry.  That was … shit, I’m sorry.  I pushed it too far.”

There were tears in the blonde’s eyes, but she blinked them away furiously.  “You’re damn right you pushed it to far.  Don’t **_ever_** talk about that.  You have **_no_** idea—”

“Fuck.  Buffy.  I know.  I’m sorry.  Please, god, I’m fuckin’ awful, and my brain filter doesn’t work, and I just …”  She frowned, pushing herself up off the bed in one fluid motion.  “I’ll just go.  I’m sorry.” 

“Faith, wait.”  She stopped, turning back to Buffy.  Her eyes were softer now.  Faith sucked in her lips, biting down a little apprehensively.  “You didn’t mean it?”

“Nah, B.  Honest.  I was just tryin’ to crack a joke, and it just sorta came out before I could think about how you’d feel.  Really, I didn’t mean it.”  Buffy’s eyes looked at the floor, then back to Faith.  She seemed wary, and the pain was still there, floating in those fierce green eyes.  Then she exhaled and leaned her head back, running a hand through her hair.

Her voice was soft, almost a whisper. “It’s okay.  I get that you didn’t … you weren’t trying to be hurtful.”  Buffy sighed, looking up at Faith cautiously, from under her eyelashes.  “It’s just a painful subject for me, okay?”

“I know it is.  I’m sorry, B.”  Faith wasn’t used to groveling like this, but she knew she fucked up.  Buffy didn’t deserve that.  In that moment, Faith actually didn’t give a single fuck about her reputation or about her walls.  She just didn’t want Buffy’s eyes to have that pained look anymore. 

And this time, she got her wish.  Buffy slid back against the headboard, but she left some space between them this time.  Faith knew better than to try to touch her again right then.  The air was tense.  So Faith took a different kind of risk.  “You know that G and your mom totally banged, right?”

“Dammit, Faith!”  Buffy shoved her all the way off the bed.  Or most of the way, and Faith took care of the rest. 

“Damn B, sore subject?  What, you don’t want your mom to be happy?”  Faith cautiously let her lips twist into a grin, and while Buffy glared at her, it was of the pleasant variety.  Plus, she could tell the blonde was fighting to keep a straight face.

“You’re the worst.  I don’t even know why I let you stay here.”  Faith stood, raising an eyebrow to ask if she could sit back on the bed.  Buffy rolled her eyes, but didn’t say no.  Faith edged back onto the side of the bed.

“Whatever, B.  Your life’d be boring as hell without me.”

“We live on a hellmouth, Faith.  If there’s one thing Sunnydale will never be, it’s boring.”

“All the more reason you need me ‘round.  Who else is gonna watch your tiny back?”  Buffy threw a pillow, and it hit Faith straight in the face.  But only because she chose not to catch it.  Pillow to the face seemed like a fair punishment for the relentless teasing that momentarily went way too far.  Also for the regular watching of Buffy’s ass, rather than her back.  But what B didn’t know wouldn’t kill her.


	7. Jerkin' Me Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwendolyn Post comes to town and completely blows up the cozy familiarity Buffy and Faith had established with each other. All of the underlying conflict between Angel, Buffy, and Faith comes to a head. And there's a bit of Faith backstory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revelations

Faith was feeling fucking great lately.  Everything was looking good.  She had a nice place to live, food to eat, and a job—calling, duty, whatever—that she got a hell of a kick out of.  Plus the whole sleeping one door down from the wicked hot blonde she had a crush on; that part was pretty great too.

They’d been out slaying together most nights the past week, and it meant was never lacking for thrills.  They were so in sync it was scary.  For the vamps, that is.  Of course, that there were plenty of opportunities for Faith to nearly make a completely idiot of herself.  She’d nearly kissed Buffy at least three times, but the moment passed them by before she could force herself to go for it.  The other side of that was that she still felt uneasy about the whole Angel thing.  Buffy insisted that he was nearly back to full strength, but she kept going to see him.  She didn’t even need to bring him blood anymore.  Still, she’d insisted on running by his mansion a couple of nights after patrol, and while she invited Faith to come along, she had shrugged off the idea of meeting him. 

Honestly, she wished he would just leave.  There was no reason to stick around, other than him hoping he could get back together with Buffy.  If he wanted to be all noble champion of good repenting for his sins, there was plenty of evil out there in the world for him to fight.  Away from Sunnydale.  She was sure he was staying for Buffy, and that could only end badly.  Best case scenario was that they orbited around each other, cautiously avoiding getting pulled back into a relationship, and Buffy never moved on to anyone else because she couldn’t stop making heart eyes at the vamp.  Worst case, they gave into the temptation, dude lost his soul again, and Faith had to stake the guy before he went on another murder spree.  _Come to think of it,_ _that doesn’t sound too bad.  Maybe that’s actually the best case._

Either way, Angel staying in town and Buffy continuing to visit him—they were playing with fire.  But she couldn’t figure out how to tell Buffy that without taking the risk of revealing how she felt about the other Slayer.  No way could she explain her fears about Angel without sounding jealous, and she’d already come close to that line several times.  Buffy knew she had her concerns, but she kept going anyway.  And she still hadn’t told anyone else.  It drove Faith insane that Buffy refused to face how very necessary that conversation was.  With Angel going out to get his own blood now, there was a very real chance someone would recognize him around town.

_But hell, that’s none of my business.  B’s gonna do what B wants to do.  She always does._

Tonight, Faith was meeting Buffy at the Bronze before they rendezvoused with Giles at the Sunnydale Cemetery.  He’d been Faith’s official Watcher for over a month now, and tonight was the night when he would really test them in action, as a team.  Big crowd tonight, since it was a Friday, and Faith slipped in quietly through a side door that was supposed to be locked.  Dingoes Ate My Baby weren’t on the stage, so they must’ve been between sets.  Buffy said Oz was playing tonight. 

As she drifted, she kept an eye out for any of the Scoobies.  Her eyes caught on the double gingers of Oz and Willow, and yup, whole gang was there.  Buffy was right in the middle of the two couples, and Faith stalked a little closer, quietly trying to listen in a little on what they were saying before she made her presence known.

“So, are you dating somebody or not?” Cordy asked Buffy.  _Why were they talking about this?_   Buffy looked away coyly, and suddenly Faith was dying to know what she would say.

“I wouldn't use the word **_'dating’_** _.”_ She glanced around slyly at her friends, and shit, she looked gorgeous when she was all mischievous like that.  “But I am going out with somebody.  Tonight, as a matter of fact.”  _Hey, that’s me._   Faith’s stomach turned in her gut, and she felt nervous.  So not dating… but not **_not_** dating?  She couldn’t decide if she was reading too much into Buffy’s body language.

“Really?”  Willow asked, sounding legitimately surprised.  “Who?”

 _That’s my cue._   Faith walked up and pulled Xander aside a little so she could squeeze in beside Buffy. “Yo, what's up?”  She draped an arm around Buffy, grinning wickedly at the group before eyeing the other Slayer.  “Hey, time to motorvate.”

Buffy slid her arm around Faith’s waist, pulling her a little closer.  Faith’s breath caught in her throat again.  “Really, we're just good friends.”  She flashed a bright smile at her friends, before starting to move Faith towards the exit.

“Just two Slayer gals bein’ Slayer pals,” Faith called over her shoulder, giggling a little.  She wasn’t exactly sure how to read Buffy’s energy right now, but the blonde was all touchy feely and playful.  That was good enough for Faith.  They walked out of the club, arm-in-arm. 

“The Scoobies tryin’ to get you to start datin’ again?”  Faith asked casually, willing herself not to give away any genuine interest in the answer to that question.  “Didn’t they learn their lesson with Scotty the Sleazebag?”

Buffy rolled her eyes, grinning as she hip-checked Faith.  “Nah, they were just curious about how I’ve been spending my nights lately.  Figured I’d mess with them a little.  It’s not like they don’t know I’m hangin’ with the foxy new Slayer in town.”

“Foxy, huh?  Sounds like I’m wearin’ off on ya, B.”  Internally, Faith scolded herself for getting all excited at Buffy calling her foxy. 

“Maybe.  Could be that’s a good thing though.”

“I dunno, bet Red thinks I’m a bad influence.”  The odd looks from the witch had continued, and Faith couldn’t figure out what her deal was.

“Nah, she’s just a little jealous.”  _I bet she is, but not how B’s thinkin’._ “She’ll get over it eventually.  Just gotta get used to you being around now.”  They parted as they reached Faith’s car.  After sitting down in the driver’s seat, she reached back for the small duffle bag.  “Brought you some Slayer gear.”

Buffy pulled the black beanie out of the bag as Faith pulled out into the street.  The cemetery was nearby, but Faith hadn’t felt like walking tonight.  “Thanks, Faith!”  Buffy changed into her dark tennis shoes and shrugged on the dark hoodie.  “So, big night with Giles, what with the notes and the judging or whatever?”

“Or whatever,” Faith muttered.  She had to maintain some level of cool, but that was getting harder and harder around Buffy lately.  “Like I care what G thinks.  We get the job done.  That’s all that matters.”

“Oh please, you just want someone to show off for.  Don’t even pretend.”  _Dammit._   Faith refused to justify that with a response, pulling the car to a stop on the side of the street near the entrance to the cemetery.

“You ready for this, princess?”

“Don’t even start with that princess stuff!  I’m armed.”

“So am I, B.  But you wanna throw down with me, you’ll just have to save it for after.  G’s waitin’.”  She gave Buffy a light shove as they walked side-by-side into the cemetery.  He was just inside, not daring to venture farther without the Slayers.  Vampires were never 100 percent guaranteed on any given night, but this was the biggest cemetery in town.  Most likely place to find a couple of the undead fuckers.

“Faith.  Buffy,” Giles greeted.  “Ready to go?”

“Two Slayers, reporting for duty!” Buffy responded, the snark in her voice subtle but unmistakable. 

“Yes, well.  Quite.  Let’s go for a walk then.”  He was carrying a thermos and a thick notebook.  They walked in careful silence for maybe five minutes before they stumbled upon two vampires.  Giles held out his hands to signal them to stop, then he caught both their gazes before going to take a seat on a nearby stone bench.  He pulled out a pen and opened his notebook, then gestured for them to go ahead.

Faith winked at Buffy, who called out to the vampires.  “You boys lookin’ for a good time?”  They turned immediately, leering at the Slayers.  The new ones were the best, because they hadn’t learned about Slayers yet.  To them, they’d just stumbled upon a couple of dumb teenage girls who took a stroll through the cemetery on just the wrong night.  Idiots. 

“You want the big one or the little one?” Faith asked, ignoring the charging vampires.  She hoped it’d get them even more pissed and stupid.

“I better take the big one, wouldn’t want the newbie to hurt herself.”

“Oh, you’re gonna pay for that—shit, we been jokin’ too long.”  They turned a second too late, and the vampires were on them, tackling them to the ground.  Looked like the big one had chosen Buffy after all.  Buffy got in a quick backhand to knock her vampire off of her, but Faith decided it’d be more fun to wrestle hers around for a bit.  As Buffy leapt to her feet and dodged a punch, Faith rolled her vampire over, pulling him off the ground as she stood and tossing him over a stone bench.  She glanced over to see Buffy dodge a leaping spin kick. 

 _Damn, the big one’s spry for a baby vamp._   Faith charged after her guy, hopping over the bench in a single bound.  He started to throw a punch but went instead for a kick to the gut.  His moment of hesitation was all Faith needed, and she grabbed his foot, flipping him backwards into the air so that slammed to the ground on his chest.  She grabbed him by the back of his jacket and threw him back over the bench.  Faith’s eyes met Buffy’s, and the slightest nod told her all she needed to know.  Faith pushed off of the bench to bring a hard kick down on her vamp’s face, driving backwards to meet the back of Buffy’s vamp, who she had also directed back towards Faith.  Then they both moved in for the kill, finishing their slays in unison.

After the vamps crumbled into dust, Buffy moved toward her with a raised hand.  They high-fived, holding onto each other’s hands for only a brief moment.  “Synchronized slaying,” Buffy joked.

Faith grinned at her as they walked over to Giles.  “New Olympic category?”

“Whadaya think?” Buffy asked the Watcher.  And that’s when the other person watching the fight announced her presence.

“Sloppy,” said a wry British voice.  She was tall, thin, and dressed very clearly like a Watcher.  Her light brown hair was pulled up into a severe bun, a small string of pearls showing from under the collar of her bland beige button-up shirt.  Over it, she wore a dark suit jacket and a matching skirt.  She looked younger than Giles but older than Buffy and Faith.  And clearly she had some sort of issue with how the Slayers went about their slaying.

“You telegraph punches, leave blind sides open and, uh, for a school night slaying, take entirely too much time.”  _Geez, lady, sorry for having a little fun with it._   “Which one of you is Faith?”  Giles looked right at her.  _Thanks, G._

“Depends,” Faith responded, her tone not at all pleasant.  She didn’t care for this chick at all, what with the massive stick up her ass.  “Who the hell are you?”

“Gwendolyn Post, **_Mrs._** ”  _Right, like I care that some uptight loser married you._   “Your new Watcher.”  Faith exchanged a frustrated look with Buffy.  Giles still hadn’t said shit, which was also annoying.  Just when things start to settle down and get cozy, shit had to go and change on her.  Such was life, as far as Faith had experienced.

“Whatever.  G, I drove here.  B and I will meet you and the new girl back at the library, yeah?”  He hadn’t said a word, and she didn’t give him a chance to do so then.  She just grabbed Buffy’s hand and led her past the Post chick.  She didn’t bother to look at the woman.

Buffy didn’t say anything until they got into the car.  Faith peeled out the minute she got the engine running.  “So, uh, the new Watcher is … uh …”

“An uptight bitch,” Faith finished the thought.  Buffy pursed her lips, but her eyes said she agreed.  A bunch of thoughts raced through her head.  For all her protestations to the contrary, Faith was just starting to build a connection with Giles.  The guy was like a father to Buffy, and she trusted him with her life.  That made Faith want to trust him, too.  Plus, she liked sharing a Watcher with Buffy.  It meant that they usually trained together, and Faith really didn’t want that to change.

By the time they reached the school, Faith had already decided she was out on the new Watcher.  As they walked in, Faith asked Buffy, “Hey, things are really good right now, right?”

Buffy frowned, her brow furrowing a little in puzzlement.  “Yeah?”

“I mean between you and me.  With the slaying, that is.”

“Oh!”  Buffy brightened.  “Definitely.  We’re kickin’ ass and takin’ names.”

“Good.  Good.”  She held open the door for Buffy.  “Cuz I’m thinkin’ screw this lady.  Things are great.  No need to go changin’ anything.”

“Faith.”  Buffy touched her elbow, just for a moment.  “Not sure it works that way.”

“Well, screw that too.  We’re the Slayers.  The Chosen Two.  They got a bunch of Watchers out there, all stuck up and British or whatever.  Only two of us.”  She shrugged, and they turned the corner near the library.  “I don’t like this chick, I don’t gotta put up with her.  If the Council doesn’t like it, they can come here and try and fight me over it.” 

Buffy didn’t respond, and they found the library empty.  The two Slayers took off their jackets, tossing them onto the big table in the center of the library.  Buffy went ahead and took a seat, but Faith had too much nervous energy.  She kept pacing while they waited for the Brits to catch up.  They didn’t have to wait long.

Neither Giles nor Post addressed them as they entered the room.  Each made eye contact with the Slayers, but Giles immediately headed for his office to drop off his coat, while Post removed her jacket and set it down on the counter.  As Giles came back into the room, Faith decided to cut to the chase.

“Look, I don’t need a new Watcher.”  She had her right hand on her hip, while she gestured with her left.  “No offense, lady.  I just have this problem with authority figures.  They end up kinda dead.”  She shrugged sarcastically, then sat down next to Buffy.

“Duly noted,” Post replied primly.  “And fortunately, it’s not up to you.”  Buffy frowned before mouthing ‘I told you so.’  Faith rolled her eyes.  Post walked past Giles, then promptly began criticizing his apparently lackluster book collection.  _This bitch is really not tryin’ to make friends._   Faith guessed she could at least respect that, not that she was about to be taking orders from her.

The two Watchers bickered back and forth about random books Faith had never heard of.  She couldn’t care less, and instead, she focused on Buffy’s face as the other Slayer watched the Brits go at it.  It was cute how much she seemed to root for Giles’ ability to prove himself to the new girl.

Then she turned her haughty gaze back on Faith.  “I have been sent by the council for a very important reason.  Faith needs a Watcher.  I am to act in that capacity and report back.”  She stood impossibly straight, with her hands clasped tightly behind her back.

 _Wow, this bitch is so full of herself._ “Excuse me, Mary Poppins, but you don't seem to be listening.”  Faith bristled with the frustration that she didn’t care to bottle up at all right now.

Giles moved to calm the situation.  “Now, Faith, if the council feels that you need closer observation, then... we will all, of course, cooperate.”  She slumped back into her chair, glaring daggers at the traitor.  _Maybe **you’ll**_ _cooperate, G, but ain’t nobody forcing me to do anything here._   _Where’s Ripper when you need him?_

Faith got some small satisfaction out of Post’s next words.  If Giles was trying to ingratiate himself to the uptight new Watcher, he was failing entirely.  “The council wishes me to report on the **_entire_** situation here—” her eyes surveyed Giles gravely, “—including you.”

Buffy jumped in, quipping, “Mm!  Academic probation's not so funny today, huh, Giles?”  She and Faith shared a wry grin, making the best of the situation.  He glared at both of them, and they each returned the harsh stare.

“The fact is, there is talk in the council that you have become a bit too... **_American_**.”

“Me?” Giles squeaked.

“Him?” Buffy and Faith murmured in unison, completely taken aback by the impossible accusation.

Post ignored all three of them.  “A demon named Lagos is coming here to the Hellmouth.”  She shot another look at Giles.  “Mr. Giles, an illustration of Lagos, if you please.”  _I so don’t give a shit about any of this._   Faith slumped down into her chair even further, tuning out the continued bickering between the Watchers about this demon and some glove he was looking for.

“What do you propose?” Giles asked.

A tight smile formed along Post’s thin lips.  “Well, if it's not too radical a suggestion, I thought we might kill him.”  _Hah.  Bitch has got jokes._   “I suggest two Slayers at full strength for a coordinated hunt.”  Buffy looked at Faith, clearly just as bored as the brunette.  Faith’s only response to the suggestion—which is what they obviously would’ve done without her input anyway—was to stare blankly at Post.  “We believe the glove to be buried in a tomb somewhere, so Lagos will be headed for the cemetery.”

 _Ah right. **The** cemetery._   Faith smirked as Giles explained that there were, in fact, twelve cemeteries in the Sunnydale city limits.  Post winced, before she drawled, “Well, we'll just have to take them one at a time.”  _What a genius idea.  We’d’ve never thought of that one._

Post directed Giles to search his books for anything that could help them pinpoint the glove’s location.  As if she were suddenly in charge.  “We will begin tomorrow at sunset.  Faith—” Her eyes tore away from Buffy’s, cutting to Post as the sound of her name.  “With me, please.”

She considered telling the woman to go fuck herself.  It wasn’t like she could physically move Faith if Faith wanted to stay put.  But she didn’t want to make anything worse for Buffy or Giles.  She decided to go along with this, for now at least.  With one last frustrated look at Buffy, she slid out of the chair and moved, slowly, to follow Post out the library.

Her Slayer hearing was just sharp enough to catch Buffy asking Giles if they could kill Post, in her sweetest ‘oh please’ voice.  _That’s my girl._

~~~~

Buffy couldn’t believe how much she needed to destress right now.  Faith got home late, and she didn’t want to talk about whatever she and **_Mrs._** Post had gone off to do.  That woman rubbed both of them the wrong way.  If it was so important to her that they know she was a Mrs., where the hell even was her husband?  Waiting on her back in England, twiddling his thumbs next to a lukewarm cup of tea?  She rolled her eyes and kept walking.

She was worried about Faith, and she hated that the other Slayer wouldn’t talk to her.  Faith got like this sometimes, Buffy had already learned, and she still hadn’t figured out a good way of getting past her walls when it happened.  And now this bossy Mrs. Post showed up, and Faith went from ‘screw them’ to silently following her out the door, and Buffy couldn’t understand why.

When Buffy got up that morning, Faith had already had breakfast with Joyce and left, without a word to Buffy.  _Did I do something wrong?  Should I have stood up to Giles and Post more fervently?_   Everything had gone from comfortable and fun to confusing and painful in only a few hours, and she felt lost again.

So of course, she was going to see Angel.  Despite her instincts screaming at her that they were playing with fire.  But she didn’t know what else to do.  At least he felt safe and familiar.  And he had been teaching her tai chi.  She desperately needed some calm right then.

For once, Angel had his shirt on when she arrived.  She was careful with the doors and curtains, making sure none of the sunlight made direct contact with Angel’s skin.  “Buffy, hey.  What uh are you doing here?”  He had been reading a book, probably one of those French philosophy books that gave Buffy a headache.

“Sorry.  Uh, I’d have called ahead but you know, you don’t have a phone here.  Or electricity.  Umm….”  His chocolate eyes followed her, openly puzzling about her nervous energy.  “Look, it’s just been … last night was really frustrating and confusing, and I **_really_** don’t wanna talk about it, but I was hoping maybe you’d be down for some tai chi?”

Angel looked as though he might ask more questions, and Buffy couldn’t help the wide-eyed stern look she shot him.  “Look, maybe I’ll feel like talking after, but I just … really need this right now, okay?”

“Yeah, alright.  We’ll have to do it in here—for uh obvious reasons,” he made a face at the sunlight streaming in overhead through the windows near the very high ceiling of the room.  It was sufficient to light the place during the day, but Angel didn’t have to worry about the sun beaming down on him. 

“Kay,” Buffy responded, then unzipped and shrugged off her hoodie, the same one she’d been wearing last night.  Angel removed his shirt, and Buffy remembered why this was so dangerous for them.  _Oh well._   He took his position in front of the fire, and she found hers, a couple of feet to his left.  She had made sure to put her hair up in a loose, messy bun with a small headband to keep it out of her face, and now she was dressed only in a simple black tank top and matching sweatpants. 

They began, and she took her cues from Angel.  She was starting to get the hang of it, but not so much that she could progress beyond keeping her eyes on him as she mirrored his movements.  They spent the next ten minutes in silence, centering themselves as they went through a series of poses and movements.  Buffy followed Angel as he stretched his arms high above and ahead of him, hands together.  Then they lowered their arms to waist level, and she tried to match the graceful bend of his elbows.  Angel made these poses looks so simple sometimes, so fluid and beautiful.  This one was new, and she had to keep an eye on him even though the last motion had turned them so that he was sort of behind her in this pose.  They extended their arms and raised them slowly, Buffy moving a heartbeat after Angel.

Then everything changed.  Angel took two steps towards her, placing his hands over hers.  Buffy looked up at his hands on hers as he pulled her arms down and around her through the rest of the movement.  She continued her breathing and turned slowly to face him, as if this were a perfectly normal part of their routine.  Her eyes stayed downward, focusing on their hands until she was facing him fully.  Her head only went as high as his collarbone normally, but he had bent his head and there were only a few inches of space between them now.  Caught up in the heat of the moment and the pounding of her own heart, Buffy did something stupid.  She met his gaze, saw the love in his warm brown eyes, and gave into the gravity between them that always felt so inevitable.  She angled her head up towards his and moved in, but just before their lips brushed, her alarm bells went off.  She pushed away from him rapidly, turning and walking away to where she had set down her hoodie.

“I gotta go.”  _Crap crap crap.  Buffy, **what** are you doing?!_   “Big night for us Slayer types.”  It occurred to her that she hadn’t told him anything that was going on, and he could maybe be some help to them.  He might know something about the Glove of Mynethingie or the demon Lagos.  But she couldn’t argue with the very loud voice of reason in her head, screaming to get out of there as fast as possible.  “I better hurry before somebody figures out what we’re doing?”

Angel’s voice was tense and frustrated.  “What **_are_** we doing?”

Buffy stopped in her tracks, but she didn’t turn back towards him.  “Training,” she answered, firmly.  But she couldn’t keep lying to herself like this.  “And almost kissing,” she whispered, finally admitting it.  She turned back to face him, and his shirt was thankfully back on now.  “Sorry.  It’s just … old habit.  Bad, **_bad_** habit.  To be broken.”

He stepped closer, and she refused to meet his gaze.  “It’s hard.”

“No, it’s not.  Cold turkey.  That’s the key to quitting.”  She said it so confidently that she almost believed it.  A long silence set in between them, then she finally glanced back at him before shifting her eyes away again.  “You think they make a patch for this?”

“You have to go.”  _Big fat no, then._

“I **_really_ ** do,” she agreed, turning to leave again.  But again, she only made it a few more steps before giving into her body’s desire to turn back to Angel.  She could at least see what he might know about Lagos.  “I’m gonna try and vent a little hormonal angst by going out there and killing a Lagos, whatever that is.”

Angel suddenly looked worried.  “Lagos?”

Buffy’s eyes narrowed.  Maybe he did know something.  “Some demon looking for some all-powerful thingamabob—”

“The Glove of Myhnegon,” Angel explained.

“Yeah, you know about it?”  He turned away from her, clearly feeling the gravity between them as acutely as she did.

“Heard of it.  I didn’t realize it was in Sunnydale.  Legend has it it was buried in an ancient family crypt, but no one knew which family ended up with it.”  He sat down, eyes fixed on the fire.  “After dark, I’ll see if I can’t track it down.”  He sighed.  “Come by after midnight, if you can get away.”

“Okay.”  She turned to leave.

“And Buffy?  Be careful.” 

~~~~

If it was possible, Buffy felt even more frustrated when she returned to the mansion late that night.  Despite Mrs. Post’s idea for a coordinated two-Slayer hunt for Lagos, she and Faith had been completely MIA all day.  Giles was extra cranky because Post had made him look stupid the night before, and Buffy became more and more frustrated the longer she went without being able to talk to Faith.  Made even worse by the inexplicable feeling that she shouldn’t tell anyone, especially Willow, about her confused feelings surrounding Faith.  She didn’t understand the gut instinct, but she followed its urging.  After patrolling six different cemeteries with no sign of Lagos or Faith, she really felt like whaling on something.  She hadn’t even been lucky enough to stumble upon some vampires she could beat up.

Being around Angel was really the last thing she should be doing when she was all wound up like this.  But he might have good news for her.  And she could really use any kind of win at all right then. 

“I think I have what you're looking for.”  He took her hand and led her over to a short pedestal on the far side of the room.  There was a large … **_something_** … there, wrapped in what looked like a thin, dirty sheet.  _Guess he found the right crypt._

“Great,” Buffy snarked.  “Just, wherever this was gift-wrapped, remind me not to shop there.”  He unwrapped it to reveal an ancient-looking gauntlet.  It was made mostly of tarnished grey metal, with chain mail and dark leather in places.  The fingers were long and claw-like, and the glove looked like it would fit up to the elbow on any normal-sized person.  The creepiest part was the opening, which was ringed with maybe ten hinged, razor-sharp claws that resembled evil metal crab legs.

“The Glove of Myhnegon.”  _Thanks, Captain Obvious._

“The world's ugliest fashion accessory.”  Buffy reached for it, but Angel immediately grabbed her hand.

“No, don't!” he ordered firmly, fear in his voice.  “Once you put it on, the glove can never be removed.”  She looked up at him, swallowing hard.

“So... no touching.”  She looked down at their hands meaningfully.  “Kinda like us.”  Angel’s eyes widened, and he released her hand before wrapping the glove back up.

She walked away, towards where she had left her hoodie.  “Why are you coming to me for help?  Shouldn’t you be working with the new Slayer on this?”  His voice was quiet and noticeably uneasy.  _Not this again._ Buffy was so not in the mood for passive-aggressive Angel right now.

“Faith has a new Watcher,” Buffy practically growled.  She could feel all the pent-up tension of the day tight in her shoulders.  “She breezed into town ready to criticize every little thing me and Giles do, and made a big speech about working together to stop Lagos.  But she ran off with Faith, and we haven’t seen either of them since last night.”  Buffy’s frustration bubbled over a little, and she slammed her fist into the nearby wall.  She felt a little bad about the crack she left in the stone, but it wasn’t **_that_** noticeable.

“Why does it bother you so much?”  She glanced over at him, and he was standing by the glove, arms crossed and brow furrowed as he watched Buffy.  She looked away.  Honestly, she didn’t know why it bothered her so much.  She just wanted to talk to Faith.  Wanted to know if she’d done something wrong.  Why the other Slayer was avoiding her.  Anything.  She couldn’t quite admit to herself that they had grown so close lately that she was feeling Faith’s absence more acutely than she would’ve expected.

She missed her.  Angel walked a little closer.  “What is it with you and this girl?  What is she to you?”  Buffy eyed him cautiously.  She didn’t understand what he was getting at.  Faith was her friend.  They shared a connection.  _Am I not allowed to have friends now?_ Angel had never gotten so … **_jealous?_** … about Willow or Xander.  Why Faith?  He didn’t even know her. 

Buffy felt as though the only two people in her life who really understood her were conspiring against her to make life as hard as possible.  Neither had any interest in getting to know the other, and for some reason, it was becoming very clear that they both wanted to assume the worst about the other.  It was beyond frustrating.  Buffy’s emotions continued to build, and the wave was close to crashing down now.

She stalked angrily over to Angel and got right in his face.  “Why are you suddenly so interested in Faith?  Why does **_she_** bother **_you_**?!  And why the hell are you both so dead set on not meeting each other?”  Buffy glared up at him, and Angel stumbled on his words.  He seemed just as irritated as she was, but he also seemed conflicted and unsure of himself.  She waited for an answer, ignoring her body’s growing awareness of their proximity to each other.

“I … dammit, Buffy.  I just … there’s a new person in your life, and she seems important to you, and I don’t know her.  But she’s a Slayer, and I’m a vampire… and I’m just being cautious.”  _Fuck it._   She gave into her urges, pushing onto her toes and interrupting his rambling with a kiss.  It was soft and tentative at first, but only for a moment.  As their bodies realized what was happening, his arms wrapped tightly around her, pulling her tightly into his broad, solid form. 

Her tongue found his, and she felt as though all the rage and frustration she had bottled up all day came pouring out.  Passion overwhelmed her, and she lost herself in Angel’s taste, his scent, the feeling of his arms surrounding her.  It was everything she remembered and more, the long anticipation of it adding to the need her body felt.  _The hunger._  

 _No!_   She broke off the kiss, pushing him away.  She’d almost lost herself to it, and she didn’t want to think about where things might’ve gone.  What they might’ve let themselves do.  She had no idea how long they had been kissing, and that was a huge problem.

“Oh God.”

“Buffy…” He stepped towards her, even more unsure of himself now, and she immediately flinched backward.

“What am I **_doing_**?!”  Her eyes locked firmly on his.  “What are **_you_** doing?!”

“I don’t know,” he seemed lost now, and it struck Buffy how bizarre it was that he was over two centuries old and she wasn’t even eighteen, yet she felt like she had to be the adult here.

“Shame on you!”  Tears sprang to her eyes.  “We **_can’t_** do this, Angel.  We know how this ends.  I can’t do that again.  What kind of relationship can we have?  The temptation will always be there.”

“Buffy…”  His voice was almost pleading, but she knew he couldn’t make it better.  There was nothing he could say.  He knew it as well as she did.

“Keep the glove safe,” she ordered, then turned and ran without looking back.

~~~~

Buffy really wished someone would’ve warned her that she was walking into a trap the next day at the library.  She guessed that sorta defeated the point of a trap, but wow did it really suck.

She’d called Giles to gather the Scoobies in the library that morning, and she’d been so determined to be in a better mood today that she hadn’t noticed the terse way he had responded to her.  Everyone was already there when Buffy walked into the library, and she forced on her brightest smile.  “Lagos is out of luck. I got the magic mitten thingy.”  Her bright and cheery demeanor was very not shared by the group, who were all sitting at the table, other than Giles.  “What's with all the tragedy masks?”

“Better take a seat, Buffy,” Giles murmured, and he wouldn’t look her in the eyes.  Buffy so did not like where this was going.  Xander stood, but not before maneuvering his chair in front of the table, clearly intending Buffy to be the center of attention for whatever was coming next.  _Uh, no thanks._

She took a couple steps forward but remained standing.  “What's going on?”  Not even Willow would look at her right now, and all the hairs on the back of Buffy’s arm were standing up.

“We know Angel is alive.  Xander saw you with him.”  _Crap._ Of all the people to catch her with Angel, Xander was the absolute worst option.   Knowing her luck, he probably saw them making out, too.  “It would appear that you've been hiding him and that you lied to us.”

The quiet judgment in his voice felt like a knife to her gut.  As if sensing her discomfort, Willow jumped in to try and soften the blow.  “Nobody's here to blame you, Buffy.  But this is serious.  You need help.”

 _Like hell I do._   None of them could understand this.  This is exactly why she didn’t want to tell them.  “It’s not what you think,” Buffy answered Willow.

“Hope not.”  Xander’s voice was cocky and self-righteous.  “Because I think you're harboring a vicious killer.”  She glared angrily at him and his bullshit, beyond irrational hatred for Angel.  To his credit, he at least wilted a little.

“This isn’t about attacking Buffy.  Remember, 'I' statements only.  'I feel angry.'  'I feel worried.'”  For once, Buffy felt a little reassured by the lessons Willow had picked up over the years from her therapist parents.  Her calming presence was going to be vital in Buffy not breaking Xander’s nose before the end of this confrontation.

Of course, his girlfriend wasn’t doing much better.  “Fine.  Here's one: I feel worried... about me!  Last time around, Angel barely laid a hand on Buffy.  He was **_way_** more interested in killing her friends.”

“That **_wasn’t_** Angel; it was Angelus.  He’s better now.”  She pleaded with them to appreciate the difference.  They had a right to be angry, but there was no reason they also had to be stupid.

Except that was the only mode Xander had when it came to Angel.  “Better for how long, Buffy?  I mean, did you even think about that?”  _It’s all I think about when it comes to Angel,_ Buffy thought.  _Do they really think so little of me?_

“What is this, Demons Anonymous?!”  She turned and took a couple of steps towards the door.  “I don't need an intervention, here.”

Giles ended his ominous silence with another metaphorical knife, this time to her back.  “Oh, don't you?”  She turned back to him, and as hard as she tried, she couldn’t keep the pain off her face.  Giles was the one person she had tried so hard not to hurt.  Not to disappoint.  And yet. “You must've known it was wrong seeing Angel or you wouldn't have hidden it from all of us.”

“I was going to tell you, I was.  Ask Faith!  I-it was just that I... I didn't know why he came back.”  She knew she was stammering, and she knew she didn’t have a good reason for keeping this from them.  But they were all treating her like she had put them in some sort of danger, and that obviously wasn’t true.  “I just wanted to wait.”

“For what? For Angel to go psycho again the next time you give him a happy?”

“Screw you, Xander!  I’m not going to…”  She remembered what had happened last night.  What Xander had probably seen.  Her voice was much weaker as she tried to explain, “We're not together like that.”  She tried to change the subject, to get herself back on firmer ground.  “And what gives you the right to spy on me like that?!”

“What gives you the right to suck face with your demon lover again?” Cordelia shot back, voice icy and confident.

Buffy felt tears threatening to form behind her eyes.  Because as annoying as Cordelia was, she had a point.  “It was an accident.”

“What, you just tripped and fell on his lips?”  In that moment, she couldn’t really understand why she was friends with Xander.  It was like he didn’t care at all.  Couldn’t even be bothered to try to understand where she was coming from.  All he cared about was being right.  And making her feel bad about it.

“It was wrong, okay? I know that, and I know that it can't happen again.  I know.  But you guys have to believe me.  I would never put you in any danger.  If I thought for a second that Angel was going to hurt anyone—”

“You would stop him?” Xander sneered.  “Like you did last time with Ms. Calendar?”  Buffy could only stand there, completely stunned that even Xander would sink so low.  Her utter shock was the only thing that protected him from physical violence in that moment.  She was so taken aback that she temporarily lost the will to hold back her tears.

Willow jumped in nervously, again trying to play mediator.  “Buffy, I feel that when it comes to Angel, you can't see straight.  And that's why we're, we're all gonna help you face this.”

There wasn’t anything to face.  She knew she shouldn’t be alone with him, because she needed to avoid the temptation.  But otherwise, he was just Angel.  The good-hearted vampire with a soul.  They didn’t have anything to fear from him, but Buffy couldn’t seem to make them see that.  “He has a soul.  He’s on our side.  Look, you guys, he's the one that found the Glove of Myhnegon.  H-he's keeping it safe for us in the mansion.”

Xander continued his tirade, and if one of the others didn’t rein him in, Buffy was going to shut him up herself.  “Right!  Great plan.  Leave tons of firepower with the scary guy, and leave us to clean up the mess.”  He started to walk off in a huff, but as he passed her she grabbed him by the arm.  She didn’t bother softening her grip, fully intending to make him gasp in pain.  She hoped there would be a bruise.

“You would just love an excuse to hurt him, wouldn't you?”  She pursed her lips.  “You’d stupidly love to try, at least.”

If Xander was cowed by this implication, he didn’t show it.  He was sure that he was right, and that gave him the moral authority to do whatever he wanted and make Buffy feel like shit in the process.  “I don't need an excuse. I think lots of dead people actually constitutes a reason.”

Buffy’s eyes widened.  “Right.  This is all nobility.  This has nothing to do with jealousy.”  It was always the same with Xander and his pathetic Slayer obsession.  She threw his arm back at him, hard enough to cause him to lose his balance and fall over.  This only unnerved the rest of the group further.

“Giles, no one's doing the 'I' statements!”

Finally deciding to take charge of the situation, Giles shouted, “That’s enough!  Everybody.”  He had all their attention.  “Now, Buffy knows our concerns, and her actions, however ill-advised, can be understood.”   _Thank you, Giles._   “Our... priority right now is to retrieve the Glove of Myhnegon and try to destroy it.  Now, all of you leave.  I’ll call you if we need you.”

The others stood up and filed out of the room, and Buffy refused to look at any of them.  Instead, she followed Giles as he went into his office.  “Thanks for the bail in there,” she whispered.  She couldn’t read Giles’ body language right now and that worried her.  As did his continued refusal to look her in the eyes.  “I know this is a lot to absorb, but Angel did find the glove, and that was a good—”

“Be quiet.”  It felt like a slap in the face.  Giles’ voice wasn’t loud, but it was full of anger and hurt.  “I won't remind you that the fate of the world often lies with the Slayer.”  He finally turned around and caught her gaze.  She could see now that he was barely holding it together.  “What would be the point?” he asked in exasperation.  As if she was a child, playing at dangerous things completely beyond her comprehension.  He made her feel so small in that moment, and Buffy couldn’t help feeling like maybe she deserved it.  “Nor shall I remind you that you've jeopardized the lives of all that you hold dear by harboring a known murderer.  But sadly, I must remind you that Angel tortured me... for hours... for pleasure.”  She wished she could plead with him.  It **_wasn’t_** Angel, but she understood why, emotionally, for Giles, that was a distinction without real meaning.  That’s why she didn’t know how to tell him.  That’s why she felt so trapped by the situation.  “You should have told me he was alive. You didn't. You have no respect for me, or the job I perform.”

Buffy couldn’t look at him anymore.  She felt like she couldn’t breathe.  Her chest felt tight, and the room was spinning ever so slightly.  Giles sat down at his desk, and as the silence set in, she realized he had nothing further to say.  She walked away in stunned silence, with no idea how she was ever going to fix this.

~~~~

Faith arrived at the high school just in time to catch Buffy tearing out of there trying to hold back the powerful sobs wracking her body.  The blonde wasn’t paying any attention to anything around her, and Faith caught her with both arms.  “B, hold on hold on.  What happened?”  She tried to wrap her arms around the girl, but Buffy shoved her off.  Her eyes flashed with anger and confusion as she looked up at Faith.  _What the hell happened in there?_

Joyce had told Faith that Buffy left to meet the Scoobies at school maybe thirty minutes ago.  Faith felt a small pang at the thought of being left out of whatever meeting they were having, but it wasn’t like she’d been super reachable since Gwendolyn came to town.  Something felt off about the new Watcher, but Faith couldn’t be sure if that was because of her Slayer sense or her deeply rooted distrust of authority figures.  So, she decided to play the good little Slayer and try to get a better sense of who the uptight Brit was under all those layers of condescension and cockiness. 

Unfortunately, that also meant she’d been kept away from Buffy pretty much the entire time for the last 36 hours.  That first night, Faith got home late after Post put her through the paces, training-wise, and she was sulky and tired and blew Buffy off.  The next day had been spent entirely with Post, who drilled her on demon trivia and battle tactics, and then they spent the afternoon searching cemeteries for the creepy glove thing.  When she got back to the Summers house, Buffy was gone, and Joyce didn’t know where she was.  Faith passed out before Buffy got home that night, and the next morning, Faith slept in much longer than she had meant to.  She didn’t understand why Buffy hadn’t tried to wake her up, or why she was having secret meetings without her.

But clearly, something big had happened that Faith had missed.  She’d never seen Buffy this broken up, not even when they had first talked about everything that went down with Angel.  Her eyes narrowed a little as she wondered if this had something to do with the vampire.  As Buffy tried to push past her without another word, Faith grabbed her by the arm, making sure her grip was firm but gentle.  “B, don’t run away from me.  What’s going on?  I just wanna help you.”

Buffy shoved her away again.  “What if I don’t want your help?!”  The tears were still flowing, but her eyes were wounded and angry.  “Where have you **_been_** Faith?  You completely disappeared on me, when I needed you the most!  New Watcher rolls into town and you go from ‘screw this bitch’ to ‘let’s ignore Buffy’ in less than an hour!”  Faith had never heard Buffy call someone a bitch before.  She took a step back, beyond confused at Buffy’s outburst.  “Why don’t you go find the others and join in on the ‘we hate Angel’ club—you’ll be much more at home there!”  She shoved past Faith again, before taking off at a dead sprint.

Faith was left speechless.  Part of her wanted to run after Buffy.  But her pride wouldn’t allow for that.  Not after what B had just said.  _Fuck her._   Whatever happened with her friends, she could’ve woken Faith up if she’d wanted her there for that meeting.  _Bullshit that she needed me.  When has she ever needed me?  I’m just there for her convenience, the poor orphan girl she brought home with her from LA._  

She left her car at the school, setting out to go walk off some of her anger.  Last thing she needed was to flip out and crash the one thing she had left from Diana.  What the hell was Buffy’s problem?  From the sound of it, she guessed that the Scoobies found out about Angel, and all of them had jumped down Buffy’s throat about it.  Unsurprising.  But that didn’t give Buffy the right to lash out at Faith.

 _I’ve been nothin’ but supportive, even though I’ve got plenty of concerns myself.  But of course, Buffy didn’t give a shit.  Lumped me in with the rest of ‘em.  Who cares that I’ve had her back this entire time?_ Faith imagined that Buffy had run straight back to vamp mansion, looking for solace in the big burly arms of her undead beefcake.  _Screw that guy._   Faith winced.  Not literally though.  She hoped Buffy had at least that much sense.

Even if the idea of saving her dumb blonde ass from her evil-again ex certainly appealed to some of the darker notes in Faith’s soul.  She’d always wanted to be the hero of a story, and what better way than by saving the girl and defeating the monster?

She sighed.  _Shouldn’t be thinkin’ like that._   Faith found herself approaching the hotel where Gwendolyn had taken up residence.  She had no idea why her feet had taken her there.  The Watcher was a cocky asshole, but honestly, that kind of appealed to Faith.  She was a bitch, but she at least seemed like she had begrudging respect for Faith.  She had been up front about the fact that Faith would probably hate her, but she wouldn’t let that stop her from making Faith a better Slayer.  Maybe that sort of kick in the ass was what Faith needed.

Giles always seemed a little intimidated by her, but not Gwendolyn.  Faith could kick that bitch’s ass seven ways to Sunday, but she refused to back down.  Faith respected that more than most things.  Maybe Gwendolyn had a stick up her butt, but she also had steel down her spine.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t home.  Faith told herself she wasn’t lookin’ for a pep talk, but she knew that was bullshit.  Maybe Gwendolyn had also found out about the secret Scooby meeting, and she was back at the library, giving G a piece of her mind.  Faith grinned at the thought. 

Then she thought of Buffy’s face, blotchy and stained with tears and runny mascara.  The self-loathing and betrayal she’d seen in those haunted green eyes.  Her heart hurt at the thought.  _Fuck all of this._   Faith headed back to the Summers house and climbed up onto the roof to sneak in through Buffy’s window.  She didn’t want to deal with Joyce right then, and she didn’t give a fuck if she interrupted Buffy’s ‘woe is me’ session.  But Buffy wasn’t there, which didn’t surprise Faith in the least.  She snuck into the hallway, careful not to make a noise.  She grabbed the bottle of Jack she had hidden in the back of her closet, then made her way back out of the house.  She was so over all of this.

Faith took off for her favorite part of town, Kingsman’s Bluff.  It was out past the airport and the docks, and it was always a peaceful sort of place.  In one direction, it looked out on the crashing waves of the Pacific Ocean, and in the other, there was the small wooded area you had to trek through to get up to the bluff.  But the bluff was tall enough that you could see over the tops of the trees, and the entirety of Sunnydale spilled out into view.  She would go out there when she wanted to feel removed, isolated from the world.  Plus … she just liked the sound of the ocean.

The Pacific was so different from the Atlantic she’d grown up around, but something about being near the water helped put Faith at ease.  Like some part of her could imagine that, if she really wanted it to, the ocean currents could just carry her away from all her problems.  If things ever got too hard, she could just wade in and let the ocean take her.  Maybe that was morbid, but it had always given Faith strength.  Some twisted feeling of hope when the world felt at its darkest.

It was late afternoon when she made it there, but she didn’t regret leaving her car behind.  The long hike helped her feel connected with her body, with the strength, agility, and stamina of her powerful Slayer form.  It was a bonus that it would almost certainly be dark on her way back into town, and even though she planned on being good and drunk by then, she liked her chances of finding a demon of some sort to pound on.  She felt like she could really use a spot of violence that night, but first she needed some time to herself.  And her friend Jack.

Faith thought about how much her life had changed in the last year.  It was the middle of November.  _Where was I in November 1997?_   She wasn’t a Slayer yet.  Hell, she didn’t even know what a Slayer was, since Diana hadn’t found her yet.  In fact, she had just started living on the streets of south Boston then.  After …

She took a deep swig of whiskey, enjoying the way it burned on the way down.  Faith may have been alone, but she wasn’t about to let herself cry about the loss of a woman who had never had her back.  Emma Lehane hadn’t been actively abusive.  Not like Faith’s father.  But she was still a garbage mom.  As Faith thought back, she couldn’t quite believe it had already been over a year since she stumbled upon her mom’s corpse.  The body was cold, slumped against the wall of the studio apartment where Faith had found her only a couple of days earlier.  The needle was nearby, and Faith would never forget the empty, misty look of those hazel eyes. 

That was when the last shred of her humanity tore apart.  Or so she had thought.  It was only a few months later that Diana came into her life and gave her a renewed purpose.  Something to live for.  But this time last year, she had felt completely dead inside.  Basically a zombie, barely surviving and using other people to do so. 

Faith laughed out loud, choking down the liquor in her mouth.  It was a self-deprecating laugh, full of derision and loathing.  A year ago, every day was a question of survival.  She did horrible, degrading things just to stay alive.  Life was a fight.  It was almost simpler that way, but that Faith would think she was a spoiled fucking princess.  Comfy bed, no lack of food, and her biggest concern now was that some bratty blonde liked a vampire better than her.  How fucking pathetic was that?

The sun was starting to drop below the edge of the ocean now, casting the sky into gorgeous refractions of pink, orange, and purple.  Faith wondered if she really had a larger purpose in all this.  Fighting the forces of evil and whatnot.  She was chosen, **_special_**.  But she sure didn’t feel special.  She had one friend in the world, and she was too caught up in her own baggage to give a shit about Faith.

 _Why did she lash out at me like that?_ How bad did that meeting with the Scoobies have to be to break Buffy like that?  What had happened with Angel?  Faith’s no longer sober mind spun at the possibilities.  _Fuck it._   If Buffy wouldn’t talk to her about it, maybe it was about time she met the vampire.  She stood, taking one last lingering look at the crashing waves before turning back towards the town.

As pissed as she was at Buffy, the girl didn’t deserve to be broken and hurting like that.  And Faith didn’t know if that was Angel’s fault or someone else’s.  But she was damn sure about to find out.  She chucked the now empty bottle as hard as she could against a nearby tree and took off at a sprint back into Sunnydale.

~~~~

The scene she walked in on at vamp mansion did nothing but rocket Faith’s concerns about Angel to eleven.  She barged through the front door and nearly ran straight into Angel, completely vamped out and tossing Gwendolyn helplessly against the wall.  He towered over her, moving in menacingly with the characteristic growl of every vampire ever. 

Faith's reaction was as visceral as it was immediate.  An image of Diana's mangled corpse flashed before her eyes.   _N_ _ever again._ Angel noticed Faith just a second too late, and she picked up the long shard of wood—part of a flag pole, or maybe a shovel?—that Gwendolyn had dropped.

“I can’t believe how much I’m gonna kill you.”  She burned off some of the alcohol on her run over, but she knew she still wasn’t thinking super clearly.  But what was happening in front of her was obvious.  And in case there was any doubt, Angel made it very clear where he stood.

His fiendish yellow eyes almost seemed to sparkle under his angry brow as he growled, “You’re **_not_** getting that glove.” 

 _Oh yeah, big boy?  Well, I’m the Slayer.  And not one you can wrap around your finger like a plaything._   She grinned, realizing that her fantasies of saving Buffy from the evil ex might be coming true.  “You wanna bet?” 

She moved just a hair too slowly, and he kicked the lengthy makeshift stake out of her hand.  The force of the kick pushed her back a step, but she pushed forward, shoving him in the chest.  His throat rumbled with that inhuman vampire growl that she had grown so accustomed to over the last few months, driving his fist up and through her face.  She took it like a champ and dodged his next move, bending low to catch him as his momentum carried him forward and spinning her foot in a reverse snap kick straight to his head.  He stumbled backwards, dazed by the force of her attack.  Faith pressed her advantage, grabbing by the shoulders and throwing him across the room, away from Gwendolyn.

She didn’t know how long it had been since Buffy had been by here, but it was clear to her what had happened while she was drowning her sorrows up at the bluff.  Buffy was emotionally compromised, and Angel took advantage.  And now his soul was nowhere to be seen.  _Fuck this guy._  She was going to make damn sure he never hurt Buffy again.  He was still laying, stunned by her attack, and she pulled the stake she kept tucked into the back of her jeans.  She raised it up to end him forever, but she couldn’t pull it down.

Someone strong had grabbed her by the wrist, and as she turned, Faith could see that Buffy was pissed at her.  “What?!” she asked in confusion, then Buffy put her other hand on Faith’s waist, grabbing tight as she picked her up and threw her back away from Angelus forcefully. 

Faith pushed herself to her feet and faced Buffy, trying to stay in control of the rage threatening to overtake her in waves.  _How can she not see that I’m trying to protect her?_

“I can’t let you do this, Faith.”  Buffy was already ready for her, in a tense battle stance.  Still, her body language screamed conflict.  She didn’t want to fight Faith.

“You’re confused, Twinkie.”  _Dammit Faith, name calling isn’t helping anything._   “Let me clear this up for you.”  She pointed at Angel with her stake.  “Vampire.”  She pointed back at herself.  “Slayer.”  She tried to keep a straight face, refusing to let her rage bubble to the surface.  “I know you’re emotionally compromised right now, but this whole thing is pretty simple now.  You can’t stop me.”

“Faith!  You don’t understand.”

“You weren’t exactly lookin’ to explain anything to me this afternoon, B.  Instead you rushed off to the arms of tall dark and violent over here, and now look where we are.”  Gwendolyn called out Faith’s name groggily from the entryway, drawing the attention of both Slayers.

“She doesn’t know.  She’s blinded by love.”  _Don’t I know it._   She could see the weakness, the hesitation in Buffy’s face as she pleaded with Faith that she didn’t understand what was going on.  B was desperate to figure something out, without violence.  But they were past that now—how could she not see it?  Faith had to act.  She knew what she had to do, even if she hated to do it to Buffy.  She only hoped she could forgive her. 

Faith spun a kick into Buffy’s face, and as the other girl doubled over, she followed it with a kick to the gut, knocking her back.  She knew she couldn’t hesitate.  Buffy was an incredible fighter, and she was confused right now.  Faith had to take her out quickly, save her from herself.  There’d be a chance to reconcile later.  She hoped.  Unfortunately, Buffy blocked her next attack, shoving her backwards and leaving her open to a roundhouse kick that she only barely managed to block.  The two Slayers went at it, past words now, and holy hell, Buffy packed a punch for such a tiny little chick.  Buffy knocked Faith to the ground, only to have the brunette recover and trade blows before taking an advantage of her own.

Buffy’s technique was better, but she was all defense, only in the fight halfheartedly.  Faith had the strength of her convictions, and even if she was still a little hazy from the booze, she refused to fail Buffy.  She’d protect her friend, even from herself.  Faith knocked Buffy to the ground, then wrapped an arm around her throat, trying frantically to lock her into a chokehold.  End the fight peacefully.  But Buffy fucking bit her arm, so hard it drew blood, and the shock of it gave the blonde an opening to deliver a blow to Faith’s head and knock her aside.

They continued to trade blows, everything else forgotten.  Their fight threw them through the glass doors into the garden.  For all her fervor, her genuine intention to help Buffy, the darker side of Faith couldn’t help but think about how sensual the fight felt.  She’d always been captivated and turned on by Buffy’s quiet strength, and that electric feeling was even more overwhelming now that Buffy’s full attention was on her.  As they rolled apart, Faith shook those confusing thoughts away, trying one last time to reason with the other Slayer.

“B, please, I don’t wanna do this.”  Buffy hesitated.  “Please, you have to let go of him.”

“I can’t,” Buffy gasped.  “You don’t—”  But Faith was done with the reasoning.  The fight had already gone on too long.  She had to end this.  She interrupted Buffy by throwing a metal chair at her, trying to catch her off guard long enough to deliver a forceful enough kick to the head to knock her out.  But just then, Xander appeared out of nowhere, and Faith didn’t have time to redirect her kick.  He walked right into the full force of her kick, and he was unconscious instantly.  For a split second, she worried that she might have accidentally killed him. 

She dropped to her knees to check on Xander, but Buffy caught her off guard with a kick to the face that sent her flying against the near wall.  _Dammit B._   Faith felt dazed, blinking rapidly as she tried to get her bearings back.  Then everything was interrupted by the sound of thunder—which was bizarre, since it had been a clear night only a minute ago.  Faith felt the heat of the energy as a bolt of lightning struck down inside the mansion.  With a look towards Buffy, she knew that their previous disagreement was forgotten. 

They rushed inside together, only to find Gwendolyn with a freaky looking metal gauntlet fused to her right arm.  “What’s goin’ on?”

Gwendolyn smiled mischievously at her, and Faith’s stomach sank.  “Faith!  A word of advice: you’re an idiot.”  Then she called down another lightning strike, the energy surging through the Glove of Myhnegon and then bolting towards the two Slayers.  Buffy grabbed her and tackled her back out into the garden, landing on top of her as the lightning bold surged past them.  Faith could smell the burnt charring scent of the raw power from the glove. 

Still, she managed a small smile for the tiny Slayer on top of her.  “Thanks, B.”  Buffy looked completely overwhelmed by the situation, but they pulled each other up off the ground, now united against the evil bitch who had clearly been manipulating all of them.  They ran back into the room only to see Angel—and yeah, she guessed it was clearly Angel here—grabbed Willow and saved her from another blast of energy shot out by Gwendolyn. 

“Can you draw her fire,” Buffy asked.

“You bet I can,” Faith assured her.

“Go do it,” she said, squeezing Faith’s arm.  Faith didn’t have to be told twice, rushing towards Gwen to grab her attention.  The second the rogue Watcher turned towards her, Faith took off at a sprint, leaping behind a couch just in time to avoid another lightning bolt.  She was immediately back on her knees, but afraid to stand up out of cover.  Then she heard the most hideous shrieking she’d ever heard, and she stood up just in time to see Gwendolyn, the glove now severed from her body, engulfed with so much electrical energy that she literally burned away to dust.

As everyone stood, the middle of the room still smoldered from where the lightning had struck her.  Then the metal claws of the glove clanged open, releasing what was left of Gwendolyn’s arm.  Faith met Buffy’s gaze, and she immediately felt an intense shame over the conclusions she’d jumped to.  _I gotta get outta here._   Before Buffy could say another word, Faith took off.

~~~~

The walk back to the Summers house was agonizing.  Faith wasted no time in tearing herself apart for getting drunk and acting rashly.  This was exactly why she knew better than to develop feelings for someone.  It always ended badly.  It was just that in this case, she was the one who fucked up.

 _Angel egged me on_.  She was still fucking pissed at the asshole.  Maybe he had his soul, but how the fuck was she supposed to know that?  He’d seemed so violent and monstrous.  He knew who she was, knew she was a Slayer, but he’d immediately treated her like the enemy.  And as much as she hadn’t seemed to want to, Buffy defended him.

Faith didn’t know what to do with that information.  She thought that she was finding something here in Sunnydale with Buffy.  But she was pretty sure she was wrong about that.  She’d always been second in Buffy’s heart, and that was assuming the girl could even open her eyes to that side of herself.  Faith’s mind went back to the place it was at that afternoon.  She could see now that she’d let herself get soft.  She’d broken her cardinal rule, and she’d let someone in, and now she had gotten hurt.  Again.  Just like every other time.

 _Screw Angel._   Buffy wouldn’t see it, but Faith didn’t give a damn that he had a soul.  She’d known plenty of evil men with souls.  Angel wasn’t innocent.  If there was one thing she was sure enough, it was that he was as jealous of Faith as she was of him.  She’d seen it in his eyes.  In the way he hadn’t hesitated to assume the worst about her.

Faith made it to the Summers house.  She snuck in through Buffy’s window again.  Buffy would be taking care of the glove, with Angel and her friends.  She had to make use of the small window of time she had before Buffy came looking for her.  And a conversation with Joyce would only slow her down and muddy the waters.

She snuck into her room and started packing in a hurry.  She’d have to carry everything back to the high school, where her car was waiting, but fortunately, she didn’t have that many more things than when she’d arrived in Sunnydale.  She didn’t waste any time as she started throwing things into her two large duffel bags.  Faith was in such a hurry that she didn’t hear the creak of the floorboards behind her.

“Faith?”  Buffy’s voice was almost hoarse and full of emotion.  “Where are you going?”

 _Shit._   She hadn’t wanted to have this confrontation.  She’d gone out of her way to try to get out of town before Buffy had time to come find her.  Clearly, Blondie had other ideas.  Faith didn’t know what to say, so she ignored her and continued packing.  Until the other Slayer grabbed her hard around the bicep.

“Faith!”  She met Buffy’s eyes, which were full of panic and fear.  “You don’t get to ignore me and run away like this!”  She let go of her, and Faith refused to look at those terrified green eyes.  She refused to lose her resolve here.  “I know I screwed up.  I’m sorry I lashed out at you earlier, and I get why you thought I …”  Buffy blushed, then swallowed hard.  _Can’t even say it, huh B?_   “But you can’t just skip out on me without a conversation.  You owe me at least that.”

Faith stopped what she was doing and hopped back onto her bed.  Soon to be formerly her bed.  The Summers guest bed.  “Fine.  Talk.”

Buffy seemed completely unsure of what to say next.  She shrunk in on herself, stepping back and leaning against the far wall as if she couldn’t support her own weight.  “How are you?”

 _Really?!_   Faith sighed.  “I’m five by five, B.”

“Dammit Faith.  Don’t give me that.  Don’t shut me out!”  Faith didn’t know how to respond to that.  She hated that she’d already opened up enough that Buffy could see through her.  “Look, Gwendolyn Post had us all fooled, even Giles.”

Faith raised her eyebrows.  This was something she understood on a deep down level.  “Yeah, well, you can’t trust people.  I’ve fucking learned that by now.”  Buffy flinched a little at the epithet. 

“I realize this is gonna sound funny coming from someone that just spent a lot of time kicking your face … but you **_can_** trust me.”  _I fuckin’ know that, B.  That’s what scares me._

“That right?” she asked, cautiously.

“I know I kept secrets, and I should’ve done more to force you and Angel to meet each other.  I don’t understand what you to have against each other, but …”  She saw Faith’s eyebrows, raised skeptically, and she sighed.  “I’m not here to defend him.  I just want you to know that I’m on your side.”

Faith couldn’t accept that.  Buffy had made it very clear tonight whose side she was on.  “ ** _I’m_** on my side, and that’s enough.”  Faith started to push herself off the bed, but Buffy darted forward and pushed her back down.  She sat down in front of her, legs dangling off the bed.  Her eyes were hard and serious.

“ ** _No_** , it isn’t.”  Faith wasn’t sure what to say.  “Look, I don’t know what you’ve been through.  Mostly because you refuse to tell me.  But I’m not pushing you.  Just … trust me.  I know.  It isn’t enough that you’re on your side.  Not for us Slayers.  Maybe not for anyone.”  Faith’s eyes darted back and forth, and she refused to meet the intense gaze Buffy was fixing on her.  “I’m really sorry about today.  I wasn’t at my best.”  She made a dramatic sniffing noise.  “And judging by the smell of you, neither were you.”  Faith fought against the grin that wanted to form along her lips.

 Buffy put a hand on her knee, and Faith fought that much harder not to completely melt.  _Fuck me, what the hell?_   “Faith.  I mean it.  I’m really sorry we kept missing each other the past couple of days, and I’m even more sorry for the way I acted this morning.  You didn’t deserve that.  You’ve always been in my corner, and I get that I was running away from my problems.”  Faith exhaled heavily and finally met Buffy’s gaze.  Those soft green orbs drilled straight into her heart, and Faith knew she wasn’t going anywhere tonight.  But she wasn’t letting Buffy off the hook either.

“I don’t regret what I did.”  _Yes, I do._   “Your boy egged me on, and it really felt like he was all monstrous and no soul having.” 

Buffy swallowed guiltily.  “I …  yeah, that doesn’t surprise me.”  Faith was surprised by the admission.  “He doesn’t like you any more than you like him.  You both drive me crazy.” 

“Yeah okay… but I gotta job to do here, B.  A calling.  And it’s more important than your teenage drama.  I’m sorry your friends were shitty to you, but you shoulda told them a long time ago.  Maybe Gwen wouldn’t have been able to manipulate all of us.”  Faith growled.  “Gotta say, I’m pretty fuckin’ tired of people jerkin’ me around, and with your bullshit today, I really didn’t know who to trust.  Wasn’t a good feelin’.”

Buffy looked down at her hands.  “I know.  I’m sorry.  You deserve better.”  She looked up at Faith.  “And look… I don’t know what to do about Angel.  Part of me will always love him, but I **_know._**   Nothing can ever happen with him and me.  I got too close already.  It’s a dangerous risk, and I refuse to take it.”

Faith raised her eyebrows in question.  “I … Angel can be an ally to us, in our fight against evil.  Maybe … somehow … we can find a way to be friends.  But it will **_never_** be anything more, I promise.”

“For your sake, B, I hope not.”  Faith decided to get real honest.  “Because tonight, I wasn’t tryin’ to pick a fight.  I was tryin’ to protect you from yourself—”

“I know.”

“And if it happens for real, nothing’s gonna stop me.  I’ll put your boy toy down, even if it means you hate me.  Cuz one of us has gotta be objective here.”

Buffy sighed.  “I know.”  She reached out a hand, resting it softly on the duvet, palm up.  “I’ll do my best to make sure that day never comes.  I just … hope you can trust me again.”  Faith reached out a hand and placed it on Buffy’s.  Part of her hated herself for being so weak, but she couldn’t resist.

“Me too, B.”


	8. Love's Bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovers Walk

As the sun started to set over Sunnydale, Faith felt a bit of a chill blow through the cheery little downtown, and she was glad she had thought to wear her dark denim jacket when she got all antsy and decided to go for a walk.  She’d been living there long enough now that she had the general layout of the town memorized.  After all, Sunnydale was only a tenth the size of Boston, maybe smaller. 

Often when she got the itch to be out and about, it was accompanied by a corresponding urge for violence or sex.  But not today.  This was one of the rare occasions when she was just feeling … _what was that word?  Wanderlust?_   She just wanted to be out in the midst of the random happenings, and something that no one knew about her was that she actually enjoyed people watching quite a lot.

Which is how she came to be walking down Sunnydale’s main downtown street, Maple Court, right as Willow slipped out of the local magic store with a nondescript brown paper bag in hand and a suspicious look on her face.  She noticed Red first, and immediately ducked around a corner before the witch could see her.  Faith was back in detective mode again for the first time since coming to Sunnydale.  She started tracking Willow, careful to stay out of her sight—a feat that was surprisingly difficult, since the witch was clearly paranoid about someone seeing her right then.  Willow’s behavior only made Faith that much more curious about what she was up to.

She wasn’t oblivious to Red’s general unease around her of late.  Faith didn’t know what she had done to earn the witch’s disdain or distrust, though she had a guess, but if she was up to something shady, Faith figured it couldn’t hurt to get a little dirt on her.  Bonus points if Faith got to see her perform some sort of wicked cool magic.  Willow was the first witch she’d ever met, and she couldn’t pretend she wasn’t curious about supernatural powers of a different sort than coursed through her own veins.

 Faith nearly lost sight of Willow twice, but she could already tell they were headed back towards the high school.  It wasn’t long before she was following her down to the chemistry lab.  The lab was one of the larger classrooms, with several large windows and two separate entrances.  Willow didn’t bother closing the door behind her, which Faith thought was pretty careless considering how on edge she’d seemed on the way over.  But it made spying on her that much easier.  Faith crept around the corner, pressing herself against the wall as she approached the open door.

 Willow hadn’t turned on the overhead lights in the room, ostensibly trying to be sneaky still.  Instead she had a small lamp on at the lab station where she was carefully laying out her supplies.  Faith wondered about the similarities between chemistry and witchcraft, and she guessed maybe Red was making some kind of potion.  She had just started to get to work on it when Faith’s Slayer hearing picked up the sounds of someone walking down the hall from the other direction.  She quickly ducked back around the corner, and the third person continued walking until they stopped and turned into the lab.  He immediately cracked a joke, revealing his identity before Faith could even get back into position to sneak a peek into the room.

” Whoa! It smells like church in here. (sniffs) No, wait... **_evil_** church.”  Faith still didn’t understand what anyone saw in Xander, and for once, she thought Red might’ve agreed with her, at least based on the way her body language stiffened as the boy announced his presence.

“It’s just chemistry stuff,” Willow explained.  “An experiment.”  _Chemistry stuff, my ass._   Faith decided to stick around, just in case something went bad with the magic and Buffy’s friends needed a save.  She definitely wasn’t eavesdropping solely for the fun of it.

“So you said when you called.  Why do I have to be here?”  Willow answered that she was going to help him on some exam, but he seemed less than convinced.  She seemed noticeably tense about being alone with him, and that seemed unusual to Faith.  The two were supposedly best buds, for longer than B had known either of them.  _Wonder if this has something to do with whatever they were bickering about at the homecoming dance?_

They kept talking as Willow worked, and it sounded like they were meeting up with Cordy and Oz a little later for some sort of double date.  _Thanks for the invite guys._   Faith needed to stop thinking of herself and Buffy as anything remotely similar to a couple.  _Easier said than done._   She noticed something odd: Xander seemed overly handsy.  Especially for someone with as hot a girlfriend as Cordelia, not that Faith had any expectations that a dipshit high school boy like Xander would have anything resembling loyalty or honor.  The thing that bugged her was that Willow was clearly not interested but didn’t try to put a stop to it either.  _What am I missing here?_

Then Xander offered an insight that made things much clearer for Faith.  “Wait a minute.  This is love spell stuff!  You're doing a love spell?”  There was an awkward silence, then he went on.  “Why would you need a love spell?  Will… if it’s a you and me thing, I know you weren’t big on the kissing before homecoming, but you don’t need to use a spell here.  I’m yours already.”  He put a hand on her wrist.  “Seriously, come on, we can go find a nice cozy spot and get with makin’ out right now.”

Red pulled away from him.  “Xander, no!”  She almost looked scared.  “It’s just … you’re my best friend, and I don’t want…  I can’t …”  She sighed.  “It’s a de-lusting spell.  For you.  I thought it would go better if you didn’t know.”

“What the hell, Willow?!” Xander exploded.  “Are you nuts, or have you forgotten that I tend to have bad luck with these sorts of spells?”

“This isn’t about your poor choices when it comes to magic.  I just … I need my best friend back.”

“The hell is that supposed to mean?”  Willow visibly flinched away from his shout.

“You’ve been weird around me ever since you tried to kiss me, and it’s making me uncomfortable.  I just want things to go back to the way they were.”  Xander paced away from her.

“I don’t get it, Will,” he growled.  “You pine over me for like two years, and I’m too dumb to see it.  I’m Mr. ‘Too Focused on Girls He Can’t Have’ and yeah, that’s on me.  But I finally try something with you, and suddenly no more crush?  I feel like you’re sending me mixed messages here.”

“You have a girlfriend.  And I have a boyfriend.  This—” she gestured between them, “—can’t happen.  I don’t want it to happen.”

“So what?  Do you really need to resort to the black arts to keep my hormones in check?”  He came to a stop right in front of her, his presence almost menacing.  Faith took a step into the room, but neither of them noticed her.

“Xander, you’re scaring me right now.  So at this point, I’m thinking ‘yes.’”  He blew out a loud breath, then he slammed his fist into the table where Willow had been working.  Faith had officially had enough.

“Fuck this.  Back off, Xander.”  They turned to face her, and Xander’s focus immediately shifted in a way that creeped her out even further.

“Oh hey, Faith.  What’s up?”

“Yeah, no.  Don’t ‘what’s up’ me.  Can you really not tell that Red wants you to back off?  Or do you just not care?”

Xander frowned, his brow furrowing at being called out.  Then he put on his happy guy face.  “Hey now, come on, we were just talking.  But hey, no biggie, how about you and me go grab a drink?  You can tell me more about the gator wrestling.”  His eyes traced down the length of her body, and he didn’t bother to hide the lust he was feeling.  She fought off a shudder.

Faith rolled her eyes, then paced forward before he could make a move.  She grabbed Xander by the arm and the back of his shirt, twisting his arm enough to hurt a little, and she pushed him forward and out of the room.  She shoved him to the floor in the hall, his back slamming into the lockers.  “Talk to me like that again, and I’ll break your arm.   Red and Cordy—hell even B—might coddle your shitty behavior, but I sure as shit ain’t.  You can’t keep it in your pants, that’s your problem.  But you come onto me again, or you make Willow feel uncomfortable again, and I promise you’ll be in a world of pain.”  He made as if to utter a comeback, and she scowled at him.  “Don’t think I won’t also tell Cordelia exactly why I kicked your ass either.  Now get the fuck out of here.” 

Xander glared, but he wasn’t stupid enough to stand up to her.  He got to his feet and sulked away, and she watched him go until he disappeared around a corner.  She glanced back in the lab before turning to leave.  “Sorry ‘bout that Red.  What a shithead.  I get it now, with the magic brew there.  Do what ya gotta do, ya know?”

Willow nodded at her, unsure of how to respond.  Faith shrugged and walked off.  But she still heard the whispered, “Thanks Faith,” on her way out.  She was suddenly feeling like a spot of violence was back on the table for the evening.  She could feel the energy pulsing through her blood.  She didn’t even notice the figure lurking in the shadows as she walked out of the school.

~~~~

Unfortunately, Faith didn’t happen upon any vampires after she left the school.  She was beginning to think it was gonna be a really shitty night, but that was right when she caught sight of a familiar blonde ponytail.  Her lips curled up into a smile on impulse.  She could tell just by looking that Buffy was finishing up a workout with a quick patrol.  The other Slayer was in her go-to dark hoodie over tight black athletic pants, with a wide white stripe down each side, and simple white tennis shoes.  But holy shit it was the **_very_** low-cut blue-grey tank top that really caught Faith’s attention.

She quickened her pace to catch up with Buffy at the point where their paths intersected.  “Hey there, pretty lady,” she smirked.  Buffy smiled brightly as she noticed Faith’s presence.

“Hi!”  She glanced around.  “Out patrollin’?”

“Yeah kinda.”  Faith didn’t really wanna get into the whole Willow and Xander thing.  “Things as dead for you as they have been for me?”

Buffy grimaced.  “Yup,” she answered, popping the ‘p’.   “Wanna head home?”  Faith shrugged, continuing to walk with Buffy in the general direction of the Summers house. 

“How was school today?”  Buffy tensed a little, and Faith could see the wheels turning as she thought about how she wanted to respond.

“Everyone got their SAT scores back today.”  Buffy’s voice sounded wistful, but Faith couldn’t be sure that meant she got bad scores, necessarily.  She vaguely remembered Buffy mentioning the test the night everything went down with the band candy—she hadn’t really gotten to do that last-minute studying she had planned on.  “Faith, I … actually did pretty great?”  Buffy’s eyes darted over to her nervously, waiting for a reaction.

Faith just grinned.  “Hey B, that’s … congrats.  We gonna celebrate or what?”

Buffy smiled, buzzing in a way that told Faith she cared what the other Slayer thought of her.  “Nah… it’s really not that big a deal.  Just don’t tell Mom I said that.”

“Hah!  I bet Joyce’s head exploded.”  That earned her a soft chuckle.

“She’s blowing it **_way_** out of proportion, though.  Talkin’ about me going off to schools all over the country.  As if…”  Faith’s heart leapt into her throat.  She hadn’t really thought about the possibility that Buffy might go to college.  That was obviously off the table for Faith, and she just kind of assumed, what with the slaying, that Buffy wasn’t gonna go the whole normal girl route.  The idea that Buffy might leave in less than a year hit her like a starving werewolf on a full moon.

Faith flexed her fingers, trying to work out the sudden tension in her body.  “And uh … is that … something you might want?”  Buffy’s eyes snapped to hers, glittering with something frightfully close to perception.  Faith looked away, terrified that she might accidentally reveal what she was actually feeling in that moment.

They were walking close enough to each other that Buffy’s hand briefly grazed against hers as it swayed with the natural movement of her body, and Faith had to will herself not to jump at the spark she felt when it happened.  Everything inside of her screamed at her to play it cool, but she could feel Buffy’s eyes on her still.  “Actually, no.  I don’t think so.”  Faith couldn’t stop herself from breathing a very small sigh of relief.  “If there’s one thing I’ve started to figure out the past few months, it’s that I don’t really fit in that world anymore.”

Faith dared to look back at Buffy again, and now the other Slayer’s face was twisted into serious thought.  “Whaddya mean?”

“I mean … school.  Growing up.  Having a career.”  Her voice was tentative, as if she was speaking her own thoughts aloud at the same time they were occurring in her head.  “I fought so hard for so long to maintain some semblance of normalcy, but I don’t … I don’t know, Faith, it’s like I just don’t **_need_** it anymore.”  She caught Faith’s gaze.  “I can picture a version of myself who would’ve insisted on challenging Cordelia for homecoming queen last month.  And that’s the version of myself I was trying to pretend still worked for me when I dated Scott.  When I try for normal, it always blows up in my face.  And I’m done trying.”

“Okay, I’ll bite.”  Faith eyed her thoughtfully.  “Way I see it, you got a nice normal house, with a nice normal mom, and at least two nice normal friends.  Well… okay sure, one of them is a witch, but hey, it’s the nineties.  Who cares?  You’re gonna graduate high school, you kicked that test’s ass, the world is your oyster.  Yeah, you got wicked powers and fight evil at night, but that all sounds pretty normal to me.”

Buffy pouted a little, as if Faith was interrupting her moment of profound self-discovery.  _Sorry, princess, but I’ve lived not normal my entire life._ “Fine, l’ll prove it.  So first, in my first month of slaying, my parents locked me in a loony bin because I was honest about my reason for burning down my high school gym—” she turned towards Faith, gesturing dramatically with her hands, “—vampires.  The next year, I died to fulfill some ancient prophecy, then came back.  Again, because **_vampires_**.  I’ve only ever been in love with a vampire, who immediately turned evil and started murdering people.”  She kicked a rock, sending it rapidly skipping down the street.  “I just gotta face that me and normal are never gonna get along.”

“So what does that mean for the future?”  Faith tried to tamp down the elation she was feeling at the assurance that Buffy wasn’t looking to quit town anytime soon, even if she thought the blonde was laying it on a little thick with the ‘I’ll never be normal’ spiel.  Probably wasn’t a good idea to start imagining the possibilities that came from the both of them sticking around indefinitely.

Buffy shot her a wry smile.  “Hey, with the life we live, I could be dead tomorrow.”

“Not with me watchin’ your back,” Faith spat back at her.  She wouldn’t let anything happen to Buffy.

“Good point.  But there’s always another Big Bad lurking out there somewhere, chompin’ at the bit to take on the legendary Slayers.”  She shrugged.  “I’m not saying … I guess I’m just not really too concerned with the future.  All about the here and the now.”

“Hey, I get it.  That’s how I’ve always lived my life.”  Buffy frowned, and Faith hoped she didn’t dig into that admission.  She wasn’t looking to delve into her tragic backstory anytime soon.  Fortunately, the other Slayer left it alone.

“Not sure how to tell Mom.  I’m not necessarily ruling college out—oh my god, she literally told me I needed to experience keg parties and boys.”  Buffy and Faith shared a laugh, and Faith wondered if a good keg party might get the blonde to consider girls instead of boys.

“Hey, we already knew Joyce had a wild side,” Faith teased, thinking of her and Giles getting it on while they were hopped up on cursed chocolate.  Buffy shoved her playfully.

“You promised you would never make me think about that again!”  Faith couldn’t help the devious grin that formed along her lips as she hip-checked Buffy in retaliation for the shove.

“Never said I was a woman of my word, though.”

Buffy shook her head in faux exasperation.  “Whatever.  I’m just not really sure I see the point.  You don’t retire from being the Slayer, but it isn’t like I can make a career out of it either.  No obvious answer here in the ‘planning Buffy’s future’ sweepstakes.”"Sounds like quite the dilemma, B.  And all the more reason you gotta keep me around.”  She slid her arm around Buffy’s shoulder.  “College or no, you wanna have a keg party, I’ll make it happen.”

“Yeah, I **_bet_** you will,” Buffy said, her tone lightheartedly mocking.  “But uh … I’ll keep that in mind,” she added, a mischievous glint in her emerald eyes.  They turned onto the sidewalk and headed for the front door to the house. 

~~~~

Faith’s arm was still around her as they walked into the house, and Buffy chose not to overthink how little it bothered her.  For whatever reason, the closeness between the two Slayers just felt right.  She started to smile up at Faith, but then she stopped dead in her tracks, throwing out her arm to stop Faith as well.  The other Slayer turned to her to ask what was going on, and Buffy put a finger to her lips, silently begging her to stay quiet.

The voice in the kitchen was one she had hoped to never hear again.  And he was talking to her mom.  She motioned for Faith to follow her, and they quickly, but quietly, made their way through the dining room.  Sure enough, it was him.  The ancient black leather trench coat.  The dingy black nail polish.  The disgusting slicked back, platinum blonde hair.  Buffy was so going to enjoy staking Spike.

They had walked in as Angel was standing frozen just outside the threshold, pleading with Joyce to invite him in.  Buffy briefly thought about whether she should’ve said something to her mom about Angel’s return sooner, but now wasn’t the time to beat herself up about keeping that secret.  Not with Spike standing menacingly behind Joyce, his face far too close to her neck for Buffy’s liking.

“You touch her, and I’ll cut your head off!” Angel threatened, his voice full of anger and concern.

Spike scoffed.  “Yeah?  You and what army?”  Buffy grinned as she grabbed him by arm. 

“That would be me,” she quipped before throwing him down on the kitchen island.  She had a hand on his throat, and she could feel Faith against her right side as she had already moved in to press a stake to his chest.  She shot Faith a look that said ‘not yet.’  “Angel, why don’t you come on in?” 

As he walked in and stood to Buffy’s left, Joyce started to freak.  Buffy couldn’t worry about that right then.  “You shouldn’t have come back, Spike.”

He stuck out his lower lip defiantly, and now Buffy could smell him.  Spike reeked of liquor, and she was surprised to learn that apparently, yes, vampires could actually get drunk.  “I do what I please,” he retorted, trying for menacing but only managing petulant.

“Those are as good a last words as any.  Faith?”  The other Slayer pulled the stake up to dust Spike as Joyce muttered something about being confused, and Spike reacted immediately.

“Willow!” he shouted, and Buffy’s right hand shot up to stop Faith’s arm from plunging the stake into Spike’s chest.

“You took Willow?”  He leered at her, and she hated that he felt like he had the upper hand."You do me now, you’ll never find the little witch.”

“Willow’s a witch?” Joyce gasped in surprise.

“And Xander too,” Spike added.

“What, Xander’s a witch?”  Buffy turned to answer her mom, but then Angel grabbed Spike by the lapels of his coat and lifted him into the air.  Buffy immediately noticed how suspiciously Faith was watching the vampires.

“Where are they?” Angel roared.

Spike shoved him off, feet coming to rest back on the ground.  “Doesn’t work like that, peaches.”  He swayed a little but kept his balance.  “And when did you become all soul-having again?  I thought you outgrew that.”  He turned back to Buffy, and she would so like to have beaten the smarmy look off his face right then.  “Your friend’s gonna work a little magic for me.  She does my spell, I let ‘em both go.”

Buffy bristled.  You’re not famous for keeping your promises, Spike.”

He took a step away from her, eying each of them.  “Well, you and your great poof here wanna tag along, that’s fine.  Bring the hot new girl too for all I care.  But you get In my way, and **_you_** kill your friends.”  He turned to walk out the door, and before Angel could move to block his exit, Buffy put a hand on his wrist.

“We’ll go with him.  Go ahead.”  Angel nodded, but he shot a nervous glance in Faith’s direction before stalking after Spike.  Buffy exhaled loudly in frustration.  “Mom, I know this is confusing, but I can’t explain right now.  We’ll talk after we save Willow and Xander, okay?”

Joyce made a face, but she didn’t fight her on it.  Buffy grabbed Faith’s hand and led her out after the vampires.  “Don’t worry, Joyce,” Faith called back as they left.  “I’ll keep an eye on Buffy.  And no, Xander’s not a witch.”  Buffy felt a hint of a smile playing at the corners of her lips.  She loved that Faith could manage to keep any situation light, and she appreciated how the other Slayer was always quick to look after Joyce.        Buffy and Faith followed along a couple of paces behind Spike and Angel.  She trusted Angel to keep an eye on the other vampire, and she guessed that Faith probably had some questions.  “A’ight B, spill the beans.  Who’s the Billy Idol wannabe?”

Spike turned on a dime.  “Watch your mouth there, new girl.  He stole this look from **_me_**.”  Faith looked tremendously unimpressed, and Spike kept walking.

“Ignore him.  He’s an idiot.  Name of Spike, formerly William the Bloody.”  A look of recognition danced across Faith’s warm brown eyes. 

“Right right,” Faith whispered conspiratorially.  “It was him and the crazy chick that were workin’ with Angel when he went bad, right?”

“Yeah, that’s him and Drusilla.  I so hoped I’d never have to see him again.”  She tried to offer Faith a sly grin.  “But hey, bright side, we’ve finally got an excuse for you and Angel to hang out—” Faith rolled her eyes, and Buffy frowned, “—and after we save Will and Xander, I can finally stake Spike.  Which I am **_so_** ready to do.”

Faith’s eyes hung on the vampires ahead of them, and Buffy wasn’t sure she wanted to know what the other Slayer was thinking about right then.  “Why’s it so important to you that I get along with tall, dark, and broody?”  Buffy paused, sensing that it was important she answer the question in a particular way.    “I … because you’re my friend.  And **_he’s_** my friend.  And we’re all on the same side in the big ole fight against evil.”  Straightforward and honest.  Mostly honest.  It still felt weird calling Angel her friend, but they’d agreed there would be no more accidental kissing.  No more topless tai chi.  Just … friendship.  It was the only thing they could ever have with each other.

 “Friend, huh?”  Faith’s voice was dark and full of doubt.  Buffy searched her face, trying to get a read on her reaction.  But she couldn’t.  Faith kept her expression neutral and impassive.  She always hid behind this aloof persona when she didn’t want to let Buffy in on something.  She had hoped that after everything blew up with Mrs. Post, Faith might leave whatever reservations she had about Angel behind.  He’d proven himself to be on their side.  But the other Slayer seemed as icy as ever when it came to Buffy’s ex.  She wished she knew how to break through that particular wall.

They continued on for a tense but mostly silent few minutes, punctuated only by Spike’s cursing when he would drunkenly trip over things.  That and him bitching about Drusilla cheating on with some gross slimy demon thing.  The more he whined and moaned, the more pathetic he seemed.  Buffy **_hated_** Drusilla, and she wanted nothing more than to get vengeance for Kendra’s murder, but also … _good for Dru dumping this garbage asshole_.  But Spike’s grumbling wasn’t helping loosen the mood, at all.  Things were so uncomfortable that Buffy found herself suddenly wishing that she and Faith were just alone, screwing around in a cemetery looking for vampires.  She kept glancing over at Faith’s stony visage and hoping the other Slayer would get over it, crack a grin, and slide her arm back around Buffy like she always did.

Instead, Faith didn’t say another word until they were nearing the Magic Box.  Spike was offhandedly explaining to Angel that he just needed a few supplies, for the beyond stupid love spell he seemed to genuinely believe that Willow was going to cast for him.  Then he just randomly stopped at the edge of the street to shout “Oh, god,” as he clutched at his head.

Buffy came up to stop behind him, tremendously unimpressed.  “What’s wrong?” she deadpanned.  “Not that I care.”

 “Oh… my head!  I think I’m sobering up.”  _Seriously?_   “It’s horrible!”  He bent over as he added, “Oh god, I wish I was dead.” 

And just like that, Faith snapped into action with a muttered, “Oh fuck this guy.”  She pinned him up against the wall, holding him a good half a foot up the wall with a hand at his throat.  He started screaming in broken, outraged British slang as Faith turned her head back towards Buffy.  “B, seriously, why are we indulging the pathetic drunk vamp instead of staking him?  Don’t tell me this guy has a soul too.”  Faith was clearly trying to act as though she was still calm and just screwing around like always, but there was an edge to her voice that Buffy hadn’t really heard before.

“Hey I got the li’l Scoobs, you can’t touch me!” Spike protested, which did nothing but earn him a quick punch right in the eye.  Faith clearly found Spike even less entertaining than Buffy did. 

“How many places could he really have stashed them, B?  This town ain’t that big—you tellin’ me we can’t find them before they starve to death or whatever?  This guy is a lazy, drunk asshole.  We really think he’s got some elaborate villain plan to kill your friends if we stake him here and now?”

Buffy’s eyes widened a little, mostly because Faith was right.  She raised an eyebrow at Angel, who seemed completely unsure about who to root for between Faith and Spike.  “She’s got a point.  He’s probably just got them locked up in the factory.”

Spike made a face.  “Well, hey!  How thick do you think I am?”  Faith wound up for another punch, but held back at the last moment, just to get Spike to flinch. 

“B, come on.  He’s **_just_** a vamp.  Tell me I can stake him, then we’ll go look for Red and the shithead you all pretend is a decent guy we should be friends with.” 

Angel legitimately grinned at that.  “You know, Buffy, I think maybe Faith has a point here.”  _Hey good, they agree on one single thing—how terrible Xander is._   Buffy shot Angel an exasperated look, then turned back to the other Slayer.

“Faith, I promise, you can stake him once he takes us to Willow.  But look at him.  He’s pathetic.  There’s no reason we can’t play his stupid little game a bit longer, and be sure we find our friends, right?”

“Bollocks to that,” Spike mumbled.

Faith rolled her eyes but dropped Spike to the ground.  “Buffy, I swear to god, if I don’t get to stake him tonight, I’m gonna be wicked pissed at you.”  She glanced down at Spike.  “And any more drunken bitchin’ about your crazy ass lost love, and my stakin’ hand might get twitchy.”  And then she stalked off towards the Magic Box, leaving the rest of them behind. 

Buffy nodded to Angel to follow, then waited for Spike to get back up to his feet.  He leapt up almost comically, trying to act like he wasn’t fazed at all by Faith’s completely nonchalant handling of the possibility of ending him forever.  Instead, he played it off by casually throwing an arm around Buffy and quipping, “So, that’s the new Slayer, huh?”

Buffy’s response was to twist Spike’s arm away from him until he cried out in pain.  “Keep pushing it, Spike.  Maybe I won’t hold her back next time.”

Spike shrugged.  “Whatever.  I like her.  She’s feisty.  Less with the whiny drama.”  Buffy didn’t know how to respond to that.  Since she kind of agreed. 

Instead she walked onward.  “Fine.  Can we just get this over with?”  They approached the Magic Box, and Faith had already kicked the door in.  Buffy walked over to her as she lingered, curiously checking out the various ingredients and other voodoo in the shop.  She touched her elbow gently.  “Hey.  You okay?”

“Five by five,” Faith murmured, as if on instinct.  Buffy pulled her around to face her, glancing at Spike and Angel arguing across the room.  She put a hand on Faith’s cheek, and the girl’s features softened.

“Hey, it’s me.  Don’t shut me out, Faith.”  The brunette pulled away, but just a step.  The walls were down now.  “I know this is awkward.”  Buffy’s eyes darted around uncertainly.  “Not really sure **_why_** it’s awkward, but I’m sorry I brought you along for this absurd reunion.”

Faith put her hand on Buffy’s shoulder.  “I trust you, but I want to be very fucking clear about this: I don’t trust them.  Either of them.  They’re vampires.”  Buffy resisted the urge to roll her eyes.  She was so over whatever rivalry there was between Angel and Faith.  But she didn’t have time to argue about this right then.  Not in front of others.

“Fine.  We can talk about that more later.  Just … remember that one of them has a soul and the other doesn’t.  Whatever your feelings about Angel, at least trust me that he’s less likely to ruthlessly murder and eat you on a whim.”

Faith shrugged.  “Alls I know is I’ve got your back, and you’ve got mine.  Not too worried about the rest of it.  Now let’s do whatever we gotta do here, B.  I’m done debatin’ this.”  Buffy frowned but turned to go see what the vampires were doing.  Then she felt Faith’s hand on her wrist.  She turned back, eyebrow raised.  “I mean it, B.  I trust you.”

Buffy nodded, a small smile across her lips.  “Spike, you find your ingredients yet?  We’re running outta patience here.”

“No, I need rat’s eyes.”  He was barely paying attention to her, running to and fro looking for the right ingredients.

“Fine.  You can get them yourself.  I’m just tagging along—I’m not your helper monkey.”

Spike continued ignoring her, muttering, “I used to bring her rats.  With the morning paper.”

“Because moping is definitely gonna get her back,” Faith snarked, lifting herself up onto the sales counter.  Spike glared at her.

“The **_spell’s_** gonna get her back,” he growled.

Angel jumped in on antagonizing Spike, and Buffy guessed that was at least a small step forward in the Faith-Angel bonding.  “Lot of trouble for somebody who doesn’t even care about you.”

“Shut.  Your.  Gob!” Spike retorted, suddenly outraged.  Angel always did know how to get under his skin.

“She really is just kinda fickle,” Angel needled.

“ ** _Shut up_**!” Spike shouted, before charging at Angel, who turned in time to catch his arm.  Buffy pulled Spike off of him and tossed him back towards the front door.  “What do you know?!” he raged.  “It’s **_your_** fault, the both of you!  She belongs with me.”  He sobbed, and Faith’s face screwed up behind him, as if she couldn’t believe how pitiful this guy was.  “I’m nothing without her.”

“Damn, B.  You never told me how pathetic this guy was.  These two—” she pointed haphazardly at Spike and Angel, “— ** _really_** gave you that much trouble last year?”  Angel looked more than a little affronted at that, but she could also see the flash of guilt in his eyes.

“Trust me, this is nothing like the Spike who was a pain in my ass last year.”  She turned back to Spike, not bothering to hide the disgust she was feeling.  “You’re not even a loser anymore, you’re a shell of a loser.”

Spike slunk away, looking for more ingredients.  “Yeah?  You’re one to talk.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow.  _Fine, I’ll bite._   “Meaning?” 

Spike turned back to face her and Angel, and a chill went down Buffy’s spine.  Something in Spike’s eyes resonated.  She suddenly felt oddly scared of what he was going to say.  “The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death.  Now … you’re back making **_googly eyes_** at each other like nothing happened.  Makes me want to heave.”  _Crap, I so don’t need this right now._   Except the person she looked to wasn’t Angel; it was Faith.  Her face was impassive.  Buffy couldn’t say why, but she **_really_** didn’t want Faith hearing Spike’s drunken ramblings about her and Angel.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” was the best response she could muster.

He snorted.  “Oh yeah,” he jeered, “you’re **_just friends_**.”

“That’s right,” Angel said, and Buffy didn’t have to know him as well as she did to know that he wasn’t at all confident in that comeback.

“You’re **_not_** friends!” Spike shouted.  “You’ll never **_be_** friends.  You’ll be in love till it kills you both.  You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends.”  He pointed a finger dramatically at his own temple, glaring daggers at both of them.  “Love isn't brains, **_children_** , it's blood!”  He pounded his own chest.  “Blood, screaming inside you to work its will.”  Buffy was afraid to look at Faith right then, and everything in her screamed that Spike couldn’t possibly be right about this.  He was a soulless demon—what could he really know about love?  “ ** _I_** may be love’s bitch, but at least **_I’m_** man enough to admit it.”

Faith leapt back down off the counter.  “I dunno man, sounds like you’re talkin’ ‘bout your own shit, here.”

“Don’t get me started on you, new girl,” Spike retorted, but he wasn’t as bold as he had been with Angel and Buffy.  She guessed Faith had made an impression.  But she wasn’t sure what Spike was getting at.  “Don’t think I didn’t notice the way you are with the Slayer.”  Faith’s features instantly hardened, and she tensed.  Buffy was at her side in an instant, holding her back from killing Spike then and there.

“Don’t let him get to you, Faith, please.  I just wanna get Willow and Xander back.”  Faith growled and spit at Spike, then pulled her arm angrily away from Buffy. 

“Yanno what, B?  I’m done with this bullshit.  You don’t need me here.  You have your creepy little adventure with your vampire pals—I’m gonna go patrol for some I can actually stake.  Since I’m, ya know, the Slayer and all.”  She stalked out the door without looking back, and Buffy couldn’t think of anything to say to get her to stay.

Instead, she walked right over to Spike and punched him right in his stupid face.  “ ** _Ow!_** ”

“Please tell me you have your stuff.  Where are my friends?”  Buffy refused to meet Angel’s gaze, focusing on Spike.  She didn’t care for how messy things had gotten in the last few minutes.

“What’s your hurry?”  Spike asked, mockingly, and she glared at him as she pulled out a stake menacingly.

“Fine!”  He waved his hands in surrender.  “Fine.  I’ll be out of your life in a few short hours.”

“Hey B!” Faith’s voice came low and menacing from the street outside.  “You might wanna get your tiny blonde ass out here.  Bring your annoying friends.”  Buffy ran out after her without a look back at the other two.  And straight into a whole gang of vampires.  Ten or fifteen of them.  Buffy took up a defensive position at Faith’s side as one of them stepped out from the crowd.  But his eyes were focused behind the two Slayers.

“Hello, Spike.”

“Lenny,” Spike greeted him warily.  “How have you been?”

“Better since you left.  You should have stayed gone.”  Buffy couldn’t agree with that sentiment more.

“Is that right?”  He tossed his bag of supplies aside, preparing for a fight.  Buffy figured the four of them could handle this many vampires, but it wouldn’t be easy.  And she wasn’t eager to trust Spike on her side in a fight.  Better to avoid it if possible.

“You know, he was just leaving.” She glared at Spike.  “Don't you start anything.”

“This pissant used to work for me.”  He clearly wasn’t backing down.

Buffy glanced at Faith, then Angel.  “The guys are in trouble.  We can't risk this.

Angel’s eyes darted from Spike to the vamps.  “Look, I don't think we have a choice.”

“You other three can walk away from this.” Lenny assured them.

Spike started to mouth off again, but Faith bristled beside her.  “Screw all of this.”  She staked Lenny before anyone else could move, and then the carnage broke out.  The other vamps charged, but Faith was already moving through them with a speed and viciousness that Buffy didn’t realize she was capable of.  “Catch up, B,” she called out playfully.  “I’ll already staked three of ‘em.”  Then one of them kicked her right in the gut, and she doubled over.

“Faith!” Buffy shouted, dodging a blow and staking a vampire on her way towards the other Slayer.  But she recovered easily, sparing a quick wink towards Buffy.  A quick glance told her that Angel and Spike weren’t faring quite as well, since neither of them had stakes.  Angel was just trying to survive, whereas Spike was attacking with wild abandon—no strategy whatsoever.  “Angel!”  She caught his eye, tossing him her stake just before he and Spike got pushed back into the Magic Box by five other vampires.  “Faith!  You got a spare stake?”

“What’s the matter, B?  You getting’ sloppy?”

“ ** _Faith_** ,” Buffy growled as a vampire threw her to the ground.  Then he dissolved to dust around her, and the brunette pulled her to her feet. 

“Just admit it, I’m the better Slayer.” She was grinning, and Buffy could feel the same Slayer energy pulsing through the both of them. 

“Oh, this is **_so_** not over,” Buffy glowered, pulling the spare stake out of the inside pocket of Faith’s jacket before she could make fun of her anymore.  Then she tossed it into the chest of a charging vampire, leaping forward to pluck it from the air as he turned to dust.  Faith was at her back as the three remaining vampires circled them.  “We already dusted—how many, Faith?”

“By my count, seven.”  There was a thrill, a passion in her voice. 

“I’ve got places to be and people to save.  You boys really wanna test your luck right now, or you wanna be on your merry way?”  Buffy’s voice was all threat now.  She was as done with playing around as Faith was.  The vamps glanced back and forth between each other, then with a glower and a growl they ran away.  She caught Faith’s hand in her own.  “Come on!”

As they approached the storefront, three steaming vampires ran past them shrieking in pain.  Buffy’s nose crinkled at the unpleasant acrid smell caused by the reaction of holy water on vampire flesh.  Still, she smiled, proud of Angel’s ingenuity in a tough situation.  Then she saw him, and her heart leapt into her throat.

Angel was on the ground, and in pain.  She ran to him in an instant. She checked Angel for wounds, but she didn’t see any.  He must not be back at full strength yet—the fight had weakened him significantly.  But he’d be fine.  “Where’s Spike?”

Angel couldn’t quite stand on his own, but he was already recovering his strength.  “Took off.  Said ‘sod the spell,’ but he didn’t wanna stick around to see if you’d let Faith stake him.”

“Goddammit!” came the frustrated growl from behind her.

She glanced back at Faith, who looked legitimately pissed off now.  “What about—”

“He said they’re at the factory,” Angel explained.  Buffy sighed angrily.  She really should’ve just let Faith stake Spike. 

“Are you going to be alright?”  She couldn’t keep the worry out of her voice as she helped him to his feet.

“Screw this.  I’m out,” snarled Faith, but Buffy called after her.

“Faith wait!  Please.  I’ll be right there, but just give me a few minutes.”  Faith eyed her, dark eyes frustrated and uncertain.  “Please?”

Faith blew out a heavy breath and rolled her eyes, pacing away.  Buffy hoped she would wait up.  This conversation wouldn’t take long.  She helped Angel lean on the sales counter.

“I really don’t know what her problem is—”

“Angel, just stop.”  Their eyes met, and he looked worried again. 

“Buffy…”

“I’m not gonna be coming by the mansion anymore.”  His eyes searched hers, confused and hurt.  “We're not friends.  We never were.  I can fool Giles, and I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself.”  She shook her head bitterly.  “Or Spike, for some reason.  What I want from you I can **_never_** have.  You don't need me to take care of you anymore.  So, I'm gonna go.”  Buffy found the determination in her voice surprisingly easy, even though she felt as though her insides were boiling.  She hated this, but she couldn’t pretend that Spike wasn’t right about them, even if his perspective was all twisted and evil. 

And Faith was right too.  Right to be suspicious of Buffy’s continued insistence on seeing Angel.  On trying to be friends.  The temptation would always be there.  She couldn’t lie to herself about it anymore.

Angel’s piercing eyes never left her.  He swallowed, hard.  “I don't accept that.” 

“You have to,” she insisted.  She wasn’t asking.

“Look—”  He stepped towards her, and she immediately moved away from him.  She could feel how much her body still wanted him to wrap her up in his arms, and to have him tell her they’d find a way.  That everything would be okay.  But she knew better, and she couldn’t risk falling down that rabbit hole again.  “There’s gotta be some way we can still see each other.” 

His voice was barely more than a whisper now, and her voice was just as soft.  But where his was pleading, hers was firm.  “There is.”  She bit her lip, already knowing what the answer would be.  “Tell me you don’t love me.”

Angel could only stare at her.  He knew it as well as she did.  He would always love her.  She knew it because she felt the same way.  So she left it at that, and she turned and walked out of his life.

Faith was waiting at the corner of the store, and Buffy was sure she had been able to hear all of that.  She couldn’t look at the other girl as she pushed off of the wall and met Buffy’s pace.  They had to get to the factory, and she really didn’t want to talk about what she had just done.  And after a very up and down night, she had no idea what to expect from Faith’s mood at this point.

That’s why it was nothing but a relief when she felt the taller girl put her arm around Buffy’s shoulders, as she often did.  Her voice was still tense, but the anger and frustration were gone.  “You gonna be okay?”

Buffy thought about it for a moment, fighting the warm sting of tears just under her eyelids.  She felt like maybe she had finally closed a door on a chapter of her life that she desperately needed to leave behind, even though it still hurt like hell to do so.  Her chest felt so tight, and her arms felt numb.  No, she was not alright.  Not right then. But…

“I will be.”


	9. Kinda Gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doppelgangland
> 
> (Yes, I moved this episode up. And yes, I skipped the Wish. The Wish still happened, but none of my POV characters had any involvement in it, so I'm not using it as the basis for a chapter here. But it never made sense to me that Anya would wait months to try to get her power back, plus The Wish and Doppelgangland are such perfect mirror episodes. They should be back-to-back. So, for my story, now they are.)

“Wait so **_who_** asked you to do a spell?”  Willow seemed majorly freaked, which meant faster than normal Willow-speak, which meant that Buffy didn’t catch this girl’s name.

“ ** _Anya._** ”  _What a weird name._   Buffy made a face, just as a chilly gust of wind hit them.  She shivered a little, but she was grateful that it was finally getting cool enough that she could break out her extensive coat collection.

”Who is Anya?”  Buffy had never heard of this person, but it was important that she follow along with Willow’s story here.  The redhead had seemed down in the dumps all day, and Buffy was determined to cheer her up.

“Yeah, she’s that new girl.  Pretty, but kinda strange.”  Buffy had a vague awareness of the existence of such a person, but only because it seemed beyond strange that someone would transfer into their high school right before Christmas break their senior year.  “She’s friends with Cordy and Harmony and that crowd, I think.” 

Buffy grimaced.  “Ugh.  I can’t believe Cordelia went running straight back to that pack of vapid who—”

“Buffy!” Willow scolded, cutting off the judgmental thought.  “That’s rude … if not entirely inaccurate.  But—” she made a wistful face, “—you can’t really blame her.”

Willow had a point.  Maybe Xander hadn’t cheated on Cordelia, but that wasn’t for lack of trying.  Although it had made all of the group dynamics weird the last few weeks, she was glad everything was out in the open now.  A tiny, admittedly petty part of her wished she had gotten to the factory in time to see Cordelia smack Xander down and break up with him on the spot when Willow told her about how he had been acting lately.

She sighed.  “I don’t blame her.  I just don’t get why she’s so bitter towards the rest of us.  I sure as hell didn’t do anything to her.  Tried to ask her how she was last week when I ran into her outside the Bronze, and she just blew up at me.  Wasn’t my fault a vampire chose that moment to attack and toss her into the garbage.” 

Willow put an arm on her shoulder reassuringly.  “Maybe she’ll come around eventually.  I just wish things could stop being so awkward with Xander.”  The three of them—four or five, sometimes, depending on Oz or Faith being around—still hung out, but Xander hadn’t really been himself.  Buffy hoped it was because he was starting to realize how awful he had acted around basically everyone, but it was hard to say for sure.  Every interaction was strained and awkward. 

“Oh, but hey!  You were telling me about a spell.  You seemed a little freaked.”

“Right!”  Willow’s nervous energy was back again.  “So, I was getting all annoyed by everyone treating me like I was nothing more than Homework Gal, and at first I thought that’s what Anya was after too, but then she mentioned doing a tiny little spell.  And that sounded like fun!  So, I jumped on it.”  Willow’s eyes got shifty in the way they did when she was trying to hide her own feelings of guilt.  She murmured, “I may have skipped class to perform the spell with her.”

“Willow!  Such a delinquent!  I’m gonna have to tell Snyder on you,” Buffy mocked, earning a small grin from her friend.

“A-anyway, Anya said she had this necklace, some ancient family heirloom, but it was stolen.  The spell was supposed to create a simple temporal fold and bring forth the necklace from the time and place it was stolen.”

“Sounds straightforward, I guess.”  Buffy was cautiously optimistic about Willow’s growing interest in magic.  Giles had talked a lot about how dangerous the dark arts could be, but it had also given Willow a lot of confidence.  Buffy thought it was good for her, so long as she was careful.  But she got the sense that this Anya person had not been careful.

“Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure Anya was lying to me.  Or maybe just didn’t know what she was doing.  Either way, when we started the ritual, I had these flashes.  Like … visions, of this creepy hell place or something.  I saw the Master, and everyone was fighting in this like factory, and you were there but you were all dark and scary Slayer, nothing like yourself.  I didn’t see much, but yeah, I was big on the freaking out after that.  I broke off the ritual, and fortunately it didn’t do anything.” 

“Sounds mega creepy.  Do I need to have a stern Slayer talk with this Anya?”

“Probably not.  I gave her the talk about how magics are dangerous and not to be toyed with.  She was upset, but she wouldn’t have sought out my help if she was capable of anything worrisome on her own.”  Willow seemed fairly resolute about that, so Buffy didn’t push any further.  They kept walking, not far from Willow’s house at this point.

“So um, how are things going with Angel?”  Willow’s question was tentative, and for good reason.  They hadn’t really talked much about him since the big Scooby intervention.  It must’ve taken this long just for Willow to finally muster up the courage to even ask.

“There’s nothing going on with Angel,” Buffy assured her.  “I … we convinced ourselves that we could be just friends, but that was, uh, wishful thinking.  It took a frustrating night out with Spike—when we were trying to save you and Xander—for me to really see that.  Faith helped me figure it out too, in her own way.  But … I just, uh, can’t be around him, you know?  We’ll never be friends.  I’ll never stop loving him, and that’s too big a risk.”

“So that’s it?  That’s the big end to your big tragic romance?”  Buffy couldn’t tell if Willow was pleased or disappointed.

“That’s it,” Buffy confirmed, wryly.  “I haven’t seen him since then.  I know everyone was worried after I kept him a secret, but … I’m not stupid, Will.  I know we can never be together.”

“Well … good.”  Willow winced.  “I mean, not good that you’re probably sad.  And not good that it took me so long to talk to you about it.  You shouldn’t have to deal on your own.  I just mean … yeah, you’re right.  You can’t be together.  And it’s good that you’ve grown enough to see that, right?”  Buffy smiled at her friend’s bumbling desire not to hurt her feelings.

“Thanks, Will.  And … I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”  They walked up to Willow’s front door, then paused.  “Are we—” Buffy’s eyes darted back and forth, “—okay?”

Willow made a face, then smiled brightly as she pulled Buffy into a tight hug.  “Of **_course_** we are okay.”  She pulled back, and the warm smile was still there.  “I think we were all too hard on you after LA and then Angel.  You’ve been through a lot, and I get that I can’t understand it.  But I just want to be here for you.  Like you’re always here for me.  So yeah, you and me, we’re great.”

“Good,” Buffy agreed.  “I’m glad.”  She pulled away from Willow.  “You’ve gotta work on that crappy Percy paper thing tonight?”

“Snyder’s orders, apparently.  The sooner I do the basketball team’s homework, the sooner I can get back to … well, sleeping probably.”  Willow frowned, and Buffy felt her daily urge to punch Snyder.

“Sorry Will.  But give me a call if you need a break to chat or anything.”  They said their goodbyes, and Buffy kept walking.  She had to meet up with Xander at the Bronze later, and it better be for him to apologize and explain why he’d been so extra skeevy lately.  Buffy couldn’t pretend she wasn’t dreading it.

But she still felt all warm and gooey inside.  For as much as things had been up and down between them since last May, Willow really was Buffy’s best friend.  She was lucky to have the witch in her life.

~~~~

Buffy couldn’t believe that she had failed Willow so completely.  Buffy and Xander had unexpectedly run into Willow at the Bronze, but she wasn’t herself.  She was wearing a leather outfit that looked more BDSM than rocker chick, and her general demeanor was very un-Willow.  Then, the entire world had shattered to pieces.  That brief glimpse of Willow’s anger, as her warm green and gold eyes faded to yellow and her face snapped into the distinctive scowl of a vampire, would haunt Buffy forever. 

“This isn’t real.”  Xander’s voice was numb and empty.  Buffy felt similarly on the inside, as if everything had been scooped out of her, leaving only a shell.  She was sitting sideways at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the stacks of the library, her back against the railing.  Above her, Giles and Xander sat, equally stunned.  Buffy couldn’t even look at them, couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything but stare forward blankly.

“I can’t feel anything.  Arms.  Legs.  Anything.”

Giles’ voice was more emotional than usual, and he sounded on the edge of tears.  “She was truly the finest of all of us.

“Way better than me,” Xander stated the obvious. 

It barely even registered with Buffy, but Giles quickly retorted, “Much, **_much_** better.”

“It’s all my fault,” Xander whispered, and if there was anything left whole inside Buffy, it tore apart in that moment.

“No!  It’s me.” Her voice was high and tight but broke just as quickly as it rose.  “I-it’s me,” she murmured weakly.  “I’m the one that called her reliable.  She must have gone out and gotten attacked, which she never would have done if I hadn’t called her reliable.”  Buffy felt every bit as broken and lost as she had when Angel’s was taken.  This was somehow worse, though.  Willow was … innocent.  Not helpless, but this wasn’t her fight.  She’d been drawn into this world because she was Buffy’s friend.  Buffy couldn’t have a normal life.  Because getting close to Buffy was dangerous.  Any and all progress she had believed she was making since LA had revealed itself to be so much bullshit.  She should’ve stayed away.

Again, the imagine of Willow’s vampire face sprung to mind.  “And now my best friend—”

The voice that interrupted her was impossible.  She didn’t dare hope for— _Willow?!_  Buffy’s eyes widened as they saw the redheaded girl in the pink fluffy sweater, walking in without a care in the world as she asked cheerfully, “What’s going on?”  Buffy couldn’t keep her eyes off a much less vampire-looking Willow, who suddenly looked puzzled as she saw them all moping on the stairs.  “Jeez, who died?”

Willow waited for less than a second before something about the situation registered as morbidly serious, and she repeated herself, this time in a much higher pitched and terrified voice, “Oh, God!  Who died?!”  The mood in the room shifted slightly, and Xander, of all people, sprung into action.

“Back!  Get back, demon!”  He waved a decently sized wooden cross in his hands, bringing it to bear right in Willow’s face.  She just looked at him like he was an idiot, and in that moment, Buffy was sure this Willow was no vampire.  This was her Willow.  _But how is that possible?_

”Willow?  You’re alive?”  Buffy asked quietly, holding onto hope that it might be true.  That she wasn’t just imagining this.

“Aren’t I usually?” she responded quizzically.  And that’s when reality set in—Buffy rushed forward to hug Willow tightly as relief bloomed in her chest.  The shattered pieces of the world gathered themselves up again, reforming in a bright, if confusing, moment of restoration.  Buffy felt as Xander wrapped his arms around Willow a second later, both of them holding their very alive best friend as the shock faded away.  They might never have released her if she hadn’t complained, “Okay, oxygen becoming an issue!”  As they slowly pulled away, enormous, goofy smiles plastered across their faces, Willow turned to Giles, who had stood but otherwise remained where he had been.  “Giles, what’s going on with these—”

Her words were cut off as he, too, rushed forward and embraced her.  Willow groaned in pain at the strength of his hug, and he immediately back off a couple of steps.  “Oh uh… sorry.”

The continued confusion on Willow’s face was enchanting.  “It’s really nice that you guys missed me.”  Her wide eyes darted back and forth between the three of them.  “Say … you all didn’t happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?”  Her voice was so bright and playful, and if Buffy wasn’t still in shock she might have busted out laughing at Willow’s delivery of the question.

“Will, we saw you, at the Bronze.  A vampire.”  Xander sounded almost breathless.

Willow brow crinkled, and her bottom lip pouted just a bit.  “I’m not a **_vampire_**.”

“You are,” Buffy assured her, wincing as her mouth shot off before her brain could catch up.  “I-I mean, you… you **_were_**.”  She looked over at her Watcher, very confused about what was going on.  “Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation any time soon?”

Giles had no such explanation, and he seemed every bit as flustered as Buffy felt.  _How could there be two Willows?  Did Willow have a long lost twin, who just happens to be a vampire?_ Buffy shook off the thought.  They lived in a crazy world of horror and monsters, but at the very least, she was sure that they didn’t live in a soap opera.  But she had no other explanations leaping to mind.

“So … there was a vampire at the Bronze who looked enough like me that she freaked you guys out?”

“No,” Xander and Buffy answered in unison, glancing at each other as they did so.  Buffy continued, “Willow it **_was_** you.”

“Yeah, but with the bumpies and yellow eyes and fangs, maybe you just—” Xander and Buffy both shook their heads emphatically, and Willow’s voice dropped off in disappointment.  “This is creepy.  I don’t like the thought that there’s a vampire that looks like me.” 

Xander reminded her gently, “Not looks like.  Is.”  Willow huffed, crossing her arms.

Buffy tried to explain further.  “It was **_exactly_** you, Will, every detail.  Except for your not being a dominatrix.”  It suddenly occurred to Buffy that she knew Willow really well, but maybe not **_that_** well.  She eyed the other girl uneasily.  “As far as we know…”

Willow rolled her eyes, then grinned sardonically.  “Oh **_right_**.  Me and Oz play ‘Mistress of Pain’ every night.”  Immediately, Buffy had the very unwanted imagine of Willow in that leather outfit, holding a leash over Oz, who was in werewolf form for some reason.

She cringed at the thought as Xander retorted, “Did anyone else just go to a scary visual place?”

“Oh, yeah.”  Buffy said, forcing her mind away from that particular train of thought.  _We have to figure out what is going on here._   Then she glanced up at Willow with a soft smile.  _But at least she’s okay._

~~~~

Faith was close to polishing off her bottle of beer.  Patrolling had been boring, almost as if the vamps were intentionally avoiding her.  So, she’d decided to come check out the scene at the Bronze.  She thought she’d seen Oz when she walked in, but if so, the dude had dyed his hair black.  _Interesting choice,_ she thought.  _Wonder if he just does this shit for fun or if it has some deeper meaning?_  

A few spots over, a cute brunette sidled up to the bar, looking depressed.  Her hair was about shoulder length, with a slight curl at the ends, and she wore a tight, v-neck olive green sweater with a thin choker around her slim neck.  Her voice was husky in a way that Faith found intriguing, but she also very obviously screamed underage girl trying to seem older.  Especially when she sighed to the bartender about it being a long day, before asking for a beer.  She was so lacking in subtlety that Faith had to stifle a laugh.

Dude asked her for an ID, and suddenly, she exploded at him.  “I’m eleven hundred and twenty years old!” she shouted, slamming her fists down emphatically.  “Just give me a friggin’ beer!”

_Okay, well this girl is either a wacko, or very not human._   Still, she seemed pretty harmless, rather pathetically backing down and asking for a coke.  Plus, Faith noticed Dingoes Ate My Baby carrying equipment up onto the stage.  She figured she’d rather go bug Oz than deal with a crazy chick.  But before she did, Faith swung by the girl and whispered in her ear, “You know, it’d be a lot easier to just get a fake ID.”  The girl shot her a frustrated look as she kept walking by, and Faith winked before turning away.

She approached Oz—who very much **_did_** have black hair now—as the lead singer was talking to him about needing roadies.  The guys were plenty popular around Sunnydale, but that wasn’t exactly roadie-having status.  Faith suspected the guy was just lazy, especially after he suggested that the ability to play more than three chords was something only ‘fruity jazz bands’ bothered with.  “Hey Oz,” she greeted, refraining from the usual ‘Wolfy’ nickname, since she wasn’t sure how open he was about his furry status.

“Hey yourself.  Slow night around the cemeteries?”  His face remained as impassive as ever, and the other guy walked away to bother one of the other band members.

She leapt onto the stage next to him without any trouble.  “Ya got that right, like a … well, whatever the opposite of the night of the living dead would be.  Point is, it’s boring out there.  Figured I’d see what was up here, kinda figured B would be around.”

“Haven’t seen her, but we just got here,” was the only response she got.  Faith decided to push a little, see if she could get a reaction.

She ran a hand playfully through his hair, careful to avoid seeming flirtatious in any kind of way.  “Diggin’ the new look, Wolfy.  But lemme ask you this: you ever consider blue hair?”

Oz’s lips almost twisted into the slightest of crooked smiles.  “Hey yeah, that might be pretty great.  I’ll take it under advisement for sure.”  He was about to say something else, except that the door to the Bronze slammed open just then.  Several vampires walked in, fanning out into the crowd without a word.  One of them tossed an unsuspecting boy through a small wooden table, which fell to pieces under his weight. 

Faith’s face lit up.  _Finally some fucking action._   The big one, who had thrown the kid, paused in the middle of the club and shouted for everyone to shut up.  Killing him was going to be fun.  “Alright, nobody cause any trouble or try to leave, and nobody gets hurt.”

“Not sure I believe him, do you?” Faith quipped at Oz.

The guitarist turned his head ever so slightly, muttering with only the tiniest hint of sarcasm, “Well, he definitely lacks credibility.”  Faith grinned.  Oz was fucking hilarious, in his way.  Then he asked something that caused her humor to fall away.  “Can you get outta here?”

“Why would I do that?” she snapped, barely managing to keep her voice low.

“I think we need some backup.”  She raised an eyebrow skeptically.  “I know you’re the Slayer and all, but it’s ten to one.  Could get pointless.”  Faith begged to differ, and as fun as it would be to go get Buffy in on this action, there was no way she was leaving.  She didn’t trust any assurance given by vampires; all these people would be dead by the time they made it back.

At that moment, the door opened again, and another vampire strolled in, followed closely by … _holy shit is that **Red**?_   “Hey Wolfy, why’s your girlfriend suddenly jumped up ten levels in hot?”  Faith couldn’t even pretend it wasn’t true.  The redhead was wearing heavier makeup than usual, including dark lipstick.  Gone were the frumpy pastels, replaced by a tight, corseted black leather bodysuit, with faint hints of maroon cloth around her cleavage and at the bottoms of her sleeves.  She knew the girl was a geek, but this was some next level cosplay.  The most impressive part, however, was the way she carried herself.  She walked into the room like she owned it and everyone in it.  Including the vampires.  Faith’s eyes cut to Oz, who looked visibly shaken.  “And oh yeah, why does it look like she’s in charge of these vamps?”

Leather Willow slunk into the room, her head twisted ever so slightly to the side as she eyed people as if they were toys.  _Or treats_.  Faith got a sick feeling in her stomach.  She focused her Slayer senses on the witch, and she wasn’t feeling the tell-tale signs of humanity in the girl, the steady heartbeat or the subtle in and out of breath.  _Fuck._  

The redhead stopped in the middle of the club, and everyone gave her a wide berth.  “Look,” she said softly, voice oozing in a way Willow’s never did.  “Everyone’s all afraid.”  Her eyebrows raised a little, pleasure showing on her features.  “It’s just like old times,” she added, wistfully.

Oz’s eyes were wide, and his voice was firm.  “Get Buffy.  Do it **_now_**.”  Faith didn’t need to be told twice.  She couldn’t deny that Vampire Willow was sexy as hell, but it was in a way that gave her a severe case of the willies.  She snuck off behind stage, eyeing her surroundings until she found a skylight.  _That’ll do._   She climbed a rope up into the rafters, careful not to make a sound as she crept up and found the latch on the skylight.  She gave the interior of the club one last worried glance before she pulled herself out into the night sky.  After that, her only thought was making it to the high school as quickly as possible.  If Buffy wasn’t there, Giles would be.

Faith was to her car in less than a minute, and she paid zero attention to stoplights or speed limits as she made her way to the school.  She was there in less than five minutes and didn’t even bother to lock the car as she bolted into the school, sprinting towards the library.  Her heart sank.  Maybe she and Red hadn’t exactly been tight, but the girl didn’t deserve to be murdered and replaced by a soulless demon.   Faith had no clue how she was supposed to break this news to Buffy.  But she didn’t have time to worry about it.

She burst through the double doors of the library, and the gang was all there.  Coming to a halt right in front of Buffy, Faith froze.  The blonde’s eyes searched her curiously, only a hint of concern there.  _Fuck, how do I tell her?_   “B … I-I just … dammit, I dunno how to say this but …”  She swallowed heavily, decided to just get it over with.  “Willow’s dead.”  Bizarrely, Buffy and Xander just nodded at her, as if this was old news.  Faith’s eyes went wide, and shock started to set in.

She heard a noise to her right, and she glanced over, seeing the familiar red hair and pink fuzzy sweater.  “Hey, Willow,” she greeted distractedly.  Then she did a double take.  “Hey, what the fuck?”  There was no way the vampire had beaten her here on foot, and with time to change outfits.  Her eyes darted between Buffy and Willow in sheer and utter confusion.

“Yeah, we’re **_right_** there with ya, Faith,” Xander joked.

Buffy put a hand on Faith’s arm.  “We saw her too, at the Bronze.”  The other Slayer’s voice was softer, more tentative than usual.  Faith could only imagine the emotional journey she’d been through tonight.  Willow smiled weakly at her, waving. 

“This is mega freaky,” Faith muttered, before telling everyone that the vampire Willow had a whole mess of vamps at the Bronze, and for some reason they were holding everyone hostage.  Immediately, everyone sprung into action. 

Buffy took Faith by the wrist and started leading her out of the library, everyone else close behind.  “We can figure out exactly who she is **_after_** we prevent a feeding frenzy.”  They continued through the doors and out into the hall.   “How many were there?”

“At least ten, maybe as many as twenty,” Faith answered.

Willow’s voice called out meekly from behind the group.  “Hey guys?”  They all stopped and faced her.  Buffy’s hand was still on Faith’s wrist, and she tried not to let that distract her.  “What are we gonna do with … me?  Uh… the **_other_** me?”

Buffy let go of Faith and walked over to Willow.  “I dunno Will.”  She hesitated, and Faith rolled her eyes.  _Not this again._   “I mean … we just have to stop them.”

Willow winced.  “I-I get that.  I just … kind of wanted to know…”  Her voice trailed off, then her face brightened as some sort of realization occurred to her.  “Oh!  Hey, uh, go ahead.  Go.  I-I’ll catch up.”  She took off back towards the library, and Buffy shrugged.  Faith guessed she was scared to face her vampire self.  She didn’t really blame the witch.

The rest of the group continued towards the parking lot.  “We can all cram into my car,” Faith offered.  “That’ll be faster.”  They didn’t make it to her car though, before Willow came running up behind them, gasping and shouting at them to stop.  It’d been only a couple of minutes since they left her running back into the library.

She must have run as fast as her little witch legs would take her, seeing as how she was completely out of breath.  “I … got … her.”  Everyone looked at her in confusion.  She took a deep breath, doubling over.  “The vampire me,” she squeaked out.  “I tranqed her.  She’s in the library.”

Buffy was at Willow’s side immediately, falling to her knees to look the redhead in the face as she asked, “Are you okay?  Did she hurt you?”

“Banged me up a little, but I got her.”  Willow frowned.  “She called me a bitch.”  Faith grinned as she came up on the witch’s other side.  She and Buffy helped Willow up, and the group headed back for the library.  The first thing they did was lock the unconscious vampire in the library’s strange, oddly useful weapons/dangerous books/werewolf/book return cage. 

As Buffy and Faith locked the cage, Giles muttered in disbelief, “It’s extraordinary.”

Willow’s voice rose hysterically as she vehemently disagreed, “It’s **_horrible_**!  That’s me as a vampire?!  I’m so **_evil_** and …. **_Skanky_**.”  She paused, reflecting on something very specific, if the curious spark in her eyes was any good measure.  She whispered to Buffy, “And I think I’m kinda gay.”  Faith felt her lips burst into an amused grin.  _No shit, Sherlock._

Buffy tried to reassure her.  “Willow, just remember that a vampire’s personality has nothing to do with the person it was.”

Faith immediately jumped in to correct her.  “Come on, B.  You know that ain’t true.  Soul moves on, but the demon takes on all the memories and personality.”  Buffy glared at her, clearly having been trying to tell Willow what she thought the girl needed to hear, but Faith knew better.  She winked at Buffy before turning back to Willow.  “Trust me, Red, you’re **_definitely_** at least **_kinda_** gay.  Maybe you haven’t figured it out yet, and I guess your friends ain’t picked up on it… but take it from someone with a good bit of experience on the matter.  I know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.”  Faith grinned at her, playing up her confidence as she studiously avoided Buffy’s gaze.

Willow made a face but didn’t respond.  Everyone else looked at Faith like she’d sprouted a second head.  Faith shrugged, relishing the opportunity to add a little to her own mystery.  And also, maybe she was tired of dropping way too subtle hints around Buffy.  She couldn’t pass up the opportunity to out herself and needle Red a little.  This whole situation was already just so much fun.

_Well, except for the people back at the Bronze with the vampires._   Faith wondered why Vampire Willow had come to the school.  For whatever reason, everyone else seemed keen on pretending the exchange between Willow and Faith hadn’t happened, and Xander quickly asked, “So, uh, what do we do now?”

“Well, we have to get to the Bronze,” Giles said, as if it was obvious.  But he was cleaning his glasses, and Faith knew he was just as uncomfortable as everyone else.

“Even if they’re supposed to wait for—” Buffy gestured at the still, leather-clad form in the cage, “— ** _her_** , they may start feeding anyway.  Vampires are not notoriously reliable.”

At that, Xander suggested they charge in, but Giles warned them that there was a high casualty risk with that plan.  Which is when a lightbulb went off over Faith’s head.

“Listen up, Scoobies, the **_fun_** Slayer has a plan.”  She smirked at Buffy, knowing the blonde would make her pay for that dig later.  But she swaggered over to Willow before Buffy could protest, swinging her arm casually around the witch.  “How would you feel about a little role-playing, Red?”

Her brow furrowed in confusion for a moment, before she practically leapt away from Faith, eyes wide in understanding.  “Oh!  You… oh!”  Her eyes darted around nervously, but then she surprised Faith.  She leaned back against the counter, almost as if trying to play it cool, then replied, “Um, yeah.  I could do that.”

“Faith, you wanna share with the class?” Buffy asked, still glaring a little, Faith assumed because of the ‘fun Slayer’ comment.

“You remember back in LA, when you asked me about my acting skills?”  Buffy’s eyes widened immediately.

“No!”  She stepped forward, wagging her finger dramatically at Faith as she stepped in front of Willow.  “No!  Absolutely **_not_**.  You are not dressing my friend up like a dominatrix and sending her into a club full of vampires.”

“Buffy…”  Willow called from behind her.  Faith could see it in her eyes: the girl wanted to do this.  She found the idea thrilling.  Maybe the geeky little witch had finally gotten tired of being everyone’s favorite pushover.  Or maybe the vampire had simply awakened something inside her that she hadn’t realized was there.  Either way, she was on board with Faith’s plan, and the brunette was really enjoying this side of Red.

“Willow, no,” Buffy cajoled.  Faith put a hand on her shoulder.

“B, you and I will be right there.  If she gets into trouble, she can just scream or something, and we storm the gates.”  Buffy made as if to argue, and Faith shushed her.  “But maybe, just maybe, if you trust your friend, she can convince a few of the vamps to come outside, where we’ll be waiting for them.  Easy kills.”  A light went on behind Buffy’s eyes, and Faith made a face.  The other Slayer clearly hadn’t forgotten about their ongoing game.  Suddenly, she was a little more on board. 

Buffy turned back to Willow, who was quick to add, “If I can get even a couple of them to go outside, that’ll even the odds.  Less chance anyone human gets hurt, right?”  She smiled shyly.  “Come on, Buffy, I can do this.”

The other Slayer sighed, and Faith knew they had won her over.  Instead of waiting for verbal confirmation, Faith turned to the rest of the room.  “Alright, everyone out.  Red’s gotta make a quick wardrobe change, then I’m gonna give her a little pep talk.  Wait for us out by my car.”  Giles and Xander walked away without argument, but Buffy didn’t move.  “You too, B.  Just trust me on this.  I won’t let anything happen to your best friend.” 

Faith felt certain in that promise.  She could see the pain and guilt that still haunted Buffy’s eyes, remnants of when she thought she had failed to protect her friend.  But Buffy did trust her, and she nodded.  “I’ll be right outside,” she assured Willow, then turned and walked out.

“You’re really feelin’ this plan, huh?”  Willow met her gaze, and for the first time, Faith felt like the witch wasn’t judging her.  She nodded, and they walked over to the cage together.

“You know, I never thanked you properly,” Red offered.  “Ya know, for the whole Xander thing.”

“No big, Red.  Dude’s an ass.  Not really sure what you guys see in him.”

“Under all the piggishness, there’s a lot of good in there.  I promise.  He’s just … going through a phase.  But you’re right.  We put up with it too much.  **_I_** put up with it too much, hence the making with the magics instead of just confronting him.”  Willow frowned.

“That why you’re suddenly all gung ho about takin’ on a pack of vamps yourself?”  The redhead grimaced, just a little.  “Yeah, because that’s what you’re walkin’ into.”

Willow sighed.  “You’re surprisingly insightful.”  Faith rolled her eyes.  It was only surprising because she didn’t let people in.  Easier that way.  “But yeah.  And it’s not just that!  Everyone just sees me as boring old ‘do what she’s told’ Willow.  And I’m tired of it.”

“Can’t blame ya there, Red.  But for the record,” she eyed the witch with just a hint of flirtation, “I always figured you had more goin’ on in there than all that boring geek stuff.”  She unlocked the cage, not waiting for a response from Willow.  “Anyway, get with the outfit swap.”  Faith sauntered away, sitting lightly on the edge of the nearby table so she had a clear view of the two Willows.

“ ** _Faith_** ,” Willow scolded.  “You’re **_not_** watching me change.”  Something about her tone made Faith think her whole ‘kinda gay’ speech earlier had left something of an impression. 

“Ah come on.  What if you need help?”  Faith looked her up and down, leering only a little.  Mostly she just wanted to see if Willow would push back, and she was pleased to see that she did.

“Whatever.  If I actually do need help, I’ll ask for it.  Now you go wait in Giles’ office, and **_no_** peeking!”  Faith sighed dramatically, but she couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she turned and walked into the office.  She respected Willow’s request that she not peek, and after a few minutes, the redhead called her back into the room. 

Faith laid it on thick with her reaction as she walked out of the office, eyeing Willow from head to toe and biting her lower lip.  “Daaaaaaamn, Red.  You’re **_workin_** ’ that look.”  To her credit, Willow only blushed a little.  “How’s the fit?”

Willow winced, and let out a slightly pained breath.  “It’s a little binding.  Guess vampires really **_don’t_** have to breathe.”  She glanced down, and her eyebrows raised a little.  “Gosh, look at those.”  _Wow, we’ve gotta get this girl out more._   Faith laughed, loudly.

“Red, you’re so much more fun than I ever gave you credit for.”  She locked the cage back, taking one last look at the now comically dressed Vampire Willow, then slid in close to Willow and put her arm around the girl.  “Now, I’ve got a few pointers on how to play the bad girl here.” 

She directed Willow towards the doors.  “First, you gotta carry yourself differently.  No more of this shrinking into the corners thing ya do.  You walk straight into that room, tits first.  Shoulders back, tall, but not too tall.  Ya don’t wanna be stiff or uptight.  Walk like you’re hot stuff, the hottest.  Everyone else is fuckin’ lucky to be there in the room with you, ya know?”  Willow looked at her skeptically, as if she had no clue how she was going to pull that off. 

Buffy was waiting down the hall, silently watching them.  Faith stopped Willow, facing her with a hand on each shoulder.  “Okay so like … superheroes right?”

“Uh, what about them?”

“I’m just askin’, you’re familiar, right?”

“Oh,” Willow murmured.  “Uh, yeah?”

“Right so, they’ve all got this power pose.  It’s all about confidence.  So—” she reached around and put one hand on Willow’s abs and the other just between her shoulder blades, pushing just so to accomplish the posture she wanted, “—like this.  You feel that?”  Willow nodded, only a little uncomfortable.  Faith removed her hands, and Willow stayed that way.  “Now, feet in a wide stance, and hands on your hips—like Superman, ya know?”  Willow did as she asked, so clearly she did know.

“Great, Red.  Now, to go from superhero to badass, all ya gotta do is loosen up just a little.  Relax your arms.”  Willow released her fists, and her arms fell more towards her sides.  “Kay, but keep your shoulders back a little.  Yeah, like that.  Then just move your feet in together just a little bit and lean your weight on one a little more than the other.”  Willow did her best to follow these instructions, but she was clearly unsure of herself.

Buffy came up to Faith’s side, leaning against her side just a little.  “Will, are you sure you can handle this?”

Willow smiled at Buffy, nodded emphatically.  “Faith’s helpin’ me out.  I can do it.”  Faith was less sure.  It’d take a lot more practice.  Except that Buffy had an idea.

“Hey Will?  You remember last year when you taught Ms. Calendar’s class after…”  Willow nodded quickly, not wanting Buffy to finish the question.  “So, you were timid at first, unsure, but then you took charge, remember?  You put all those kids, even the annoying jocks, in their places, and you got them working.  Just … remember that feeling.  Channel that.  Whatever that was, **_that’s_** confident Willow.  And that’s how you be a badass.”  Faith smiled softly at Buffy as Willow suddenly looked more sure of herself, a bit of a fire behind her eyes.  _B really knows how to motivate people._   One more mark in the ‘Buffy is incredible’ column.  _Calm down, Faith._

“Alright, let’s do this.”  She turned on her heel and led the two other girls out of the library.  They piled into Faith’s car, and she got them back to Bronze in record time, again avoiding all the rules of the road in favor of speed.  Faith moved in first, sneaking down in through the skylight into the rafters just enough to confirm there was no horrific scene of bloody corpses waiting for them.  The vampires were still there, though they looked a bit antsy, and none of the humans seemed to be harmed.  Strangely enough, the brunette who had insisted she was a thousand years old or whatever was hanging out with the main vamp guy, as if she was in on Vampire Willow’s scheme—whatever that had been.  Faith stored that information away for later.  Girl was curious, to say the least.

As she dropped back down near the front of the Bronze, she explained to everyone that the vamps were still in a holding pattern.  “They must be real scared of ya, Red.”

“Who wouldn’t be?” asked Willow, fidgeting in a way that told Faith she was not used to wearing leather.  Faith tried not to seem skeptical—Red needed all the confidence she could get right then.

Buffy and Willow talked briefly, with Buffy making sure Willow was up to it and that she would give the signal at the first sign of trouble.  The signal being Willow screaming, of course.  While they did that, Faith directed Xander and Giles to go cover the back entrance.  As they moved out, Willow and Buffy came up behind her.  “We’ll be right outside,” Buffy assured her, and then she and Faith took up positions against the wall on either side of the door, so that they wouldn’t be seen when Willow opened the door to walk inside.  Willow caught each of their gazes in turn, then took a deep breath before throwing the door open and walking inside, strutting just like Faith taught her.

As the door closed behind her, Buffy and Faith exchanged a look, each pulling out a stake.  Faith could tell Buffy was terrified for Willow, and she felt the urge to try and calm the other Slayer.  “Hey B, what’s the score?”  Faith kept her voice low, but she knew Buffy could hear her.

The blonde’s eyes flashed at her as her brow furrowed just slightly, but she could see the slight uptick at the corners of her lips.  Buffy was trying to hide her amusement.  The idea had been Faith’s, sparked by the thrill of taking on that gang of vampires who were after Spike.  She figured the slaying would be that much more fun if it was a friendly competition between the Slayers.  Now, it was a weekly thing.  The victor chose her prize, and the loser couldn’t refuse.  That was what they’d said anyway.  Faith wasn’t quite sure how far she’d be willing to push that, to see what she could ask for before Buffy really would refuse.  So, she started with something simple when she won last week.  Buffy had to clean her room for her.  But Faith stuck around the entire time, teasing her ruthlessly.  It’d been a fun afternoon, for one of them anyway.

This week, Faith was currently up seven vamps to five, and tonight would obviously play a big part in who won the week, given how many vampires were waiting for them inside.  By referencing the game, Faith got Buffy focused on last week’s loss and how much Faith had gloated, not to mention Buffy’s current deficit.  Her worry over Red was forgotten, at least for the moment.

Unfortunately, Faith was so caught up in worrying about Buffy, that she didn’t react fast enough when the first vampire walked out the door, ostensibly on Willow’s urging.  Buffy moved with lightning fast reflexes, already turning to shoot Faith a taunting, but adorably satisfied look as the vampire turned to dust behind her.

“Alright, B.  I’ll spot ya that one.  Seven-six.  I got dibs on the next one though.”  She focused on the door, her blood pumping now.  She was ready to bolt forward the instance she sensed the door opening.  Except right at it started to, Buffy cried out as if in severe pain.  Faith’s eyes shot towards the other Slayer, and it was just enough distraction that Buffy was able to grab and stake the second vampire out the door, never taking her eyes off Faith as she did it. 

The biggest shit eating grin formed along the blonde’s soft pink lips, and Faith couldn’t fucking believe she fell for that.  “Wow, Faith, it’s sweet how much you care.”

“Damn, B.  Never knew you had it in ya.  That was low.”

“Consider us even now.  I’m **_plenty_** fun.”  Faith chuckled.  She couldn’t even be mad.  Except then a piercing scream rang out from inside the Bronze, and the two Slayers immediately sprung into action.  Buffy threw open the door, and Faith was right on her heels.  As the Slayers charged, the vampires reacted.  The tall leader guy charged at Buffy, which totally wasn’t fair.  Faith had wanted to stake him herself.  She settled for staking the blonde vamp who ran at her without any skill or strategy, then she lost herself to the battle.  There were still a bunch of vamps that needed killing, and she couldn’t waste time thinking about a silly game.

As the brawl continued, Faith held her own just fine.  She almost felt like a different person in situations like this, when there was no margin for error and any tiny mistake could get her killed.  She gave into the Slayer fully, acting solely on impulse, muscle memory, and instinct.  Though she did manage to catch a glimpse of Willow punching the annoying brunette right in the face, then comically shouting at the pain in her hand before meeting Oz on stage.  Then she focused back in on the two vamps she was fighting, kicking the legs out from one before reaching out and slinging a pool ball savagely at the other’s head, knocking him out.  She staked both in quick succession.

She finished off two more, one at a time, but no more came at her after that.  Faith looked up just in time to see Buffy throwing Vampire Willow, who had apparently showed up at some point, off of real Willow.  Faith rushed forward to stake the vamp, but Willow shouted at her to stop before she could get within two paces of the doppelganger.  Faith shot her a quizzical look, but she decided to play along for now.  Instead of staking her, she roughly grabbed the vampire’s hands, twisting them back and holding them in place behind her so that she couldn’t escape.

Vampire Willow didn’t even fight her.  Instead she just hung her head before moaning, “This world’s no fun.”

Willow caught her doppelganger’s gaze, snarking, “You noticed that, too?”  It was a surprisingly empathic moment, and Faith wasn’t sure how to handle it.  Willow insisted that instead of staking the vampire, they should just send it back to the dimension it came from.  Faith protested vehemently, earning her a practically venomous look from Buffy.  _What is with these people and sparing vampires?_   _Whatever, it’s Red’s big night, and if this bitch is from another dimension, I guess she ain’t really my problem._

Oz, Willow, Buffy, Faith, and the vamp loaded into Oz’s van and headed to the factory where the vampire said she was supposed to be.  Willow thought this would be the place they’d most likely succeed in casting the spell to send her back.  The others took Faith’s car back to the library for supplies, before meeting them there.  While they waited, the Willows traded clothes, and Faith pretended not to notice how much the vamp was clearly into herself.  They waited in awkward silence for the others to arrive, the vampire surprisingly willing to mope about rather than attacking them.

When Giles arrived, with the brunette from the Bronze— _Anya was her name, apparently_ —in tow, he and Willow set everything up fairly quickly.  Buffy came up to Faith’s side and whispered, “I’m up to thirteen now.”  Faith’s brow furrowed, her body tensing in frustration.  “What about you?”

“Twelve,” Faith admitted, avoiding Buffy’s smug looks.  “Look B, we really shouldn’t just let a soulless murder machine go like this.”

“Oh please,” Buffy scolded, bumping her hip lightly against Faith’s.  “You just want an excuse to catch up.  Let Willow do her thing.”

Faith growled, but she guessed Buffy was right.  She’d just have to make up the deficit tomorrow.  The ritual went down without a hitch, and the vampire vanished in an instant.  Faith hoped she was immediately staked in whatever dimension she had retreated to.

~~~~

Almost as if the vampires in town had heard about the bloodbath— _erm, **dust** bath, I guess?_—last night at the Bronze, Buffy and Faith hadn’t come across any potential evil in their patrol tonight.  Which was fine with Buffy, seeing as how she was in the lead.

“Hey B?”  Buffy was immediately wary based solely on Faith’s tone of voice.  They were walking through the fourth cemetery of the night, walking closely side-by-side as usual.  Buffy ignored the question, hoping she could stave off whatever cringe-worthy, offensive, or way too personal thing Faith was about to say.  Even though she knew nothing she could do would stop the other Slayer.  “So … look, I just gotta know… if you’re vampire doppelganger popped in from another dimension just to say hi or whatever—would you bone her?”

Buffy stopped in her tracks, and Faith walked a couple more steps before realizing.  Whatever Buffy had expected, it wasn’t as crass as this.  She’d half-expected Faith to dig in more on her ‘Willow is kinda gay’ theory from yesterday.  ‘Would you have sex with a vampire version of yourself?’ was nowhere even within the realm of Buffy’s imagination.

“Faith.”  Buffy tried not to seem bothered by the question, but she was sure she failed epically at that task.  “I … what the hell kinda question is that?”

“One that has you blushing,” Faith teased, sliding her arm around Buffy and pulling her forward.  _Dammit!_

“Ugh, fine.  I’ll play your game, even if it is twisted.”  Faith rolled her eyes, not at all fazed by Buffy’s attempts to get control over the conversation.  “I …no.”  _No, right?  Definitely not.  Right?_   “Ick.  That’d be so weird.”  _Plus… I’m a girl.  And vamp me would be a girl.  And I’m not …_ “Especially if she was a vampire.  I mean… ugh, sure, I dated one, but that was different.  He has a soul.  And he’s tall and dreamy and very **_not_** me.  Ick.”

“So … ick, is your final response then?”  Faith’s voice was light and mocking, but Buffy could’ve sworn there was a hint of tension there.  She blew out a breath dramatically, in a way that made it obvious she was joking around.  “Geez, B, I expected more.  That’s just so boring of you.”

“Oh, and I suppose you’d be just fine with it then?”  Buffy raised an eyebrow, and she kicked herself for actually being interested in Faith’s answer.  _This is stupid._

“More than fine.  I think it sounds wicked sexy.  Have you seen me?”  Faith bumped her hip against Buffy’s, catching her eye long enough to smirk and wink.  _Ugh.  Sometimes Faith is just so … **Faith**_.  “Even if she was a vamp… though, lemme be clear here.  I, for one, do **_not_** get off on screwing the undead, but … damn, I’m hot as hell.  And I know **_exactly_** how I like it.  It’d be fucking incredible, B.  And I could just stake her afterwards. Or …”  She got a devious look in her eyes that worried Buffy.  “Hell, I could just like keep her around as a sex slave.  Soulless monster—no harm, no foul, right?”

Buffy couldn’t push away from Faith’s arm fast enough.  “Okay, so let me just say **_ew_**.”  Buffy didn’t understand the places that Faith’s mind went sometimes.  Sometimes the girl’s wild spirit intrigued her; other times, it felt terrifying and inexplicable.  _But that isn’t the only reason I’m freaking, is it?_

Somewhere between Faith’s comment that she knew a thing or two about girls being gay and admitting that she would absolutely have all kinds of kinky sex with her vampire self, Buffy’s eyes had finally started to open up to a terrifying thought that had never occurred to her.

There was this comfortable closeness between the Slayers.  And Buffy hadn’t ever really overthought it.  It was what it was.  She liked Faith.  She enjoyed their differences, and they had fun together.  And they always had each other’s backs, even when things had been weird or tense or confusing between them.  It’d never occurred to Buffy that for Faith, that might look like something more than …

Buffy shook off the thought.  Faith was probably just screwing around back in the library.  She was always like that.  Flirty and risqué and pushing boundaries.  _Flirty?_   Buffy had never thought of Faith’s behavior towards her as flirty before…

She shivered against the cold December air, and Buffy wasn’t sure if the chilly weather was the only reason.  Faith noticed, however, and immediately moved in closer, sliding her arm back into its normal place over Buffy’s shoulder as she tried to warm her up.  _What is this?_   Buffy felt weird even asking the question.

Except that now she had nothing but questions.  _Crap._


	10. A Cruel Twist of Fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amends

Another overly peppy Christmas pop song began to play all around them, softly but insistently.  This time it was one of those boy bands that all the girly girls seemed to like all of the sudden.  When they’d first arrived at the mall, the seasonal music had been encouraging.  It set the mood.  But now it was starting to drive Faith crazy.  It was taunting her, reminding her of her inability to accomplish her goal.

“Why did you even bring me along, if you’re just gonna shoot down every idea that I have?” Red asked, the whine in her voice making it clear she was every bit as frustrated as Faith.  Her only response was to shoot the witch a wide-eyed, sideways look that hinted at all the danger and violence Faith was capable of.  “Geez, I was **_just_** asking.”

Faith blew out a frustrated breath as they approached yet another jewelry case, this time in a big department store.  “Look, I don’t wanna be here anymore either, but it’s gotta be **_perfect_**.”  She refused to look back at Willow.  “And I’m not good at this stuff.  And like I said, you’d know better than I would what she would like.”

“And that’s probably true, ‘cept you keep blowing off every suggestion I have.”  There was that tone in Red’s voice again.  The one that Faith didn’t want to think about.  The one that said, ‘I know why this is so important to you.’  It had been a risk asking Willow to help her find a Christmas present for Buffy, but something deep down inside of her refused to get this present wrong.  She and Red had been on pretty decent terms since Faith helped her find her inner bad girl, and no one could deny that the witch had been noticeably more confident since then.  It was like she just needed a little push to find a side of herself that was always there, hidden under all the sugar and spice.  “What am I missing here, Faith—what **_exactly_** is it you have in mind?”

It’d been over a month since Buffy finally cut off all ties from Angel, and Faith’s feelings for the other Slayer hadn’t changed.  If anything, Faith was falling a little more for the girl every day, and it terrified her.  She had no fucking clue what she was doing here, but for whatever reason, finding the perfect Christmas present felt crucial.  It wasn’t like she planned on asking Buffy out if she really liked the present … _but maybe that wouldn’t be the worst idea, ya know?_  

“I was thinkin’ I’d get her a bracelet, but it has to be perfect.”  _Stop saying ‘perfect.’_   “Something she like.  Something fancy, but not too fancy.  Something that she can wear out slaying, that won’t get in the way or fall off easily.”  What Faith didn’t say was that it needed to **_suggest_** ‘hey I’m into you,’ without screaming it.  As an afterthought, she tried to cover up how important this was to her.  “I ain’t got a lot of friends in this world.  One, in fact.  B’s done a lot for me, and we’ve got this connection.  She deserves something nice.”  She didn’t bother to look and see if Willow was buying it.

Because that’s when she saw it.  A relatively thin bracelet, made of interlocking pieces of silver that created the appearance of a sleek, stylish rope.  It was simple, but strong.  Subtly beautiful.  It reminded her of Buffy.  It was **_exactly_** what she was looking for.  “Red!  What about this?  You think Buffy would like it?”  She pointed through the glass display case, turning her head to look at Willow.  The witch’s eyes were softer than Faith had expected, but they widened just a little as a smile spread across her lips.

“I think she’d love it,” she answered warmly, before turning to wave over the lady behind the counter.  “Can we see this bracelet?”  The woman was nice enough, but Faith could tell she was frazzled.  It was only a few days before Christmas, and the mall was packed with people doing last minute shopping.  She pulled out the bracelet and handed it to Faith.  It felt cool to the touch.  She slid a finger over its length, and it felt smoother than she had expected, the links unobtrusive and well-made.  It also felt firm, despite it’s delicate appearance.  _Good, I don’t want it breakin’ on her._

“How do I make sure it fits just right?”  Faith hadn’t really bought jewelry like this before.  She was more of a leather chokers and rubber bracelets kinda gal. 

Willow looked at it thoughtfully.  “Well, I think Buffy’s wrist is a little bit wider than mine—”

“—And not quite as wide as mine,” Faith interrupted.  Willow tried it on, and it was a little loose, and when Faith tried it on, she couldn’t quite close the clasp comfortably.  _It really **is** perfect._   “I’ll take it,” she informed the salesperson.  “Can you gift wrap it for me?”

Willow was quiet as Faith took her package and paid for it.  When she spoke again, her question was gentle but insistent.  “So … when did you first know that you like girls?”  Faith glanced sideways to confirm that Red hadn’t seen her freeze for a half step before continuing her pace as if nothing had happened.  She didn’t think the witch had caught that or the momentary slip in Faith’s normally aloof façade.  She had been expecting this question since the ‘I think I’m kinda gay’ conversation, and yet somehow, the timing of it in this moment caught her off guard anyway.

Faith was torn.  She hated being vulnerable.  And she definitely didn’t want Red knowing her business.    Maybe the witch wasn’t constantly watching her suspiciously anymore, but she still hadn’t come close to trusting the girl.  Or any of the Scoobies.  Faith had learned the hard way, on multiple occasions, that people can never be trusted.  Trust was for sheep.

But Willow was in a tough spot.  Her eyes were opening up to something new about herself, something confusing and maybe scary.  Something that people never talk about for some goddamn reason.  Even if Red wasn’t Buffy’s best friend, Faith would feel like she owed the girl something, **_anything_** , to help her feel like she wasn’t crazy.  _Girls like us gotta stick together._

So, with a displeased grunt, Faith decided to go against all of her normal instincts, and she opened up to Willow.  “I’ve **_always_** liked girls, Red.”  That caught her attention.  The other girl’s head whipped around to face her so quickly, Faith wondered if she hadn’t really expected Faith to get honest with her.  “I remember getting crushes on girls back in middle school.”  _Back when things were shitty, but before everything completely fell apart._  

“But … you’re always talking about—”  Her voice caught in her throat, as if she couldn’t think of an inoffensive way of saying what she was thinking.  So Faith finished the thought.

“Screwin’ the dudes?”  Faith smirked at Willow, enjoying the other girl’s discomfort at her blunt statement of what they were both thinking.  But she timidly offered Faith the tiniest of nods.  She broke eye contact with Willow to scan the mall, looking for the food court.  “C’mon, I’m starvin’.”

As Willow followed her in search of food, she could feel the tense anticipation seeping out of the girl to her right.  And for that reason, Faith couldn’t resist torturing her, just a little.  She went silent without another glance at Willow, just daring her to say something or push the conversation further.  It wasn’t until they were line at the shitty chain pizza restaurant that Willow finally broke, squeaking out an exasperated, “Um, Faith?”

She turned turned an innocent gaze towards Willow.  “Yeah, what’s up, Red?”  She seemed completely at a loss for words, and Faith decided to spare her.  “Oh, right, we were talkin’ ‘bout girls.”  She smirked.  “So, I ain’t gonna get all open and honest with ya here, Red, but girls are great.  They’re gorgeous, they smell nice, they’re capable of stringing two thoughts together without makin’ ya feel like a piece of meat.  They’re also emotional and confusing, and honestly, men are just easier.”

“Easier?”  It was a good thing Faith had Slayer hearing, because Willow didn’t seem capable of making a sound louder than a whisper at this point. 

“Red, you don’t gotta get all shy and quiet.  So ya like girls?  It ain’t that weird, despite what people want you to believe.”  Faith rolled her eyes dismissively.  “But yeah, men are easier.  I don’t … I mean, they can be fun, but it’s not like I ever get feelings for them.  Get in, get off, get out.  Easy.”  Faith kept her eyes on the road, but her mind was elsewhere.  “Girls, though.  Nothin’ easy there.” 

She thought back to all the crushes she’d had but never acted on.  Growing up, she’d never heard of two women being together.  The only exposure to lesbians she’d had was her overly Catholic grandmother talking about people living in sin.  But she knew what she was about.  Some men were hot, but she only ever really had eyes for girls.  She just … didn’t know what to do with that attraction, and then life happened.  Not a lot of time for asking girls on dates when you’re shipped from foster home to foster home, then living on the streets just trying to survive.  Maybe that’s why she felt so lost when she tried to think about how to handle her feelings for Buffy.

“I-I’m not … I didn’t say **_I_** liked girls.”  Now it was Willow who insisted on looking anywhere other than the girl next to her.  Faith ordered herself five giant slices of pizza, ignoring the dumbfounded look from the idiot boy taking her order.  Willow ordered a slice right after her, waiting until they were away from the cash register before continuing.  “B-but … okay, so … what did you mean?”  Faith raised an eyebrow quizzically.  She knew exactly what Willow was asking, but the redhead needed to find that courage again.  Faith was done helping her along.

Willow’s eyes darted back and forth, and then she leaned forward a little.  Her face was like a vivid painting of nerves and embarrassment as she whispered, “When you said I was … you know, uh  … **_definitely_** kinda gay?”

Faith gave her an exaggerated disbelieving look, then grabbed her two plates of pizza and took off for a booth in the back.  Willow followed her after about thirty seconds, and she couldn’t have looked mousier if she tried.  “This gay thing has got you all kinds of freaked out, huh?”

“No!” Willow responded without thinking, and maybe that was why that little bit of fire sounded off in her voice.  Then it was immediately replaced by the same timidity that had possessed her throughout the conversation.  “I mean … I’m **_not_** gay.  I have Oz.  I …”  She bit her lip nervously.  “I **_love_** him.  I don’t know what was wrong with vampire me, but … I like boys.”

“What’s your point there, Red?”  Willow seemed dumbfounded by the question, so Faith continued.  “Oz is a cool dude.  I like him.  It’s kinda funny—he’s a werewolf, but he’s maybe the least beasty of any boy I’ve ever met.”  She took another bite, and Willow smiled softly at the compliment.  “But just because you love a boy doesn’t mean you can’t like girls too.  That’s why I said **_kinda_** gay.”  From the look on her face, Red wasn’t comprehending what she was saying.

“Look, I don’t get the warm fuzzies for dudes.  Just chicks.  But I still think Brad Pitt’s a wicked hottie, and I’d sure as hell enjoy takin’ him for a ride, if ya get what I’m sayin’.”  Faith made a show of shoving half a piece of pizza in her mouth, chewing openly.  She smirked as she got the reaction she was looking for, a look of mild disgust from Willow.  She swallowed, then added, “I get it if you ain’t ready to admit it, but it doesn’t have to change how you feel about Oz.”

Willow looked down at her hands, having already finished off her pizza.  When she looked back up, there was a devious look in her eyes.  “So … how come you don’t have a girlfriend?  I only ever see you checking out men.”

Faith finished off her last piece of pie, wiping the grease off of her hands and throwing away her paper plates before turning back to Willow.  “Like I said.  Easier.  Not lookin’ to get attached or nothin’.”  Faith was pretty sure Willow knew, but she wasn’t about to admit it.  The witch followed her out of the restaurant, staying a step behind Faith.

“You keep telling me that men are easier, but what does that even mean?  What’s so tricky about women?  **_You’re_** a woman.”  _Oh you sweet naïve little girl._ Faith wasn’t going to take the bait.  She kept walking.  “Come on, Faith.  You’re not scared to talk about it are you?  Maybe I need to know—what’s difficult about girls?”

They were halfway to Faith’s car at this point, and she stopped immediately, turning rapidly to face Willow.  “This shit, right here.  Women get under your skin.  They make you feel.  Make ya all nervous and confused and—” _Shit shit shit now I’m talking about this, shut up Faith._   She kept going.  “Me and feelings don’t get along well.  I don’t like openin’ up, and I don’t fuckin’ trust people.  Girls have a way of … I don’t like not having control over my own emotions.”  She turned away in a huff, stalking towards her car.  Before she could stop herself, she muttered, “And they get you all confused with mixed signals while they pine after their vampire boyfriends.”

“ ** _Ah hah_**!” came Willow’s triumphant cry from behind her, and Faith tightened her fists, almost painfully so.  She couldn’t believe she’d let the witch goad her into that kind of admission.  “I **_knew_** you had a crush on Buf—”

Faith grabbed her and whipped her around, forcefully shoving her into the side of the car.  She kept a fist closed tightly around the collar of her sweater and got right in her face.  “You’re not gonna say a fucking thing to Buffy, you got that?”  A flash of genuine fear crossed Red’s eyes, and Faith immediately released her, taking a step back.  “Fuck.  I’m sorry, Red.”

“It’s okay.  I get that you don’t like opening up.”  Willow’s voice sounded wary, but then that tiny bit of steel was back in it.  “You’re not exactly subtle, though.”  _Here we go._

“Oh?  That why you been shooting me suspicious looks for months now?”

“Maybe,” Willow admitted, shifting back into doe-eyed mode as she moved away from the car a little, giving Faith some room.  “I didn’t get it until you asked for help with Buffy’s present.  But I could tell you wanted something more than friendship from her.  I just … **_that_** didn’t occur to me.”  _It never does with closet cases._   “Then you went and told everyone that you’re not exactly straight, and you’re always so flirty with her, and now you’re buying her jewelry for Christmas.”

“I’m obvious, I get it.” Faith paced a little, suddenly filled with nervous energy.  This is **_exactly_** why she stayed away from girls.  She hated feeling this way.  “I don’t even know if B has a thing for girls, and even if she does, I’m not sure she’ll ever be over Angel.”  _Much less fall for a damaged white trash Southie like me._   “She and I got a good thing goin’, two Slayers livin’ ‘it up and fightin’ the good fight.  Not lookin’ to mess with that just cuz I’ve got a dumb crush.”

She flung open the car door and slid into the driver’s seat.  _This was a stupid idea.  I can’t give her that bracelet.  She can’t—she won’t…_   The passenger door snapped open, and now it was Willow who was in her face.  “Hey!”  Faith met her gaze, hating how unsure of herself she felt.  Red’s eyes were so unique, a bluer shade of green than Buffy’s, with a warm golden brown center around her pupils.  They radiated confidence all of the sudden.  “You sure that’s all it is?  A crush?”

There was a fierceness to her gaze that held Faith in place.  _She already figured you out, dumbass.  No point in holding back now._   “No.  It’s more than that.  But I can’t…”

“You **_can_**.”  She sounded so sure.  “Hey, I have no idea if Buffy likes you like that.  But I **_do_** know that she likes you, a lot.  She feels a connection with you.  Strong enough that it made me jealous.”  _That much I already knew, Red.  Doesn’t make any of this any easier._   “Sometimes, you just have to be brave.  A different kinda brave than your whole ‘leap into a nest of vampire blindfolded’ brave.”  She joked, but that actually sounded like a hell of an evening to Faith.  “Just … start with giving her the bracelet.  See what happens.”

 _Yeah._   Faith nodded.  _I can do that._   She slid the present into the backseat, then turned on the car.  Buffy deserved that.  At least that.  _Maybe more._   An idea sprung to mind.  “Hey Red?  I don’t think we’re quite done yet.”

~~~~

“You had a dream about Angel,” Giles repeated, dismissively.

“I was **_in_** Angel’s dream,” Buffy corrected emphatically.  The door to Giles’ office was closed, but Faith could hear them just fine, even if Willow and Xander couldn’t.  Buffy had called them all to the library, but she insisted on talking to Giles alone first.  She wouldn’t say what was up, and now Faith knew why. 

The three of them were sitting at the table, waiting in edgy anticipation.  Faith was sitting on the table between the two friends, protectively closer to Willow.  As far as she knew, things were improving between the gang and Xander, but she wasn’t about to let him forget that she knew what kind of person he was deep down.  Willow and Xander were chatting, but it wasn’t their conversation Faith was concerned with.

Inside the office, she was trying to convince Giles that there was stuff in the dream she couldn’t possibly know about, that he was reliving a memory.  Her tone made it seem pretty clear that it was not a pleasant memory.  “There’s something wrong with him.”

Giles took a breath, then dropped a bomb.  “I know.  I've seen him.  He wanted to know why he was back.”  The pause in the conversation led Faith to believe this was a surprise to Buffy, but to her credit, she rolled with it.

“Is there a way for us to find that out?”  Faith wished she could see Buffy’s face.  Her chest felt tight, and she couldn’t interpret how Buffy was feeling about all this Angel stuff based on her voice alone.  There was some back and forth, then Buffy said something that put Faith a little more at ease.  “I’m not seeing him anymore.  I’m trying to put all this behind me, and I’m not gonna be able to as long as we’re both doing guest spots in each other’s dreams.”

That convinced Giles, apparently, and the two of them walked out of the office.  Faith averted her gaze, not wanting Buffy to know she’d been eavesdropping.  Willow brightened a little and asked, “So, what’s the what?”

Buffy looked a little haunted, but even so, she was quick to seek out Faith and lock eyes with her.   Faith tried to give her a reassuring look but couldn’t really be sure how much of her heart was in it.  Giles took command of the room.  “Something is amiss with Angel.  He may not be quite in his right mind, and Buffy has found herself pulled into his dreams.  We believe it may have something to do with why he was brought back from the hell dimension.”

Faith’s mind went straight to the Claddaugh ring, and she did her best to hide the distress that flooded through her.  _B brought him back.  With her love or whatever._   She wasn’t about to announce that guess to the group, though.  Xander spoke up, surprisingly cheery as he asked, “Where do we start?”  The entire room looked at him suspiciously, causing him to shrink noticeably.  He gazed guiltily at Buffy.  “Look, I'm aware I haven't been the mostest best friend to you when it comes to the whole Angel thing, and, um, I don't know, maybe I finally got the Hanukkah spirit.”  Faith shot a questioning look at Willow.  She knew Red was Jewish, but was Xander?  A quick shake of the head from Willow answered the question for her.

Giles moved forward, handing out books.  “Well, we start, not surprisingly, with research.”  And so they did.  Giles went back to look for additional books in his occult collection, towards the back of the stacks where students couldn’t have access.  Faith didn’t jump to grab one though.  She was pretty damn uneasy with all of this.  She wanted to help Buffy, but she really didn’t want anything to do with anything Angel-related.  But she tried.

“Hey, B.”  Buffy looked up.  “This all seems pretty vague.  How are we supposed to know what we’re even lookin’ for?”

“Prophecy, maybe?” Willow offered, trying to be helpful.  The way she avoided Faith’s gaze made it pretty clear that the redhead understood how uncomfortable this was for Faith.  “Something relating to a vampire with a soul?”  Buffy shrugged, but nodded.  ”Or, or maybe if you told us about the dream, that might be helpful, what with context and all?”

At that, Buffy immediately eyed Faith warily.  _What have you been dreamin’ about, B?_ But she sighed, pushing her book away and standing again.  She paced as she explained that she found herself standing in the middle of an old-timey room.  “It was like a party or something—there was um punch.  And stringed instruments playing.”  Buffy’s entire body was tense as she paced, slow but stiff.  “I was just **_there_** , and I couldn’t move.  I could only watch.  He was in a dark corner with a … servant or a maid.  She was terrified of him, and he was …” 

Buffy struggled to explain, and part of Faith wanted to put a hand on the other Slayer’s shoulder.  Calm her down a little.  Instead, she stayed where she was, hiding desperately behind her mask of aloofness.  “He … he was distracting her from her job.  Trying to convince her to … do something, I don’t know.”  _He was trying to force her to fuck him,_ Faith thought immediately.  What else could it have been to make it this hard for Buffy to explain?  _That or he wanted to eat her._

“She kept trying to convince him to let her go, and he forced her under a stairwell and manipulated her to … I thought he was going to …”  She couldn’t say it, and Faith knew she was right.  “But then he didn’t, he … he killed her, fed on her.”  At this point, Faith was the only one who would meet Buffy’s gaze, except that Faith was the only person Buffy refused to look at.  “Then he looked up and saw me.  And for a split second before I woke up, there was recognition.  Angelus was replaced by Angel.  Then I woke up.”

Buffy’s eyes were full of emotion.  Fear and conflict, even some disgust.  But most obvious was concern.  She was worried about Angel.  _I can’t do this._   She pushed out of her chair, exchanging a significant glance with Willow, who seemed to understand.  “I’m sorry, B, but I can’t do this.  I … I’m not a book person.”  She was already on her way out of the library, forcing herself not to look back.  “Gonna go patrol.”

Buffy didn’t make any effort to follow her, and the last thing Faith heard was a confused Xander muttering, “But it’s broad daylight.”

~~~~

Buffy’s eyes opened slowly.  It was still night, her bedroom dark around her.  Her silk PJs felt soft against her skin, buttoned all the way up despite the warm weather and the comfy sheets.  Her gaze slid upward to see Angel sitting on the edge of her bed, near her knees.  His presence was warm and soothing, and she raised her hand slightly to meet his as he reached for her, their fingers interlacing.  He smiled softly at her, and now she felt more awake.  She could feel her whole body thrumming with desire.

No longer under any covers, Buffy pulled Angel all the way onto the bed, sliding her legs around him and settling down on top of his lap as she moved in to kiss him.  He was just as eager as she was, and her lips had barely met his when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight to his body.  She kissed him hungrily, and immediately their bodies moved as one.  She reached one hand, then the other, under the hem of his thick sweater and pulled it up and over his head. 

As his arms came back to her body, she looked deep into his warm brown eyes.  Mere inches apart, they stared at each other, savoring the deep sensuality of the moment.  _I love him so much._   Her breath hitched a little as he pushed her already unbuttoned pajama top off of her shoulders.  His strong hands felt like ice against the bare skin of her back, sending a tingle down her spine that felt wonderful against the heat of the passion building inside of her. 

In the darkness of the night, everything was a blur.  Buffy couldn’t believe the amount of need she felt in the moment.  All she could see or feel or smell or taste was Angel.  They were under the covers, and his naked body under hers just felt so right.  Her hands traced down his firm muscles, and she gasped as he pushed inside of her.  This wasn’t like anything she had ever experienced, and Buffy felt as though she ceased to exist as a physical presence.  Everything was dark and hazy, and she felt as though she and Angel flowed into each other seamlessly.  She could feel the pulse of pleasure, the rhythm of his movements against her body, but it wasn’t like before. 

There was no conscious thought anymore.  Buffy and Angel moved on instinct as they rolled over, allowing Angel to move deeper inside of her.  She moaned loudly at the feel of him, and he moved his hand up the length of her outstretched arm.  As their hands clasped firmly, she could feel his warm breath on her neck as he nibbled and kissed her.  She could felt like she was losing herself fully to the intense passion between them. 

A bright flash of light violently tore apart the moment, and Buffy saw dark symbols cut into the pale eyeless face of a hooded bald man.  Buffy gasped again at the feel of pleasure another thrust sent shuddering through her body, and then Angel forcefully pinned both her arms to the bed above her head.  Thunder crackled all around them, and Buffy could feel deep in her gut the intense craving Angel experienced as his face shifted, exposing fangs.  Then he was inside of her again, this time at her neck.  She could feel her blood flowing into his mouth as he continued to suck at her neck.  The act sent waves of sensual pleasure and raw pain through her, a mix of feelings she’d never experienced before.  Everything dissolved into an intense white light as she could feel the life leaving both their bodies.

With a gasp, Buffy opened her eyes again.  This time, she saw nothing but towering stacks of books around her.  Her body still pulsed as the climax she had just experienced started to fade.  She had felt the moment of death and the moment of orgasm instantaneously, and the strength of the sensations had woken her.  _Another Angel dream._ Buffy shot up into a seated position, her heart racing.  This wasn’t like before.  This wasn’t a memory; it was a shared dream.  An experience.  She didn’t dream about sex with Angel.  She and Angel had made love, really made love, just not in the real world.  _Oh god, did I just cost him his soul again?  Can that happen from a dream?_

Buffy stood in a panic and began to rush forward, but she had to stop, only barely catching herself against one of the stacks.  She felt dizzy and disoriented from the dream, and not quite herself.  But she needed to find Angel, needed to know if he was okay.  She stumbled blearily out of the stacks and down the stairs into the front part of the library.

“Here, Buffy,” Giles greeted, setting something down on the table.  “Take a look.”  She was going to tell him that she didn’t have time, but he kept talking.  Her eyes still wouldn’t quite focus.  “These letters contain references to a … a-an ancient power known as The First.”

“First **_what_**?” Buffy muttered without really thinking.

“Evil,” he answered ominously.  “ ** _Absolute_** evil, older than man.  Than demons.  It could have had the power to bring Angel back.”  _But why?_   She tried to look at the ancient yellowed letters Giles had laid out on the table.  Her vision immediately snapped into sharp relief as she saw the terrifying face of the bald man from her dream depicting on one of them.

“These guys,” Buffy said, more urgency in her voice now.  She picked up the letter and showed Giles.  “I-I saw them in my dream.  Uh … I, I feel asleep up there.”  They’d been in the library for hours at this point, and after having some of the pizza Xander brought them, Buffy had made her way back into the stacks by herself.  Where she’d fallen asleep, apparently.

“You had another dream?” Giles asked, his voice tightening with concern.  “With Angel?”  She nodded uneasily.  “What happened?”

 _Nope!  Not having that conversation._   The longer she was awake, the less urgently she felt the need to check on Angel.  It had only been a dream, and she certainly hadn’t felt any real happiness from him.  At least, that wasn’t the word she would use to describe the experience.  She evaded Giles’ question.  “We don’t need to get sidetracked—who **_are_** these guys?”

“They’re know as the, uh—”  he sat down in a nearby chair, rubbing some of the stress from his brow, “—the Bringers o-o-or Harbingers.  They’re high priests of The First.  They uh … they can conjure spirit manifestations and set them on people, influence them, haunt them.”  Buffy thought about how haunted Angel had looked when she ran into him on the street the night before.  It was the first time she’d seen him since the night with Spike, and it was like he couldn’t see her at all.  He was distracted, and he kept looking behind her.  Except there was no one there.  No one that Buffy could see, anyway.

“These are the guys working the mojo on Angel?”  Xander came out of Giles’ office.  Buffy suddenly realized she didn’t know when Willow had left or where she had gone.  She shook her head slightly, still clearing out the cobwebs from her vision.

“We gotta stop them, right?” he asked.

Giles’ brow crinkled in frustration.  “Y-you can’t **_fight_** the First, Buffy.  It’s not a-a physical being.”

Buffy shrugged.  She wasn’t about to let that stop her.  Not with Angel’s soul on the line.  “Well, I-I can fight these priest guys.”

Xander seemed to determined to help her, as if making up for past mistakes.  His voice was firm and confident.  “So, let’s go find them.”  Buffy nodded.  She knew just the place to start looking.  “Let’s pay Willy a little visit.”

~~~~

The Bringers **_might_** be underground.  **_Somewhere_** in Sunnydale.  Maybe.  That was all they had been able to figure out, and now it was time for Christmas Eve fun with her mom and Faith.  Which brought along its own special set of confusing feelings, even without the threat of the literal First Evil hanging over her and the intense memories of her very real sex dream with her ex still fresh in her mind.

She had rushed upstairs and taken a quick shower when she got home, trying to avoid everyone and take a moment to herself to clear her head.  Ever since their encounter with Willow’s mopey lesbian vampire doppelganger, Buffy felt like she was seeing Faith in an entirely different light.  One in which she had the increasingly unshakeable impression that Faith had feelings for her.  Romantic-type feelings.  For her.  Buffy.  Another girl.

If it had been anyone else, things would’ve been pretty straightforward.  She was … moderately sure of that, at least.  The concept of being attracted to another girl had never really occurred to her, not that she necessarily had a problem with lesbians or anything.  She just … it just wasn’t something that had ever come up before.  Buffy was sure she’d never experienced attractions like that at least.  She’d always been captivated by the big, broad-shouldered, broody guys and their muscles and short hair and stubble and … _okay maybe this is getting to me a little._

If some girl she went to school with suddenly became interested in her, no big.  No thanks, not for me.  But with Faith…  Buffy couldn’t pretend that she didn’t enjoy the closeness they shared.  The connection between them was electric.  Sometimes it felt literally so.

_But that’s just a Slayer thing._

That she had never experienced with Kendra.

_I’m not gay._

Neither was Faith, necessarily, at least not based on what she’d told Buffy about her fairly active sex life.

_But we’re just friends.  Really good friends._

Who sometimes put their arms around each other, were constantly sharing visceral moments of passion and frenetic energy as they fought the forces of evil on a nightly basis, and who felt connected on a spiritual and physical level during and after such battles.

Buffy felt overwhelmed by all of it.  _Why do things have to be so complicated?  Why do things have to change?_   She didn’t ask for a tragic love story with a centuries old vampire who she had to kill to save the world but who was now back, except that they could never have sex except apparently in dreams.  She didn’t ask to form this immediate and powerful connection with a feisty and gorgeous new Slayer who turned out to be at least a little gay.  She didn’t ask to deal with all of that all at once while at the same time having to worry about defeating an incorporeal manifestation of darkness that she couldn’t physically fight.  And all of it on Christmas Eve.

She snorted derisively, drawing a curious glance from Faith as she walked into the living room with a glass of egg nog for each of them.  Dinner had been wonderful and delicious.  Another showcase at how close her mom and Faith had grown, which both warmed Buffy’s heart and made her that much more conflicted about the looming question of how the other Slayer felt about her.  Not only did Buffy find herself over-analyzing everything Faith did around her, but then she also had to awkwardly try to act normal as if she still had no clue.  Because she was terrified of actually having a conversation about it.  Even though she wasn’t entirely sure there was anything to have a conversation about in the first place.

 _Gotta stop being weird._   Her eyes caught the warm, colorful lighting on the Christmas tree, and she turned back to Faith, handing her a glass.  “I never really told you how great these lights look.”  Faith and Joyce had handled the decorating, something Faith had been surprisingly giddy about. 

The other Slayer smiled back at her.  “Thanks B.  ‘Tis the season… whatever that means.”  She shrugged, and Buffy giggled just a little.  As confused as she felt about … well, **_everything_** , Buffy couldn’t pretend that Faith didn’t have this way of putting her at ease.  _Says the girl who is awkwardly standing beside the tree because she’s worried about sitting too close to the girl who probably doesn’t actually have feelings about her._ Fortunately, Joyce chose that moment to join them.

“Alright girls, I think now’s as good a time as any for a present or two, don’t you?”  Buffy smiled brightly, but she noticed that Faith wasn’t quite as enthusiastic.  She shot the brunette a quizzical glance. 

Faith stood, rubbing her arm awkwardly.  “Actually, Joyce, I kinda only got one present for each of you … if we open them tonight, I ain’t got anything for ya in the morning.”  Buffy could feel how intensely uncomfortable Faith was, and she felt terrible.  They tried to make Faith feel welcome and at home for the holidays, since Buffy was pretty sure she hadn’t had anything like this in years, if ever.  But Joyce might’ve gone a little overboard in getting her and Faith presents, overcompensating for that fact.  It hadn’t occurred to either of them that Faith might feel inadequate by the disproportionate amount of giving.

Thankfully, her mom knew just what to say.  “Dear, you don’t even have to worry about that.  We’re so happy to have you here, and all I ever need from you is to help keep my Buffy safe.  Don’t you worry about a thing.  I’ve got presents enough for everyone—I guess I get a little kick out of it.” 

Faith’s had been staring at her feet, but she looked up at Joyce tentatively.  “You didn’t have to… I really don’t deserve all this—”

“Faith, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but shut **_up_**.”  Her awkwardness forgotten, Buffy moved forward and put her arm around the other Slayer, even if their height differences made it just a little uncomfortable.  “You’re important to us.  You’re brave and resilient and thoughtful and strong, and you **_do_** deserve it.”  Faith couldn’t meet Buffy’s gaze, but her body language had improved dramatically.  “Plus,” Buffy added wryly, “I’m the only one who gets to argue with Mom.”  Joyce rolled her eyes but continued beaming at the Slayers.  Determined to move past the weird moment, Buffy released Faith and walked straight over to the tree.  “Me first,” she cooed in a voice of faux battiness. 

She could tell exactly which present was from Faith, since its wrapping didn’t match the rest of it.  As she reached for it, Faith took in a sharp breath, but Buffy ignored her.  “To B, from Faith,” Buffy read aloud, maintaining her bimbo blonde girl voice as she shot a coy look towards her mom, then Faith.  She settled down on her knees to pull open the wrapping, revealing a smallish rectangular box.  Whatever Buffy had expected from Faith, it wasn’t quite this.  _Did she get me … jewelry?_   It felt so out of place, based on what she knew about the fun-loving, rugged Boston girl.  But that’s definitely what the box looked like.

Buffy opened it slowly, playing up the moment.  Inside was a sterling silver bracelet, like a tiny metallic rope.  There was nothing flashy about it, but that’s what she loved about it.  It was solid and lovely and _woah, what is going on with it?_   As she traced a finger over it, the bracelet almost seemed to pulse with the slightest hint of energy or power.  She pulled it carefully out of the box, and only then, with the bracelet in her hands, did she finally lift her chin and meet Faith’s gaze.

The brunette was watching her cautiously, waiting to see how she reacted to the bracelet.  Buffy didn’t know if she’d ever seen Faith this nervous, and it was more than a little cute.  Buffy shot her a wide smile, trying to put her at ease.  It wasn’t hard, since she did actually love the bracelet.  Its simplicity meant it would go with just about anything, and it didn’t seem like something that would get in her way when she was fighting.  She was sure Faith had planned it that way.  But she was still curious about the energy she could feel thrumming ever so slightly along the bracelet’s length, so she raised an eyebrow at the other girl.

“I had Red pull some voodoo on it,” Faith explained, understanding exactly what Buffy’s expression had been asking.  “I was hoping she could do something cool where you got an extra life or something, like Super Mario, but she said that wasn’t a thing.  But it’s got a protective magic about it.  Apparently that means that when you’re wearing it you’re slightly more lucky than usual which—” Faith winced.  “Yeah, I get it, that’s totally lame.  But Willow promised it would be helpful, and keep you safe—”

Buffy interrupted Faith’s babbling by leaping up from the carpet and wrapping the other girl in a hearty embrace.  Faith hesitated for a second, then wrapped her arms around Buffy in turn.  They held each other for only a few moments, but Buffy could feel Faith smiling brightly.  She pulled away a little more slowly than she normally would’ve, and there was a brief, charged moment where their eyes locked—less than an inch of space between them—before Buffy pulled away and raised up to her feet again.

She felt super awkward again, but it didn’t stop her from murmuring a quick thanks.  Buffy didn’t really have words for what the gift meant to her.  Even in something as simple as a piece of jewelry, Faith was looking out for her.  Wanted nothing more than to keep her safe.  For a few intense moments, it felt like only she and Faith were there in the room, and Buffy didn’t know how to feel about that **_at all_**.  Then she noticed her mom again.

Joyce was watching them with tears in her eyes.  At first, Buffy wasn’t sure how to interpret that, but when her mom stood awkwardly, then rushed forward to wrap Faith in a tight hug of her own, she made her feelings rather clear.  “Thank you, Faith, you beautiful darling girl.”  She pulled away but kept her hands on Faith’s shoulders.  The other Slayer looked intensely unsure of how to handle the sheer amount of affection being shown her in the last minute.  “And you tell Willow I said thank you.  I don’t have words …”  Joyce choked back a sob.  “The life you girls live is so dangerous, and I know I’m not supposed to get all **_Mom_** about it, but I can’t help it.  I worry.  A lot.  Thank you for protecting my daughter.”

Faith shrugged, dealing with the overwhelming emotions of the moment in the only way she knew how.  “It’s no big, Mamma B.  Us Slayers gotta have each other’s back.  B’d do the same for me.”  _I would.  Absolutely._   But Faith’s turn of phrase reminded Buffy that she hadn’t brought Faith’s present downstairs.

“Faith.  Wait here.  I … your present is upstairs.  I’ll be right back.”  As she ran up the stairs, Buffy realized that she was still holding the bracelet in her hand.  She hadn’t put it on.  The realization halted her in her tracks on the second to last step.  She allowed herself to ignore everything else—all the problems and evil and emotions crashing against her all day—and just be alone in this moment.  Buffy slid the cool metallic cord along her right wrist, and as she closed the clasp, she could feel the faintest whiff of whatever mojo Willow put on it flow through her, like a soft breeze over her skin.  It fit perfectly.

As Buffy took the next step up and off of the stairs, her stomach flipped and seemed to fill with butterflies.  The gift was so thoughtful, and Buffy was so very not prepared to deal with the realization it brought her.  The resounding answer to all those confusing questions.  _No, not all of them.  Only the questions of how Faith feels about me._   Now in her room, Buffy opened her closet and dug out Faith’s present.  Because at least this was something she could focus on and do for Faith without having to address any more difficult or troubling feelings between the two of them.

Buffy rushed back downstairs, determined not to be left with confusing thoughts any longer.  Just before she turned around the corner at the bottom of the stairs, she called out, “Close your eyes!”  She hadn’t wrapped it, because who the hell knows how to gift wrap a battle ax?  Glancing around the corner to confirm that the two women waiting for her had complied with her request, she stepped forward into the room.  “Keep your eyes closed!”

Faith grinned a little at the second command, and Buffy couldn’t help but notice how much softer she looked than usual, her eyes closed and her body relaxed and in the moment.  The other Slayer was in comfy clothes, and her lips were soft and pale, absent of her usual dark lipstick.  It hit Buffy like a bolt of lightning in that moment that Faith was just a girl.  They both were.  But only in fleeting moments like this, the warm gooey glimpses of normalcy they were occasionally allowed between all the dark moments of horror that were the everyday of life as a Slayer.

_Whatever else there is between us, we share this, at the very least._

Buffy stopped just in front of Faith.  “Put out your hands, palms up.”  The other Slayer’s brow furrowed, but the hints of a grin played along the corners of her lips.  “B, you better not be fuckin’ with me.”

“Faith!  Language,” Joyce scolded, but Buffy could hear the lightness in her voice that betrayed how little she really cared about Faith’s dirty mouth. 

“My bad,” Faith apologized, only a hint of snark behind the words.  “Hit me with it, Blondie.”  Then she made a show of wincing, as if Buffy might literally hit her. 

Buffy couldn’t help but chuckle.  “Faith, do you ever turn it off?  Can we be serious here for a moment?” 

The answer was evidently no, since Faith’s only response was to pout and bounce her outstretched hands as if she were growing tired of holding them out.  And through it all, she kept her eyes tightly shut.  Buffy didn’t dwell on it.  She probably couldn’t if she had wanted to.  Instead, she simply placed the ax into those open palms and waited for Faith to react.

As her hands closed around the haft of the weapon, her eyelids fluttered open slowly and carefully, soft brown eyes widening just a little as she realized what she was holding.  Buffy immediately began explaining.  “I promise I’m not just lazily regifting, though I know it might seem that way.  Don’t be mad.  I … it reminds me of when we first met.  It was the darkest point in my entire life, and you found me.  You reached me.  You brought me back.  Showed me that I still had something to contribute to the world, and also that duty didn’t have to be this intense burden I’m forced to carry forever.  It can be fun.  And I don’t have to do it alone.”

Faith hadn’t said a word, and her face remained impassive as she eyed the weapon.  It was the battle ax with which she had fought her way out of the demon Nazi labor camp.  The one that Faith had so pointedly admired.  Buffy had polished and sharpened it to nearly brand-new quality.  And as Faith dragged a finger over the base of the metal head of the ax, she knew that the brunette had found the other addition to the weapon.  The inscription she had paid a very confused jeweler to engrave for her read ‘always got your back.’  The ax was more than an ax.  It was a reminder of the beginning of the (now increasingly mystifying) connection she shared with Faith, and moreover, a promise that Buffy made willingly. 

Buffy felt her chest tighten as she waited for Faith to give her some indication as to how she felt about the gift.  As she searched the other girl’s eyes, she wondered if she didn’t seem some tears forming there.  But before the moment of apparent vulnerability could even register with Buffy, Faith immediately snapped to action.  She spun the ax fluidly around in the air, tossing it back and forth between her hands to demonstrate her proficiency with it, then flipped it up with perfect accuracy, the blade passing within an inch of the ceiling, before catching it effortless and grinning proudly at Buffy.  As always, Faith remained a mystery to Buffy, but she seemed plenty happy with the present.

“This is wicked, B.  I’ll put it to good use, I promise.”  Buffy smiled back at the other Slayer, hiding the sudden twinge of disappointment that the gift hadn’t meant as much to Faith as she had hoped it would’ve.  Except that the way Faith’s eyes suddenly lingered on Buffy’s right wrist painted an entirely different story. _Why does everything have to be a game with her?  Why does she insist on the brave face?_   As much closeness as had developed between the Slayers since they met, Buffy still found herself wondering if she could ever really know the real Faith.

After the three of them moved on from the gifts, Joyce insisted on finishing the night out with more egg nog, a movie, and cuddles on the couch.  They’d argued over which movie for several minutes and eventually, the three of them settled on _It’s a Wonderful Life_.  Unfortunately, Buffy felt no more sure of things as she settled into the comfy cushions of the couch, Joyce on one side and Faith on the other, than she had when she first got home.  

But, as she had in the moment on the stairs with the bracelet, Buffy decided to let go of the swirling tempest of thoughts and concerns in her mind.  As George Bailey’s story got going, she leaned back and chose to live in the moment.  No questions about whether there was any deeper meaning to Faith’s thigh pressed against her own.  No guilt over how much her calling created fear and worry for Joyce.  Just three women and a nice moment of contented joy.

~~~~

As Faith snapped awake, she immediately surveyed her surroundings.  She was in her bed, in the guest room of the Summers house.  She was alone, and as far as she could tell, there was nothing amiss.  _What woke me up then?_  

She thought she heard something through the wall.  Her attention aroused, she threw off the covers and stepped down onto the floor.  She listened carefully, and then she was sure of it.  The muffled murmur of voices— ** _plural_** —were coming from Buffy’s room.  _What the fuck?_   She was out the door in an instant, moving silently down the hall, and she turned the knob to Buffy’s bedroom door and eased it just slightly open.  There were no lights on in the room, but there was a tall, broad body between the door and Buffy.  Faith recognized his voice immediately.

“I think you’re the one who’s confused.  I think you need to…”  Angel’s voice drifted off, and his head turned back and forth as if he was hearing voices.  In the slight bit of light coming through Buffy’s open window, Faith thought the girl’s face looked confused and afraid. 

He took another step toward her, blocking Faith’s view of Buffy again as the other Slayer’s voice pleaded softly, “Angel, how can I help you?”  Just as Faith moved to grab the vampire, to pull him away from Buffy, he stiffened.

His hands came to his head, and he shouted angrily, “Leave me alone!” before charging past her and throwing himself out the window.   Faith immediately stepped forward into the room to make sure Buffy was okay, but the blonde seemed frozen in place, staring in horror at the space where her ex had disappeared from view.

“B.”  Faith placed her hand on Buffy’s back, rubbing her gently between her shoulder blades.  The other girl didn’t move.  “Buffy.”  That did it.  It was like her body released, and she softened into Faith’s touch, turning and wrapping her arms around her.

“Faith, something’s wrong with him.”  Those green eyes were haunted.  She was looking at Faith now, but her attention was still on that damn window.  “He’s … it’s The First.”  Sounded like nonsense to Faith.

“Buffy, what the fuck is The First?”  Instead of answering her, Buffy started frantically throwing on clothes.  Faith stood back, watching her.  “B, what the fuck?”  She was dressed in less than a minute, and she pushed past Faith without another word.  _Fuck this._   Faith grabbed her arm.  “Buffy, talk to me.”

She yanked her arm away.  “Faith, I don’t have time for this!  Please, please--”  She stepped closer, and Faith could see the panic in her eyes.  “I just need you to stay with mom in case he comes back.”  Faith could tell right then and there that there was no reasoning with her right then. 

“Fine, B.  I’ll play watchdog.  I don’t really get it, though.”

Buffy’s eyes were wide, unseeing.  “I’ll explain later.  Everything.  I promise.”  Then she was gone.  Joyce met her at the top of the stairs, and they shared a concerned look. 

“I’m not playin’ watchdog.”  Joyce nodded.

“I know, honey.  Protect her.”  Faith went out Buffy’s window, hoping to catch sight of her before she disappeared after Angel.  She caught sight of that powder blue coat she threw on as she tore out of her bedroom, and just before slipping out of the house, Faith had a flash of inspiration.  She ducked back into the room and dug around in Buffy’s weapons trunk until she found the crossbow.  Not even bothering to put on any clothes beyond the thin shorts and tank top she’d fallen asleep in, Faith leapt down and off the roof and out into the night after Buffy.

~~~~

Faith picked up Buffy’s trail again about halfway to Giles’ apartment.  She kept her distance, not wanting to tip Buffy off to her presence.  Faith had one goal: protect Buffy.  Angel had been unstable, and Buffy seemed pretty damn unstable herself at this point.  Someone needed to keep a level head here.

Still, she found herself wishing that she’d had time to put on some real clothes.  It was unseasonably warm for Christmas, but in the early morning, that still meant there was a decent chill in the air.  Faith hadn’t even had time to grab a coat, and now she was huddled up on Giles’ front porch, trying her best not to shiver as she waited for Buffy to come back outside. 

Faith chanced a glance back into the window, and Buffy and Giles were still seated on the stairs.  She could only barely see Buffy’s feet.  She wished she could hear what they were talking about.  Because she’d skipped out on research time, Faith had no clue what the hell was going on with Angel or what his wack behavior had to do with the first thingie.  _That’s what you get for being all jealous and freaked out._       

Sensing movement in her periphery, Faith looked inside once more, then immediately ducked her head back and slunk around the corner of the building.  Buffy was up and talking animatedly.  Faith barely had to wait a minute before the other Slayer hurried out the front door and stole off into the night again.   Faith started to follow, but another shiver overtook her.  She hesitated, then turned and walked straight into the apartment.

Giles’ eyes widened as he took in her appearance.   Faith tried to play it off.  “’Sup, G.  Look, I ain’t got time to chat here.  Promised Joyce I’d have Buffy’s back tonight, but that meant I had to chase after her in my jammies.  Any chance you could spare a girl a coat, and tell me where she’s headed?”  He continued to look at her like a deer in headlights for another couple of seconds, then his face softened.

“Yes uh o-of course.”  He moved past her to the coat closet by the door and pulled out a long khaki trench.  “It may be a little big, but hopefully it should keep you warm.”

“All I need, G, thanks.  Now, where’s our girl headed?”

~~~~

When she arrived at the Christmas tree lot, the gate to the fence surrounding the place had already been kicked in.  Faith could hear Buffy nearby, and it sounded like she was hacking at something.  _B come all the way out here just to play lumberjack?_   Faith snuck closer, and she heard a crumbling sound just before she caught sight of Buffy again.  The blonde had been hacking away at a weak spot in then ground, apparently, and Faith watched as she hopped down into some sort of underground cavern.

Faith got right up to the edge of the hole in the ground, prepared to leap in after Buffy if it sounded like the other Slayer was in danger.  She could just barely hear Buffy’s voice as she quipped, “Alright, ten more minutes of chanting and then you guys have to go to bed.”  _What guys?_ She heard the sounds of a scuffle, but it was over almost as soon as it started.  There was a pause, then Buffy said defiantly, “You won’t get Angel.”

Faith could hear Buffy clearly, but there was no response.  At all.  _Who is she talking to?_   A good thirty seconds of silence passed, then Buffy called out in exasperation, “Alright, I **_get_** it.  You’re **_evil_**.  Do we have to chat about it all day?”  Faith felt a chill run down her spine.  Either Buffy had caught whatever madness was afflicting Angel, or she was talking to some evil that only she could hear.  Neither possibility filled Faith with a sense of confidence.

“No,” Buffy answered another seemingly unspoken taunt.  After another pause, she added, “Lemme guess.  Is it … evil?”  Despite her trademark quippiness, Buffy’s voice sounded shaken.  She was playing strong, but Faith could tell she was concerned.  Then she felt it—like a gust of wind came out of the hole, but it wasn’t so much a physical sensation as it was a spiritual feeling of existential dread.  There was definitely something down there with Buffy, even if it was hidden from Faith.

She didn’t have time to ponder that, because Buffy was hurrying back out of the hole.  Faith only barely had time to duck behind some trees, but fortunately for her, Buffy was so shaken by whatever she had seen down there that she wasn’t paying any attention to her surroundings at this point.  The blonde took off at a dead sprint the second she pulled herself out of the ground, and Faith had no choice but to follow, that feeling of dread growing stronger in her gut with every step.

They ran full speed without stopping for a breath for several minutes.  It took no more than ten before Buffy burst through the front doors of vamp mansion, frantically shouting Angel’s name.  Somehow, Buffy hardly even seemed winded.  _Guess she’s got the adrenaline working for her._   Faith followed her through the mansion then out the side door and into the nearby woods.  It was a short hike up the large hill behind the mansion, and Faith took up her watch in the bushes.

Buffy had finally caught up to her ex, who was pacing back and forth without any recognition of the two people who had joined him there.  Faith could tell from the way the sky was already starting to lighten slightly what the vampire had in mind.  Still, she held the crossbow ready to strike if necessary.

Buffy called out to him, and he glanced at her before turning out to face the town below him.  If Faith had to guess, he was facing east.  Buffy walked closer, but her steps were cautious and measured.  _Good, maybe B finally has her wits about her again._

Angel’s voice was slightly hoarse and sounded tortured, a weak and fragile thing.  “I bet half the kids down there are already awake.  Lying in their beds... sneaking downstairs... waiting for day.”  Buffy stopped at his side, facing him as she made her plea.

“Angel, please. I need for you to get inside.” Now she was breathing a little heavier, the harried sprint over here finally catching up to her.  “Th-there's only a few minutes left.”  Buffy had noticed it too, because of course she had.  He wouldn’t even look at her.

“I know,” he whispered.  “I can smell the sunrise long before it comes.”

Buffy took a step closer, voice tight with anxiety and emotion.  “I don't have time to explain this.  You just have to trust me.  That thing that was haunting you—”

“It wasn't haunting me.  It was showing me,” he corrected, turning to face her now. 

“Sh-showing you?”

“What I am.”

“Were,” Buffy protested.

“And ever shall be,” he added bitterly.  His face looked pained, matching the tortured quality of his voice.  There was a quaver in his tone, as if he could fall to pieces at any moment.  “I wanted to know why I was back.  Now I do.”  That last sentence sounded more sure, more steady, and he turned back to face the coming of the sun.

“You **_don’t_** know.”  Buffy was plenty confident herself, steel rising up in her voice to match the growing fear there.  “Some great evil takes credit for bringing you back and you buy it?  You just give up?”  She sounded derisive, but Faith could tell she said it with love and concern.

Angel’s response was harsh.  “I can't do it again, Buffy.  I can't become a killer.”

“Then fight it,” she demanded.

“It’s too hard.” Faith rolled her eyes.  _Fuck this mopey asshole.  Let him burn, B._   She was so over this soap opera.  But she’d made a promise to Joyce.

Buffy sounded increasingly desperate.  “Angel, please, you **_have_** to get inside.”

“It told me to kill you.  You were in the dream.  You know.  It told me to lose my soul in you and become a monster again.”  His words were heavy with guilt and the pain of having come close to doing something truly horrific.  Faith wondered if he finally understood the dangers now of staying close to Buffy, even without some evil ghoul haunting him.  This was always the danger, and it was why he needed to go away.

Buffy wasn’t getting it though.  “I know what it told you.  What does it matter?”  _Oblivious as always._

“Because I wanted to!” he shouted at her, admitting the dark truth that Faith had seen when she first opened Buffy’s bedroom door that night. Buffy shrank away from him just slightly.  “Because I want you so badly!  I want to take comfort in you, and I know it'll cost me my soul, and a part of me doesn't care.”  His voice grew weaker with each statement, and this was the moment when Faith learned that vampires were capable of tears.  Buffy had no response to that.  Angel shook his head plaintively as he continued to explain.  “Look, I'm weak.  I've never been anything else.  It's not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy.  It's the man.

Faith couldn’t really see Buffy’s face from her lookout spot, but she could hear the tears in the girl’s voice.  “You're weak.  Everybody is.  Everybody fails.   ** _Maybe_** this evil did bring you back, but if it did, it's because it **_needs_** you.  And that means that you can hurt it.”  Maybe that was true, but it still sounded pretty damn naïve to Faith.  But she couldn’t pretend that she didn’t know what this whole speech meant for Buffy.  What it revealed about where her heart really was.  Angel continued looking away from her, and Buffy fought that much harder. “Angel, you have the power to do real good, to make amends. But if you die now—” Buffy’s voice cracked, but she kept going, “—then all that you ever were was a monster.”

Buffy caught sight of the deep navy of the sky turning to a more lavender on the horizon, and her whole body grew more tense. “Angel, please, the sun is coming up!”

“Just go,” he ordered.

“I won’t!” she insisted, and he turned back to her, angry now.  Faith readied the crossbow again.

“What, do you think this is simple?  You think there's an easy answer?!” He sounded as unstable as ever.  “You can never understand what I've **_done_**!  Now go!”

“You are not staying here.” She grabbed his arm, and in doing so, stepped into Faith’s line of sight.  She didn’t have a clear shot at his chest anymore.  “I won't let you!”

“I said **_leave_**!” he roared, jerking his arm free.  Then she reared back and punched him, right in the face.  He reacted violently, shoving Buffy hard to the ground.  Faith had her shot now, and her finger pressed to the trigger without quite pulling all the way in.  But he was on Buffy faster than Faith could aim for his chest.  He crouched over her menacingly, grabbing her roughly and forcing her to face him again.  She fought him, screaming frantically “No!  No!” as she fought against his hands holding her firmly by the arms.  Faith was on her feet now, and if she got her shot, she was taking it.  If he made any further move to hurt Buffy, she’d shoot him right in the damn head and charge him.

Angel was practically whining now, his voice thick with self-loathing.  “Am I a thing worth saving, huh?”  He shook her. “Am I a righteous man?”  She was sobbing in his arms now.  “The world wants me gone!”

“What about me?” Based on the tearful, wretched tone of her voice, Buffy’s heart broke in that moment, and Faith’s heart broke only a moment after that.  “I love you **_so much_** ,” Buffy whispered, tearful and powerless.  In that moment, she was that same broken girl Faith had feebly tried to comfort back on that bench, her first night in Sunnydale.  “And I tried to make you go away...  I killed you and it didn't help.”  She shoved him off of her and tried to stand.  “And I **_hate_** it!  I hate that it's **_so_** hard ... and that you can hurt me **_so_** much.”  Buffy’s voice broke as a sob overtook her, and her entire being was so weighed down by the burden of her emotions that she couldn’t even stand up straight.  But she managed to gasp out the rest of her thought.  “I know **_everything_** that you did, because you did it to **_me_**.  Oh, god,” she whispered, horrified.  “I wish that I wished you dead.  I don't.  I **_can't_**.”

Faith crumpled back down to the ground.  She felt numb.  She’d been so wrong about everything, and yet so right.  _Buffy will always love him.  I can’t compete with this tragic love story bullshit._ All her fears had been justified, and in the confusing fugue of her fragile emotional state, part of her wanted to end this all right then.  Send a wooden crossbow bolt through his undead heart and be done with it, damn the consequences.  But she couldn’t do that to Buffy.  Even if she thought maybe the other Slayer would be better off.  There was a very good chance Buffy was going to need saving from herself before this was all over.  Faith knew it, but she couldn’t bring herself to do anything about it in that moment.  Not yet.

Angel stood to face his ex.  “Buffy, please. Just this once... let me be strong.”  Faith couldn’t see either of them very well at this point, her eyes clouded by the tears she could no longer fight off.  It was all she could do to stay quiet from where she watched.

”Strong is **_fighting_**!” Buffy insisted.  “It's hard, and it's **_painful_** , and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together.”  Even as she felt like her heart was in tatters, Faith couldn’t help but admire Buffy.  The girl could give a speech.  In another life, she might’ve been a hell of a general or something.  Nevertheless, Angel still wavered, and that was when Buffy turned bitter.  “But if you're too much of a coward for that, then **_burn_**.”  She spat the word out through gritted teeth.  “If I can't convince you that you belong in this world, then I don't know what can.  But do **_not_** expect me to watch.  And **_don't_** expect me to mourn for you, because…”  Her voice faded away, and at first, Faith didn’t know why.  Her vision was still cloudy, but as she wiped away her tears, she saw it.

 _Snow._   It was snowing.  Faith felt completely out of it, and she wasn’t exactly little miss weatherlady, but even she knew that it couldn’t have been colder than maybe fifty or fifty-five degrees outside right then.  Snow should’ve been impossible.  Not only that, but the horizon, which had previously offered a clear and cloudless view of the quickly approaching sunrise, was now completely darkened by a thick blanket of storm clouds.

The implications shook Faith to her core, and she fled from the scene without a second glance back at the doomed lovers.  Her heart pounded so hard it felt like it might burst from her already painfully tight chest.  She didn’t have a single thought as to where she was going; her body was on autopilot, and the only direction it felt compelled by was **_away_**.  She had to put as much distance as she could between the inevitable, undeniable cosmic truth she had been forced to confront in that moment.

Buffy and Angel shouldn’t be together.  There was no happy ending possible for them.  Doomed wasn’t so much a cliché insult to be thrown at them as it was a literal description of the impossible circumstances governing their interactions.  The love they felt for each other was overwhelming and overpowering in a way that neither of them seemed strong enough to resist, not for long.  Angel’s curse was now Buffy’s.  Neither of them could ever be happy, because any happiness they shared could only bring about another round of betrayal and murder.

 _This isn’t fair_.  Faith wanted to scream and rage and destroy things.  She couldn’t handle the sheer magnitude of the anguish and despair she felt coursing through her.  It didn’t matter how much good she did.  Or what hell she’d been through growing up.  Or that she had Buffy’s back, always.  It didn’t matter that for the first time, she had let herself start to fall in love with someone.  It didn’t matter that Buffy and Angel could never be happy.  It didn’t matter that Angel was an undead monster who housed a sociopathic predator within him, held in check only by the continuing presence of a cursed soul.  None of it mattered, apparently.  Faith would never have a place— _not **that** place anyway_ —in Buffy’s heart so long as Angel was around.

As much as Buffy had fought to escape the impossible situation, tonight had proven that escape was impossible.  That was what the snow signified.  The cold hard fact was that Buffy and Angel were doomed.  But that didn’t seem to bother the universe.  God or the Powers That Be, or whoever else was out there pulling the strings.  Because there was something else about Buffy and Angel that try as she might, Faith could never overcome.

**_Fate._ **


	11. Fruitless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gingerbread
> 
> (First of all, I want to thank everyone for the lovely comments on this story. The inspiration for this sort of came to me all at once and has been burning away at me ever since. I'm glad it's resonating with others as much as it has with me. 
> 
> Second, sorry if this chapter isn't quite to the quality of others--it's sort of an interlude, a transitional piece from the first part of the story to the second. This episode wasn't really a favourite of mine, but I wanted to use it to reorient the relationships between Buffy and Faith and Buffy and Angel in set up for the darker, angstier tone of the second half of this story. Buckle up, folks. Things are about to get real.)

Faith had been sitting in her car for ten or fifteen minutes before Willow came outside.  She guessed the redhead happened to look out at the street and notice her parked there.  When she’d driven over, Faith had fully intended to march right up to the door and knock, but once she parked, she just … froze.

It occurred to her that Willow might have family obligations or whatever … _is the day after Christmas still a thing for Hanukkah?_   Faith knew it was a multi-day holiday, but she wasn’t sure which days.  But she couldn’t quite bring herself to leave town without telling someone.  She’d almost told Joyce, but that was a whole can of worms she didn’t want to open.  She sure as fuck couldn’t tell Buffy.

Willow slid into the passenger seat, eying the packed bag in the backseat before closing the door behind her and facing Faith.  “Gee, she must’ve **_really_** hated that bracelet.”

Faith gaped at Willow, then burst into laughter.  She felt like a complete idiot, but she laughed until her sides hurt.  “Wow.  Thanks for that, Red.”  She wiped the tears from her eyes.  “Ain’t laughed that hard in … hell, I dunno if I’ve ever laughed that hard.  How fuckin’ sad is that?”  She didn’t know how she’d expected this conversation to go, but … not like this.

“Faith, seriously, what are you doing?”  Her eyes darted back and forth between Faith and the bag. 

“I know how it looks, but I’m not … I’ll be back, okay?”  _Probably._   “You talk to B at all yesterday?”

“Only a little,” Willow answered, slightly confused.  “She told me that the Angel stuff worked out, but nothing else… **_oh._** ”  Her face reddened just a little, but then she shook her head.  “Faith, no, I’m sure she isn’t—”

“Ain’t here for a pep talk, Red.  But trust me, I saw them.  And yeah, she **_is_**.  Either way, I gotta take off for a bit.  Clear my head.”

“B-but … you’ll be back?”  Faith grinned a little.  Crazy how their dynamic had changed in less than a week.  _Open up to a girl about likin’ other girls, and suddenly she doesn’t look at you like you’re a wild animal anymore.  Funny._

“That’s the plan.  Ain’t even got all my stuff here with me… just the bare essentials.  But—” she eyed Willow warily, unsure how receptive she’d be to the request Faith was about to make, “—could you, uh, tell B for me?”  Willow made a face.

“You didn’t tell her?”

“Can’t.”  That was all Faith would say about it, and even that felt like more than she really cared to admit to the witch. 

“Faith … I don’t know.  Where are you even going?”  Faith narrowed her eyes as she glanced over, aiming for intimidation without going overboard on it.

“Look, whatever, no skin off my back if she thinks I just up and left.  I’ll deal when I get back.”  She thought of that last image of Buffy and Angel, staring at each other as the miracle snow fell all around them.  (A little over a day later, and the snow had all melted away as if nothing had happened.)  “Hell, she might not even notice I’m gone,” Faith muttered, not really caring whether Willow heard her.

“I’ll tell her,” Willow whispered.  “Just that you needed to get away for awhile.  A-a-a walkabout!”  She sounded proud of herself for thinking of the term, but Faith could admit it was apt.  “And don’t worry, I won’t tell her about …”  Faith’s eyes hardened into a slight glare, and neither of them needed Willow to finish the statement. 

“Cool.  I gotta get goin’ now.  Sorry if I interrupted any fun Jewish celebratin’ or whatever.”

Willow gave her a funny look.  “Hanukkah’s over, silly.” 

“Oh.”  _Way to put your foot in your mouth, dumbass._   “Well… ‘kay.  Sorry.  I’ll just—”

“When are you gonna be back?”  Willow opened the car door, clearly able to take the hint, but she hadn’t moved to get out of the car yet.  Faith got the impression the witch wouldn’t do so until she got an answer.

“Can’t really say, Red.”  Honestly, Faith didn’t have a plan here.  She was going to hit the road, drive up the coast.  See what there was to see.  Probably drink a lot and kill some demony things along the way.  She’d come back when she had some idea how to handle her feelings for Buffy in a way that didn’t have her feeling like a weak fucking sap anymore.  But she had no idea how long that would take. 

The redhead glared at her petulantly, refusing to accept such a vague response.  Faith put up both hands defensively.  “Seriously, if I knew, I’d tell ya.  Days, weeks … however long it takes, **_okay_**?  I’m not really a planner, ya know?”  Faith hated how much pain she’d allowed to sneak into her voice there, and she refused to meet Willow’s gaze any longer.  Instead, she pointedly turned the car on.

“Take care of yourself, Faith.”  Willow stepped out of the car.  There was a pause, but Faith still wouldn’t look.  The car door shut, and then she was walking back towards her front door.

As Faith drove away, she muttered softly, “Thanks, Willow.”

~~~~

“What the heck is a walkabout?”  Buffy had spent most of Christmas day asleep, exhausted from the emotions of staying up into the early morning trying to convince Angel that the world was a better place with him in it.  Faith hadn’t really been around when she woke up, but Joyce said she was getting in a patrol.  Buffy left her to it while she caught up on the meals she had missed by sleeping in until dinnertime. 

But whether Faith had come home or not, Buffy didn’t see her that night either.  Now it was nearly lunchtime, Buffy hadn’t seen Faith in over a day, and she was starting to get worried.  So, of course, **_Willow_** , of all people, would be the one to call her and tell her where Faith had gone.

“It’s like … a journey … that person goes on … to kinda find themselves?  Or something?”  Willow’s voice was hesitant, and Buffy had the sneaking suspicion that she was hiding something.  None of this made any sense to Buffy.  Why would Faith just leave?  And why would she only tell Willow?  She didn’t even think Willow and Faith liked each other that much.

“So, what?  She just left?  Why didn’t she say anything?”

“I don’t know, Buffy.  Your guess is as good as mine.  She just said she needed to clear her head.”

“And why did she tell you?  Why sneak out without saying anything?”  Buffy got no immediate response, and her voice was just a tiny bit higher and tighter as she added, “Will, none of this makes any sense.”

“Sorry, Buffy, but I really don’t know anything.  You know Faith better than any of us…”  There were some noises in the background that Buffy couldn’t make out.  “Hey, I’m really sorry, but I’ve gotta go!  Oz just got here.”

“Okay…” Buffy muttered, but Willow was already gone.  _What the hell?_   Buffy felt like her head was spinning, and she hung up the phone and walked back to the living room in a daze.  She hadn’t even changed out of her yummy sushi pajamas yet, and already the day had completely gone to crap. 

~~~~

Things didn’t get any better once school resumed after the winter break.  Faith was still gone, and now Snyder had gotten all power hungry and authoritarian.  But that, apparently, wasn’t the worst part, not if she believed what he said about her mother.  While Buffy had been walking for probably close to an hour, her mind was no closer to peace or clarity than it had been when she left school.  She’d taken the long way home—one that took her through three different cemeteries—in the hopes that she would have time to process before she had to face Joyce.

Who was apparently the head of a fascist organization dead set on making the Slayer’s life as difficult as possible.  In the two days since the dead bodies of those two children were found in the park, Joyce Summers had gone from broken and distraught to somehow having the power to order Snyder and the police to search lockers and confiscate Giles’ occult collection.  Willow and her witch friend Amy—and their diminutive goth friend whose name Buffy couldn’t remember—were majorly wigging, and for good reason.  None of it made sense to Buffy, and the only part of it that sounded remotely like something her mom would do was the absurdly silly name given to this new group.

_Only Mom could put together an authoritarian group of concerned parents and think that ‘MOO’ would be appropriately intimidating._

But the Mothers Opposed to the Occult was only the latest in a long line of things that had been going increasingly wrong since Christmas Eve.  She’d only barely been able to save Angel’s life from the terrifying psychological attack waged on him by the First Evil, and then only with a save from … ** _something_** … out their in the universe that clearly wanted Angel alive.  Buffy and Angel had both known that snow was a miracle, and more than that, a sign.  He had a part to play in the fight against evil.  The problem was that saving his life had unearthed some things that Buffy had been fighting to keep buried for months.

Buffy was still in love with Angel.  And those feelings were no less powerful, no less insistent, than they had been a year ago.  Buffy’s heart seized in her chest.  Her birthday was in a week, meaning it had literally been almost exactly a year since the consummation of her love for Angel had torn her entire life apart.  Life felt no more solid now than it did then, even if her current trials and tribulations were much more existential now than they had been.  She was drowning in the uncertainty of what to do about Angel, and the one person who had been her rock of late had abandoned her without explanation.

After Angel had appeared in her room that night, nearly out of his mind, Buffy had been in such a panic that she could hardly remember seeing Faith.  The other Slayer had been there, in her room, and Buffy had told her to stay with Joyce in case Angel came back.  She knew that much, but she could hardly picture the scene in her head.  All she could see was that terrifyingly defeated look in Angel’s eyes.  The last interaction she’d had with Faith, and she couldn’t remember it.

 _What happened?_ While Buffy’s focus was on Angel, something had happened to Faith.  Something big enough that it drove her out of town.  Over two weeks later, and it still hurt that Faith had told Willow she was leaving but not Buffy.  One more thing she didn’t understand, like at all.  _Faith helps Willow get all dressed up like Dominatrix Barbie, and suddenly they’re best buds, keeping secrets from me?_ She felt the familiar surge of that confusing emotion she was determined to avoid.  Willow refused to tell her what was going on.  She insisted that she didn’t know why Faith had come to her or why Faith had left, and Buffy couldn’t pretend like the lie—and they both knew it was a lie—hadn’t driven a small wedge between Buffy and Willow. 

 _Why would Faith leave like that?  Why would she trust Willow and not me?  Why would Willow protect Faith’s secret from **me** , her best friend?  _And this was the worst part of the whole thing—Buffy was left with nothing but questions, and the more those questions spiraled away without answer, the more outrageous they became.  _Did Faith expect something to happen between us after we exchanged gifts?_ Buffy could vividly remember the warmth of Faith’s body cuddled against her as they watched _It’s a Wonderful Life_ with Joyce.  But there had been no signs, and surely she couldn’t have expected Buffy to just flip a switch and …  _Was it about Angel?_ That didn’t make sense to Buffy either—Faith had stayed home to protect Joyce, and she had left before Buffy could even tell her what happened.  The other Slayer was jealous of Angel—Buffy could see that now—but Joyce had confirmed that Faith stayed in the house that night.  _So that couldn’t be it either, unless Faith jumped to some pretty extreme conclusions._

Remembering the fierce determination set across Faith’s jaw and the wild look in her dark eyes as she moved to stake Angel during the confrontation over the Glove of Myhnegon, Buffy shuddered.  _Maybe she **did** jump to conclusions._   Faith’s passions were easily aroused, and as close as the girls had grown in the past months, she was still the least trusting person Buffy had ever known.  _That still didn’t give her the right to freak out and abandon me without explanation._

The anger poured out of her, and Buffy lashed out with her foot, breaking one of the stone benches clean in half with the force of her frustration.  Her eyes widened as she immediately shifted from rage to embarrassment, and she glanced around to be sure no one had seen her accidental destruction of public property. 

 _Dammit Faith._   Buffy had no one to talk to about any of this, and she was growing increasingly edgy and hostile as a result.  Hell, she could blame MOO on Faith too, if she tried hard enough.  Joyce had tried to bring her a snack on patrol that night, and the only reason Buffy could think of for the sudden interest in a hands-on experience of slaying was Joyce’s concern about Buffy doing it alone again. 

And now even Giles was being weird.  Ever since school had started back last week, he had been more withdrawn than usual.  He deflected when she tried to talk to him about Faith, which was beyond annoying since it had taken a lot of courage for her to even attempt such an awkward conversation.  He was even stiffer and more British than usual, almost like he had been when she’d first met him years ago.  And now he was insisting on some new training, focusing on the more obscure sides of her Slayer senses—weird stuff about crystals and energy and exactly the sort of occult nonsense that Joyce and MOO were currently throwing a fit about.

With everyone seemingly having lost their minds, Buffy felt like she was closer to Xander than anyone, and if that wasn’t a sign of how screwed up things were, Buffy didn’t know what was.  At least the vampires were still meeting Buffy’s expectations.  She’d already slayed two tonight, and as she slowed to peek around the crypt, she confirmed the presence of a third.  _Good._   One thing she was growing increasingly sure that Faith had been right about was that there were certain aspects of being the Slayer that were as simple as they were satisfying.  Killing monsters was a hell of a way to work out your frustrations.

When she finally walked through the front door of her home, Buffy was feeling no less lost, but she had at least found a measure of grim satisfaction, the dim high of the slay not having quite faded yet.  _Hope Mom made a big dinner._   As Buffy glanced over to the dining room, she quickly saw that she was going to be disappointed.  She wasn’t exactly sure how to process the complete transformation of that room, to be honest.

The dining room was now a … Buffy couldn’t think of a better term than command center.  Joyce was seated at the table in front of her laptop— _When did Mom get a laptop?  How much did that thing **cost**?!_ —surrounded by blown up posters depicting the tragically sad faces of the two murdered children and the words ‘NEVER AGAIN!’ in creepy red font that evoked blood against a black background.  There were whiteboards with statistics and what looked like protest signs, and there on the table beside her mom was a fax machine and an office phone, and a bunch of paper.  _Guess this is the headquarters of the infamous MOO._

“Mom, what the **_hell_** is all this?”

Joyce glanced up at her, but her eyes seemed distant.  “Oh, Buffy, you’re home.  Good.  We need to talk.”  Buffy’s brow furrowed, and her eyes narrowed in increasingly disbelief at her mother’s radical shift in demeanor.  “I don’t want you seeing that Willow anymore.  I’ve spoken to her mother.  I had no **_idea_** her forays into the occult had gone so far.”

Some small part of Buffy had hoped that Snyder was lying about Joyce’s involvement in all this.  Her heart sank a little as she saw that he was not.  She’d never seen her mother like this before, but Joyce’s sudden transformation from concerned parent to paranoid zealot felt right in line with the maddeningly topsy turvy nature of her life lately.  _Welcome to 1999_ , she thought wryly.  “It’s true then.  You’re the one who ordered the raid on the school today.”

Joyce smiled dismissively, shrugging as she explained, “Honey, they opened a few lockers.” 

“Lockers,” Buffy snapped.  “First syllable, ‘lock.’  They’re supposed to be private.”  That wasn’t even the worst of it, and Buffy was sure that Joyce knew that.  “And they took all of Giles’ books away.”

“He'll get most of them back.  MOO just wants to weed out the offensive material.  Everything else will be returned to Mr. Giles soon.”  Joyce’s face was bright and cheery, her voice dripping with sweetness that Buffy couldn’t believe was genuine.

Buffy kept trying to reason with her.  “If we're gonna solve this, we need those books now.”

“Sweetie, those books have no place in a public school library.”  Joyce expression shifted as she dropped the sunny façade in favor of open condescension.  “Especially now.  Any student can waltz in there and get all sorts of ideas.”  Joyce stood and came around the table to face Buffy.  “Do you understand how that terrifies me?”

Something was very off here.  Buffy felt like she was arguing with a brick wall, but she could also remember how broken Joyce had seemed when they found the bodies of those children.  She made one last attempt at empathy.  “Mom, I hate that these people scared you so much.  And I-I know that you're just trying to help, but you have to let me handle this.  It's what I do.”

That’s when Joyce pulled the rug out from under her.  “But is it really?  I mean, you patrol, you slay.  Evil pops up; you undo it.  A-a-and that's **_great_**!”  Her tone made it clear that it really wasn’t that great.  “But is Sunnydale getting any better?  Are they running out of vampires?”

 _Three less, at least._   Buffy felt blindsided by Joyce’s words, like her mom had suddenly accessed all of Buffy’s deepest, darkest concerns and turned them on her.  She stuttered a half-hearted response.  “I don't think that you run out of—”

“It's not your fault.  You don't have a plan.  You just react to things.  I-i-it's bound to be kind of fruitless.”  _Fruitless._   The truth of Joyce’s words resonated in Buffy’s gut.  Because of the slaying, Buffy no longer fit into the world of the normal.  Friends, boyfriends, shopping, cheerleading—she’d left that life behind in favor of her calling.  But what good was she really doing?  She had literally died to stop the Master, and then her own boyfriend had nearly ended the world twice the next year.  There was always some new big bad lurking around the corner.

 _Fruitless._ Like her own futile attempts to find some modicum of happiness that was somehow compatible with her calling.  Angel was the only person who seemed to fit into that life with her, at least now that Faith was proving to be so flaky and unreliable, and the only thing she was absolutely sure about with Angel was that the two of them could **_never_** be happy together.  Ever since the snow, Buffy had begun to feel increasingly powerless in the face of fate or destiny or whatever—maybe she would never be anything more than the Slayer. 

And if that’s all she was, what difference was she really making?  She fought the good fight, but Joyce was right.  The vampires didn’t stop coming.  Now she knew that there was some all-powerful First Evil out there shaping events and meddling in lives for who could even guess what dark ends, and it wasn’t even something that Buffy could actually fight and defeat.  _What is the point?_

 _Whatever.  It doesn’t make what Mom is doing any less creepy._  Buffy reacted.  “Okay, maybe I don't have a plan.  Lord knows I don't have lapel buttons,” she spat, pointedly eying the absurd red ‘MOO’ button on her mother’s blouse.

“Buffy,” Joyce scolded.

But Buffy was done with this bullshit.  “You know, maybe next time that the world is getting sucked into hell, I won't be able to stop it because the Anti-Hell-Sucking Book **_isn't_** on the **_approved_** reading list!”  She glared at her mother, daring the older woman to challenge her further.

Instead, Joyce apologized, but Buffy wasn’t sure she believed it was sincere.  “I’m sorry. I didn't mean to put down—”

“Yes, you did!” Buffy shouted, then shook her head in exasperation.  _This conversation is almost as pointless as my calling_.   “It doesn't matter.  I have to go. I have to go on one of my **_pointless_** patrols and **_react_** to some vampires.  If that's alright with **_MOO_**.”  She turned and stalked back towards the door, but she couldn’t resist one last quip as she opened the door.  “And **_nice_** acronym, Mom.”

~~~~

Buffy wasn’t really sure how she’d found her way to the park.  Everything was sort of a haze since she stormed out of the house.  She felt every bit as lost as she had when she had first returned from LA, but now things felt somehow more hopeless.  She hadn’t been stopped by anyone, human or otherwise, so she guessed that her feet had avoided the cemeteries in their autonomous stroll away from the confrontation with her mother. 

The park was a gaudy memorial to the two dead children, covered in flowers and candles and far too many of the ‘Never Again’ signs that her mother had apparently spent all day getting printed.  Buffy’s head swam with a heady mix of confusion, fear, and genuine anger.  How can the universe go from giving her a literal miracle to turning the entire town against her in just over two weeks?  Her mom’s words pounded in her ears along with the unusually loud sound of her own heartbeat.  Not just the callous words about the pointlessness of her actions as the Slayer, but also the speech she’d made at city hall the previous night when she lumped slayers and witches in with the monsters and demons.  _Is that how she really sees me?_

Buffy shuddered against the chill of the night, wrapping her arms around herself tightly for warmth.  And that’s when she felt his presence nearby.  She and Angel exchanged soft greetings as he approached her slowly, then without giving it any thought, Buffy moved to pull him in close to her.  Despite the fact that he had no body heat to share, she felt nevertheless warmed slightly by the feeling of his arms around her.  She allowed herself a few moments to just enjoy the comfort of being held by him, without any of the nagging concerns about what that might mean for them.

Then she released him, slowly pulling back enough that they were no longer touching, even if they were still firmly in each other’s personal space.  Buffy turned her head up to look into his eyes, and there was nothing but concern and love waiting for her in those deep chocolate orbs.  “How are you?”

His eyes broke from her gaze for just a second, fully aware the question was more than simple chit chat.  Angel’s mental health was still very much a major concern for her.  “I'm alright,” he assured her, his voice soft but sure.  “I think I'm better than you right now.”

As they both glanced over at the candle-and-bouquet-covered carousel, Angel said, “I heard about this.  People are talking.  People are even talking to **_me_**.”

For the first time that night, Buffy felt like she was seeing the former crime scene with open eyes.  As horrific as it might seem, it was a rare night that Buffy didn’t visit one place or another that had been the sight of a gruesome murder.  That was simply life on the Hellmouth.  But it had never been like this.  Usually victims got a few lines in the newspaper, and probably a private ceremony of some sort.  This was something else entirely.  “It's strange,” she pondered.  “People die in Sunnydale all the time.  I've never seen **_anything_** like this.”

She couldn’t face the sight of it anymore, and she turned, ambling slowly towards the nearby park bench.  Angel followed.  “They were children.  Innocent.  It makes a difference.”  As they sat facing each other, Buffy’s brow furrowed.  That seemed like an oddly idealistic suggestion from Angel.  The murder of children was awful, but Buffy wasn’t sure a person’s age alone necessarily made them more or less innocent than anyone else.  Her mind leapt to the familiar face of the vampire she had dusted in her mom’s presence two nights ago.

“And Mr. Sanderson from the bank had it coming?” she asked wryly.  Angel didn’t respond, probably couldn’t.  Buffy tried not to think about how many innocents Angel had seen hurt or killed in his long, dark lifetime, breathing the ominous consideration out with a heavy, frustrated sigh.  “My mom... said some things to me about being the Slayer.”  She made a face, remembering the word she had used.  “That it's fruitless.”  She shook her head widely, trying for the tiniest bit of humor.  “No fruit for Buffy.”

Angel was quick to assure her that Joyce was wrong, but Buffy wasn’t so sure.  After all, it wasn’t the first time she’d had these thoughts.  It was just the first time someone outside of her own head had voiced the concept.  “Is Sunnydale any better than when I first came here?”  Angel started to argue again, but she placed a hand over his, silently asking him to let her continue.  “Okay, so I battle evil.  But I don't **_really_** win.  The bad keeps coming back and getting stronger.” 

For whatever reason, a story from this weird old book she used to read as a kid popped into her head.  A boy had tried to plug a hole in a dam with his finger, to keep his town from flooding.  But things didn’t work like that in real life—you plug one hole, and the pressure from the water simply opens three more.  She offered her scattered thoughts wistfully, wondering if Angel had heard the story.  “I feel like that kid in the story, the boy that stuck his finger in the dam.”

“Dike.”  Buffy’s eyes immediately met Angel’s, her face a sudden mask of confusion and outrage.  _Did he just call me a dyke?  Maybe he’s jealous of how close I had been getting to Faith, but_ —

Angel winced, sensing that his comment had not been well-received.  He grinned, just a little, then explained, “It’s another word for dam.  The story is supposedly based on Dutch folklore.”  Buffy’s eyes widened in recognition and genuine embarrassment, and she could feel the slight warmth of a blush on her cheeks.

Thankfully, though, Angel ignored her awkwardness.  “Buffy, you know, I'm still figuring things out.   There's a **_lot_** I don't understand.  But I do know it's important to keep fighting.”  He moved his hand out from under Buffy’s and interlaced their fingers before squeezing her hand softly.  “I learned that from you.”  There eyes met, and despite everything, Buffy so desperately wanted to believe that he was right about this.  She felt entirely different from the brash, self-assured girl who had shouted at Angel on that hilltop.  Maybe strong **_was_** fighting, but Buffy no longer felt all that sure of her own strength.

“But we never—”

“We never win,” Angel agreed, sensing her hesitation.

“Not completely,” she whispered.

“We never will.”  She met his gaze tentatively, and for whatever reason, he looked so confident in that moment.  Almost hopeful.  Buffy couldn’t believe how radically their roles had reversed in such short time.  “That's not why we fight.  We do it ‘cause there's things worth fighting for.”  He gestured to the carousel.  “Those kids.  Their parents.”

Buffy felt the metaphorical lightbulb flash to life above her head.  “Their parents,” she repeated.  _Why is it **my** mom leading the charge here, and not theirs?_

“Look, I know it's not much—”

Buffy caught him off, her mind racing with the implications of this realization.  “No.”  They locked eyes, and she smiled just a little.  “No, it's a lot.”  Their fingers were still interlaced loosely, and Buffy ran her thumb softly along the edge of his hand.  “I think I figured something out, and now I’ve gotta go talk to Giles.”  He nodded, understanding that it wasn’t his place to come with her.  Things were still extremely rocky between Giles and Angel.  “But thank you.”  She raised her other hand and, after a tiny hesitation, placed it on his cheek.  “You were here for me when I needed it, and you might be the reason we figure this thing out.”

She released him and stood.  “I’ll come see you soon, okay?’ 

He nodded, his features a mix of concern and probably a little confusion.  “Be careful, Buffy.”

“I will,” she promised, then they parted ways.  As she made her way to the school, her head was so much clearer than it had been only ten minutes ago.  She felt physically lighter, moving with purpose again.  She couldn’t pretend that she didn’t know the cause of that.

 _Angel._   He was her rock, as she had been his in his darkest moment of need.  Things felt like they had felt before he lost his soul, but they were both wiser now.  After all of this, Buffy finally felt like she could see clearly.  She’d been so lost this whole time, so desperate for someone who understood her, who could walk this path of destiny with her.  But that person had always been Angel.

 _What about Faith?_ came an insistent plea in the back of her mind.  Buffy scoffed at the thought.  _Faith isn’t here.  I’m as lost as ever, and things are weird with my best friend, my Watcher, and my mom.  And this is the moment she chose to walk away without any explanation._   Whatever feelings the other girl might have for her, and whatever connection the two shared, it was abundantly clear that she couldn’t depend on Faith.

But Angel …  For whatever complications their relationship entailed, Angel had never been unreliable.  He had more than proven that, when he was himself, he would always be there for her.  Up until that night when everything changed, he had been her partner, and now that he was back, even as she pushed him away and made things awkward, she knew that he would be there for her in a moment of need.  And she’d do the same for him.

There was more to think about, and none of it would ever be easy.  _Or happy_ , she forced herself to admit and accept.  But life with Angel would be dependable and comfortable.  Warm, but not hot.  And maybe that was the best she could hope for.  Maybe that was enough.

But that was something they could talk about after she figured out what the hell was going on with these bizarrely unnamed dead children.

~~~~

“I should’ve been there,” Angel’s voice was tight with the exertion of the moment as he pinned her to the floor, and Buffy smirked before using his distracted concern against him.  With her knees already up against his chest, it was a simple maneuver to kick out and toss him over her head. 

As she flipped herself up off the ground and back to her feet, she snarked, “Yeah, because unlike witches, angry mobs with torches aren’t any danger to vampires whatsoever.”  Then she made a point of eying the roaring fire in the fireplace and the no fewer than twenty candles spread out around the living area of Angel’s mansion.  She raised a playful eyebrow, and he simply shrugged. 

Rather than answer, he made a move forward, continuing their sparring.  He oversold his punch, and Buffy ducked under it before turning to block the next attempt.  When Angel fell back into a slightly more defensive position, she pressed the advantage, launching a high crescent kick that he just barely ducked under.  However, while Angel might be a stronger and overall more experienced fighter, Buffy knew how to play to her strengths, in this case agility and speed.  She continued her rapid spin as she ducked lower to the floor and extended her other leg, knocking Angel off his feet.  The next instant she was straddling him, shouting “Gotcha!” as she brought the tip of a nearby baguette down like a stake against his chest.

“Ugh!  Right in the heart,” he teased, a gleeful spark dancing in his eyes.  While his chest was still, hers was moving rapidly, breath heavy and heart pounding both from the exertion and the excitement of being this close to him.

“Satisfied?” she asked, immediately regretting her choice of words as the joy drained out of his face a little.

“Not sure that’s the word—”  Buffy pushed herself off of him, embarrassed and frustrated with herself.  She’d come here hoping to have a serious conversation with him about their relationship, and instead, she teased him into a sparring match as she recounted the literal witch hunt that the town had devolved into because of the Hansel and Gretel demon.  Buffy didn’t know what else to call it, since they hadn’t had access to Giles’ books.  The thing had been masquerading as the ghosts of the dead kids, who were literally the kids the fairy tale was based on, and manipulating the town into killing the ‘bad girl’ witches, which apparently also included the Slayer. 

Willow, Buffy, and Amy had been tied up to large stakes in the parking lot outside city hall, and books from MOO’s new restricted list were used as kindling by the angry mob to burn them alive.  Poor Amy had turned herself into a rat in her attempt to escape, and a last-minute rescue attempt by Cordelia and Giles had saved them.  Buffy couldn’t help but wonder how much her bracelet had helped.  It sure felt like the fire at her feet was much less aggressive than Willow’s, and it was kind of silly how the demon had just run straight into the sharpened head of the stake she was tied to, impaling itself through the neck just as she brought the hefty chunk of wood down to face it.  She ran a finger over the cool metal, again wondering where Faith was right then. 

 _Nope nope nope, don’t go there.  Especially not right now._   She turned her attention back to Angel.  “I didn’t mean ‘satisfied’ like…”  Her voice trailed off, not even able to mention the only truly faux pas topic between them.

“No, I-I wasn’t trying to…”  He was holding the baguette awkwardly in his hands, and his face looked exactly as confused and nervous as her chest felt.

“Cuz we’re not having **_satisfaction_** … in the, uh, **_personal_** sense.”  _Wow, could you have phrased that any more gawkily?_  

“Of course not.”  He wouldn’t meet her gaze and turned back to the cute picnic she had brought along with her.  _Crap, I can’t do any of this right._   She followed him over, and they both sat down on the floor.  The silence stretched out between them, and she wondered if he could tell what was on her mind.  “Hey uh… am I gonna see you, uh, for your birthday?”  She brightened a little at that.  _He remembered._   “I mean … you-you probably have plans, right?”

Buffy giggled and waited for him to meet her gaze again.  “You know, I **_do_** happen to have a thing.”  She searched his eyes, waiting for a reaction. 

Angel tried to play it cool, but completely failed to do so in the most adorable way.  “Oh, a thing.”  His eyes darted around before coming back to her.  “A date?”

She smirked again.  “Nice attempt at casual.”  Vampires didn’t blush, but if they could have, Buffy imagined Angel would have in that moment.  Now she couldn’t stop grinning, and she shuffled a little closer to him.  “Actually, I do have a date.”  She didn’t bother to hide the mischievous tone in her voice.  “Older man.   Very handsome.  He likes it when I call him 'Daddy'.”  Internally, she felt pretty dumb saying that last thing, but she was going for the whole confident flirty vibe, channeling her inner Faith. 

As he realized what she was saying, Angel got this goofy look on his face, followed by a warm smile.  “Oh.  Your father.”  Then he frowned, the briefest hint of concern in his eyes.  “It is your father, right?”

Her grin widened, and now her face hurt a little.  Buffy nodded.  “He's coming into town to take me to the ice show.”  Angel knew what her dad meant to her, and he knew about her silly love for the ice capades and all things figure skating.  One more reason why she was feeling better about what she had come here to discuss.  _He knows me, and he accepts me.  He **loves** me._   “It should be big fun.  I could use a little fun after the last few weeks.”

Angel continued watching her as she popped a grape into her mouth.  She swallowed it before deciding to just be brave.  “But as for your question, I think I can definitely carve out some birthday fun time—” her eyes shied away from him out of habit, but she forced herself to look at him as she added, tentatively, “—with my boyfriend?”

His eyes widened—not by much, but enough that she could tell he was surprised.  Whether that was because of the question itself or simply the boldness with which she had asked, Buffy wasn’t sure.  She refused to look away from him, though.  She needed him to know she was serious.

“Buffy …  we can’t.”  He said it tentatively.  His response wasn’t a firm no, wasn’t based out of genuine conviction.  He said it like he thought it was what he was supposed to say.  _That’s fine._  Buffy expected that she might have to do some convincing. 

She moved closer and put a hand to his cheek.  “Angel, I know.  We both do.  We … happiness isn’t in the cards for us.  Either of us.  But it doesn’t mean we can’t be together.  I’m the Slayer; you’re a vampire with a soul.  You get me in a way no one else does, and if there’s one thing I am **_absolutely_** sure of, it is that I love you.  And you love me.  And we will always be here for each other, for as long as we can be.”

To his credit, Angel didn’t ever break the gaze they were sharing.  As such, she could see the concern in his eyes, along with the guilt.  _He doesn’t want to drag me down in his curse, but he **does** love me.  He **wants** to be with me._   “Hey.  No.  I **_want_** this.  I want you.  **_Us._ **  I’m not the naïve girl I was a year ago, and we’ve both been through so much since then.”  Her thumb moved softly against the faint scruff along his jaw.  “Angel, I know you’re still struggling with everything.  And I know you’re not sure where you fit, what your purpose is.  But I see it now.  Your place is here.  By my side.  Fighting the good fight.”

His hand came to cover hers, pulling it from his cheek as he moved to kiss it softly.  “Buffy.  I know.”  Their fingers tangled again.  “I know my place is by your side.  That’s why I came to Sunnydale.  I don’t know if that’s why I was pulled back from hell, but I’m not ruling it out.  But … yeah, I know.  For now at least, I belong at your side, fighting the good fight.”

“But?” she asked, beating him to the word.

“But this—” he pulled their entwined hands into the air between them, “—we know this can’t work.”

“I know we can’t have sex.”  Buffy grimaced, not having meant to just blurt it out like that.  She tensed a little, but Angel held onto her hand, and his touch grounded her.  “But **_love_** , we can do that.”  She leaned in, moving quickly and without hesitation to touch her lips to his.  Softly, and just for a moment.  Then she pulled away, searching his eyes.  He was with her, she could see that.  “Happiness isn’t something that is available for people like us.  And yeah, we’ve gotta be careful.  But … I feel safe in your arms.  That is what I want.”

His face was still fairly expressionless, which … wasn’t unusual for Angel.  But she could sense a shift in his body language.  She just needed him to open up about it.  “Angel, what do **_you_** want?”

He was never one to lie to her, and he wasn’t going to start now.  But that didn’t make it any less confusing when he admitted that he wasn’t sure what he wanted.  “I don’t … you deserve better than me, Buffy.”

“This isn’t about deserve, Angel.”  She needed to drive this point home.  She closed the rest of the distance between them, leaning into him and searching his eyes with less than an inch of space between their lips.  “What do you **_want_**?” 

His eyes darted back and forth between hers, and she could see what he wanted, even if he was afraid to say it.  So, she followed her instincts, and she kissed him.  It was tentative at first, but then he moved against her, his mouth opening to hers.  His strong arms wrapped around her and pulled her tight.  Her tongue glided in against the inside of his lower lip, along his teeth, and then she found his tongue with hers. 

His body was firm against hers, and the both of them were careful in this kiss.  Their love could no longer be a passionate one, but that didn’t make it any less solid.  Any less real.  Buffy smiled against Angel’s lips, and then he pulled back enough to finally answer her question.

“I want you.”


	12. Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helpless

_How do they all live this way?_   She glanced across the table at Oz and Xander, who didn’t seem at all weighed down by their fragile bodies or dulled senses.  _Did it always feel like this?_ Buffy couldn’t remember life before.  It had only been a couple of years, but she couldn’t remember what her body used to feel like before she was the Slayer.  But she knew she had never been so vividly aware of feeling this painfully weak.

She hadn’t noticed it until she got dizzy the night before.  The symptoms of whatever was afflicting her nearly cost her her life in what should’ve been a simple, routine fight against a lone vampire.  But now she couldn’t ignore it for more than a second.  She ached at the lack of it.  _It’s like I’m not even **me**_ **.** Buffy felt like she was slightly numb, like someone had turned the contrast dial back on her life, leaving everything a little less vivid than it should’ve been.  Things that she could normally lift easily suddenly weighed her down, and every movement, every exertion seemed to cost her more energy than she expected it to. 

“Ah hah!”  Willow exclaimed beside her.  “A curse on Slayers.”  For a brief moment, relief washed through Buffy’s body.  Willow had a solution.  This was a problem with a solution.  “Oh, no.  Wait.”  _Or not._   Willow looked at her apologetically, almost wincing as Buffy’s face fell.  “I-it’s **_lawyers_**.”

“You know, maybe we're on the wrong track with the whole spell/cursing/whammy thing.  Maybe what we should be looking for is something like, um—” Xander’s eyes widened, an idea coming to him, “—Slayer kryptonite!”  Buffy groaned internally.

“Faulty metaphor. Kryptonite kills,” Oz corrected, as if that was anywhere close to the actual point.

“You're assuming I meant the green kryptonite. I was referring, of course, to the red kryptonite, which drains Superman of his powers.”  Their back-and-forth led Buffy’s mind to wander, and she thought of the comic books she’d seen in Faith’s room, tucked away just under the bed where Faith thought they wouldn’t be noticed.  The other Slayer was always hiding, afraid to be seen.  Buffy couldn’t fathom why the girl would want to cover up such endearing little things like a love of comic books. 

“Wrong.  The gold kryptonite's the power-sucker.  The red kryptonite mutates Superman into some sort of weird—”

Buffy could almost just imagine an alternate universe in which Faith wasn’t so withdrawn, and hadn’t just up and abandoned her, and was sitting on the edge of the table, smirking as she took a break from debating which glowing space rocks had what bizarre effects on which superhero to direct a coy wink in Buffy’s direction.  The thought physically pained her, and Buffy snapped.  “Guys?!  Reality?”

She closed the book in her lap and dropped it onto the table in frustration, and again she couldn’t help but notice the tiniest bit of extra heaviness in her arm as she did so.  Buffy stood, blowing out a heavy breath.  Willow was close on her heels.  “Buffy?”  She stopped and faced the redhead.  Things were still a little weird between them, thanks to the open and unanswered question of where Faith had gone and why she’d told Willow instead of Buffy.  But since sharing a literal trial by fire together, they were healing.  Willow’s eyes were soft as they searched Buffy’s, her expression trying to convey the strength that Buffy no longer felt.  “I know you are **_definitely_** , without a doubt, gonna get your powers back.” 

Buffy’s brow furrowed a little, but her friend’s insistence was at least a little reassuring.  She turned to keep walking, but Willow quickly followed up her confidence with a concerned question.  “But what if you don’t?”  The witch made a face like she knew it was the last thing Buffy wanted to hear, and she was right about that.

She shrugged, trying not to show any of the intense fear and anxiety that was gripping at her insides.  “Okay…”  Buffy so didn’t want to consider this possibility.  “If I don’t get my powers, back … then, I don’t?  I’ll deal.”  _No you won’t._   Internally, Buffy was floundering.  She was well aware of the fact that normal wasn’t a thing that worked for her anymore, and she was fairly sure she’d never be able to fit back into that world again.  Not with the things she’d seen, the things she had done.  But she didn’t know how to explain that to Willow, so she tried her best to put on a brave face.  “And there’s a whole lotta good sides to it.”

Willow started to respond, but Buffy wasn’t paying attention anymore.  Her eyes were drawn to the doors of the library, through which Giles had just walked.  Interrupting Willow, Buffy moved to meet Giles as he walked toward his office.  “Did you find anything?”  She didn’t have the energy to hide the hope in her voice, the sheer need for a solution to this problem.

Unfortunately, Giles was every bit as dismissive and cold as he had been since school had started back.  “Uh, no.”  He wouldn’t meet her eyes.  “Not yet.”  Then he turned and walked into his office.  She glared daggers at his back.  She couldn’t shake the feeling that something had turned in Giles, that she had lost the kind-hearted Watcher she had grown to think of as a father figure.

He had grown increasingly withdrawn in the past weeks, but the last few days had been unbearable.  Giles felt like he was subtly pushing her away.  His focus continued to be solely on her training, and he had completely ignored her blatant hints that she wanted him to go with her to the ice show.  It was a birthday tradition she shared with her father, but he had abandoned her this year, not even bothering to tell her himself.  He’d taken the cowardly way out, sending the tickets with flowers and a letter and depending on Joyce to handle Buffy’s emotions.  It had been disappointing, but she was used to being disappointed by Hank Summers.  Neglect was a new look on Giles, though.

It had all come to a head earlier in the day.  Cordelia was being threatened by an entitled macho asshole, and Buffy had rushed to defend her, only to find that she had no strength with which to stand up to the much larger boy.  Between the dizzy spells, the sudden inability to throw knives with any kind of accuracy, and now the complete loss of her Slayer strength, Buffy knew then that something was terrifyingly wrong with her.  She had rushed to find Giles, who again completely dismissed her concerns.  And worse, he made it very clear that he saw her as nothing more than a weak girl.

She wasn’t sure it would’ve hurt her more if he had stabbed her in the gut.  And then he just walked away like it was nothing.  _Screw all of this._   Buffy packed up her things and bolted from the library, ignoring the confused pleas behind after her by Willow and Xander.

Thinking on the failings of her father figures, Buffy’s mind again drifted to Faith.  She wondered what the other Slayer’s relationship was like with her father.  Was he dead, like her mother?  Faith went out of her way to avoid the question of family, and Buffy hated how little she knew about the other girl.  She felt stupid.  For all her feelings that they’d had such a profound connection, that they’d grown so close in such short time, Buffy knew next to nothing about Faith. 

 _I don’t even know when her birthday is._   A single tear escaped Buffy’s eye, and she wiped it angrily from her face.  The girl didn’t deserve her tears.  _Where **are** you, Faith? _ For all her rage about feeling abandoned, Buffy couldn’t stop her idiot brain from imagining how much fun it would’ve been for the two Slayers to go to the ice show together.  Faith might genuinely have enjoyed it, even if she tried to pretend she thought it was dumb.  _Dammit._

Buffy managed to convince herself that she was fine by the time she made it to Angel’s mansion.  At least one man in her life was determined not to let her down.  He met her in the garden with a warm embrace and a tender kiss.  She savored a long moment in his arms, face buried against his firm chest.  The complete lack of a heartbeat there still caught her a little off guard, not quite used to it yet.  But his familiar scent instantly put her more at ease.

“Buffy, is everything okay?”  _Almost nothing is._   But she didn’t want to drag him down with her.  She was determined to have at least a few happy birthday moments with her boyfriend.  So, instead of answering him, she pushed herself back up onto her toes and kissed him again, trying her best to convey all the love and appreciation she felt for the one solid person in her life.

They walked inside, hand-in-hand, and she smiled at the familiar warmth of the candle-lit room.  Angel had laid out a blanket and many pillows and cushions for them in front of the fireplace, and it was an idyllic picture of a romantic evening.  She shot a quick smile at him, before settling down at his side.  He wrapped his arms around her again, and she leaned back into him.  She sighed, then hummed happily.  “I needed this.”

She didn’t have to look into his eyes to sense the question in Angel’s silence.  But he asked it anyway.  “And what’s that?  Cuddles?  A roaring fireplace?”  His voice was playful in her ear, drawing a soft smile to her lips.  She leaned her head back against him, closing her eyes and allowing herself to just exist, comfortable in the arms of her boyfriend.

“These are all good things, but I meant just … being here.  In your arms.  Comfy and safe.”  She tried to keep the anxiety from her voice, but Angel had a way of seeing through her.  Still, if he recognized the turmoil inside of her, his response was not to pry, but rather to simply be there for her.  That was something she loved about him.  Angel rarely pushed her or challenged her—his role was always support, and he was excellent at it.  That wasn’t to say he couldn’t contribute a pointed comment or an insightful dig when she needed it, but he expressed his love for her by always being a sounding board.  Buffy knew that if she felt as though she might fall apart, she could rely on Angel to catch her.

He pulled one of his arms away, reaching behind him.  “Happy birthday, Buffy.”  He slid a rectangular package into her arms.  She unwrapped it delicately, but the shape and weight of it led her to guess it was a book of some sort.  And she was right about that.  It was a very Angel sort of gift.  A fancy, leather-bound book.  The dark brown leather felt nice under her fingertips as she traced along the faded gold inscription of the title, _Sonnets from the Portuguese._   She cracked it open, flipping to the title page, on which Angel had written a single word, ‘Always,’ in gorgeous, perfect calligraphy.  She turned her head slightly so that he could see her smile.

“I know it isn’t a typical Buffy gift,” he explained.  “But I think you’ll like it.  This is a collection of sonnets written by a poet named Emily Barrett Browning.  She wrote them to her husband Robert before they were married, while he was courting her in secret because her family disapproved.  They were both poets, and they were drawn to each other because of their similarities.  She felt as though he understood her in a way no one else in her life could.”  _Sounds familiar_ , she thought.  “She felt embarrassed to publish such a personal set of love poems, and so she decided to pretend that they were translations of foreign poems she had fallen in love with.  It was his idea to call them ‘Sonnets from the Portuguese, because her favorite poet was Luís de Camões and because Robert’s pet name for Emily was My Little Portuguese.”

At that, Buffy made a face at him, her nose crinkling as her lips pursed at the absurdity of the moniker.  “Hey, don’t ask me.  It’s a little cute though, right?”  She shrugged but nodded slightly.  Buffy had heard worse pet names.   He slid his hands under hers, opening the book to one of the final pages.  _Sonnet 43_ , she read.  “Mind if I read this one for you?”  Her head was still turned sideways to rest against his chest, and she grinned at what a sappy romantic he could be sometimes.

“Please do,” she murmured.

His voice took on a melody she hadn’t quite realized it was capable of , and she thought maybe she heard notes of his original Irish accent mixed in, faintly, as he began the sonnet in a lyrical rhythm.  “How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.   I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight, for the ends of being and ideal grace.”  She closed her eyes, losing herself to the deep notes of his voice.  “I love thee to the level of every day’s most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.”  She grinned slightly, the soft yellow glow of the candles around them still visible through her closed eyelids.  “I love thee freely, as men strive for right; I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.   I love thee with the passion put to use in my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.”  His voice almost stumbled over this line, and she wondered at the hidden depths of its meaning.  “I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints.  I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.”

The final line seemed weighty.  Buffy had never known Angel when he was alive, and something—be it a god or some other power in the universe—had just recently shown them both that it chose to have Angel remain alive again, if not his body than his soul.  She didn’t know what to say.  Angel’s gift was so perfectly Angel, and so full of meaning and passion and warmth.  But her thoughts couldn’t stay on the here and now, no matter how hard she tried.

All she could think about was how easily his strong arms could break her now conspicuously fragile form.  How nothing about her felt quite right, even in this moment of comfort.  But she had to try, at least, to let him know how much she appreciated him.  Buffy pulled away enough so that she could shift to her side a bit, then reached up a hand to his cheek as she faced him.  “Thank you.  That was beautiful.”

His eyes searched hers, and she felt guilty as she saw the recognition in his eyes, of her discomfort and inability to keep herself rooted in the moment they were sharing.  “You really like it?”

She frowned, unsure how to explain herself.  “Of course I do.  It’s sweet and thoughtful and … I’m sure this book’s full of neat words to learn and say like ‘wilt’ and ‘henceforth.’”  _I could have a lot of free time for poetry readings if I’m no longer the Slayer._  

Angel wasn’t buying it.  “Why’d you seem more excited last year when you got a severed arm in a box?”  She immediately grimaced.  _Why would he bring that up?_   It was shortly after he brought her that arm that they’d made love for the first and only time— _outside of a dream anyway_ —and that arm had been part of a big ole demon judge that a newly de-souled Angelus tried to unleash upon Buffy. 

She immediately deflected.  “I’m sorry.  It’s just that suddenly there’s this chance that my calling’s a wrong number, and … it’s just freaking me out a little.”  Angel’s eyes narrowed in confusion, and she realized she hadn’t even told him yet what was going on.  She pulled away slightly, and her eyes focused on her hands, which now fidgeted nervously in her lap.  “My Slayer powers are gone, and we don’t know why.”

“Oh.”

Buffy couldn’t meet his gaze, even if she could hear the worry in his voice.  “Angel, what if I have lost my power?  Like … for good?”

“You lived a long time without it.  You can do it again.”

“I guess.”  She decided to just be honest with him, and she lifted her head just enough to catch his eyes with hers.  “But what if I can't?  I've seen too much. I know what goes bump in the night.”  She shook her head.  “Not being able to fight it... What if I just hide under my bed, all scared and helpless?  Or what if I just become pathetic?  Hanging out at the old Slayer's home, talking people's ears off about my glory days, showing them Mr. Pointy, the stake I had bronzed.”

She’d had it bronzed after she’d finally let Angel go.  Mr. Pointy had been Kendra’s favorite stake, and she’d lent it to Buffy shortly before Drusilla had murdered her.  It was one of the few things she brought with her to LA after she sent Angel to hell, a constant reminder of the harsh costs of the Slayer’s battle against evil.  When she’d finally been able to see the whole ordeal with fresh eyes, and began to put it behind her, she’d wanted to do something to honor Kendra and her sacrifice.  Mr. Pointy was no longer an everyday weapon against the vampires—bronze wasn’t effective in the same way wood was, for whatever inane mystical reason.  Instead, it was a monument to the fierce life of a fellow warrior, and one that she would treasure and protect until the fight took her as well.

_Except now the fight might have left me behind.  And what does that mean for me if it did?  The Powers That Be clearly want Angel around, but what if **I’m** the one who doesn’t factor into their big plans?_

“Buffy, you could never be helpless or boring, not even if you tried.”  He grinned at her, going for playful and reassuring, but she eyed him warily.  He didn’t know anything about the pre-Slayer Buffy.  The bimbo cheerleader without a care in the world.

“Don’t be so sure.”  She stood and paced away from him.  “Before I was the Slayer, I was…”  She winced, unsure of how to convey the pathetic nature of her existence before her eyes opened to the true darkness and depths of the world around her.  “Well, I, I don't wanna say shallow, but... Let's say a certain person, who will remain nameless—we'll just call her **_Spordelia_** ,--looked like a classical philosopher next to me.”  He rolled his eyes at her, which was something Mr. Stoic and Broody almost never did, and _yeah, okay, maybe I’m not even capable of being that girl anymore_.  But still.  “Angel, if I'm not the Slayer, what do I do?  What do I have to offer?” 

She thought back on what she had told him just a few days ago, when she had suggested that they get back together.  They were two tragic figures, lone wolves drawn together by fate to fight the good fight side-by side.  But if she wasn’t … if she couldn’t …  If he had a destiny that she couldn’t share in, then what was the point?  She could barely even give voice to her fears, whispering, “Why would you like me?”

Angel hadn’t moved from his seat on the floor.  When he glanced up at her, she saw indecision in his eyes, but only briefly.  He shook it off, then told her, “I saw you before you became the Slayer.”  He said it softly, tentatively, as if he wasn’t sure how she would react to the knowledge that he was aware of her much earlier than he’d led her to believe. 

The revelation was a little shocking to her.  Obviously, he’d heard of her before he came to Sunnydale—he’d been honest about the fact that he came there looking for her, hoping to provide whatever help he could to the Slayer, in penance for his past transgressions as a vampire.  But he’d never … “What?” she asked, her eyes searching his for better answers.

“I watched you, and I saw you called.”  _He was there when Merrick first approached me outside Hemory?_  She didn’t know whether she should be creeped out that he had been there, in LA—who had put him on that path?  Why was he even there?  She also resisted the shudder at the thought of Angel seeing the stereotypical ditsy blonde she had been then.  _I was probably doing something idiotic, sucker in hand as I talked about boys._  

He continued, “It was a bright afternoon out in front of your school.  You walked down the steps... and... and I loved you.”  _What?!_

“Why?”  Buffy was pretty sure she didn’t believe in love at first sight, and she wasn’t sure Angel was the sort of person who did either.  Which meant that he was speaking in generalities now.  But what did he mean?

He shrugged, realizing that he wasn’t exactly the best storyteller.  “I could see your heart.”  His sentiment was genuine, even if she didn’t understand fully what he was trying to tell her.  He pushed off the ground, standing to face her.  “You held it before you for everyone to see.  And I worried that it would be bruised or torn.”  He continued walking towards her, and she understood him now.  Even if he was describing a different Buffy.  A more vulnerable Buffy.  A pre-Angelus Buffy.  “And more than anything in my life I wanted to keep it safe... to warm it with my own.” 

He wrapped her up in a tight embrace, and she gazed up at him for a long moment before leaning in to wrap her arms around him in turn.  “That's beautiful.” Then she smirked against his chest, the thought of their literal hearts actually like … physically nuzzling each other in some absurd gory mess.  “Or taken literally, **_incredibly_** gross.”

He tensed, and she could feel his grimace against the top of her head.  Then he chuckled wryly.  “Uh, yeah,” he agreed, voice caught between amusement and embarrassment.  “I was just thinking that, too.”

~~~~

As she walked across the street, she caught sight of two very skeevy-looking men, and immediately, she averted her gaze.  She felt like she was in LA all over again, and she hated this feeling.  The feeling of fear—the discomfort that came from knowing that if she was accosted on the street, she couldn’t simply stomp over to the guy and break his pinky.  She could probably deliver a pretty swift kick to the balls and run away, but she really wasn’t interested in a confrontation tonight.  She just wanted to walk home from her boyfriend’s place in peace on her birthday.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t in the cards.  One of the men called out, “Hey, sweet girl!” and rather than stop or acknowledge him in any way, she sped up her pace, determined to get around the corner without making any kind of eye contact.  “How much for a lap dance for me and my buddy?”  They laughed to themselves, as if her discomfort was a funny joke.  Buffy resisted the urge to pull out her stake and murder them.  She hated this feeling of powerlessness.

“Walk me home, Angel,” she muttered under her breath, voice sardonic and full of wrath.  “ ** _No_** , I'm **_fine_**.  I can take care of myself.”  Her fists tightened, focusing on her rage in an effort to refuse any room for fear in her heart.  _I may not have my strength right now, but I am still **The Slayer**_.

As she rounded the corner, she could faintly hear a masculine-sounding voice humming.  It was highly unnerving, especially once she turned and glanced around at her surroundings only to see no one nearby. 

“Hummers.  Big turnoff,” she quipped softly to herself.  “I like guys that can remember the lyrics.”  She turned to continue her walk home and ran straight into the large, terrifying form of an apparently quite sneaky vampire.  He was in full vamp face, not even bothering with the pretense of humanity.  His eyes locked onto her, yellow flashing in recognition, and he grabbed her.

His voice was a throaty bass, equal parts sinister and irreverent.  “You know, I "wish I could, but my mind just isn't what it used to be.” 

She flinched away from him, struggling against his hold.  “Let me go.”

He leered at her, sneering, “You didn't say please!”  She fought him off as hard as she could in her weakened state, and she screamed loudly, hoping to draw someone— ** _anyone_** —else’s attention.  Finally, she was able to gets her left arm loose, slipping out of her bright red coat and sprinting in the opposite direction as fast as she could.   Buffy continued shrieking at the top of her lungs for help as she ran, dodging back through an alley without daring to look back at her potential chasers.

She could see a fence coming up ahead of her, but she was past the point of turning around.  Vampires could be incredibly fast, and she couldn’t risk any movement that wasn’t forward.  She launched herself as hard as she could up the chain links, but she didn’t have the upper body strength to pull herself up and over.  As she slumped back down to the ground, she saw movement in her periphery, and her heart seized in her throat.  _I have to get out of here._   Buffy wasn’t sure she’d ever felt this terrified, and she’d been in this scenario enough times to know that without her power, she was already on the verge of death.  Noticing a space at the bottom of the fence, she darted through as quickly as she could, her breath ragged now.

That was when she felt the cold dead hand clawing at her, trying to catch her by the leg and pull her back through.  She kicked wildly as she continued to scurry forward, and she just barely got through the fence before propelling herself out into the street with an adrenaline-powered burst of speed.

“ ** _STOP_**!” she screamed at the oncoming headlights, waving her arms frantically in the air.  “Please, I need help!”  The asshole honked and swerved sharply to drive around her without stopping.  Buffy figured she had a better shot of surviving getting hit by a car than attacked by the vampire at this point, but if she couldn’t flag down the next set of headlights barreling towards her, it wouldn’t matter.  The vampire wasn’t far behind.

Fortunately, this one screeched nearly to a stop beside her, and as the door pushed open, she recognized Giles’ battered old Citroën.  “Get in!  Hurry!” he shouted, and she didn’t need to be told twice.  Unfortunately, the vampire—a different vampire, she now realized—caught up to her just as Giles peeled out, and she had to fight against him.  She flailed wildly, her arms no longer responding to her commands, as if the muscle memory of years of training were suddenly gone because the whatever mystical Slayer power no longer inhabited those muscles.  She finally got in a good shot to his face, dislodging him from the car, but she immediately yanked her arm back as she screeched in pain.  It felt like she had shattered her fist against a brick wall, and it was several seconds before she could see through the pain enough to reach out with her left hand and close the car door.

 _Shit shit shit shit shit._   Buffy couldn’t stop trembling, and she couldn’t face Giles either.  They drove in a tense silence, neither quite knowing what to say.  As the pain continued to throb and ache in her right arm, she wondered if it was broken.  She hadn’t felt pain like this in a long time, maybe ever.  _Why is this happening to me?_   Buffy was so caught up in her own pain and terror that she hardly even noticed the stiff tension in the air between the Slayer and her Watcher.  But not a word passed between them until they were back in the library.

They didn’t bother turning on all the lights, and the library remained fairly shadowy, illuminated by a couple of overhead lights and the tabletop lamps.  Buffy sat down numbly in one of the chairs, barely able to hold back tears as she nursed her injured arm.   She tested her hand and found that she could flex it comfortably, though it hurt like hell.  She didn’t think it was broken.  She was vaguely aware of Giles stiffly wrapping a pale blue blanket around her, before he walked away again.  He still wouldn’t look her in the eyes.

“Giles, **_please._**   Please, tell me what is going on.  I **_can’t_** do this.”  She fought to keep her voice as even as possible, refusing to let herself cry.  But she needed answers, and she needed them right then.  “When I hit him, it felt like my arm was broken, it hurt **_so_** much.  I can't be just a person.  I **_can't_** be—“ her voice threatened to break again, “— ** _helpless_** like that.  Giles, **_please_** , we have to figure out what's happening to me.”

Still refusing to look at her, Giles rummaged through his briefcase until he pulled out a long rectangular brown case.  He opened it with a heavy sigh and set it down in front of her.  Inside was a syringe and a vial of sickly yellow fluid.

Giles’ voice was as shaky as she’d ever heard it as he explained.  “It’s an organic compound ... of muscle relaxants and adrenal suppressers.”  She stared at the vial, her mind refusing to accept what she was hearing.  What Giles was **_admitting_** to.  “The effect is temporary.  You'll be yourself again in a few days.”

She reached out and touched the vial, tentatively.  Her hand shook violently, and she couldn’t do anything to steady it.  The glass was cold to the touch, and she flinched back away from it.  _He wouldn’t.  He couldn’t.  Do this … to **me**_ **.** “ ** _You_**?” was the only question she could manage to gasp out.

“It's a test, Buffy. The Cruciamentum is given to the Slayer once she ... uh, well, **_if_** she reaches her eighteenth birthday.”  Buffy’s eyes narrowed, and her chest tightened as she processed the meaning of his correction.  She knew better than anyone the risks of death that faced a young Slayer.  Giles voice continued somewhere beyond her field of vision, thin and shameful.  “The Slayer is disabled and then entrapped with a vampire foe whom she must defeat in order to pass the test.”  Her face hardened, as her heart broke, the full realization of the magnitude of Giles’ betrayal beginning to wash over her.  “The vampire you were to face ... has escaped.”  She was hardly listening to him now, fully aware that she’d already met this vampire—the sadistic hummer who’d taken her coat.  Her fist tightened around the wooden box, snapping it shut.  “His name is Zackary Kralik.  As a mortal, he murdered and tortured more than a dozen women before he was committed to an asylum for the criminally insane.  When a vamp—” 

Buffy erupted from her chair and threw the syringe box with all the force she could muster, straight at Giles’ head.  Thanks to Giles’ poison apparently still coursing through her veins, she didn’t even have the necessary aim to garner her the satisfaction of committing that small act of violence against him.  The box clattered harmlessly against the wall beside him.  She barely stifled a sob as his shocked eyes darted back at her.  “You bastard.  All this time, you saw what it was doing to me.”  The tears streaked down her face, and she was helpless to stop them now.  “ ** _All this time_** , and you didn't **_say_** a **_word_**!”

He finally looked her in the eyes, and immediately shrank from the fury he found there.  “I wanted to,” he protested weakly.

“Liar,” she accused, barely able to get the word out as her body threatened to break down, the sobs fighting to break free of her chest.  She felt like she might throw up.  Buffy had trusted this man with her life.  She couldn’t fathom the horror of what he was telling her now, and yet he continued to try to make up excuses for his actions.

“In matters of tradition and protocol, I must answer to the Council.”  Buffy grabbed at her head, fingers gripping hard against the edges of her hair as she struggled to process this.  “My role in this... was very specific. I was to administer the injections and to direct you to the old boardinghouse on Prescott Lane.”  Giles was a shell of himself, and that more than anything told Buffy that he knew **_exactly_** how much of a monster he was in this moment, despite all the excuses.

She shook her head, sniffling hard against the tears coating her face.  She couldn’t look at him, and she could barely see her feet anymore through the haze of the tears.  “I can't... I **_can't_** hear this.”

“Buffy, please,” he begged, and she looked at him, pale green eyes hot and angry.  Her face contorted at the sheer dread and disgust that threatened to overwhelm her as she looked him in the face.

“Who **_are_** you?”  She lowered her hands, mind racing.  Had he been lying to her for years?  Manipulating her on behalf of the Council?  Pretending that he loved her?  “How could you do this to me?”  Her voice broke as a sob forced its way out of her chest and into her throat.

He moved toward her.   “I am deeply sorry, Buffy—” he reached out a hand towards her, “—and you have to understand—”

A devastatingly powerful sense of revulsion swept over her, and she flinched away from him.  Her body shook against the amount of rage pouring through her in that moment.  “If you **_touch_** me, I'll kill you.”  Now she was the one who couldn’t meet his gaze, largely because she wasn’t entirely sure the threat wasn’t genuine.

 _I have to get out of here.  I can’t do this anymore.  I can’t be **here** anymore._   She felt like a wild animal, trapped and desperate to escape.  Yet still Giles tried to explain.  “You have to listen to me.  Because I've told you this, the test is invalidated.  You will be safe now, I promise you.”  **_Safe_** _?_ Buffy wasn’t sure she could ever feel safe again.  Giles had a soul.  He was supposed to be her Watcher, her protector.  She had thought of him as something close to a father.  But he had lied to her, manipulated her, poisoned her, and tried to feed her to the lions.  Safe wasn’t a concept Buffy could wrap her head around in that moment.  “Now, whatever I have to do to deal with Kralik ... and to win back your trust—”

“You stuck a needle in me.”  Her eyes were wide with disbelief.  _Trust?_   She couldn’t believe he was so arrogant to believe that she could **_ever_** trust him again.  “You **_poisoned_** me!” she spat.  Then the doors to the library flipped open, as Cordelia entered the wrought scene.

“What's going on?”  Cordy took a good look at Buffy, brows furrowing.  “Oh god, is the world ending?”  She stood there, suddenly exasperated at the thought, completely oblivious to the tension between Buffy and Giles.  “I have to research a paper on Bosnia for tomorrow, but if the world's ending, I'm not gonna bother.”

If nothing else, Cordelia’s sudden presence had jarred Buffy enough that she refused to say another word to Giles.  She turned and started to walk out of the library.

He called after her, “You can't walk home alone, Buffy.  It isn't safe.”  _No shit._

She stopped, feeling both their eyes on her.  She could turn around, couldn’t face him again.  “I don't **_know_** you.”  If she had her Slayer strength in that moment, she was terrified of what she might’ve done with it.

Cordy, unfortunately, still wasn’t getting it.  “Did something take her memory?” she asked Giles, before turning back to Buffy.  “He's Giles.  Giiillles. He hangs out here a lot.”  She talked to Buffy as if she was a child, and the Slayer was now officially done with all of this.  Done with the library.  Done with Giles.  Done with the Council.  Maybe done with slaying all together.

 _I’m done._   She turned back towards the door, forcing the tears out of her voice long enough to calmly ask Cordelia for a ride home.  For the first time that night, the brunette seemed to understand what was happening, or at least, what Buffy needed from her.

“Of course,” she answered, without hesitation.  _Thank you._

~~~~

As Cordelia drove away, Buffy looked up to see the front door to her house wide open.  Her heart leapt into her throat for at least the fourth time that night, and she sprinted forward.  As she wrapped her fingers around the object taped to the side of the doorframe, her night escalated from life-shatteringly horrific to nightmare fuel.

Kralik had left her a Polaroid of her mother, terror written across her face as the vampire held her in place in front of him, a fist firmly wrapped around her neck.  On the back was one word, in all caps.  ‘COME.’  Buffy reacted, tossing the photo to the ground as she rushed up the stairs, any and all caution or reason gone from her mind.  If the Council wants me dead, fine.  But they aren’t fucking getting my mom.  She hesitated, just for a moment, outside of Faith’s room.  So much for having my back. 

Buffy continued into her room, changing out of her bloodied clothes and into a simple long sleeve shirt and overalls.  Then she loaded up a leather bag with weapons—a knife, several stakes, and her crossbow.  She slipped a bottle of holy water into the pocket of her overalls, then she grabbed the bag and stalked out the door.  An old boardinghouse on Prescott Lane.  That’s what Giles had said.  That’s where the psychotic vampire was holding her mother hostage.  That’s where, one way or another, this would all end.

The place was creepy as hell, straight out of a horror movie.  She pulled out her crossbow before she walked up the sidewalk and into the house, the bag held loosely in her left hand.  The abandoned boardinghouse was completely dark, and she dropped the bag to the floor just inside the doorway.  Keeping an eye on her surroundings and the crossbow pointed out, Buffy rummaged around for one of the stakes, using it as a doorstop to keep the door wide open.  She needed whatever ambient light from the street she could get.  She slid another stake into the pocket of her overalls, then began to explore the interior of the house, slowly and cautiously.  The crossbow was firmly grasped in both hands now.

It took a lot of energy to keep her arms from shaking, and Buffy could honestly say that she’d never felt this tense or terrified before.  She could barely see anything.  The house was all shadows and dark corners, potential evil around every corner.  There was a fire burning in the sitting room, which only added to the creep factor.  She moved cautiously forward to open the first door she came across, terrified that the vampire was lurking nearby, able to hear her heart pounding relentlessly in her chest.  She grasped the old, wrought iron doorknob and pulled forcefully, but whatever had been behind the door was completely walled off now—solid red-brown bricks were all that greeted her. 

And that’s when she heard the front door close and lock behind her.  She moved quickly back into the sitting room, crossing in front of the fire and trying to open the door again.  It wouldn’t budge.  The hairs on the back of Buffy’s neck stood on end, as she felt the distinct sense that she was being watched.  She heard a growl behind her, and she turned swiftly, firing the crossbow as she saw the vampire—not Kralik, but the other one—facing her.

Fuck.  Her aim hadn’t improved, and the bolt flew harmless over his shoulder as he charged forward to grab Buffy around the throat.  They scuffled briefly, and Buffy stepped hard on his foot, breaking free and rushing over to where she had left her bag.  He was rushing towards her before she could arm herself, though, and she ran away again.  Buffy reached the wall and grabbed the hefty floor to ceiling bookshelf against it, grunting at the exertion as she used all of her strength to push it forward and on top of the charging vampire. 

He was trapped under its weight, and she moved back towards her bag.  But he wasn’t done with her.  Buffy cried out in fear as the vampire grabbed her leg, his grip painfully tight.  She reached for anything she could get her hand on, the hefty iron tongs from near the fireplace, and she brought them down forcefully against the side of his head.  She continued to beat the metal instrument savagely against his skull until he released her and stopped moving, then she grabbed her bag and escaped the room as quickly as possible.

Buffy’s heart was racing, and she couldn’t see more than six inches in front of her.  The darkness clung to everything, and she still had no idea where Kralik was holding her mom.  Then she heard him.

“Hide and seeeeek,” came the haunting whisper, and Buffy immediately spun around, trying to find its source.  “Hide and seek!” he seethed again, but Buffy couldn’t see him anywhere.  In the far room, she could see a large wooden cupboard, but before she could raise the stake in her hand, it burst open.  Kralik’s impossibly strong hand was on her throat in an instant.  She nearly passed out from the sheer shock and terror coursing through her veins, and he yanked her bag from her limp hands.  “Why did you come to the dark of the woods?” he asked, as if that made any kind of sense at all.  He examined the contents of the bag.  “To bring all these sweets to grandmother’s house?”

The stake had dropped from her other hand already, but as he yanked her closer, Buffy was able to pull another object from her pocket.  He released her, stepping back and away from the small wooden cross, but his facial expression didn’t change.  He continued to sneer at her, as if completely in control of the situation.  He’s toying with me.  Buffy had to fight to keep her knees from shaking.

Then he grabbed her hand, pressing the cross through an open button in his shirt and holding it, sizzling, against the skin of his abdomen.  He chuckled, never breaking the stare he had fixated on her since bursting out of the cupboard.  The sadistic monster made it very clear that he got off on the pain she was causing him.  She recoiled in disgust, then sprinted in the opposite direction. 

Buffy found her way into the kitchen and locked the door behind her only to realize she was sharing the space with a rotting corpse.  Good riddance, she thought, assuming the dead man was a Watcher.  Kralik banged on the door, not even trying that hard to force his way in, and Buffy was just barely capable of pushing through her terror to begin searching the room for potential weapons.  Then the pounding on the door stopped, leaving Buffy in silence yet again.

The quiet was somehow more unnerving, and Buffy quickly snuck through a side door and out into the hallway again.  As she darted up the stairs, he caught her again from below them, an arm on her left pulling her roughly off her feet.  She struggled against him, grabbing at a wooden shard to use as a stake, but he was so strong.  Buffy managed to get away and ran up the stairs as fast as she could.  Her eyes couldn’t focus, and everything around her was hazy with fear. 

Throwing herself through the first unlocked door she could find, she turned on the overhead light to find the walls covered with Polaroid photos.  Joyce, tied to a chair in what looked like a basement, duct tape secured around her mouth.  The terror in her mom’s eyes was vivid, even in the grainy dim lighting of the photos.  Her heart continued to pound away even as her chest tightened with anxiety.  Oh god, I can’t breathe.  Then Kralik came crashing through the far wall, and Buffy again fled.

Their chase continued until finally he caught her in the hallway.  She could tell this was it.  This was the end.  He was too strong for her, and he now he was leaning in, fangs bared as he eyed her exposed neck.  “I won’t take it all,” he assured her softly, but in his deranged mindset, he couldn’t even be bothered to look at her.  She continued to fight against him, knowing it was futile but not caring.  I’m the Slayer, not matter what Giles did to me.  They can take my power, but they can’t take my will.

She shuddered at the feel of his breath against her neck, but then he pulled away, violently.  He grabbed at his head, shouting in pain and confusion, and while she tried to run past him, his entire body began to seize and shake, throwing her against the far wall.  He reached into his pocket and retrieved a pill bottle, but before he could open it, she moved swiftly forward and snatched it from his hand.  Buffy could see things clearly now.  He was insane before he was turned, and he was still dependent on those pills for any kind of mental clarity.  As he lunged after his medication, Buffy made her escape, finding her way to the laundry chute and flinging herself down it before he could stop her.

The chute took her right where she wanted to be: the basement.  And fortunately for her, there was a fragile table beneath the chute’s opening—it gave way beneath her, but it was more cushion than the hard concrete floor would’ve been.   Buffy immediately looked up, doing her best to ignore the sharp pain in her back and leg.  Joyce was there, just like in the photos.  Buffy scrambled forward and freed Joyce’s mouth before moving to work on the ropes binding her to the chair.

“Buffy, we have to get out—” her voice died in her throat as they heard Kralik’s feet pounding against the steps as he bounded down towards the basement.

“Where are they?  Where are they?!” he roared.  Buffy looked wildly around the room, and it was a simple object that gave her the idea that would save herself and her mom.  She gave up on freeing Joyce and moved forward as quickly as she could.  He couldn’t see her do this.  Buffy reached into her pocket and emptied the contents of the bottle into the nearby glass.

She just managed to hide the bottle back in her pocket before the raging psychotic vamp broke into the room.  He didn’t say another word, stumbling towards her and grabbing the pills from her hand as he shoved her back towards her mother.  He didn’t even think about it as he shoveled several of them back into his throat, then reached for the glass.   He gulped down the water to chase the pills, then he took several slow breaths, his frenzy calming as he waited for the medication to take effect.

His expression was almost pitying as he told her, “You don’t seem to understand your place in all of this.”  Guess he really didn’t like me stealing his pills.  “Do you have any idea—”  His words trailed off as his yellow eyes darted down at his gut.  Then he began to groan and shake violently. 

Buffy couldn’t conceal her glee as she pulled the empty bottle of holy water from her pocket, waving it just slightly for emphasis.  She was going to enjoy watching this sick fucker burn.  “No.  No,” he whimpered, any and all intimidation gone from his increasingly pathetic form.

She sneered at him.  “You know, if I was at full Slayer power, I’d be punning right about now.”  With one last hideous shriek, the holy water burned Kralik away from the inside, and his body dissolved into nothingness.  Buffy took a deep, calming breath, then turned back to her mom.  “It’s okay now.  You’re okay.  We’re going to be okay.”  Buffy wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince.  She dropped to her knees and tried to loosen the knots.  Her hands ached, and she couldn’t get them to budge.  “I can’t get these.  They’re too tight.”

“Can’t you just… rip them apart?”  _Oh_.  She meant Slayer strength.

Tears threatened to overtake her again, but Buffy swallowed hard.  “No,” she gasped.  “I can’t … not right now.”  She moved away, looking for a blade or something else sharp.  If she had to, she would go track down her back of weapons.  But then the other vampire lunged at her from the shadows.  She hadn’t even noticed him enter the room.

Buffy cringed.  Of course I beat the big bad psycho vamp and pass the test, only to have the lacky be the one who takes me out.  But then he turned from her, and she realized there was someone behind him.  It wasn’t until the vampire faded to dust around the extended stake that Buffy recognized Giles as the one who had just saved her life. 

They stared at each other, neither moving or saying anything.  He had come here, same as her, without any powers, and he had saved her life.  But she didn’t know if that was enough.  She didn’t know if there would ever be anything he could do that would be enough for her to forgive him for this.  “Get out,” she ordered, her voice soft but still very dangerous.  She was on the edge of uncontrollable violence now, and Slayer power or not, she really didn’t want to find out what she might be capable of.  Fortunately, he nodded and left without a word, but not before tossing Buffy’s knife at her feet so that she could free Joyce.

She grabbed the knife immediately, not wanting to watch her betrayer leave.  Instead, she did her best to flash some weak version of a smile at her mom and moved to cut her free.  “It’s okay, Mom.  We’re gonna get out of here.  It’s over.”

~~~~

Faith pulled up to the Summers house in the early morning hours, hoping to avoid any big conversation with either Summers woman until sometime later the next day.  She had returned to Sunnydale with a much clearer head, but it was still sure to be an awkward conversation, given how little information she’d provided before she got the fuck out of Dodge. 

However, she was about halfway up the stairs when she realized something was wrong.  The house was dark, but it wasn’t as quiet as it should’ve been at this hour.  Something was going on in Buffy’s room, and while she knew she should ignore it, slink off to her own bed and hope to delay any confrontation, Faith’s sense of curiosity was overpowering.  It wasn’t until she dropped her bag in the hallway and softly pushed open the door that she realized what she was walking into. 

Buffy’s bedroom was completely dark, save for the ambient light that flooded in from the street.  But her Slayer senses were more than enough to see that the blonde was sobbing quietly on her bed.  The fact that she hadn’t noticed Faith’s presence yet was worrisome.  Her Slayer hearing should’ve heard the door creaking open.  _Fuck.  What happened to her?_

Three weeks of distance weren’t enough to keep Faith’s heart from breaking instantly at the sight of a broken Buffy.  She moved swiftly into the room, and Buffy didn’t register her presence until she was nearly upon her.  The blonde’s eyes widened in shock, but she made no move to stop Faith as she slid in next to her on the bed and wrapped an arm around her.

Instead, Buffy sobbed that much harder, then turned her body and threw herself into Faith.  Her arms wrapped around Faith’s neck as hot tears flooded the fabric of her shirt.  Buffy held onto her with all of her strength, and that, more than anything, set off all of Faith’s alarm bells.  Buffy ought to be a lot stronger than this, especially given her emotional state.

Faith held the girl tightly but was careful not to hold her **_too_** tightly.  Any awkwardness or ill feelings between them were gone in that moment—maybe not forgotten, but definitely on hold.  Faith stroked the girl’s hair as she continued to sob uncontrollably, her strangely delicate body shaking from the force of her emotions.  “Shh, shh.  I’m here now.  I’ve got ya.”

She wanted to ask what the fuck was going on, but she wasn’t sure Buffy could string a coherent sentence together at this point.  Her first instinct was to wonder if Angel had hurt her again.  But that wouldn’t necessarily explain her lack of power.  There were no obvious answers for that readily available in her mind, so Faith just held Buffy and waited.  The blonde continued to shiver, and Faith rubbed her back as gently as she could.  Buffy had never, ever felt this fragile before.  _What the fuck happened?_

Patience had never been Faith’s strong suit, but deep down, she knew there was very little she wouldn’t do for Buffy.  She couldn’t pretend that, after three weeks, it didn’t feel wonderful to have the tiny blonde pressed against her again.  Faith knew that this went against everything she had resolved for herself before she came back, that she was opening herself back up to exactly the sort of pain and turmoil that had sent her packing after Christmas.  But … she could go back to distancing herself emotionally tomorrow.  Tonight, Buffy needed her.

Eventually, the other Slayer murmured something that sounded very much like “Giles” into Faith’s collarbone.  It was only because of her Slayer hearing that Faith caught the agony layered into Buffy’s voice. 

“B, it’s okay.  I’m here.  No one else is going to hurt you.”  On instinct, she ran a hand through Buffy’s hair, stroking it softly.  “What happened?”  Buffy pulled away a little but kept her arms wrapped tightly around Faith.  Her watery green eyes looked haunted, and only now could Faith see the extent of her injuries.  There was a huge gash across the right side of her forehead, and tell-tale bruising under her left eye.  Faith had to fight against the very loud urge in the back of her mind to murder whoever did this to Buffy. 

“It was a t-test.”  Her voice broke along that word.  “T-The Council— ** _Giles_** —poisoned me.  Stole my power.  They do it to every Slayer on her eighteenth birthday.”  Faith’s eyes widened.  She hadn’t even known it was Buffy’s birthday.  _Does that mean they’re comin’ for me in October?  Fuck if I let ‘em put me through this shit._   “But everything went wrong.  The psycho vampire they were gonna feed me to broke free and killed two Watchers, then he kidnapped my **_mom_**.”  She closed her eyes, fighting back another wave of tears.  “I-I managed to slay him, but it was a close thing, and the other vampire would’ve k-killed me, if not for Giles.”  Buffy didn’t say any more about that, but Faith had to guess that was the only reason Giles wasn’t dead already.  “But the Council f-fired him for helping me.  They’re sending a new Watcher.”

“Fuck that,” Faith insisted, placing a firm hand on each of Buffy’s shoulders.  “We’re done with them.  Whatever they did to you, it ain’t happenin’ again.  **_We’re_** the Slayers.  **_We_** have the power, and they’re just a bunch of fucked up old men.”  Faith hated herself in that moment.  _I should’ve been here.  I could’ve protected her.  What the fuck is wrong with me?_  

Buffy was crying again, and Faith didn’t know what to do.  What a person was supposed to do in these situations.  So, against all her usual instincts, she opened up.  “B … I’m sorry.”  Those haunted eyes immediately met hers again, confused.  “For leavin’.  I fucked up.  I shoulda been here.”  Buffy held her gaze, tears continuing to fall, and Faith had to fight against the heat building behind her own eyes.  She leaned in and pressed a firm kiss to Buffy’s forehead.  She couldn’t really say why she did it, but it just felt right in the moment.  And it gave her a long enough pause to get her emotions under control.

As she pulled away, Buffy’s eyes continued to linger on hers, and Faith felt her stomach flutter.  They hovered there for another moment, faces inches apart, the air charged between them.  But Faith wasn’t sure what sort of charge it was really, and she knew now was absolutely not the time to find out.

“Faith?” Buffy looked away finally, and another sob pushed through her.  “How could he do this to me?”  She sounded so weak and scared, in a way that Faith never could’ve imagined Buffy was capable of.  **_Giles_**.  White hot rage bubbled in her chest, seeping slowly into her limbs. 

“He’s a man, B.  They all are.  The Council.  Can’t trust ‘em.”  Faith couldn’t keep the spite out of her voice.  “They just wanna throw their power around; why do ya think it’s always teenage girls who get called to be Slayers?   We’re the most powerful human beings on the planet, but to Giles and the others, we’re just little girls for them to order around.  It’s all about control, B.  That’s why they pull this shit.  We’re strong enough to survive to adulthood, less control for them.  Can’t have us getting’ ideas about how we might not need them anymore.  So they strip of us of our power and feed us to a vamp.  You think they really expect us to survive?   What do they care?  Slayer dies, and another is called.  Hopefully a younger one, more easily manipulated.”

She squeezed Buffy’s shoulders again, and the other Slayer looked up.  “Fuck ‘em.  We ain’t gotta play their game, B.  There’s two of us, and I’m pretty sure that ain’t ever happened before.  Long as we got each other, we’re the ones with the power; not them.  I fucked up, but I’m back now.  Ain’t goin’ anywhere, okay?”  Buffy nodded feebly.  “But you look beat.  Gonna get outta here, letcha sleep.”  She let go and moved off of the bed.  But Buffy grabbed her by the wrist before she could walk out.

“Stay?” she whispered.  “Just until I fall asleep?”  Faith stiffened.  _Bad idea. **Bad** idea, Faith._  She slid in next to Buffy, who turned over and moved back against her.  _Always knew I’d be the big spoon.  What the fuck am I doing here?_  Her arm betrayed her, snaking out and around Buffy’s waist of its own accord.  _Shit._   Buffy continued to cry softly into her pillow, but slowly and surely, the blonde began to settle down. 

Faith couldn’t be sure how long it took, but she waited until Buffy’s breathing was steady and even before she finally pulled away.  The blonde had been through enough that day.  She deserved to rest.  But Faith had one last thing to do.

She stole back into the night as quietly as possible, but by the time she parked her car five minutes later, she was done with subtlety.  She reached into the backseat, grasping around in the dark until she found what she was looking for, then she stepped out into the cold air and slammed the car door loudly behind her.  The rage was building now.  It was probably three in the morning by then, but Faith didn’t bother knocking.  She reared back and kicked Giles’ front door open with all the force of a Slayer, then she stalked right inside.

Surprisingly, Giles was awake, and by the looks of it, probably drunk off his ass.  _Good.  Wallow in your guilt, you fucking asshole._   Faith's fist tightened around the object she had pulled from her car, the coat he had lent her when she ran after Buffy on Christmas Eve, and she threw it on the ground forcefully.  Faith was across the room in a heartbeat.  She seized the fancy liquor glass from his hand and tossed it forcefully to shatter across the room, then she grabbed Giles by the throat and shoved him against the nearest wall.

Faith got right in his face, and his eyes were glassy from the booze but widening with fear.  _That’s right, G.  I’m not your meek little Buffy.  Dealin’ with a different sort of Slayer now._   “How could you fuckin’ do that to her?!” she roared at him.  “She thinks of you like a father, and you helped those creepy fuckers assert their power over her!  **_Violate_** her!  Steal her **_power_**!”  She pounded the wall just beside his head with her left hand, leaving a massive hole.  She didn’t release any pressure from the hand around his throat.  It took all of her willpower to drive her fist through the wall instead of his face.

“This ritual nonsense is **_bullshit_**!  They were tryin’ to kill her.  I know it, and you fuckin’ know it, too, G.”  Her eyes flashed with the fury coursing through her, and she squeezed until his eyes bugged out with the pain of it.  Then she released him and paced away from him.  “Don’t fuckin’ say a word to me.  You and me are done.  The only reason you’re alive right now is that you saved her.”  She turned and glared, catching his eyes to be sure he understood that she wasn’t playing around.  “It would be so easy to kill you right here and now.”

“I bet B forgives you.  For some reason, she still loves you.  Maybe she’ll even be able to trust you again someday—she ain’t seen the shit I seen, so whatever.  Maybe she’s capable of that.  But I see you now.”  Faith stalked back over and threw him against the wall again.  “I’ll be watching.  Trust me, I’ll be watching.  You screw her over again, and I swear to god, I’ll do more than threaten.”  She pulled away again, shoving him forcefully into the ground. 

She stopped at the door.  “B is the best person I know.  She fuckin’ deserves better than the men in her life.”  She turned her head back just enough to catch his eyes one last time.  “So, fuckin’ be better.  Because you don’t want me to come back here.”


	13. One Moment Can Change Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad Girls

“Glad to see they cleaned up in here since last time.”  Sure, it’d been months, but there were no signs whatsoever of the battle that had raged inside and out of the Magic Box that night.  It looked like a nice normal super weird magic mumbo jumbo shop again.

Willow gave her a look.  “Last time?”   Faith flashed her a wide grin.

“Yeah, when Spike was in town.  B and Angel and me came along when he was gettin’ materials for whatever spell you were supposed to do, then we got attacked by a whole mess of vamps.  Place was a little worse for wear after that.”

“You Slayers and your vampire friends are nothing but trouble,” Willow scolded playfully.

“Hey now, talk to B.  Me and the vamps ain’t never gonna be friends.”  She picked up a wicked gross vial of tiny eyeballs, grimacing as she waved it in Willow’s face.  “Red, what are you even lookin’ for here?”

“Be **_careful_** with those, Faith Lehane.  Newts’ eyes are pricey.”  She plucked the vial from Faith’s grasp and set it back on the shelf.  “And I’m working on protection spells.  It was a really great idea you had there, Faith, for the bracelet.”  The witch smiled warmly at her, and Faith didn’t know what to do with the genuine praise.  The girl was starting to act annoyingly like they were actually friends, and Faith couldn’t quite bring herself to put an end to it.  “I’m playing with different ingredients and different recipes, tiny changes here and there to see what sort of magic I can accomplish.  What sort of protections I can invoke.  Just wanna do my part in the big ole fight against evil.”

Again, Faith didn’t know how to express the feelings she very much wanted to pretend she wasn’t having, so she just shrugged and rolled her eyes.  Willow’s response was to scold her further.

“Be a good girl, or I won’t let you come to the store with me anymore.”

Faith shook her head at the joke.  “You’re the one who asked for a ride.”

“Oh whatever.  You owe me for keeping your secret.”  She had a point there, Faith guessed.  “Speaking of… you never told anyone how your walkabout was.”  It was actually surprising the redhead had managed to wait this long.  She’d been back in town for nearly two weeks now, and they’d hung out a couple of times. 

“You know, whatever, it was the open road.  Fun, simple, no boundaries, no rules, and no complications.  You ever just fuckin’ get away from it all, Red?”  The look of wide-eyed wonder in the witch’s eyes was all the answer she needed.  “No, of course not.  You’re little miss valedictorian or whatever, right?”  She smirked, enjoying the slight blush on Willow’s cheeks.  “Anyway.  You should try it sometime.  Just get away from everything.  It’s freeing.”  She followed her along as she picked up a few other ingredients.  “I just drove, ya know?  Kinda like before I came to Sunnydale.  I worked my way up the coast, helpin’ people when they needed help and slayin’ a ton of vamps.  I saw San Fran, Sacramento, Portland, and Seattle.  And hey, now I’m back.”

Willow turned away from her interaction with the overly pleasant cashier to smile back at Faith.  “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m really glad you’re back, Faith.  It’s been a real pain in the ass having Buffy mad at me because you left without telling her.  Thanks for that, by the way.”

“Sorry, Red.”  Faith was actually a little embarrassed.  She hadn’t meant to make things harder on the witch.  She just … couldn’t face Buffy right then.

“Make it up to me by telling me how things are going with Buffy now.”  Faith shot Willow a passionate glare.

“We’re past that, Red.  That was the point.  I got … perspective or whatever.”  She put her arm around Willow, trying to play this as casually as possible.  “Me and B were never gonna work.  Not like that.  Pretty sure she’s with Angel anyway.  Not that I’m concerned with **_any_** of that.”

Willow started to ask another question, and Faith waved her off.  “Nope. Nuh uh.  Seriously, over it.  Ya know, I’m not exactly a one-woman chick anyway, and it was stupid of me to think that Buffy might want that from **_me_** , not with her giant angsty tragic love story goin’ on still.”  She sighed, hating how hard it was for her to keep her cool about this, even now.  “Whatever.  B and I are cool.  We’re great.  It’s fun and flirty, but it’ll never be more than that.  I see it now.  Can’t let myself go there again.  But now that I know that, things are great.  No more confused feelings.  No more mixed signals.  Just electric chemistry and wild slayin’.”

As she opened the door for Willow, Faith could only hope the witch believed that more than Faith did.

~~~~

Buffy almost didn’t go.  Willow couldn’t understand, in part because Buffy didn’t want to relive any of it again.  She couldn’t understand how deep the fracture between Slayer and (former) Watcher now went.  When she told Buffy that Giles wanted to see her in the library after school, the first thing Buffy did was to find a phone and call Faith.  The other Slayer’s promised presence was the only reason Buffy had decided to see what Giles wanted.

Which wasn’t to say she didn’t have an idea.  It’d been a couple of weeks, and Travers had promised a replacement for Giles.  As she walked through the doors of the library, the bland bespectacled man rifling through some books in a box on the table behind Giles confirmed her suspicions.  The two insufferable Brits were bickering when Buffy entered, and it took them a few seconds to register her presence.

Giles greeted her first, stiffly murmuring, “Hello, Buffy,” without meeting her gaze.  The new guy looked at her with a mix of enthusiasm and condescension, and Buffy could already tell that working with this guy was going to be a pain in her ass.  He moved around Giles and offered her his hand, smiling smugly.

“Hello.”  She stopped a good three feet away from him, eying him up and down.

Then she asked Giles, “New Watcher?”

“New Watcher,” he confirmed.  After several arguments, Buffy and Giles had reached a tenuous peace after the Cruciamentum.  He had betrayed her, but he had also realized his mistake, however late it had been, and he had saved her life.  She wasn’t ready to forgive him yet, and she might never trust him again, but she was willing to work with him still.  He had knowledge and access to information that she needed, and going forward, she was sure he wouldn’t get any ideas about fighting the authority she now felt sure she had over him. 

Giles was in the doghouse, and he knew it.  Meanwhile, the new guy was introducing himself as Wesley Windham-Price, which was just the most stupidly British name she’d ever heard.  She made no attempt to recognize his presence.  Buffy was pretty sure she was done with the Watcher’s Council, maybe forever.  Instead, she focused on Giles, waiting for him to finally look her in the eyes.

She could still read all the guilt and anguish there, as if it’d happened yesterday, and she took that as a good sign.  Buffy didn’t take any pleasure in Giles’ guilt, but he needed to understand how fundamentally he had destroyed their relationship.  She didn’t know how to heal that wound or bridge that gap.  So, she focused on the mission.  “Is he evil?” she asked, gesturing to Wesley.

“Evil?” Wesley asked, as if he was utterly perplexed as to why she would ask.  Buffy glanced at the doors before answering.  _Where is Faith?_

“The last one was evil.”  She meant Post, but really she wasn’t sure the term didn’t apply to each and every last one of these patriarchal assholes.

“Oh, uh, yes. Gwendolyn Post.  We all heard.  No, Mr. Giles has checked my credentials rather thoroughly and …” _blah blah blah._   He kept jabbering, but Buffy wasn’t listening.  Instead, she turned back to Giles and asked again.

“Is he evil?”

Giles answered with a wry, “No more than any of the rest of us,” and Buffy almost cracked the slightest smile.  Meanwhile, Wesley kept talking, eventually finding his way around to asking her about her patrol from the night before.  Faith still hadn’t showed up.  She was the better storyteller of the two of them.  Regardless, Buffy wasn’t about to open up to this stranger about how incredible slaying with Faith had been lately.

Buffy still had no idea why the other Slayer had left town, or what had brought her back, but she had been their for Buffy in her darkest moment.  And the two had been so perfectly in sync since then.  Maybe MOO would’ve had some questions about the efficacy of their work as Slayers, if the idiotic group still existed, but Buffy was pretty sure they had made a significant dent in the vampire population of late.

“Vampires,” was the terse answer she gave Wesley.

“Yes?”  His eyes shown with a hint of exasperation as he waited for her to elaborate.

“Killed ‘em,” Buffy explained.  Then she sighed, deciding to see what information she could get out of the Watchers.  “One of them had swords.”  The mention of swords set Wesley off, and he fluttered away to look for more information. 

“One long, one short?” he asked after a minute or two.

“Mmhmm.  Both pointy.  With like … jewels and things.”  As the two Watchers proceeded to explain to her that she was apparently dealing with an duelist cult of medieval vampires called ‘El Eliminati,’ it was all Buffy could do not to burst out laughing.  _That’s the dumbest name I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard some dumb ones.  Make the Order of Taraka sound almost stoic._

“They eventually became the acolytes of a demon called Balthazar, who brought them to the New World … specifically **_here_**.” 

“You seem to know a lot about them,” Giles pointed out.

“I didn’t get this job because of my looks,” Wesley snapped.

“I really, **_really_** believe that.”  Buffy didn’t care one bit for the snide look she got in response to her insult.  Wesley went on to explain that the order supposedly left Sunnydale a century ago, after Balthazar was killed.  “And they’re back cuz?”

“Balthazar had an amulet purported to give his body strength and vitality, even as his immense power whittled away at his physical form.  When he was killed it was taken by a wealthy landowner named—” Buffy yawned pointedly, “—well … I don’t want to bore you with the details.”

“A little bit late on that one, Wes.”  He glared at her, then explained that the vamps were probably looking for it for sentimental reasons.  Which sounded absurd to Buffy.  She hadn’t met a lot of vampires with sentiment, outside of Angel and the occasional weirdo like Spike.

“Buffy, tonight you will go to the Gleaves family crypt and fetch the amulet.”

“I will?” she asked, making sure Wesley could hear the threat in her voice.

His expression was troubled, but she couldn’t read him beyond that.  “Are you not used to being given orders?”

“Even if I were—” she crossed her arms, distancing herself from the Watchers and leaning up against the cage on the far wall, “—I sure as hell won’t be taking any from you.”  Anger blossomed along his facial features, but he kept himself mostly under control.  However, as he started to mutter something about getting off on the wrong foot, Faith finally entered the library.

The other Slayer’s walk was tense, like she was expecting a fight, and she was dressed to intimidate.  Heavy black combat boots, black leather pants, a dark sheer top over a black bra.  Her heavy dark denim jacket.  Even her lips were painted with her darkest shade of lipstick.  It was a look that Buffy could never hope to pull off, but it so worked for Faith.  On anyone else, Buffy might label it as sort of a goth look, but for Faith it was just … **_Faith_**.  The dark Slayer.  Buffy couldn’t even pretend that she didn’t enjoy their light and dark aesthetic, like yin and yang.  Two very different halves of the same Slayer whole.

“Ah, this is perhaps Faith,” Wesley said hopefully, clearly having no idea what he ought to expect from Faith.  The other Slayer immediately stopped and gave Wesley a critical look.  Then she turned to Buffy.

“New Watcher?” she asked.

“New Watcher,” Buffy and Giles confirmed in unison.

Faith smirked, but Buffy could see beyond that to the rage she kept just barely smothered.  “Screw that.”  She turned and strutted back out of the library without another word, and Buffy couldn’t help smiling.

“Screw it,” she muttered.  “I’m with her,” Buffy emphasized to the Watchers, and then she left too, not giving a crap what Wesley might think of her.  She caught up with Faith as the other Slayer reached the doors to the courtyard.  “So, the new guy’s a dork.”

“You’re not actually gonna take orders from him are you?” Faith’s voice was just a little higher than usual, like she was legitimately concerned.  They hadn’t talked much about the Watchers Council since the night she returned to Sunnydale, but Buffy knew they were mostly on the same page about breaking away from the group’s control.  Buffy suspected that Faith would very much like to kick all their scrawny British asses, but Buffy just wanted to put it all behind her.  Move on without them.  Except that they had all the information, all the knowledge about the things that go bump in the night that Buffy and Faith were duty-bound to fight.  Buffy felt like it was an impossible situation, and it hurt a little that Faith worried she might just return to the service of the men who had manipulated, poisoned, and nearly killed her.

“ ** _No_**.  But I still need to work with him.”  Buffy frowned, not loving the thought of it.  “What else can we do?”

“Whatever we want!” Faith’s hand gestured enthusiastically to emphasize her point.  “We’re Slayers, girlfriend, the Chosen Two.  Why should we let **_them_** take all the fun out of it?”

Buffy rolled her eyes.  She still wasn’t fully comfortable with Faith’s insistence that the violence of their calling could actually be enjoyable, and she definitely wasn’t ready for Faith to know that she felt it too sometimes.  So, she deflected with sarcasm.  “Oh, that would be **_tragic_** , taking the **_fun_** out of slaying … stabbing … beheading—”

Faith just grinned at her like she could see right through the act.  “Oh please, like you don’t dig it.”

“I don’t,” Buffy insisted, but she couldn’t look Faith in the eyes as she said it.

Faith was more than happy to call her out.  “You’re a liar.  I’ve **_seen_** you, B.  Tell me staking a vamp doesn’t get you a little bit juiced.”  _It so does, especially when Faith is nearby._   Buffy tried really hard not to let her eyes widen at that surprising thought.  “Come on,” Faith prodded, “Say it.” 

Buffy couldn’t control the awkward blush that spread across her cheeks and only just barely kept her smile in check.  In that moment, she **_hated_** how Faith could see through her.  How she could feel the raw energy Buffy experienced through their connection on the battlefield.  “See,” Faith cajoled, chuckling.  “You can’t fool me.  The look in your eyes right after a kill?  You just get hungry for more.”

 _Ugh, she’s not going to give up until I admit it.  Whatever, not giving her the satisfaction._  “You’re way off base.”

Faith moved just a little closer, and Buffy was suddenly very aware of all the students around them.  The other Slayer’s voice got a little throatier, a little huskier, as she dared Buffy, “Tell me that if youdon’t get in a good slayin’, after a while you're just itchin’ for some vamp to show up so you can give him a good—” Faith made an inappropriately sexy grunting sound as she made a staking motion right at Buffy’s chest, smirking at her the entire time.

“Again with the grunting,” Buffy scolded, refusing to give an inch.  “You realize I’m not comfortable with this.”  The two of them had developed a sort of playful faux antagonism since Faith returned to town, wherein Faith flirted and pushed Buffy’s buttons and Buffy tried to pretend that Faith had no influence over her whatsoever.  It was fun, and it seemed to work for them.  It also kept things from getting too close to **_whatever_** might have happened between them at Christmas. 

”Hey, slaying's what we were built for.  If you're not enjoying it, you're doing something wrong.”  Deep down, Buffy was beginning to believe Faith was right about that.  But again, she wasn’t about to admit it.  

“Come on, the dork gave me a lead on the swordy vampires.  We’ve got a crypt to rob.”  Buffy refused to acknowledge the electric thrill that shot down her spine at the lascivious grin Faith shot her at the words ‘crypt to rob,’ and as the two Slayers headed out into the rapidly darkening evening, Faith draped her arm casually over Buffy’s shoulder again, like always.

~~~~

“It was intense.  It was like I just ... let go and became this force.  I just didn't **_care_** anymore.”  Thinking of the fight she and Faith waged against those six Eliminati vamps, she could feel a hint of that same energy coursing through her, and the subtle heat of it settled in low in her gut.

“Yeah, I know what that's like—"

“I don't think you can!” Buffy interrupted, correcting Willow.  “It's kind of a Slayer thing.  I don't even think I'm explaining it well.”  She couldn’t find the words. 

“You're explaining it a lot, though,” Xander snarked, drawing a furrowed brow from Buffy.  _What’s his deal?  I **know** he doesn’t give a crap about this chemistry test._   It was also weird because Xander was usually so gung ho about the thrilling adventures of the two hot Slayers.  Maybe he was working on being less creepy, which was a good thing, but a little annoying in a moment when Buffy just wanted to gush more about her night with Faith.

Mrs. Taggart handed them all their tests, and Buffy briefly turned around to face forward again, leaving Willow and Xander and their weird looks behind her.  Mrs. Taggart droned on about how she had to leave the room for a few minutes, but they were on the honor system and strictly prohibited from talking.  _As if._

Buffy turned back to her friends.  “You see, the thing was, Faith knew I didn't even wanna go down there—”

“Ahem.  Ms. Summers?”  Buffy swiftly turned around and gave Mrs. Taggart the universal hand gesture for ‘I’m sealing my lips now.’  Then she waited patiently for the teacher to leave the room before turning back to Willow and Xander.

“Okay, so the best part—”  

“Buffy,” Willow interrupted, starting to sound annoyed.  “Test?  You know.   ** _Remember_**?  The thing you **_didn't_** come over to study for?”  _Oops._ Buffy winced just a little.  Things had gotten hairy on patrol, and once she and Faith had finally extricated themselves from the situation, any thoughts of studying had completely left Buffy’s consciousness.  They had to bring Balthazar’s amulet back to the Watchers, and then they had gone back out to find some more vampires.  But Buffy did feel bad about forgetting her plans with Willow.

Still, there was something else in Willow’s eyes.  More than just being mad about Buffy blowing off their study session.  She looked … worried almost.  Like she could see something that Buffy couldn’t.  Buffy shot her a puzzled expression but agreed to focus on the test. 

She got all of halfway through reading the first question, before she couldn’t resist the urge to finish her story.  She shot them both her most winning, apologetic smile as she turned back around.  She was almost finished; the tests could wait.  “Sorry.  Okay, so we're down there, in the sewers, and Faith's got three of them on her at once—”

This time Xander was the one to cut her off.  “Hey!  Whoa!  Can we resume Buffy's 'Ode to Faith' later, like when I'm not actively multiple-choicing?”  

That was when Buffy noticed it.  “How come your eye twitches every time I say Faith's name?”  There it was again.

“What?” he asked defensively, trying to laugh it off.  “No, it doesn't.”  She leaned in a little closer, raising an eyebrow in challenge.

“ ** _Faith_**.”  His eye twitched again, and he immediately slapped a hand over it.

“Cut it out!  We got a test to take, okay?  And I'm highly caffeinated, and I'm trying to concentrate.  Some of us actually care about school.  You know.”  Another excuse.  Xander was definitely not one of those people who actually care about school.  She glanced over at Willow to see if the redhead knew what was going on, but she was very pointedly ignoring them, eyes on her test.

That’s when Buffy remembered everything that had happened between Willow and Xander last semester, along with the fact that Faith had nearly kicked his ass.  _Oh that’s adorable.  Xander is scared of Faith._   Buffy could take a hint.  She wasn’t going to get to finish her story.  _Ugh, I didn’t even get to my killer quip about hating it when they drown me.  I’m so gonna fail this test anyway—why should I even bother?_

And that’s when, like a beautiful knight in dark denim armor, Faith popped into view in the nearby window, rapping on it to get Buffy’s attention.  She lifted the outward-opening pane open with ease, leaning in with a bright smile and a knowing look.  “Hey, girlfriend.  Bad time?”  Then, as if not sufficiently satisfied with the amount of distraction she had caused, she pulled back out and slid over to the adjacent window pane.  She breathed heavily on it, then drew a heart in the fogged-up area, swiping her finger expertly in a staking motion while wiggling her eyes suggestively at Buffy.

She hoped all eyes were on Faith right then, because Buffy couldn’t stop herself from blushing wildly.  _Stupid body._ It was the second time in two days that Faith had called her ‘girlfriend,’ and while she knew the other Slayer didn’t mean it like **_that_** , Buffy was frustrated by how much the term of endearment made her stomach flutter.

But this was exactly what she wanted.  Buffy wasn’t going to waste time thinking about what that meant.  _I just wanna get away from the chemistry test.  Faith’s got nothing to do with it._  She slid down from her lab stool and made a beeline for the window.

“Buffy!” Willow hissed.  “Faith!  Come on, don’t do this to her.”  Buffy had no idea what Willow was talking about, but Faith just shrugged at the redhead, smiling deviously.  “Buffy, y-you can’t!  Can you?”  Buffy turned back just enough to shoot her friend a playful wink.

“Sorry, Will.  Chemistry’ll have to wait.”  Then she climbed out the window, and Faith closed it softly behind her.  The taller Slayer slid her arm over Buffy’s shoulders as they walked briskly away from the school.  “What’s up?” Buffy asked.

“Vampires,” was the nonchalant response. 

Buffy’s eyebrows raised, and she glanced around at the sun shining brightly all around them. “Uh, Faith, unless there's a total eclipse in the next five minutes, it's daylight.”

“Good for us, bad for them.  Found a nest.”  The way she said ‘nest’ was almost gleeful, and it sent a spike of excitement through Buffy.

”Has potential.”

Faith drove them to the industrial district, and Buffy got a little uneasy as she gave the situation more thought.  “Faith, is this what you do during the day?  Faith glanced over at her, continued to chew on her gum as if she didn’t hear the concern in Buffy’s voice.  “Explore the city, looking for danger?”

“Sup, B?  You worried ‘bout little ole me?”  Buffy scoffed, knowing that Faith didn’t like big shows of emotion or people getting all protective over her.  “Nothin’ to worry ‘bout here.  I’m a big girl.  ‘Sides, you’re the one who nearly got herself drowned last night.”

“Whatever.”  Buffy rolled her eyes playfully.  “That never works on me anyway.”  Faith parked a couple blocks away from the nest, and as they approached on foot, all the tell-tale signs were there.  Run down looking street.  Windows painted over with dark spray paint.  She grinned at the other Slayer.  Faith had a hell of a nose for tracking vampires. 

Buffy thought briefly about how far they’d come as a team.  Nests could be extremely dangerous.  Yes, you had the advantage of daylight, but the vamps weren’t likely to jump into the light to fight you.  Worse, there was no way to figure out how many you might be facing until you got in there.  Sunlight or no, one Slayer wasn’t enough to dust more than five or six vampires on her own, unless they were extremely dumb or she was extremely lucky.  Before meeting Faith, Buffy never would’ve considered taking on a nest, even with backup.  But with Faith at her side, it was starting to feel like they could take on anything.  Buffy had grown as a Slayer the past few months, and that was Faith’s influence.  She could feel the instincts and impulses so much clearer now, and she was overall a bolder and more confident fighter.

They took up positions in front of the double doors at the front of the building, and on Buffy’s signal, they kicked through the painted glass simultaneously, leaping into the room.  A quick glance around the room revealed at least seven vampires, in various states of lounging or napping.  Only one of them was directly in front of the doors, and his arm immediately burst into flames under the harsh rays of the direct afternoon sunlight.  He was up and fleeing towards the shadows in a heartbeat, and the others moved to follow.  Buffy couldn’t help but feel a little satisfied at the fear in their body language.

“Rise and shine, people,” Faith snarked.

“It’s your wake-up call!” Buffy added, then the two Slayers pulled their stakes out.  With a shared grin, they charged into the shadows after their prey.

~~~~

The first two vamps went down like punks, neither of them fast enough to escape back into the dark recesses of the factory building.  A third, who had gotten a rude awakening by the sunlight they let in, lay in a smoldering heap of dust behind them.  Faith hadn’t realized how big this place was when she scoped it out.  She grinned over at the blonde to her right.  “You down for a little game of hide and seek?”

She appreciated the little smirk that formed along Buffy’s lips.  “You better be on your game, Faith.  We both count the one who burst into flames, but I’ve still got two vampires on you so far this week.”

“You’re fuckin’ on, Blondie.  Let’s catch us some vamps.”  The first room was cavernous and only dimly lit by flecks of sunlight here and there where the spray paint over the windows was thin or chipped.  Above them, there were three connected catwalks, and Faith spotted one of the vamps running along the right-most one.  “Shoulda brought the damn crossbow,” she growled, but Buffy was already climbing the steps nearby.  The catwalks converged on the far end of the room, at a door to some sort of second floor office space or something.  _Fine, B, you go after that one.  I’ve got the ground._

There were four, maybe five, vampires hiding in the abandoned bowels of this building.  None of them appeared to be in the main room in front of her, but there were two doors, one on either side of the room.  She took the left one and found herself in a dark hallway.  Faith could feel the Slayer energy pumping through her, dialing her senses to eleven as she stalked down the hallway carefully, stake at the ready. 

She could also feel the distant warmth of Buffy’s presence in the other room.  _Glad B is finally finding the fun._ The other Slayer had loosened up significantly since she opened her eyes to how fucked up the Watchers Council was.  They’d slowly become more and more of a wild and unstoppable team, especially in the last week or so.  Faith sensed some movement around the corner, and she took off after the suddenly loud sound of footsteps sprinting away from her.  The vampire was maybe fifteen feet ahead of her, running like his life depended on it.  Because it did.  Faith pushed herself a little harder after her quarry, gaining distance, and then, just before he could duck around another corner, she slid to a stop as she aimed and threw her stake.  It closed the remaining few feet of distance between them easily, puncturing the monster’s back before clattering to the floor as his corpse dissolved around it.

Rather than continue around the corner, Faith retrieved her stake and turned back to look through the rooms that opened into this hallway.  Each room was a one-off, opening only to the hallway.  They seemed mostly like storage rooms, with lots of empty shelves and discarded cardboard boxes here and there.  If vampires were hiding in any of them, they were extremely still.  Which wasn’t exactly typical behavior for vampires, even ones who were scared shitless of the two Slayers hunting them.  She pressed onward, room-by-room, then followed the bend of the hallway.

As Faith moved into the office area, she started to feel a tingle along the edges of her senses.  _Definitely a beastie in here somewhere_.  There were several desks and in the back, several long rows of cabinets that rose to just above Faith’s head.  She noticed a few doors along the side walls, two of which were clearly marked as restrooms.  _Good a place as any to start._   She glanced between the rows of cabinets just to be sure, then she ducked into the ladies’ room first.  Her feet moved softly, cat-like, and she could feel the anticipation building as she neared her prey.  _Definitely in here._ There were no feet visible in the stalls, so the vamp had to be hiding up on one of the toilets.

“Seriously.  I know you’re in here, you little shit.  Have a little courage and face me like the undead thing you are.”  Her taunt was met only with silence.  “Fuckin’ coward,” she muttered.  _Gotta do this the hard way, I guess._   Fortunately, the stall doors opened inward, and the first one was the right one.  She kicked it open hard enough to knock it free of its top hinge, catching the vampire inside off guard.  He barely had time to wince at the pain of the door slamming into his face before she was on him, stake first.  His eyes widened in fear and horror just before they crumbled away to dust with the rest of him.

Strong hands clawed at her from behind, yanking her out of the stall by her hair.  The fangs sank into her neck in an instant, the vampire’s movements quick and desperate.  _Still not fast enough._   Faith threw her head back against that of the vampire, not caring that the sharp fangs tore an even deeper gash along her neck as she dislodged them.  Only needing a moment to reverse the balance of power, Faith grabbed the vampire behind her, flipping her up and over her own body before slamming the creature hard to the ground in front of her.  She was straddling the vampire before she could catch her breath, so to speak.  “Any last words?” 

“Fu—” Faith didn’t bother letting her finish, bringing the stake down harshly before the vampire could finish the epithet.

“Didn’t think so,” Faith joked as she stood.  Immediately, she brought a hand up to her neck, and it was slick with blood as she pulled it away.  “Fuck, that hurt.”  She moved to the sink, both to check out the wound and to see whether it was something she could quickly clean up so she could get back to the hunt.  Instead of the usual small puncture marks, there was a gash, a couple inches long, along the bottom half of the right side of her neck.  It was bleeding pretty heavily, but it didn’t look too bad.  She wet her fingers under the faucet and pressed them to the wound gingerly.  _Shallow.  This’ll be fine.  Slayer healin’ should handle it pretty quickly._   She grabbed a couple of paper towels and pressed them firmly to her neck, waiting a few minutes for the bleeding to stop. 

While she waited, Faith reached out with her Slayer senses just to be sure Buffy was still doing alright.  She didn’t sense any immediate distress from the blonde, so she took her time to make sure the bleeding had calmed down before she ventured out of the bathroom.  Hard to sneak up on vampires if they could smell you coming.

Unfortunately, the hunt was over.  She ran into Buffy coming down the stairs from the second floor only a couple of minutes later, leather jacket held draped over her left shoulder.  “I got three, B.  How’d you do?”

The frown that formed along the blonde’s lips was all the answer she needed.  “There was only—Faith!”  Buffy rushed over, placing a hand just under the gash on her neck.  “What happened?”  As much as she enjoyed the other Slayer’s soft touch, Faith wasn’t one to let her hot friend mother her, so she took a step back. 

“I’m fine B.  One of ‘em got the jump on me while I was taking out another.  It’s not as bad as it looks.”  She nodded her head towards Buffy’s right arm.  “What about you, looks like one of ‘em got ya bad.”  In the curve between her shoulder and the top of her bicep, there was a deep incision that was still dribbling blood down her arm.  It was a bit longer, and definitely wider and deeper, than Faith’s.

“Our friend upstairs found himself a letter opener.  Suddenly he remembers he’s the big bad vampire and I’m the little blonde girl.  He got a lucky shot in, but I proved him wrong in the end.”  She smiled widely at Faith, and the open darkness of her wide pupils told Faith that Buffy was feeling the same down low tingle from the fight that Faith was experiencing.  “I’m just pissed that he ruined my jacket.”

“But you’re okay?” Faith asked, not wanting to ignore Buffy’s pain if it was there.

“Five by five,” Buffy answered, grinning mischievously.

“Fuck you, B, that’s my line.”  Faith shoved her playfully, trying to hide the warmth pooling between her legs at the sound of her catchphrase on Buffy’s tongue.  _Shit.  Why does this feel so damn good?_   “Pretty sure we got ‘em all.  Come on, let’s hit up the Bronze.  I’m feelin’ frisky.”  Buffy let her grab her by the wrist, and the two Slayers made their way back out to the cool sunny air of the February afternoon.

~~~~

The sun was just beginning to set when they made it to the Bronze.  “Meet ya on the dance floor,” she said to Buffy, making a beeline towards the DJ.  It didn’t take much sweet talking to get him to change the general ambience in the room from ‘chill evening hang’ to ‘late night dance party.’  She made sure to leave a lingering hand on his arm as she thanked him, before sauntering back over to Buffy.

There weren’t that many people out on the dance floor yet, but with the shift in the music and the two hot Slayers right in the middle of it, a small crowd began to form around them.  Faith had no intentions when she made her way over to Buffy, just wanting to lose herself to the music and the energy flowing between them.  She stopped within a half-foot of the other Slayer but moved no closer.  Instead, she eyed the girl up and down as they both began swaying and moving with the now pulsating beat.  Buffy’s plum-colored, sleeveless, spaghetti-strap top cut straight across her chest just under her collarbones, accenting the soft curves and firm lines of her perfectly tan skin.  The top ended just at the top of the curve of her hips, and her dark pants hugged them oh so perfectly.  _Holy shit, who knew B could move like that?_

Faith turned away, facing towards the nearest guy in the crowd as she and Buffy continued to dance, but that’s when she felt another body press up behind her.  One of Buffy’s hands took Faith’s and raised it into the air as the other came to rest loosely along Faith’s hip.  A pulse of raw heat pushed through her lower body at Buffy’s touch, and Faith did everything she could to play off the sudden jerk of her hips as just her continued movement with the music.  She could feel the softest brush of Buffy’s tits graze against her shoulder blades as the girl’s moves brought her a little closer to Faith.

No words passed between the Slayers as they gave into the primal connection between them.  They were past rational thought, all hands and swaying hips and raw sweaty motion.  Faith could feel Buffy’s cool breath move along the still warm cut along her neck, and she shivered slightly at the exquisite sensation.  She could hear her own heartbeat almost as loudly as the bass pounding around them.  Their bodies moved in unison, and the similarities and differences between dancing together and fighting together were fascinating.  They fed off each other’s movements, just like on the battlefield, but there was no goal here.  No outcome they were working together to achieve.  No baddies to slay.  They were just … **_here_** … in the moment.  Enjoying the way their bodies fit and moved together.

Faith turned around to face Buffy again, and the other Slayer’s eyes caught hers as she slid one hand up and the other down to clasp them behind Faith’s head, a single finger playfully tangling in a lock of Faith’s wild brown locks.  Buffy’s dark eyes hardly even looked green anymore, her pupils were blown so wide, and Faith actively ignored the tiny voice of her conscience shouting danger at her.  Every time her skin brushed against Buffy’s, she felt a very real electricity between them, sparks shooting up and down her in the most amazing way. 

The other Slayer pulled in a little closer to her, and they both closed their eyes as they gave themselves to the music.  Buffy kept one of her hands still in the air, but the other drifted down around her waist.  She could feel the other girl’s breath on her lips, but she refused to open her eyes.  If felt as if …. If they didn’t look at each other, maybe it wasn’t quite real.  They continued to move against each other, and for several seconds, Faith could almost feel Buffy’s lips against hers.  She could feel their hesitant breath intermingling in the tiny amount of space between their faces, and her whole body tensed in anticipation of what might happen.  But nothing else happened—they simply continued to move against each other, neither daring to take that last little step.

Buffy was exhilarating, and time lost all meaning for the two of them.  Song after song passed, and neither of them tired of the raw thrum between them.  They were on the edge of something neither of them was ready to process or handle, and yet neither of them seemed interested in backing down from it.  Nothing else outside of that dance floor mattered.  The tempo of the latest song ratcheted up a little, and Buffy tilted her head back, blonde hair flowing off her shoulders in the most sensual way.  Faith felt languorous, nearly drunk off the warm, fuzzy energy buzzing between them.

After a while, they let some space form between them, holding each other’s hands in the air as they twisted and swayed as one.  Boys continued to move around them, smartly avoiding pressing too close to the girls who had eyes only for each other.  But eventually, Buffy’s eyes caught something over Faith’s shoulders.  A flash of recognition and then something … darker … transitioned through Buffy’s eyes, before she smiled.  Faith’s brow furrowed, but then the other Slayer released her hands and began moving past her, a hand lingering along Faith’s abs and side as she walked away. 

Faith didn’t immediately turn, instead letting the natural sway of her body with the beat move around in a semicircle until she could see where Buffy went.  She caught sight of the blonde just in time to see her leap onto the tall, dark form of Angel, her legs wrapping around his hips as she leaned in for a passionate kiss.  _Fuuuuuuuck._   Angel looked tense and confused by Buffy’s boldness.  _Yeah fucker, that’s what I bring out in her.  That’s not yours.  I did that._  

Buffy slid back down to the ground, her arms still around his neck, and Angel’s eyes shot over her head, fixing Faith with a frustrated and confused look.  She waggled her eyebrows at him, then blew him a taunting kiss before he led Buffy around to a nearby couch.  _Goddammit._   This was exactly the situation she had promised herself she would avoid.  She grabbed the nearest boy and leaned in to whisper seductively, “Buy me a shot or two, yeah?”  He led her off the dance floor and around to the bar.

 _She doesn’t owe you anything.  It’s just fun.  It’s fine.  You knew she was with Angel._   They had avoided that topic since Faith returned to town, an unspoken agreement between the two of them.  It was just different having to see it.  She wasn’t concerned with the idea of Buffy’s milquetoast undead lover, but seeing her mount him like that made her blood boil.  Faith pretended to give any fucks at all about the small talk the guy was making with her as he bought her a shot of tequila, then another.  Men were so easy.

For whatever reason, Buffy was the one to save her from the small talk, grabbing her by the arm with a bright, “gotta go!”  Faith let herself be led out of the club, offering the guy a halfhearted “sorry” on her way out. 

As they walked out into the now chilly night air, Faith pulled her hand from Buffy’s grip.  “What’s goin’ on?” 

Buffy's eyes looked slightly guilty for some reason, but then she smiled.  “Short chat with Angel and our favorite new Watcher.”  _Wes was there?_   “Turns out Balthazar is alive, so I figured you and me could go take him and his vampire lackeys out.”

Now that was a plan Faith could get behind.  A spot of violence was exactly what she needed right then, work off some of this annoying disappointment she wasn’t supposed to be feeling.  “Lead the way, Blondie.”

~~~~

“Looks like we’ve got ten, maybe twelve bad guys, plus one very creepy bedridden demon.”  Balthazar wasn’t at all what Buffy had expected.  He was lying in a fancy rolling bed thingie, like a super duper version of a hospital bed, upper body propped up slightly so he could look his lackeys in the face.  He was vaguely humanoid, but he looked more like a frail, desiccated corpse than a person.  His flesh was yellowed and rotting, and his head looked too large for his weakened body, like at any moment his fragile neck might give out and snap under the weight of his skull.  The only part of him that looked alive were those hungry, malevolent red eyes.  He gave Buffy the serious willies. 

She glanced back at Faith, who shrugged and muttered, “I say we take ‘em all, hard and fast and **_now_**.”  The girl had been buzzing with a sort of nervous, aggressive energy on the drive to the warehouse, and even now, Buffy could see how much she was itching for a fight.

Buffy didn’t like their odds, and as frail as the creepy demon seemed, she didn’t know what sort of power he might possess, even without his amulet.  “We need a little more firepower than, you know, **_none._**   We should head back to the library.”  She didn’t really intend to face them tonight—instead, she was hoping Faith might calm down a little and instead of regrouping with weapons, maybe they could take the night to do some research and find Balthazar’s weaknesses, if he had any.

Faith conceded the point.  “I guess Rotting Corpse Boy ain’t goin’ anywhere.”  She leaned slightly, eyes glancing around Buffy and searching the nearby area.  “I just … wish we had—”  Her eyes locked on a nearby store front.  “Ah.  That is **_too_** good.”  Buffy followed her gaze to a sporting goods store maybe fifty yards down the street.  _Crap._

The other Slayer was moving before Buffy could get a hand around her wrist, so she followed closely.  _What is she planning here?_   Before she could ask, Faith kicked the door in, and _oh, okay, we’re robbing a store now._   Buffy felt intensely conflicted.  There was something so sexy and dangerous about this, especially with the high from the Bronze still buzzing faintly along her skin.  But … she was a Slayer, not a thief.

“Faith!”  The taller Slayer shot her a seductive look as she sauntered over to a nearby glass case, before driving her elbow down into it.  The glass shattered, and she pulled a small crossbow from the case.  It wasn’t anywhere near as high quality as the one Buffy had at home, but it’d do in a pinch.  Faith moved as if she already owned everything in the store, and Buffy had trouble resisting the urge to play along, especially once Faith tossed her the crossbow.  Still, she had to say something.  “I don’t know about this.”

“Seriously?  We’re Slayers.  Got a job to do.  Those vamps across the street are a danger to everyone in this town, including the owners of this store.  Long as we’re out there keepin’ them safe, you really think they’re gonna begrudge us takin’ a few weapons that we actually **_need_**?”  Buffy gripped the crossbow, appreciated the cool sensation of the polished wood against her skin.  Faith sauntered over to a tall vertical glass case.  “When are you gonna get this, B?  Life for a Slayer is very simple: want—” she shattered the glass of this case too, “—take—” she reached in and pulled out a compound bow, “—have.”  She smiled mischievously, gesturing with her free hand for Buffy to give it a shot.

Buffy held the other Slayer’s gaze for several moments, her misgivings beginning to slip away along with her inhibitions.  She blushed slightly, then grinned back at Faith, turning to a shallow glass case in the wall between them.  Inside were several knives of varying lengths.  “Want,” she repeated, slamming her elbow through the glass.  “Take.”  She withdrew one knife, sliding it into her jacket pocket before reaching for another.  “Have.”  She flipped the knife into the air and caught it, turning back to Faith.  “I think I’m getting’ it.”

Faith slipped a quiver of thin wooden arrows around her shoulders, then paced towards Buffy, feeding off the growing energy between them.  The air was suddenly heavy again, like it had been back in the Bronze, and Buffy wasn’t sure she could resist this time.  It was crazy the kind of effect Faith had on her, and suddenly, she no longer had any doubt they could take the demons down the street, research be damned.

Before the other Slayer could reach her, they were both ripped back into reality by the very loud sound of a gunshot mere feet away from them.  Buffy jumped, and she turned rapidly to find two police officers standing in the broken doorway to the store, revolvers pointed firmly at the two Slayers.

“Drop the weapons and get down on the ground!  Now!”  Buffy and Faith shared a worried look, neither sure how to handle the situation.  They were fast, but they weren’t fast enough to outrun a speeding bullet.  “I said drop the weapons, or I fire!”  Buffy immediately leaned forward and set the crossbow carefully on the ground, laying the knife next to it.  They weren’t aware of the knife in her jacket, as far as she knew.  Next to her, Faith’s movements matched her own.

“Now spread ‘em,” the cop ordered.  Immediately, Faith bristled.

“You wish,” she sneered.  Buffy’s eyes went wide, and she was suddenly very afraid that Faith might try something stupid and get herself hurt.  Both officers tensed, and Buffy caught Faith’s eyes long enough to mouth ‘calm down.’

“Hands in the air where I can see ‘em, nice and slow.”  Buffy and Faith both complied, though Faith of course had to add her own flair to it, raising her hands in the arm in an almost sultry manner, clasping them above her head as if she and Buffy were in her bedroom rather than getting busted for breaking and entering.  _Where the hell did that idea come from?_   “Cuff ‘em,” the cop told his partner, who lowered his weapon and moved towards Buffy.

Faith kept her attention on Buffy, though, and she winked as if there was nothing concerning about their current situation.  “I like him,” she joked.  “He’s **_butch_**.”  Buffy had no idea how to interpret that comment, but she let the other officer handcuff her arms behind her back.  Her mind was racing.  Faith was right about them having needed the weapons, but it wasn’t like they could tell these cops that they were basically superheroes arming themselves to fight evil demons across the street.  But they couldn’t just go along with being arrested and allowing themselves to be identified and booked by the cops either.  You can’t save the world from jail.

They allowed themselves to be placed in the backseat of the police car, and as they pulled away, Faith slid in closer.  She placed her lips right up against Buffy’s ear as she whispered, “You wanna get outta here?”  Buffy repressed a pleasant shudder at the feel of her breath against her ear.  Leave it to Faith to find a way to make even this feel sexy.

The cop driving the car killed the mood.  “That was some artillery you two were puttin’ together.  You with one of those girl gangs?”  Buffy shot an incredulous look through the heavy steel mesh separating the prisoners from their annoying captors.

“Yeah,” Faith responded sarcastically.  “We’re the Slayers.”  She gave Buffy a leering wink, and she couldn’t help but smile at the other Slayer’s antics.  Then Faith slouched down a little in her seat, nodding her head towards their feet.  Buffy immediately understood what she was getting at, and she only hesitated a moment before nodding her agreement.  They weren’t moving all that fast, and she didn’t think the cops would be hurt too badly if they somehow got into an accident.

Buffy caught Faith’s eyes, then mouthed, ‘One.  Two.  **_Three_**.”  They kicked out in unison, knocking the steel mesh free of its edges and forward onto the cops’ heads.  The steel caught them in the back of the head, and as they slumped forward, probably unconscious, the car immediately slowed and veered to the right.  Buffy braced herself with her feet against the seat in front of her as the police cruiser impacted against a car parked along the street.  She pulled apart the thin metal chain linking her cuffs, then used both legs to kick her door open.  As she went around the back of the car, she could see Faith was already fishing the keys off the belt of the unconscious officer in the front passenger seat.  She unlocked her own cuffs, then turned to do Buffy’s.  “Let’s get outta here.

Buffy ignored her, leaning in to get a good look at the cops.  She wanted to be sure they were okay.  “Maybe we should call an ambulance?”

“B, I guarantee you, someone on this street has already called it in.  They’ll be fine, now let’s go!”  She saw the slight panic in Faith’s eyes, and it shook her free of whatever concern she held for the cops.  She was right, they couldn’t get caught again.  They stole away quickly into the night, and they didn’t have to say anything else.  They both knew they were done with excitement for the night, and it wasn’t long before they reached the Summers house.

~~~~

“I can’t believe you went back for that.”  Buffy eyed the compound bow resting on top of Buffy’s weapons trunk.  It was late afternoon, and Buffy and Faith were hanging out in her bedroom, waiting for the cover of night before they headed back to Balthazar’s warehouse hideout.

“What can I say, B?  She’s a beauty.  I’m dyin’ to test her out.  Think it might be my new thing.”

“Oh yeah?  You gonna cover me from long range?  Somehow I just can’t picture you taking yourself out of the hand-to-hand fight.”

“Fair ‘nough.”  Faith grinned up at her from where she was splayed out along the edge of Buffy’s bed.  “When did you get all observant?  Guess you noticed I’m more Elektra Nachios than Clint Barton.”  Faith ignored the anxiety in her chest as she cautiously admitted to her more than passing knowledge of Marvel comics.

Buffy rolled her eyes.  “Not even gonna pretend I know what that means.”  Her beaming smile said otherwise, and Faith wondered if she noticed the comic books she no longer bothered trying to hide in her room. 

Faith pressed herself up onto her elbow, leaning forward a little.  “Princess Buffy is too good for comic books, huh?”  Buffy blushed, only slightly, but now she was leaning in a little too.

“Oh, you’re finally admitting that you actually have hobbies and interests?  And are apparently an adorably huge geek?”  There was maybe four or five inches of space between them now, and Faith was just waiting for Buffy to get cold feet again.  She hummed pleasantly.

“You tell anyone else, and I’ll show you what I can do with that ax you gave me for Christmas, Blondie.”

“That so?” Buffy whispered, and now there was less than an inch of space between their lips.  Deep green eyes remained locked onto warm brown ones, and neither Slayer seemed ready to blink.

Once again, Faith could feel the other girl’s breath on her lips.  “You’re damn right,” she confirmed, voice little more than an undertone.  Unable to resist the gravity between them any longer, Faith finally decided to give in.

And that’s when the door to the bedroom creaked open loudly.  Buffy sprung away from her with lightning quick reflexes, but Faith remained where she was, continuing to laze about on the bed as she turned her gaze nonchalantly towards the door, where Willow was looking at them suspiciously.  Faith wasn’t about to let either one of them know that her heart was about to pound out of her chest.

Willow’s narrowed eyes darted back and forth between the two of them.  “Uhh…”

“Sup, Red?  Havin’ a nice Sunday?” Faith kept her voice casual, trying her best to distract the witch from a realization about what she nearly just walked in on.  Willow’s eyes narrowed even further, as if she could see exactly what Faith was doing, then she did something surprising: she called her bluff.

Willow climbed onto the bed and plopped down beside Faith, stretching out her legs in an obvious attempt to form a barrier between the two Slayers.  Faith couldn’t help but crack a grin.  “My Saturday’s going pretty great, Faith,” she answered, the perfect image of cheerful friendship.  “You two headin’ out for Balthazar tonight?”

“Mmhmm,” Buffy confirmed.  “Just waitin’ for nightfall.  What brings you by?”  She did a pretty poor job of keeping the confusion and unease out of her voice, and Faith tried her best not to think too hard about what might’ve been going on in Buffy’s head right then.

“I come bearing gifts.”  She handed each of them a small black felt pouch.  Faith eyed hers warily, knowing it was some sort of magic thing.  Buffy took the opposite approach, immediately lifting hers to her nose and sniffing at it.

“Mmm.”

“You like it?”

Buffy smiled at her friend, awkwardness momentarily forgotten.  “It smells good.  What is it?”

Willow beamed at her, proud of her handiwork.  “Just a little something we witches like to call a protection spell.”  She shifted to shoot a sideways glance at Faith, who had been with her on the latest trip for ingredients.  Faith wondered what iteration of protection spell she had finally been able to concoct.

“Good deal, protection.”  Buffy sniffed it again, disbelieving.  “I’m just surprised is all, since usually spell stuff’s more—”

“Stinky?” Willow finished.  “Yeah.  That’s why I added lavender.  Give me time, and I may be the first wicca to do all my conjuring in pine fresh scent.”  Faith chuckled.  She couldn’t help it—she liked the overly peppy witch, even if she had the worst timing.  “So, what’s the plan?”  Buffy’s eyes narrowed inquiringly, and Faith continued to watch in silence with a soft grin on her face.  Willow’s eyes darted back and forth between them, unsure again.  “For tonight’s slayage.  We’re going, aren’t we?”

Buffy looked at Faith for the first time since Willow had interrupted them, the worry obvious in her eyes.  “Yeah…” she answered cautiously.

Willow beamed again, not catching onto Buffy’s general vibe.  “Great!”

“But … there’s a ‘but.’”  Buffy frowned, not sure how to tell Willow that she wasn’t invited.  “And that’s uh… like … ‘but you shouldn’t come … tonight.’  Is that cool?”

Willow deflated immediately.  “Well … sure.  Makes sense.  You know … you’ll be facing big, hairy danger.”

Buffy stammered, “Yeah!  Uh, b-biggest and **_very_** hairy.”  _Yeah okay, B, but **I’m** the geek._  

“You’ll be risking your life?”  There was concern in Willow’s voice now too, along with the hurt of being left out again.

“Right!  And why risk yours?” 

Willow’s brow furrowed.  “Because I’m your friend,” she suggested, as if that made all the difference.  Faith sensed she needed to intervene before the two friends hurt each other’s feelings any further.

“Red, it’s cool.  You did your part, brought us the wicked mumbo jumbo, right?  Leave the hard violence to the big bad Slayers, kay?”  She put a hand on Willow’s shoulder, and that seemed to break the tension.  The redhead smiled at her, nodding softly.  “Speakin’ of, we should probably get goin’, B.”

“Y-yeah,” the other Slayer agreed, blushing slightly as if Faith’s sudden rejoining of the conversation reminded her of how close they’d come to kissing only minutes earlier.  “Thanks, Will.  You’re the best!” 

This time, they walked to the warehouse as the sun continued to set along the western horizon.  A tense silence arose between them from the minute they left Buffy’s bedroom, and neither of them was willing to admit aloud what had nearly happened.  _Just focus on the slay.  Big bad demons need killin’.  The rest of it … well, you shouldn’t have let it get that far anyway._

As they neared the warehouse through a back alley, Faith finally broke the tension.  “You’re quiet tonight.”  She slotted an arrow into the bow she was carrying, testing out the general weight and feel of it and doing what she could to avoid making eye contact with Buffy.

“Yeah well, I just wanna get this done,” Buffy answered.  Her voice was more tense than Faith expected.  She was a little worried now.  Things could get dodgy if she and Buffy weren’t on the same page.  Too many distractions with ‘ifs’ and ‘might’ve beens’ could hurt their teamwork.  But before she could try to clear the air, one of the freaky medieval vamp guys came flying at them out of nowhere.

Three others flooded into the alley behind him.  _So much for the element of surprise._   At close range, it quickly became clear that the bow was next to useless.  “Screw it!”  She tossed it aside and staked the vamp charging her with the arrow, then pulled a stake from the waistband of her jeans.  They made short work of the remaining three vamps, and then continued to hurry forward.  “I think we got more comin’!”

Two more jumped out at them, and after a short scuffle, they met the same fate as their cohorts.  Buffy growled, “We’re never gonna make it to the warehouse.”

“They keep comin’ one at a time, we got a shot,” Faith shot back, trying to flash Buffy a grin, but getting no response.  The two Slayers continued on like this for several minutes, tensely shuffling up the alleyways as they neared closer and closer to the warehouse, continuously slowed down by vampires popping out to challenge them.  One or two would come out of nowhere, and they would quickly stake them and move on.  It was a pretty shitty strategy on the part of the vamps, in Faith’s opinion.

But they were getting close now, Faith could feel it.  As she turned a corner, breathing a little heavy at this point, another one jumped out at her.  Her hand moved on instinct, driving the stake into his chest in an instant.  Except that this wasn’t one of the medieval guys.  This was a tallish man in a pale grey suit.  And he didn’t crumble away to dust.  Instead, the force of her stake drove him backwards, off his feet, and he slumped down against a nearby dumpster.

“Faith!” Buffy screamed, and there was terror in her voice.  Faith couldn’t move, and she could hear her own heartbeat pounding in her chest.  The guy continued to not turn to dust, and Faith’s chest tightened violently at the sight of the blood staining the white of his shirt around his fresh stab wound.  Her brain couldn’t form a coherent thought in that moment, as she the sheer horror of what she had just done began to wash over her.  Buffy fell to her knees in front of the guy, who was now grasping at his chest, the blood soaking his hands.  His eyes were unfocused and wide with fear and pain, but the only sound he made was a soft gurgling in his throat, over the now weakening rasp of his labored breathing.  “Oh god,” Buffy gasped.  “Don’t move!”

The blonde made as if to press her own hands to his wound, to try to staunch the bleeding, but she pulled away at the last second, completely unsure of what she should do.  Someone kept muttering “I didn’t know,” over and over, and as Faith looked down at her own hands, she realized it was her own voice in her ears.  She dropped the stake in shock.  The world around her started to spin, slightly, and suddenly Faith thought she might throw up.  “I didn’t know.”  _This can’t be happening._

After a few more moments, the guy’s eyes went empty, and his body stopped quivering.  “Oh god,” Buffy whispered, unable to move from where she was beside him.  Faith’s hands shook violently, and her eyes darted around the alleyway.  _This has to be a nightmare.  This can’t be real._   Her breath was rapid and painful now, and she felt like she couldn’t get enough oxygen.

“Buffy, we gotta go!”  Faith panicked, and she took three steps forward to grab Buffy by the shoulders, pulling at her.  “We gotta go!”  When Buffy turned to look at her, there was nothing but horror and disgust in those haunted emerald eyes, and Faith immediately flinched back from her gaze.  _Fuck.  What have I done?”_ Without another word, Faith turned on her heels, picked up her stake, and sprinted away as fast as she could, hopping a nearby fence in a single bound.

~~~~

Faith continued to scrub.  The skin of her hands was raw and pink at this point, but she could still feel the blood on them.  She couldn’t get it off.  _Why won’t it come off?_ The water was as hot as she could get it, and it burned against her skin.  _Have to keep scrubbing.  I have to get him off of me.  Fuck, what did I do?_

After running in circles in a state of animalistic panic for who knows how long, she had doubled back to where they had left the body.  _I killed him.  He’s dead.  I killed him._   She had gotten rid of the body.  She didn’t know what else to do.  It was fortunate that the warehouse was close to the docks.  She tied the heaviest bits of brick and stone she could find to his arms and legs and tossed him into the ocean.  _What kind of monster does that?  Who am I? **What** am I?_

Suddenly she was reliving the violence of her childhood.  The abuse that her father rained down on her and her mother indiscriminately, such casual cruelty.  Such anger.  _Maybe I have his disease.  Maybe I’m the same sort of monster._   She thought of the pleasure she got from killing demons and vampires, the rush, the thrill of it.  _What if I have a taste for it now?  This one was an accident—would the next one be on purpose?  Killed one, maybe it won’t be so horrible next time.  Am I like him?_ She felt sick again, and she puked into the drain of the shower.

Her tears mixed in with the intensely hot water pouring down over her head.  She continued to scrub at her shaking hands.  _God, it hurts.  I hate that it hurts like this.  I just … ended his life.  Like that.  Gone.  What if he had a family?_   The sob overtook her body, then another, and another.  It was all she could do to stay on her feet.  _What kind of person goes for a midnight stroll in an alley full of vampires?  I just reacted.  What was I supposed to do?  I didn’t **mean** to._

She could see the life drain from the guy’s eyes.  Over and over and over again, it played in her head.  She couldn’t make it go away.  Screaming, she slammed her fist into the pale green tile of the shower stall.  Then she did it again.  And again.  Until the green tile was nothing but bloody red powder, and she couldn’t feel her hand anymore. 

Her energy spent, she crumbled to the floor of the tub.  She stayed there until the water turned cold.  At some point, her broken and mangled fist had stopped bleeding.  She noticed it as she numbly reached out to turn off the shower.  It took her another few minutes to find her way out of the tub and wrap herself in a towel.  It was another ten minutes before she was back in her room, throwing on some underwear, sweats, and a tank top.  She couldn’t feel anything anymore.  She climbed onto her bed and pulled her knees up, tucking her head and wrapping her arms tightly around her legs.  The pain in her hand was flaring up again now, but she didn’t care.  _I deserve that, and so much more._

_It wasn’t my fault.  I didn’t know he was human.  I didn’t mean to._

She had no idea how much more time passed before she sensed movement in her periphery.  “We got Balthazar,” Buffy said softly.  “It’s over.”  _It’s not over.  I killed a man.  It’ll never be over._   Faith didn’t move.  A moment passed, then another.  Then Buffy walked towards her, slowly.  She settled in on the edge of Faith’s bed, as far away from the dark Slayer as possible.  _She must hate me.  Must be disgusted with me.  With what I did._

 _She looked up from his body, and her eyes were haunted.  She was so disgusted by what I did.  Everyone eventually turns against me._   That’s a lesson Faith learned a long time ago, and she berated herself for letting herself forget that.  “Faith?”  A pause, and again, Faith didn’t move.  “Faith, how are you doing?”

 _I killed a man.  I’m fallin’ to pieces.  My mouth still tastes like vomit, and my hand hurts from pounding a hole in your bathroom wall.  I don’t know how I’m gonna make it through the night._   “I’m alright,” Faith whispered.  “You know me.”

“Faith, we need to talk about what we’re gonna do.”  _Right.  This was the part where B tells me they’re turnin’ me over to the cops.  Maybe that’s what I deserve._   Another voice in her head fought back.  _Shit was a war zone.  You couldn’t have known.  Fuck all of it.  This wasn’t your fault._   Faith pushed herself off the bed, to her own right so that the bed remained between the Slayers.  She glanced briefly at Buffy before looking back down at the floor.

“There’s nothin’ to talk about.  I was doing my job.”

“This wasn’t… Faith, that’s not our job.  Being a Slayer is not the same as being a killer.”  There it was.  _She thinks I’m a killer.  I **am** a killer.  I killed someone.  No way around it._   It hurt that Buffy blamed her, but Faith wasn’t surprised.  She turned away from the bed.  _I gotta run.  Gotta get away._   “Faith.  Please.  Don’t shut me out here.  Sooner or later, we’re both gonna have to deal.”

“Wrong,” Faith spat, still not looking at the other Slayer.

“We can help each other.”

“I don’t need it.”  She flexed her hand, letting herself feel the intense waves of pain. 

“Yeah?” Buffy challenged her, starting to get frustrated.  “Who’s wrong now?  Faith, you can shut off all the emotions you want, but eventually, they’re gonna find a body.”  Another dry heave threatened to retch through her body, and in an effort to fight against it, she turned on a dime and glared back at Buffy.

“Okay.  This is the last time we’re gonna have this conversation, and we’re not even having it now, you understand me?  There **_is_** no body.  I took it, weighted it, and dumped it.  The body doesn’t exist.”  She turned away again, refusing to let Buffy see the tears starting to form under her eyelids.  _I can’t let her in, not now.  She’s not my girlfriend; she doesn’t care about me like that.  She’s not gonna protect me._ Faith felt trapped.  The only thing she knew how to do was hide, mask her emotions behind her bravado.  Show no weakness.  No emotion.

The shock was open and obvious in Buffy’s voice.  “Getting rid of the evidence doesn’t make the problem go away.”

“It does for me,” Faith whispered, knowing she was lying.  Knowing that the problem wouldn’t go away.  But she had not a single clue how to deal with it.  She had to hope that if she ignored it long enough, they could all just move on eventually.

“Faith!  You don’t get it—you **_killed_** a man.”  _Of course I fucking get it._   Faith turned back, forcing a casual sneer to her face.  _Gotta play it cool.  Play the bad girl.  It’s what you’re good at._

“No.  **_You_** don’t get it.”  She shook her head angrily, but several strands of her still wet hair clung to the sides of her face. “I don’t care!” she spat.  But she did care.  She cared too much.  She had spent the past hour or more trying desperately to care even a tiny bit less, and all she’d gotten was a possibly broken hand.  Nothing would ever be okay again.  This wasn’t some evil demon she’d killed, or even some evil piece of shit like her father.  As far as she knew, this was just some guy.  In the wrong place, at the wrong time.  And she’d ended his life like it was nothing.

 _Of course, I care._   But she didn’t want or need Buffy’s pity.  Moreover, she didn’t deserve it.  And that’s why the blonde surprised her, when instead of taking Faith’s angry lashing out as a signal to leave, she moved around the bed and reached a tentative hand to Faith’s cheek. 

As soon as she realized what Buffy was doing, she flinched away, and she was so shocked that she momentarily lost control, failing to keep all the pain and anguish and fear out of her eyes as she met Buffy’s.  Both of them began to tear up, and this was so not what Faith was looking for right then.

“Faith, you **_do_** care.  Try to hide all you want, but I know you.  As well as you’ve let me, anyway.  Which … yeah, it isn’t much.  But you care, and I can see it.  You can’t hide that from me.”

“Buffy, it doesn’t matter.  You didn’t do this.  I did.  It’s on me.  It’s my burden.  And I’m not lookin’ for pity.”  She turned away again.  “Please, just get out.”

“You can’t avoid this forever, Faith.”  _I can damn well try._   “Get some rest, if you can.  We’ll talk in the morning.”  She could sense Buffy moving out towards the door, but she stopped just outside, hand on the doorknob.  “This wasn’t your fault.”  Her voice was soft.  She sounded tentative, so unsure she was nearly lost.  But she still said it, and Faith didn’t know what to do with those last words.

The door closed behind Buffy, leaving Faith alone with her guilt and pain.

_Eventually it won’t hurt as much.  Everything will blow over.  It has to._


	14. So Close, Yet So Far Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consequences

“Are either of you aware of the news this morning?”  It took everything in Buffy to keep up appearances, pretending to have no idea what Giles was asking about.  Beside her, Faith seemed every bit as clueless.  “A dead body was found at the waterfront this morning, having washed up overnight.”  The body had belonged to Sunnydale Deputy Mayor Allan Finch, and Buffy had barely gotten any sleep last night, thanks to the vivid nightmares about Faith accidentally staking him.  Apparently, Faith hadn’t weighted the body down nearly enough when she attempted to dispose of the evidence of what she’d done.

Wesley stopped pacing behind Giles.  “I want you both to look into this.  Find out everything you can about the murder of the deputy mayor.” 

Buffy reacted without thinking.  “But that’s …”  She glanced sideways at Faith, whose face was completely impassive, as if she had no interest in the topic of discussion.  “I-I mean, that’s … that’s not really our jurisdiction, is it?”

“I know you’re new to this Watcher game, Wes, but we’re Slayers.  Not homicide detectives.  This ain’t in the job description.”  Faith sounded so cavalier, as if she couldn’t be bothered with a task that sounded boring to her.  _How can she play this off so casually?_

“They’re right,” Giles agreed.  “The deputy mayor’s murder was the result of human malice.”  From Buffy’s vantage point, perched on top of the library table, she could see both Faith and Giles.  For the first time, Faith’s steely demeanor began to crack a little.  She winced at the words ‘human malice,’ if only slightly.  “There’s nothing supernatural about it.”

“We don’t know that for certain,” Wesley insisted, and Faith’s visage continued to darken.  Buffy wished she knew what to do.  For now, only she and Faith knew what had happened, though if Angel watched the news, he might start to put two and two together.  Buffy had run into him last night as they fled the scene of the accidental killing, and he had made a point of noticing the smell of another human’s blood on her.

“Fine.  No big, right B?  We ain’t got anything else on our plates right now—guess we could do this **_favor_** for Wes.”  Buffy did her best not to gape at Faith’s sudden about-face.  _Faith, what are you thinking?_  She couldn’t help but notice the other Slayer’s phrasing; even if she was freaking out internally, Faith couldn’t resist the urge to antagonize Wesley, emphasizing the Slayers’ disdain for the orders of anyone affiliated with the Council.  “We done here?”  Faith directed the question at Buffy, no longer interested in anything else Wesley had to say.

Buffy’s only answer was to spring off the table.  She was eager to get away from the uncomfortable situation and desperate to try and get Faith to open up to her.  “One moment, girls,” Wesley preened.  “I **_am_** your commander now—” 

Faith’s eyes narrowed, and she muttered, “As if.”

“—And on the matter of this murder, I am **_resolved_**.  Natural or super, I want to know.”  Wesley glared at them both, but his eyes lingered on Faith.

“Yeah, whatever Wes.  We’ll keep you in the loop if we feel like it.  Long as I get to kick a little bad guy butt.”  She touched Buffy softly on the shoulder, and Buffy had no idea how to interpret the wildly mixed signals she was getting from Faith this morning.  They walked out of the library together, leaving Wes in a huff.

“Faith, can we **_please_** talk,” Buffy pleaded as soon as they were out in the hallway.  Faith’s eyes narrowed, flashing with a mix of emotions Buffy couldn’t read, but she signaled her willingness to talk with a half-hearted shrug.  Buffy quickly led her into an empty classroom, locking the door behind them.  Her eyes focused on the ground as she followed Faith into the room, completely unsure of how to start the conversation. 

Faith, however, was feeling much more brash, walking animatedly towards Buffy with arms spread wide.  “So, you gonna rat me out?  Is that it?”  Her words were harsh, but her eyes told a radically different story.  Buffy could see the overwhelming fear and guilt in those dark brown orbs as they focused narrowly on Buffy’s face in an attempt to mask the turmoil hidden just inside Faith’s thorny façade. 

“No, Faith, but we need to tell someone. I-I can’t pretend to investigate this.  I can’t pretend that I don’t know.”  Immediately, Faith’s features twisted in hurt and confusion.  She seemed so volatile, and in an entirely different way than she had seemed the night before.  When Buffy had found her, the girl seemed broken, drowning in her guilt over what she had done.  Volatile yes, but only in so far as she couldn’t control her own emotions.  Today, Faith seemed more like a wild animal, firmly expecting to be attacked at any moment.  Buffy had no idea what had changed for her, nor did she know how to handle this other side of Faith.

_How is this the same girl I came within seconds of kissing less than twenty-four hours ago?_

Faith crossed her arms and eyed Buffy skeptically.  “Oh, I see,” she said, voice tight and spiteful.  “But you can pretend that Angel's still dead when you need to protect **_him_**.”  Buffy’s eyes widened, her fists tightening painfully as the frustration began to build inside her.  _I am so tired of this jealous bullshit, from both of them._

“Faith!  This isn’t about Angel!  And I **_am_** trying to protect you.  Right now, I just want you to talk to me.  You don’t have to take this on yourself!  It doesn’t do you any good to pretend that this doesn’t faze you.”  _I saw you last night,_ she left unsaid, not wanting to push the girl too hard.  _I **know** this is destroying you.  Let me help, Faith.  _ “I-if we don’t do the right thing, it's only gonna make things worse for you.”

Faith scoffed.  “Worse than jail for the rest of my young life?”  No fuckin’ way, B.”  _Jail?_   Buffy had never considered that possibility, but with the body turning up, she guessed that was a possibility.  _Shit.  No wonder she’s freaking._

“I won’t let it come to that, Faith.  It was a mistake, and we’re Slayers.  It’s … i-it’s horrible, but it happened.  Maybe we have to work with the Watchers, but we’ll find a way, okay?  I’m not going to let them—”

“B, I fuckin’ killed a guy.  That doesn’t go away.  And if you think I’m trustin’ my life to the goddamn bastards who tried to drug you and feed you to a vampire, you got another thing comin’.”  Faith was buzzing with an anxious energy, and Buffy couldn’t help noticing the way she was nervously flexing her fingers.

She stepped closer, reaching out a hand to touch Faith’s cheek, hoping to reassure her.  But Faith’s eyes widened, and she recoiled from Buffy’s touch immediately.  “Faith.”  Buffy kept her voice soft.  She was hurt by Faith’s reaction, but she would do whatever she had to to prove that she was on the other Slayer’s side.  “What we did was—”

“Yeah,” Faith interrupted.  “ ** _We_**.  You were right there beside me when this whole thing went down.  If you were a few steps in front of me, that woulda been you, not me.”  Faith’s eyes were wild and unfocused, and her voice was hoarse, constantly sounding on the edge of cracking.  “Anything I have to answer for, you do, too.   You're a part of this, B.   ** _All_** the way.”  Buffy hated how much that sounded like a threat, in addition to being the exact opposite of what Faith had insisted the night before. But already the other Slayer was walking away from her.

She left Buffy standing there, completely unsure of how things went from amazing to absolute shit in such a short amount of time.  _How can I get through to her?  And how much time do I have to keep trying before someone starts to figure out what happened to the deputy mayor?_

~~~~

They headed out to check out Deputy Mayor Finch’s office in City Hall shortly after nine o’clock.  Buffy hadn’t gotten anything else out of Faith since their confrontation at school.  The other Slayer had made herself scarce, until she found Buffy in her bedroom insisting that they go do some investigating.  When Buffy asked her why she would want to do that, Faith had immediately tensed up.  Told her that she was going with or without her, then headed off down the hallway.  Buffy threw on a coat and followed, catching up to her just before Faith could slam the front door behind her.

There had been a tense silence between them the entire walk over, and Buffy continued to feel lost and more than a little hopeless.  All she wanted to do was help Faith, but the other Slayer had so thoroughly shut her out that it left Buffy wondering if she’d ever really known her at all.  And it wasn’t like Buffy wasn’t struggling with her own inner turmoil and guilt about the part she had played in the man’s death.  Like it or not, Faith was right; Buffy would’ve done the exact same thing if she was the one leading the charge down the alley.  Vampire after vampire had been leaping out at them for the better part of five minutes by then, and they had both gotten into a steady rhythm of reacting to any movement with a swift staking motion.

But more than that, something about all of this felt off to Buffy.  Call it Slayer’s intuition.  She couldn’t fathom why the deputy mayor would’ve been all alone in that alley, which was otherwise occupied solely by Balthazar’s vampire minions, at that time of night.  Unless he was involved with them somehow.  It didn’t make him any less human, and she wasn’t looking to excuse what they had done.  But Buffy felt like there was more to this than they knew, and she just hoped beyond hope that whatever was going on might be able to help resolve whatever was going on inside Faith.

So that’s how the two Slayers found themselves breaking into City Hall late on a Monday night.  Security was, unsurprisingly, lax, and it took them fewer than five minutes to find their way to Finch’s office.  Buffy turned on the light, and they made their way inside.  The office was so normal.  Some part of her had hoped there would be some glaring indication of demonic involvement waiting for them, but of course, that wasn’t how it worked in real life. 

Buffy went to look through his file cabinets as Faith checked out his desk.  After maybe a minute, a soft gasp drew her attention back to Faith, who was holding what looked like a picture frame in her hands.  “He came out of nowhere,” she whispered, and Buffy wasn’t sure if she was talking to her or just giving voice to her own horrified inner monologue. 

“I know,” Buffy offered sympathetically, hoping the other Slayer would meet her gaze and see how much she wanted to comfort her. 

Instead, Faith stiffened, as if suddenly aware of Buffy’s presence again and intensely uncomfortable with her own vulnerability.  Her walls locked firmly into place again, and she dropped the frame like it was scalding hot to the touch.  “Whatever.”  She refused to look at Buffy.  “I’m not lookin’ to hug and cry and learn and grow.  I’m just sayin’ it happened quick, ya know?”  _I do know,_ Buffy wished she could say, but she felt pretty sure Faith wouldn’t take it the right way.

Buffy kept searching the filing cabinet, but Faith gave up quickly.  “You know what?  Let’s just blow.  Who care what this guy was about?  Kinda moot now, don’t ya think?”  Faith’s voice was unsteady, again making Buffy think of a wild animal, terrified of the cage it had suddenly found itself trapped inside.  Rather than point out that searching Finch’s office had been Faith’s idea, Buffy tried to explain the nagging suspicion she could no longer ignore.

“Faith, I don’t think he was in that alley by chance.  I think he was looking for us.  I’d like to know why.”  Now Faith was looking at her again, warily.  Like she wanted desperately to agree with Buffy, but couldn’t quite let go of her own guilt to do so.

“So, what?  You think there’s some big conspiracy?”

Buffy pulled out folder after folder after folder, to emphasize the fact that each one of them was empty.  _Almost like someone cleaned them out in a hurry after the body was found._  “You were saying?”

“So his papers are gone.  That doesn’t prove anything.”  Faith was trying to pretend like she didn’t see where Buffy was going with this, but Buffy could see through her.  She knew that, as much as Faith was struggling with her own emotions and her driving need to hide those emotions from Buffy, some part of her sensed the major feeling of off-ness that Buffy felt.  Faith was, after all, also a Slayer. 

“It proves that **_somebody_** didn’t want us to prove anything.”  Buffy had the feeling that the somebody at issue was the mayor himself, Richard Wilkins III.  After all, there was only one person higher up than the deputy mayor.  Buffy might not be taking government, but even she knew that.

They continued to search the office, but Buffy had already resigned herself to the fact that they wouldn’t find anything.  The office had been picked clean, leaving them with no leads as to what big evil Finch had been involved with or what role he had potentially played.  Feeling a little defeated, but all the more confident in her theory, Buffy started to lead Faith out of the office.

Which is right when the mayor confirmed all her suspicions.  She immediately pressed her arm against Faith to hold her back inside the office, only briefly allowing herself to be distracted by how firm her abs felt against Buffy’s arm through the thin material of her top.  Just down the hall, the mayor had exited a nearby office, and with him was a familiar face.  The overly well-dressed vampire known as Mr. Trick.  Faith struggled against Buffy’s arm, but she kept the other Slayer inside the office.  Faith’s feud with Trick could wait—now wasn’t a good time for the two Slayers who had accidentally killed the deputy mayor to get caught sneaking around city hall.  They ducked back into the office before the two men could see them.  Buffy quickly moved to open the office’s window, and they snuck back out of the building.

Once there was some distance between them and city hall, Faith spoke up again.  “So, the Mayor of Sunnydale is a Black Hat.  That's a shocker, huh?”

 _Black hat?_   Even when she was trying to play it cool, Faith was a dork.  Buffy almost smiled as she realized that even in such a dark couple of days, Faith could bring out a positive thought like that, just by being herself.  But the mayor maybe being evil totally gave Buffy the wiggins.  “Actually, **_yeah_**. I didn't get the bad guy vibe off of him.”  _He seemed so wholesome._

Faith shot her a pitying look, and Buffy really didn’t care for it.  “When are you gonna learn, B?  It doesn't matter what kinda vibe you get off a person.  Cuz nine times out of ten, the face they're showing you ain’t the real one.”

The retort was across her lips before she could think better of it.  “I guess you know a lot about that.”  Buffy immediately regretted saying it, but she also really didn’t want to back down from this version of Faith.  _I’m not as naïve as she thinks I am._

Faith stopped and faced Buffy, her eyes wide and challenging even as her lips twisted into a worrisome smirk.  “What’s that supposed to mean, B?”

“It just …”  _Crap, this isn’t how I want the conversation to go._   Buffy didn’t know how to get herself out of this discussion.  “Faith, look at you.  Less than twenty-four hours ago, you killed a man. A-and now—”  Faith eyed her cockily, as if daring her to say it, and Buffy hated herself as she rose to the challenge. “Now, it's all zip-a-dee-doo-dah?   ** _This_** —” Buffy gestured wildly in Faith’s general direction, “—isn’t **_your_** real face, and I know it.  Look, I know what you're feeling because I'm feeling it, too.”

Faith took a step back, and Buffy could see the internal conflict, the war between her two selves being waged behind the cool girl façade.  Buffy hated that the defensive self won out.  “Do you?” she asked, demeanor suddenly all snark and mockery.  “Hell, go ahead and fill me in then.  I’d like to hear this.”

“Faith, please,” Buffy pled, trying to keep the anger out of her voice.  “I saw you last night.  You work so hard to keep me out, but I know you.  Better than anyone else in town, anyway.  I know you’re not okay.  I know you feel like I do, dirty.  Like something sick creeped inside you and you can't get it out.  And you keep hoping that it was just some nightmare, but it ** _wasn't_**.  And we are gonna have to figure out—"

“Buffy!” Faith interrupted her rambling, and she was a little caught off guard by the use of her name.  Faith’s eyes smoldered, but Buffy didn’t think it was her that Faith was angry at.  “You don’t know me half as well as you think.  You don’t know where I come from, and you don’t know what I’ve been through.  You **_don’t_** know me.”  She turned and started to walk away.

 _But I want to, can’t you see that?_   “Just let me talk to Giles, okay?  I swear—”

Faith turned back, finger pointing aggressively at Buffy as she shouted, “Fuck that, B.  No!  We’re not bringin’ **_anybody_** else into this, and especially not that sack of shit.”  Buffy winced.  Things were still uneasy with Giles, but as angry as she was at him, deep down Buffy still trusted her former Watcher.  Even if she hated herself a little for doing so.  She hadn’t realized how much rage Faith was carrying around, just under the surface.  “You gotta keep your head, B.  This is all gonna blow over in a few days.”

 _No it isn’t_ , Buffy thought, but she knew Faith didn’t want to hear that.  Instead, she posed it as a question, desperately trying to find some strategy that would bring back the softer Faith who had opened up to her on a couple of occasions.  “And if it doesn't?”

Faith shrugged.  “If it doesn't, they got a freighter leaving the docks at least twice a day. It ain't fancy, but it’ll get me gone.”  Buffy couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  _She wants to run._ Not an unannounced walkabout.  Not this time.  Faith was thinking about leaving for good.  Buffy felt as though her stomach had dropped out of her body.

“And that's it? You just live with it? You see the dead guy in your head every day for the rest of your life?” 

Faith got right in her face this time, and it couldn’t have felt more disconcertingly different than the last time Faith’s lips were this close to her own.  “Buffy, I'm not gonna **_see_** anything.  I missed the mark last night and I'm **_sorry_** about the guy.  I really am!  But it **_happens_**!”  Buffy didn’t believe for a second that this wouldn’t haunt Faith if she ran now.  The brunette needed to deal with this, needed to let Buffy help her, but she was so firmly in denial now.  _How had she turned so quickly?_  Faith continued, and it was clear to Buffy that she was trying every bit as hard to convince herself as she was Buffy.  “Anyway, how many people do you think we've **_saved_** by now, thousands?  And didn't you stop the world from ending?  Because in my book, that puts you and me in the plus column.” 

 “Faith this isn’t some utilitarian math equation.  And you don’t have to try and justify it!  You made a mistake, that’s all.  But just because we help people doesn't mean we can do whatever we want.”

 “Why not?” Faith roared.  “The guy I offed was no Gandhi.  I mean, we just saw he was mixed up in dirty dealings.  For all we know, he and the Mayor are the latest Big Bads, and we’re halfway to stopping the next apocalypse.”

“Maybe,” Buffy agreed, but she was so uneasy with the vehemence with which Faith was now defending herself.  “But he was still human.  He had a **_soul_** , Faith.”

The laughter that escaped Faith was dark and ominous.  “What **_is_** it with you and this fascination with souls?  I know you’ve had it good in your life, B, but lemme just be very clear about some shit.  You live the life I’ve lived, and you start to see real quick that souls don’t mean **_shit_**.”  Buffy hadn’t seen this kind of ferocity in Faith’s eyes before, and honestly, it filled her with dread.  “We fight demons and soulless fiends every night, and that’s fine.  Big picture, that’s what makes us different.  We’re warriors, built to kill.  But if you think **_that_** is evil, you don’t have a fuckin’ clue.  Soulless demons killin’ people is just fuckin’ nature.  Or super-nature.  Whatever.  That ain’t evil—they’re doin’ what they were built for, same as us.  Evil is what humans do to each other.  Evil is havin’ a soul and still beatin’ your wife and daughter within an inch of their lives.  Evil is forcin’ a girl to survive on her own before she’s even had her first period.  Don’t fuckin’ talk to me like you have any fuckin’ clue, B.”  Faith’s eyes widened as she realized how much she had just admitted to Buffy, and she immediately turned and took off at a dead sprint.

Buffy was dumbfounded.  She felt like she’d been hit with a Mack truck.  _Shit.  I really **don’t** know her.  But that doesn’t change the fact that she needs me._   Buffy simply had no clue how she could get through to the now increasingly unstable and unpredictable Slayer. 

~~~~

_I have to know.  I can’t take it with all the secrets anymore._   Steeling herself, Buffy knocked on the side doors of Willow’s house, the ones that opened directly into her bedroom.  They exchanged an awkward greeting, then Buffy told Willow that she needed to talk to her. 

Willow immediately looked on edge, but she meekly said, “Good.”  She closed the door behind Buffy.  “Cuz I’ve been letting things fester, and I don’t like it.”  She sat on her bed and looked at Buffy nervously.  “I wanna be fester-free.”

Apparently the thing Willow had been letting fester was the same thing that Buffy had wanted to talk about: Faith.  “I mean, don't get me wrong.  I-I completely understand why you and Faith have been doing the bonding thing.  You guys work together.  You... You should get along.  B-but there’s more to it than that, and I’m not sure you—"

“Believe me, Willow, I’m well aware of how complicated things are between me and Faith,” Buffy said wryly, working to keep the hurt out of her voice.

Willow’s eyes widened, but she kept going.  “B-but it isn’t **_just_** that!  It’s the whole 'Slayers only' attitude that’s really been ticking me off!  I mean, since when wouldn't I understand?  You, you talk to me about **_everything_**.  And ever since she followed you from LA, I-it's like I-I'm not cool enough for you because I can't kill things with my bare hands—”

The thought of Faith killing something—no, **_someone_** —with her bare hands was too much for Buffy.  The weight of everything finally crashed down on her, and she burst into tears. 

“Oh!  Oh, Buffy!  Don't cry.”  Buffy crumpled down onto the bed beside her, and Willow wrapped her up in a warm embrace.  “I'm sorry.  I-I was too hard on you.”  Even through the tears, Buffy couldn’t help but chuckle at that.  Only Willow could think one stern complaint was going too hard on someone.  “Sometimes I unleash.  I-I don't know my own strength. I-i-it's bad. I-I-I'm bad. I'm a bad, bad, bad person.”

“No, you’re not, Will.”  Buffy looked up at her friend through the cloudy haze of tears.  “Faith’s in trouble.”  She broke down and told Willow everything.  How Faith had been more aggressive since returning to Sunnydale, how Buffy had fed off of that energy in the wake of her big disillusionment with Giles and the Council, and how things had all come to a head and everything had become so horribly twisted when Faith had accidentally staked a human in that alley.  The only part Buffy left out was the almost kiss, and all the weird energy and unresolved tension that had led up to it.  She wasn’t sure how to explain that part, and at this point, it **_so_** didn’t matter.

“Last night, she just seemed broken.  She wouldn’t even let me talk to her about it, but I could see the guilt and horror weighing down on her.  But today … Will, it’s like she’s a different person.  She’s completely shut me out, and I don’t know why.  She’s acting like it doesn’t faze her, but I know it does.  I **_saw_** it.”  Buffy almost told her the last thing Faith had said before running off, but she couldn’t do that to Faith.  She was sure that the other Slayer hadn’t meant to get so honest about her past, even in the vague terms she used.  Buffy had no right to just go sharing Faith’s baggage with everyone.

“Buffy, she’s probably just in shock.”  Willow was looking at her hands now, and there was something more behind those words.  Suddenly Buffy remembered what she had been so dead set on asking when she walked over here.   “Will, I **_need_** to know why Faith left town after Christmas.  And why you were the only person she told?”  Buffy needed this answer.  Nothing was making sense to her right then.

“Ugh.  I promised … but … it sounds like you need everything out in the open, and Faith definitely needs your help, even if she refuses to see it right now.”  Willow moved away from Buffy so that she could face her, and this was just about as nervous as Buffy had ever seen her friend.  “So … Faith likes you.  Like … **_likes_** you, likes you.”  When Buffy just kept waiting for her to continue, without any actual reaction, Willow’s eyes turned to saucers.  “Which … apparently you already figured out,” she squeaked awkwardly.

 “Yeah, Will.  I’ve known for a while now.  I’m just surprised that she admitted it to you—it’s not like she’s ever actually said anything to me about how she feels.  But why—”  Buffy’s mind began to race.  **_Christmas._**   “She saw me with Angel!”  Buffy couldn’t believe that her mom had lied about where Faith was that night, especially after the other Slayer went and disappeared on them for nearly a month.  But then again, it wasn’t like Buffy explained what had happened with Angel either.

“Yeah, that’s my guess.  Faith wasn’t real forthcoming with information, surprise surprise, but yeah, whatever happened with you and Angel, it was enough to send her away.  She tried to hide it, but I could tell she was hurt.”

“But why?”

“Why me?  Right right, well…  she asked me to help her find you the perfect Christmas present, and I sorta figured out that she had a big ole crush on you.  I … maybe that’s why she told me she was leaving.  She thought I was the only one who might understand.  A-and I don’t think she could trust herself to be around you right then.”

Buffy’s mind continued to race.  A big part of the reason she’d gotten back together with Angel was because she’d felt like he was the only person who was always in her corner.  Maybe she hadn’t quite realized it at the time, but she felt way abandoned by Faith, and it hurt her a lot.  Buffy wasn’t exactly sure what sort of feelings she might have for the other Slayer, and especially not now, given how strained their relationship had become in the last day.  But …if Faith had just told her how she felt, instead of running away, would things have been different?

She honestly didn’t know.

“So … I mean, do you…”  Willow gulped, and Buffy almost cracked a grin at how tentatively she was trying to ask the obvious question.  “I-It’s just … when I walked into your bedroom yesterday—” _wow, had it really only been yesterday?_ “—you two seemed, ya know, **_really_** close, and—”

“We almost kissed,” Buffy admitted, her voice barely a whisper.  She bit her lip, and her eyes darted away from Willow.  She couldn’t quite believe she had just said it out loud.  To another person.

“W-w-wow.  So you … I mean, you like her back then?”

“I don’t know!”  She really didn’t.  She knew how her body felt when she was around Faith, especially after a good fight.  But … “I’ve never … I mean, I’m not …”  Buffy felt like an idiot.  She had no idea how to just say what she was thinking.  “I’m not all, you know, with the getting all head over heels about other girls.  I’ve always been all swoony just over the boys, right?  But … Faith and I have this connection.  I don’t know what it is.  I’m kinda terrified to find out.”

She pushed off the bed and began to pace.  “Besides, I’m with Angel again, and I know that’s not perfect, but it’s safe and familiar and now Faith’s all—”

“Crazy killer chick who can’t be honest about her feelings?”  Willow’s words were honest, but harsh against Buffy’s ears.

Buffy jumped to her defense.  “Faith’s **_not_** a killer.  She made a mistake.”  She stopped her pacing and faced Willow again.  “I just wish she would talk to me.  I know what she’s going through, and maybe I’m the only one who does.

Willow leaned in a little and asked softly, “What do you mean?”

“You remember Ted?”  Willow nodded, frowning at the mention of the psychotic robot who had briefly been engaged to Joyce Summers.  “Will, I accidentally killed him.”

“B-b-but he was a rob—”

“I **_know_** he was a robot, but in the moment, when I fought him and then shoved him down those steps, I fully believed he was human.  When Mom felt for his pulse and told me he was dead, he was human.  As far as I knew.  I had to deal with the fact that I had killed—I **_murdered_** —a human being because I let my emotions, my rage and my Slayer impulses, get the better of me.” 

She gave Willow a long, lingering look, and she could see comprehension dawning in those bright eyes.  “I can still remember all my feelings of self-hatred.  Feeling like I was an irredeemable monster.  That realization of how dangerous I am, just by being who I am, and what sort of darkness I’m really capable of if I let myself get out of control.  Hating the fact that Mom forgave me, and feeling like I didn’t deserve anyone’s love or forgiveness.”  Buffy teared up again.  “That’s the place Faith is in now, and she doesn’t have any kind of support system at all.  And unfortunately for her, the deputy mayor wasn’t a robot, even if he might not have been a great guy either.”

She thought briefly about Faith’s argument that whether someone had a soul wasn’t the bright-line rule between right and wrong that Buffy wanted to believe it was, and she felt even more lost.  Maybe Faith was right about that, but if so, that only meant Buffy was that much less sure of how to help her.  “I just wish I knew what to do.”

Willow’s answer was gentle, but firm.  “Buffy, I know things are still rough, but I really think you just have to go to Giles.  He'll know what to do.”  Buffy had suggested the same thing to Faith earlier, and she hated the idea as much now as she had then.  But Willow was right.  If anyone might know how to get them through this mess, it was Giles.  And she at least knew he wasn’t going to go blabbing to the Council or the police.

She just hoped Faith wouldn’t freak out on her again.

~~~~

Giles met her at the library.  She still didn’t feel comfortable being in his home, and the school at least felt like neutral ground.  As she stepped into his office, he turned in his chair to face her.  She felt the same hurt deep in her gut that she always felt when she looked at his face these days.  But this wasn’t about him, or her many, many daddy issues.  This was about Faith.

“You and me are still not okay, but this is too big for me to—”  She blew out a frustrated breath.  “I need your help, and I don’t think anyone else can help at this point.”  He nodded, the familiar look of guilt and pain etched across his features.  “But you have to promise me that this stays between you and me.  No talking to the Watchers, and especially not the new guy.”

“Of course, Buffy.”  His answer was wary, but sincere. 

She searched his eyes for a couple more moments, wanting to be sure she believed him.  Ultimately, Buffy felt sure that his loyalties lay with her—his guilt over what he did to her was very real, and in the end, he had sided with her over the Council.  She was nowhere near ready to forgive and forget, but she at least trusted that he wouldn’t betray her again.  So, she launched into her confession.

“The deputy mayor, t-that … was **_us_**.”  Shock rose behind Giles’ thin spectacles, but he didn’t interrupt.  “Faith and I were fighting our way through the back alleys to get to Balthazar, and vampires kept jumping out at us.  From around corners, behind dumpsters.  It was … hectic a-and then he just … Faith was a step ahead of me, and we went around a corner, and he was just **_there_**.  She reacted, and …”  Buffy couldn’t say it, but she didn’t think she had to.

“Faith killed the deputy mayor.”  It was a mere repeating of fact, not a question, and Buffy couldn’t quite get a good hold on what Giles’ tone meant.

“It’s not her fault, Giles,” Buffy insisted.  The last thing she wanted to do was throw Faith under the bus or give the impression that the other Slayer had done anything wrong.  She was here to help Faith, not condemn her.  “We both thought it was a vampire. Neither of us realized it until he didn’t dust like the others.”

Buffy hated that she could hear how close her voice was to breaking again, hated that she was on the verge of tears.  She was beyond wary of showing weakness around Watchers, even former ones.  But he immediately tried to ease her mind.  “Buffy, this is not the first time something like this has happened.

“It’s not?” she gasped, the tiniest bit of relief flooding through her.

He leaned towards her, hands clasped in front of him.  He was trying hard to reassure her now.  “The Slayer is on the front line of a nightly war.  Now, it's, it's tragic, but accidents have happened.”  Buffy felt a little stupid, because of course it had happened before.  There were centuries of Slayers before her, all fighting this unending battle against evil.  Of course there had been accidents.  Casualties of war.  The thought simply hadn’t occurred to her.

“So … how do these things normally get handled?  It’s not like we can just explain to the police that we’re Slayers.”

“Well, the Council investigates, um, metes out punishment if punishment is due—”

“Giles, no!” Buffy didn’t mean to shout, but she was immediately pissed at him again.  “You **_just_** promised me—”

“Buffy, no.  I swear it to you, I won’t involve them, unless you want me to.  Frankly, it's probably the last thing Faith needs at the moment.  She's unstable.  Erratic.  Prone to violence.”  There was something dark behind his words, almost like fear.  It was suddenly very clear to Buffy that Giles did not trust Faith, but she had no idea why.

“She's freaking.  So, so … then we just have to help her deal, right?”  Buffy wasn’t sure what Giles was thinking, but she really didn’t want this to get out of hand.  She started to worry if maybe it wasn’t the best idea to involve him.

“Well now, there’s no helping her unless she admits what she’s done,” he insisted.  “That’s assuming she even wants help.”  He stood, eyes flashing with what she could clearly see now was fear.  “Buffy, I know that you might not see it, but Faith is dangerous.  She isn’t like you.  She doesn’t have the same restraint.  There’s something broken in her, and I fear that this might get out of hand if we do not act swiftly.”

Buffy was stunned.  She didn’t know how to respond to that.  “She’s … I know that she isn’t handling this well.  She completely went off on me a couple of times today, and it’s like … sometimes it feels like she’s a caged animal.  I can see it in her eyes…”  But that was understandable, now that Buffy knew what she knew about Faith’s background.  Even that tiny sliver of information explained so much about Faith and how she acted most of the time.  How easy it was for her to find reasons not to trust anyone.

Suddenly Buffy was frustrated at Giles again.  “You don’t **_know_** her like I do.  You don’t know what she’s been through, and you certainly don’t have any right to judge her after the things you’ve done.  She needs our help right now, not our judgment.”  He immediately backed down in the face of her fervor, and Buffy pressed her advantage.  “I’ll get through to her, I just need time.  In the meantime, you can get to work on figuring out what big evil the mayor is involved in.”

“The mayor?” Giles asked, bewildered.

“Yeah, that’s what Faith and I discovered tonight.  The mayor of Sunnydale is best buds with our old friend Mr. Trick, and they’re lookin’ to cover up whatever they’re doing.  Finch’s office was stripped clean.”

“Well, that’s certainly concerning.”

“Understatement much?”

Giles cleared his throat.  “Perhaps tomorrow I can work with Willow on trying to get access to the mayor’s files.  We’ll see what we can dig up.  I leave Faith up to you.  Just please—” he touched her arm, but pulled his hand back when she flinched, “—please, just be careful.” 

“I’m not afraid of Faith, Giles.  Maybe you don’t believe in her, but I do.”  She turned but stopped at the door to the office.  “Just remember, **_no one_** can know about this.  She’s fragile right now, and I bet she’ll be easily spooked.  She needs all the support she can get right now.  Promise me you won’t make this worse.”

“You have my word.”  She nodded once, then she was off again.  Buffy hoped that maybe by now Faith would’ve found her way back home, and the two of them could talk in the nice peaceful environment of Faith’s bedroom.    

~~~~

It had been a while since Faith ran off, and Buffy still wasn’t back.  She hated herself for going off on B like that.  Worse, she’d let herself get out of control.  She always felt things so strongly around Buffy, but she never wanted it to get that far.  She didn’t want her to know about all the shit in her past.  She couldn’t stand the idea of Buffy pitying her.

But she wasn’t cool with the way they left things.  Faith felt like she was drowning, and she hated that she was lashing out at Buffy.  Pushing her away when deep down all she wanted to do was curl up in the warm embrace of the other Slayer’s arms and cry her eyes out.  _What the fuck is wrong with me?  She’s the only one watchin’ my back, and she just wants to help._

Faith needed to apologize.  As terrifying as it felt to be vulnerable, she could stand the idea of letting all her bullshit get between whatever thing was growing between her and Buffy.  _Screw it._   She pushed herself off the bed, grabbed her jacket, and headed back out into the night. 

Buffy had mentioned wanting to talk to Giles, and while Faith was still adamantly opposed to that insane idea, she figured the library was as good a place as any to start looking.  She made good time and snuck into the darkened high school without any issue.  As she slipped in through the double doors of the library, she could hear Buffy and Giles talking in his office.

Buffy was shouting, pissed at Giles about something he had promised her.

His response was quieter, but incredibly tense.  “Buffy, no.  I swear it to you, I won’t involve them, unless you want me to.  Frankly, it's probably the last thing Faith needs at the moment.  She's unstable.  Erratic.  Prone to violence.”  _Fuck you, G.  Just cuz I pushed you around a little… you deserved so much worse._ Faith’s mood was already starting to sour again.  But surely Buffy wouldn’t side with this asshat.  Not after the shit he pulled.

Except that’s basically what she did.  “She's freaking,” Buffy whispered, and Faith could hear the fear in her voice.  She couldn’t tell if the other Slayer was afraid **_of_** her or afraid **_for_** her.  Either way, Faith didn’t love it.  “So, so … then we just have to help her deal, right?”  She breathed a quiet sigh of relief.  _B **does** have my back still.  I think._  Part of her felt like she should announce her presence, instead of skulking around, eavesdropping in the shadows.  But she didn’t wanna deal with G’s bullshit right then.  She’d come looking for Buffy.  And only Buffy.

“Well now, there’s no helping her unless she admits what she’s done,” Giles insisted, again raising Faith’s hackles.  “That’s assuming she even wants help.”  His voice was getting more aggressive now, and she wanted to kick his ass all the more.  _He’s tryin’ to turn B against me._   “Buffy, I know that you might not see it, but Faith is **_dangerous_**.  She isn’t like you.  She doesn’t have the same restraint.  There’s something broken in her, and I fear that this might get out of hand if we do not act swiftly.”

Faith couldn’t breathe.  Her fists tightened, knuckles white and nails threatening to break skin, as she waited.  She wanted, **_needed_** , Buffy to defend her.  But what she said was, “She’s … I know that she isn’t handling this well.  She completely went off on me a couple of times today, and it’s like … sometimes it feels like she’s a caged animal.”  _An animal._   Faith’s heart sank.  “I can see it in her eyes…”  The other girl’s voice trailed off, and Faith had heard enough.  She turned on a dime, bitterly fighting the hot tears forming under her eyes.  Her chest ached with an overwhelming cocktail of emotions.  She felt embarrassed, misunderstood, pissed off, betrayed, terrified, and murderous all at once.

Without any awareness of where she was going, Faith’s legs carried her stiffly out of the school.  All her energy was focused on keeping the tears at bay.  Because goddammit, she refused to show that kind of weakness right then.  She was alone, just like she had been her entire life, and her only armor against the world was her strength.  Her power.  Her anger.  Faith Lehane would not be reduced to some lost crying little girl.  She’d had enough of that the night before.

She was so out of it that she nearly fell on her ass when she collided with him.  Faith caught herself— _thanks, Slayer reflexes_ —but immediately bristled when she saw who she’d accidentally run into.  _I so fucking don’t need this,_ she thought angrily as she looked at the big dumb eyes of Buffy’s mopey vampire paramour.  _Or hey, maybe this is **exactly** what I need._

Without thinking about it, Faith let all her inner rage, frustration, and fear explode out of her, flowing through her fist as it caught Angel squarely in the jaw.  Her sucker punch caught him entirely off guard, and he collapsed to the ground at the force of it.  “Watch where you’re goin’ next time, asshole,” she sneered, turning to walk off in another direction.  If she stayed, if she heard whatever lame comeback he had for her, she didn’t know what she might do.  For all her inner fury and emotional turmoil, she really didn’t want to do anything else she might later regret.  She’d had enough of that for one week.

Unfortunately, he had to snap back at her before she had walked more than three steps.  “That the best you got, Slayer?”  Faith froze, not quite sure she could believe what she just heard.  _Why is **everyone** tryin’ to pick a fight with me today?_   She didn’t need much goading.  She’d wanted to kick the shit out of Angel ever since his undead ass had popped back out of hell.

“Dude, you **_so_** don’t want a piece of me right now, trust me.”  She was already advancing on him slowly, body itching for some more violence.  _Wonder if he knows his girl nearly kissed me yesterday._

He just stood there, glowering.  Trying to pretend like his jaw wasn’t in a whole mess of pain right then.  “You’re the one who hit me.  But if you wanna go for round two, I’ve got no problem defending myself.”

Faith was so fucking tired of everything.  Buffy was willing to trust every man who’d ever hurt her more than the girl who’d always had her back.  Buffy apparently thought she was some sort of wild animal.  Something to be afraid of.  ‘Cept the only wild animal around these parts was the fucking vampire she was actually dating, while she jerked the damaged girl in her house around without a care.  _Well fuck it.  Let’s show B what happens when a couple of wild animals who fuckin’ hate each other go at it._

All the hurt and anger boiled within her past the point of no return, and she charged.  Angel was a big guy, and he was an old enough vampire to be extremely dangerous.  But he had nothing on Faith’s speed, agility, and most importantly, her rage.  Faith wasn’t just a Slayer in this moment, nor was she something so trivial as a rabid dog.  She was a fucking force of nature, and she was damn sure Angel was going to feel her fury.

He sidestepped her charge, but she was ready for his counter, ducking forward under his swing to land on her hands and bring her feet up behind her, kicking him in that same part of his jaw as she flipped her entire body forward.  Angel was stunned, and she couldn’t help that she savored the stupid fucking look on his face.  But she savored it just a bit too long, and now he was coming at her.  They scuffled briefly, and she gave into the deep well of emotion desperate to burst out of her. 

In that moment, Faith understood the phrase ‘seeing red,’ and it almost felt like her vision had gotten a little more monotone as rational thought was replaced by pure instinct, action and reaction.  Her whole body vibrated with the intensity of her feelings, and she was no longer in control of herself.  She flung Angel to the ground, and then leapt on top of him in an instant.  But he had just enough time to get his feet up, and he kicked her roughly off of him.  She flew a good four or five feet backwards, but she landed on her feet, one hand on the ground to steady herself.

As Faith brought her head back up to face Angel again, she shrieked a loud war cry, full of hatred and venom.  Unfortunately for her, all that emotion was as much a distraction as it was a source of energy, and the last thing she saw as she moved to charge him again was the stone he was bringing down forcefully against her skull.  Then everything went dark.

~~~~

Faith awoke to a pounding headache and the cold hard weight of shackles around her wrists.  In an annoying twist of irony, Mr. ‘I’m Not Evil Just Cuz I Have A Soul’ had fucking chained her up in vamp mansion, same as she and Buffy had done to him when he turned up all feral in the woods months ago.  _Kinky,_ she snarked to herself, trying not to completely lose it.

She caught sight of Angel across the room, and she quirked an eyebrow at him, summoning all the loathing and mockery she could muster through her headache as she taunted, “Finally decided to tie me up, huh?  I always knew you weren't really a one-Slayer guy.”  He rolled his eyes, which was an expression she hadn’t realized he was capable of, and Faith was immediately frustrated that she couldn’t easily get under his skin.

“Sorry about the chains.  It’s not that I don’t trust you—”  He leered back at her, seeming to savor his victory over her.  “Actually, it **_is_** that I don’t trust you.”  He stood and walked over to her slowly, before kneeling down in front of her, just out of reach.  “I bet you’re not too big on trust, now are you, Faith?”

She grimaced.  “You gonna shrink me now?  Is that it?”  _Fuck this guy and his goddamn superiority complex.  Like I wasn’t there when you went all cuckoo and tried to off yourself in the bright sunlight._

“No,” he growled, trying and failing to sound conciliatory.  “I just wanna talk.”

“Oh yeah?” she challenged, leaning in hard on her sneering bad girl persona.  It didn’t take much for her to imagine all the same horrific flaws in this guy that she’d seen in just about every other man she’d ever known.  “That’s what they all say.  And then it’s just ‘lemme stay the night, won’t try anything.’”

Angel didn’t react at all.  “You wanna go the long way around, hey, I can do that.”  He stood and began to walk away.  “I’m not getting any older.”  He continued out the side door into the garden, and while she couldn’t see out there, she could still hear.  These fucking idiots always seemed to forget about Slayer hearing, even though they’d all known Buffy for years.

Except it was Buffy herself who caused Faith’s heart to leap into her throat when she realized the other Slayer was out in the garden right then.  “How’s she doing?” the blonde asked her big fucking hero of a boyfriend, as if they were helping her out instead of holding her prisoner.

“It's like talking to a wall.  Only you get more from a wall.”  _Like I’m gonna open up to the asshole who’s dating the girl I’m fallin’ for.  Fuck off._

“But you’ll keep trying, right?”  Faith couldn’t understand why Buffy would think Angel, of all people, could get through to her, but even so, some treacherous part of her couldn’t avoid noticing the concern in Buffy’s voice.

“Sure,” Angel answered, and Faith could hear the contrast in how little he cared.  “We’re just getting started.”  _Lemme outta these chains, and I’ll show you getting’ started._   Faith struggled against her shackles, testing the strength of them.  They were firm.

“I trust you.  Whether she realizes it or not, I think you two have more in common than either of you realize.  She won’t talk to me, and at this point, I’m willing to try anything.”  That caught Faith’s attention.  She doubted she had anything in common with that lifeless monster, soul or no.  But again, she felt intense guilt at throwing up her walls so firmly against Buffy.  “Just …”  Buffy paused, and she sounded as if she was afraid of Angel’s reaction to what was on her mind.  “Please … don’t make this about us.  Don’t let your jealousy— ** _yes_** , I’m well aware of why you and Faith have never liked each other, even if it took me entirely too long to figure it out.  Just … this is her life.  This is more important than any of that.  She deserves a chance to work through this.  Please, **_please_** Angel, don’t make this any worse.” 

Faith was completely dumbfounded, and she had no idea how to interpret what Buffy was saying.  It sure sounded like she cared, deeply, but Faith was there just … however many minutes ago … when Buffy had told Giles she was a wild animal who needed to be controlled.  The two of them had been debating how best to contain her, to punish her for her mistake.  She was sure of it.  _Leave it to B to always bring it with the mixed signals.  That girl had no fuckin’ clue what she really wanted, and that’s the problem._

Angel hadn’t responded to Buffy, and she quickly added, “If this is gonna take a while, I’m gonna go let Mom know what’s going on.  Grab a change of clothes for Faith, maybe some food and pillows.  I get why you have her chained up, but she shouldn’t have to be any more uncomfortable than absolutely necessary.  I need her to know that we’re on her side.”

“That’s a good idea,” Angel admitted.

“I’ll be right back,” Buffy said, and then she was gone.  A small, stupid thrill shot through Faith at the thought that she hadn’t kissed him goodbye.  Except that she wasn’t quite gone, and Angel softly called her back.

“Buffy!  Look … I don’t want you to get your hopes up.  She may not want our help.”

“You’re wrong,” Buffy snapped back immediately.  “She does.  She just doesn't know how to say it.”

“She killed a man. That changes everything for her.”  Again, it was blatantly obvious to Faith that Angel was trying to manipulate Buffy and turn her against Faith, just like Giles had tried.  She really hated men. 

But this time, Buffy actually stood up for her.  “Angel, it was an accident.  If I was a couple of steps faster, it would’ve been me.  Neither of us realized he was human until it was too late.  She isn’t a murderer, and you’re not going to treat her like one.  Are you sure you’re up for this?”

There was a tense silence for several moments, then Angel said, “Yeah.  It’s worth a shot, right?  I’ve killed more than my fair share of people.  None was an accident, but I wasn’t myself then either.  At the very least, I know what it’s like to carry the guilt and pain and self-hatred of having committed a terrible act you can never, ever take back.”  Faith could hear some movement but wasn’t sure what it was.  “And if nothing else, maybe she’ll get annoyed with me, and be more willing to listen to you instead.”

Buffy chuckled at that suggestion, and Faith quickly fought the annoying grin that spread across her lips at the sound of it.  “I’ll be back.  Please take care of her.”  This time she did leave, but Angel didn’t seem in a hurry to reenter the mansion.

Her eyes followed him, unblinking, when he finally did come back.  She didn’t bother hiding how much she disliked him.  He looked conflicted, and she knew that deep down he wanted nothing more than to take advantage of her compromised position.  She knew he thought he was better than her, and that he saw her as a threat to his relationship with Buffy.  But he was docile enough to stick to his word at least.

“I know what you’re going through, Faith.”

“That so?” she asked skeptically.  “That why you think one little slip up changes everything for me?”  His eyes widened.  “It’s crazy how everyone seems to forget how good Slayer hearin’ is.”

He grimaced.  “So you heard all of that?”

“Heard enough to know you’re just goin’ along with this because B cares about me.  Bet that drives you insane, huh?”

Angel sighed, which was pretty unnerving for Faith, considering that vampires didn’t breathe.  _Is he … putting on a show of expressiveness just so he seems that much more mopey?  Seriously, fuck this guy._   “I’m not gonna get into that with you, Faith.  And I don’t really give a damn—you can believe me or not, but I **_do_** know what’s going on with you.”

“Join the club,” she spat, tired of being psychoanalyzed.  “Everybody seems to have a theory.”

Angel studied her, and Faith hated that he did actually seem to understand.  She kept looking for that familiar jealousy and hatred he often directed at her through subtle glances, but none of it was there now.  “Not too concerned with everyone else, and I’m pretty sure you aren’t either.  But **_I_** know what it's like to take a life.  To feel a future, a world of possibilities, snuffed out by your own hand.  I know the power in it.  The exhilaration.  It was like a drug for me.”

Faith’s gut twisted into a knot.  Her first instinct was to taunt him, to tell him what a sick fuck he was.  But her chest tightened in terror at his words.  She knew what he meant, and that was what had so sickened her last night.  It was why she had scrubbed her hands raw for a good twenty minutes.  It was why she owed Mrs. Summers a new wall in the shower stall. 

As much as it disgusted her, some part of her had been thrilled with the power of ending someone who wasn’t just a reanimated demon corpse.  That feeling had only grown when she found out he was a bad dude.  Some part of her could just pretend that the weak, pathetic human form she had ended was Pat Lehane instead of Deputy Mayor Allan Finch, and she definitely couldn’t ignore the sheer electric pleasure of that thought.

She wasn’t about to admit any of that to Angel, though.  She couldn’t stand the idea of Buffy finding out that she had such disgusting, monstrous thoughts.  That she was capable of that.  Buffy could never, ever know.  So, she threw Angel’s admission back in his face.  “Yeah?  Sounds like you need some help.  A professional maybe.”

Remarkably, he kept his cool.  “A professional couldn't have helped me.  It stopped when I got my soul back.  My human heart.”  Faith was stunned by that.  Angel had just admitted that Angelus wasn’t some entirely other person, some immoral demon he had no control over.  Angelus and Angel were the same, it’s just that Angel was aware of how fucked up he was.  How was it that Angel could see the truth about himself, but Buffy couldn’t?

Still, she had no intention of trading horror stories with the guy. “Look, I’m really over the whole ‘blame it on the soullessness’ talk, so if you’re about done, could you let me out of these things?”  She held out her shackled hands, feigning plaintiveness.

Angel’s brow furrowed, and she could tell she was starting to wear on his nerves now.  “Faith, you have a choice.  You've tasted something few ever do.”  He stood and began to pace.  “I mean, to kill without remorse is to feel like a god.”

Faith bit her lip, hard, to avoid shrieking at him that she felt nothing **_but_ ** remorse.  Instead, she fought against the chains, snarking casually, “Right now, all I feel is a cramp in my wrist, so let me go!”  She hated how close he was to the truth, even if he was being super melodramatic and self-important.

He kept going, as if she hadn’t interrupted him, and Faith would’ve kicked him repeatedly in the head if she could right then.  “But you're not a god.  You're not much more than a child.”  She sneered at him, pointedly.  _Oh yeah, well B’s not even a year older than me, and you’re fuckin’ dating her, you creepy, predatory fuck._ “Going down this path will ruin you.  You can't imagine the price for true evil.” 

“:Fuck you, Angel!” she snapped, no longer able to keep her tongue under control.  “I’m **_not_** evil.  I’ll never **_be_** evil.  I’m not **_you_**.”

He recoiled back against that, and Faith hated herself a little.  Maybe the guy was actually trying to help.  But she had every right to hate him.  He was nothing but bad for Buffy, and he was a selfish asshole for not realizing it.  And he sure as fuck wasn’t going to be the person who helped her deal.

Just as Angel opened his mouth, presumably with a passive aggressive comeback of some sort, there was a loud pounding on the front door.  Before either of them could react, the door burst inward, and Wesley strode in, looking every bit the entitled British prick that he was, several guys dressed head to toe in black backing him up.  They tranqed Angel in seconds, and then Wes turned to her.

He knelt beside her, having taken the keys from Angel, and began to unlock her shackles.  Faith looked at him in bewilderment, pleased to have her wrists free but with no idea what he was playing at.  _Why would he—_

That’s when new chains were applied, these not attached to the walls.  Suddenly all three of the guys had their dart guns pointed at her.  “By order of the Watcher’s Council of Britain, I am exercising my authority and removing you to England—” he pulled her to her feet, and she considered whether getting tranqed was worth it to kick him in his dumb face, “—where you will accept the judgment of the disciplinary committee.”  He began to lead her outside, and she fought, just enough to give him trouble but not so much that they would insist on putting her down.  _Better chance of escaping if I stay awake._

He didn’t say another word to her until he and one of his Watcher cronies had shoved her into the back of a large truck, connecting her chains to a ring in the bench that they sat her down on.  The other two must have been up front, because the truck started up immediately and drove away.  Wesley eyed her warily for a minute or two, and she glared daggers back at him, not willing to show any weakness at all.  Then he sighed, and his stony demeanor broke a little.  “I’m sorry for the extreme measures—”

“Fuck you, Wes.  You’re not sorry.  All you entitled Watcher pricks are the same.”

“—Unfortunately, this is a rather extreme circumstance.”  Faith gave him a long, spiteful look.  Giles had promised Buffy he wouldn’t involve the Council unless she wanted him to.  So either he hated Faith so much that he was willing to break any lingering trust Buffy had for him, or Buffy had been full of shit when she told Angel that she wanted to help Faith.   Her head spun, and she wasn't sure if it was the earlier loss of consciousness or the sheer weight of the emotional burden she was under.

Wesley continued, “Nobody is rushing to judgment, but this is for your own good, Faith.  The first priority of the Council is to help you.”  At this point, Faith didn’t know who to trust, and she was about done waiting around for someone else to betray her.  _I fucked up, but I don’t deserve any of this shit.  And I’m sure as shit not letting these fucks judge me._   She pulled at the ring attaching her chains to the bench she was seated on, as hard as she could, and she felt it give way just a little.

“Ah, now, none of that,” Wesley clucked.  “Tighten her restraints.  Faith, there’s no point in fighting this.”  His crony moved to do just that, and Faith kicked out at his knee, then pressed down hard with her foot, trapping his skull between her boot and the floor. 

“Have to disagree with you on that one.  Now, unlock me, or I’ll pop this guy’s head like a grape.”  He shouted in pain as she pressed down, not wanting Wesley to doubt her sincerity and not much caring whether she hurt a Watcher.  Wesley’s eyes widened, but then she caught them darting to a large metal wrench off to the side.  “Don’t even think about it,” she warned, locking him in a glare that exposed all of her growing rage and confusion.  She held out her wrists, and he moved slowly to unlock them. 

“Faith, you can’t keep running—”  She hit him in the jaw, hard enough to send him flying back against the doors of the truck.  He reached for the wrench, but she was much faster than him.  She had hold of his hand before he could even get hold of the wrench.

“Wrong again, Wes,” she scolded, then headbutted him.  She used enough force to knock him out, but not quite enough to crack the front of his skull in.  Part of her thought it might be satisfying to kill this shithead, but she was still enough in her right mind to know that deep down she didn’t want to be that person.  Stepping over him, she kicked the doors open and leapt out into the night, rolling as she hit the pavement in an attempt to avoid injury.  As she got up, she watched the truck continue in its path towards, she assumed, the tiny Sunnydale airport, completely unaware that they’d lost their prisoner.  _Good riddance._

Once she got her bearings, she took off in a slightly more southern direction than where the Watchers were heading.  She needed to get to the docks and sneak onto a boat before anyone realized she had gotten away.  Faith hated leaving everything behind—Diana’s car, Buffy’s ax, what few clothes she had, and her comics—but there was no time to go back for anything, and she had a much better chance of escaping on a random boat than she would driving out of town.  After today, Faith Lehane needed to be dead.  She’d have to find a new identity.

It didn’t take her too long to make her way there, despite the sore muscles and slight headache that were still nagging her in the wake of her fight with Angel.  She needed to find a freighter that was leaving that night—it was too risky to wait it out onboard one and hope it left in the morning.  Someone would think to look there once they realized she’d escaped.

She paced down the pier, trying to act casual while checking out which ships had the most activity on them, this late at night.  Far as she could tell, there was only one.  But then a voice— ** _her_** voice—called out softly from behind her.  “It ain’t fancy, but it’ll get you gone.”  Buffy sounded sad and maybe a little defeated, and yet it almost made Faith smile to have her words tossed back at her.

Faith had been so focused on the goings on with the ships that she hadn’t been paying attention to the rest of the pier around her.  She turned to face the other Slayer.  “You don’t give up, do you?’

“Not on my friends, no.”  Faith bristled a little.

“That what we are, B?  Friends?”  The blonde blushed, and _yeah, she knows **exactly** what I’m talking about._

When she met her gaze, Buffy’s eyes were pleading.  “Yes, Faith.  At the very least, I thought we were friends.  You telling me I was wrong about that?”

 _At the very least?  Does she mean?  …  No.  She’s tellin’ me what she thinks I want to hear._ Faith didn’t know if Buffy wanted to turn her over to the Watchers or just keep her chained up in her boyfriend’s mansion while they took turns playing therapist, but either way, Faith was pretty sure whatever friendship they’d had—and whatever else they might’ve had—was pretty far gone from the realm of possibility at this point.  Things had spiraled too far out of control.

“Let me go, B.  It’s too late.”

“It’s **_not_** too late,” Buffy countered, and her voice sounded like it wanted to break a little.  “Faith, please, you can’t go on like this.”

“I scare you, don’t I, B?  ‘Fraid this animal might finally be free of her cage?”  She kept her voice thick and challenging, even as her chest ached with the pain of talking to Buffy like this.  But her defensiveness was the only armor Faith had left at this point, and Buffy’s words--her failure to defend Faith when Giles questioned her stability—had wounded Faith more than she had realized.

Buffy looked stunned.  Guilt flooded her features, maybe even shame, but her first reaction was pure shock that Faith had overheard that conversation.  Or at least, that’s how Faith interpreted the reaction.  _Tough shit, Blondie.  I see how you see me now._

She pressed the advantage, stalking ever closer to Buffy.  “I was always right about you though.  All these impulses I got, all the dark, twisty edges … you’ve got ‘em too.  That what bothers you so much about all this.”  Buffy looked uneasy, terrified of her words, and that’s how Faith knew she was hitting on something close to truth. “You know in your gut that we don’t need the law.  We **_are_** the law.”

Buffy took a step back.  “No,” she answered defensively.

“Yes,” Faith sneered.  “You know exactly what I’m talkin’ about cuz you have it in you, too.   I’ve seen it—you know I have!  You’ve got the lust.  And I’m not just talkin’ about screwin’ vampires.”  She couldn’t help twisting that knife, and she no longer cared how obvious it was that she was jealous.  She didn’t even care even that she was making things that much more difficult between her and Buffy.  Maybe that was for the best.  Maybe if she pissed Buffy off enough, she’d just let her go.

“Leave him out of this,” Buffy growled, and there it was, that darker edge that Faith was talking about.

“I’m not even gonna get into how fucked up that relationship is B, because deep down you know.  You don’t need me to tell you.  But you went back to him anyway.  You’re just as screwed up as me, but no one else seems to see it.”  Her gut twisted into about a thousand knots at the obvious pain she was causing Buffy, but she had to do this now.  She couldn’t see another way out anymore.  “See, you need me to toe the line around here because you’re afraid that if you get too close to me, you’ll go over it too, aren’t you, B?”

Faith paused, waiting to see if Buffy would try to argue, try to pretend that Faith wasn’t right.  Buffy’s eyes were still firmly focused on her feet, though.  Only a couple of feet separated them now.  “You can’t handle watching me living my own way, having a blast, because it tempts you!  You know it could **_be_** you!”  This really had nothing to do with Faith’s own inner turmoil about having killed that guy, which was the reason she found herself running now.  This was just Faith pushing the buttons she had to in order to get Buffy to let go.

And it looked like she’d pushed the right ones.  Buffy finally looked at her, emerald eyes burning, and she backhanded Faith right across the jaw.  It hurt like hell, but Faith played it off.  She took only a single step back, absorbing the force of it, then rubbed her jaw dramatically before licking her lips.

“There’s my girl,” Faith purred, hating herself for using the flirtation between her and Buffy in this way.  Except that some part of her did genuinely find the idea of fighting Buffy thrilling.  Sensual.  Erotic, even.  _How fucked up is that?_

Buffy took a step back, and the fire was gone in an instant.  “Faith—” her voice shook, and Faith didn’t understand why she had to make this so hard.  “— ** _please,_** I don’t want to do this.”

“Why not?” Faith challenged her.  “You think I’m an animal—is it so awful to admit you are too?  It feels good.  Blood rising.”  That was when both their Slayer senses went into overdrive, and the only warning of the falling crates was a split second of sound.  It was enough though, and Faith moved without thinking, tackling Buffy out of the way.  Faith was up and in a defensive posture in an instant, ready for the vampires who were now approaching. 

It wasn’t until she was charging three of them that she realized Buffy hadn’t gotten up.  The other Slayer had hit her head, and while she was conscious, she was still on the ground, dazed and out of it.  But Faith couldn’t worry about her right then.  She leapt up at the closest vamp, locking her hands around his thick, bald skull while kicking off of the guy to his right to spin herself around him and bring the full force of a kick through the air with enough power to dislocate the third vampire’s jaw.  She spun back from them, but as she rose to her feet, a fourth appeared out of nowhere and punched her hard in the face.  _Mr. Trick._   He and another vampire grabbed onto her and tossed her violently to the ground, skinning up the palms of her hands against the rough wood of the pier.

Faith immediately kicked up and back without looking, managing to catch one of them solidly before they could get close, but as she pushed up to her feet one of the other two vampires caught her in the face with a roundhouse kick.  She only just barely got an arm up to block it, and she felt something in her forearm crack a little.  Faith couldn’t fight all of them at once, not without a stake or an ax, and she kept up a defensive position, allowing herself to be pressed backwards, just trying to stay alive.

Except either she lost track of one of them, or there was a fifth guy hiding out, because that’s when she found her arms locked up firmly from behind her.  The contact shocked her, but she couldn’t shake him.  Instead, she kicked back at his kneecap, jarring it in a direction it absolutely wasn’t supposed to go, and as he shrieked in pain and loosened his grip, she ducked in time to let another vampire’s spinning kick catch him straight in the face.  Faith rolled away from them both, but Trick and another vampire were still advancing on her.

Finally, Buffy rushed to join the fray, and the first thing she did was toss Faith a spare stake.  She cut off Trick and the vampire stalking towards Faith, allowing the dark Slayer to turn her attention back on the guy who was down to one leg and his friend.  She quickly staked the first one, who was rather pathetically moaning and growling as he tried to walk on the splintered remains of his knee, then it was one-on-one against the scrawny bearded vampire.  He rather stupidly charged at her, and she sidestepped him at the last moment, like one of those bull fighters, stabbing her stake through his back and into his heart.

That’s when she saw Buffy struggling with Trick a good fifty yards away.  _How’d you get way over there, B?_   The flamboyant vampire had a cord wrapped around her neck, trying to choke her, but Buffy managed to catch him with an elbow.  At that point, he started to drag her around by the neck violently, then pulled her up into the air and tossed her into some nearby crates.  He had the cord back in place in an instant, and this time, Faith could tell she wasn’t getting out of it.

“Buffy!” was the loud, horrified shriek out of Faith’s throat as she sprinted towards them, and Trick turned to her in surprise.  She didn’t think she’d ever moved that quickly, and Trick hadn’t even finished moving to face her before her stake was buried deep in his chest.

“Oh no,” he muttered, shaking his head.  “No, this is not good at all.” Then his head twisted clean off his rapidly dissolving body, before it, too, turned to ash.  Which just left the two Slayers there alone, staring at each other through heavy panting.  Buffy massaged her neck tenderly, and Faith winced in pain as she remembered that she’d probably fractured her arm.  But they just kept staring, completely unsure of what they could possibly do next.

Faith eyed Buffy warily.  She no longer had any idea what this girl felt for her, how she saw her.  Faith felt as though, in the past two days, her entire world had been turned upside down and then shaken up violently.  Nothing seemed stable.  Nothing seemed sure.  But she knew that she had fallen for the bewildering mess of a girl standing in front of her.  Just as much as she knew she was too screwed up now to have any shot with her.

“Faith…” Buffy started, but Faith shook her head forcefully.

“B…. I can’t.”  Faith could feel the heat behind her eyes, and she sure as hell wasn’t gonna start crying right now.  So, she did the only thing she knew how to do.

She ran.

~~~~

She didn’t get far before a car pulled in front of her.  It was an older sort of car, maybe like a Buick or an Oldsmobile.  Something basic but reliable, in the way people of Joyce’s generation—or maybe the generation before that—found so appealing.  Anyway, this old guy car stopped in front of Faith, and the passenger side window slowly rolled down.  A non-threatening, middle-aged white guy smiled out at her, his strawberry blonde hair just so and his brilliant white teeth perfectly straight. 

“Hey there, young lady.  Is everything alright?”  He practically vibrated with positivity in a way that was, bizarrely, both reassuring and completely unnerving.  _Who the fuck is this bastard, and why is he talking to me?  And why does he seem familiar?_  Sensing her unease, he chuckled softly.  “I’m sorry, dear, this must seem terribly odd, me showing up out here by the docks and stopping to talk to a stranger running about in the night.”

“Pretty fuckin’ weird, yeah,” Faith mumbled.

“My my, that’s some zesty language there.”  _Is he really this big of a dork?  And oh yeah, why is he talking to me?_   As if reading her mind, he explained, “The fact of the matter is, Ms. Lehane, you and I aren’t really strangers, or we shouldn’t be.”  _How the fuck does he know my name?_   She tensed, and he immediately put up his hands in apology.  “Let me explain.  And trust me that I mean you no harm—” he chuckled, “—well, not in this precise moment, anyway.”  He beamed at her.  “Let me introduce myself.  Mayor Richard Wilkins.  And it is my absolute pleasure to make your acquaintance, finally.”

 _Fuck.  That’s why he’s familiar._   Faith’s head was way too fucked up to handle this right now.  Why was the big bad approaching her in the middle of the night, after a fight with …  “You sent your boy to kill me,” she snapped tersely. 

To her complete shock, he admitted it, cheerfully.  “That’s right, I did.”

“He’s dust.”  She kept her voice even, wary of the guy’s complete lack of concern about the fact that he had ordered her murder.  Or the fact that she’d made short work of his undead assassin   _Seriously, what the fuck?_   Then, as if this entire interaction wasn’t weird enough, he fucking cracked a joke.

“I thought he might be.  What with you standing here and all.”  Maybe he wasn’t all that bad.  Faith was well aware that right and wrong, good and evil were much more nuanced considerations than Buffy was willing to admit.  This guy employed vampires for some reason, and he’d ordered them to kill the Slayers.  Probably, that made him a bad guy.  But he seemed funny, and what was more, he seemed honest in a way that Buffy and her friends weren’t.  She got the strong sense that while he certainly seemed capable of torture and murder, he wouldn’t bullshit her or jerk her around with misdirection or mixed signals. 

“Listen, Faith—can I call you Faith?—I don’t suppose you’d like a ride home, would you?  I get the sense that you might be in something of a weird place right now, and I just might be able to help you out with that.”

Faith couldn’t say what instinct led her to open the door and slide into the passenger seat.  Maybe it was the sudden isolation she felt from Buffy and her Scoobies.  Maybe it was the self-loathing, all those deep down fears that she really was a monster.  Just like Giles and Wesley thought she was.  Just like Angel thought she was. 

Just like her father was.

All Faith knew was that she felt cold and alone, like she no longer had a place in that bright black-and-white world that Buffy was still clinging to so desperately.  So, she took a risk.  A terrible risk.  “Sounds to me like you have a job opening.”  And with that, he had smiled brightly at her and put the car into drive.

Ultimately, Faith was no longer self-aware or stable enough to really know why she did it.  She just knew that she didn’t feel like she had any better option, and for whatever reason, something had shifted in her at the docks.  She couldn’t—wouldn’t—run.  Still, some part of her regretted it the minute she left his car, maybe ten minutes later.  But once you sign up with the black hat … is there really any going back?  And would anyone take her back anyway?


	15. Feelings So Strong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enemies

Buffy had been roaming the cemetery for maybe ten minutes before Faith took up behind her without a word.  She wonders how long the other Slayer had been watching her before letting her presence be known.  _Probably from the minute Angel and I left the theater._ Buffy was already well aware of Faith’s proclivity for playing detective and watching things unfold from the shadows.  It was how they had originally met, after all.

Faith didn’t need Buffy to acknowledge her presence.  Their patrols together were much less talkative these days.  Frankly, Buffy didn’t know what to say anymore.  Part of her was just glad Faith hadn’t decided to run, but it wasn’t like things had gotten any better since that night at the docks.  The other Slayer made damn sure that she remained isolated from Buffy and her friends.  At this point, Buffy thought Joyce was the only person who had managed to hold onto a decent relationship with the girl, and then only because there were fewer stakes.  But she was still happy about that.  Happy that Faith had someone in her corner, even if the other Slayer wouldn’t let that person be Buffy.

Several minutes passed, then Faith decided to speak up.  “I didn’t know you were a fan of French cinema.”

Buffy only froze for a split second, and she managed not to miss a step.  But she had no doubt Faith had registered her reaction.  The movie had totally freaked her out, and she had no idea why Angel had thought it would be something she would like.  Not only did she have to suffer through subtitles the whole time, there was way more sex and nudity than she had expected.  Leaving the theater, things had been so awkward between her and Angel.  It was hard to be around him lately.  She refused to think too hard about the reasons for that.  It was enough to be reminded of the sort of passion the two of them could never have. 

And Faith no doubt knew that.  Buffy bristled at the thought that Faith’s only intention was to make her uncomfortable.  It was one thing to be jealous—to wish that Buffy wasn’t with Angel—but it was something entirely different to go out of her way to make Buffy feel bad.  That wasn’t something you did to a friend.  Much less someone you claimed to care about in any kind of romantic sense.

Buffy tried not to let it get to her.  It’d been a couple of weeks since that night at the docks, and it was enough that Faith had decided to stay.  To face her demons and try to move past them.  At least, that’s what Buffy hoped she was doing.  She couldn’t really know what Faith was going through, because the other Slayer had nearly completely shut her out since then.  Things between the two of them had gotten so raw that night that it had nearly devolved into violence between them.  She understood Faith’s desire to avoid those feelings.  But the uneasy tension between them ever since was hardly better.  The trust between the Slayers was broken, and Buffy was at a loss as to how they would ever repair it.

Not having gotten a response to her comment, Faith changed the subject.  “So, we sure that the police aren’t comin’ after us?”  This time Buffy did actually pause, her feet coming to a stop.  It still hurt to think that they had killed a man, whatever his darker entanglements, and that they were just going to continue on as if nothing had happened.  Except that, they were pretty much doing **_exactly_** that.  And Faith had been right about things blowing over.

“I haven’t heard anything, have you?”  Buffy couldn’t help how terse her voice was.  She hated this topic of conversation, and she hated that Faith had never actually talked to her about her own feelings of guilt and remorse.  She wanted to be there for Faith, wanted her to open up and be vulnerable and deal with her demons, but the other girl had apparently decided that keeping up her façade of unshakeable badass was more important than her own emotional well-being. 

Sometimes Buffy really just wanted to punch Faith in the face until she admitted that she needed help.  _Is force all this girl understands?_   Buffy hated when she had thoughts like that, but it was hard not to let her imagination spiral into the darkest of places.  Faith refused to give her any insight into the reality of the other Slayer’s situation, so the best Buffy could do was guess.

“Nah, just checkin’.  I’m sure Wes has his ear to the ground or whatever.”  Faith kept her voice nonchalant in a way that Buffy knew damn well was fake, but neither Slayer would meet the other’s gaze, so there was no point in trying to call her on it.   After everything, Faith refused to talk to Giles or Wesley.  She’d been very honest with Buffy about her intention to cause them physical harm if either of them approached her.

That had caused a lot of tension that Buffy had been forced to try to work out on her own.  Buffy didn’t trust the Council anymore than Faith did, but she’d had to work her ass off to make sure that Faith was actually safe from them.  The other Slayer was so reckless that she didn’t even bother to wonder what sort of force the Council could bring to bear against her.  It was Buffy who had to deal with Wesley’s bruised ego.  She had eventually reached a strained agreement with the prissy Watcher.  He convinced the Council that he had the ‘Faith situation’ under control, and she agreed that she would work more closely with him.  Which is to say that she told him she would submit herself once again to the dictates of the Council and that she would allow him to be in charge of her mission again, to a certain extent.  She wasn’t sure how much she intended to live up to that promise, but it was a compromise that had felt necessary.

Except that Faith didn’t know what Buffy had done for her, and Buffy wasn’t entirely sure she would care.  _Dammit, I miss the carefree, flirty Faith I used to know._   It felt like Faith was about to say something else, but then they were interrupted.  Faith ducked on impulse, and Buffy punched the demon in the face.  The two of them shoved him against the stone wall of a nearby crypt, and that’s when he started whining.

“Ow!  Ohhh, what are you, nuts?!” he squealed.  At least, she assumed it was a he, based on the untamed beard along his chin.  The demon was bald, with extremely pale pinkish white skin and two short horns jutting from the top of his skull, and he was fairly humanoid, save for the reptilian eyes, all yellowy with the creepy slitted pupils.  He eyed them both, blinking rapidly.  “You can’t just go around punching people!”

“People?” Buffy quipped, making it clear that she wouldn’t place him into that category. 

He glared at her.  “So what, I’m a demon.  That makes it okay to hit me?”  Both Slayers raised their stakes, indicating that as far as they were concerned, it absolutely did.  He cowered from their show of force.  “Okay!  Hold it, woah!  Please!  Stake me now, and you never find out what I got for ya, huh?”  Buffy’s arm relaxed slightly, though she wasn’t sure Faith’s did.  “Think about it; demon seeks Slayers, highly unusual, right?”

“Talk fast,” Faith warned.

The demon’s reptilian eyes widened.  “H-how would you like to get your hands on the Books of Ascension?”  He grinned at them with yellowed teeth, as if they should recognize immediately what he was talking about.

Buffy’s eyes narrowed.  “Never heard of ‘em.”

“Books of Ascension,” he reiterated, as if the repetition would somehow convey some sort of deeper meaning. “Very powerful works, and I’m not talking about the prose.  They deal with some, uh, dark stuff, and the mayor would hate for somebody to get ahold before he, uh, well … you know.”  Faith tensed up beside her, but Buffy wasn’t sure what the demon was getting at, other than the reminder that the mayor was evil.

“Not really looking to trade with a demon,” Buffy said, feeling really unsure of herself at this point.  She’d never faced a quasi-friendly demon, save for Angel’s friend Whistler, much less one who just approached her in the middle of the night looking to make a deal.

“And if this were still a barter economy, that would be a problem.”  He looked straight at Buffy, avoiding further eye contact with Faith.  “I want cash, princess, five large for the whole set.”

Faith leaned in, pressing her forearm against his throat just enough to be threatening.  “So you can buy … what?  I’m guessing here … some skin care products?”  Her eyes surveyed his face critically, and Buffy resisted the sudden urge to chuckle at the other Slayer’s antics.

The demon shrank a little, but he tried to act confident still.  “Plane ticket.  Out of the Hellmouth, before it’s adios, Slayer Loco.”  _What the hell?_   “So, five G’s, what do you say?”

Faith rolled her eyes, and Buffy’s stomach sank a little as she read the situation.  “I think ‘die fiend’ sums it up, wouldn’t you say?”  The demon darted away, body practically shivering in fear at Faith’s threat, and Buffy had to grab at the other Slayer’s arm to keep her from giving chase.

“Oh, let him go.  He doesn’t exactly scream ‘deadly threat to humanity.’”

“A demon’s a demon,” Faith spat, and Buffy tried not to focus too hard on whether there had been more fervor behind that statement than was necessitated by their current situation.

Buffy did her best to overlook the clear challenge in Faith’s tone.  “I’d like to know about these Books of Ascension.  Anything that would pin the mayor down would be great.”

Faith didn’t look so sure.  “Whatever, B.  Guess you’re the expert on which demons we should slay and which are exempt.  For … you know, reasons, I guess.”  Buffy’s brow furrowed.

“Faith!”

“Nah,” she cut her off.  “You can save it.  Not lookin’ for a fight right now.  You can go ahead and take this to your Scoobies, decide what level of evil you’re comfortable makin’ deals with.  I’m well aware of the grey areas here, B.  Just wish you’d stop pretending you didn’t live in it too.”

“ ** _Faith!_** ” Buffy protested, but the other Slayer pushed her away.

“Nah.  Fuck it, B.  I don’t wanna fight.  Just piss off.”  And she took off into the night.  Buffy was too frustrated to bother taking after her.

~~~~

Faith hadn’t seen or heard from the Mayor since that night in his car.  He had kept his terms vague then, but the offer had been clear: he wanted her on his team, and he could make it worth her while.  It had been two weeks, and Faith had struggled with that choice.  But nothing had improved between her and Buffy since then.  Despite everything, Buffy was still with Angel, and none of Buffy’s friends or allies seemed to trust Faith any further than they could throw her. 

Now Buffy was looking to make deals with the demons, and so what if Faith was tempted to make a deal of her own?  _Can’t hurt to just see what he has in mind._   His door was open when she arrived, and she wondered if maybe he knew she was coming.  She wouldn’t be surprised if he had sentries or a high-tech security system with cameras and what not.  Regardless, his eyes met hers the moment she appeared in the doorframe.

“Well well, if it isn’t my favorite Slayer?  I was beginning to worry you had forgotten me, Faith.  Come on in!”  He was all smiles, just like last time, and she walked forward to slump into one of the chairs in front of his desk.  “There we go.”  He held out a crystal bowl towards her.  “Would you like a mint?”  Faith shot him a bewildered look but passed.  This guy really was the oddest person she’d ever met.  “Down to business, then.  I imagine you’ve taken this time in order to have a good **_long_** think about my offer?”

He said it as though he were just a little miffed that she had waited, but he seemed understanding enough.  She shrugged.  “Yeah, and I guess I figured it wouldn’t hurt to find out exactly what you’ve got in mind.  Life ain’t exactly a walk in the park as it is, and if I like whatcha got to say, maybe I’ve got some information that might interest you.”

She wanted to make it clear she wasn’t on Team Mayor yet, while also proving that she wasn’t just lookin’ so be some henchman or anything.  She could be useful to him, maybe, but she would do so on her own terms.  He seemed pleased by the efforts she had taken to approach him on something close to equal footing.

“I like a girl with some initiative, Faith; it’s not something you see in many young people these days.  As for what I had in mind, well now, that depends entirely on you, my dear.  I get the sense that you’re a bit … let’s say **_disillusioned_** with the way Ms. Summers and her cohorts operate in this town, and I’m here to tell you that there is another way!  You and I could have a fair bit of fun together, but first, I need to know that I can trust you.”

Faith frowned.  She was immediately concerned about what he had in mind, but he responded to her reaction just as quickly.  Mayor Wilkins stood and walked forward, pacing along to Faith’s left.  “There, there, Faith—no need to worry.  I wouldn’t ask you to do anything too terribly challenging, not so early in the relationship.  I’m not looking for you to kill anyone or anything like that.  Well—” he smiled warmly at her, gesturing with his hands in an open motion, palms facing up, “—not anyone **_human_** , anyway.”  His eyebrows raised a little, and there was a twinkle in his eye.  “That **_is_** your calling, now isn’t it?  Killing demons?”  She nodded tentatively.  “So, it shouldn’t be too much trouble for you to take out a demon or two who have been giving me issues, should it?’

“Nah, I guess not.”  Faith played it cool, but honestly, if that was all he had in mind for her, Faith was pretty sure she was on board already, so long as he could make it worth her while.  Killing things that go bump in the night **_was_** her calling, and bad guy or not, she wasn’t too concerned about his motivations if he wasn’t looking to force her too far away from that basic path.  Hell, she would’ve taken out demons for free, but she was guessing the Mayor had more than a few perks in mind if she joined his team.  And he just seemed so sincere about everything.  So, she laid another card on the table.  “As for buildin’ trust between us, what if I told ya I ran into a demon tonight who was lookin’ to unload a set of books he seemed to think might be real important to you?”

Mayor Wilkins took a seat on the corner of his desk, leaning in towards Faith with unmasked intrigue.  “This demon didn’t happen to say what these books were called, did he?”

She smiled, liking that now she was the one with a bit of leverage.  “Yeah, said they were the Books of Ascension.  Asked for five Gs to sell ‘em to me and B.”

“Well that’s very interesting news, indeed.”  He stood back up and began to pace around behind her, hands in his pockets.  “And what exactly did this demon look like?

Faith’s face scrunched up a little at the question, which she had no idea how to answer.  “Uh … demonic?”

“Ah,” he responded dryly.  “And you say he has the Books of Ascension, or will soon—” his pacing had taken him all the way around the room and back behind his desk now, and he stopped there, facing Faith again.  “And he was, what, willing to sell them?”

“That’s what I said,” she answered, eyeing him warily.  Faith hadn’t been able to get a good read on this guy yet.  He made a befuddled face, then hummed thoughtfully.

“You know what I wish?” he asked suddenly, voice light and airy.  “I wish you’d pull your hair back.”  When she narrowed her eyes, he pulled his hands from his pocket and placed them in the air in front him, defensively.  “I know, I know!  Fashion’s not exactly my thing, but gosh darn it, you know, you’ve got such a nice face.  I can’t imagine why you’d want to hide it.” 

They’d talked all of twice, and he already treated her like she was his daughter.  And again, he seemed so sincere that it almost wasn’t off-putting.  She had no doubt the compliment was genuine, but she wasn’t at all sure how to handle it.   _This guy lookin’ to be my sugar daddy or something?_ But she didn’t get a creepy vibe off of him, at least not **_that_** sort of creepy.  If not for the fact that she knew he was perfectly capable of ordering a bunch of vampires around like they had good reason to fear him, Faith would almost think that Mayor Wilkins was every bit as wholesome and thoughtful as his kind-hearted façade would indicate.  But like she told Buffy, nine times outta ten, the face you see isn’t who a person really is.  Faith just needed to get a better sense of who was behind this epitome of a 1950s family man standing in front of her.

“Yeah sure… whatever,” was the best response she could muster, and she hated that she couldn’t quite hide how unnerved she was by his demeanor.  “Look… it’s just a matter of time before this demon guy spills to Buffy and her superfriends—”

“You know, you worry too much for a girl your age.  That's unnecessary stress.”  Again, his tone was what she imagined it sounded like when a doting father worries too much over his teenage daughter.  “Luckily, I've got just the thing.”  He turned to the bureau against the wall behind his desk, and she could hear him pouring something into a glass.  When he turned back to her, she could see that it was milk.  _What the fuck?  Who has a pitcher of milk in their office?_   He handed her the glass, and she took it hesitantly.  “There you go.  Now, you load up on calcium, then go find this demon, kill the **_heck_** out of him, and bring the books to me.”

He said this last part so cheerfully that it actually brought a soft smile to her face.  She took an exasperated look at the glass in her hands before setting it down on his desk, sighing as she processed his request.  She had no qualms about killing the demon—the only reason she hadn’t done so already was that Buffy stopped her for some inexplicable reason.  But if she was going to bring those books back, she needed a reason.  “And what’s in it for me?”

“Oh, now, I have some great ideas on how to make this worth your while.  You prove yourself to me, and let’s just say that I can take care of a certain problem of yours.  A troublesome vampire who goes by the name of Angel.”  He beamed at her, a knowing glint in his eyes, and Faith did her best to mask the surprise she felt bloom in her chest.  _How much does he know about me?_

“What do you mean?”  Faith couldn’t pretend she didn’t like the sound of it, but she wasn’t big on vague promises. 

“Now now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” he scolded.  “Prove yourself, bring me the books, and **_then_** we’ll talk details.  Believe me, I don’t make idle promises.   Now, drink up.  There’s nothing uncool about healthy teeth and bones.”  Instead of following his order, she pushed herself up and out of the chair. 

“Alright, you’ve got a deal.  I’ll be back with the books.”

“I knew I could count on you, Faith.  And let me just be clear—” there was a hint of a threat in his voice, even though it lost none of its pep, “—I’m looking forward to working together.  I can be a heck of an ally, but trust me, you do **_not_** want to get on my bad side.”

“Sure,” she responded, again terribly uneasy, and then she turned and headed back out into the night.

~~~~

Less than an hour later, Faith found herself entering an older apartment building.  It was a little run down, but probably not any shadier than where she might’ve ended up had the Summers ladies not offered her a home in Sunnydale.  Again, Faith felt that familiar pang of guilt at running around behind Buffy’s back, but so far, she had no reason to believe the Mayor was necessarily out to get Buffy or her friends.  Other than sending Trick after her and Faith—she had guessed that was because they’d been caught snooping around City Hall after Finch’s death, but maybe that was something she would just have to ask the Mayor about once she brought him his books.

She had gotten the demon’s home address from Willy.  The sniveling little guy owned the local demon bar, and Buffy had brought her along a couple of times when she needed to shake him down for information.  Faith had never really gotten a clear answer as to whether Willy was a demon himself, but he looked human enough.  Whatever else he was, he was first and foremost a coward, but one who had his ear to the ground on most of the shady dealings in Sunnydale.  Faith didn’t have much idea about how that even worked—Willy seemed like the kind of guy who would’ve gotten eaten by an annoyed patron pretty quickly, but Buffy assured her that he’d been around a while.

After getting the address, Faith was sure to threaten him within an inch of his life, assuring him that he never saw her there.  Never talked to her.  She couldn’t risk Buffy finding out what she was up to, especially since the other Slayer would no doubt hit up Willy for the address herself, assuming the Watchers decided to ante up the finder’s fee the demon was asking for.  _Too bad, B.  My way is a hell of a lot faster._

As she walked up the stairs, Faith pumped herself up.  After everything that had happened since she came back to Sunnydale, Faith was looking forward to something as simple as slaying a monster and collecting some books.  She felt like she was drowning in complications she couldn’t fully understand or process.  Deceptive, abusive Watchers.  Evil monsters supposedly redeemed by the presence of a soul.  Accidental killings of humans who turned out to be mixed up in some shady dealings.  Twisted love triangles.  Faith was so fucking tired of all of it.  But the one thing that had always been simple, straightforward, and ultimately, rewarding for Faith was the slaying.  It was so much easier to not have to think or feel so much, to just give into the Slayer instincts and inflict some violence against the forces of evil.  Which is what she was there to do tonight.

Resisting the silly urge to knock, Faith kicked open the demon’s door.  She strolled in like she owned the place, exuding all the power she could feel coursing through her veins.  Faith had zero intention of letting the demon leave this apartment alive, but until she was sure about the location of the books, she figured her best bet was intimidation.  _Let this fucker fear me._

“H-hey Slayer!” the demon called out nervously from across the room.  “You know, I wasn’t expecting company.”  She glanced around the ratty apartment, and it was obvious that the guy was packing and in a hurry.  _Whatcha runnin’ from, guy?_   “Give me a minute, and I’ll have the place tidied up for you.”  He grinned at her as if he wasn’t about to piss himself, and Faith didn’t care for that at all.

“You got the books?” she growled, advancing on him menacingly.  To his credit, he didn’t back down immediately.

“That depends—you got my money?”  Faith answered with a sneer and a backhand that sent him flying backwards.  Now, he was scared.  A thin trickle of blood escaped his nose, and he cowered away from her a little.

“Y-you’re tough in negotiations, and I respect that.”  Faith wasn’t sure what it said about her that she enjoyed watching him squirm.  He led her over to a nearby set of five large, ancient-looking books.  “Check ‘em out!  Now uh … that is quality merchandise.  That’s worth five grand, easy.”  The guy sounded like a sleazy door-to-door salesmen, and Faith rolled her eyes even as she flipped through the books.  She was more than a little curious what they were about and why they were so important to the Mayor, but they weren’t written in any language she recognized.  Not that she was sure she could’ve recognized any language other than English.

“And these are the Books of Ascension?” she asked to confirm, without looking back at him.  She was already fingering the long knife tucked away in the inside pocket of her jacket. 

“Mmhmm, original editions and everything.  Uh … **_great_** condition.”  She continued flipping through them, and he balked.  “Okay, so it’s a little worn on one spine, some slight foxing, but otherwise, perfect.”  She could hear the anxiety in his voice.  “Now, uh … the five grand, it’s uh … you know, negotiable.” 

Faith stood to her full height as she turned to face him, brandishing her knife.  “I don’t like to haggle,” she warned.  It was unnerving how different this demon seemed from the monsters she fought on a regular basis.  He was annoying and slimy, but in annoyingly human ways.  There was a nagging feeling in her gut that killing him in cold blood, at this point, would not be any more justifiable than her killing of the deputy mayor in that alley.  The only difference was her intention.

Still, as he eyed the knife in her hand and began to back away, now shaking with fear, she tamped down on that voice.  _He’s a demon.  I’m a Slayer.  This isn’t any different.  He’s a monster, and I end monsters.  There isn’t anything wrong with this._   She moved forward swiftly, before she could overthink it.  She stabbed him forcefully in the gut, pushing to turn his body back towards the kitchen and away from the books.  As his eyes widened in pain, she withdrew her knife, wrapped a hand around the back of his head, and swiped the blade swiftly across his neck, ducking out of the way of the arterial blood spray.  The lifeless corpse dropped to the floor, still oozing blood everywhere.

Faith found that she couldn’t look at the body, and she moved into the kitchen to find a towel.  She fought against her own mind as she wiped the blood from her hands.  _This wasn’t a fair fight.  He didn’t even try to stop me._ Nothing about this was the simple situation Faith had expected.  She was used to a good scuffle against a soulless fiend, and this wasn’t that.  Again, she found herself wondering if she was the monster—not him—but again, she buried those troubling thoughts.  _Slayer; demon.  This is how it is supposed to be._

Any signs of the struggle now having been wiped away, she returned to the books.  There were enough of them that she had to take two trips to load them into her car, but the whole ordeal was finished less than ten minutes after she had first showed up.  As she drove away, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she had taken another step in the wrong direction.

~~~~

Buffy found Willow in the student lounge and slid in next to her on the couch, hoping her presence didn’t disturb her friend’s reading too much.  After finishing a passage, Willow glanced up at Buffy and smiled warmly.  “Hey, Buffy.”  She frowned as she caught sight of Buffy’s general demeanor. “Are you okay?  You seem a little on edge.  Is there anything that's wrong?”

 _Was anything **not** wrong at this point?  _ Buffy had sought out Willow because she didn’t know who else she could talk to anymore.  But so much felt wrong lately that Buffy had no idea where to even start.  “I’m worried that I’m losing Faith,” she blurted out.  _Guess that’s as good a place to start as any._

“She still hasn’t opened up about anything?”  Willow closed her book and scooted a little closer. 

“I feel like she gets a little more closed off every day,” Buffy admitted.  “I thought the fact that she chose not to run would be a turning point.  That we would get back to the way things were, and eventually she would talk about what she’s going through.  But she’s been so cold towards me since then.”  Buffy’s eyes met Willow’s.  “Has she said anything to you?”

Willow shook her head, frowning sadly.  “I think she’s been avoiding me.  Not sure why though—” the redhead pouted adorably, “—not like I chained her up or tried to kidnap her and take her back to England.”

“Yes good, remind me of how I screwed up.”  Buffy still regretted that she went along with Angel’s plan to keep Faith restrained until they could talk her down some and force her to open up and face her issues.  She knew all along that force wouldn’t work with Faith, and it had been a huge mistake that completely backfired when Wesley came in and blew up the situation. 

“Sorry, Buffy.  I know you meant well, but I can see why Faith is wary of everything Slayer and/or Watcher-related at this point.  And I’m sure it didn’t help that she figured you were choosing Angel over her.”

Buffy sighed, knowing Willow was right.  She just wished she knew what the right thing to do was.  “I wonder …”  Buffy blushed a little, but forced herself to finish the thought, “I mean … what if I just tell her that maybe I have feelings for her too?  I know it’s a weird time, and I’m not exactly sure how I feel but—”

“Buffy.”  Willow sounded highly skeptical.  “What do you think is gonna happen?  ‘Oh, hey Faith, I know things are weird, but you know how you like me and stuff?  Well, I guess that **_maybe_** I kinda like you too.’  And then what?  She just drops all her walls?  Forgets everything that has happened lately?”  Buffy looked away, feeling extremely embarrassed all of the sudden.  “And what, you just make with the smoochies?  Are you really there yet?  That sure of how you feel?  Are you going to **_date_** Faith?”

Buffy’s brow furrowed as her face shifted into a pout of her own.  “No.  Maybe?  Ugh, Willow I don’t know.  I just … I need to get through to her, and I’m running out of ideas here.”

“Also, also!”  Willow’s eyes widened as she remembered a crucial fact that they had both been ignoring.  “You’re with Angel!  Buffy, this isn’t fair to him.” 

That reminder was like a knife through Buffy’s heart.  Things had been uneasy with Angel lately, but Willow was right.  Whatever Buffy might or might not feel for Faith, she loved Angel.  She owed him more than this.  Everything was just so damn confusing lately.  She thought again of Faith’s words on the pier, before Trick ambushed them.  How fierce she had seemed as she insisted that Buffy’s relationship with Angel was wrong, and deep down, Buffy knew it.  But she didn’t **_know_** it.  She felt like she didn’t **_know_** anything at this point.

“Hey.” Willow put a hand on Buffy’s forearm, and they locked eyes.  “I don’t know what all Faith has been through, but she’s got a lot of her own stuff to work through.  Some of it involves you, but I bet a lot of it doesn’t.  I don’t think it helps her or you to muddy that up with more mixed signals about feelings you might have for her.  Faith needs to look for help for herself, not because she’s hoping to get together with you, you know?”  Buffy grimaced.  It made her sad, because she wanted nothing more than to be the one to help Faith figure her stuff out.  She wanted so desperately to help her.  But Willow was right.  “Let me try talking to her, okay?  I’ll have to track her down, but maybe I can swing by your house later tonight, and hopefully she’ll be there.”

“Maybe,” Buffy whispered.  “I mean … she’s been going out patrolling on her own a lot.  I think she feels uncomfortable being home with me around lately.  Ugh.  I hate this, Will.”

“ I know.  Sounds crappy.  But we’ll figure it out.  We always do.”

Buffy sighed again and leaned her head playfully against Willow’s shoulder.  “You better be right about that.”  She wagged her finger in the air.  “Or else.”

~~~~

“Welcome back, Faith.”  Mayor Wilkins was every bit as peppy as always, and Faith was feeling a little more at ease now that she’d had a good long sleep.  She’d gotten home late after bringing the Mayor his books, which was nice because it enabled her to avoid Buffy, and then she had slept nearly until noon today.  “I just want to say again, you did excellent work last night.”

“Thanks, boss.”  Faith said it with just a hint of sarcasm, wondering if he’d call her out on it, but he let it go.  “So, you promised me some perks for my good work.”

“Oh don’t you worry, young lady.  It’s time to have a little fun.”  He chuckled.  “Now, I won’t push you for your reasons, but I get the sense that life would be a lot easier for you if a certain vampire was out of the way.”

Faith wasn’t sure which was more unnerving, the fact that the Mayor knew about her feud with Angel or his insistence on avoiding any mention of the reason for said feud.  But she wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.  _That’s how that phrase goes, right?_   If the Mayor had a way to send Angel on his way, Faith was more than happy to play along.  “Right, well I’m just going to avoid the obvious question of how you would know that and skip straight to the part where I tell you that sounds great.  What do you have in mind?”

His eyes sparkled deviously.  “Well, as I see it, his pesky soul is what’s really in our way.”  _Fucking everyone with the soul obsession, what the hell?_   “So I figure, why not get rid of it?”

It was an inelegant solution, and one that made Faith more than a little uncomfortable.  But it would certainly get him out of the way.  Except that she only knew of one way to accomplish that.  “Not sure it’s that simple.  It’s a whole big thing with this curse—”

“Come now, Faith.  I know all about the curse.”

 _Of course you do._ Faith continued, “Yeah, okay but still, I don’t see B and him getting’ down and dirty anytime soon.  Not really sure how to give him the big happy necessary to break his curse and turn him back into the monster everyone seems so happy to forget that he is.”

Mayor Wilkins shook his head and pursed his lips in slight disapproval.  “Hey, come on, don't be discouraged!  You're a bright, young, energetic girl with a whole life ahead of her, especially once we’ve taken care of this Angel issue.  And I won't tolerate brooding.”  He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows, waiting for a sign of positivity from her.  She rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the tiniest bit of a grin that formed along her lips.  “There’s my girl.  Now, I agree with your assessment, but there’s more than one way to skin a cat.  And I happen to know that’s factually true.”  His voice was playful now, almost gleeful, and Faith suppressed a shudder at that visual image.  “We want to take Angel’s soul away.  If we can’t do it by giving him happiness, well, by golly, we’ll just have to do it in the most painful way imaginable.”

Again, Faith’s gut shifted uneasily.  She felt caught in between two worlds, like Buffy’s ways of doing things didn’t quite go far enough, but the Mayor’s took it all too far.  But when it came to Angel, Faith was done screwing around.  She wanted him gone, and so long as it didn’t cost her the bond she shared with Buffy, she’d do just about anything at this point.

Faith didn’t say anything.  Clearly he had a plan, and she was more that willing to wait him out until he revealed all of it.  “Oh, I get it.  You’re skeptical.  Well, just listen then.  You see, I’ve obtained the services of our friend here, and he has quite the plan of action ready to go, and let me tell you, scheduling a man of his talents was quite the chore.” 

A man—or demon, maybe—dressed head to toe in black robes stepped forward out of the shadows, and Faith nearly jumped out of her seat.  She was sure the guy had not been in the room when she had arrived.  He floated forward, and she wondered immediately if he even had legs or feet under those robes.  As he came into the light, she could see that his skin was blue, and his eyes glowed with a mystical orange energy.  Some sort of sorcerer, she guessed.  Those eyes were focused firmly on the Mayor now.

“You know why I’ve summoned you.  Can you do it?” 

The sorcerer answered with a gravelly, almost inhuman voice.  “You have risked great danger in calling on me.  The deadliest magics are needed to rob this creature of its soul.”

“Big job alright,” the Mayor agreed, not too concerned with the ominous presence that had appeared from nowhere with warnings of danger and dark magic.

“And so it shall be done.”  The sorcerer did not turn away, but instead, he simply floated backwards and dissolved back into the shadows.

“Not exactly a people person, is he?”  Faith shivered, goosebumps having formed from the brief interaction. 

“That dude is wicked creepy.”

“Come now, Faith, let’s not judge.  He’s agreed to help us with our problem.”

“Works for me,” Faith muttered.  Then she looked Wilkins straight in the eyes.  “Tell me this, though.  I helped you, so now you help me.  But this seems like a big ask.  What have you got planned for after?”

“You know better than anyone that I need a replacement for Mr. Trick.  Angelus should serve that role just fine.  He’s a fun-loving vampire capable of seeing my big picture, plus he’s already so familiar with this fair town of ours.  I imagine he’ll be able to keep your friend Buffy and her allies plenty busy while I attend to more important matters in preparation for my ascension on graduation day.”  He stood, and his eyes turned cold.  “That’s not going to be a problem is it?”

“Not even a little,” she answered.  “You just tell me what I’ve gotta do.”

“That’s the spirit,” he gushed, standing from his seat behind his desk.  He opened a drawer and withdrew a vial of blood, handing it to her.  “Now, our friend will meet you there, and I’m sure he’ll pop in at just the right moment, as he is wont to do.  All you have to do is splatter this blood across Angel’s chest.”

She took the blood, eyeing it warily.  “Do I wanna know?”

“Probably not,” he replied, shaking his head.  “Don’t even worry about it.  You just head over to that gaudy mansion of his, and let’s get the show on the road.  Bring him back to me once he’s switched sides.” 

“I’m on it,” she assured him, flashing her most wicked grin.  “I’ll be back before you know it.”  Now that she had an idea what was going on, the gears were already turning in Faith’s head.  By the time she left City Hall, she had already developed a plan of her own.

She still didn’t know what she thought of the Mayor or his mysterious plans, but she sure as hell wasn’t going to let a monster like Angelus roam free, even if Wilkins thought he could somehow control him.  _No way I’m playin’ it his way.  I did the Mayor a solid, now he’s doing me one.  Even Steven._   Once Angel’s soul was gone, Faith could finally stake him and have a solid explanation.  She could explain to Buffy that the Mayor took Angel’s soul, and Faith had to defend herself.  Did what she had to do.  Things would be tense for a while, but she was more than used to that by now.  At least this way, eventually Buffy would heal and move on, and maybe then, she and Faith could reassess where they stood with each other.

Some part of Faith was screaming that none of this was right.  Certainly if Buffy found out that she had coordinated with Mayor Wilkins to steal Angel’s soul, just so she could stake him and blame the whole thing on the Mayor… _fuck, yeah, that sounds really bad._   If Buffy found out, Faith didn’t know whether she’d be able to ever forgive her.  The girl was blinded by her love for this guy.

But Faith was convinced that, as difficult and yes, morally questionable, as this was, it was the best thing in the long run, for everyone.  Except Angel, but she wasn’t going to feel bad about ending someone who, soul or not, had committed so many heinous acts in his long, evil history of existence.  Buffy clearly would never be able to do the right thing, and someone needed to act.  To protect Buffy from herself.  Buffy deserved better than a passionless existence with an immortal broody asshole centuries older than her.  Whether she wanted to admit it or not, Buffy couldn’t have any kind of future with Angel.  At least now, she’ll finally be free.

And if that opened the door for Faith at some point, all the better.

It took her about ten minutes to make her way over to vamp mansion, and as she neared, she hoped beyond hope that Buffy wasn’t there.  She needed Angel alone.  Fortunately, as she slipped in through the garden, she could see that he was.  He was standing around like a dope, wearing a plain white wife beater— _where the fuck did that term even come from?_ Faith wondered.  She walked straight in, without hesitation, and he watched her with barely concealed hostility.  _Good, make it that much easier for me._   “Faith,” he grunted, ostensibly in some sort of greeting.

“Hey, sorry to bust in uninvited,” she answered, not bothering to hide her smirk.  “But hey, some of us don’t need one.”

“What do you want?”  She continued walking towards him, debating whether she wanted to say her piece before or after the big bad mojo.  _Better not risk it.  Just gotta keep talking long enough to get close._   Her eyes surveyed the host of candles all around the room and the roaring flames in the fireplace.  _He knows that fire can kill a vampire, right?  How easy would it be to shove him into that fireplace?_

“You really don’t trust me, do you?”

“Not particularly.”  His body language was tense and defensive, as if he expected her to attack him again.  _Which, honestly, isn’t too far off base._   There was maybe a foot of space between them now, and Faith's hand tightened on the vial of blood hidden in her palm.

“Hey, no problem.  Join the club,” she muttered, fully aware that no one, not even Buffy, really trusted her at this point.  Considering what she was about to do, maybe that was justified.  _Oh well._   Finally, she was close enough, and she didn’t waste any more time waffling on the morality of her actions.  She made a choice, and she splattered the blood across the white of his tank top without hesitation.

She took a quick step back as Angel’s eyes widened in shock, and then the sorcerer guy appeared from the shadows again, this time chanting in some mystical language. Angel roared, “Faith!” but whatever magic the Mayor’s guy was working held the vampire in place.  “You don’t have to do this!”

“You forced my hand!” she yelled at him, emotions getting the best of her.  “You could’ve just left!  You know you’re bad for her, but you stick around anyway.  **_Fuck you_**!  This had to be done.”  A bright blue light encompassed Angel, and now he was screaming in agony.  The Mayor had said it would be painful, and it looked like he was right.  The light pulled Angel into the air and then tightened around his body, pressing in until it was inside him.  Then it exploded outward forcefully, and he dropped to the floor with a heavy thud. 

A second passed, and then he was up, face fully vamped.  She glanced to the side, and the sorcerer guy hadn’t melted into the shadows yet, which surprised her.  _Can’t stake him in front of this guy—can’t risk the Mayor finding out I’m not playin’ by his rules._   Instead, she and Angel—Angelus?—sized each other up.  Then the vampire let out a gleeful laugh that was as dark as it was unnerving.

“Jealousy finally got the best of you, did it Faithie?  Couldn’t handle the competition for our sweet little Buffy, so you had to go and make me a monster again, that it?”

“You were always a monster,” she spat, but that just made him smirk more.

“Oh hey, I’m not complaining.”  The circled each other, and Faith couldn’t help but think again of wild animals just itching for another throwdown.  “Hell, I’m impressed.  Who knew a dumb little high school dropout could find herself a mage with this kinda black magic?”  His yellow eyes danced with malevolent mirth.  “Is someone making new friends?” he asked in a taunting sing-song.

The sorcerer was still hanging around, and Faith had half a mind to toss the knife in her pocket straight into his skull.  But she had no idea what sort of powers he had, and she wasn’t looking to get dead.  _Gotta play along for now._   Except that in her moment of distraction, Angelus pounced.  He tossed her to the ground with a roar, but she reacted immediately, kicking out to knock him backwards.  They exchanged blows, and then she kicked his legs out from under him, pulling her stake effortlessly as she straddled him, pinning him down.  He caught her arm before she could stake him, and the sorcerer advanced on them.  His silence was unnerving.

Angelus chuckled.  “I should’ve known you’d like it on top.”  Faith did her best not to shudder.  As if she could ever get any amount of pleasure from this undead thing beneath her. 

Still painfully aware of the terrifyingly powerful presence only a few feet away, Faith offered the olive branch.  “You wanna listen, or you wanna die?”

His eyes continued to taunt her.  “As long as you’re here, I mostly want you to wriggle.”  He pushed his hips up into her, and he seemed to know how disgusting she found him.  He savored her discomfort.  “But yeah, I’m listening.”

Now it was Faith’s turn to taunt.  “Last time you got like this, Buffy kicked your ass all the way back to hell.”  His mocking stare turned to a glare in an instant, and she grinned wickedly.  “You wanna do better this time?”  Faith had no intentions of letting him do so, but she had to continue playing the Mayor’s devoted little helper for now.

His face shifted back to its human façade.  “Still listening.”

“Good boy,” she mocked, but she pressed down a little harder with her stake arm, forcing him to keep his guard up.  “Now.  All you gotta do is play nice and call truce, and I’ll hook you up with the real power in this town.  Interested?”

He surveyed her carefully, and for a split second, she thought she saw something like pity in his eyes.  It made her want to stake him all the more.  But then he answered with a simple, “Very.”  She got back to her feet but kept the stake in her hand.

“Then get ready to meet the new boss.”  He stood as well, and then the sorcerer spoke again.

“I will accompany you.”  It was all he said, but it was enough to make Faith’s heart sink.  It was becoming clear that she was going to have to face Mayor Wilkins again, this time with Angelus and probably sorcerer boy present.  _Fuck.  This isn’t how this was supposed to go._   The sorcerer withdrew back into the shadow, but she could still **_feel_** his presence watching them.  Keeping her from accomplishing her goal.  _Fuck fuck fuck._

“Let’s go,” Faith growled, and Angelus followed her out of the mansion.  They didn’t walk far before he decided to test his luck again.

“So, who knew that our precious little Buffy was a closet dyke this whole time?”  He was walking a step behind her, so she couldn’t see his face.  But she could hear the jeering in his tone.  Her fist clenched around her stake, but she kept her eyes forward, ignoring the slur and ignoring him.

His voice was closer now, and she could hear him trying to sound what she guessed would’ve passed for sultry if she found him at all desirable.  “Or maybe she **_isn’t_** , and **_someone_** just really wished she was.”  This time, she only just barely managed to tamp down her urges before she spun around, threw him against the wall, and staked him then and there.  Faith had been around this guy for five minutes, and already she could see what a sadistic bastard he was without his soul.  _So that’s his thing then—he enjoys pressing buttons, getting people riled up, finding ways to torture them with their own insecurities.  Well fuck him, I’m not gonna bite._

“Come on, Faithie, I thought you were supposed to be the fun Slayer.”

“Fuck you,” she spat, before she could stop herself. 

“Yeahh, there’s the spirit.  Oh, you just really **_hate_** me, don’t you?  Can’t stand that the evil vampire got the girl.  I mean, hell, what does that even say about you?  How broken and pathetic must you be that Buffy would choose me over you every time?”  Faith’s body reacted without any conscious thought, and now she was seeing red again.  She slammed him into the wall, left forearm pinning him there by the throat and right pressing the stake into his chest with enough force to break skin.

“Say her name again.  Say it one more fucking time!  And I swear you won’t make it to the boss.  I don’t give a shit, and believe me, you don’t wanna test that.”  She pushed off of him and kept walking, before the sorcerer could reappear and melt her face off or whatever.

He still couldn’t resist letting out a soft chuckle, still pushing her.  “Guess I touched a nerve there.  Better watch myself.”  They continued on in tense silence, but fortunately it wasn’t too long a walk to City Hall, especially not at the brisk pace Faith had set for them.

The second they stepped into the office, Angelus closing the door behind them, the sorcerer reappeared.  Again, he looked only at the Mayor.  “Our business is concluded.  I trust you have upheld your end of the bargain.”

The Mayor grinned widely, but Faith could see the hint of annoyance in his eyes at the suggestion he might go back on a deal.  “It is done, my friend.”  As the sorcerer again faded away into shadow, Mayor Wilkins turned slightly in his chair, leaning back as he crossed one leg over the other, the picture of ease.  He gave them both a bright smile.  “Ah and this must be the infamous Angelus.  May I call you Angel?”

Angelus smirked, and for the first time that night, his attention was firmly on someone other than Faith.  _Good, you two can fuck with each other’s heads instead of mine._  Angelus took a step into the office, but Faith hung back, leaning against the wall and watching the interaction.  With any luck, maybe they’d kill each other.  “Well, actually,” Angelus sneered, “I'm thinking more along the lines of you calling me Master.”  Faith knew Angel at least well enough to know he wasn’t quite that much of a megalomaniac, and she could tell that his ostentatious quip was a test, to see if the Mayor would rise to his bait.

The seasoned politician did not.  In fact, he seemed completely unfazed.  “Ah.  You know, Angelus, attitude may get you attention, but courtesy wins respect.”  His voice dripped with disappointment, and Faith couldn’t help but note the bizarre humor in the situation.  Not only was the Mayor not intimidated by Angelus, he was treating him like an insolent teenager.  Faith couldn’t exactly disagree with that assessment of the vampire, with or without his soul, but as the Mayor chuckled dismissively, her chest tightened with an increasing level of anxiety.  The more she thought about it, the more she came to realize just how scared of the Mayor she should probably be.  “As I’m sure you’re now aware, I am the one responsible for your new attitude.”

Angelus stepped all the way up to the desk, picking up a metal letter opener, which sounded quite hefty as he dragged it ominously across the wooden surface of the desk.  Then he prowled back around the chairs to the opposite corner of the room.  “And that’s the only reason I’m here,” he answered, fingers playing with the sharp instrument in his hand.

The Mayor surveyed Faith, and she was a little concerned with his lack of a smile, but then he quickly turned his attention back to Angelus.  “And I take it there were no problems with the transition?  No side effects?”

“Had a soul, now I'm free.”

“That's terrific!” He paused, and if he found Angelus’ refusal to focus on anything but the letter opener as unnerving as Faith did, he hid it well.  “Poetic too.  Not that I read much poetry except for those little ones in the Reader's Digest.  You know, some of those are quite catchy.”  As he chuckled again, Angelus finally looked up.

“Hey, I don’t mean to rush things here but are you trying to get to some kind of point?”

This time, the Mayor’s eyes did widen a bit before he got control of his features.  It was less than a second, but instantly both Faith and Angelus knew that the vampire’s antics were getting to Wilkins.  But the politician remained seated, continuing to affect a certain kind of unworried nonchalance.  “Kids today.”  Faith’s eyes narrowed.  _Yeah, so I don’t know if the Mayor is actually the forty-something human he appears to be, but I’d be pretty shocked if Angel doesn’t at least have a good hundred years on ya there, bud._   “Rush rush rush.  Well the point, **_Angel_** , is you're a very powerful young man, and there just may be future for you in Sunnydale, particularly now that I have an opening on my staff.”  Wilkins’ gaze fell to the instrument in Angelus’ hand.  “I see you're admiring my letter opener.”

“Well, actually, I was thinking of stabbing you through the heart with it.”  This was an outcome Faith could get behind, and she gripped her stake firmly.  If Angelus took out the Mayor, she’d be free to stake him then and there, and the whole thing would be real simple to explain to Buffy.

Except that the Mayor’s response sucked all the air from the room, immediately chilling any hopeful thoughts dancing through Faith’s head.  He turned in his chair so that he was facing Angelus head on, then he spread open his hands, allowing for easy aim at his chest.  “Please do,” he commanded cheerfully.

To his credit, Angelus didn’t hesitate, but before she could blink the Mayor raised his right hand and caught the letter opener  ** _through_** his palm.  The blade was buried to its hilt, and she could just see the sharp tip of it sticking out the other side, surprisingly bloodless.  “Many apologies.  I really **_did_** mean to let you stab me in the chest, but then I remembered how much I love this shirt.”  He smiled broadly, and Faith couldn’t hide the horror she was feeling.  She was sure that it was written all over her face, but fortunately for her, the two men were focused solely on each other.  “It was a nice shot, though.”

His little show finished, Wilkins pulled the letter opener out of his hand and set it down carefully on the desk, lining it up longways against a stack of papers.  As he did so, the skin of his palm stitched itself together seamlessly.  “You see, I’m what you might call impervious.  Can't be killed or harmed in any way.”  He stood then, hands pressed firmly to his desk as he leaned forward to look them both in the eye.  Genuine pleasure and joy radiated from his disconcertingly warm features.  “And that's just a cornerstone in my plans for this great town of ours.”

Angelus eyed the large bottle of hand sanitizer on the corner of the desk.  “Can't be killed, but you don't like germs?”  The taunt, and Faith guessed that’s what it was, was so tame compared to those he’d leveled at her on the walk over that she couldn’t help but wonder if he was every bit as terrified as she was.

He walked around the desk until he was face-to-face with Angelus, with only a few inches of space between them.  The threat in his body language was clear, even as his tone was playful to the point of silliness.  “Uck, eew, awful things, unsanitary.”  He raised an eyebrow at Angelus.  “But my question is, now that Faith has brought you back, what are your intentions?”

The vampire’s tone was back to its previous levels of wicked glee.  “Well, **_gee_** , sir, I thought I'd find that Slayer that's given you so much trouble and torture, maim, and kill her.”  Faith bristled.  _I will so fucking kill you before I let you lay a hand on B, you sick fuck._

But the Mayor was eating it up.  “Fine!  You know it's nice to see you're not one of those slacker types running around town today.  Torture Buffy. Killing her's fine, just make it a slow one.” 

“My favorite kind.”

“Wonderful, wonderful. We don't want a replacement Slayer anytime soon.”  Faith’s brow furrowed again.  It’d never occurred to her that another Slayer might be called if Buffy died.  She didn’t exactly have a firm grasp on the metaphysics of the whole calling thing.  If one Slayer died and was brought back, over and over again, could they make a Slayer army?  A cold shudder worked its way down her spine.  That was a dark thought.  The Mayor’s gaze turned back to her, and Faith worked to keep her inner turmoil off of her face.  “They can't all turn out like my girl Faith.”  Faith smiled brightly at him, playing the part she felt she had to in order to survive.  “Now, you two have fun.” 

Knowing that she was being dismissed, Faith walked out of the room without another word.  Still, she could hear when the Mayor stopped Angelus, to once again assert his creepy doting father shtick.  “Do try to have her home by eleven.”  Angelus didn’t answer him, following Faith back out into the night.

While they were both aware that the Summers’ house was their ostensible destination, Faith didn’t imagine that either of them expected to reach it.  Not together at least.  They were sizing each other up yet again.  Angelus was many things, but she didn’t think he was stupid enough to think she’d actually let him hurt Buffy.  Meanwhile, Faith was just pondering when her best chance would be to catch him off guard. 

Hoping that maybe something would happen on the way over to distract him, even for a second, Faith decided to take her time and continue to play along.  As they turned a corner and saw Xander, of all people, walking towards them, she decided that was a good idea.  Not sure how he would’ve reacted to the sight of them locked in mortal combat.  She could hear him muttering something about jailbait and Wesley being a limey bastard, but then he caught sight of them.

“Hey guys!” he greeted warmly, as if he didn’t know that she kinda hated him.  “Man, where you been?  You gotta find Buffy.  She's going to her place and stocking up on—”  Angelus punched him in the face without slowing his pace at all, and Xander crumpled to the sidewalk as the two of them kept walking past him.

“That guy just bugs me,” Angelus muttered, and Faith almost chuckled.  _Guess that’s the one single thing we can actually agree on._   As they continued along familiar streets, Faith got an idea.  May as well try to get under his skin, instead of the other way around.

“So, you’re really not any different than Angel, right?”  He couldn’t hide his disgust at the question, glaring sideways at her.

“Why do you care?”

“Don’t.  But hell, I guess I’m curious.  Always wondered if you were just playin’ her and everyone, or if the soul really made any sort of difference.”  She found herself surprised that she was actually genuinely curious about his response, but it didn’t stop her from constantly analyzing the situation for her opening.

“Screw that guy.  Angel was like … the most watered down, pathetic version of me.  Always so ashamed off all my greatest achievements.  I’m one of the greatest vampires in modern history, and that mopey sack of shit just wanted to crawl through the sewers, munching on disgusting rats while crying about how guilty he felt.”

It didn’t really answer her question.  “But he’s still **_you_** ,” she insisted, asserting it as fact in the hopes of getting a rise out of him.  Unfortunately, he never dropped his guard, even as his eyes continued to flash angrily. 

“Sure, in a way.  He’s me, but docile and brainwashed into believing he can be something he’s not.  But I’m always there, just below the surface.  Just waiting for my chance to be free again.  He’s got all my impulses, all my instincts, **_all_** my desires—he’s just too pathetic to act on them.  Always holding himself back.”

“Then you could never love Buffy.  Not really.”  Again, she was prodding him with what she guessed—maybe even hoped—was the actual truth of the matter.  And this time, she got the result she wanted.  Angelus growled, taking a step forward to avoid her gaze as he insisted, with a surprising amount of confused emotion in his words, “Of **_course_** not—”

She pounced before he could finish, tackling him from behind.  Her movement was so sudden that her knife slid out of her jacket, clattering to the sidewalk, but she refused to be distracted.  Angelus had given her this tiny opening, and she was damn well going to use it.  Buffy could finally be free.

Faith kept all her weight down on the vampire as she pulled her stake up to drive it down as forcefully as she could.  “It ends here, Angel.  You ain’t gonna make it to the Mayor’s big graduation day party, because I’m ending you here and now.  You’ll never hurt her again.”  Her stake drove down, but its downward arc was halted as a thin but powerful arm came out of nowhere and grabbed Faith by the wrist.  Her eyes raised just in time to recognize a righteously pissed off Buffy, whose haunted eyes glared at her with a fury she’d never seen there before. 

Then Buffy punched her, sending her flying against a nearby wall.

~~~~

Buffy kept an eye on them from the minute they left City Hall.  She felt like her heart hadn’t stopped pounding since Giles told her what was going on.  He was approached by an old friend, a sorcerer who he’d apparently introduced to his wife, with a grave warning.  He had been contracted by Mayor Wilkins to take Angel’s soul, which apparently could be done through some sort of dark ritual, and because of their history, the sorcerer wanted to give Giles the heads up. 

The worst part, the part that made Buffy feel like Giles had actually reached inside her chest and physically ripped her heart out when he told her, was that Faith was working with the Mayor.  Faith was the one who was on her way to the mansion to confront Angel and begin the ritual.  Faith.

Unfortunately, things were moving quickly at that point.  Giles asked the sorcerer to go to Angel, explain what was happening, and turn the situation to their advantage.  The ritual he performed was a sham, and Angel would play as Angelus and see what sort of information he could get from Faith and the Mayor.  Then Giles had come to find Buffy.

Buffy still felt numb.  She’d gone to the mansion first, then City Hall.  The hardest part had been seeing Faith and Angel walk out of there, together.  That was when she knew it was all true.  She had trusted Faith, let herself grow to care for her in a way Buffy still didn’t even fully understand, and the girl had betrayed her.  Even more deeply than Giles had, in a way. 

She felt devastated.  She knew Faith had a darkness in her, had seen flashes of it over time, especially after she’d accidentally killed Deputy Mayor Finch.  And after Faith’s vague admission as to the horrors of her childhood, Buffy had some idea of where that darkness came from.  But she never imagined Faith was capable of this.

Buffy had followed stealthily, trying to get a sense of where Faith’s head was at, how she could’ve justified her actions.  She overheard as Faith poked and prodded about the differences between Angelus and Angel.  She heard the tension in the girl’s voice as she insisted that Angel couldn’t possibly love Buffy.  And finally, when Faith had made her move, Buffy had sprung into action to stop her.

As Faith’s stake drove at Angel’s back, a wave of revulsion rose up like bile in Buffy’s throat, hot and thick and painful.  As Faith looked up at her, Buffy’s hand holding onto her wrist like a vice, she couldn’t breathe.  Everything she thought she knew about Faith shattered in that moment.  And it filled her with a fury she couldn’t quite understand.  She hit Faith with enough force that it might have broken the jaw of a regular person, and it was enough to knock her off her feet, throwing her against the wall of the building behind her.

The words escaped Buffy’s throat without thought, harsh and biting.  “How could you do this, Faith?!”  She advanced on the other girl slowly, and Faith shook off the pain of the hit as she pulled herself back to her feet.  “You’re working with **_the Mayor_**?!  **_Why_**?!”  The tears were hot and searing in her eyes, and they hardly cooled at all as they spilled down onto her cheeks.  “What is **_wrong_** with you?  You know how I feel about Angel.  You know that I **_love_** him.  How could you even think to do something so awful?”

“B, you don’t understand,” Faith tried to argue, but Buffy could see that Faith knew she was in the wrong.  The girl could barely meet her gaze.  “He’s bad for you.  And now, the Mayor took his soul—”

“ ** _You_** did that!” Buffy screamed, slamming her fist into Faith’s gut, and then grabbing her as she doubled over, tossing her again to the ground.  “Don’t lie to me!  Angel’s soul is **_just_** fine.  He only pretended so that he could get information.  Bad enough that you could get so lost in your jealousy that you would think to do this to him, just so you could kill him with a c-clean conscience.”  Buffy’s voice broke, and now there were tears in Faith’s eyes too.  They stood there, the Slayer glaring down her betrayer, and the air practically crackled with the tension between them.  ‘But you really thought you could cover it up?  Manipulate me into forgiving you?”  Buffy blinked back more tears, then whispered, “Why?  Why would you do this to me?”

Faith’s voice was every bit as pained as Buffy imagined that her own sounded.  “I had to protect you, even if that meant protecting you from yourself.  Soul or not, he’s a bad dude.  He’s not lookin’ out for you, B.  If he really cared, he would’ve left already.  You know it.  I know it.  **_He_** knows it.  I know this is all kinds of fucked up, believe me.  But I didn’t see another way.”

The revulsion rose up again, and for a moment, Buffy thought she might vomit.  “Faith, you could’ve **_talked_** to me.  I know how you feel about him, but never once have you been honest with me about your own feelings.  Never **_once_** have you actually tried to convince me to leave him.”  Faith shrank from the righteous anger in Buffy’s voice.  “Don’t you **_dare_** tell me this was your only option.”  She bit her lip, focusing on the physical pain to distract from the emotional turmoil threatening to overwhelm her.  “I never knew you had this kind of darkness in you.”

Faith’s eyes darted wildly between Buffy’s, then they turned, looking behind her to where Angel was standing, watching.  Instantly, they went from guilty to enraged, and her whole body tensed as if preparing to make her move again.  Buffy caught sight of the long knife that Faith had dropped when she tackled Angel, and she thought that she could get to it and get between Faith and Angel quickly enough.

Except that when she glanced back at Faith, the dark Slayer’s eyes were also on the knife.  _Faith, please don’t do this._   But they moved simultaneously, each diving at the knife, or so Buffy thought.  She was a bit closer, and she got there first.  She moved on pure instinct as she felt Faith drop to her knees beside her just as she clasped her fingers around the hilt of the knife.  She brought it up swiftly, balancing the edge of the blade just in front of Faith’s neck as she met the other girl’s eyes again.

It was only then that she noticed Faith had apparently been carrying a second knife, which was now held at her own neck.  Emerald eyes searched umber ones for any sign of the girl she had known.  And the most painful thing was that Faith was still in there.  Pain and regret lined the girl’s features, but she really did look lost, like she believed that she was trapped, without a way out.  _How did this happen?  How did we get here?_

Several moments passed, but then something in Faith broke.  She lowered her knife as a sob wracked her body, and the tears began to flow.  “I’m sorry, Buffy.  God, this is so fucked up.  **_I’m_** so fucked up.  I let you down.”  Faith blinked rapidly, searching Buffy’s eyes for further reprimand or retribution, but Buffy could feel all the rage draining from her.  All she could feel, again, was numbness. 

Buffy tensed as Faith leaned in, her body reacting to what she thought was another attack.  But this was no attack.  Faith’s hand cupped the back of Buffy’s head, fingers threading lightly through her hair as their lips met.  Faith’s lips were every bit as soft as Buffy had imagined, but this wasn’t the way she had wanted it.  Faith tasted of sweat and salt, and she trembled against Buffy as the regret and anxiety threatened to overtake her.  If she had thought about what was happening, Buffy might have resisted, might have fought the kiss.  But her body acted on impulse, the shock of Faith’s unexpected action removing all thought from her mind.  For a single moment, nothing else mattered.  There was no pain, no betrayal, no anguish, and no antagonism.  Just two girls with feelings between them so strong that neither of them knew what to do with them.

Then Faith pulled away, and again, Buffy could see the agony and confusion in the other girl’s eyes.  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, then she stood and sprinted away as fast as she could.  Buffy felt too broken and confused herself to even consider going after her.  Buffy didn’t know how long she remained there, knees pressed to the cold hard concrete, Faith’s knife still held loosely in her hand.  She couldn’t bring herself to face Angel right then, not after what had just happened.  In one night, it felt like maybe Faith had shattered two relationships, instead of one. 

_What am I supposed to do now?_

~~~~

Faith didn’t know the extent to which the Mayor planned for all of this, or none of it.  And honestly, she didn’t care.  Part of her was just glad she had somewhere to go.  She’d done her best to act enthusiastic when he brought her to her new home.  Objectively, the spacious studio apartment was incredible.  It was the coolest place she had ever lived. 

The apartment was all one large open room that could’ve fit at least three of her bedrooms from the Summers house.  The floors were polished concrete, with a massive fluffy rug in the center of the apartment.  Two walls featured long, arched windows, and the ceilings were high enough that she could jump on the bed without coming close to hitting her head.  There was a long, thin raised nook area behind the bed, along one of the windows.  In the corner opposite the bed there was a large punching bag, and along the other window, a small, two-person table.  The living area featured a curvy maroon couch and two plush blue chairs with a small table between them, and a small kitchenette was tucked against the wall, behind which a small hallway led to the bathroom.  In the other corner, there was a small TV stand, with a decently sized television and (her favorite part of her new home) a Playstation.

As far as Faith was concerned, it was a palace, and apparently, it was all hers.  And yet, she couldn’t enjoy any of it.  Faith felt completely dead inside.  Faith had exactly one person in her life who actually cared, one.  Buffy.  And because Faith couldn’t get over her own screwed up insecurities, she’d completely blown up that relationship.  She’d let her jealousy cloud her judgment, she’d allowed herself to justify stooping so low just to get what she wanted at any cost … and it had all blown up in her face.  Faith didn’t think she would ever forget the image of pure revulsion on Buffy’s face after she stopped Faith from dusting Angel.  The shock and hurt in her voice as she had taken Faith to task for what she dif.  _I had one friend, and now I have nothing.  Except the Mayor, who scares the complete shit out of me._  

“Well, you win some, you lose some,” she could hear him saying from his seat on the couch.  “From where I'm sitting, it's batting average that counts.  So what, you lost some friends.”

“Wouldn’t exactly call ‘em friends,” she muttered.

“Well, what are you worried about?  Chin up!  You don't see me looking disappointed.  Heck, no.  You know why?  Because I know you'll always have me, Faith.  I'm the best, the most important friend you'll ever have.”  She tried to convince herself that that was a good thing.  Wilkins gave her the willies, but she honestly couldn’t tell whether his whole nice guy, doting father act was genuine or fake.  It could very well be that he saw something in her, and that’s why he sought her out.  **_He’s clearly got his dark side, but who am I to judge?_** Maybe she could form an actual bond with him, soften some of his edges. 

Faith still didn’t know what the Ascension was, or what the Mayor had planned for graduation day.  At the very least, she could try to find out.  Maybe he would turn out not to be that big a bad—maybe she could even get behind what he was working towards.  And if not, if it was some sort of dark evil horror thing, then she’d be in the perfect spot to fight the evil from the inside.  Maybe if she got lucky, she would die saving the world for once.  Her miserable, wretched life might have been worth a damn in that case.

“Still unhappy?” he chided her as she slumped grumpily into one of the blue chairs.  He stood, considering her for several moments, then a bright smile broke out across his lips.  “Okey doke.  I've got two words that are going to make all the pain go away.”  As he spoke, he walked over and took a seat across from her.  “Miniature golf.”  He waggled his eyebrows in the goofiest possible expression, grinning unabashedly.  Faith shook her head, but she did manage to smile a little.  “There’s my girl.  You get some rest, and we’ll head over first thing in the morning.  Maybe I’ll even bring you some donuts!”


	16. Not Beyond Saving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Choices

The bright sunlight streaming in through the windows is warm and comforting, even through the slightly closed blinds.  Faith hasn’t ever told her this, but she really loves Buffy’s bedroom.  She always feels at home there.  As she looks across the bed at the blonde, she smiles brightly, without any hesitation or pretense.  _I love this girl._   Buffy smiles back at her just as brightly, and Faith can feel the familiar warmth radiating off of her. 

As they fold the pristine white sheet, Buffy asks,  “They smell good don’t they?”

Faith is so distracted by how adorable Buffy’s nose is that she doesn’t hear a word the other girl says.  “What?” she asks, blushing slightly.

“Clean sheets,” Buffy deadpans, playfully mocking how easily Faith let herself get distracted. 

Faith can feel the beginnings of a wicked grin forming along her lips.  “Yeah well, they damn sure needed cleanin’ after the things you did to me last night, B.”  The blonde’s eyes widen, a bright red blush blossoming in her cheeks as she remembers the hours of pleasure they’d shared before passing out, completely entangled in each other’s limbs.  Faith waggles her eyebrows seductively.

“Faith!”  Buffy can’t fight the contagious smile that breaks across her beautiful lips.  “Sometimes I think you get off on trying to embarrass me.”

“Hey, you get me off just fine on your own, B.”  This time, Buffy expects the off-color remark, and she simply rolls her eyes.

“Seriously though, they smell like summer.  I love it.”

A chill runs through Faith, a painful sense of foreboding.  “Yeah, well … I wouldn’t know,” she mutters, suddenly wistful.

Buffy’s eyes dart down, and she feels ashamed of herself.  “Right.  Sorry.  I forgot.”

“I noticed,” Faith chides, thinking about how long it has been since Buffy came to visit her.  Half the time she isn’t even aware of the other girl’s presence, but her visits are still the only light in the darkness all those months.

Buffy’s face falls further.  “Faith, I’m sorry.  I just … I wish I could stay, but—”

“No,” Faith can’t decide between being angry at Buffy and trying to reassure her.  She knows that she no longer has a place in the girl’s life.  Buffy has moved on.  “I get it.  We made my bed—” she looks pointedly at the crisp sheets between them, “—and now I’ve gotta lie in it.  You go.  Don’t let me keep—”  Faith feels a sharp pain in her gut, and she looks down to see several drops of blood stain the white sheets.  “Damn.  Just when we made it so nice.”

Buffy moves around toward her, and as Faith looks deep in her eyes, all the love and affection she held for Faith is replaced in an instant with hatred and fury.  The pain in her gut intensifies, and Faith cries out at the sensation.  She looks down, and that’s when she realizes that she’s been stabbed.  From what she can see of it, the knife is gorgeous.  She can just see the hints of two wide barbs at the base of the blade sticking out of her, and beyond that, an asymmetrical, claw-like gunmetal cross guard that perfectly complements the dark leather of the curved hilt and the matching pointed pommel.

Buffy’s hand is wrapped firmly around the grip of the knife, and the blood is oozing out of Faith’s gut now.  “You ever gonna take this out?” she asks Buffy plaintively.  The blonde’s eyes flash with a sort of wicked glee that causes Faith even more pain.  Her chest tightens, and she accepts it.  She deserves far worse.  Deserves to be punished for all the evil she committed, everything she did to Buffy and her friends. 

Sensing Faith’s regret, Buffy twists the knife in her gut, then yanks it out as roughly as she can.  Faith feels as though she might pass out from the sheer agony of the injury, and everything fades to white, a blindingly hot pain consuming her.

As she sprang awake, Faith could still feel the white, hot pain in her gut, her hands yanking up the tank top she had fallen asleep in, searching her now perfectly smooth skin for any sign of Buffy’s attempt to kill her.  But there was nothing there.  She was fine.  Faith’s eyes darted around the room in confusion, and several seconds passed before she remembered that this was where she lived now.  The look of hatred in Buffy’s eyes felt seared into the fibers of her brain, even as she began to realize that it was a nightmare.  Bright sunlight streamed in from the window behind her, and even that reminded her of the dream.  She glanced at her alarm clock, which read 10:01 a.m.  _Always punctual._

The Mayor knocked on her door a second time, not having received any response when he knocked before.  “Comin’!” she shouted out at him, throwing off her blankets and finding a nearby pair of sweatpants.  Shaking off the bad vibes, she strode confidently over to the front door of her apartment.  It had taken a few days for her to start feeling that way, but the place definitely felt more and more like home every day.  She flipped the deadbolt and opened the door wide to find her boss waiting there, with a bright smile and a box in each hand.

In his left was a pink box that, as always, held donuts.  But in his right was an unexpected present, a long rectangular red box with a white ribbon and bow.  “Mornin’ Boss,” she greeted him cheerfully, trying to mask any lingering pain from her nightmare.  He strode past her, setting the box of donuts down on the kitchen counter before settling in one of the chairs.  He placed the present down on the table.

“Good morning, kiddo!” he beamed.  “Why don’t you grab yourself a donut and come have a seat.”  She closed the door, but rather than grab a single donut, she picked up the entire box.  She pulled one out as she settled into the chair across from him, taking a bite as he pushed the present towards her.

She smiled at him, and surprisingly, the warmth she felt was genuine.  “Fab.  What's the occasion?”  She continued scarfing down the donut in her hand.

“Faith!  As if I need a reason to show you my affection.”  Then he cracked a sly grin.  “Or my appreciation for running a small errand at the airport.”

Faith made a face.  “Airport, huh?  What's next?  Gonna want me to help a buddy of yours move a sofa?”

“This isn't a free ride, young lady.”  His tone was still playful, but his voice dropped a half octave in the way it did when he wanted her to know he didn’t appreciate her attitude.  “You know, I'm beginning to think that somebody's getting a little spoiled.”  He reached for the present.  “Maybe I should take this back.”

Faith slapped his hand away playfully.  “Sorry … sir.”  She managed not to roll her eyes as she said it, knowing that he’d be pleased with her manners.

And he was.  “That's my girl.”  He chuckled, before insisting she have another donut.  Which she did.  “Now. A package is arriving tomorrow night from Central America.  Something, and I **_can't_** stress this enough, something **_crucially_** important to my Ascension.  Without it ... Well!  What would a glazed donut be without the frosting?  A pretty darn big disappointment, I can tell you.”  He giggled at his own joke, even as Faith rolled her eyes at him.  “Open your present, “ he insisted, and she wiped her hands on her pants before reaching for it.

When she opened it, a wave of shock and revulsion crashed down over her, rendering her speechless.  She barely registered Mayor Wilkins’ glib, “There.  That look on your face is my reward.”  Inside the box was the very knife that had been buried to the hilt in her gut just a few minutes ago. _That was a dream,_ she tried to assure herself.  But the knife was too unique, too intricate for this to be a coincidence.  The curved hilt.  The claw-like pommel and asymmetrical cross-guard.  The blade she was seeing for the first time, a paler silver than the gunmetal cross-guard and pommel, with a wide, split blade and the signature barbs at its base.

Faith did her best to hide the feeling of dread pooling in her gut.  “This is a thing of beauty, Boss.”

“Well, it cost a pretty penny.  So, you just take good care of it.  And you be careful not to put somebody's eye out with that thing, until I tell you to.”  She smiled brightly at him, but she knew the sentiment was fake.  The knife felt powerful and symbolic in her hand, and it terrified her.  Even as she tried to fight away the memories of her nightmare, she couldn’t help thinking of the last weapon that was gifted to her.

Buffy’s ax was still back at the Summers’ house, along with every other thing Faith had previously owned.  After that night, Faith couldn’t risk returning there, and it hurt her to think of things she had left behind.  Not as much as it hurt to think of the people she had left behind, but that ax especially had meant a lot to her.  _Don’t guess B will ever have my back again._   The familiar sense of loathing and self-hatred began to inch its way through Faith’s veins.  _I don’t deserve that ax._ Suddenly the knife held an entirely different meaning for her.  It was a representation of all her failings, how far she had sunk.  New, darker life; new, darker weapon.  _I wouldn’t blame B if she **did** stab me with this thing._ 

Faith set the knife back down in its box, distracting herself with the sugary goodness of another donut.  “So, this airport thing is goin’ down tonight then?”  In response, a devious smile spread across Mayor Wilkins’ face.

~~~~

It was another bright, sunny day in Sunnydale.  In fact, every day since Buffy had learned of Faith’s betrayal had been bright and sunny, and that felt so very wrong, on a fundamental level.  Buffy felt strongly that the weather around her should be just as dark and stormy as her internal countenance.  _But since when do I get what I want?_

She and Willow were eating their lunch in a grassy area out on the edge of campus.  She’d asked Xander and Oz to let them have some girl time alone for lunch today, because she desperately needed to talk to Willow about everything that was happening lately.  Except that after they sat down, Buffy found herself eating in silence, with no idea where to start, and she could tell that Willow was getting impatient with her now.  While she waited, the witch used her nervous energy to float and slowly spin a pencil in the air.

“So … Mom found out I got into Northwestern.” Buffy blurted out, just trying to combat the silence between them.  Based on the sudden wobble in the pencil, Willow wasn’t exactly expecting that particular revelation.

“Oh?  And how’d she take it?”

“I don’t know, I think she’s firmly in denial land.  Faith hasn’t been back to the house since …  a-and I know Mom’s worried.  She’s just looking for any good news she can grasp onto, but … I mean, she just has to realize that I can’t go away.”

Willow frowned but offered her a look of pure sympathy.  “What did you tell her about Faith?”

Buffy’s hands went immediately to her face, where she tried to rub the stress out of the area around her eyes, without smudging her makeup.  “Ugh.  Will… I didn’t know what to tell her.  Kept things vague.  I just said that Faith’s in a dark place, and she’s making some bad decisions right now.  I don’t think she’d do anything to hurt Mom, but clearly I have **_no_** clue what she’s capable of anymore.”  Buffy fought the heat behind her eyes.  Now wasn’t the time for tears.  “I don’t even know where she’s staying now.”

“Faith can take care of herself, we know at least that.”  Buffy started to snap back that Faith’s well-being was the last thing on her mind, but she could feel her chest unclench just the slightest bit at the thought that Faith probably wasn’t living on the street or anything.   _I_ _can’t just turn off my feelings._   “And anyway, are you so sure you really can’t go away for school?  Have you talked to Gi—”

Buffy interrupted, “Faith’s turn to the dark side of the Force pretty much put the proverbial kibosh on any away plans for me.”  She paused, remembering how differently she’d been thinking about things after she got her SAT scores.  “God, this is so depressing.  I was **_so_** stupid.  I wasn’t even sure about going to college at all—some part of me just figured Faith and I would hang around the Hellmouth indefinitely, fighting the big evil together, the Chosen Two.  Who needs a normal life?  And now … now, she might **_be_** the big evil, and it’s on me to be the **_only_** Slayer yet again.”  A couple of tears escaped her eyelids, despite her fight to keep her emotions in check, and Willow dropped the pencil back to the ground, reaching out to rub Buffy’s arm soothingly.

“Hey, she’s **_not_** the big evil, okay?”  Buffy met Willow’s gaze, and the witch seemed so confident.  _How can she be so sure of that?_ Buffy didn’t trust anything she had thought she knew about Faith at this point.  She couldn’t think straight when it came to the dark Slayer.  “Nope.  Come on.  You know her better than any of us, but I got to know her just a little myself, right?  She’s lost, probably very broken, but Buffy—she **_isn’t_** evil.  We can’t give up on her.”

Buffy didn’t think she could give up on Faith even if she wanted to, but she didn’t know where to go from here.  She couldn’t imagine how Faith could fit herself back into their lives after what she did, and that was even assuming she wanted to.  If she didn’t know any better, she would’ve guessed Faith finally left town for good, but she had seen enough signs to know that she wasn’t the only one still patrolling the streets at night.  Whatever her involvement with the Mayor, Faith hadn’t completely turned her back on her calling.

She took another bite of her sandwich.  “So, UC Sunnydale, then?” Willow asked. 

Buffy nodded.  “Guess I’ll try the whole college thing.  Sounds like more fun than trying to find a day job, anyway.”  She frowned, realizing how self-centered the conversation had been so far.  “And you!  I mean I can't believe you got into Oxford!”

Willow grinned, but she seemed a little distracted.  “It's pretty exciting.”

“That's where they make Gileses!” Buffy beamed.  Despite all the darkness the week had brought her, she was tremendously proud of her friend.  Willow had gotten into Harvard, Yale, Oxford, and a handful of other fancy schools Buffy hadn’t really even heard of.  But that brought with it a different kind of sadness.  Buffy was going to miss the hell out of Willow as she moved on to bigger and better things, but it was for the best.  Just because Buffy was tethered to the horrors of Slayerdom didn’t mean her friends should be. 

“Speaking of Giles,” Willow shifted the subject just slightly, “how are things between you two lately?”

“Things are … better,” Buffy divulged, a little uncertain about how to define ‘better.’  “I mean … he’s been nothing but supportive.  I think he has his own issues with Faith, but he could’ve really been awful about her after everything, and he hasn’t been.  He knows that I want to help her, and he seems genuinely interested in helping me do that.”

“You think Giles doesn’t like Faith?”  Willow sounded surprised by this news, and Buffy winced a little.  She guessed she had been sort of avoiding the topic of Giles until recently.

“Umm, yeah.”  Buffy grimaced.  “If I had to guess, Faith went off on him after the whole Cruciathingie.  She refused to talk to him after that, and he’s seemed tense around her ever since.”

“You think she threatened him?”  Willow gasped.  Buffy had kept the details on that ordeal fuzzy.  They needed to continue working with Giles, and she didn’t want to ruin anyone else’s relationship with the librarian.  It was enough that she and Faith knew what had been done.

“I wouldn’t put it past her,” Buffy confirmed.  Her heart warmed a little, even now, at the thought of how protective Faith could be at times.  But then that made the betrayal sting all the more.  _How could she do this?_

Again looking to change the subject, Willow asked curiously, “So, how is Angel handling all of this?”  And, oh wow, that was so not something Buffy knew how to talk about right then.  She blew out a long, frustrated breath as she gathered her thoughts.  “That bad, huh?”

“Things are, uh, a little tense lately,” Buffy confirmed.  What she left off was that she’d asked Angel for some space, and they hadn’t talked at all since then.  She had no idea what to do with him either.  Things had seemed so simple when they’d gotten back together, but more and more, she felt like she had been living in some depression-fueled fantasy land.

“Because of Faith?”  Buffy winced at the question, remembering how frustrated he had looked when she had finally remembered that he was there with her on that sidewalk.  Faith had kissed her, then run off into the night, and Buffy had just sat there, devastated, for who knows how long.  Her attention was solely on Faith, not the boyfriend she’d tried to kill, and Angel seemed fully aware of that fact when he’d finally gotten her attention again.

Without thinking, Buffy blurted out, “She kissed me.” 

Willow’s eyes immediately turned to saucers.  “In front of Angel?” she hissed, gripping Buffy’s arm tightly.  Buffy just nodded.  She wasn’t even sure she felt guilty about it.  Faith had kissed her, not the other way around.  But she also couldn’t pretend that she didn’t enjoy it.  It was the one good thing that happened that night, and even it was tainted by everything else.  “What did he say?!”

Buffy balked.  “Oh, you mean when we straightforwardly had a conversation about what was going on between me and Faith?”

Willow rolled her eyes.  “So, you bailed?”

Sighing, Buffy conceded the point.  _May as well tell her everything._   “I asked for some space.  He didn’t say much.  Just asked me if I was still his girl.  I told him always … but it just isn’t that simple anymore.”

“Because you like Faith or because of the whole vampire thing?”

“All of the above?” Buffy quipped.  “It’s everything.  Even when I decided to get back together with him, I knew it was more or less doomed.  It was just … easy.  I figured happiness wasn’t a thing I could realistically hope for, and why not settle for safe and comfy?”  Buffy’s shoulders sagged.  “God, that sounds so awful.  What is **_wrong_** with me?”

Willow hugged her, and after a moment of hesitation, Buffy returned the embrace.  Sometimes, she didn’t know what she would do without Willow there to put things in their proper context, and she didn’t know how she had let things between them get so weird after LA.  Again, she felt a sharp pang of sadness at the thought of Willow going away to school. 

As they pulled out of the hug, Willow gave her a firm, almost playfully scolding look.  “Nothing is wrong with you, Buffy.  He loves you, and you love him.  That doesn’t make your problems any less problemy, but it’s completely understandable why you would hold onto something familiar and comforting like that.”

“Except now nothing is comforting,” Buffy whined, and Willow pursed her lips.  “Sorry.  It’s just … I can’t pretend I don’t have all these confusing feelings for Faith, but now she’s giving into all the darkness inside, and honestly, Will, why is it that everyone I start to fall for turns out to be bad?”

Willow laughed at that, and Buffy made a face.  “Sorry, Buff, but if you can’t laugh at it, things will get way too morose.”  That didn’t make Buffy feel any better.  “Ugh, sorry, I’m not trying to make light of anything here.  And I can’t tell you what to do.  Just … you have to figure out what’s best for you, regardless of whether that hurts Angel or Faith or both.  If they really care about you, they’ll want what’s best for you, even if neither of them is great at talking about their feelings.  You just have to listen to your heart.”

Buffy could feel her nose crinkle in frustration.  “Ugh, I just wish my heart would speak up.  And preferably in English.”  This time they both laughed a little, and Buffy felt the tiniest bit better about the world, if only for a moment.

~~~~

The Mayor sent a vampire with her to get his package from the courier at the airport.  Wilkins had agreed to meet the guy in person and pay with cash, and while he hadn’t given Faith any specific instructions, the fact that she was going in his place—and the distinct lack of any cash he’d given her with which to make the exchange—told her that this was another test.  He wanted that package, by any means necessary, and he was curious how she would go about making that happen.

The vampire had tried to make small talk on the way over, and it had taken a tremendous amount of restraint on her part not to dust the guy.  While riding in the Mayor’s limo had been pretty sweet, no amount of luxuries or bright smiles could make her feel comfortable working with vampires.  As far as she was concerned, they were all good-for-nothing fiends whose only talents were violence, mayhem, and pain.  In an attempt to balance the scales, she’d been working extra hard patrolling lately, whenever the Mayor didn’t need her.  Maybe his flunkies were off limits, but the rest of the vampire population wasn’t.  She was still a Slayer, even if she no longer really felt like she deserved to consider herself one of the Chosen Two.

On the way over, Faith put together a plan, and she put it into action as soon as they arrived.  A small private plane was landing just as they pulled up, and Faith tasked the vampire with the initial negotiations.  “Don’t kill him,” she ordered.  “Just see if you can get him to give you the box.  Use your brain,” she snarked, and she didn’t even think he realized that she was making fun of him.  While he handled that to the best of what she was sure was a very meager ability, she was going to find a place to hide and stake out the exchange.

Yesterday, she had snuck back into the Summers’ house in the middle of the day, to avoid any potential awkward confrontations.  She’d grabbed some clothes, her comics, and her compound bow.  Which would come in plenty handy for this errand.  She wanted to get a good grasp on what she was dealing with here before deciding how to handle things.  She just hoped the vampire could keep the courier talking long enough.

Faith waited patiently and watched as a tall, broad-shouldered man with tan, brown skin and long dark hair pulled into a tight ponytail exited the aircraft.  He looked human, as far as she could tell, and he was carrying a large, square box.  It was dark, so she couldn’t see well enough to get a good look at it, but it was a couple of feet squared and made of metal or stone, maybe.  More importantly, it was handcuffed to his right wrist.  As the vampire walked out to meet the courier, she could already tell by the guy’s body language he wasn’t happy to see anyone other than Wilkins.

The courier’s voice was gruff and impatient.  “Is he in the car?”

“No, I'll take you to him.”  As the vampire opened the limo door for the man, Faith bit back a frustrated growl.  Another part of the plan the Mayor hadn’t told her.  _Is he fuckin’ with me?  What am I supposed to do here?_

Courier guy didn’t much care for that answer.  He kicked the door shut, towering menacingly over the fairly short vampire.  “The Mayor was supposed to be here in person, with the money.  Well, the price just went up.  I don’t like surprises.”  _Damn, he’s gonna **hate** me._   Assessing the situation on the fly, Faith decided that the Mayor was looking for a show of force from her.  Proof that she was willing to make hard choices.  So, she decided to reduce the courier’s negotiating power.

Faith nocked an arrow silently, drew it back until she felt the perfect amount of tension in the bow, and lined up her shot perfectly.  The arrow flew straight and true, and the courier cried out in pain and crumpled to the ground as the arrow pierced his right knee.  “Surprise,” Faith called out, channeling her inner Buffy quippiness.

She climbed down from her hiding spot and walked over slowly, allowing the courier to really grapple with the pain of his injury.  She also didn’t want to rush over if he was going to bust out some hidden power source or demon appendages or anything.  Sensing that she wasn’t in immediate danger, she finished her approach, standing next to the vampire as she eyed the no longer intimidating courier.

“You **_shot_** him,” the vampire gasped, bizarrely shocked by her action.  She glared at him dismissively.

“What are you, the narrator?”  She turned her attention to the courier, crouching down in front of him so that they could look eye to eye.  “I don’t know what sorta deal you had with the Mayor, but it looks like the terms have changed.  See, he sent me here, and he definitely didn’t give me any cash.  Way I see it, you got a choice to make.”  She did her best to present a façade of cool, uncaring coercion, and he continued to breath raggedly, trying his best not to show how much pain he was very clearly in.  “I’m takin’ that box, and it’s up to you whether you leave this airport in that plane or in a body bag.” 

He eyed her ruthlessly, and she could tell he was assessing just how willing he was to believe she’d kill a guy just because the Mayor told her to.  She absolutely wouldn’t, she had decided already that while she might be a monster, she wouldn’t be that sort of monster.  But the courier didn’t need to know that.

The man’s eyes hardened, and she could see he was about to make the wrong decision.  “You don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into, **_little girl_**.  Don’t test me any further than you already—”  She delivered a hard blow to the crown of his head, knocking him out in an instant. 

“Search him, get me the keys to those cuffs,” she ordered the vampire, standing back from the unconscious form.  The vampire did as he was told but didn’t find anything.  As he looked to her for further instruction, she realized she was going to have to do something awful here tonight, even if she wouldn’t kill the guy.  But she couldn’t let the vampire see how much it troubled her to do so.

Faith pulled out her fancy new knife.  “That won’t cut through steel,” the vampire jeered.  For a moment, she let her frustration get the better of her, and she punched him in the gut.  _Oh well, that’ll just further cement my reputation as the Mayor’s new take no shit, badass enforcer._

“No, but it’ll cut through bone,” she assured the idiot creature.  Faith gave serious consideration to testing whether the knife was sharp enough to decapitate a vampire in one swift stroke, but she knew the Mayor would give her a lot of shit if she did that.  She needed to continue proving herself to him, not give him extra reason to suspect her divided loyalties.  So instead, she turned to the gruesome task waiting at her feet.

After freeing the box from the guy’s wrist, her heart sank at the sight of the ghastly wound, now pouring blood onto the pavement.  _Shit.  He ain’t gonna make it if I just leave him here.  But I can’t exactly show mercy in front of the vamp._   Thinking quickly, she ordered the vampire to take the box and put it in the backseat.  He struggled a little with its weight, and while he was distracted, she pulled out her lighter.  _This is gonna suck, but at least you’ll have a fighting chance, dude._   She held the flame to the wound until the skin and muscle and viscera started to melt together.  _Fuck, this stinks._   But at least the guy wouldn’t bleed out.

The limo ride back to City Hall was quiet, and Faith appreciated the fact that the vampire was now firmly afraid of her.  He dropped her off at the front steps without another word and drove off as soon as she had closed the door behind her with one foot.  The box was definitely heavier than it looked, and she had to carry it with two hands.  It was made out of some sort of ancient stone.

She made her way into the building and headed straight for Wilkins’ office.  As she burst through the double doors at the side of the room, he greeted her with a cheery, “Hey ho!  There it is!”  His smile widened as she set the hefty box down on his desk, and then his eyebrows quirked up.  “Ah, what happened to the courier?  I was supposed to pay him.”  _Like you don’t know,_ Faith growled internally.  But she kept a crooked grin on her face, playing the part she thought he wanted.

Deciding on a whim to turn this test around on the Mayor, Faith elected to lead him to believe she killed the courier.  She knew for a fact that he never spoke with low level peons like the vamp who accompanied her, and she wanted to see what his reaction would be.  She slid onto the corner of his desk and quirked an eyebrow playfully.  “Huh.”  She forced a wide, malevolent smile across her lips as she faced the Mayor.  “Made him an offer he couldn't survive.”  For good measure, she took the manila envelope of cash from Wilkins, stashing it in her jacket pocket.

The Mayor practically beamed at her, then burst out into hearty laughter.  Faith wasn’t sure she’d ever seen him this happy.  “You are one **_heck_** of a girl, you know that?  I mean **_geez_** , the initiative, the -the **_skill_**.”

“Go on, go on,” she cooed, doing her best to seem like she was loving the compliments, even as her stomach sank.  She moved over to one of the chairs and kicked her feet up on the desk. 

“I will!” he gushed, but he broke off his praise to scold the placement of her feet.  “You know, I'll tell you, if Buffy Summers walked in here and said she wanted to switch to our side, I'd say—” he snapped his fingers, “—no thanks, sister, I've got all the Slayer one man could ever need.”  Faith sighed, even as he chuckled at the sentiment, and he noticed the shift in her demeanor.  ”What?”

Faith’s eyes went wide as she realized she had dropped her guard.  ”Nothing,” she insisted.

Understanding spread across his face.  “Oh, it's cuz I used the B-word, huh?  Don't tell me you're still sore about that whole Angel-Buffy thing.”

Faith pushed off the chair and paced away from him as she answered, “No, I'm over it.”  She was absolutely **_not_** over it.  Faith wasn’t sure she would ever be over it.  “He can have her,” she snapped.

He paused, considering her for a moment.  She hoped that he was buying her disillusionment with Buffy, hoping that would make him less likely to go after her.  Then he smiled again.  “Better believe he can.  You can do better than that self-righteous cheerleader.”

Absentmindedly, Faith’s hands strayed to the heavy-duty clasps on the front edge of the box’s lid.  The Mayor reacted viscerally, leaping out of his chair and slamming both hands down on the lid forcefully.  His eyes were full of anger and warning.  “Don’t do that!” he shouted, and she backed away, hands in the air.

“My bad, Boss.  Wasn’t thinkin’.”

“It’s quite alright, Faith.  But this box is dangerous, and its contents are for me, and me alone.”  His normal ‘gee golly shucks’ veneer back in place, he smiled warmly at her again.  “Now, I’ve got a witch coming by any minute now to put up some protections around this box, but I can’t have anything go wrong.  I want you to stick around, take a few of the vampires, and patrol the grounds. Bring any intruders to me.”

Faith nodded along, but all the while she was praying that Buffy and her friends wouldn’t try anything.  Hopefully they had no idea what was going on here.  Regardless, Faith was dreading the day that her work for the Mayor put her into more direct conflict with Buffy.  She had no idea what she would do then.

~~~~

The Scoobies met in the library first thing in the morning so that Buffy could share the new information she’d gotten from the vampire she interrogated last night.  Thanks to her stakeout of City Hall, she’d seen Faith carry a mysterious box in for the mayor.  Buffy had stopped the vampire who drove the Mayor’s ostentatious limo, ripping him out of the driver’s seat and beating on him until she got the information she needed.

Everyone was there except Giles, Willow, and … _just Willow and Giles._ The rest of the **_remaining_** Scoobies were already present, plus Wesley.  And Giles and Willow were on their way.  Buffy explained that the mystery package was called the Box of Gavrok.  “It houses some great demonic energy or something which His Honor needs to chow down on come A-Day.”

Giles and Willow entered the library, and Giles was carrying a rolled up set of very large papers.

“What's that?” Wesley asked.

“Maps. And stuff,” Giles answered dryly.  Willow then explained that they were actually blueprints for City Hall.

“They’re keeping the box under guard in a conference room on the top floor.”  She looked over the plans Giles had laid out, until she found what she was looking for.  “There, maybe?  Unfortunately, that's all I could get out of my informant before his aggressive tendencies forced me to introduce him to the party end of my stake.”

“Well, now, here's what I think we should do—"

Buffy cut Wesley off as quickly as possible.  She didn’t give a damn what he thought they should do.  Instead, she faced Willow and Giles.  “I figure we can enter through the skylight.”  She traded an uneasy glance with Willow.  “I'll take Angel with me.”  Giles agreed to the plan, but Willow understood why Buffy might be wary of bringing Angel in on a mission right then.  Especially one that might risk a run in with Faith.

On her left, Xander looked up from the plans, pointing at something he had found.  “And there's a fire ladder on the east side of the building, here.”  That would be their way onto the roof.

Again, Wesley tried to add his two cents.  “Yes, yes, fine, but we still need to consider whether the Mayor—”  But again, the rest of the group disregarded him, and Giles voiced a concern with the plan.

“It won't be enough to simply have possession of the box.”

“Right,” Willow agreed.  “We have to destroy it.  Not just physically—ritually, with some down and dirty black magic.”  Buffy smiled at the witch’s enthusiasm.  Her friend had grown so much this year. 

Ignoring another inane comment from Wesley, Giles grabbed a nearby book, flipping through the pages as he discussed with Willow the standard ritual for this sort of thing, and they turned to Xander to go collect ingredients.  Xander took the book from Giles’ outstretched hand and headed for the door, and Oz followed, offering to give him a ride.  Finally, that was too much for Wesley, who blew a fuse.  “Alright, stop!  I demand everyone **_stop_** this instant!” he shouted.  Everyone looked at him, and Buffy smirked, already knowing what the self-righteous Watcher was going to say.  “I'm in charge here,” he preened, “and I say this is all moving **_much_** too fast.  We need time to fully analyze the situation and devise a proper and strategic stratagem.”

“Wes, I already told you.  You’ve **_never_** been in charge.  We tolerate your presence.”   She glared at him, causing him to shrink back a little.  “Now, hop on the train or get off the tracks.”

“The Mayor will most assuredly have supernatural safeguards protecting the box.”  When no one responded immediately, he sneered at them all.  “Oh, we all forgot about that, did we?”

Resisting the urge to punch him, Buffy turned back to Willow.  “Looks like a job for Wiccan girl.  What do you say, Will?  Big time danger.”  Buffy was done leaving Willow out of things at this point, as she had more than proven herself.  Plus, with Faith batting for the wrong team, and things uneasy between Buffy and Angel, Willow was even more important to the Scoobies than ever.

Willow practically glowed at Buffy’s confidence in her.  “Hey, I eat danger for breakfast,” she joked. 

Xander smiled brightly at her before adding, “But oddly enough, she panics in the face of breakfast foods.”  Willow shot a playful glare his way, and all three of them shared a brief moment.  Then Buffy gestured towards the door.

“Let's get to work.”  They all headed out, leaving Wesley behind stuttering like an idiot.

~~~~

They spent the rest of the day planning and putting things into place.  Willow, Xander, and Oz got all the ingredients together for the ritual, which they would perform in the library once the box was in hand.  Buffy and Giles got together the equipment necessary to break into City Hall, and then Buffy ventured over to the mansion to ask Angel for his help.

He had been surly with her, but he agreed to help.  She asked that he meet them at City Hall at eight o’clock, and then she got the heck out of there before he could try to talk to her about their relationship.  She wasn’t close to ready to deal with that yet. 

But the possibility of running into Faith was driving her insane.  She didn’t know what she would say to the other girl, especially if other people were around, and she didn’t even want to think about what might happen if Angel ran into her alone.  She couldn’t begin to process the idea that one of them might once again try to kill the other, and at this point, she wouldn’t put it past either of them to try.  She’d just have to stick with Angel the entire time.

And if she came face to face with Faith … well, whatever happened, happened.  Buffy tried not to think about the possibility of another kiss, or what it said about her that the thought would even occur to her.

They all met back at the library that night, and Buffy, Willow, and (unfortunately) Wesley, loaded up into Oz’s van, with all the necessary equipment for the break in.  Giles and Xander stayed behind to prepare the ritual to destroy the box.  Angel met them at City Hall, as requested, and she, Angel, and Willow all made it up to the roof without being spotted.  What was more, there was no sign of Faith hanging around.  Angel opened the skylight, and they could see the Box of Gavrok sitting on the conference table below.

Buffy held out Willow’s book so that she could read the spell— _in Latin?_ Buffy thought--while the witch poured some sort of sandy concoction down directly onto the box.  However, a blue force field appeared around the box, catching the falling downpour of sand.  As Willow finished the spell, both the sand and mystical energy barrier beneath it vanished.  “Oh, yeah,” Willow crowed.  “I’m bad.”

Buffy smiled warmly at her.  “Four stars, Will.  Now get going.  Angel—” She stopped herself.  She had been about to ask him to escort Willow back to the van, but she remembered that she couldn’t risk him being out and about on his own.  Plus, she needed to trust Willow to take care of herself.  So, she did her best to recover, meekly adding, “You’re up.  Let’s get me down into the room.” 

His brow furrowed, but he nodded.  Willow said goodbye, then headed back down the ladder.  Buffy watched her go, then turned back to her taciturn boyfriend.  “Help me into this?”  They worked in silence as Angel strapped her into the harness before setting up the fancy system of ropes and pulleys that would allow her to pull off this _Mission Impossible_ stunt.  Buffy was practically buzzing with energy at the thought of trying it.  She was every bit as cool as Tom Cruise, after all.

Angel lowered her down carefully, directly over the box, and the stunt was everything she had hoped.  She just wished she had had time to change into an all-black spy outfit.  _Oh well, maybe next time._   As she neared the box, she leaned forward to bring her body horizontal, parallel to the floor.  Grabbing it and lifting, she shouted up to Angel, “Got it!”

Sirens erupted all around her.  _Great, the magic forcefield wasn’t enough?  They had to add in an alarm system?  This is what I get for wishing I was in Mission Impossible_.  She could feel Angel tugging on the ropes, but she didn’t move an inch.  Her chest began to tighten.  “Angel!”

“It’s jammed,” he grunted.

Her eyes widened, and now she could hear footsteps approaching.  “I’d like very much to come up now, please!”  Then two vampires burst into the room, already growling at her.  “Hey guys,” she greeted.  “Don’t suppose you want to help me get down.”  They charged, and she muttered, “Didn't think so,” before flipping herself to bring a kick under one of their chins.  Angel dropped down to the table beside her and took out the second.  Angel grabbed the box, using its heft to fight off both the vampires while Buffy extricated herself from the harness.  They continued fighting, but at the first opportunity, she grabbed the box and ran.  “Angel!  Let’s go!”  He sent one of the vampires flying across the room, crashing down and through the fancy conference table, and then he was right on her heels.

They fought off a couple more vampires on their way out, and with every corner she turned, Buffy held her breath, hoping beyond hope that Faith wasn’t waiting there for her.  But they made it out of the building without running into her, and they jumped sideways into some bushes.  From there, they watched as several vampires ran by, and failing to see them, they chased after Oz’s van, which was now peeling out of the parking lot as their friends made their escape.  “Come on,” she whispered, and the two of them snuck off into the night, carefully not to give away their position.

It wasn’t until they met everyone back at the library that Buffy realized not all of them had made it out.

~~~~

Faith was back at City Hall for the second night in a row.  Her vampire limo driver had gone missing, leaving the limo idling a block away from City Hall, and now the Mayor was sure that Buffy and the Scoobies were onto them.  As such, he needed his new general leading the troops as they defended the castle.  Faith hated it.

 _What if I run into her?  What is she going to think of me, leading a guard of vampires?  If I have to choose between Buffy and the Mayor …_   Faith already knew how she would choose.  She guessed if she had to, she’d help Buffy take out the vampires and explain what she was trying to do by working her way into the Mayor’s inner circle.  But things would be so much easier if she wasn’t forced to reveal herself just yet.  It was still early, and she had no idea what the Mayor’s plans were for graduation day.

Plenty of vampires were posted up inside the building, including two outside the conference room where the box was being kept.  Faith was backed up by three vamps as she patrolled the exterior, and shortly after eight o’clock, she thought she heard the sound of a vehicle pulling up.  “Come on, let’s check it out.”  She led them around the west side of the building, and there, idling on the far end of the parking lot, was a dark van.  _Fuckin’ Scoobies._   There was no one else around, and Faith’s hackles were raised now.

“One of you go check out the van,” she commanded.  As the vampire neared the van, it took off, heading back into the street.  The rest of them continued their patrol.  “They’re here.  Keep your eyes open.  No one do anything rash without my say so.”  The group of four stalked around the east side of the building now, and that’s when Faith spotted a familiar shock of bright red hair.

 _Goddammit, Red._   Willow was alone, walking straight towards them.  Vampires on either side of her growled angrily, and that’s when Willow noticed them.  Her eyes went wide as she recognized Faith, and she immediately turned to run.  “Hold it!” Faith ordered.  “You really don’t wanna make me chase you, Red.”  She turned back to Faith, and now she was pissed.  _Good.  I deserve that._   “All three of you, get inside.  They’re goin’ after the box.  I’ll take care of her.”  They knew better than to question her.

Alone together, Faith pulled her knife.  Even as she did so, she held out her other hand to try and calm Willow.  “Look, Red.  I can’t let ya go.  They’ve seen you already.  But I don’t wanna hurt you if I don’t have to.”  They both jumped a little as the alarms began to sound inside.

Willow eyed her knife.  “You know, Faith, I’d feel a lot less threatened if you weren’t pointing a knife at me.”

“Can’t be helped, Red.  Gotta play my part in all this.”  Faith continued advancing until she reached Willow, then wrapped her free arm around her neck cautiously.  “Whether you believe me or not, I swear to you, I’d let you go if it was just us.  But I can’t risk blowing things with the Mayor right now.  He’s gonna find out you were here, and it’s better for everyone if we convince him I caught you.  Even better if we convince him you hate me.”

Willow struggled against her arm, even as Faith began leading her around towards the back door.  “Not sure that’s gonna be much of a problem anymore, Faith.”  Even though Willow was completely justified, the venom in her voice still hurt. 

“Look, fine.  I got no right askin’ you to trust me at this point.  But I promise, I don’t **_want_** to hurt you.  Please, just play along until I can figure something out.”  Willow stopped fighting her, but her body remained tense in Faith’s arms.  Faith led her inside, praying that they didn’t run into Buffy.  Willow she could handle.  She could keep her cool, play her part, and maybe find a way to keep the witch safe.  Buffy… Faith couldn’t guarantee she wouldn’t lose her shit if she had to look into those angry emerald eyes again so soon.

As they approached the conference room, she could already hear the Mayor in there, and he didn’t sound happy.  “Red— ** _Willow_** —seriously, please follow my lead.” 

They kept walking, and Wilkins’ shouted from inside the room, “Goddammit!”  It sounded like a chair slammed against a wall and shattered.  “They’ve got my box!”

“Showtime,” Faith whispered in Willow’s ear, then pulled her into the conference room, face shifting immediately from playful to hostile as her knife found its way to Willow’s throat.  “Yeah they do,” she called out to the Mayor, “but looky what we got.”  The pure and unabashed rage on the Mayor’s face—a new sight, as far as Faith was concerned—melted away as he turned to his favorite Slayer.  A wide smile broke out across his face, and for the first time, Faith could see the evil in his features, without any pretense or façade to hide it.  _Shit.  What am I doin’ here?”_

~~~~

They placed Willow in a small side room with only one entrance, leaving a vampire guard to keep her secure.  Then the Mayor stormed off, no doubt to figure out how to leverage Willow in getting the box back.  She was surprised to see that he headed in the opposite direction from his office.  Even so, he left her in charge of Willow, with strict orders not to engage with her.

So, the first thing Faith decided to do was go engage with Willow.  And just in time, she found out.  As she approached, she could see that the door was wide open, and the guard was nowhere to be found.  She crept silently towards the room, and then she heard Willow.  She sounded afraid.  “And suddenly I'm thinking sucking isn't a good word to use around vampires. Hey!  Did you get permission to eat the hostage?  I don't think so.  You're going to be in some trouble when the Mayor ... Ow!”

As Faith turned into the room, she could see the vampire grab Willow by her shoulders and press her against the wall.  Neither of them registered her presence, even as she pulled the stake from inside her jacket.  “Just a little taste,” he assured Willow, and those were the last words he spoke before he turned to dust. 

“Don’t talk; just listen,” Faith ordered, whispering.  She turned away from Willow, checking the door for anyone else in the hallway.  The coast was clear for now.  “Anyone asks, you used your witchy powers to dust the vamp.”  Faith glanced around the room, then pointed at a nearby pencil.  “Got it?”

Willow nodded, but she was keeping her distance.  Faith stifled a grin, proud of the girl for keeping her wits about her.  She had no reason to trust Faith, even now, and it was good that she was wary.  Faith continued with her instructions.  “I still can’t let you go, but I’m willin’ to bet Wilkins is already lookin’ to make some sort of trade.  You and I both know B’ll do that, trade the box for you, in a heartbeat.  So we just gotta bide our time.  I promise you—I’ll do what I can to make sure you survive this, so long as I don’t have to compromise my position here.”  She glanced back into the hallway.  “Now… I’m gonna take a walk.  Mayor’s office is open.  See if you can find anything useful in there.  I’ll give you as much time as I can.”  She turned back, catching Willow’s eyes and making sure she was listening to this last command.  It was important.  “Close the door behind you.  I can’t promise there won’t be others roaming the halls, but if the door is closed, they won’t dare enter the office.  I’ll keep an eye out for the Mayor.” 

With that, Faith spun around and headed back into the hallway, pocketing her stake and stalking down the hall in the direction the Mayor had headed.  She stopped just around the corner, listening to confirm that Willow took her advice.  Sure enough, the witch headed straight for the office.  Faith meant what she said.  It was too risky to let Willow go, but any advantage she could get the Scoobies would hopefully make this worthwhile.  She knew for a fact that the Books of Ascension were in Wilkins’ office.  She trusted Willow to use her time in there wisely.

Twenty or thirty minutes passed before she heard movement coming from the direction she had watched the Mayor disappear.  She strained with all her Slayer senses to listen, and _yeah, that’s definitely Wilkins_.  Faith rushed back towards the office, where she found Willow on the floor, Books of Ascension open around her.  “Sure hope you got something good outta there, Red.  We’re outta time.  I’m gonna have to put on a show here.  Do your best to play along.”

Willow stood to face her.  “Faith, wait.  I want to talk to you.”  Faith was getting antsy now; she could hear the Mayor coming, and she couldn’t risk having an honest conversation at this point.  So she dialed her bad girl bravado up to eleven.

“Oh yeah?  Give me the speech again, please.  Faith, we're still your friends.  We can help you.  It's not too late.”

Willow’s eyes narrowed, but there was nothing but pity there.  It stabbed at Faith more than any amount of anger would have.  “It's way too late,” she answered sadly.  “You know, it didn't have to be this way.  But you made your choice.”  Faith fought back the sudden heat behind her eyes, doing her best to focus on anger rather than regret.  She psyched herself up, bristling with all the pent-up frustration she still carried inside her.  But Willow was unfazed.  “I know you had a tough life.  Never once would you bother to open up about it, but I have no doubt you had a lot of bad breaks.”  She shook her head, and now there was a little bit of anger, a little bit of fire, in those bright hazel eyes.  “Well, boo hoo!   ** _Poor_** you.  You know, you had a lot more in your life than some people.  You have no idea how much Buffy cares about you!   But now… now you have no one.  You were a Slayer and now you're **_nothing_**.  You're just a big selfish, worthless waste—”

Without thinking, Faith backhanded Willow across the jaw, and the redhead fell to the ground.  She immediately regretted it—she hadn’t meant to react like that.  But Willow’s words were like someone stabbing her repeatedly in the gut.  Like her nightmare version of Buffy, twisting this wicked knife in her gut over and over.  It was more than she could take.  And the Mayor was nearly upon them.

“You hurt me, I hurt you,” Faith hissed.  “I'm just a little more efficient.”  At this point, she couldn’t separate the act from the real emotions, and it didn’t look like Willow could either.  The witch stood slowly, wiping a bit of blood from her upper lip and furrowing her brow in Faith’s direction.

“Aw, and here I just thought you didn't have a comeback.” 

Faith was sure that the Mayor could hear them now, so she committed to her side of the fight.  She pressed her hands to Willow’s chest with just a hint of pressure, tracing menacingly down the edges of her jacket.  “You're beggin’ for some deep pain.”

“I’m not afraid of you,” Willow scowled, but she could see the fear behind her eyes now.  And without taking her eyes off Willow, Faith could sense that the Mayor was watching them from just outside the open door.  She pulled her knife, working hard to seem as if she was bristling with barely contained fury.

“Let’s see what we can do about that,” she taunted, sliding the smooth side of the blade against Willow’s cheek.  She could see Willow shrink from her, and Faith fought against the wave of revulsion and self-loathing that rose up from her gut into her throat.  Fortunately, this was when the Mayor chose to interrupt them. 

“Girls, I hope I don't have to separate you two.”  He stepped into the room, scolding, “Faith, you can play with your new toy later.  Something's come up.”  Faith didn’t move away from Willow but focused that much harder on the girl’s eyes.  She was trying desperately to convey to the witch in the only way she had left that she wasn’t this monster she was playing for the Mayor.  She wished in that moment that Willow’s magic included the ability to read minds.  “Faith!  You know I don't like repeating myself.”

 She pulled back, sheathing her knife again.  “I got someone,” she assured Willow, hoping the other girl could see through her pretense.  Faith nodded towards Wilkins as he walked between them and sat down behind his desk.  “I got him.”

Wilkins beamed at her, just as she had hoped he would.  _He thinks I’m buyin’ in, but we’re playin’ my game now._ Faith just wished she knew how much longer she would have to keep playing.  The Mayor’s eyes shifted from Faith to Willow, but his smile never wavered.  “Well now, I just received a **_heck_** of an interesting phone call.  Looks like your friends are gonna give me my box back.  Play your cards right, and you just might survive long enough to see them again, Ms. Rosenberg.”

~~~~

The Mayor was on his way now, and there was no way Faith wasn’t with him this time.  Buffy couldn’t help the infinite number of knots that her gut had tied itself into at this point.  A month ago, she and Faith had practically been able to finish each other’s sentences, they were so close.  She was bonding with Willow then, too.  No, things hadn’t been perfect, but Faith was well on her way to becoming a permanent fixture in the Scooby Gang, despite all her walls.

And now, the dark Slayer was about to show up to a terse handoff at Sunnydale High School, at the beck and call of this year’s Big Bad and with Willow held hostage as leverage.  Everyone was here with here: Angel, Xander, Oz, and Giles.  Wesley left, in protest of their decision to trade the box for Willow.  Whatever happened next, whatever Faith said … everyone would know.  If the shit really hit the fan, there would be no more hiding.

The lights went out all around them, and Angel stepped in closer to Buffy.  No matter their issues, he was every bit as protective as always.  The Box of Gavrok was on the table behind them.  All eyes were on the far doors to the cafeteria, the only ones they hadn’t locked down.  Another minute of tense silence passed, and then the doors were opened by two vampires.  Mayor Wilkins entered first, and he was followed closely by Faith and Willow, the dark Slayer with a wicked-looking knife at the witch’s throat.

The Mayor surveyed the room, then paced forward, and Buffy took a couple steps to meet him.  She couldn’t help that her eyes kept darting back to where Faith was holding Willow.   The redhead seemed fine, and surprisingly, she didn’t seem afraid at all.  With no one’s eyes but Buffy’s on them, it almost seemed like Faith was relaxed, not even bothering to hold Willow all that tightly.  The brunette’s eyes refused to meet Buffy’s, and her attention seemed more focused on the two vampires flanking the Mayor than on any of the Scoobies.  _What is she playing at?_  

The Mayor spoke, and Buffy’s attention shifted back to him.  “Well, this is exciting, isn't it?” he chuckled.  “Clandestine meetings by dark of night.  Exchange of prisoners.  I just, I, I feel like we should all be wearing trench coats.”  His eyes fell on Angel and his black leather duster.

Buffy wasn’t here to play games, though, and at this point, her attention wasn’t really on the melodramatic politician in front of her anyway.  “Let her go,” she ordered, staring Faith down.  The situation was tense, and they had an audience, and that was the only reason Buffy didn’t break down and make a heartfelt plea to Faith to end all of this.  To try to work things out.

But it was Wilkins who answered her demand, not Faith.  “No. Not until the box is in my hands.”  She met his gaze again, and he looked her up and down.  “So, **_you're_** the little girl that's been causing me all this trouble”  His beady eyes flickered behind her.  “She's pretty, Angel.  A little skinny.”  Then his attention was firmly back on Buffy, and his features were harsh and judgmental now.  “Still don't understand why it couldn't work out with you and my Faith, Ms. Summers.  Guess you kind of just have strange taste in partners.  What, soft breath and a nice heartbeat don’t do it for ya?  You really think dating a vampire is a wise choice?”

Through sheer force of will, Buffy managed to blush only the tiniest bit.  She had no idea that the Mayor knew what was going on between herself and Faith.  _Did she tell him?  Why would she do that?_ For a split second, Faith and Buffy caught each other’s gaze, and Faith immediately shrunk back, eyes darting away nearly in panic.  Instead, the dark Slayer glared daggers at the back of the Mayor’s head as he moved past Buffy to continue talking to Angel instead.  _Seriously, what the hell is going on here?_

“Well, I wish you kids the best, I really do.  But if you don't mind a bit of fatherly advice, I, uh, I-I just don't see much of a future for you two.  I don't sense a lasting relationship.  And not just because I plan to kill you.”  Faith tensed again, and Buffy thought she looked as though she might release Willow and charge her boss in that moment.  Or maybe that was just wishful thinking on Buffy’s part.  Behind her, the Mayor continued to scold them.  “You two have a bumpy road ahead.”

Buffy turned her head away from the confusing signals she was getting from Faith, growling, “I don't think we need to talk about this.”  She really didn’t care to listen to her enemy giving her relationship advice, especially when he wasn’t telling her anything she didn’t already know.

Wilkins looked back at her, a mischievous gleam in his eye as he savored her reaction.  “God, you kids, you know.  You don't like to think about the future.  You don't like to make plans.”  He glared at Buffy harshly.  “But unless you want Faith to gut your friend like a sea bass, show a little respect for your elders.” 

Angel pointed out that Wilkins wasn’t his elder, and with the distraction, Buffy glanced back at Faith.  She pulled her knife down and away from Willow, as if to emphasize that she had no intention of hurting her.  Buffy felt her heart leap into her throat, and then the Mayor was rambling out his words of wisdom again.

“Yeah, and that's just **_one_** of the things you're going to have to deal with.  You're immortal, she's not.  You know, I married my Edna May in ought-three, and I was with her right until the end.   ** _Not_** a pretty picture.  Wrinkled and senile and cursing me for my youth.  Wasn't our happiest time.”  Despite the source of the words, Buffy couldn’t help but feel the truth of them in her bones.  The Mayor had her attention now, and she couldn’t bring herself to look at Angel.  “And let's not forget the fact that any moment of true happiness will turn you **_evil_** ,” he reminded them, a derisive stare focused on Angel.  “I mean, come **_on_**.  What kind of a life can you offer her?  I don't see a lot of Sunday picnics in the offing.  I **_do_** see skulking in the shadows, hiding from the sun.  She's a blossoming young girl, and you want to keep her from the life she should have until it has passed her by.  My **_God_**!  I think that's a little selfish.  Is that what you came back from hell for?  Is that your greater purpose?”

Even though he wasn’t saying anything that she hadn’t thought to herself many times, the Mayor’s words were still haunting.  Each one of them weighed on her, and some part of her wondered whether things would be different if she had listened to that voice in the back of her head a lot sooner.  Maybe Faith wouldn’t have turned on her, and maybe Willow would’ve gotten away from City Hall just fine.  Maybe, maybe, maybe … the what ifs were infuriating.  And beside the point.  _I made my choice, and Faith made hers._ Still, she couldn’t help but wonder—if Buffy regretted her own choices this much, maybe Faith did too.

Breaking her from the reverie, the Mayor ordered coldly, “Make the trade.”  She watched as Faith moved forward with Willow, and she could sense Angel moving forward with the box behind her. Willow came to stand beside Buffy, giving her a confident nod, then she hurried over to Oz, who wrapped her up in a tight hug.  Meanwhile, Faith sheathed her knife and took the box from Angel.  Wilkins paced around the vampire to rejoin his protégé.  “Well, that went smooth—"

“Nobody move!” interjected a practically gleeful Principal Snyder, who burst into the room flanked by two policemen.  Wilkins stealthily slinked back into the shadows, as one of the policemen locked the door.  “I knew you kids were up to something,” Snyder sniveled.  Buffy tried to warn him to leave, but he immediately cut her off.  “You're not giving orders, young lady. I suppose you're going to tell me I won't find drugs in this box.”

Buffy couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  The paranoid fool honestly believed that he was busting up some sort of drug deal.  _Guess he hasn’t noticed the two vampires, a librarian, and oh yeah, the freakin’ Mayor of Sunnydale in the room with us._   Snyder walked straight up to Faith and took the box from her, nearly slipping from the unexpected weight of it.  As he turned away to hand the box off to one of the officers, Faith pulled her knife again.

“Wait!” Buffy shouted, and Faith’s eyes met hers again.  There was no anger there, no threat of violence, and in that single moment, Buffy could feel Faith’s intention as clearly as her own.  She was putting on a show for the Mayor, and Buffy suddenly felt sure that Faith wasn’t going to hurt anyone.  Not unless she absolutely had to.

“Principal Snyder,” the Mayor called out, pacing calmly forward and announcing his presence to the recent interlopers.  Snyder spun back around, but his eyes focused on Faith’s knife before coming to settle on the politician.  “I think we have a problem. 

“Mr. Mayor,” Snyder stammered.  “I had no idea you—” he swallowed audibly, “—I’m terribly sorry.”  Faith’s eyes stayed on Wilkins, as if she was just waiting for his command to drag her blade violently across Snyder’s neck.  Instead, the Mayor was conciliatory.

“No, it's I who should apologize.  Coming down here at night.  What must you be thinking?  But you see, I just needed to—”  Behind Snyder, the police officer flipped open the clasps on the front of the Box of Gavrok.  “Uh, no!” Wilkins shouted, panicking.  “Don’t do that!”  But it was too late.  The lid of the box flew open, and that was when the shit hit the fan.

An oily black spider the size of a housecat leapt out and engulfed the officer’s face, like something out of a horror movie.  Its high-pitched screaming filled the room, impossibly loud for something of that size.   While everyone else focused on the screaming officer falling to the ground, clutching his face, the Mayor acted decisively to close the lid, just barely stopping another spider creature from escaping.  He only just managed to leap out of the way as the first creature crushed the officer’s skull, splattering the nearby area in brains and gore.  Then it scurried, screeching, into the shadows.

Buffy tried to track its movement, but it was too fast and blended in too well with the shadows.  Not even its screeching was a giveaway, since it seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere all at once.  The sound felt as though it was piercing her brain, and now she was having trouble focusing on the room around her at all.  Her eyes darted around the room, and she could sense everyone panicking around her, but she couldn’t find the creature.

Then she heard Faith’s voice, terrified and piercing, shout her name.  Something flew by her head with a whistling sound, and finally, the shrieking stopped.  Buffy turned, and looked at the wall behind her, and there was the spider creature, dead and pinned to the wall by Faith’s knife.  Eyes widening, she spun, looking for the girl who had just saved her life.  But Faith was already stalking past her to retrieve the knife.  Buffy grabbed her by the wrist, such a familiar motion, but Faith recoiled from her touch as if she had been burned.  Dark brown eyes locked onto suddenly hopeful emerald ones, but there was no hope in Faith’s expression.  Faith looked as if being this close to Buffy physically hurt her, and the shame and regret she felt practically radiated off of her.

“Faith,” Buffy whispered, pleading silently for the other girl to stay, but the dark Slayer tore her eyes away and hurried back to the Mayor.  Wilkins was holding the Box of Gavrok, and he had been watching Buffy and Faith’s interaction suspiciously.  He glared at Buffy, and she felt an icy chill run up her spine.  Then he turned and nodded to the surviving officer, who unlocked the door.

“How many are in there?” Xander asked fearfully, as if that could possibly matter.  Faith waited patiently beside the Mayor, who turned to grin mischievously at Xander. 

“Oh, do you really want to know,” he responded nonchalantly. “You see, there's about fifty... **_billion_** of these happy little critters in here.  Would you like to see?”  The room went cold as the horror contained in that box washed over those gathered there.  “No?  Raise your hand if you’re invulnerable,” he tittered, eyes flitting back and forth between the Scoobies.  “No?  Just me?  Ah well.”  He turned back to the door.  “Faith, let’s go.”

As if she couldn’t resist—and based on the strength of the gravity Buffy could still feel between them, maybe she couldn’t—Faith looked at Buffy one last time.  She mouthed, ‘I’m so sorry,’ and it might’ve been the most emotionally vulnerable moment that Buffy had ever gotten out of the girl. 

“Faith,” the Mayor growled impatiently from outside the cafeteria, and Faith stiffened in surprise.  Once again, for the briefest moment, both Slayers had felt as though they were the only two people in the world; a moment shared between the two of them and no one else.  But then she was gone again, and Buffy didn’t feel any more reassured than the last time.

~~~~

They got Willow back to the library, and everyone started to clear out.  Angel left first, still very clearly shaken by what the Mayor had said, and their kiss goodbye had been the most awkward, tense kiss they’d ever shared.  Then Oz gave Xander a ride home, promising he’d swing by Willow’s after that.  Which left Buffy, Willow, and Giles to go over what Willow had been through that night.

After Oz left, Willow pushed herself up onto the checkout counter, sitting cross-legged, and Buffy leaped up to sit right across from her.  Giles stood on the far wall, allowing Buffy the space to lead the discussion.  “So, how did they get you?”

“Bad luck, I guess.”  Willow made a face.  “Right as I was walking away from the ladder to the roof, bam!  I ran smack into Faith and some vampires.”

“She was working **_with_** the vampires?” Buffy asked.  That didn’t sound like Faith at all.  Faith **_hated_** vampires, even the good ones.

“Yeah, I thought it was weird too.  But she’s like … the Mayor’s right hand guy, er … right hand **_lady_** now.  Which means leading the Mayor’s vampire flunkies, apparently.  Anyway.”  Willow went out of her way to catch Buffy’s eyes, as if to draw attention to the big important point she was about to make.  “She immediately ordered the vampires away, and yeah, sure, she captured me, but she tried her best to be nice about it, I think?”

Buffy’s brow furrowed as she pressed her lips together.  Faith’s actions continued to be a mystery.  “Will, what’s going on with her?”

Willow shook her head.  “I don’t know for sure.  But she’s definitely not evil.  I’m not sure why she’s workin’ with the Mayor, but I get the sense she’s trying to play both sides.  Maybe even trying to bring him down from the inside.  She staked a vampire who tried to get a taste of my sweet sweet blood, then she gave me unsupervised access to the Mayor’s office for as long as she could.”  Her face darkened.  “She was only mean to me when she had to put on a show for the Mayor … but it’s kinda scary how good at it she was.”  Up until that last point, Willow’s voice had been animated, but she struggled a little with how to explain Faith’s less savory behavior.

Giles interjected, and as he approached, it was clear that he wasn’t as interested in their speculation over Faith’s motivations.  Glasses in hand, he sounded as tired as Willow did enthused.  “This is fascinating, but let’s please get back to the point.  You actually **_had_** your hands on the Books of Ascension?

“Volumes One through Five,” Willow confirmed, her voice heavy with faux solemnity.

“Is there **_anything_** you can remember that could be of use to us?  Anything at all?”  Giles was hanging on her every word now, and Buffy could understand why.  They knew exactly nothing about the Ascension, and graduation was less than a month away.

“W-well,” Willow made a face of seemingly serious concentration.  “I was in a hurry, and what I **_did_** read was kinda over-involved.  If you ask me, way over-written.”  As Giles’ face fell, Willow grinned mischievously at Buffy.  “Actually, there were a few pages that looked kind of interesting, but I didn't have a chance to read them fully.”  After the briefest pause, for dramatic effect, she reached into her bag and pulled out a handful of folded pages.  “See what you can make of ‘em?”  Giles’ frown immediately reversed itself, and his eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store.

“Damn, Will.  This is your night for suave.  You should get captured more often.”  Buffy smiled at the witch, who made a very intentional goofy face at her.

“Nooooo thank you.”  They shared a soft smile, then Buffy took a heavy breath.

“Alright, Giles!” she called out.  “We’ll leave you to your pages.  I’m gonna walk Willow home.”  He murmured a distracted goodbye from inside his office, and Buffy rolled her eyes.  She helped Willow down, then grabbed her coat.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, then Willow elbowed her softly.  “Deep thoughts?”

“Deep and meaningful,” Buffy confirmed.

“As in?”

“I’m worried about Faith.”  She glanced over at Willow, who didn’t offer up any of the judgment Buffy had expected from her.  “I know she’s screwed up, and honestly, I don’t know if I’ll be able to forgive her for everything.  But I think she feels trapped, like she doesn’t have any other option.  And I’m worried she’s going to get herself killed trying to fight the Mayor from the inside.”  She sighed.  “Or at least … that’s what I’m trying to convince myself so that I don’t have to believe she’s just … **_bad._** ”

They walked in silence a bit longer, both of them processing the new information about Faith they had gleaned that night.  “You know how you were sayin’ that you used to think you and Faith would just hang around Sunnydale after graduation, no college or big future plans, just slaying?”

Buffy’s eyes narrowed, and she looked at Willow in puzzlement.   The redhead simply batted her eyelashes and waited patiently for the answer to what was obviously a rhetorical question.  “Fine!  Yes, I remember saying that.  Please tell me you‘re going somewhere with this.”

Willow tried and failed to keep a smile off her face, then turned her gaze back on the sidewalk in front of them.  “Nope.”  She popped the ‘p’ bouncily.  “I’m not going anywhere.”  She pulled them to a stop and faced Buffy.  “Just wanted you to know that … whatever happens with Faith, I just want you to know that at the very least, you’ll have some decent witchy mojo backing you up next year.  And for the next three to five years after that.”

Buffy looked at her like she was crazy.  “Will—”

“Geez, Buff.  Way to pick up on the signals here.  Tryin’ to tell you that I will be matriculating with the UC Sunnydale Class of 2003.”

“Are you serious?”  Buffy was dumbfounded.  This couldn’t be real.

“Say,” Willow chirped, “isn’t that where **_you’re_** going?”  Buffy could feel her eyes tearing up as Willow flashed that dopey grin of hers, and for the first time in weeks, they were happy tears.  She tackled Willow with a bear hug, and the force of it dragged them to the ground in the nearby grass, each of them laughing wildly.

“I can’t believe it!  Are you serious?  Willow!”  Buffy considered her friend, and then she remembered that Willow had so many better options waiting for her out there.  Willow’s show of support meant the world to Buffy, but she deserved better than Sunnydale.  “What am I saying?  You can’t!”

Willow raised an eyebrow in challenge.  “What do you mean, I **_can’t_**?”

Buffy tilted her head, pursing her lips before answering, “I mean, I won’t **_let_** you.”

Willow chuckled dismissively.  “Of the two people here, which is the boss of me?”

“There are better schools,” Buffy argued.  “I can’t let you stay because of me.”

“Sunnydale’s not bad.  B-but that’s not the point.  This isn’t about you.”  She smiled, slyly adding, “Although, I’m fond, don’t get me wrong … of you, I mean.  But tonight really put things in perspective for me.  I mean, you've been fighting evil here for three years, and I've helped some, and now we're supposed to decide what we want to do with our lives.  And I just realized that **_that's_** what I want to do.  Fight evil, help people.  I mean, I-I think it's worth doing.  And I don't think **_you_** do it because you have to.  It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in.

“I kind of love you,” Buffy gushed, and honestly, there was no kinda about it

“And you know what else?” Willow suggested, taking Buffy’s hand in her own.  “Deep down, I’m pretty sure Faith wants in, too.  I’m not lookin’ to defend her or tell you that you should date her or heck, even forgive her.  What she did was messed up.  But she helped me tonight.  Promised me that she’d do whatever she had to do to protect me.  You’re right that she’s not beyond saving, and I don’t think you should give up just yet on the idea that you two have a future fighting this fight side-by-side.”

She squeezed Buffy’s hand, and she couldn’t hold back warm tears any longer.  Willow hugged her tightly, rubbing her back softly.  “Thank you,” she whispered in Willow’s ear.

“Always,” she responded, and Buffy felt all warm and fuzzy inside.

“So!  I’m feelin’ the need for more ice cream than the human body can handle.  You in?”

Willow winced.  “Sorry, Buff.  I promised Oz I’d meet him at home, remember?”

“Oh yeah!”  Buffy felt embarrassed, thinking of her own boyfriend.  _Gonna have to do something about that soon._   “Sorry, I spaced.”

“Raincheck, though?”

“Definitely.  Now, let’s get you home to that nice boy of yours.”


	17. You Belong With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Prom

Faith is running through the night, and she feels as though her life depends on her ability to run just a little faster.  The darkness is all around her, and she feels terrified by it.  Lost.  She glances back, and her pursuer is still there.  A sharp pang of fear shoots through her, and she quickens her pace, running at a dead sprint now.

Behind her, Buffy continues stalking forward, unfazed by Faith’s burst of speed.  Any love, any caring that the blonde ever held for her is gone, replaced by hatred and disgust.  She stalks her prey without regard for her fear, that wicked knife shining in her right hand.

One gravestone flies past her, then another.  Faith is in a cemetery.  But no matter how fast she runs, she cannot escape Buffy.  The Slayer’s pursuit of her is solid, unyielding.  She will catch her; it is only a matter of when.  Faith’s hand comes to her gut as she pushes herself even harder.

Then she trips.  Faith falls face forward into an open grave.  She is hyperventilating, and the terror claws at her chest.  It won’t be long now.  She waits, and then Buffy is there, towering above her.  The Slayer glares down at her, emerald eyes burning with a fury that cuts through her.  And then Buffy leaps into the grave, knife first. 

Everything fades to black, and Faith feels the searing pain in her gut again.  She feels as though she is being ripped apart at the seams, and then she hears it.  The thunder roars around her, and Faith can feel the rain washing down on her face.  In a flash, she can see the blood oozing out of her gut, mixing with the dirty water raining down on her.

As Faith woke up, she could feel nothing on her skin but sweat.  No blood.  No rain.  She was still hyperventilating, though.  Her eyes darted wildly around the room, but her breathing began to slow as she realized where she was.  Her apartment.  The sun wasn’t all that bright yet, so it must’ve still been fairly early.  Faith closed her eyes, working to steady her breathing. 

This one was so much worse than the first one.  Faith sat there for ten minutes or more, just trying to find herself back in reality.  The dream had been so real.  So present.  The look in Buffy’s eyes continued to haunt her.

_What the hell is going on with these dreams?_

~~~~

“I can’t do this anymore.”  Buffy’s eyes stay locked on his, even though she knows that means he’ll be able to see the tears forming there.  As far as greetings go, it’s a pretty crappy one, but she can’t hold it in anymore.  Except that once she got that opening salvo out, Buffy suddenly felt herself at a loss for words.

She’d just walked right into the mansion, found Angel sitting on his couch with a book, and dumped those six ominous words on him, and now she was standing here like a mute idiot with tears in her eyes and no clue what to do next.  Angel’s mouth was set in a hard line, and he hardly looked surprised.  _I guess we both knew this was coming._

“Us, you mean?”  Buffy couldn’t even bring herself to nod, and she was blinking fiercely now, holding back the tears as best she could.  “Is this because of what the Mayor said?”  He looked down, then shook his head slightly.  “Or is this about Faith?”

It was both, but again, Buffy found herself unable to speak.  She felt so guilty.  She should never have asked him to get back together.  Some part of her knew all along that it was wrong, that it could only end with both of them getting hurt, but she had wanted so desperately for something familiar to hold onto.  His forehead creased a little as the tension built, her silence starting to get to him.  “L-look, I know the Mayor was just trying to shake us up, but we both know he was right.”

“Right about us not having a future, or right about you being with Faith?”  Buffy glared at him, her frustration bubbling over. 

“Stop making this about Faith!”  Her fists tightened, but she tried to keep her emotions in check.  As much as possible, anyway.  “You and I had problems **_long_** before she and I…”  _She and I what?  Nothing has ever really happened between us, other than the one kiss.  Everything has been innuendo and tension and unspoken feelings._

“But you admit there’s something there?”  He refused to let this go, and she wondered if he honestly believed that they could’ve built any kind of future together, if only Faith hadn’t shown up.

“Angel.  You’re old enough to be my ancestor.  We … I’m sorry.  This is my fault.  I sh-shouldn’t have…”  _Shouldn’t have what?  Loved him?  Allowed myself to enjoy what fleeting time we had together?_   “Angel, please.  I love you.  It kills me to say this, but you know I’m right.”

He pushed himself aggressively off the couch and paced away from her.  “Of course I know,” he murmured.  “I’ve always known.  You deserve more.  You deserve something outside of demons and darkness.  You should be with someone who can take you into the light.”  He paused, gazing into the warm orange light of the fireplace.  “Someone who can make love to you.”

Something about the way he phrased that felt unnerving for Buffy, but she pushed past it.  What she deserved was beside the point.  “This was never about deserve, Angel.  It’s about what I want.  And I … look, I know I’ll never have a normal life, but I want—I **_need_** —happiness.  I can’t live in the darkness anymore.”

“I worry about you, Buffy.”  That wasn’t what she had expected, and she wasn’t sure exactly what he meant.  “I’m not trying to fight you on this.  I knew this was coming, and I know that you’re right.  I want you to have all the happiness in the world.”  He turned to face her, and his warm auburn eyes glistened with concern.  “But be careful with Faith.  She has a darkness in her, Buffy, and I’m not sure it’s one you’ll be able to help her past.”

“She’s not your concern.”  Buffy still didn’t know what intentions she had towards Faith, if any, but she knew that it wasn’t Angel’s place to lecture her about it.

“No, she isn’t.  But you are.”  His shoulders sagged just a little, but he wouldn’t look away from her.  “I will always love you, Buffy.  And I want you to be happy, even without me.  I … I know I’m not exactly objective here, and I’ll probably never like her, but my worry goes beyond that.  She’s going to hurt you, and not just emotionally.  She’s unstable and broken, in a way you might never understand.”  He put a hand on her arm, and she stiffened, but resisted the urge to pull away.  His voice was soft and compassionate—this wasn’t an attack.  It wasn’t jealousy.  “I’m sorry.  Just … be careful.  Please.”

Buffy softened then, and she reached up to run her hand gently along his cheek.  “I wish I could fix your curse.  Wish there was some way for you to have any kind of happiness of your own.  I’m s-sorry … I was selfish.  I just wanted to hold onto you.”

“It’s okay,” he reassured her.  “I knew what I was getting into.”  They shared a long, meaningful look, then he pulled away from her.  “I’m leaving.  After the Ascension,  after things are finished with the Mayor and …”  His voice trailed off.  She knew Faith’s name was on the tip of his tongue, but she appreciated his decision not to say it.  “If we survive, I’ll go.”

“Where?”

“I don’t know.  LA maybe.  But … I just want you to know that I’ll always be here for you.  You need backup, I’ll be there.  Always.”  Buffy nodded, and she knew that they would always have that between them.  No matter what, she would always be there for him if he needed her, and vice versa.  She couldn’t stop the tears now, and she stepped closer to him, one last time.

He pulled her in close, and they kissed.  It was soft and gentle and lingering.  And then it was over.  She could feel her lip quivering slightly, but this was the right thing, for both of them.  “Goodbye,” she whispered, then turned and walked away.  Willow and tons of ice cream awaited her.

~~~~

It was a couple of days later when Buffy finally got around to having a serious sit-down conversation with Giles.  After everything, and with the Ascension coming up, she felt like the time was right to clear the air between them, and maybe, finally, let him out of the doghouse.  A possible apocalypse, assuming that’s what the Mayor actually had in mind, was great for putting things in perspective, and Buffy felt like she was on a tour of sorts.  First the big break up talk with Angel, now a clearing of the air with Giles, then … she still wasn’t sure how to deal with Faith, but she knew she needed to at least try.  And soon. 

But first Giles.  Buffy hung behind as everyone else headed out of the library.  They would strategize about the hellhounds potentially threatening the prom later.  She had little doubt that she’d stop Tucker and his weird vendetta against formal fun, but for now, she needed to see if she and Giles were back on the same page. 

“Can we talk?”  His brows furrowed just slightly, but he nodded.

“Of course, Buffy.  What is on your mind?”  He sat back into one of the library chairs, and she slid on top of the table beside him. 

“It’s been a long year.”

“Yes, I suppose it has.”  Buffy appreciated just how noticeably British that sounded coming out of his mouth, and she smiled just a little. 

“I … ugh, I don’t know how to do subtle, Giles.  I wanna clear the air.  The Ascension is coming up, and we could all be dead in a few weeks, and I just …”  He put a hand on her knee, just for a moment, and they shared a brief glance.

“It’s okay.  I understand.  Please proceed.”

“Angel and I broke up,” she blurted, eyes widening a little at her own complete lack of anything resembling a segue.   “He’s leaving town.  After the Ascension.”

“Oh, er, Buffy, I’m sorry.”  He pulled off his glasses and withdrew a handkerchief from his pocket.  “I don’t really know what to say.  Um, I understand that this sort of thing requires ice cream?”

That made her feel warm and gooey inside.  For all the trouble between them the past few months, Giles did care about her, a lot.  “Thanks, Giles, but Willow already took care of the ice cream requirements.  But I appreciate the thought.”  She shrugged.  “It was a long time coming, and it needed to happen.  I’ll be fine.  And we’ve got bigger problems right now.”

He kept watching her though, as if sensing her underlying desire to just … let it all out for some reason.  So, she did.  “I just … Giles, I felt so alienated and alone when I came back from LA.”  _Oh okay, I’m really gonna go all the way back to the beginning.  Oops._   “I mean, I know you all tried.  You and Willow especially.  But I felt like no one could understand.”  She sighed.  “I loved him.  **_Love_** him.  But I had to kill him anyway.  No one—” she blew out a heavy breath, “—I was alone in that.”

She rose to her feet, suddenly feeling the need to pace a bit.  “Except Faith.  We met in LA, and … it wasn’t like with Kendra.  There was a spark there, and I think maybe even then I could see that bit of darkness in her.  That she had her own trauma just there under the surface.  Maybe that’s why she could understand me when no one else could.”

“But then he was back.  Out of nowhere, and suddenly everything was more complicated than ever.  I was just getting over him, and … I didn’t handle it well.  I kept pushing everyone else away, and I let myself get close to him again, and then Faith ran away, and it was just … **_easier_** to give in.  To let myself be with him, even though I knew I could never be happy.” 

Buffy looked back at Giles, and he was watching her studiously, taking in what she was telling him without showing much emotion on his face.  “Then you and the Council betrayed me, and it was like nothing made sense anymore.”  Giles’ eyes narrowed, and she thought she saw him blinking back tears.  She thought maybe he would carry that pain with him forever, and some petty part of her was okay with that.  “I want to move past it, but you need to know what it was like for me.  I felt like nothing was dependable anymore, that there was nothing I could hold onto.  I felt like I had lost **_everything_** , and that was before Faith went off the deep end, too.”

“Buffy, I—”

“No, it’s okay, Giles.  But I need to …  I need to get it all out, you know?”  He sighed but nodded sympathetically.  “I should’ve tried harder to get through to her, after Finch.  But things with Faith have been … **_complicated_** … and I was too hurt by it all.  You betrayed me, and I barely had time to breathe before she did too.  So, I fell back on Angel.  He was familiar and comfortable, and I know that he’ll never betray me—so long as he’s never actually happy, anyway.  I pushed you away, tried to punish you, and I didn’t give Faith any kind of benefit of the doubt, and I practically pushed her into the arms of the Mayor.”

“Buffy, I do hope I am not overstepping, but I want you to know that you can talk to me about Faith.”  He made a face, and she could tell he was incredibly uncomfortable.  “I know you think I’m incredibly old, but I was young once too.  I had similar … erm, feelings for someone I worked closely with.  And … well, there’s nothing wrong with it.  Nothing wrong with you.  If you have … uh, **_those_** sorts of feelings.  For her.”

Buffy’s eyes widened as she remembered Faith’s joking comments about Giles and Ethan Rayne and how sure she was that they’d been together at some point in their past.  This wasn’t something she had planned to get into with Giles, and she was fairly sure she didn’t want to go there just yet.  But it meant a lot to her that he could recognize her feelings for what they were and validate them like that.  “Thank you.  Really.  But it’s … well, complicated is really the only good word for it now.  What I feel for her … what she feels for me … it really doesn’t matter if we don’t stop the Mayor.  And even if we do, I don’t know what that means for Faith.”

As she looked back at Giles, she didn’t bother to hide her concern.  “I know you’ve got your own issues with Faith, even if I don’t really understa—”

“Yes well, all our cards on the table now,” Giles interjected, standing as he finally put his glasses back on.  “I suppose I should tell you that Faith broke into my home that night.  After the Cruciamentum.  Told me what I already knew, that I’d failed you.  That I didn’t deserve your trust.  She also threatened that if I ever betrayed you again, she would come for me.  Faith can be quite, um, terrifying when she wants to be.”

“Yeah, she can be,” Buffy muttered.  She couldn’t help the crooked smile that broke across her lips.  So, her instincts had been right.  Faith had confronted Giles, threatened his life in fact, and now his hostility towards her made that much more sense.  Buffy felt torn between the feeling of warmth Faith’s protectiveness gave her and the ominous chill of yet one more sign of the girl’s inner darkness.

“There’s still good in her, Giles.”  He met her gaze, and she knew then that he believed her.  That he would follow her lead when it came to Faith, no matter what.  “If we’re going to have any real chance at stopping the Mayor, I think we need her.”

“You may well be right, but I must caution you against letting your feelings interfere with your duty.  After all you’ve been through, you don’t need me to tell you that, but I cannot stay silent either.  You can’t let your compassion for Faith lead you off your path.”

“And I won’t,” she assured him.  “But she’s not nearly as far gone as I thought.  She was so broken and ashamed of herself after everything with Angel’s soul, and then she did everything she could to help Willow—not just to protect her, but to get her access to the Books of Ascension.  I think she would’ve sacrificed herself before she let him hurt Willow.”  Giles looked legitimately surprised by that assessment, but he remained silent.  “I think she just feels trapped.  Like she backed herself into a corner with the mistakes she’s made, and now she feels like this is her only option.”

“I pray for all our sakes that your assessment of her is true, Buffy.” 

“You and me both,” Buffy answered wistfully.  “I’m going to confront her.  Apologize for everything.  See if I can’t get her to finally open up.”  Sensing his building apprehension, she added, “But don’t worry.  I’ll take care of Tucker and his hellhounds, too.  Everyone else deserves a good prom, even if I don’t really fit into that world anymore.”  She walked over and put a hand on his shoulder.  He met her gaze and raised his own hand to settle over hers.  “We’re going to be okay, Giles.”  As he smiled sadly back at her, she just hoped she was right about that.

~~~~

Faith knew she might be in a bit of trouble when two vampires became six or seven.  She’d come upon the two, and figured they’d be easy pickings.  But she startled one by staking the other, and the vampire had run off screaming.  She alerted her cohorts—who had been just hanging out in a nearby crypt—to the presence of the Slayer, and now easy pickings had turned into a full-on brawl.

She kicked one guy in the face and elbowed another, but they were all focused on her now, and she couldn’t get any of them onto her stake.  It was really starting to piss her off, and trading blows when she was this outnumbered was a sure way to get herself killed, and fast.  Faith finally staked another vamp, the one who had run away from her initially, but caught a hard right hook in the face as she did so.  Then a pair of strong hands locked around her from behind, but before she could react, the pressure was gone, and her shoulders were suddenly dusty.

Faith spun around, and there was Buffy.  She raised an eyebrow playfully, her lips parted slightly as she displayed her perfect teeth in a slightly challenging half smile.  Then she burst back into action, and Faith followed her lead.  “That was number eight,” she called out.  “This week.  For me.”  As if Faith wouldn’t immediately understand what she meant.  “How far behind are you?” she taunted.

As she blocked a punch and spun one vampire into another, Faith couldn’t help but shake her head.  _We’re really doin’ this, huh?  B just comes outta nowhere, saves my ass, and now we’re trading quips, just like old times?_   Faith almost decided against responding, but she couldn’t quite help herself.  She had missed this.  She got a running start at one of the two vampires Buffy was fighting at once and caught him off guard.  He caught Buffy’s attention as he burst in an explosion of dust, and Faith shot her a cocky smirk.  “Actually, Blondie, that’s number nineteen for me.”  She’d been hitting the slaying hard lately, so it was to be expected that she would have a significant lead on Buffy.  Faith was pleasantly surprised—she hadn’t been aware that she was still keeping score, but when Buffy brought it up, her number sprang to mind instantly.

Buffy looked dumbfounded, and it was Faith’s turn to raise an eyebrow.  “Should I take a seat and watch the show while you try to play catch-up?”  Buffy rolled her eyes, leaping over a low kick.

“Come on, Faith.  You know solo slaying is so much less fun.”  The response was meant as lighthearted banter, Faith was sure, but it sent an electric thrill down her spine.  It felt less like banter and more like a direct statement of how much Buffy missed Faith.  But that couldn’t be true.  _Could it?_  

Lost in her own thoughts, Faith hesitated for a moment too long, but again, Buffy saved her ass.  She grabbed Faith’s wrist and spun her out of the way of the charging vampire, who then ran straight into Buffy’s stake.  But now, Faith was awake, and she wasn’t about to be outdone.  Grinning as she focused the Slayer energy now pulsing through her, Faith shouted for Buffy to duck.  When she did so, Faith rolled deftly across Buffy’s back, flinging her arm around in a slingshot motion to send her stake rocketing forward into the back of the lone surviving vampire, who was trying to make a hasty retreat.

When she turned back to Buffy, she was immediately aware of just how close they were standing to each other.  Both Slayers were breathing heavily now, and Faith was sure that the intensity shining in Buffy’s emerald eyes was mirrored in her own.  Faith’s heart was racing now, and she could feel their connection as intensely as ever.  _Why is she here?  Why would she help me?_ For a moment there, everything really had felt just like old times, but that just made it hurt all the more when she remembered that they would never really have that again.  Not after what Faith had done.  There was no going back now. 

Faith was the one to break the stare, walking away to pick up her stake.  But Buffy was apparently there for more than some light slaying.  “Faith,” she called out.  “Please don’t run away again.  Can we just … talk?  Please?”  Faith retrieved her stake and pocketed it.  She didn’t run, but she didn’t turn back to Buffy either.  She just stood there, unsure of what to do.  “I was looking for you.”

“Yeah?  And why’s that?” Faith challenged.

“I can’t just want to talk to you?”  She almost turned to face Buffy then, the question seemed so ridiculous after everything that had happened between them.  But she continued looking away, not wanting to give anything away.  “It’s hard to do lately, what with you moving out or whatever.”

“Sometimes a girl just needs some space, ya know?”  Faith kept her voice light and casual, in direct contradiction of how she felt inside.  Her gut was working itself into knots now, and she kept accidentally holding her breath as she waited to hear what Buffy would say next.

“That so?”  Buffy sounded slightly less casual, the concern obvious in her voice even as she tried to come off as playful.  Faith couldn’t get over how weird it was that they were just ignoring the topic of the Mayor entirely.  _As if the last time we saw each other, I wasn’t holding a knife to the neck of B’s best friend_.  Faith had been avoiding the Mayor since that night, even though she knew she couldn’t realistically do so much longer.  She wondered whether he was just giving her space after everything that happened or if, more likely, he was already plotting how to get rid of her and replace her with a new number two just in time for Ascension.

“B, you and I both know you didn’t track me down for some light banter, so why don’t you stop fuckin’ around and tell me what you want?”  She hadn’t meant to sound so harsh, but she didn’t understand why Buffy was trying to be nice to her instead of giving her the pounding she so richly deserved. 

“I … broke up with Angel,” Buffy blurted out, and Faith spun around before she could stop herself, one eyebrow cocked in a look of pure bewilderment.  _Why?  What?_ Faith knew that there was no way Buffy had sought her out just to tell her she broke up with her boyfriend.  _No fuckin’ way._   _So, what is her game here?_

Except that Buffy kept going, and now she was really rambling.  “You were right, about everything.  And I knew it, but everything was just so—”  Buffy’s eyes shot up as she breathed in, her hands gesturing haphazardly.  “So massively screwed up.  I held onto what was familiar, even if I knew it was bad for me.  Everything between you and me has been so confusing ever since I realized that it was more than …”  Buffy’s eyes darted around wildly, as if she had no idea how to put into words what she was thinking.  Faith was surprised that she would even say it out loud, however obscure the reference to the attraction between them was.  “A-and I … dammit, Faith, I didn’t handle any of it well, okay?  I screwed it up royally.  I mean, hell, I only even got back together with Angel because everything felt like it was falling apart, and you completely bailed on me, going off wherever you went without telling anyone but Willow—”

Faith’s eyes felt as wide as saucers at that moment, and Buffy abruptly stopped her rant as she saw Faith’s expression. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck._ Faith was feeling that urge to run away again.  She couldn’t handle this right now.  As if sensing her skittishness, Buffy put her hands out plaintively.  “Hey hey, please.  I’m sorry.  I **_know_** it was dumb, okay?”  As if **_that_** was why Faith was freaking.  _Jesus, B, you’re so obtuse sometimes._   “I just felt lost, and you were gone.  Then Giles betrayed me, and then you screwed me over with the whole thing with Angel’s soul, and god, Faith!  I don’t know what I’m doing here, but I’m sorry, okay?  I don’t—” she shook her head in exasperation.  “I don’t know how we got here.”

Now extremely wary, Faith took a single step backwards.  She couldn’t let herself be moved by Buffy’s apparent show of vulnerability.  She believed the girl was being honest now, but it was too little, too late.  There had been too many mistakes, too much pain going both ways.  “So, what?” Faith jeered.  “What do I care if you finally figured out how shit a deal that relationship was?  Don’t see how that changes anything, B.”

“Doesn’t it?” Buffy challenged, confronting the assertion head on with all the brashness and bravado that Faith loved about her.  She could feel a wet heat building in and around her eyes, and Faith was a split second from running.  She refused to break down in front of Buffy.  “Faith.  Please.  You belong with me, not him.”

And that was the final straw.  It was too much.  Faith was sprinting away before the first tear could spring free of her eyelid, and fortunately, Buffy didn’t give chase.  Faith made sure she got far, far away before she allowed herself to fall apart.  And all she could really think about was that last thing her eyes had focused on before she fled.

Buffy was still wearing the bracelet.

~~~~

A day had passed, and Faith still couldn’t shake her interaction from the night before.  So, she did what any self-respecting badass would do if her crush told her she broke up with her boyfriend and practically begged her to move back in with her again—she stalked her. 

Faith followed Buffy from the library to what might have been the most suburban neighborhood in all of Sunnydale, making sure to stay out of sight the entire time.  That didn’t turn out to be too difficult a task, as whatever mission Buffy was on had her full attention.  Faith couldn’t be sure what impulse led her to keep an eye on Buffy that night, but it wasn’t as if she had anything better to do.  _Follow your crush around town with a bow and arrow or stay home and play Playstation?_   Faith figured those were pretty much the same thing, really.  She wasn’t being weird at all.

She hadn’t slept well the night before, and while she kept telling herself it had nothing to do with Buffy, she couldn’t rid herself of that sinking feeling in her gut.  The one that told her she was a massive piece of shit who had fucked up something that could’ve been great. 

_I only even got back together with Angel because everything felt like it was falling apart, and you completely bailed on me._

Faith cursed herself for at least the tenth time that day. _He was there for her, and I wasn’t.  That’s why he got the girl._   She’d been so stupid, so pathetic.  Running away because of a freak snowstorm.  Turning to the dark side because she couldn’t handle her own jealousy.  Refusing each and every time to just be honest about her feelings.  _What the hell is my problem?_

She lost sight of Buffy when the blonde broke into one of the houses.  Rather than follow her, Faith snuck across the street, climbing up onto the roof of the house directly across the street and finding a spot she could turn into a makeshift sniper’s post.  She’d been practicing a lot with her bow lately, and she was pretty damn deadly with it at this point.  Faith had no clue what Buffy was doing out here, but the safe bet was on demons of some sort.  She nocked an arrow and waited to see what would happen.

Within minutes of Buffy entering the house, the garage door opened, and three … things … scampered out.  They looked a little like werewolves, but maybe a little smaller, a little more agile, and with dark reddish fur.  Definitely demonic.  Faith lodged an arrow directly in the throat of one of them, but the other two snuck around another house before she could pull another arrow.  Faith’s eyes darted back to the house, looking for Buffy.  Surely she’d be coming after them at any moment.  _Come on, B._ Faith didn’t want to think about the possibility that maybe Buffy had run into more trouble than she could handle inside the house.

 Faced with a tough decision, Faith decided to trust Buffy.  Trust that she could handle herself.  She took off down the roof, leaping onto the next, and made her way roof to roof until she hit a cross street.  She could see the beasties spring through yards, at least a few hundred yards ahead of her.  _Speedy little fuckers._   She still didn’t have a good shot at them, so she leapt to the ground and continued her pursuit.

She only needed a few minutes to figure out that they were headed straight for the high school, but she thought she was starting to gain on them a little.  Once she figured out the destination, she pushed herself into a full-on sprint, and took a few shortcuts to overtake the furries before they reached the school.  She threw herself quickly up a ladder and onto the roof of one of the school buildings, with a perfect view of the front lawn.

Faith could hear the loud music from inside what she believed was the gym, and she wondered what was going on inside.  _Prom maybe?_   Her breath caught in her throat for a split second as she remembered how gorgeous Buffy had looked at Homecoming, even after their spirited traipse through demon-infested woods.  Some part of her hated that she had screwed herself and Buffy out of an opportunity to repeat that performance.  Especially now that she knew Buffy and Angel were done.  Then she took a steadying breath, released all of her frustrations out with the exhale, and focused on the task at hand.

Leaning out just slightly as she nocked another arrow, Faith tracked down the two little devils, but she was momentarily distracted by movement in her periphery.  Just as the two creatures were slowing down, there was Buffy.  She must not have been far behind Faith, and she wondered for a moment if the other Slayer had caught sight of her.  If she had, Faith wasn’t a priority at the moment; Buffy’s attention was firmly on the beasts as she stopped her dead sprint on a dime and raised her crossbow, aiming carefully.

Faith grinned.  She waited just long enough to see which beastie Buffy was targeting, then readjusted her aim and let her arrow fly.  The two creatures went down almost simultaneously, and there was no hiding the fact that she was there now.  Didn’t mean she had to give away her position though.  Things were still way too confusing with Buffy.

“Faith?” Buffy called out into the night.  Faith pressed herself down against the roof, resisting the urge to try and take a look down at Buffy again.  “I know you’re out here!  I appreciate the help, but you don’t have to hide.  Please, just talk to me.  Whatever is going on with the Mayor, I can help you.  **_We_** can help you!”

She ignored the blonde’s entreaties, focusing on keeping her breathing soft and steady.  Slayer hearing was no joke, and Faith knew that if Buffy found her, they’d have to talk again.  And she wasn’t ready for that.  Not yet.

Faith could hear Buffy sigh loudly, then there were footsteps leading in the direction of the doors to the school.  But she didn’t hear the sound of the doors opening.  Instead, Buffy said, in an even voice rather than a shout this time, “Thank you.”  After a couple of seconds, she added, in a much softer voice that Faith had to really strain to hear, “I wish we could’ve gone to prom together.  It’ll probably be dumb, but you would’ve loved it anyway.” 

Buffy’s quiet admission sucked all the oxygen from Faith’s lungs.  She laid there, frozen but with slightly trembling hands, until she heard the doors open, then close.  Only then did she dare whisper, “Yeah, me too, B.”  And for the second night in a row, Buffy’s show of vulnerability reduced Faith into a crying mess of a girl.

~~~~

“We have one more award to give out.”  Over the sound of the punch she was pouring herself, Buffy could hear a different voice taking over the class awards announcements.  She wasn’t personally all that concerned with them, since she and the Scoobies weren’t exactly awards people.  She was just glad she had finished off the hellhounds—with a little unexpected help—in time to make an appearance at the dance at all.  Date or no date, she was determined to have this final big high school rite of passage.  But the next words from the new announcer stunned her to her core.  “Is Buffy Summers here tonight?  Did she, um—”

Buffy turned from the punch fountain to face the stage, where tiny little Jonathan was standing, searching through the crowd for her face.  She glanced out across the crowd, and people started to see that she was, in fact, there.  Then someone shined a big spotlight on her, and there was no avoiding notice then.  She did her best to smile and hide her nerves, because she had no idea what was going on at this point.  Buffy was no longer accustomed to being attention gal, at least not at a school function.

Jonathan smiled when he finally caught sight of her.  “This is actually a new category,” he explained.  “First time ever.  I guess there were a lot of write-in ballots, and, um, the prom committee asked me to read this.”  He unfolded the sheet of paper in his hand and began to read, while Buffy’s stomach continued to flutter.  “’We're not good friends.  Most of us never found the time to get to know you, but that doesn't mean we haven't noticed you.’”  Buffy could feel her lips quiver slightly, and she hadn’t expected this **_at all_**.  “’We don't talk about it much, but it's no secret that Sunnydale High isn't really like other high schools. A lot of weird stuff happens here.’”

Buffy grinned just a little as people in the crowd shouted out some of the weird they had each encountered: zombies, hyena people, and, of course, Snyder.  That one drew some healthy laughter from the crowd.

Jonathan continued reading.  “’But, whenever there was a problem or something creepy happened, you seemed to show up and stop it.  Most of the people here have been saved by you or helped by you at one time or another.  We're proud to say that the Class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate of any graduating class in Sunnydale history.’”  That horrific, but somehow nevertheless amusing and inspiring, statistic drew a healthy amount of applause. 

To her left, she finally caught sight of Willow and Oz, and the redhead was practically beaming now.  Their eyes met, and Willow mouthed ‘I love you,’ as she continued to smile brightly.  Tears were forming along Buffy’s lower eyelids, and there was nothing she could do about it.  Buffy was just glad she had, on a whim, gone with the waterproof mascara tonight.  

As the applause died down, Jonathan finished his speech.  “’And we know at least part of that is because of you.  So, the senior class offers its thanks and gives you, uh, um, **_this_**.’’  He reached behind him and produced the strangest, most adorable award Buffy had ever seen.  It was a multicolored, glittering, miniature umbrella, and it practically shimmered in the dance lighting as he lifted it for all to see.  “It’s from all of us, and it has written here,--” he pointed to the small metal plaque on the shaft of the umbrella, “—‘Buffy Summers, Class Protector.’” 

Two things happened simultaneously.  The crowd parted down the middle, giving her a direct path to the stage, and at the same time, everyone broke into uproarious applause and cheering.  Buffy dabbed gently at the tears that had escaped onto her cheeks, and then walked forward.  She had no idea that anyone had a clue about all the monsters and demons, all the fights and close calls and averted apocalypses.  She honestly thought all these people just thought she was some weird girl at best, and a violent troublemaker at worst.  Buffy didn’t have words to describe how amazing it felt to be seen, to be recognized for all the hard work she had put in the last three years.  Just to know that people knew what she had done for them, and to feel appreciated.

The cheering and applause didn’t stop until she made it to the stage and received her award.  As much as she couldn’t quite hold back the tears before, now she couldn’t fight the bright smile that spread across her lips.  She just wished that Faith could be there with her.  She’d only been around the past year, and yeah, she’d made a bunch of mistakes.  But Faith had saved several people in this gym, including Buffy herself.  Part of this award was hers too, even if she wasn’t technically a student at Sunnydale High.

Once everything had died down a little, she made her way over to Giles, who looked surprisingly dapper in his tuxedo.  “Who knew they made chaperones this handsome?” Buffy teased, drawing a small grin from the former Watcher.

“You did good work tonight, Buffy.”

“And I got a little toy surprise,” she cooed, opening and closing her tiny umbrella dramatically.

“I had no idea that children en masse could be gracious.”

“Giles,” Buffy scolded.  “At least half this crowd is legally an adult.”

“Yes well…” he shot a disapproving look over to where Wesley was dancing with Cordelia, “Emotionally, there are still plenty of children fluttering about the gym tonight.”

She gave him a mocking look, but then she got serious.  “I had help with the hellhounds tonight.”  His eyebrows raised in question, and she explained, “Faith.  Wasn’t just the one beastie—Tucker had three spares.  I raced out after them, but I found one just outside his house with an arrow through its throat.  When I caught up to the other two just outside the school, she had beaten me there, I guess.  Another arrow found its way into another throat at the same time I took out one with my crossbow.”

“Do you suppose she’s been watching over you?”  Giles sounded legitimately hopeful then, in his own stolid, British way.  Buffy pursed her lips, pondering.

“She was tonight, at least.  We talked a little last night, and I’m not sure if I got through to her.  She kinda freaked out and ran away.  But this proves that whatever she’s doing with the Mayor, she’s still on the side of good.”

“She’s certainly not evil, I’ll give you that.”  He sounded uncertain still, and she couldn’t blame him.  But this was the most hopeful she’d felt about Faith since everything with Deputy Mayor Finch.

“Every now and then, people surprise you,“ she assured him. 

“Every now and then,” he agreed, his smile warm and genuine.  “Enjoy tonight, Buffy.  You deserve it.”  She nodded brightly, then went in search of Willow, Oz and Xander.  And … Anya, apparently.  Buffy wasn’t sure what she saw in Xander, but she guessed of all the groups for an ex-demon to end up socializing with, the Scoobies made the most sense.  

_Tonight, the prom.  Tomorrow, we figure out how we’re going to stop the Mayor._


	18. Always Got Your Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Graduation Day (Parts 1 and 2)

The apartment is dark, save for a couple of scattered lamps here and there.  Faith stands by her bed facing Buffy, who is wearing the most incredibly sexy outfit Faith has ever seen her in.  Tight, red leather pants.  Black boots that look heavy enough to kick some serious ass.  Form-fitting, black, high-necked tank top, under a thick, black leather jacket.  Blonde hair wild and free.  But her emerald eyes are dark with wicked intention and righteous fury.  She looks at Faith with murder in those eyes.

“You know you're not going to take me alive,” Faith assures her, trying to hide the deep sense of fear in her chest behind a thick veil of bravado.

“Not a problem,” Buffy answers coldly.  It’s as if the blonde never cared about her at all in this moment, any previous affection completely burned away and replaced with contempt.

“Well, look at you,” Faith sneers.  “All dressed up in big sister's clothes.”  Inside, she aches with self-loathing.  She yearns for Buffy to finally end it.  Put her down like the wild animal she is.

Buffy’s eyes are no longer green.  They are as dark as the night outside Faith’s window.  She steps forward, and the two Slayers circle each other.  “You told me I was just like you.  That I was holding it in.”  Deep down, Faith knows that Buffy could never be like her.  Buffy has too much goodness in her.  She’s suffered plenty.  Not like Faith, but she’s been through more than most.  But she didn’t let it break her.  Warp her into a dark reflection of herself.  Make her a monster.

But Faith had.  Buffy gets closer, and this feels wrong.  It’s Faith’s eyes that should be dark and lifeless, not Buffy’s.  They’re standing face to face now.  “Ready to cut loose?” Faith goads, her voice as husky and seductive as she can make it.  She wants Buffy to end this, to end her, but dammit if she isn’t going to have some fun with her first.

“Try me.”

“Okay then.”  On a whim, Faith adds, “Give us a kiss.”  But then Buffy is moving, and it is not her lips that she brings to bear on Faith’s face.  Buffy lands a solid right hook to her jaw, and as fluid as in a dance, Faith uses her momentum to spin around and hit Buffy in an exact mirror of her first attack.  They pause, and then the dance begins again.  The apartment fades in and out around them as they fight, and Faith swears she can hear past conversations they have shared buzzing in her ears, just beyond her ability to understand them.  After a few seconds, or perhaps a few hours, of back and forth, Buffy slams into her, and glass shatters around them.

They are on a roof now, and the Slayers are handcuffed together.  Now it is Buffy doing the taunting.  “What's the matter?  All that killing, you afraid to die?”  It’s a twisted joke.  With each murder, Faith wished that much more for her own death.  Easier to have it end than to face what she has become.  But she is too proud to do it herself.

Then the knife is in Buffy’s hand again.  Faith is no longer sure how many times Buffy has killed her with that knife, but she knows it won’t be long before it finds its way back to its proper place in her gut.  “That’s mine,” she whispers, referring as much to her inevitable death at Buffy’s hand as to the knife itself.

Their dance continues, and now Faith is trying desperately to avoid the impossibly sharp blade.  Even still, she savors the closeness to Buffy, the electric hum of the dangerous energy between them.  “I’m going to miss this.”  And that’s when it happens.

The knife buries itself in her gut, and the blood begins to ooze out, as always.  “You did it,” Faith hums, smiling.  “You killed me.”  Finally, it can be over.  But then it isn’t.  She isn’t bleeding out on that rooftop, she’s alone in a hospital bed.  She can’t move, can’t open her eyes, can’t speak.  The only sound is the incessant beeping of the machines keeping her in limbo, neither dead nor alive. 

“Death is her gift, not yours,” echoes a harsh, raspy voice.  It comes from everywhere and nowhere, all at once.  Then the machines light up with noisy alerts as her body begins to shudder and spasm wildly.

Faith was hyperventilating as she sprang awake, the voice still echoing in her head.  Her hands were shaking, and she couldn’t calm them, couldn’t temper the sharp stab of terror that gripped at her heart.  This dream felt different than the others.  More immediate; more real. 

Once again, she wished she could talk to Buffy about the dreams—at this point, she’d even consider talking to Giles about them.  They meant something, and Faith couldn’t pretend it was just her restless and guilty mind anymore.  These dreams were omens, and considering that they all involved Buffy stabbing Faith with the knife the Mayor had gifted her, Faith felt like she needed to start taking the omens seriously.  _But what does it all mean?  What am I supposed to do?_

Faith took a long, hot shower.  She wanted to clear her head a little, but the dream continued to haunt her, along with her recent conversations with Buffy.  Faith felt lost.  Sunnydale High’s graduation was three days away, and she still hadn’t been able to get any new information out of the Mayor about what the Ascension was.  All she knew for sure was that it would make him all kinds of powerful, and he kept hinting that things would be different in Sunnydale afterwards.  But he hadn’t given her anything she could use against him.  Nothing she could take as a peace offering to the Scoobies.

Buffy sure made it seem like she still had a place on the team, despite everything.  But that made no sense.  Faith knew who she was— ** _what_** she was.  It made her skin crawl, but Buffy was wrong.  She belonged with the Mayor and his ilk.  She didn’t deserve Buffy’s forgiveness, much less her trust.  Faith thought again of Buffy driving that knife into her gut.  Twisting the knife.  The looks of contempt and hatred.  She shuddered, suddenly cold despite the heat of the water around her.

 _As long as I hold onto the knife, that’ll never happen._   It was the best she could do to convince herself.  She got dressed quickly, realizing that she’d slept in and then took entirely too long in the shower.  Mayor Wilkins was bringing her lunch, which meant he had an errand for her.  He was punctual as ever, knocking on her door just as she was finishing with her mascara.  “Be right there, Boss!”

She finished, then strode over to the door, letting him in.  “I brought your favorite!” he beamed, walking into the apartment like he owned the place.  Which … she guessed he probably did.  He never really gave her all the details about whose name was on the lease or whatever.  He sat down the paper bag marked with the bright Happy Burger logo on Faith’s small dining table.  She rushed over to retrieve its contents, the smell of the greasy food already driving her crazy.  “You know, I just wish that you’d develop a taste for more nourishing cuisine.  I know you’ve got Slayer metabolism, but let me tell you, there is nothing like some nice oven-roasted asparagus.” 

Faith took a large bite of greasy cheeseburger and chewed it pointedly in Wilkins’ face, partially to be a brat and partially because, while she had no idea what asparagus was, she was sure she’d hate it.  She swallowed, then flashed a bright grin to head off any scolding.  She got some anyway.  “You know, one of these days I’m going to have to teach you manners and basic table etiquette.  After the Ascension, you’ll have boys—or girls—” he added, though she didn’t think he sounded as enthused about that possibility, “—lining up to ask you out.  Gotta be sure you’re prepared.” 

“I dunno, Boss.  Fancy dinners and table manners and pretty dresses … that just isn’t me.” 

He walked over slowly, taking his time to tidy up the apartment here and there even as he spoke. “Not you?  Let me tell you something.  Nobody knows what you are.   Not even you, little Miss Seen-it-all.  The Ascension isn't just **_my_** day.  It's yours too.”  She couldn’t meet his gaze, even as he towered over her now.  “Your day to blossom, to show the world what a powerful girl you are.  I think of what you've done, what I know you will do—” he placed a hand on her cheek, before tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear, “—no father could be prouder.”

Faith expended every bit of acting skill and energy in her body repressing a shudder and replacing it with an expression of adoration.  “I hope I don't let you down.”

“Impossible,” he assured her.  “Now, eat up!  You’ll need your strength in the coming days.  Starting with tonight.  I’ve got a little errand for you, and it’s quite important, my dear.”  Faith took another bite, watching him carefully as he settled onto the back of the nearby sofa.  “There is a local professor who has recently returned from a very interesting expedition to the ancient site of a volcano.  I’ve been informed that what he found buried there could provide vital information about the Ascension.  Information I can’t afford to have anyone getting access to.”

Faith’s stomach dropped.  She could already see where this was going.  _Please don’t ask me to do that.  Please._   “I need you to pay Dr. Worth a visit in his home.  Make sure he turns over all of his research relating to this expedition.  Then kill him and bring everything to me so I can destroy it.”

She swallowed hard, no longer having the energy to hide her misgivings.  “Boss, come on.  He’s just …”  _Human,_ she didn’t finish, realizing she was falling into the same black and white thinking that bothered her so much about Buffy.  But he was, as far as she knew, just an innocent guy who happened to find something that he shouldn’t have found.  _And now Wilkins wants me to kill him in cold blood, just because._

The Mayor’s brow furrowed, and his eyes became coldly curious as he parsed her reaction.  “Come now, Faith.  This won’t be an issue, will it?  We both know you’ve killed before.”  Her mind went immediately to that horrific scene that would always haunt her, seeing with perfectly clarity the life draining out of the eyes of Allan Finch, as if it had happened yesterday.  Allan Finch, whose murder the Mayor had pinned on a very believable and very deserving fall guy.  Allan Finch, whose willingness to let himself get caught up in the Mayor’s big scheme eventually got him killed.  _I can’t do it._

Sensing her continued hesitation, the Mayor frowned for the first time since entering her apartment.  Then he bit his lip in an expression of clear irritation.  “Don’t think I haven’t noticed your recent reticence, young lady.  Where’s my go get ‘em girl, with the initiative and that delightful violent streak?”  She watched him cautiously, noticing how cold his normally cheerful eyes looked at this point.  “Well let me just tell you, you’re in too deep now.  There’s no going back.  The Ascension is in three days, and there’s no going back for any of us.” 

He stood again, this time really leaning into the height difference between them, all the more pronounced by the fact that she was still sitting.  “But hey!  I know you’ve got it in you, kiddo.  Here’s the address—” he pulled a small, folded piece of paper from his pocket and laid it gently on the table, then he took hold of Faith’s face by the chin and forced her to look him in the eyes.  “I trust that you won’t let me down.  If you were to fail me in that way, well …” He shook his head ever so slightly, and his hand tightened on her chin, “it’s a little late for me to be replacing my favorite girl, now isn’t it?”

Wilkins released her, having made his point.  Faith could feel nothing but dread at this point.  He turned and made his way slowly back towards the door.  Without turning, he said his goodbye, as friendly as it was ominous.  “Enjoy your afternoon, Faith.  I’ll expect to see you tonight in my office, once the deed is done.  And lest you think about running, I’ll remind you that I am no Kakistos.  After the Ascension, there will be nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.  Believe me, you’ll want to be at my side come graduation day.”

~~~~

Professor Lester Worth’s apartment was not difficult to find.  Faith was doing everything she could think to prepare herself for this task that she was dreading.  Heavy, dark makeup like war paint.  An outfit that was equal parts armor and empowerment, almost like a darker version of what Buffy wore in Faith’s latest Slayer dream.  And, of course, her trusty knife, which she had refused to let out of her sight since she woke from said dream.

As she pushed herself towards the door she knew was his, she was fully aware that she was no longer in her right mind.  Which was the point.  She could never have done this in her right mind.  Faith was about to commit the most heinous act of her life—she had done her best not to think about it.  Thinking about it made her sick.  She had downed an entire bottle of Jack Daniels as she prepared herself and walked over from her apartment.  She blew out a heavy breath, then she began the process of psyching herself up.

 _You don’t have any choice in this.  It’s his head or yours.  This isn’t murder; it’s survival.  Survival is what I’ve always been about.  That’s all I’ve ever had._ There were a lot of things in life that had always been out of reach for Faith.  Support.  Choice.  Happiness.  Love.  But she had fought tooth and nail her entire life to survive, and she wasn’t about to give up now.  She blew out another uneasy breath.  _I can do this.  I’m the Slayer.  I have the power.  I was built for violence.  There’s no right and wrong.  No higher power.  No code.  Just power, and those capable of wielding it.  You fight or you die._

Forcing all emotion from her face, Faith knocked on the door.  “Just a moment!” came the muffled response from inside.  The man who opened the door was exactly what you would expect a college professor to look like: tallish, white, bespectacled, and slightly heavyset, with thinning grey hair.  He wore a white striped button-down with a bowtie and a heavy brown cardigan, and his face lit with a frustratingly pleasant smile when he laid eyes on his visitor.  “Hello there, young lady!  I should have you know that it is most unusual to receive visitors at my home.  Students generally make an appointment at the school, during my office hours.”

“I’m not from the college.  I work for Mayor Wilkins.”  His eyes sparked with recognition.

“Oh yes!  Well, come in, please.”  He moved aside, allowing her into his home.  She walked in, and he closed the door behind him.  “I was so surprised when he called.  Didn’t expect a politician to be interested in my work.”

“He’s a big fan,” she muttered, trying to keep her breathing normal.  Worth had eccentric tastes, and his apartment looked more like a set from an Indiana Jones movie than a home.  It had character, she noted wistfully.  She hated herself more and more with each passing moment.  But she had a job to do, and no choice about whether she would do it.  _Him or me._ “We alone here, Professor?”

“Hmm?  Oh, well, yes.  Lifelong bachelor.  I like my space.”  _Bet you do._ “And really, Lester’s fine.”  _It really isn’t, Professor._ Faith wasn’t looking to get friendly with a guy whose life she was about to cut tragically short.  But she couldn’t quite bring herself to reach for the knife yet.

“Tell me about your research?” she asked softly.  Faith knew she was delaying the inevitable, but she couldn’t do it yet.  She just needed some more time.  Needed to know what it was this professor was about to die for.

She went out of her way not to look back at Worth, but she could hear the excitement in his voice, even if she couldn’t see it on his face.  “Oh, it’s really quite extraordinary.  My expedition lasted nearly a month, as we excavated a previously undiscovered cavern that had been buried beneath a rather unique formation of obsidian and other, heavier volcanic materials.  What we found there was quite remarkable, the remains of a massive serpentine species, which I believe to be previously undiscovered type of mosasaur—”

“What, like a dinosaur?” she glanced over at him to catch a healthy dose of condescension.  Or that’s what she told herself she saw.  That’s what she **_needed_** to see.

“Yes … like a dinosaur, a snake-like marine reptile species.  The most stunning revelation was the apparent age of the creature.  As far as any of us know, creatures such as this one should have died out by the end of the Cretaceous period, but these remains appear to be no more than a few centuries old.  Quite the mystery.”

 _A massive, snake-like creature buried in lava, that should’ve been much, much older than it actually was.  Is this the Ascension?  Did someone else ‘ascend’ a few centuries ago?  Didn’t figure the Boss for having a snake fetish, but okay._   Faith had thought that this knowledge might change something for her, but no such luck.  _Fuck it.  Just get it over with, Faith.  Be the monster he knows you are._

She pulled her knife and turned to face her victim.  “Face the wall,” she ordered, not wanting to see his face while she did this.  His eyes flashed in sudden shock and terror.

“No!  What are you doing?!”  He backed away from her, but she stalked closer even as his did so.  He bumped against the wall, nowhere else to run.

“Please, face the wall.  I’ll make it quick.”

His lip quivered, and his brow furrowed.  “Put that away!” he pleaded.  “I’ll scream!”  _Who wouldn’t?_ she thought, but she advanced on him, knife in hand.  “Please,” he begged, eyes shimmering with horrified tears.  “Please.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, trying not to allow herself to tear up.  A sharp wave of nausea threatened to overwhelm her.  “Boss wants you dead.”

“Why?” he gasped.  And that was when everything clicked into place.  _Lava.  A volcano killed that creature, buried it in sulfur and ash.  That’s what Wilkins doesn’t want anyone to know.  That’s his weakness once he ascends._   Faith’s hand shook, and for all her certainty that there was no escaping the Mayor, she knew she couldn’t do this.  _I may be a monster, but I can’t … I **won’t** be a murderer._  The knife slipped from her hand.

Again Faith found herself unable to make eye contact.  Meekly, she ordered, “Give me all your research on this creature.  **_Everything._** Don’t ask any questions, don’t hold anything back.”  When he didn’t move, she added, “I’m not going to kill you.  Please, you have to do this.”  Faith was no longer paying much attention to her surroundings, but she listened with enough attention to know that he was doing as he was told.  She listened for any indication he might try to call the police, but thankfully, he didn’t make things any more difficult than they had already been. 

While she waited, she bent over and retrieved her knife, sheathing it carefully.  Faith breathed out heavily, and now she felt numb again.  Out of it.  But not so out of it that she had forgotten her dreams, and where the knife might end up if she let it out of her possession.

Within five minutes, he had compiled everything, bringing her two thick manila envelopes full of papers.  “This is everything.  Just take it and leave.  **_Please_**.  I don’t want any trouble.”

“We’re all about to be in a lot of trouble, Lester,” Faith confessed absentmindedly.  “Me most of all, I think.  But if any of us are gonna have a shot at survivin’ the next coupla days, it’s gonna be because of your research.”  Faith chuckled darkly.  “Ain’t that a bitch.”  He opened the door, completely unsubtle about his desire to be rid of her.  She nodded and walked towards the door.  “I wasn’t messin’ around about the Mayor wantin’ you dead.  If you have any real desire to live, you’ll pack a bag and get the fuck outta town.  Tonight.”  He glared at her, but she thought maybe he looked as though he might heed her warning.  She hoped so anyway, but she couldn’t really be sure as he slammed the door in her face.   _Hey, guess I had a choice after all._

“Good luck, Lester,” she muttered, then marched off to her reckoning.

~~~~

As Buffy spit the minty fresh mix of toothpaste and water into the sink and rinsed her mouth out, she realized that she hadn’t thought about the Ascension once in the last couple of minutes.  Which was something of a record for her of late.  She wondered how little sleep she’d get tonight.  _Sleepy Slayer isn’t exactly on her game, but it’s pretty hard to sleep with an unknown end of the world weighing on you._ Not to mention the fact that the Mayor still had Faith in his clutches, and Buffy had no idea if the other girl was okay.  Or which side of the coming battle she would actually be on.

Buffy shut off the bathroom light and headed back to her bedroom.  As always, she paused for the briefest moment outside Faith’s room, but it wasn’t until she reached her own that she sensed the other Slayer’s presence.  Buffy froze just inside her door, eyes focused solely on the huddled, shuddering mass on the floor against the far wall, just beneath the open window.  Buffy’s bedroom was completely dark, save for the ambient light from the window, but it was as if she could see Faith’s dark form as clear as day.

Faith was sobbing, though she appeared to be doing her level best to keep it as quiet and under control as possible, and Buffy had no idea how long she had been there.  In a heartbeat, Buffy was at her side, any fear of potential violence between them forgotten.  Faith’s face was hidden behind a thick curtain of dark hair.  She was wearing a black leather jacket and a skimpy black top that exposed her still quivering abs.  One leather-clad leg was stretched out on the floor, and the other was bent, with her arms wrapped tightly around her knee.  If she recognized Buffy’s presence beside her, she didn’t acknowledge it.

Tentatively, Buffy reached out a hand to rest on Faith’s back.  She tensed, almost violently, but she didn’t pull away.  She did, however, begin to cry even harder.  Buffy had never seen Faith this out of control, this utterly broken.  It was one of the most heartbreaking things she’d ever seen.  “Faith?” she asked softly.  “It’s okay; I’m here.  What happened?”  She refused to scare the other girl away again, but for good or for ill, Faith didn’t look as though she was capable of fleeing at this point.  Unable to answer, Faith’s body continued to shudder under the force of her anguish.

Buffy did what she could to calm the other girl, rubbing her back softly and moving in a little closer, whispering soft, soothing sounds.  Several minutes passed like that, with Faith letting out a seemingly immeasurable reserve of emotion, and Buffy wishing she could do something— ** _anything_** —to soothe her pain.  Eventually, Faith’s sobs became somewhat less ferocious, and Buffy decided to push, just a little.

She kept her right hand on Faith’s back but reached with the other to push some of the dark hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear and gently cupping her cheek.   Faith raised her head slightly, and it was a mess of dark tears and blotted, runny mascara and eyeliner.  Faith was like a soft, sad, sorrowfully beautiful raccoon, and Buffy had to hold back a tiny grin at the silly thought.  “Hi,” Buffy whispered, and finally Faith’s eyes met hers.

Her lip quivered as she swallowed another sob, and then Faith answered with a barely there, “Hey.”  She breathed in heavily, and her exhale was shaky, but solid.  Her eyes didn’t seem to want to focus, darting between Buffy’s eyes, then down to the floor, then to the side, then back to Buffy.  Glistening and narrow, the dark amber pools were stormy with a sort of deep, inescapable distress that Buffy had never seen there before.

“Faith, what happened?”  Buffy kept her voice soft and sweet.

“I—” Faith drew in another shaky breath, several more tears escaping the pitch-black rims of her eyes.  She blew it out heavily.  “Fuck.  B, I’m so fucked.”  She started crying again, slamming her head back against the wall and working hard to get control over herself again.

Again, Buffy’s hand returned to Faith’s cheek, this time gently wiping away tears and makeup stains.  She kept it there, waiting patiently.  “It’s okay.  Just breathe.  Just keep breathing.  You can tell me what happened when you’re ready.”  For whatever reason, that seemed to steady Faith a little, and Buffy smiled at her softly, before withdrawing her hand.  Faith exhaled, then ran her hands through her hair, pushing it back and out of her face.

“The Mayor sent me to kill someone tonight.”  Faith blinked heavily, and now she wouldn’t meet Buffy’s gaze.  She flexed her fingers over and over, then shook them nervously in the air.  “I c-couldn’t… fuck!  Buffy, I couldn’t do it.  C-couldn’t cross that last line.”  Faith started crying again.  “Fuck, I’m s-such a w-w-worthless piece of **_shit_**.  Can’t even do evil right.”

Buffy wrapped her arms around Faith and pulled the other girl’s head against her shoulder.  “Faith, shut up.  You couldn’t do it because you’re not this monster you think you are.  I don’t know how many times I have to tell you.”  Faith sobbed that much harder against Buffy, her entire body slumping into her as if all the energy was gone from her limbs.  Buffy continued to rub her back, her other hand cupping the back of Faith’s head firmly.  “You’re going to be okay.  I promise.  We’ll figure this out.”

She could feel Faith’s head shaking against her, the other girl refusing to believe things could be okay.  “I … I-I know I’m fucked up, B.  I’m a fuckin’ mess.  But I c-couldn’t … fuck, I couldn’t just **_murder_** someone.  Poor Lester.”  Buffy didn’t have a clue who Lester was, but context clues would seem to indicate it was the guy Wilkins wanted dead.  “God.  Finch was an accident.  I didn’t mean it.  I didn’t!  I freaked, but I-I-I—”

“Shhhhh.”  Buffy rubbed her back that much harder.  “Hey.  I **_know_**.  It wasn’t your fault.  It was a tragic mistake.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for all of it.  But it wasn’t your fault.  You’re **_not_** a monster.”  She pulled back just enough that she could cup Faith’s face in her hands again, catching her gaze.  “Faith.  You are **_not_** a monster.  You are a good person.  And I believe in you.  I promise you, it’s going to be okay.”

Faith shook her head fiercely, pulling away from Buffy.  “No it isn’t!” she gasped, voice hoarse from the crying.  “B, we’re so fucked.  He’s gonna—”  Her breathing quickened, but she worked to maintain control even through her anxiety.  “I know what the Ascension is.  I know how to stop him.  But I don’t know h-how we’re gonna d-do it.”

Buffy didn’t know how to answer that.  But for the first time in over a month, Buffy **_did_** know that Faith was with her again.  Broken and scared, yes, but **_here_**.  Back on the side of good.  And that’s what mattered—together, they would find a way.  She just had to convince Faith of that.  The other Slayer’s tears were drying, but she was still agitated, fingers flexing tightly around her knee and eyes blinking rapidly.  Her breathing was shaky and just on the calm side of frantic.  _Is this just because of what she nearly did?  Or did the Mayor do something to her?_   Buffy’s brow furrowed as she ground her teeth.  If he touched her, she was going to kill him extra hard.

“Faith—”  Again, the other Slayer shook her head, trying to keep a bit of distance between them.  Something shiny at Faith’s feet caught Buffy’s eyes, and for the first time, she noticed the knife on the floor, glinting in the moonlight.  Buffy rapidly turned her eyes back to Faith, not wanting to be caught staring at the weapon.  She was terrified of setting Faith off again. 

“He’s comin’ for me,” Faith whimpered.  “Bet he already knows I didn’t do it.  Ain’t nowhere I can go.  It was him or me, and I let him live.  Wilkins warned me there was nowhere I can run, and … fuck.”  Her eyes focused on Buffy, watery and haunted.  “If I’m gonna die either way, I wanna be here with you.  I’ve done awful things, and I betrayed your trust.  I know you said we could work things out, and that you and Angel aren’t together, but …”  She blew out a pained breath.  “I know what I am.  You don’t owe me shit.  I know you care about him.  That you’ll always love him.  And I tried to turn him into a monster again, just because I was jealous. …  I-it was unforgivable.” 

Her eyes darted to the side, then back to Buffy.  She flexed her fingers one more time, then reached out a hand, tentatively placing it on Buffy’s leg.  “But I’m here.  Done tryin’ to run.  Do whatcha want with me, whatever you think is right, but at least let me help take out the Mayor.  Dunno if redemption is an option for me, but at least gimme a chance to try.” 

Buffy’s hand rose back to Faith’s cheek.  “Of course it’s an option, Faith.”  She looked down at the knife again and then reached for it, on a whim.  As her fingers tightened around its perfectly weighted hilt, Faith sprang back from her.  In a flash, Faith was on her feet, crouched in a defensive stance in the corner.  Her face was twisted into an expression of pure terror, nostrils flaring and eyes shimmering, wide and bright with panic. 

“Please don’t,” Faith shrieked.  She was trembling, and Buffy felt completely taken aback.  Faith looked at her like she was the most horrifying monster.  _What did I do?_   But Faith wasn’t looking at **_her_** , not exactly.  Her eyes were locked on the knife in Buffy’s hand, which she immediately dropped onto the bed.

Buffy put her hands in the air and stepped away from the knife.  “Faith, it’s okay.  I don’t know what’s going on, but I promise, I’m not going to hurt you.”  Buffy let her arms fall to her sides, but she kept her hands out slightly, palms facing forward in a gesture that hopefully showed Faith she had no intentions of causing her harm.  “Why don’t you tell me why you’re so afraid of that knife?”

Her eyes stayed on the knife for several moments, then she looked back to Buffy.  With a loud exhale, she very visibly worked to regain control over herself, rolling her shoulders and popping her neck.  Then she crept forward timidly and sat down on the bed, next to the knife.  Buffy tilted her head a little, waiting to see how calm Faith would stay, and when everything seemed fine, she slipped over and sat next to her, the knife resting conspicuously between them.  Faith bit her lip nervously, then admitted that she had been having dreams.

“The dreams have gotten more and more nightmarish, but the gist of each of them is that you kill me with this knife.  Stab me in the gut.”  The way Faith’s voice broke lent an added weight to the simple words. 

“So you think they’re prophesy dreams?”

Faith nodded firmly.  “Some of ‘em were kinda weird, like I was seeing into an alternate universe, like … I’d murdered some people or I had been in a coma … or uh, …”  Brows furrowed, Buffy checked to see why Faith had paused, and she was met with a bright pink blush on the other Slayer’s cheeks.  She couldn’t help but grin at that. 

“Or what, Faith?”  She could tell this was a heavy moment, but something told her it would be okay to push a little.

Faith shot an exasperated side eye at her.  “Fuck.  Fine.  There was one where we were together.  Or we had been, but it was … **_nice._**   Till you were twistin’ that knife in my gut again.”  The tragic end to the dream was the only thing keeping Buffy from making a crack about literally being Faith’s dream girl.

Instead, she asked, “So … when I picked up the knife, what?  You thought I was just gonna get all stabby stabby?”

Faith made a face, her expression suspiciously similar to a pout.  “Nah.  But … ugh, guess I wasn’t really doin’ much thinking.  You picked up the knife and suddenly I felt like I was back in one of the dreams again.  You’re … B, you’re not you in those dreams.  Not exactly.  It’s like you’re some steely terminator chick who really fuckin’ hates me.  ‘Cept that in most of the dreams there’s this sense that we both know there used to be something between us that is completely dead now.”

hat explained a lot about Faith’s headspace lately, as far as Buffy was concerned.  Why it was so easy for Faith to believe a few terrible mistakes had warped her into this irredeemable monster.  Why she had so much trouble believing that Buffy genuinely wanted to try and repair their relationship.  So much was starting to fall into place now.  And Buffy had her own interpretation of Faith’s dreams. 

“You wanna know what I think?”  Buffy was well aware that Faith was watching her hands, and she was careful not to give even the appearance of making a move on the knife.  Faith seemed more lucid now, but Buffy wasn’t taking any risks.

“Shoot.”

“I think you did what you were supposed to do.  I think the point of the dreams was to warn you off the path you were on.  To bring you back to me.  To the side of good.”  Faith’s line of vision was focused on the floor between her feet, and Buffy could tell from the way her shoulders slumped forward that the other Slayer wasn’t so sure.  All things considered, Buffy wouldn’t be surprised if Faith thought maybe a tragic death wasn’t the best thing she could hope to deserve at this point.  _Welp, gotta try a little harder then._

“Okay, Faith, I’m warning you that I am reaching for the knife.”  Faith pulled away slightly, turning to face Buffy with naked shock, the fear rushing back to her eyes.  Her hand reached for the knife before Buffy could, and Buffy placed her own over Faith’s, pressing her hand—and the knife—down against the bed.  “Hey.”  She waited with her hand pressed firmly, but not threateningly, over Faith’s, until the other Slayer looked her in the eyes again.  “I’m not going to hurt you.  I promise.  Whether you believe it or not, I **_do_** care for you.  Surprisingly a lot.”  Buffy smiled, not even trying to hide the slight blush on her cheeks.  She needed Faith to know that she was being fully honest and vulnerable here.  “I trust you, even if you don’t trust yourself.  Now, I need you to trust me.”

Faith’s features remained tense for a breath.  Then two.  Then she relaxed.  Faith shrugged, then let go of the knife and pulled her hand back to her lap.  “Thanks.  So—”  Buffy picked up the knife in her right hand, tracing her left index finger softly over the knife’s deadly features.  “I think you’re looking at this knife all wrong.”  Faith gaped at her, as if she was a crazy person.  _Hell, maybe I am, but I’m gonna win this girl over if it’s the last thing I do._  “I don’t know anything about any alternate universes that you might’ve seen in your dreams, but I do know that this knife isn’t something you should be afraid of.”

“No offense, B, but you haven’t been in my head.  You’d be fuckin’ freaked out, too.”

Buffy shrugged, playfully gesturing with the knife in a sort of ‘who cares’ motion, intentionally trying to make the knife seem less dangerous.  “Maybe.  But seriously.  Just listen to me.  Do you know what I think of when I see this knife?”  Faith raised an eyebrow, clearly buying into Buffy’s speech now.  “I see a very creepy, very **_dead_** spider thing.  I see you, confused and lost and feeling trapped into a terrible situation, but still determined to protect Willow.  I see you—” Buffy put her left hand on Faith’s knee, “—saving my life, without a thought or a care for what the Mayor might think of that.”  Buffy grinned mischievously.  “I see **_you_** , Faith.  Dark, edgy, and dangerous, yes, but also reliable, protective, and **_beautiful._** ” 

More tears welled up under Faith’s eyes, but these were markedly different than before.  It was then that Buffy knew she had finally gotten through to the other Slayer.  Careful to move slowly and gently, Buffy laid the knife down in Faith’s lap.  “It’s yours.  Only you can decide what to do with it.  But if you ask me, I think you should use it for good.  It’s very you.” 

Buffy stood, and took Faith by the hand.  “Now, let’s get you cleaned up and in bed.  We’ve got a big day ahead of us tomorrow.”  With a soft smile, Faith gave in.  She let Buffy pull her up and lead her to the bathroom.  And Buffy knew she’d never let the Mayor hurt this girl again. 

~~~~

As she and Faith entered the library, Buffy was careful to study the reactions of everyone gathered there to meet them.  To that end, she had purposefully made sure that she and Faith arrived a few minutes after she had told everyone to be there.  And yet, she was disappointed to see that Xander hadn’t yet arrived.  _Ugh, well that’s going to be a whole thing when he gets here._

Willow was quick to give Faith a warm smile, but she was the only one who did so.  Oz was stoic as ever.  Giles didn’t seem surprised by Faith’s presence, but he kept his reaction guarded.  Wesley, however, reacted viscerally, retreating up the stairs and away from the Slayers, back towards the stacks.  He was always going to be the problem.

“Hey, you can chill out there, Wes,” Faith called out to him.  “Not here for round two or nothin’.”

“Buffy, what is **_she_** doing here?” Wesley shouted, refusing to acknowledge Faith’s comment.

“She’s here to help stop the Ascension, same as everyone else,” Buffy answered, just managing to keep the snarl out of her tone.  “Faith?”  The other Slayer stepped forward and laid the two packets of research on the table.  “Wes, you wanna get your head out of your ass and join the group?  You’re gonna want to take a look at this, trust me.”

“This is completely out of order!” he protested loudly, staying far away from Faith.  “Buffy, why would you trust anything she has to say?  That girl is unhinged!  Violent.”  Buffy glared at him.  “For all you know, she could be a spy for the Mayor.”

“She isn’t.”  Buffy turned her attention to Giles, done wasting her time.  “Take a look at these.  It’s research from a local professor, a volcano-ologist or something.  Mayor wanted him dead and the research destroyed, so we’re thinkin’ it’s important.”  Wesley started to raise another objection, but Buffy cut him off.  “Enough!  Faith is on Team Slayer, and she’s the only reason we have any idea what to expect from the Ascension.  If you’ve got a problem with her presence here, feel free to leave.  We don’t need you.”

Wesley walked around and down the other set of stairs, and Buffy honestly thought he was going to slink away in a huff.  But instead, he took the reading materials from Giles, seated himself at the table—in the chair farthest from Faith—and began to read.  Quietly. Which was just how Buffy preferred Wesley.  “Fine.  Now, let’s go ahead and just clear the air okay?”  Wesley wouldn’t look up, but she met everyone else’s eyes one-by-one, before turning to Faith and briefly pressing an encouraging grip on her bicep.  “Go ahead.”  Then Buffy took a seat nearby on the edge of the table.

They had talked on the way over about how best to reintroduce Faith into the group.  Ultimately, they had agreed that a simple, heartfelt apology from Faith would be best.  Buffy’s only request was that she do her best to keep the language to a strictly PG-13 level.  It remained to be seen whether she was capable of such.

Faith squirmed a little now that all eyes—save Wesley’s—were on her.  Some of her bravado and cool girl persona were back in place after a night of dreamless sleep, but she was definitely nervous about opening up and admitting her wrongdoing to people other than Buffy.  Trying to help, Buffy raised her eyebrows to get Faith’s attention, then mouthed, ‘you got this.’  Answering with a small smile, Faith locked eyes with Willow.  _Good, Faith.  Focus on the friendliest face in the audience._

“So … I’m sorry.  For everything.  Guess that sounds pretty dumb, and it isn’t nearly enough to make up for what all I’ve done.  But it’s a start.  It’s the only place I’ve got to start from.  I’m not asking for forgiveness—” she glanced pointedly at Giles, and Buffy felt a little uneasy.  _Why can’t she just keep it simple?_   “But B’s right.  I’m here to help.  I fu—I really screwed the pooch workin’ for the Mayor, and I had my reasons, but they were pretty crap, all things considered.  Point is, I’m putting it behind me, lookin’ to atone here.  And I wanna take that bastard down more than anyone else here, I can promise ya that.”

“I’m glad you’re back, Faith.”  Willow’s smile made it clear how much she meant it, and Oz nodded his support of Willow’s sentiment.  Giles remained silent, but it wasn’t like Buffy was expecting him and Faith to be best buds all of the sudden.  Willow started to add, “Plus it’s pretty cool that—” but she was cut off by Xander bursting into the room with Anya in tow.

“Hey guys!  Big news—whaaaat is Faith doing here?”  He stopped a good three feet from Faith, and Buffy rose to stand by her side again.  “And can I just say ‘please don’t hurt me?’”  Anya peered over his shoulder, unsure what to expect from Faith.

“Firmly back on Team Good here, Xander.  You gotta nothin’ to worry ‘bout as long as you don’t try and get handsy again.”  Xander frowned, looking to Buffy for clarification.  She put her arm around Faith’s shoulders in a show of support before nodding.

“You just missed the big apology.  Guess that’s what you get for being late.”  His brow furrowed, and he looked over to Giles.

“Uhh, not to invite any kind of Slayer retribution here, Buff, but are we all sure about this?  I mean … she had a knife to Will’s throat a couple of weeks ago.”

“Only because she had to!” Willow insisted.  “She did her best to protect me, though.”  Buffy and Faith both shot Willow a bright smile, before turning back to Xander.

“We’ve already heard all the complaints from Wesley, Xan.  You’re welcome to go sit in timeout with him if you’re uncomfortable.”  She knew Xander would balk at being lumped into a group with Wesley—ever since Cordelia developed a (gross, completely inexplicable) crush on the Watcher, Xander had hated the guy.

Responding in exactly the fashion Buffy had hoped, he shrugged.  “Okay then.  Good enough for me.  Welcome back to the team, Faith; please don’t stab me.”  He smiled tightly at her, then dropped the bomb.  “But in other pressing news, do you guys wanna know about the Ascension?”  He turned to Anya, hands held out as if making a presentation.  “Well, meet the only living person who's ever been to one.” 

Anya smiled stiffly, and Buffy got the distinct sense that she did not want to be there.  Buffy and Faith moved to go sit on Wesley’s side of the table, and Anya sat down by Oz and Willow.  Xander and Giles remained standing.  “This a former demon thing?” Buffy inquired, and Anya rolled her eyes, but nodded.  “Cool.  Well, get to talking, then we’ll go over Professor Worth’s research after that.”

Xander put a hand on Anya’s shoulder and nodded at her to go ahead.  She sighed as if they were all a terribly annoying inconvenience, but then she jumped right in.  “Okay so, about eight hundred years ago in the Kastka Valleys above the Urals, there was a sorcerer there who achieved Ascension.  Became the embodiment of the demon Lo-Hash.  I was there cursing a shepherd who had been unfaithful.”  She smiled brightly at the memory.  “His wife had wished that all his sheep would lie with—”

“Can we get back to the chase?” Buffy interjected, really not caring to hear the end of that story.  Faith chuckled, and Buffy had no doubt Faith would’ve loved Anya’s story.  But now wasn’t the time.  As Anya continued, Giles began to retrieve a few different books from his office and the cage on the far wall, depositing them on the table.

“Sorry.  Lo-Hash was ...”  She swallowed, and there was a distinct look of dread on her face now.  “It-it **_decimated_** the village within hours.  Maybe three people got out.  I've seen some horrible things in my time.  I've … been the cause of most of them, actually, but this...”

Wesley cleared his throat, startling Buffy—who had nearly forgotten he was there—just slightly.  “I’m sorry, but Lo-Hash was a four-winged soul killer, am I right?”  He looked at Giles, who nodded.  “I was given to understand that they're not that fierce.  Of all the demons that we've faced—”

“You've never seen a demon,” Anya insisted, cutting Wesley off brusquely.

Buffy felt her nose crinkle as her brows furrowed, and she raised her hand in the air.  “Uh, excuse me?  Kind of professionally, four years running.”

Anya shook her head.  “All the demons that walk the earth are tainted, are human hybrids like vampires.  The Ascension means that a human becomes **_pure_** demon.  They're different.”

“Different?”  Buffy watched Giles, who had asked the question, with wide eyes.  If he didn’t know this fact, it was definitely of the worrisome sort.

“Different how?”  Faith asked.  “Bigger?”

Again, Anya nodded.  “For one thing, yeah.”  Faith traded a look with Buffy, then launched into what she knew from Professor Worth.

“I think the professor the Mayor sent me to kill found the remains of whatever demon Wilkins is lookin’ to turn himself into.  Big snake-like thing.”

Wesley interjected, flipping through some of the notes.  “It seems our Dr. Worth headed an expedition in Hawaii, digging in old lava beds near a dormant volcano.”

“Yeah,” Faith confirmed.  “It’s what he found there that’s the problem.  Big, dead, and not nearly as old as he thought it should’ve been.”

“Hmm yes, a very large …” he flipped a page, “carcass!  Dr. Worth posits that it might be some heretofore undiscovered dinosaur.”

“Pretty sure it was a demon.  He said it was like some Mesosaurus or somethin’, but that those shoulda been extinct after … the whatever ever.  Point was, thing was only a few centuries old, and that freaked the old guy out.”

Giles spoke up then.  “Yes, that would certainly be something that the Mayor would want to keep a secret.  If it's the same kind of demon he's turning into and it's dead, it means that, well, he's only impervious to harm until the Ascension.  In his demon form, he can be killed.”

Faith briefly caught his eye.  “My thoughts exactly, G.  Ain’t exactly promisin’ though.”

Buffy agreed, laying the sarcasm on thick. “All we need is a million tons of burning lava.  We're saved.”  She turned back to Anya.  “With your sorcerer guy, do you remember anything else about his Ascension?”  Anya shrugged, and Buffy glanced around at Willow and then Faith.  “Oh!  What about the spiders?  The Mayor had a box of spiders that he had to eat. The Box of—” she made a face, as if she genuinely couldn’t remember.  “I want to say Grav-Locks?”  She cocked an eyebrow at Willow, a sly grin on her lips.

“Gavrok,” Giles supplied, clearly not catching on to Buffy’s playful tone.  _Way to miss the point, Mr. ‘I have to stay serious no matter what_.’

“It doesn't ring a bell.  And none of this sounds like Lo-Hash.  The rituals are different.”

“I wish that was a relief,” Giles muttered.  Then Mayor Wilkins himself sauntered into the room, and everyone stood uneasily.  The temperature in the room seemed to drop several degrees, and Buffy immediately moved between the Mayor and Faith.  Across the table, Giles was almost a mirror of her, moving in front of the other students.

“So, this is the inner sanctum.”  He slid a finger along the check-out counter as he walked by, considering it as if he’d tracked some dirt off its surface, then wiping his hands.  “Faith told me all about how this is where you folks like to hang out, concoct your little schemes.”  He looked each and every one of them straight in the eyes as he talked; the only exceptions were Buffy and Faith.  “I tell you, it's just nice to see that some young people are still interested in reading in this modern era.  So, what are kids reading nowadays?”  He walked closer, and Buffy moved back a little, holding her arms out to shield Faith and to force her to back up behind her.  They met eyes briefly before Buffy turned back to the Mayor, and Faith’s eyes were equal parts terror and fury.  Wilkins continued to the table and picked up a heavy, leather-bound book Giles had left open there.  Other than Buffy and Giles, no one else around the table had moved.

The Mayor read aloud, “’The beast will walk upon the earth and darkness will follow.  The several races of man will be as one in their terror and destruction.’  Aw, that's kind of **_sweet_**.  Different races coming together.”  It was so creepy, how warm and fatherly he could make his voice sound, even though Buffy knew he was a soulless monster.

“You never get even a little tired of hearing yourself speak, do you?” Buffy spat, daring him to come after her.

Wilkins just chuckled, setting the book back down on the table before taking a step back and turning his gaze to Giles.  “That's one spunky little girl you've raised.”  Wilkins finally faced Buffy, and now his eyes were cold and vicious.  His voice dropped on octave as he growled, “I'm gonna eat her.”  Buffy sensed rapid movement behind her, but before she could react a familiar whistling sound accompanied the feel of something flying past her face.  Then there was Faith’s knife, buried all the way to its hilt in the Mayor’s skull.  Buffy could feel Faith’s left hand lightly on her hip now, steadying them both.

She had hit him right between the eyes, and he staggered back a few steps before catching his balance.  It should’ve been a gruesome sight.  Instead, it was merely unnerving, as he reached up and took hold of the knife.  He pulled it from his forehead as if it were nothing more cumbersome than a stray hair.  It took only seconds for the jagged gash in his face to stitch itself bloodlessly back together.  Then he looked at the knife with pure and unfiltered contempt, then set it down on the check-out counter beside him.

“Guess you liked my gift after all, huh Faith?”  He grinned wickedly at her, but his eyes remained cold.  “I can’t tell you how disappointed I was to hear that you had gone back to Ms. Summers here.  I had such high hopes for you.  Such big plans.”  His eyes darted back and forth between the Slayers.  “She’ll never love you back, you know.  Not like that.”  Buffy’s eyes went wide, but she couldn’t look back at Faith right then.  She was frozen in place, caught off guard by the sudden turn.  “Not after what you’ve done, my dear.  It’s honestly just so sad.”  Finally, he focused solely on Buffy, eyes practically burning with anger by then.  “She’s like a daughter to me.  And any good father knows, when his daughter acts out, there’s no avoiding the inevitable punishment.”

Buffy bristled, but she put an arm out to keep Faith behind her.  “Get out,” she growled.

His eyebrows raised. “I smell fear.  That's smart.  Some of your deaths will be quick, if that's worth anything.”  His eyes lingered on Faith, making it very clear that hers would not be quick at all.  Then his nice guy veneer was firmly back in place, soft smile and warm eyes hiding the evil lurking beneath.  “Well, see you all at graduation.  You don't want to miss my commencement address.” He turned and began to walk out, but not before adding, “It's going to be one **_heck_** of a speech.”

~~~~

“Thanks, B.  I mean it.”  Buffy set her bag down on the floor by the closet and faced Faith.  They had just returned from the apartment the Mayor had gifted Faith, to retrieve as many of her things as they could in one trip.  Buffy sure as hell wasn’t letting her go back there on her own, but Faith insisted on getting some clothes, her compound bow, her comics, and, annoyingly, her Playstation.  There had been a couple of vamps hanging around, but they had dispatched them without any further trouble. 

And now the two of them were standing across the room from each other, Faith finally returned to her rightful place, at least as far as Buffy was concerned, in the Summers’ house.  It was, however, very clear that there was so very much more between them than just Faith’s bed.  They each had their own private traumas, in addition to a whole slew of shared trauma they had built up over the last few months.  They had their shared burdens, shared passions, and the ever-present Slayer bond between them.  They had the still only hinted at feelings for each other.  And all of that brought with it a jumbled mix of pain, hesitation, and confusion for them both.

Fortunately, it was the end of the school year, and they were yet again facing down their regularly scheduled apocalypse.  _No time to worry about all that complicated stuff when we all might die in two days._   Instead, Buffy and Faith were free to just let go and appreciate that somehow, they had overcome everything to find their way back to each other.  What future might be between them was a question for another day.  So, Buffy simply smiled back at Faith, who was looking at her hesitantly, and told her, “I’m just glad to have you home.”

Faith smiled softly, but there was a sadness there.  “Home,” she whispered, making a face as if the word sounded weird on her tongue.  “Not sure I’ve ever really had one of those, B.  But it’s enough that you want me around still.” 

“I do,” Buffy assured her.  “Think I’m gonna take a shower and hit the hay.  Get a bunch of sleep before the big planning session tomorrow.”

“B, hold on a sec, okay?”  Buffy glanced back, and she was met again with Faith’s vulnerable and tentative face.  This version of Faith was a rare creature Buffy had only caught a few glimpses at in the time she’d known her but was seeing more and more of the past two days.  Vulnerable Faith was something that had the power to stop Buffy in her tracks and demand her attention. 

So, Buffy walked back and took a seat on the edge of Faith’s bed.  “What’s up?”

“Big battle goin’ down soon, figured you could use a reliable weapon.”  She smirked, leaning back onto the dresser.   “Ya know, since of the two of us, you’re clearly the one who needs the most help.”

Buffy rolled her eyes.  “As I recall, you’re the one who always runs from any fight we get into.”

“That was once, and that kiss would’ve been much less dramatic if I had hung around,” Faith joked, and Buffy was impressed with her willingness to make light of a situation that Buffy knew still weighed on her conscience.  _Maybe that’s part of how Faith deals with trauma._   “Anyway.  Whatever.  I’m trying to make a meaningful point here; stop jokin’ around.”

“Yeah okay, Faith.  **_I’m_** the one cracking jokes.”

“Shh.”  Faith pulled her knife and laid it on the dresser.  “It occurs to me that I never got you a birthday present.”  She smiled cautiously, watching Buffy’s reaction from under her eyelashes. 

Buffy’s eyes narrowed in playful surprise.  “So, I tell you that knife is like a perfect symbol of all things Faith, and your first action after that is to give the knife away?”

“Well, my **_first_** action after you told me that was to lodge the knife deep in the Mayor’s fucked up skull.  And anyway, I’m not just giving it away.  I’m giving it to you.”  The first realization washed over her at that point.  Faith agreed with Buffy’s assessment that the knife was a perfect symbol of Faith herself, and the thing Faith wanted the most for that symbol was for it to be Buffy’s.  _Wow, subtle._   But as obvious as it was, that didn’t make it any less profound or any less sweet.

It wasn’t until Buffy looked back up at Faith that she realized a small smile had begun to play along her own lips, of its own accord.  And when Faith noticed this smile, her own face lit up.  She pushed off the dresser, taking the knife with her, and she sashayed towards Buffy.  Faith sat on the other corner of the bed, dropping the knife between them again.  “In my hands, this is … I dunno, I guess some part of me will always think of the Mayor when I wield this knife.  But you …”  Faith looked away, clearly trying to hide a bit of a blush.  “Hell, when you use it, I hope you’ll think of me.  And not in a bad way.”

“I will,” Buffy promised.  She couldn’t quite keep the awe out of her voice.  _Who knew Faith was secretly a romantic?  And maybe even a tiny bit of a poet?_ There was a depth to Faith that Buffy had only seen glimpses of, but for which she desperately wished more.  But as she gripped the knife and lifted it, Buffy again saw that tell-tale flash of apprehension cross Faith’s eyes, as if on instinct. 

This was when the second realization hit her.  This gift was not just a sweet representation of Faith’s romantic feelings for Buffy.  It was also symbolic of Faith finally deciding to trust Buffy fully.  “You aren’t worried about the dreams?”

“Some part of me is.  Probably will for a long time.  They were vivid as hell, B.  They felt so real, and I dunno if I’ll get past that dread anytime soon.  But that isn’t the point.  Fuck the dreams.  I trust you.  Whatever happened in the dreams, there’s no way the Buffy Summers I know could do that to me.”  Faith bit her lip nervously, then shrugged.  “Guess I just wanted you to know that.” 

Faith pushed off of the bed and walked around Buffy to the closet, where she pulled out the ax Buffy had given her for Christmas.  It was the first time Buffy had seen the ax since she had hidden it in Faith’s closet over a month ago, hurt that the girl had left it behind when she returned for most of her things.  Faith hefted it, then swung it around skillfully with a crooked grin across her lips.  “Besides, I’m more of an ax gal, myself.”

The moment was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and then closing downstairs.  They exchanged curious glances at the murmuring sound of voices below.  “Should we check it out?” Buffy asked.

“Not like your mom ever gets visitors,” Faith quipped.  “We gotta get Joyce out in the dating scene.”

“Hard pass.”  Faith was right behind her as they walked downstairs.

~~~~

Wesley was not a very good actor, or maybe he just didn’t care about subterfuge.  Either way, he watched Faith with unbridled animosity as she followed Buffy into the living room.  Sensing that he wasn’t there on a social call, Buffy moved protectively in front of Faith.  She had such mixed feelings whenever the blonde did that.  On the one hand, Faith could protect herself, and she didn’t care for anyone implying she couldn’t.  On the other, it was incredibly hot and incredibly sweet.

Giles had accompanied Wesley, but Faith didn’t get the impression they were on the same page.  The two Watchers stood in the wide door frame between the foyer and the living room, while Joyce sat watching the proceedings warily from the couch.  “Buffy, stand aside,” Wesley ordered, trying his best to give the impression of an intimidating authority figure.  It was a role for which he had never been suited at all, and neither Buffy nor Faith shrunk back from him in the least. 

“What’s goin’ on, Wes?” Buffy asked nonchalantly, but not without adding a bit of steely undertone to the question.

“She’s coming with, Buffy.  Faith must be returned to England immediately, where she will be evaluated, punished as the Council sees fit, and then assessed for whether she has any real chance of being reeducated and returned to her calling.”

Faith kept her face an emotionless mask.  Despite everything, part of her wondered if Buffy would go along with this.  Neither of them had much regard for the Council anymore, but Faith had done terrible things.  She was fully deserving of punishment, and she wouldn’t blame Buffy if she took the easy way out here.  The Watcher’s Council was powerful in ways neither of them fully understood, and flouting them openly by protecting Faith was an unambiguously more radical act than simply ignoring the Watcher they had sent her.  It would hurt if Buffy turned her over to Wesley, but Faith wouldn’t fight it.

Not in front of Buffy anyway.  No way in hell she was going to submit herself to the authority of the Watcher’s Council though.  She was determined to accept the consequences of her actions.  But not from these men.  As far as Faith was concerned, they had no moral authority whatsoever.  They were a cabal of abusers who cursed young girls with a sacred duty, stripped those girls of their future against their will, and upon their eighteenth birthdays, put them through a harrowing trial whose true purpose was to get them out of the way for the next young girl to be controlled and manipulated as a mere tool in the Council’s ancient war against the forces of evil.  Faith would die before she submitted to their authority ever again.  After she left with Wesley, she would just escape again.  Seek her redemption elsewhere.

But she should’ve known better than to doubt Buffy.  The other Slayer didn’t move from her protective stance in front of Faith, and her voice was cold and threatening as she asked, “And if the Council decides she isn’t capable of being redeemed?”

Wesley’s intimidating Watcher façade dropped for a moment, his face flooding with an expression of honest guilt and sorrowful empathy.  “If not, she will be put to death so that the next Slayer may be called.”

“Yeah that’s not gonna happen.”  Buffy stated this as unquestionable fact.  It still amazed Faith when she got like this.  Buffy was the tiniest person in the room, but there could be no question that she was the most powerful person there in this moment, the sole legitimate source of authority.  She stood with such confidence, and as Faith watched her, a warm sense of admiration—and yeah, okay something a little less modest—settled low in her gut.

Despite his inability to hide the distress in his eyes, Wes did his best to play it cool.  “I have orders from the Watcher’s Council to take Ms. Lehane into custody,” he insisted.

_Ms. Lehane?  Really?_

Buffy looked at Wesley like he was the biggest idiot in the world.  Like she couldn’t fucking believe what he had just said.  “Orders?” she scoffed.  “I don't think I'm gonna be taking any more orders.  Not from you, not from them.”

“You can't turn your back on the Council.”  Wesley seemed confused more than anything, the full weight of Buffy’s words not quite dawning on him yet.

Buffy shrugged.  “They're in England.  I don't think they can tell which way my back is facing.”

Wesley glared at Faith, then turned back to his fellow Watcher.  “Giles, talk to her.”

Giles walked past him to come stand by the Slayers.  “I've nothing to say right now.”

“Wesley, go back to your Council—” he tried to interrupt, and she raised her voice empathically as she continued to talk over him, “—and **_tell_** them, until the next Slayer comes along, they can close up shop.  We’re not working for them anymore.”  For the first time since Wes had started talking, Buffy stole a glance back at Faith.  Their eyes met, and it sent another electric thrill through Faith.  But Wes wasn’t giving up.

“Don't you see what's happening?  Faith is playing you!  She is using your affection for her against you.  Don’t think for a moment that her little show of force against the Mayor today meant anything.  She knew he was invulnerable!  We cannot risk her involvement in this final battle.”

Buffy took a step forward, cracking her knuckles as she did so.  “I trust her.  A hell of a lot more than I trust you.  I’ve already got a strategy for takin’ down the Mayor, and she’s a big part of it.  You’re not.”

“This is mutiny,” he deadpanned.  It was ridiculous that he believed he still had the moral high ground here.

Buffy paused, and while Faith could no longer see her face, she could hear the wry grin in her voice.  “I like to think of it as graduation.  Now, get out of my house.”

“Buffy—”

“My daughter told you to leave,” Joyce chided, and now she was standing next to Giles. 

Giles was the one to break the standstill.  “Come now, Wesley, I shall see you out.”  And with that, he led the Watcher out the front door. 

As Buffy turned back to Faith, a wave of affection washed over her.  She had finally decided to trust Buffy fully, and not less than an hour later, the blonde proved beyond worthy of that trust.  Before she could stop herself, she rushed forward and wrapped Buffy in a tight hug.  “Thank you.”

Buffy held her for a good thirty seconds, then pulled away.  “You don’t have to thank me.  I told you already, I believe in you.  But hey—”  Buffy gave her a firm look.  “Use this.  Prove him wrong.  I know you’re carrying a lot of guilt, and now, it’s on you to atone for the things that weigh you down.”  Faith nodded, and it was enough that Buffy believed in her.  Maybe she wasn’t too far off from starting to believe in herself again.

Moving past Faith, Buffy put a hand on her mom’s arm.  “Mom, I need you to go pack a bag or two.  Tomorrow, you’re getting out of town.”

Joyce frowned.  “Buffy, I’d miss your graduation.”

“Yeah, that’s sort of the idea.”  Faith smiled softly.  Of course Buffy would want to protect Joyce, just in case they failed.  Faith felt a little embarrassed she hadn’t thought of it herself.

“There’s no way!  I wouldn’t dream—”

“Mom,” Buffy cut her off, and her voice was almost as authoritative as when she was talking to Wesley.  “Graduation is a pointless ceremony where you sit around and listen to a bunch of boring speeches until someone hands you a piece of paper that says you graduated, which you already know, and maroon does nothing for my complexion, so—”

“Damn, B.  You don’t gotta sugar coat it like that,” Faith chuckled.  “Besides, we both know you look incredible in damn near anything.”  Buffy rolled her eyes, but Faith focused on Joyce.  “Big evil is comin’, Momma B.  I know you’ll be worried, but Buffy and I gotta do our thing.  Save the world in all.  She’s gonna have a hard time doin’ that if she’s worried about you.”

Buffy’s eyes turned soft and warm as she looked at Faith thankfully, and Joyce’s shoulders shrugged as the truth of what was happening hit her.  “She’s right, Mom,” Buffy admitted softly.  “I … I know you wish things were different.  A-and I wish I could be a lot of things for you.  A great student, star athlete … or you know, remotely normal.”  She shrugged.  “I’m not. But there is something I do that I can do better than anybody else in the world—”

“Debatable,” Faith corrected, but Buffy ignored her.

“I'm gonna fight this thing, and Faith will have my back.  But yeah … we can't do it and worry about you.  If you stay, you’ll get me killed.  You just have to trust me on this.”  Faith felt bad for Joyce.  It couldn’t be easy parenting a Chosen One.  Having to let go and let your daughter run off to face all the worst dangers of the world no one else could handle.  But it was clear that they had made their point.

“I’m making a big breakfast for you girls, no arguments.  And then I will go.  I can probably stay with my friend Lena in Los Angeles.  I’ll leave you her number, and you call me the minute that this crisis is averted, so I know that you’re safe.”  She hugged Buffy tightly, but then turned stern eyes to Faith.  “And **_you_**!  I know you’ve been through some things, even if I don’t know exactly what’s going on with you.  But I’m trusting you to protect her.  My daughter’s life is in your hands, Faith.  Don’t let me down.”

“I promise.”

~~~~

This was it.  The big day.  Everything her life had been building towards since she accidentally killed the deputy mayor.  Faith was ready for it, outfitted in a combat-ready version of her usual black on black: a sleeveless top, her best ass-kicking pants, and heavy combat boots.  She had her ax in one hand and a stake in the other.  She just never guessed she’d be getting the party started in a dark room with Angel at her side.  The silence between them was practically drowning in tension and unspoken feelings.  Mostly of disapproval, jealousy, and enmity in general, but some small part of Faith did genuinely feel bad for what she’d done to Angel.  Or tried to do anyway.

_Although the fact that he called B a dyke when he wasn’t even actually evil is a major point in favor of me still hating the guy._

The two of them were watching the events from a building across the street from the high school.  They had a clear line of sight at the courtyard where graduation was taking place, three or four hundred feet away.  But they had to remain hidden until the right moment.  Angel because the eclipse wouldn’t come until the Ascension started, and he was no good to them as a pile of ashes.  And Faith because her presence at the Ascension was the big surprise they needed to get the Mayor distracted and following the plan. 

They were far enough away that they couldn’t hear anything, but Faith could make out the Mayor as he approached the podium to give his commencement address.  She couldn’t see his face very clearly, but she imagined he had to be pissed at the meager turnout for graduation.  Buffy and the Scoobies had warned the student body yesterday at the rehearsal that major evil was going down today.  Many of them had convinced their parents to leave town and avoid graduation at all costs.  Hopefully the ones who had stuck around had been smart enough to at least heed Buffy’s warning that they should bring any weapons they could get their hands on—in particular anything sharp and wooden.  There was no question that the Mayor’s pack of vampire lackeys would be out and about as soon as the sun went out _._   She knew that the Scoobies had been handing out glass bottles of holy water as well, and Xander and Oz had stowed plenty of supplies in the area for makeshift Molotov cocktails, per Faith’s suggestion.

 _Ya know, I wonder who has better long-range vision, a Slayer or a vampire?_   Faith didn’t care enough to actually try and engage Angel in conversation.  As far as she was concerned, if she never had to say another word to him in her entire life, that would be just fine.  However, Angel apparently had other ideas.  “She told you that I’m leaving?” he asked, eyes staying firmly on the proceedings across the street.  She shrugged.  He didn’t need an answer; he knew that Buffy would’ve told her that.  The question was rhetorical anyway.  “But don’t think I won’t keep tabs.  I get that Buffy and I can’t be together, but I still love her.  And I will protect her, no matter what.”

“Protect her from me, you mean?” Faith muttered.  She didn’t care enough about his opinion of her to let it bother her.

“If necessary.  Buffy believes in you, despite everything you’ve done.  She trusts you, for some reason.  She’s given you another chance; don’t screw that up.”  It bothered Faith how much his words sounded like the warning she herself had given to Giles after Buffy’s Cruciamentum.  Angel wasn’t wrong.  He had every reason to doubt her, and her betrayal had hardly been any less painful than Giles’, all things considered.  Maybe that was why his words stung so much.

“Believe me, pretty boy.  Not about to give you any reason to show your lumpy face around here again.”  She smirked, even though they both continued to look steadfastly anywhere other than at each other.  “You got every reason to doubt me, but I have no intention of fucking up this second chance.”

A less than friendly “Good,” was the only response he could muster before the eclipse began, signaling that the time for their bickering was over.  _Showtime._   She and Angel were out of the building and sprinting across the street as soon as the shadow settled over the ground.  She could see the Mayor’s quivering form on the stage, his transformation only just beginning.  Between them and the crowd of students, the Mayor’s platoon of vampires had already begun to form a wall, keeping the students from running.  There were at least twenty of them, maybe more.

Faith didn’t give a fuck.  They didn’t see her coming as she plowed right into them from behind, decapitating one and staking another.  She swung wildly with her ax, riding the line between actually trying to take several of them out without getting bogged down in a battle.  She was going through them, not against them.  Still, she thought she managed to dust four or five before she came out on the other side of them, still running as she took the stairs up to where the rag-tag army of students was waiting.

What loomed beyond them was a truly horrifying sight.  The Mayor’s familiar human form was gone, replaced by a towering snake-like demon.  His head, now the size of a car, was bulbous, almost bug-like in a way, with a thick, bony ridge of armor plating that extended back from his slanted, hollowed out eyes, which glowed every so slightly, as if there was only a trace of a white hot ember buried in each.  His jaws opened wide to expose two rows of wickedly sharp fangs, but there were also several fanged mandibles along the edge of his mouth as well.  The rest of his body was a long, slithering mass of spiny plates and dark scales, and Faith’s rough estimate, surveying the now coiled-up length of his form, was that the demon Wilkins was several hundred feet long.  She had no doubt he could easily swallow a human whole, a fact which he proved by devouring the annoying principal guy—Snyder—in one bite.

 _Here we go._   She found Buffy, and the Slayer energy was pulsing between them now.  She had the same intense fire in her eyes that Faith could feel radiating inside herself.  “You’ve got this,” Buffy assured her. 

“You know it,” Faith agreed.

“Run fast.”  Buffy allowed just a hint of concern to show in her face before she was back to full-on battle Buffy again.

“The fastest.  Meanwhile, you kick some major ass for me, B.”  That was all they could afford to say to each other in that moment, because that’s when Wilkins noticed her.  She could see his dark eyes widen in recognition.  Faith strode forward to face him.

This was the only part of the plan that the Slayers had argued about.  Faith knew it had to be her that faced the Mayor.  Buffy fought her on it; the other Slayer hadn’t wanted to put Faith in that position.  But Faith wanted it.  **_Needed_** it.  This man had manipulated her, used her, and tried to turn her into something she wasn’t.  He had pretended to care for her while subtly making her feel like she was something irredeemably evil.  Something only he could love.  Faith would never have been able to put that behind her if she hadn’t been the one to face him, to lure him into the trap.  Plus, he was much more likely to fly into a rage and chase after Faith than Buffy—they both knew that was the truth.  Buffy’s role was different, had to be different.  Buffy would do her thing, leading the remaining students and directing the flow of the battle.  She was the general.  Faith was the warrior.  And she had a monster to kill.

“Well well, Faith, I must say, I’m impressed.”  Wilkins’ voice was the same in many ways, only deeper and with a sort of otherworldly rasp to it.  “I was worried I might have to chase you down, but it certainly is nice of you to accept your punishment like a good little girl.”

“You can cut it with the father-daughter bullshit, Boss.  I ain’t buyin’ it anymore.” Faith announced confidently, flipping her ax around with a threatening flourish. 

The Mayor sighed— _yeah, you saw that right, Faith; the giant demon snake sighed_ —then narrowed his eyes in frustration.  “You know, I was going to save you for last, young lady.  Make you watch your precious Buffy and her cohorts die first.  But I just don’t think I can tolerate this sort of insolence any longer.  I just don’t know where I went wro—” Faith didn’t wait any longer.  She knew he was riled up enough now.  Instead, she darted past him as fast as she could, using the element of surprise to cut a deep gash into his side before darting into the school.  She heard the booming roar of pain and surprise behind her, and then the chase was on. 

Faith knew where she was going practically on instinct by now.  She had practiced the route over and over and over again last night while the Scoobies and a few other students had worked.  She needed to make sure to pull the Mayor’s entire length into the halls of the school for the plan to work.  But he wasn’t about to make it easy on her.

She sprinted as fast as she could without making turns around corners impossible, and even still she felt his hot, cloying breath at her back several times.  As he pursued her through the hallways, Wilkins continued to taunt her in his creepy sing-song scolding voice, calling Buffy a whore and telling Faith that she was nothing without him.  It only pushed her to run even faster.

What the Mayor didn’t realize was that the lockers lining these hallways were filled with fertilizer.  Willow’s idea.  She turned the final corner, and as in each of her practice runs the nights before, she could feel her body starting to tire just a little.  _So close, push push push._   The difference was that now she was running on Slayer juice and pure adrenaline, and she found a second wind that sent her plowing into the library at least a good ten feet ahead of the Mayor’s terrifying new head.  She didn’t even bother to register the pounds and pounds of fertilizer around her—much less the heavy stench of gasoline and laundry detergent—as she leapt onto the table, using her momentum to spring up and over the railing of the upper level of stacks, and out through the back exit.   _Any second now.  Any second now._   The Mayor was no longer behind her, and she could see her exit window just ahead, and then everything went dark.

The charges Giles had set up in the library went off, setting off the potent mix of chemicals in the library.  The force of the explosion threw Faith through the window just as she was leaping at it, the force of it rendering her temporarily unconscious.  The explosion was enough to ignite the fertilizer in the lockers, and over the next several seconds, blast after blast ripped out into the temporarily night sky, bringing a good chunk of the high school down on top of what was now hopefully nothing more than the charred remains of Mayor Richard Wilkins III.  It wasn’t a volcano, but it was the best they could come up with on such short notice.

Faith came to as Giles approached her, and she couldn’t hear him over the ringing in her ears.  She blinked heavily, and she couldn’t quite focus her vision.  Everything felt disoriented and hazy.  _Is this what a concussion feels like?_ she wondered.  She let Giles pull her to her feet, but not before she plucked her ax from the ground beside her.  Only then did she wrap an arm around him and let him carry her away from the smoldering remains of the school library.  Part of her wanted to rush back into the battle, to help Buffy, but she could barely stand on her own at this point.  Still, she had done her part and survived, and she had to trust that Buffy would do the same.

The demon was dead, and his vampires wouldn’t be far behind.  Thanks to Faith, the battle was won.  The only real question was what came next.

~~~~

Finding Faith after the battle had been an interesting challenge.  Whatever dark magic had brought on the eclipse had apparently been tied to the Mayor himself, so the destruction of Sunnydale High School had the almost comical side effect of returning the afternoon to full, sunny daylight.  Meaning that in defeating the Mayor, Faith had also managed to finish off Buffy’s side of the battle.  The remaining vampires burned away to ash within a minute of the sun’s return.  Angel had only survived because he happened to be fighting back-to-back with Buffy at that moment, and she acted quickly to cover him with several graduation gowns and get him into the shadows.

But when the smoke had cleared and the Scoobies had reassembled, Faith was gone.  Giles said she had been survived her encounter with the Mayor, though the explosion had disoriented her.  Once the sun had returned, she had slipped away from Giles and run off.  Buffy had taken the time to make sure everyone was okay, and she had found a phone with which to call her mom, then she took off in search of the other Slayer.

Faith had a good thirty-minute lead on her, and Buffy was at a distinct disadvantage, since she didn’t have a very good idea of where Faith might go.  Her apartment didn’t seem like the sort of place she would return to at a moment like this, nor did she think home was all that likely.  She doubted Faith was in the state of mind for the Bronze.  And as far as Buffy knew, Faith didn’t exactly have any other go-to hangout spots.

In the end, she had focused on the Slayer connection between them.  She had never used it in that way, but her instincts told her that it could work.  So, she had concentrated on that familiar gut feeling that was always so present when she and Faith were fighting together, until she started to recognize the faintest hint of it, far away.  It took her another hour of trial and error and confusing inward meditation, but Buffy eventually found herself at Kingsman’s Bluff. 

And there was Faith, sitting quietly as she looked out over the Pacific Ocean.  The girl’s silhouette was so beautiful as Buffy walked up behind her, dark hair flowing in the slight breeze against the backdrop of the just now setting sun.  Her ax rested on the ground about a foot to her right.  Buffy hadn’t even realized that Faith knew about this place, but the other Slayer seemed so peaceful and at home here.  Buffy settled down quietly on the ground next to Faith.  There was no need for words between them, not at first.  For a long moment, it was enough that they had won.  They had overcome everything between them in order to team up and beat the big bad, and they had survived the whole ordeal.  Seemed appropriate to take a few minutes and enjoy the sunset together.

“Guess we did it, huh?”  Faith’s eyes stayed on the horizon, her voice light and airy. 

“Guess we did,” Buffy agreed.  She playfully bumped her shoulder against Faith’s, but instead of pulling away, she leaned into the contact.  Faith seemed content with the small touch.  “Took me a while to find you.”

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that.”  Faith closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath as she raised her chin slightly.  “My first instinct was to charge back into the battle, but then the sun came back, and I figured you probably had things under control.”  She blinked, a thought noticeably crossing her mind.  “Is the boy toy okay?”

Buffy made a face at the moniker, but she explained that he was fine.  She’d gotten him under cover quickly enough that he only suffered a few minor burns.  “Seriously, though, why’d you run?”

“Didn’t run, exactly.  Just felt the sudden urge for some quiet time on my own, ya know?”

Buffy nodded softly.  “I guess I can understand that.  You come here often?”

Faith’s eyes focused on something in the distance, her face briefly darkening before it relaxed into the same stoic appearance she’d been wearing since Buffy approached.  “I used to, back before everything went to shit.  It’s my favorite spot in town.”  She drew in a soothing breath, then released it.  “Everything just seems simpler up here.  I can clear my head a little.  Like all my problems just aren’t as daunting.”

It was a beautiful sentiment.  Buffy found that she was really happy Faith had a place like this, and especially that she had found her way back to it after a dark period.  “Do you want me to leave you alone right now?”

“No, please stay.”  Faith still hadn’t looked over at Buffy, but she hadn't pulled away from where their shoulders were softly leaning into each other either.  “I knew you’d find me here eventually.  Felt you searching.”  Someday, they needed to see if they couldn’t find any information on whatever this supernatural bond between them was.  Someday, but not today.  Today, Buffy was just glad for it.

“It’s beautiful up here.”

“Isn’t it?”  Faith smiled softly.  “I know I already said this about twenty times, but I’m really sorry about everything.”

Buffy chuckled.  “At some point, you’re gonna have to stop apologizing.”

“Maybe tomorrow,” Faith joked, the hints of that smile still playing along the corners of her lips.  “I don’t really get it, though.  I been through a lot in my life.  Seen a lot of darkness.  Been let down by a lot of people.  By everyone really, save for a few recent exceptions.  So … I dunno, maybe I just never learned that thing you’re supposed to learn.  How to care about people.  How to … like, fight and apologize and heal and stuff.  I just … after what I did, I don’t really get how you can forgive me.  I don’t deserve it.”

Neither of them moved, and Buffy let Faith’s words hang between them for a few seconds.  Faith wasn’t lashing out, and she certainly wasn’t throwing herself a pity party.  Buffy thought maybe she really, genuinely just didn’t understand why Buffy would let her back into her life after everything.  Maybe Faith was right; maybe she had never been in the right situation to learn that particular life lesson.  How to get past the hurt and the pain caused by someone solely because you love them.

Buffy slid a little closer and snaked her arm around Faith’s shoulders.  “You know, Giles once told me that forgiveness is an act of compassion.  You don’t do it because people deserve it.  You do it because they need it.  You do it because you **_care_** about them.”  Faith turned her head, and the Slayers met each other’s gaze for the first time since they’d parted during the heat of the battle.  Faith’s somewhat clouded eyes searched her own, looking for insight.  “I don’t think I really got it back then, but I do now.  It really isn’t about what you’ve done or balancing some scale of making sure you pay your dues and punish yourself enough to outweigh the things you did that hurt me.  What it comes down to is that I value you and I want you in my life, and for that to happen, I have to forgive you.”  Buffy leaned in and pressed her forehead softly against Faith’s, closing her eyes for just a moment.  “And hope that you can forgive yourself.” 

For one quiet moment, everything felt perfectly at peace between them.  Buffy hoped Faith could at least start to understand what Buffy was saying.  Because she had forgiven her, already.  She **_did_** want Faith in her life.  But it was up to Faith to forgive herself first.

As Buffy’s eyes fluttered open and she started to pull back from Faith’s forehead, the other girl leaned in again, her lips searching for Buffy’s.   Buffy breathed in sharply and pulled her head back, then she slid away to give herself just a tiny bit of space between their bodies.  She could tell the movement—the rejection—had hurt the other girl’s feelings by the way her shoulders slumped as her watery eyes shimmered with a pang of sadness.

“Faith, I’m sorry.”  She reached a hand out, and while Faith initially flinched away, she allowed Buffy’s hand to settle down on top of hers.  “I just … can’t.  Not right now.  I meant it when I said that I forgive you.  I promise.  But …”  Buffy blew out a frustrated breath, wishing she was better with words in situations like this.  “It’s a lot.  It’s been a lot for a couple of months now.  There’s still a lot of pain I’m carrying, a lot of mixed up feelings and confusing stuff between us.  I still need to heal.  I think probably you do, too.”

Buffy thought about leaving it at that, but she figured brutal honesty was probably the best policy at this point.  There was no danger of Faith running again, and she needed to know where things stood between them.  They both did, if there was any hope of them moving forward.  “And yeah, Angel’s a big part of that pain, okay?  Some part of me will always love him, and what you did …”  Faith’s face dropped, and Buffy cringed.  “I’m not trying to beat you up or punish you here.  But it was … that night was really horrible for me.  It really hurt.”

Faith nodded, turning her body ever so slightly away from Buffy.  “I get it.  I fucked up.  That’s why I keep apologizing.  But really, it’s enough to know that you forgive me.  That you want me around, even if that’s just …  ya know, as a friend or whatever.  I’ll deal.”  She glanced over, then returned her eyes to the ocean.  “But be completely real with me here, B.  Do you really want me to stick around?  Because I can go.  I can find my path to redemption somewhere else—”

“Faith, don’t you dare.”  Buffy surprised even herself with the intensity of the statement.  She’d certainly gotten Faith’s attention, her eyes firmly locked on Buffy’s again.  “I said you belong with me, and I still believe that.  I **_want_** you here.  I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but you’re a person, Faith.  I happen to think you’re a really good person.  You’re witty and sharp and gorgeous, and you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.  Life’s given you a crap hand, and you’ve made a couple of really awful decisions.  But it’s nothing you can’t come back from.  I **_believe_** in you.”  She entwined their fingers, smiling warmly at the other Slayer.  “And I’m not saying never, you know …  with … yeah.”  Buffy blushed a little, realizing she was kind of a stuttering mess when it came to this topic.  “I’m just saying that—” Buffy thought for a couple of seconds about the best way of phrasing what she was feeling, then, as her gaze fell briefly on the ax beside Faith, it hit her.  “I’ve **_always_** got your back, Faith.  But for now, I can’t promise you any more than that.”

Faith nodded softly, then squeezed Buffy’s hand.  “Okay.”

“Okay.”

Buffy couldn’t be sure what the future would hold for either of them.  It was enough, for now, that she wanted Faith by her side, and Faith felt the same way.  Whether she and Faith would ever be more than … _what?  Co-Slayers?  The Chosen Two?  Friends?_ Buffy wasn’t even sure what to call their relationship.  But whether it would ever become something more was a question Buffy wasn’t in the right place to consider yet.  Whatever happened, she felt confident that she and Faith were connected, strongly connected, and they belonged together, in whatever form that took.  And now, with Faith back on the right path, the future was wide open.  Where that path led them would have to be a story for another day.

_Tonight, all I need is this sunset, this bond, and this pleasant feel of victory._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it!
> 
> But if you enjoyed this, I promise I'm not done. A sequel is coming, though I don't have any definite schedule planned. I have every intention of writing a story in this universe for each remaining season of Buffy. I doubt any of the sequels will hew as closely to the actual canon of the show as this one did, but I promise more Fuffy goodness.
> 
> As always, I love all the comments and appreciate your happy thoughts :)


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